Many thanks to Susan and Denise for their encouragement, support and editing.
The bills were laid in straight rows across the desk, but not in any particular order. Carolyn sighed in disgust as she eyed each one in turn, trying to tell herself that everything would be fine. Somehow all the bills would get paid and they still would have a little money for other things.
Sitting on the side beside the bills was the list of the other things, so many for the month of November. Jonathan's birthday, the Muirs wedding anniversary, Thanksgiving, Christmas coming up. Where was all the money going to come from?
Maybe this had been a bad idea. What made her think that she could actually pull this crazy idea off of living on her own without any help. Maybe she should just go back to Philadelphia and live off her in-laws, the way they wanted her too. "Stop thinking that way." she said aloud. "It's just a little set back, not the end of the world."
Glancing at the bills again, she tried to see if any of them could be paid later. The gas bill was already a month behind. They had to have gas, if they were to do any cooking or have hot water. Oil was an absolute necessity to keep the house warm. They needed the fireplaces even with the furnace so there could be no skimping on the oil.
"I could cancel the paper." she said to the glass of water sitting beside the typewriter. But that wouldn't help until next month, they were already into November and the bill was due. A phone was necessary when there were small children in the house. You never knew when there would be an emergency and help would need to be called. And electricity, lights were preferable. Maybe candles had been the way to go in the last century but in this one, lights were needed.
Idly she picked up the dry cleaning bill wondering if maybe she could manage to put it off at least for a couple more weeks. Dry cleaning was a necessary evil. Most of her clothes required it, and since they did need to last her for quite awhile she needed to keep them nice. Robert had always insisted that she look her best in any occasion and had encouraged her to buy outfits of the finest material. She did love her clothes, but there had to be a solution to the problem.
"You look bewildered, my dear." she heard Captain Gregg's voice.
Looking up from the paper in her hand, she smiled at the seaman. "Good morning to you Captain. I'm afraid I am a bit bewildered and I'm not sure what to do about it."
He didn't answer just stood there looking at her, his brows furrowed in deep thought. "I'm sure it is nothing that you can not manage." he finally said.
"I certainly hope so," she sighed. "I really hope so." She gave one more look at the various bills and sighed again.
"Excuse me Captain, I think I need to get a breath of fresh air." as she got up heading for the door. After he made sure she had gone out the front door, he took a step over to the desk, to see what it was that was bothering her so.
He did not regard it as snooping but as a way of keeping track of what went on his ship.
"Mom? Oh hi Captain Gregg, where's Mom?" Jonathan came into the room to stand beside his idol.
"I believe she said she needed a breath of air. She should be back directly. Can I help you with anything lad?"
"No, I was just going to ask her," he stopped looking in the same direction as the Captain.. "Whatcha looking at?"
"It appears to be some sort of budget. And I believe it's what has your mother upset."
Jonathan sat down in the desk chair and surveyed the items. I'm pretty good at math." he said confidently.
"It looks like she doesn't have enough money to go around." he pointed to the total of the bills his mother had written on the notebook paper and the amount of money she had left in the bank to pay them. "She's a little short."
"Indeed she is." Captain Gregg agreed. "But she's pulled through hard times before."
"I already had my birthday. She shouldn't have spent so much on me." Jonathan said looking at her scribbling on the top of the paper. "But all these other things still have to be bought too I guess. Christmas, Thanksgiving, Muirs anniversary." He stopped suddenly and turned to face the seaman. "She forgot her birthday!"
"Your mother's birthday?" the spirit asked. "Her birthday is this month as well?"
"Yeah, I know it is. I remember her telling me when I was a little kid that me and her were birthday buddies." He shook his head and started to laugh. "I used to think I was older than her because my birthday was first." and he shook his head like he could not believe how naive he had been.
"Do you remember what day is her birthday?" the Captain asked the boy. "Not that I care." he said to himself, just curious.
"I don't remember, I only know it was after mine. Mine's been up for a week. What if we've already missed it Captain?" his blue eyes grew worried. "I remember last year Grandma took me to the store and I bought Mom a flower. Grandma said it was a Christmas flower, it was pretty. But we left it in the apartment."
"Perhaps Martha would know the date?" the Captain suggested. He did not care he told himself again but the lad was very worried about it and he hated to see him disappointed.
"I'll go ask!" Jonathan was out the door before the words were out. He stopped at the top of the stairs and came back to the bedroom door. "Captain, let's keep it a secret from Mom okay?"
"Okay" the Captain agreed, trying to get used to the word.
Martha couldn't remember what day Mrs. Muir's birthday was she told Jonathan. She had been so busy last year, what with her sister being in Philadelphia for the holidays and she reminded Jonathan that she wasn't living with the Muir family last year, but had been a day housekeeper.
Feeling defeated Jonathan walked slowly back upstairs and went into his own room.
"What's wrong with you?" Candy asked, a look on her face that said maybe it would be something juicy she could tease him about.
"Do you know what day is Mommy's birthday?" he asked her ignoring the look. "She doesn't it have it written down on her list of important days and it's probably the most important of all."
"I know you and Mom are birthday buddies but I don't remember the day." her face clouded over with thought. "But I know how to find out!" her blue eyes sparkling. "You'll have to play guard though I don't want to get caught. Come on."
Quietly the children snuck into their mother's room and while Jonathan took residence near the door, Candy went straight to the bureau and opened the bottom drawer. She poked around under the socks and under things and finally found what she was looking for--a white Bible with a zipper. Carefully she un zipped it and looked for the page she had seen one time when her mother didn't know she had the Bible. There it was.
"What is it?" Jonathan's curiosity getting the best of him. "I want to see."
"It has important stuff in it, see. Like the day Mom and Dad were married and our birthdays and --here it --is Mom's birthday." she squealed. "Carolyn Elisabeth, I like that it's better than Elizabeth, Elisabeth Williams, November 28, 1936."
"Gosh she's old." Jonathan said in awe and Candy nodded in agreement. "She looks pretty good considering."
Carefully Candy put the Bible back exactly where she found it and they snuck back out of the room.
"So what are we going to do now?" Jonathan asked her. "She deserves a party, we both got one."
Candy nodded. "She needs one. It's only fair. I don't remember ever having one for her." The
children sat down on Jonathan's bed, chins in their hands, their minds hard at work.
"Well it would help if we knew what day the 28th was. That way we'll know how much time we have." Candy reasoned. "Let's go find a calendar."
The bank calendar hanging in the laundry room showed them the 28th was in a week and "hey that's Thanksgiving." Jonathan said a little too loudly.
"Sh!" Candy took a motherly tone. "We want it to be a surprise don't we?"
Jonathan nodded in agreement even though he was mad at Candy for trying to act like she was so much older. "It would be more fun if it was a surprise."
Hearing their mother come in the front door, they went out the back door and out to the yard by going around the house. Making themselves comfortable on the front porch they took up their thinking positions again, trying to come up with the best way to give their mother a wonderful birthday.
"Well, at least we'll have a good meal if it's Thanksgiving." Candy reasoned.
"Yeah, but Candy we got to pick what we wanted to eat for our birthday. Mom should get to do the same, it would only be fair. Maybe she doesn't want turkey and stuff." the boy's face falling at the thought of missing such a meal.
"That's true. She should be able to have anything just like she tells us we can. And we could get Martha to make a cake. She will need a cake."
Jonathan nodded in agreement. "You can't have a birthday without cake and ice cream. The hardest thing will be presents. Mom doesn't have any money and besides you can't ask her for money for her own presents."
"Grandma Williams usually gave us money." Candy remembered "at least she did last year. I remember once Daddy took me shopping for a present for Mom. He wasn't very happy about it." her eyes flashed at the memory.
"I don't remember doing that ever." Jonathan tried to find the memory but couldn't.
"Don't worry about it Jonathan, he only took me once. But we do need to get something for Mom. I'm going to go count my money."
"Me too."
After several minutes of careful counting and then re-counting and counting each other's, they determined between the two of them they had $2.34.
"It's not much." Jonathan sighed.
"But it is something." Candy tried to look on the bright side. "We'll talk to Martha, she will think
of something. I'm sure it will be Mom's best birthday ever. It has to be, it's the first one at Gull
Cottage."
"Yeah, but if she doesn't get some money soon it could also be her last."
***************
Despite the fact that she hadn't gotten any new ideas for stories and they were still as broke as they had been this morning, Carolyn was in a good mood. She couldn't quite figure out why, but she was in a very good humor.
She had left the house that morning determined to come up with the great American novel or something and hadn't a bright idea all day. Walking along the surf had been calm and restful and she had enjoyed being in the sunny although chilly weather with no sounds but the sea birds and the waves lapping the shore.
Since moving to Gull Cottage she had found each day to be better than the last, even though the house was falling apart or she couldn't think of new writing material, or the budget was so tight she could have snapped it like a rubber band. For the first time in her life she was actually doing what she wanted to do, making her own decisions and doing what was best for her and her children. Not to mention another reason she found pleasure in each new day, but she tried not to think of that one too often. He had made it clear that he still regarded them to be living in the house on trial, even after five months.
Dinner had been ready when she came in the door, the smell of beef stew greeting her, reminding her that she had indeed been hungry. At least the grocery store would extend her a little credit, they wouldn't have to starve any time soon. And though it would be a small turkey they would have one for Thanksgiving.
Sitting down on the bed to face the mirror she looked at her reflection. Did she look like she was going to be 32 years old? Is this what a 32 year old looked like?
Getting up she went over to the mirror, looking at herself carefully. Small lines were just beginning to form around her eyes but she still looked far from old. Her eyes were still her favorite feature, but she wondered if they were really as nice as she liked to think they were. "Listen to me, I sound so vain."
Never had she thought of herself as being 32. 20, 25, 30, 35 even 40 but this age was a whole new frame of mind. If someone had told her that by the time she was this age, she would be widowed with two children and living in a seaside cottage with the most magnificent man uh ghost she never would have believed it.
"You look lovely M'dear." the Captain's voice filled the room followed soon with his image.
"Thank you Captain." she murmured.
"You looked as though you might have had a few doubts." he looked amused.
She turned to face him, a smile firmly in place.
"Captain let me tell you about the secrets of a woman's mind. No woman ever thinks she's pretty enough, thin enough or young enough. It's just not in her nature."
"No wonder I shall never understand them, they don't make sense to themselves."
"Take it or leave it" she shrugged.
His next thought he didn't say out loud, merely smiled at the lovely lady and bade her good night.
"What's with him?" she wondered as she pulled back the covers on the bed, grateful to end the day in sleep. The bed that was always comfortable looked even more so tonight.
Stepping out of her slacks, she didn't take the time to hang them up, but threw them over the closest door.
Reaching to unhook the clasp on her sweater she hesitated for a moment then went ahead and pulled the garment over her head. If he were looking well then he wouldn't be seeing anything he had not seen before.
Suddenly her heart picked up speed at that thought. Hurriedly she finished undressing, pulling her nightgown on and climbing in bed, pulling the covers up to her chin. Silly thoughts she was having, surely after all these months of living here she should be past such thoughts.
Turning first one way and the other she couldn't get comfortable. The problems of the morning were coming back like tidal waves. How was she ever going to get through the rest of this month with what she had to work with? The thoughts persisted to the point she knew she'd never be able to sleep. Throwing back the covers she reached for her bathrobe and got up out of bed. Tying the robe off she sat down at her desk ,turning on the lamp.
Well at least Jonathan's birthday was over and she had been able to give him a nice one. They were such good kids, they deserved to have nice things. And as for the Muirs, well they would understand about not getting a big gift. Perhaps she could just send a card with a warm show of regards. Surely they would not except a present knowing a little of her circumstances. Of course that was part of the problem, they were all too aware of her circumstances and that was what their argument was.
Christmas was 5 weeks away, and surely by then she would have a little to spend on a tree and a nice meal. There was a little left in savings that she could use to get the kids' presents with and maybe the savings bond that Robert had given her for her first birthday with him, could be cashed for a small amount. They would make it, one way or the other. She was not leaving Schooner Bay or Gull Cottage, she refused. It was her home now and she would not give up the ship.
Glancing down at the small pocket calendar she let her gaze drop on November 28th. What was her problem? It wasn't an important day, it was just her birthday. She could live without all the fuss of having every one know it, and it would save a little money. She wasn't a kid anymore that needed presents and cake and all of that. She was a grown adult with much more important things to think about. Birthdays were highly overrated when you got past 25 or so anyway.
When was the last time she had had a special birthday? Oh the kids always bought her presents and her parents did as well. And usually the Muirs would give her a little money, but birthdays had not been a big deal for Robert. He was the only person she had ever known who truly meant it when he said "I don't want anything for my birthday." Unfortunately he had thought that everyone else felt that way as well. How many times had she had to remind him about the kids' birthdays and that they were important. He had never taken her out to dinner or given her anything special. "It just means you're getting older and I'm sure you don't need me to remind you of that."
She walked over to the chair by the fireplace watching the flames flicker in the gas heater, turning red and yellow in their earnestness to warm the room and before she knew it she was asleep.
*************
"We have $2.34 between us." Jonathan told Captain Gregg as they sat up in the wheelhouse working on a ship model. "It's not much and we aren't sure what to get her."
"What do you think she would like?" he asked the boy. He knew from his experience that buying gifts for women was always a difficult thing to do, regardless of the amount of money.
"I don't know. I wish we could get her something nice. She's a great mom. Martha is going to make her a cake with her name on it, she said she would. Chocolate with white icing."
"Perhaps Martha could help you pick out a gift." The Captain suggested.
"She could." Jonathan said thoughtfully "but we want to get it ourselves."
"I understand your situation." he told the boy. "You will think of something. I am assuming this whole thing is a surprise for you mother."
Jonathan nodded in earnest. "She doesn't know anything about it, she just thinks it will be Thanksgiving. But it will be the best birthday she ever had I know it will."
"Of course it will." the Captain agreed. "You will find the perfect gift."
They worked along in companionable silence, enjoying their time of men's' work. "Maybe Candy and I should go to the store and take a look around." Jonathan suggested. "I'm sure we could find something. But we'd need to go without Mom knowing."
"Go and ask Martha if she will take you and your sister to the village. Make sure you tell her why and it's a secret. While you do that, I'll make sure your mother is occupied."
"What are you going to do?" Jonathan was curious.
"Well my boy I'm sure I'll think of something. I wasn't the smooth talker of Schooner Bay for naught."
"Huh?"
"You'll understand when you get older."
"That's what they always say."
*******************
Martha left the children to look around the general store while she did some shopping for dinner down the street. They started at one end of the store and went down each aisle, keeping a sharp eye out for anything that looked worthy of Mom and was in their price range.
About fifteen minutes into their search, Candy spied something and called Jonathan over excitedly. "Jonathan come look at this, it's beautiful."
She held out a round crystal paperweight to her brother and he took it carefully. "This is neat." He said as they both looked inside and saw the figure of a small lighthouse in the middle of the ball.
When you held the ball to the light, it caught the crystal ness of it and spread rainbow colors over the floor. It was perfect.
"I bet it's more than $2.34" Jonathan sighed, putting it back on the shelf.
"Maybe not let's go find out." Candy was hopeful.
The girl at the counter told them it was $5. "Might as well be fifty." Candy groaned. "We don't have any more money and we can't earn it that fast."
"How would we earn it?" Jonathan was glum. We can't really get jobs and besides we don't have enough time."
"Maybe we could borrow it from Martha?" Candy suggested already knowing the answer.
"We can't do that. How would we pay it back and besides then it wouldn't really be from us. Not at first anyways and that's what counts."
When Martha came to collect them she remarked on their sad faces. "If you get any lower I'll have to jack you up." she tried to make them feel better. "I guess that means you didn't find anything."
"Oh we found something all right, we just don't have enough money for it. We're almost $3 dollars short."
Candy sighed and Jonathan nodded in agreement.
"I could get it for you and you could give it to your mother." Martha suggested touched at what the children were doing for their mother.
"That's not the same thing." they both said together which made all three of them laugh.
"Then I guess you'll just have to get something else." Martha was practical.
"Blast!" Jonathan exclaimed. "There just has to be away."
"Well let's go get the mail and maybe something will hit us while we do that." Martha took his hand firmly as they crossed the street.
"Well at least there are no bills." Martha looked over the envelopes briefly. "Here's one from my sister, hope it's good news. Jonathan this one is for you." the housekeeper handed him a large white envelope.
"For me?" he blinked.
"The envelope has your name on it." Martha told him. Mr. Jonathan Muir that's you."
He tore the flap in excitement and pulled out a card with an embossed airplane on the front. "It's a birthday card." he opened the card and $5 fell out on to the floor. Hurriedly he picked the money up and put it in his pocket. "It's from Cousin Patricia." He told them. "Sorry this is late, but better late than never. She said to get anything I want."
"Wow, five whole dollars," Candy was envious. Her present from Patricia had been a yellow sweater. "What are you going to do with it?"
"What else I'm going to go get Mom's present." He said like there was no other option. "Let's go before they close."
"Patricia isn't going to like that, " Candy said remembering their father's cousin's dislike for their
mother.
"She said anything I wanted." Jonathan was determined. "Let's go."
******************
The smell of the turkey filled the house, making everyone's mouth water in anticipation. The kitchen stove was bubbling with all the good things of the holiday, the savory smell of dressing mixing with the nutmeg and cinnamon of the sweet potatoes.
"How much longer Martha?" Jonathan came running into the kitchen. "I'm starving."
"So what else is new?" she rumbled his hair. "Everything set for later on tonight?"
"Presents are all wrapped and we made her a card. And she doesn't suspect a thing. It's going to be perfect." his blue eyes were shining with excitement.
"Cake's ready too. And boy have I had a time hiding it from her. But I think we will be just fine."
"I can't wait to give her the presents and cake and stuff." Jonathan was practically dancing. "Boy is she going to be surprised."
Dinner was a wonderful time of eating the good things that had been prepared and telling Martha over and over how much they loved it. While they ate they talked about their first five months at Gull Cottage and how thankful they all were that they had found this place and how it was home. Even Martha admitted that it wasn't too bad a place and as long as they stayed she would manage to stick it out as well.
When they each said something they were thankful for, Jonathan had no shame in admitting that he was very thankful for Captain Gregg even though he got an "really Jonathan." from Candy and a chuckle from Martha.
Carolyn smiled at her son, giving his hair a tousle. She knew exactly what he meant, she was very thankful for the presence of the Captain in her life. What had life been like without him? She didn't or did she want to even think about it.
"Well before I clear the table." Martha broke in, "we have something to give to you Mrs. Muir."
"Me?" her eyes held a puzzled look. "What more do I need than this fine meal and great company?"
"Well we think you might need this. After all you work hard day after to day to keep this family on its feet and it's high time you were thanked for that. Children go fetch your things."
After a few minutes the children returned with two packages while Martha brought the cake out of its hiding place and the three of them laid down their bundles at the same time. "Happy Birthday Mom." Candy and Jonathan yelled together.
"Happy Birthday." Martha echoed.
Carolyn felt tears forming in her eyes and she blinked hard to keep them back. "How did you know?" she asked stunned. "I never said anything. Not to anyone."
"We have our ways." Jonathan laughed pleased with this secrecy. "We know everything."
Carolyn looked at each package as though it were made of pure gold and then at the cake. "It's all so beautiful." she managed to say.
"Open the presents Mom." Candy couldn't wait.
Picking up the one that said it was from Martha she found a lovely stationary set with a fountain pen lying in the little wooden groove of the box it came in. The writing paper was embossed with a schooner at full sail and her monogram was interwoven in to the blue band that went across the top of the page.
"Oh Martha, it's lovely. I don't know how to thank you except to say thank you."
"I'm glad you liked it. I figured even a writer such as yourself might need to write something personal now and then. The man said that was a good pen, he better be right."
"It looks like a good one." she picked it up, feeling the coolness of it between her fingers. "It's
beautiful."
"Now ours please." Jonathan practically pushed it into her hands. "We hope you like it."
She gasped when she saw the paperweight. "Oh kids this is so pretty, and just what I needed. I'm always having so much trouble keeping everything on my desk. I love it."
As she kissed each child she couldn't help but think how much this must have cost and how had they ever gotten the money together. And without coming to her! What wonderful children she had.
"And now for cake and ice cream." Martha announced. "Can't have a proper birthday without them."
***************
Careful not to fall and break anything, Carolyn carried her new treasures to her room, setting them down on the desk.
There had also been a card from her mother and father with a bit of money and one from the Muirs. This had to have been the best birthday she had ever had.
Picking up the paperweight she held it up to the light, watching the rainbow colors splash across the desk and once more tears threatened, tears of joy and love. They had planned this whole thing, without letting her know and had done everything on their own. She hugged the object close for a moment before setting it down on a stack of papers. The ship inside looked so real. It was all so beautiful.
Turning to put the pen and stationary in the desk, she spied a box sitting on the bureau she didn't remember seeing there before.
Opening the flap of the cardboard box, she lifted out a small intricately carved box. It wasn't very big and smelled of birch wood. It had a fragrant odor and it felt smooth under her fingers. It was obviously hand carved and probably expensive. Where had it come from?
"Happy birthday M'dear." Captain Gregg appeared at her elbow. "I hope you think it's suitable. I bought it in Moscow in 1845, I was drawn to it, but never had anything to do with it, until now."
"I love it," she said simply. "It's lovely." she ran a finger over the delicate leaf carvings. "But you
don't have to give me anything."
"I know I don't." he replied rather testily. "But I wanted to, after all it is your birthday."
"How did you know that?"
"We have our ways." he replied with a smile and manner equal to Jonathan's.
"I can't thank you enough." she smiled at him, allowing herself the luxury of looking deep into his
eyes for a moment.
He returned the look causing her pulse to race and she felt her face growing warm.
"I'm glad it meets with your approval." and he was gone.
Setting the box down carefully she smiled. At this moment she was sure she had never been happier or content. Looking about the room she felt her heart overflowing with thankfulness for her situation. What was a little money shortage?
She readied for bed and finally climbed in feeling deep satisfaction. As she pulled the covers up and let her heard sink down into the pillow, his voice came over her sweet and low. "Happy Birthday Mrs. Muir and many more."
Oh yes Captain Gregg many more indeed.