How are you still alive?

The next morning - afternoon, really - Darry treated Soda, Sandy, and Aaron to breakfast at the Metro Diner. As they left the house, they could still hear Two-Bit and Pony arguing in the living room.

"Hey, I found the last bottle of beer you hid from me!" Two-Bit shouted.

"What bottle? I wasn't hiding any beer from you!" Pony retorted.

"Sure you were. You hid it in the shower and labeled it 'Brecks Shampoo,' remember?"

"Uh..?"

"And I'm not sure how you turned it all syrupy." Two-Bit looked menacingly toward Pony.

"YOU DRANK MY SHAMPOO?!"

"What? No! I drank MY beer. Moron. Man, my stomach hurts."

"Shocking," Pony commented sarcastically.

Darry shook his head. Two-Bit would never grow up.

Metro Diner wasn't a real popular place to go, so they were sure to be left alone. The diner was decorated to look like it was in 1950. Darry liked the place because they played Elvis a lot. The four of them ordered quickly and as soon as they finished their meals, Darry spoke up.

"Alright, Sandy, what's going on?"

"Short or long?"

"What? Oh. Short. Please," Darry added as an afterthought. Soda just stared. Darry saying please to someone? It was unheard of.

Sandy took a deep breath. She handed a dime to Aaron and told him to pick a song on the jukebox and go dance. Aaron took off as fast as he could. Sandy had done this with him before, it was sort of a signal to Aaron that he couldn't listen in. "Ok. I had slept with Soda." Darry glared pointedly at Soda. Soda just grinned and shrugged his shoulders. He looked like a kid that got caught stealing candy.

"...and then I cheated on him - I feel really terrible about that, Soda - after that, I just felt too guilty to sleep with Soda again, and when I found out I was pregnant, I just assumed it was from the last guy I was with...but... it obviously was Soda's. So I saved up all my money to come back." She turned to Soda,"I'm not trying to get you to take me back, I understand if you don't, honestly, I do, but I really want you to be a part of Aaron's life. He needs a father. I came to you because I knew you were my friend," Sandy pleaded.

Darry interrupted. "Sandy, do your parents know you're here - at all?"

Sandy shook her head, "No. I don't want them to either. They told me I had to get rid of Aaron or go live with my grandparents. They said they were ashamed to have me there, with their bastard grandson."

Soda's face was on fire, he was furious. "You're living with us now, got it?"

Sandy turned to Darry. "Is it okay?" she asked softly.

He nodded. "It would help out a lot if you got a job, to help out with food and bills."

"Oh, yeah, I would anyway."

Soda laid a few bills on the table to pay for the food, and they all piled into the car

(At the Curtis House)

Two-Bit suddenly looked out the window. "Hey, when did it turn daylight?"

Pony just laughed at him. "You do know it's like one o'clock right?"

Two-Bit stared back. "So that's why I'm so hungry."

"You wanna go outside or something?"

"Are there naked girls outside?"

"Probably not."

"Then why the hell would I want to go outside?!"

Ponyboy just shook his head and dragged Two-Bit out the front door.

(5 minutes later)

"All this walking around is starting to make me tired," Two-bit complained. .

"All this walking around? We've walked maybe a hundred feet!"

"Yes, but so much has happened! The escaped gorilla, the dinosaur, the legless albino kid...!"

"Two-Bit, none of that happened."

"Hey, look! A doggie! Here, doggie, doggie!"

"What the! That's not a dog, Two-Bit, that's a stick!"

"Stick, dog, whatever. Maybe it's a dog playing stick."

"Yeah, man, it's just playing stick. Right." Pony rolled his eyes.

"He's damn good at it, too," Two-Bit said, nudging the stick with his shoe. "Even growing leaves and whatnot. That's the mark of a truly talented doggie."

Pony started to walk off and Two-Bit ran to catch up. After a few minutes of silence, Two-Bit said, "I once fell asleep at the beach and then seagulls picked me up and carried me to a deserted island where I ate coconuts and met Gilligan and the whole gang. It was pretty crazy." He shoved his fists in his pockets.

Pony stared at him. "I think you're a coconut, Two-Bit..." he mumbled under his breath.

Two-Bit just laughed. "What was that, Ponyboy? You don't want to date my sister anymore? She'll be disappointed to hear the news!" Pony started swearing and tried to tackle the older boy. Two-Bit kept laughing. "Joke, man, it's a joke! Hey, let's go see Stevie, I heard he's working today."

When they reached the DX, Steve was enjoying the chance to finally have all the girls swarming around him instead of Soda. Two-Bit eyes a few of them appreciatively, then pushed through to talk to Steve. "Hey, Steve-o."

"Hey, loser."

"Where's Davey?"

"Who's Davey?" Steve demanded.

"Who? Or what?" Two-bit asked, lifting one eyebrow.

"What?!"

"Precisely!" Two-Bit flashed a grin at one of the girls and cupped his hands around his mouth. "Here, Davey, Davey!"

Steve shook his head. "What is wrong with you?"

Pony stepped in. "He drank my shampoo this morning. Thought I hid his beer and labeled it Berks."

Steve stared at Two-Bit in disbelief. "How are you still ALIVE?"

Suddenly, Soda came running up, still trying to button his work shirt. "Hey, Steve, sorry I'm running late. Oh, hey Pony, hey Two-Bit." Two-Bit waved.

"Nothing unusual, Sodypop. So what's the lame excuse this time?"

"Ah, Darry took me and Sandy and Aaron to eat at Metro, over by T.U."

Steve glowered at him.

"Sandy's gonna be living with us, I dunno until when."

Steve blew up. "Why the hell are you taking her back after what she did to you??"

"Relax, Steve. I said she's living with us. I didn't say I'm sleeping with her. And I want to be around Aaron, anyways. I like the kid. Even if he wasn't mine, I'd like him. He's a good kid, and I'd like to see him stay that way. I don't know what's gonna happen with Sandy and me, I haven't decided. Two-Bit! What the hell are you doing?"

Two-Bit was standing by a stack of tires, pounding his fist in his hand. Soda walked over to him and watched him for a few minutes. "1...2...3..." Two-Bit mumbled and broke apart his fist into a scissors shape on "3." "I don't know what's sadder, Two-Bit, the fact that you're playing rock-paper-scissors with a stack of tires, or the fact that you seem to be losing," Soda commented dryly.

Two-Bit accusingly pointed a finger at the tires, "He's cheating!" Soda shook his head. "Pony, take him to a shrink. He needs professional help, and I am not licensed to give it to him. See y'all at home tonight."

"Alright, Soda," Pony answered. "C'mon, Two-Bit, let's go back to my house."

"But, the walking!" Two-Bit moaned.

[a/n] Metro Diner is real but only since the 80s. Meh. T.U. is University of Tulsa. Anything that might remotely look like humor came from www.