Hiya!!! I'm back!!! Oh yeah!!! Today is the day Remy enters!!! Don't you
just love me? Oh yeah!!! Anyways, first off I am sorry to say that I will
be gone this weekend and I probably won't update until next weekend. I am
really sorry, but school is freakin' hard, and I think that the teachers
have ganged up on me, plus my English teacher is EVIL!!! Anyways, instead
of leaving you with anticipation, and you not being able to have any
chapters with Remy for a whole week, I will be nice and let you have one.
Here you go, a Remy chapter, and the best part is he gets to explode a car.
Yeah!!! And I know you will hate me if I give you a short chapter with
nothing in it, so I spent 2 hours on this for you. So you better not not
like it. Read on!!!
Disclaimer: I disclaim any ownership to X-Men: Evolution and Rush Hour, I only own myself. ^_^
************************************************************************ Now on with the fic:
Actions
Speaking
Who's speaking
(My usually sarcastic comments) ####################################################################
RUSH HOUR THE X-MEN WAY *$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$
RP: Where is the bullhorn? Sits down in director's chair and hears a loud crunch. Ah, there it is.it's broken!!! Whoever broke my bullhorn will pay!!!
Evan: shouldn't we start the scene?
RP: I don't know do you want to?
Evan: uh, yes!?
RP: OK!!! Lights?
Evan: sounds of electrical tampering are heard. Ray. A little help please?
Ray: Do I have to?
Evan: YEEEESSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ray: gulp Okay.
RP: I said, lights?
Ray: Check.
Evan: Check!
RP: Camera?
Sabertooth: Grrr, come on you stupid piece of junk. He kicks the camera. Ah, there we go. Check.
Evan: Check!
RP: Annnnnnd, Action!!! ************************************************************************ "America two months later" is what the screen says as we here a car horn beep and we see Remy as he drives a nice black convertible through heavy traffic.
Remy: Stupid fool, get the hell out of my way.
He cuts someone off and yells.
Remy: man are you crazy? Shit!
Random driver: You Moron.
Now Remy is pulling his car into the parking lot of a diner/donut shop. He parks his car right behind Fred, who is leaning against a car wearing sunglasses. Remy, who is also wearing sunglasses, gets out of his car and walks around the back of car and walks over to Fred. Fred takes his glasses off as Remy starts to talk.
Remy: Fred, what's up mon ami?
Fred: You're late.
Remy: Huh!?
Fred: You're Late.
Remy: Remy late!?
Fred: Yeah, you're late.
Remy: You're late mon ami. Remy has been waiting in back of the diner for over an hour man.
Fred: I was in the diner.
Remy: Mon ami, Remy told you, the back of the diner; you think Remy is going to do this shit out front? Mon ami, you crazy?
Fred: I was in the diner, you weren't in the diner.
Remy: Remy said the back of the diner- you know, it don't matter, Remy late, you late- it don't matter. Mon ami, come on let's do this- what's that? Is that a gun? Mon ami out that gun a way, how many people you gonna kill with this shit? stop it mon ami, come on let's do this.
Remy pats Fred's car's trunk's door.
Remy: come on, come on.
Fred: don't be late again.
Remy: Mon ami, Remy won't be late again, Come on. Come on.
Remy pats the trunk door again.
Fred finally opens the trunk of the car door as Remy takes his sunglasses off.
Remy: Well, What do we got here? Ooooooh, that's tight, that's beau, that's nice- what's that?
Fred: That's C-4. (C-4 is a type of explosive that can be made into bombs that go BOOM!!!)
Remy: That's C-4?
Fred: That's C-4.
Remy: Oh, shit.
Fred: What's the problem?
Remy: There ain't no problem, Remy has been looking everywhere for this shit.
Remy turns and hugs Fred.
Remy: Mon ami, how did you find some C-4? You don't know how you make me feel. The Iraqis can't even get this shit.
Screen moves over to a police car in front of the donut shop, and Todd and Kurt get out. (Kurt does have his image inducer on)
Screen moves back to Remy and Fred.
Remy: Where'd you get this from?
Fred: It's a hot ticket.
Screen switches again (what is it and screen switches?) to Kurt and Todd. Kurt gestures to Todd that he thinks something is going down with Remy and Fred.
Remy: You don't know how happy you made Remy, mon ami. You got what I want, I'm gonna get what you want. Come on, let's go get the money, mon ami.
Remy turns around, aiming to walk toward his car, but is interrupted by two policemen.
Kurt: Step away from the car.
Remy: Heeeeeyyyy, officers.
Screen switches (again, uhg!) to Fred, who still has his back towards Remy, Kurt, and Todd. Fred closes the trunk of the car and pulls a gun out of his coat pocket. Behind him, Remy and Kurt talk.
Kurt: Put your hands above your head.
Remy: What's wrong officers?
Kurt: Just do it now.
Remy: There ain't no problem here. What are you messing with Remy and him for?
Suddenly, Fred turns around, grabs Remy by the shoulder with one hand, and with the other points the gun at Remy's head. (Now we all know Remy could take Fred out, but this happens in the movie, so I guess it should happen here.)
Kurt and Todd pull their guns out and point them at Remy and Fred.
Todd: Okay, take it easy, yo. You don't want to do that.
Fred: shaking his head and has a very serious look (Yeah right) Oh, yes I do.
Remy: Oh no, he doesn't officer. He's just playing.
Fred: No, I ain't playing. He turns to look at Remy.
Remy: Yes, he is.
Fred: No, I'm not.
Remy: Yes, he. awwwwww.
Fred: I'm not playing.
Kurt: Drop the gun.
Remy: He's just playing mon ami, we were just talking. Come on, just get back in the car and just leave.
Todd: Can't do that, yo, alright.
Fred: I'm gonna blow his head all over the frigging parking lot, asshole. Get back in the car and get some donuts. (I wish I had some of those right now.)
Remy: See what you did now? You made him mad. Let me just talk to him, alright? Alright?
Suddenly, Remy turns around and sucker punches Fred in the jaw. (I'm cheering! Go Remy!!! Beat Fred's ass!!!)
Remy: Alright, alright. Now everything cool. He's down, the gun's down, now why don't you just get back in the car and just leave.
Todd: Put your hands on your head.
Remy: But everything cool officer.
Todd: do it now.
Remy just makes movements with his arms that they get out of there.
Todd looks over at Kurt and they both do the same questioning glance.
Remy makes more motions.
Fred is coming to his senses, and he picks up his gun. He fires two shots, one hits Kurt in the side, and the other hits Todd in the hand, making him drop his gun. Todd screams his trademark girly scream, and starts to whimper.
Remy rolls over a car with many oofs and ouches. Fred gets into his car, and starts to back out of the parking lot. All the while, Remy is shooting at Fred's car. (he is shooting a gun that has bullets, not flaming cards, even though that would be cool.) Fred backs into the police car.
Remy: to the police officers. Didn't Remy tell you to get in the car?
Fred starts to drive forward out into the street, and Remy shoots a hole in the back left wheel, blowing the tire completely off. The car goes careening off into traffic resulting in numerous accidents. Remy hops over his car to get a clear shot at Fred's car, and he starts to shoot at the car.
Fred: Yelling to Remy. Man, stop it I've got C-4 in the trunk.
Not heading Fred's warning, Remy keeps firing. Fred opens the door of the car and jumps out before Remy shoots one last shot, and the car explodes. BOOM!!! The car explodes trunk-first, lands on its top, and explodes in whole.
Remy: YEAH!!!
Remy does a weird, slightly disturbing dance in the street, before going over to Fred and pointing his gun at Fred.
Remy: Woohoo!!! Fred, guess what mon ami? Remy forgot to tell you, Remy is NOPD. (That is supposed to be New Orleans Police Department. It's supposed to be LAPD for Los Angeles, but hey, New Orleans is where Remy is from so why not?)
Then for emphasis, Remy flips back his jacket to reveal a police shield.
RP: Annndd that's a wrap. Okay people. Lets go home to eat dinner.
************************************************************************ Ahhh!!! Remy is a police officer!? Like that will ever happen. Pft. Oh well, I tried to work the parts out right, but it'll all work out in the end.
And now it's time for shout outs.drum roll.
todd fan: thanks for reviewing. And you should really get the movie, and while you're at it, get the sequel too (Rush Hour 2). Personally I think Rush Hour 2 is lots better, but Rush Hour is great too. I will also do a parody of Rush Hour 2, but it will probably be awhile until that one is out.
Disclaimer: I disclaim any ownership to X-Men: Evolution and Rush Hour, I only own myself. ^_^
************************************************************************ Now on with the fic:
Actions
Speaking
Who's speaking
(My usually sarcastic comments) ####################################################################
RUSH HOUR THE X-MEN WAY *$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$
RP: Where is the bullhorn? Sits down in director's chair and hears a loud crunch. Ah, there it is.it's broken!!! Whoever broke my bullhorn will pay!!!
Evan: shouldn't we start the scene?
RP: I don't know do you want to?
Evan: uh, yes!?
RP: OK!!! Lights?
Evan: sounds of electrical tampering are heard. Ray. A little help please?
Ray: Do I have to?
Evan: YEEEESSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ray: gulp Okay.
RP: I said, lights?
Ray: Check.
Evan: Check!
RP: Camera?
Sabertooth: Grrr, come on you stupid piece of junk. He kicks the camera. Ah, there we go. Check.
Evan: Check!
RP: Annnnnnd, Action!!! ************************************************************************ "America two months later" is what the screen says as we here a car horn beep and we see Remy as he drives a nice black convertible through heavy traffic.
Remy: Stupid fool, get the hell out of my way.
He cuts someone off and yells.
Remy: man are you crazy? Shit!
Random driver: You Moron.
Now Remy is pulling his car into the parking lot of a diner/donut shop. He parks his car right behind Fred, who is leaning against a car wearing sunglasses. Remy, who is also wearing sunglasses, gets out of his car and walks around the back of car and walks over to Fred. Fred takes his glasses off as Remy starts to talk.
Remy: Fred, what's up mon ami?
Fred: You're late.
Remy: Huh!?
Fred: You're Late.
Remy: Remy late!?
Fred: Yeah, you're late.
Remy: You're late mon ami. Remy has been waiting in back of the diner for over an hour man.
Fred: I was in the diner.
Remy: Mon ami, Remy told you, the back of the diner; you think Remy is going to do this shit out front? Mon ami, you crazy?
Fred: I was in the diner, you weren't in the diner.
Remy: Remy said the back of the diner- you know, it don't matter, Remy late, you late- it don't matter. Mon ami, come on let's do this- what's that? Is that a gun? Mon ami out that gun a way, how many people you gonna kill with this shit? stop it mon ami, come on let's do this.
Remy pats Fred's car's trunk's door.
Remy: come on, come on.
Fred: don't be late again.
Remy: Mon ami, Remy won't be late again, Come on. Come on.
Remy pats the trunk door again.
Fred finally opens the trunk of the car door as Remy takes his sunglasses off.
Remy: Well, What do we got here? Ooooooh, that's tight, that's beau, that's nice- what's that?
Fred: That's C-4. (C-4 is a type of explosive that can be made into bombs that go BOOM!!!)
Remy: That's C-4?
Fred: That's C-4.
Remy: Oh, shit.
Fred: What's the problem?
Remy: There ain't no problem, Remy has been looking everywhere for this shit.
Remy turns and hugs Fred.
Remy: Mon ami, how did you find some C-4? You don't know how you make me feel. The Iraqis can't even get this shit.
Screen moves over to a police car in front of the donut shop, and Todd and Kurt get out. (Kurt does have his image inducer on)
Screen moves back to Remy and Fred.
Remy: Where'd you get this from?
Fred: It's a hot ticket.
Screen switches again (what is it and screen switches?) to Kurt and Todd. Kurt gestures to Todd that he thinks something is going down with Remy and Fred.
Remy: You don't know how happy you made Remy, mon ami. You got what I want, I'm gonna get what you want. Come on, let's go get the money, mon ami.
Remy turns around, aiming to walk toward his car, but is interrupted by two policemen.
Kurt: Step away from the car.
Remy: Heeeeeyyyy, officers.
Screen switches (again, uhg!) to Fred, who still has his back towards Remy, Kurt, and Todd. Fred closes the trunk of the car and pulls a gun out of his coat pocket. Behind him, Remy and Kurt talk.
Kurt: Put your hands above your head.
Remy: What's wrong officers?
Kurt: Just do it now.
Remy: There ain't no problem here. What are you messing with Remy and him for?
Suddenly, Fred turns around, grabs Remy by the shoulder with one hand, and with the other points the gun at Remy's head. (Now we all know Remy could take Fred out, but this happens in the movie, so I guess it should happen here.)
Kurt and Todd pull their guns out and point them at Remy and Fred.
Todd: Okay, take it easy, yo. You don't want to do that.
Fred: shaking his head and has a very serious look (Yeah right) Oh, yes I do.
Remy: Oh no, he doesn't officer. He's just playing.
Fred: No, I ain't playing. He turns to look at Remy.
Remy: Yes, he is.
Fred: No, I'm not.
Remy: Yes, he. awwwwww.
Fred: I'm not playing.
Kurt: Drop the gun.
Remy: He's just playing mon ami, we were just talking. Come on, just get back in the car and just leave.
Todd: Can't do that, yo, alright.
Fred: I'm gonna blow his head all over the frigging parking lot, asshole. Get back in the car and get some donuts. (I wish I had some of those right now.)
Remy: See what you did now? You made him mad. Let me just talk to him, alright? Alright?
Suddenly, Remy turns around and sucker punches Fred in the jaw. (I'm cheering! Go Remy!!! Beat Fred's ass!!!)
Remy: Alright, alright. Now everything cool. He's down, the gun's down, now why don't you just get back in the car and just leave.
Todd: Put your hands on your head.
Remy: But everything cool officer.
Todd: do it now.
Remy just makes movements with his arms that they get out of there.
Todd looks over at Kurt and they both do the same questioning glance.
Remy makes more motions.
Fred is coming to his senses, and he picks up his gun. He fires two shots, one hits Kurt in the side, and the other hits Todd in the hand, making him drop his gun. Todd screams his trademark girly scream, and starts to whimper.
Remy rolls over a car with many oofs and ouches. Fred gets into his car, and starts to back out of the parking lot. All the while, Remy is shooting at Fred's car. (he is shooting a gun that has bullets, not flaming cards, even though that would be cool.) Fred backs into the police car.
Remy: to the police officers. Didn't Remy tell you to get in the car?
Fred starts to drive forward out into the street, and Remy shoots a hole in the back left wheel, blowing the tire completely off. The car goes careening off into traffic resulting in numerous accidents. Remy hops over his car to get a clear shot at Fred's car, and he starts to shoot at the car.
Fred: Yelling to Remy. Man, stop it I've got C-4 in the trunk.
Not heading Fred's warning, Remy keeps firing. Fred opens the door of the car and jumps out before Remy shoots one last shot, and the car explodes. BOOM!!! The car explodes trunk-first, lands on its top, and explodes in whole.
Remy: YEAH!!!
Remy does a weird, slightly disturbing dance in the street, before going over to Fred and pointing his gun at Fred.
Remy: Woohoo!!! Fred, guess what mon ami? Remy forgot to tell you, Remy is NOPD. (That is supposed to be New Orleans Police Department. It's supposed to be LAPD for Los Angeles, but hey, New Orleans is where Remy is from so why not?)
Then for emphasis, Remy flips back his jacket to reveal a police shield.
RP: Annndd that's a wrap. Okay people. Lets go home to eat dinner.
************************************************************************ Ahhh!!! Remy is a police officer!? Like that will ever happen. Pft. Oh well, I tried to work the parts out right, but it'll all work out in the end.
And now it's time for shout outs.drum roll.
todd fan: thanks for reviewing. And you should really get the movie, and while you're at it, get the sequel too (Rush Hour 2). Personally I think Rush Hour 2 is lots better, but Rush Hour is great too. I will also do a parody of Rush Hour 2, but it will probably be awhile until that one is out.