Disclaimer: *gasp* I am actually changing it! Right I still haven't worked out a way to legally steal ideas or imaginary places so Valdemar is still safely in the hands of Mercedes Lackey… But my characters are mine … all mine!
A/N I think I forgot to do this so I am now going to obsess with the horse show (Morgan Grand National & World Championship in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma) that I went to over harvest. If you don't care (which you probably don't) you can skip this A/N (which you have probably a) already learned to do with my a/n's b) stopped reading by now if ur gonna) but anyway the show was awesome. We had to leave a day early so we missed the absolute best classes of the show and our colt's championship class. Our stud colt (Spirit, my sister named him after the Disney horse) has only been in training seriously for about a month and he got third against horses who have been training for 2 years straight so that was awesome. And we got a new trainer who is a) married with children b) loves his wife and kids c) doesn't look at my little sister like a foreign object and say "oh, she picks flowers" as if shocked d) isn't gay e) doesn't go to the bars f) does go to IHOP after evening classes with whichever clients are going g) is a Christian. Anyway I LOVE our new barn 'Grove Point Stable ltd.' It rules… not all the ribbons were blue/championship ones, but that was cool too 'cause as long as the horse/rider performed well people were content! Imagine that… anyway, the show rocked… but back to the story you are actually here to read… (after much consideration I arbitrarily decided that Azori would be funnier POV for this chap)
Cymon had arranged through Savannah to meet me in the companion's stable. Neutral ground, but it was out of the way to avoid public involvement. I arrived late, but even so I had to wait half a candle-mark for Cye to show up. Savannah kept assuring me that he would in fact come, but I had my doubts. It was well into my second week at the collegium and I had by then figured out that he was putting a great deal of energy into avoiding me.
When he finally did arrive Cymon dashed in out of breath and red-faced, with his harp case under his arm.
"Oh," he said stopping suddenly and looking at me as if he were surprised to find me there. I had known this was a bad idea. Forcing him to meet with me had definitely been a bad move on Savannah's part. Making an elder mad was not high on my list of priorities; it only brought trouble.
:He is barely your elder Azi, and he isn't mad, more flustered and jealous, and that is my fault not yours.:
So the companion admitted to a fault, I stored that away for later use. How could Savannah be responsible for a bard holding me at arm's length?
"Sorry I'm late, I thought you might have gotten mad and left by now…" he said scuffing a toe.
I translated that to he hoped I would have left, "No such luck," I didn't explain that I had only stayed because skipping a meeting of any sort for any reason was frowned upon by the mage. No one here cared about the mage and his rules, I had figured that much out, it was harder to follow suit though. Much as I might like to trust the heralds I still felt uneasy around their pristine white uniforms, and even if I wanted to join in the conversations of my fellow trainees, barging in on them would have been dangerous back home so I still couldn't bring myself to contribute here. Besides I was just waiting for them to catch me breaking some little unknown rule and descend on me with punishments and tell me that the rest had all been a joke and everything was really still the same as it had been with the mage.
That hadn't happened yet, and the twins continued to insist that it wouldn't, though not in so many words.
"Yeah," the fact that he didn't dispute my wording proved he really had hoped to miss me, "well, I suppose we ought to meet at some point…"
"Why?" I asked not really sure at all about the necessity of this meeting. The twins insisted that I had been chosen like any other herald trainee who had ever been chosen, and the he hadn't been.
"Well, Savannah and I were close before she chose you, and that healer who worked on you when you first came in…"
"What about him," I prompted after a moment of uncomfortable silence. Cymon fidgeted.
"He was trying to heal you, did they tell you about the first thing he tried?"
I shook my head, doubting it was anything good. It obviously hadn't worked what ever he had tried.
"Well, what he wanted to do was drain off some of the bad memories and replace them with good ones … so essentially he patched together some flattering stuff about Savannah from my memories and traded them with memories of what happened to you."
"Oh," was the only appropriate response that came to mind. What else was there to say, "So I guess that means I don't need to explain why I act like a paranoid, ungrateful, frightened, little wimp?"
Cymon shrugged and blushed, "I never said you acted like that."
"No, but you've heard it, and agreed, right?"
He bit his lip and shook his head; "Anybody would be paranoid after being trained by a blood path mage. I'm shocked you're dealing with everything as well as you are quite frankly."
"Really?" I arched an eyebrow at that.
:He's not lying chosen, he's told me as much before. If that mage weren't already dead he would be the first one to leave in the attempt to hunt him down!:
:You assume that I care…: I grumped disagreeably.
"Yes, really," here he took a deep breath and I wasn't sure whether he would continue or not, "look, I've been avoiding you for a reason."
"I'd be glad to know what that is," I replied truly surprised that he was the one bringing that up.
"I am insanely jealous of you."
I was rather stunned by that. What did he have to be jealous of me for? Then I was worried, the key word, insanely, did not help me to trust in my safety alone in a barn with him.
:You aren't alone!: Savannah broke in indignantly before I could actually panic, :Stop worrying and talk to him, this needs to be resolved.:
"Why?" I said dully.
"You have Savannah. I wanted her. Being a herald, being her herald has been my dream since before I could walk, but you get that, not me! You have the only thing I really ever wanted … and you deserve it."
"Deserve it?" I asked surprised anew at each statement. This perfectly happy potential bard, who played well enough after less than a year of training to enchant every companion in the field, was jealous of me. He wanted the big pushy white nuisance who I felt continually harassed by. I would have traded with him in an instant. It was far easier to get lost in a beautiful piece of music than to deal with another living creature. I had already come to the conclusion that companions were infinitely more irritating than regular people when they got a notion. Or worse yet, a plan.
"Yes deserve it. I saw what you did remember?"
"I never did anything!" I protested vehemently.
"How can you say that?" he asked, shocked.
"I never tried to get away, or to stop any of what the mage did, to me or anyone else. I never helped the others, and I could have. If I had wanted to I could have allowed almost every slave the mage owned to escape. I could have at least used what he taught me to help them, heal their hurts and the like, but I didn't. I didn't do anything," I asserted.
"You survived …" he trailed off.
"That isn't good enough," I said firmly.
:And that is why you were chosen!: Savannah cried.
"You ought to listen to her," Cymon said idly.
"You heard her?" I asked glaring up at him questioningly, "no one else admits to hearing what she says."
He shrugged self-consciously, "I've got mind-speech, and she's my friend, so sometimes we talk, and when she wants I can hear her."
"Oh," I said contemplating, "And you would advise listening to her?"
He nodded, "Anytime a companion speaks his … or her, herald should listen. And if you ever have a problem, or a big decision to make, ask her specifically for advise. They are notorious for withholding information they aren't specifically asked for," he said the last with a rueful grin.
"I'll think about that. Are you still jealous of me?"
"Yes, I can't help it … I think I'm alright with it, but then I'll see the two of you together and I just get mad. It would be best if I stay out of things with both of you. Break off all ties and the like," I could see the effort it cost him to say that, but I wasn't about to argue with him.
"If that's what you want then I will try to make that easy for you," I plastered on a fake smile, "that way we can both avoid eachother."
That elicited a weak grin. Cymon looked as if he wanted to add something, but then he shrugged, placed a familiar hand on Savannah's forehead. A moment passed in which I am sure they exchanged words, and then he was gone. Savannah looked after him as if she wanted to follow, but in the end she tore her eyes off of his departing back and turned to me.
:That was not how I had hoped this would turn out.: was all she would say no matter how I pressed her. So I eventually was forced to retire to my rooms with the confrontation fresh in my mind.
I soon found other avenues for my thoughts though, because I was once again astounded at having my own room. That was my favorite part of the whole herald business. Duty was the mainstay of the heraldic life. I had little care for duty. Duty never got me anywhere except into trouble, I definitely agreed more with the hedonistic heraldic approach. Avoid pain and maximize pleasure at all costs. I was more into the avoidance than anything else. Simply living was enough pleasure for the moment.
I cleared my mind of circle-talking philosophies. Dismissing both notions as horribly flawed, I focused on my schoolwork.
A/N okay…. Now back to Cye!……..please review, please please review, please please please review………