Dancing on the Sky
Part One - "Grid of Misery"
Chapter Two - "If Only Tears Could Bring You Back
Author: Mizzy
E-mail: PG-13
This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by Diane Duane, and various publishers. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Summary: Grief can be a hard thing to come to terms with, sorrow can be a recalcitrant adversary, and hope is the hardest thing to find in the middle of a storm when all you can do is dance on the sky and hope for the best.
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Sometimes Kit wished that he'd never gotten into wizardry in the first place, that he'd taken the metaphorical 'blue pill' instead. Moments like that, he would feel hollow like he was falling, unable to stop, and thinking What the heck? I might as well fall all of the way. He'd been told every wizard feels like that at some point, that events that happen are the consequence of the wizardry, not something that would have happened anyway.
It was irrational, but that was the human heart for you. Impulsive. Impetuous. Ignorant.
Times like that, he would tell himself sharply that the Lone Power would be bringing death whatever he did, whoever he was, and it tended to strengthen his resolve to fight the cause, to be who he truly was. When it came down to it, the theory of losing your wizardry and returning to a normal ignorant life was a possible notion at times, but the actuality of breaking your oath and giving it all up was something different. Kit didn't want to feel the sorrow and hollowness of a gift given up for all the wrong reasons, and that's what wizards became after giving up their power, or rejecting it in the first place - hollow shells of grief.
The only problem was when wizards became hollow shells of grief.
Kit had been desperately arguing with himself whether to approach Nita or not, but the manual said even wizards must let grief run its full course, and he knew approaching him by herself, only if she wanted to, was a big key to her coming to terms with normal life again. He remembered how she had retreated a little at Fred's death, and at Ed's and now, with her mother gone… Nita wasn't so much retreating from herself, but running at full pelt away.
The trouble was, when Nita wasn't there, he was worried. He scared himself half to death most of the time nowadays, and covered it up by sticking to a strict routine. Sometimes dependency and consistency were what people needed, and was what Nita had needed right now. Something stable that wouldn't change.
He wouldn't change. He wouldn't frighten her off by doing something 'out of character' or reckless.
No matter how much he wanted to.
When Nita had shown up on his doorstep, Kit had again been worried; not so much for Nita's well-being this time, but for their partnership. If she rejected it, like he'd been so scared she would after the sullen cloud of grief that welled around her uncontrollably, he knew he'd crumple and be destroyed too.
It scared him how much he depended on her being there.
He had no need to worry. Despite her obvious internal struggles as to whether he would accept her again, (which had surprised Kit greatly, although he hadn't shown it outwardly), Nita had come, and now, beyond anything he could have imagined, they were on active status and finally doing some wizardry together.
It was just as he remembered. Their cadence, tone, pitch and speed had matched perfectly, but somewhere in their calculations they'd been minutely off, as Kit didn't remember setting the point of arrival so he'd arrive with a splash in the stucco koi pool, with Nita standing by it, perfectly dry, and hiding her face behind her hand as she giggled.
He struggled out of it with a scowl, and Nita graciously spoke the few words that would dry his clothes off, but he was left with his hair plastered to his head. He also pulled a few things out of his hair that he did not want to even think about.
Kit glowered at his partner. "What was that for?"
"Sorry," Nita said lightly, unable to keep the grin off her face. "You were just so intently checking over my name, I couldn't resist changing your arrival point by a meter or two."
Kit scowled, but didn't say anything, merely shaking his head to dry his hair a bit and remorselessly splashing Nita as he did so. Nita pulled a face, and stepped back, but didn't try anything retaliatory. Kit cast a glance around them finally, frowning a little.
"What's wrong?" Nita put her head to one side and stared at Kit.
Kit took a long look at the garden, then back at the house.
"I don't know, but I think something is terribly wrong." Kit said, biting his lip while Nita shrugged her shoulders at him. "There's nothing in the garden," he explained finally. Nita blinked at him confusedly. "Honestly, Neets, you'd think you hadn't been here for a year. There are no animals here."
Nita's mouth slowly dropped open and she shut it quickly. "Serious," she said lightly. Kit nodded, and jogged lightly up to the back door, rapping on it with his knuckles. He stepped back, arms folded over his chest, and turned his head to see Nita staring at the door quizzically. He tapped his foot for a second, and was just about to try again when the door clicked open and the familiar face of Tom Swale appeared at the door. He blinked at them for a second, looking incredibly tired and frustrated, and Kit worried that he'd interrupted him in the middle of more inspiration when he noticed the man's face was a little reddened, as if he'd been crying.
Not judging anything at all, Kit exchanged a quick glance with Nita, and turned to Tom. "Uh… we're here on errantry, and we greet you," Kit said, feeling a little stupid, until Tom straightened up and looked a tiny bit happier.
"You'd better come in," Tom said quickly, his gaze flicking to Nita before he stood back and let them both in.
Kit followed Tom, feeling Nita follow and close the door behind her, and they followed Tom into the large living room of the house Tom shared with his wizardry partner Carl. Tom sank into one of the worn-looking sofas, and Nita and Kit sat gingerly on the arm chairs facing him. Nita found it hard not to feel scared. She'd never seen Tom looking anything like this before. Normally he was so upbeat, so on top of the game…
"You two are on active?"
The abrupt question startled Kit, and he nodded. "Yes. Sometime in this last hour."
Tom's shoulders visibly sagged, and he looked at them with a weary, empty gaze that made Nita feel like crying again. She fought back the tears that were always, somehow, on the brink of falling. "I see," he said eventually. His voice quieted so much that the two strained to hear him. "I guess They thought you were the ones best suited to find him, I mean, with you two working together again, it's a relief and—"
"Him?" Nita broke in, interrupted Tom's apparent babbling. Nita was officially freaked now, she'd never seen Tom so flustered and out of control.
Kit put one hand on her arm to stop her from saying anything more, and Nita frowned at Kit in incomprehension. Kit nodded slowly at her as she got what had happened, and she felt the spinning sensation of falling again.
"What happened to Carl, Tom?" Kit's voice was firm but gentle, and Nita caught a hint of wizardry in his tone as well. He was obviously thinking through the words and structure of the spell, and she caught the slight tension being released. Tom leaned back a little on the seat, his entire posture relaxing just that little bit. Tom must be seriously out of action if he didn't even reprimand Kit for the use of wizardry on a Senior.
"He's gone." Tom looked as if he himself couldn't believe the words. "I.. I… just woke up this morning, came down, expecting him to be bashing up the toaster, or breaking the cooker, and he… wasn't there."
Nita's head span at the implication of the words, and she flicked open her manual to Carl's entry, and lump forming heavy in her chest at the words next to his Status. Missing…
Tom looked off into the distance, at some unfixed point above their heads and he struggled to speak for a moment; finally looking down and again and fixing them with a pleading look. "You have to find him, you have to, and you're the ones chosen for this… I wish . . . But . . ." He looked away again. "I'm obviously not right for this job… This is all my fault… If I was just that little bit stronger, I'd be able to find him, stop him from disappearing, I'd --"
"There wasn't anything you could do," Nita broke in firmly, her tone strident and unyielding, and Tom stopped, staring at her in amazement. "We'll find him. I promise. If it was Kit or I that were missing, I know, if you and Carl were the ones on errand to find us, I know you would move heaven and earth to find us. You have to know we'd do the same."
There was a muted silence in the room as Tom looked gratefully at Nita, his face still tensed up with the sudden grief and fear.
"Do you have . . . any idea where he could be?" Kit asked gingerly, not wanting to upset the normally-level-headed writer and pillar of the community.
Tom frowned in recollection, and Kit was still unnerved by the sight of someone he'd thought could be unruffled through anything, suddenly devastated by his wizardry partner going missing. He abruptly wondered how he'd react if Nita had ever gone missing, and swallowed the thought suddenly. By the look in Nita's eyes, she'd had the same thought, and the thought scared both of them. Nita found herself flicking to the directory again, going to Tom's entry this time, and feeling a different kind of sadness flooding her mind when she saw that his status was Senior, inactive. It seemed to be an eternity when she'd felt sadness other than the dragging ache she'd been carrying since she'd realized she couldn't do what the Lone Power offered, and it gave a spark of more life to her emotions. Pain came in all shapes and colors, and it seemed she wasn't color-blind to pain as much as she'd thought she was.
"No."
"Right." Kit folded his hands, business-like, in front of him; resting them on top of his manual. "Starting tonight, I'm going to do some tracking, see if I can track down where he's been. Neets, will you take with Dari? She may not be active, but she'll have contacts. Maybe, if he's been anywhere in Europe, Aunt Annie can help." Kit didn't smile or anything, but the sudden impish look dancing in his eyes warmed Nita again. They did seem to share their relatives still, even if some of their friends weren't inclusive in the deal. "We'll be back tomorrow, about lunch time, with what we've got so far."
"We'll be back with the info and pizza," Nita added, sharing a quick glance with Kit. "You like Pepperoni?"
Tom pulled a face. "I don't really feel like eating --" he started. Kit frowned.
"We'll stop that attitude right there," Kit responded. "I'll send over some bagels in the morning. And if I find you've given them to your dogs, I won't be happy… And Carl will kick your ass around a bit too, if he finds out you tried to starve yourself."
"I haven't been starv—" Tom started, then flushed guiltily as Nita looked archly at the uneaten sandwiches on the table. "Sorry. I've been a little preoccupied," he defended. He bit his lip and looked away. "If you must bring pizza, meetza. And none of that thin, crispy Italian stuff."
Nita grinned. "Deep dish it is."
Kit tried to keep his face straight, but was still too stunned in the entirety of the thing. 'Carl missing… Even the thought of Nita missing makes my flesh crawl, and we're nowhere as close as Tom and Carl…'
"Right," Kit said, finally deciding. "You're going to hate me in the morning, but I need to do this, Tom." Nita felt again the hum of wizardry in the air, and she silently added a little of her own power to Kit's buzz of activity. "Sleep well."
Tom didn't even have time to fight it. Kit let the spell go, and Tom gracelessly fell in a heap on the sofa, asleep.
"Kit!" Nita exclaimed in shock, as Kit got up and pulled a blanket over the sleeping wizard.
"He needs the sleep. I know interfering with sleep patterns isn't good, but I think he needs one dreamless night of sleep to get things into perspective," Kit explained, hands akimbo as he looked down worriedly at Tom. "I think we'd better get home before it starts getting light again."
Nita frowned again, confused at Kit's word, before she glanced out the window and into the sky above, stretching and swirling away in a maelstrom of emptiness dotted with thousands specks of lights… 'Only it isn't empty,' Nita thought with wonder, 'it's filled with billions of lifeforms, each trying to survive and keep going without drowning in sorrow and grief at the entropy that plagues life.'
'It doesn't make you feel so alone,' a voice inside her head added, and Nita blinked, knowing it wasn't her own thought. She turned, wide-eyed, to look at Kit, and realized it was him speaking inside her head.
"I hadn't realized I'd thought it 'out-loud'," Nita said, with a small blush flooding her cheeks again.
Kit shrugged ruefully. "Sometimes you can't help it. Like when you were in Ireland --"
Nita felt the full flood of embarrassment then. "Hey, you were the one that peeked, mister," she said, desperately trying to cover up her own awkwardness. "Besides, I don't even know if what was happening was me, or the Powers interfering… It was a very confusing time!"
Kit didn't respond immediately, and Nita felt a small spike of emotion coming from him which was gone too quickly for to analyze. "You didn't seem all that confused to me," he said finally, prompting Nita to slap his arm lightly.
"Yeah, right," Nita responded in disbelief. "Whatever you say, El Niño."
Kit flushed in mortification. "I thought you said you weren't going to call me that again!"
"No, you said I wasn't," Nita replied, raising her eyebrows and ducking backwards and Kit made to mock-punch her. He finally held up both of his hands in a defensive sign of a truce.
"I'll notify you if I get hold of something useful," Kit said. "See you here, in the morning, seven-ish?"
Nita pulled a face at the time. "I guess. It is a school day, but…" She sighed, and dropped her arms to her sides. "OK. Unless something else comes up, and I'll get in contact." Feeling the faint tension in the room again, Nita watched as Kit waved and disappeared with a soft pop. Sighing, she crossed her arms over her stomach, and cast a glance back to Tom, who was in a heap on the sofa. Is this where depending on your partner too much got you?
Nita considered the thought, then dropped it. The two didn't need to depend on each other for their wizardry - both were strong enough to be Seniors on their own. The fact they were chosen together wasn't so much their wizardry required, it was the human side that needed. She felt herself uncomfortably paralleling her dad and Tom right at this moment, and felt a bitter flash of jealousy. 'At least Tom knows Carl will come back, he's not permanently… gone…'
That treacherous thought made a tiny bit of her brain rarely heard pipe up. 'But Tom doesn't know if Carl is ever coming back or not… All he knows it that, when he wakes up, Carl won't be there.'
Feeling a stony shiver course through her, Nita took a deep breath and irrationally tried to pull away from the sharp thoughts in her mind, mingling together and causing havoc. This was all bigger than she was, much, much bigger . . . Feeling tears spill down her cheeks relentlessly, she let them fall, just this once knowing she wasn't alone in her pain, and, for once, seeing a light at the end of the very long tunnel of her own sorrow.
When the hot flood had stopped burning her cheeks and splashing on the carpet, Nita rubbed her eyes with her sleeve, and tried to get herself into gear. This was what her wizardry could be used for. For Life's sake. Just like the oath said. She wouldn't let others suffer the same pain as her for long if she could help it.
Summoning up her strength, Nita formulated the spell in her mind and let go.
Dairine was used to strange occurrences in her life. Dawson Creek getting a new series, even though it positively smelt of something pulled out in a Saurian's rectal examination. Boy bands still being so popular. The new Star Wars films sucking. 'Well,' Dairine added absent-mindedly, 'except Yoda.'
One of her greatest ambitions in life was to get a light saber, at least a toy one, but although she left plenty of hints at Christmas time and around her birthday, one never materialized.
She wasn't particularly surprised about that too, come to think about it.
She had been shocked that she had given wizardry. She had wanted it so much, ever since Nita and Kit had let her know it was real, it was alive, it actually happened… Nothing much after that surprised her.
Well, her Aunt Annie and a familiar-looking boy just appearing in the living room as she was carrying through a large bowl of bacon-flavored chips through to watch The Cosby Show surprised her, causing her to spill the chips to the floor, but then, it wasn't an everyday occurrence.
After stuttering, Dairine had muttered a few words and the chips flipped back up into the bowl. Her learning the speech manually had been Nita's idea a couple of weeks ago, something Dairine suspected her sister thought she could distract her with, but it had come in handy. Especially since that conversation she'd had with a squirrel which convinced it to stop chewing at her window sill . . .
The second strange occurrence was Nita, appearing in, flushed, about a minute after her Aunt and the kid arrived. Now Dairine was stunned. Stunned into complete silence, an event which had only happened three times to date so far.
Nita stood there, looking from her sister, to her Aunt and to the long-haired teenager standing next to her, and she felt her mouth drop open. "Wha—how—Auntie Annie? Ronan?"
"And, here's Nita, showing her usual level of articulacy," Dairine broke in, finally finding her tongue and putting to the chips to one side so she could bounce and hug her Auntie. Nita watched the embrace, half in disbelief, half in amusement, before feeling her face flush queerly when she noticed Ronan hanging there silently, hands in his pocket and doing what only Nita could describe as 'brooding.'
"Auntie Annie," Nita said quickly, feeling a little winded. Annie looked at her, then quickly pushed forwards to support Nita. Feeling faint, Nita dropped to the couch, and Dairine and Annie were holding her by the elbows before she realized what had happened. "Sorry. Two big transits in one day after barely doing anything. I'll be fine."
Annie frowned back at her, stormy grey eyes clouded with thought.
"So, why you here, anyway?"
Nita looked at Dairine sharply. Her smart brat of a sister still didn't have the tact thing down, yet.
"I don't know." Annie looked up at her youngest niece, and ruffled Dairine's hair a little. Dairine scowled, but she didn't move away. "I was just told we were needed here."
"Well, I don't see why," Dairine declared, before looking sharply at Nita and groaning. "Oh man," Dairine said, looking at Nita's expression and turning around. Ignoring her chips completely, she clicked her fingers and a scuttling sound was heard. Dairine smiled tolerantly as her laptop crawled up the armchair and into her hands, and she flipped up the screen, fingers sliding gracefully over the keyboard. "That's not fair!"
Nita pulled a wry face, while Annie looked confused.
"What's not fair?" Annie straightened, and Nita felt a little unsteady again, but another hand kept her steady. She risked a small glance to see Ronan supporting her left elbow, and felt uncomfortably stupid again. With Kit it was easy to say something even while feeling mortified, how come she went into a jumbled heap whenever Ronan was there?
"She's not on errantry, we are," Nita said quickly, pulling away from her thoughts and feeling more weary than before. Dairine narrowed her eyes at Nita in disappointment. "Well, you did overwork yourself rescuing GIGO and the crew…"
"'Spose," Dairine said, a little disgruntled as she collapsed into the chair and began scanning through some of the new documents that had helpfully popped up on Spot's screen.
"What's wrong, Nita?"
These were the first words Ronan had said since his arrival, and the familiar throaty Irish accent made Nita a little dizzy again, although it could have been her tiredness. Annie dropped back to sit down next to Nita, and took her niece's hand supportively.
"It's Carl."
She had no opportunity to say the rest of her statement straight away. Dairine was on her feet, eyes blazing.
"What's happened to Carl?"
"He's… missing…" Nita explained, shrugging helplessly and slumping on the seat. The firm pressure of Ronan's grip stopped, and he moved his arm away, looking from one Callahan to the other and getting more confused by the other.
"Missing?" Dairine shrieked, her hands flying over the keyboard confidently, and her face paled as she brought up the directory. "Crap."
"Dairine, language," Nita warned, more of a reflex action than of a repulsion at her sister's language. Having frequently used words worse than that, it would have been a bit hypocritical to actually mean it.
Dairine pulled a sulky face. "I can't believe I'm still on hiatus," she muttered sourly, scrolling to the other entries in the directory. "For this case, though . . . Ronan, Annie, Nita, Kit . . . You're the only four on errantry?" Her tone softened immediately, and she sat, muted, seeming somewhat smaller than she actually was. Considering Dairine's close-to-Yoda sizing, (and close-to-Yoda power, come to think of it, Nita thought ruefully) this was quite a feat. "Tom isn't on errantry?"
Nita shook her head slowly.
"This must be killing him." Dairine, sharp as ever, understood the whole situation better than most, and sunk her face into her hands. "Powers . . ."
Annie's face was in shadow, and she looked troubled. "With one Senior out of action, we can't lose another one . . . Damn . . ."
"So, no one has any idea where he is?" Ronan frowned, shifting uncomfortably. Nita shook her head. "I suppose we should do some investigating . . ."
"Kit's doing some scans, some wizardry, to see what he can find that way," Nita offered.
Ronan pulled a wry face. "I'm not used to being able to do as much as you need to straight away," he said awkwardly. "I meant more asking neighbors if they'd seen them, go to his place of work and ask around…"
"Good idea." Annie looked around at the living room. "Where's—"
"Dad's upstairs," Dairine offered, "pretending to sleep so I won't keep plastering cocoa onto him."
"Don't you mean so you won't keep giving him cocoa?" Nita asked, curiously, as Annie excused herself to go see her brother.
Dairine winced. "I'm sure that was what I meant to do, but after I spilled the first two, he wasn't exactly enthusiastic." She frowned at her sister, then flickered a glance to Ronan, before getting to her feet and yawning exaggeratedly. "Well, I'm beat. I'm going to bed, 'k? Night, Neets."
Before Nita could say anything, Dairine had walked out of the room, Spot scuttling after her furiously.
Nita turned back to Ronan with a shrug, taking in the teenager nervously. He'd grown some more, and was taller than even Kit was after his growth spurt. His hair was just as unmanageable, and his clothes sense hadn't changed much either. She floundered for something to say, a little winded by his presence, and was saved by her stomach growling at her. Ronan hid a smile behind his hand, and Nita excused herself quickly to the kitchen to grab the casserole Dairine had saved for her. Picking up the oven gloves, she lifted up the plate keeping warm in the oven and slid it onto one of the mats on the table. Turning to search for a fork or something, Nita came face to face with Ronan and almost fell over in shock.
"Did I scare you?" Ronan leant back against one of the counters, arms folded and an amused grin on his face. Nita flushed and muttered something unintelligible, turning away and pulling a drawer open to get a fork out.
"A little," Nita returned, unsure of what to say. He unnerved her all the time. Nita felt a shock as she realized exactly why she'd been… attracted… to him in the first place. He did shock her, he wasn't like anyone else she'd ever met, and maybe… Maybe she liked being caught off-guard… "Uh, did you want something to eat?"
Ronan shook his head. "No. I'm not all that hungry. It's like two in the morning for me still."
Nita sat at the table, pulling the edge of the mat to bring the food closer. The two transit spells had used all of the energy she'd gotten from the hotdogs, and she realized as she smelled in the thick, meaty smell of the casserole that she was starving. "Oops. Forgot the time difference." Nita rolled her eyes at her own stupidity, and took a forkful of the gravy and meat meal. Sniffing at it cautiously, she chewed on the meat and watched as Ronan took the dining room chair opposite her.
"Yeah." Ronan folded his hands on the table, playing with the pepper shaker idly. "This is my second time on errantry."
Nita looked up from her food, and her mouth dropped open. "Really?" Ronan nodded, and Nita shook herself sharply. With the overlays, much wizardry was impossible, so it was more likely for wizards in less cluttered wizardry areas to get more wizardly errands to run for the Powers.
"If you're here, you're needed." Nita pulled herself together enough to say the wizardry cliché, and then looked down at her meal, studying it and suddenly not feeling hungry any more. "I can't believe this is happening… It must hurt Tom so much . . ." she managed to say before feeling her eyes prick with tears. 'Again? How many times must this happen . . . and now . . .'
Ronan watched her quietly, as tears began to leak out from Nita's eyes again and splash unhindered onto the table below. In a typical spontaneous move, he slid round the table before enveloping Nita in a sharp hug. Instead of pulling away, Nita collapsed, a tearful wreck in her own distress. It might as well have been a complete stranger holding onto her, stopping her from falling, all she could feel was that the sorrow building up inside her had burst like a dam, and she couldn't stop it. She didn't even notice when Kit appeared with a soft pop! in the kitchen, looking worried.
Ronan noticed, though, and looked up at Kit with a quiet, serious expression that made Kit stop in surprise. Kit glanced at Nita, an uncontrollable mass of tears and anguish, and a small frown came on his face before he realized Nita was actually comfortable. Safe. Something else no one else could apparently give her. Swallowing down the lump in his throat, Kit offered Ronan a tentative smile of peace and a nod, all the while feeling like his heart was going to break, and Ronan understood him in that second. He nodded at Kit, grateful for Kit stepping back and going for Nita's best interests, despite how much it hurt him in the process. Even though he apparently had Kit's approval, though, Ronan was more than a little disturbed and shaken—about what had happened to him, to Nita, to them all in the long struggle—and how much Nita had been destroyed. He wondered if he was the right one who could bring her back, and in that moment realized that—if Kit's judgment of the situation was too seriously clouded with—and Ronan laughed inwardly at how badly the word was used to describe it—concern for his wizardry partner—then he would step back. For Nita. From the look in Kit's eyes at that moment, the dark intense gaze filled with an anguish and pain that soared to the heights Nita's sorrow and grief did, then that was what they were both there for. For Nita, and for Tom, and for all them.
For Life's sake . . .
Nita didn't seem to show any sign of stopping any time soon, and Ronan wondered if he'd have to give up his claim to fight for Nita's affection so early in the game. 'Or maybe I'm already out of the game . . .' Shaking off the thought, he jerked his head, indicating for Kit to take over. Surprised, Kit moved over, sliding into the chair and letting Nita collapse against him, while Ronan stalked over to the sink and splashed himself with water. Turning, he saw Kit holding Nita tightly, by her shoulder and elbow, holding her like she was going to escape and fly away if he let go.
"Nita."
Nita heard the soft word spoken through her thoughts, and felt someone else's sleeve wiping her tears away and she knew then it was Kit who had taken over. For a second she lay still, resting her head against his shoulder, before sitting up and feeling infinitely more stupid than she had before as she glanced over at Ronan. He was casually leaning against the table, and looking more than a little ruffled. Looking back at Kit apologetically, she noticed she'd soaked his shirt through.
"Sorry about the . . . wet . . ." Nita mumbled.
"Not a problem," Kit said with a grin, pushing himself to his feet and standing next to the sink.
Nita sighed in relief, and cast an apologetic glance to Ronan.
"I can't seem to stop crying nowadays. I'm sorry you two have to see it."
"Not a problem," Ronan replied, echoing Kit. "I'd rather be here than not."
Nita smiled weakly up at Ronan, then felt Kit's gaze on her. Flicking a glance at her partner, she was more than surprised when Kit and Ronan looked at each other, briefly knowing and understanding each other perfectly.
Kit started suddenly, looking back at Nita to see her looking curiously from him to Ronan, a little bewildered and still tired. "I can't stay long," he said quickly. "Mama's expecting me home soon, and she saved me some Korma." Kit pulled a small face and Nita wrinkled her nose in sympathy. "I did a scan for him, and I thought you should know."
"Know what?"
Kit looked up to see Dairine in the doorway; Annie holding the youngest Callahan wizard by the shoulders protectively.
"I had the circle half completed for a scan, in a safety pocket somewhere, just in case I'd need it, one of this solar system. And—" He shifted uncomfortably.
"And?" Nita prompted, her heart in her throat, and she felt like crying again only there weren't any more tears to come. She felt Ronan come sit next to her again, rather than seeing it, and felt that rush of insecurity again. She speculated distractedly whether it was the anxiety she felt around him that was what she craved, or if she was running from her own normal stability, before focusing back on the case in hand.
Kit shuffled again.
"And—" He took a deep breath. "Carl isn't in it. Anywhere."
"But . . ." Nita frowned. "He's probably in another dimension, or galaxy, or . . ."
Kit cut her off abruptly. "No, that's not what I mean. I mean—it says Carl has never even been in this solar system."