THIS IS NOT AN ACTUAL CHAPTER!!! I'M SORRY BUT I DON'T HAVE THE TIME RIGHT NOW TO MAKE AN ACTUAL CHAPTER.
I AM SO DAMN SORRY THAT I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN SO LONG!!! Unfortunately, next week is the last week of school and you know what that means: finals. And of the course, the week before finals just had to be our favorite *gasp* project week!!! So I have been staying up late practically every single night doing my stupid projects and I am so damn tired…unfortunately, I can't take a break cuz I gotta study for finals too…*sigh* I'm gonna die from stress!!! But I promise that I'll update after school's out and after I get back from my trip…this isn't an actual chapter. I was going to just make this an author's note, but I decided to give y'all a little something for being so patient. It's basically a series of reflections over various things…if you've read RA Salvatore's Forgotten Realms, it's kinda like the thingie Drizzt writes at the beginning of each new part…
PEOPLES, PLEASE READ MY AUTHOR'S NOTE AT THE END!!! IT'S A POLL ABOUT THE STORY AND AN IMPORTANT NOTE!!!!
Disclaimer: don't own nothin'
Interlude
What am I?
There are so many answers to that question. I am a student, a sophomore at my high school. I am a sister. I am a child of my parents. Am I a warrior? No. I am but one who learns the fighting arts. But above all of that, I am an actress, a performer.
I weave a web of lies…
What defines what a person is? Does not everyone act from time to time? Who in this world could be their true selves to everyone they meet? Who could be so innocent and naïve as to trust every stranger? Children, yes. But even children learn not to trust so easily as they grow. Is that such a good thing? Perhaps if someone were out to harm them. But as one grows up and learns those hard facts about life, that purity is forever lost.
There is no such thing as purity…
Yes, an actress. That is what I am. For what is my life each day but an act? An act of happiness, of popularity, of so many things I'm not. Yet as I perform this act each day, is it integrated into part of my being? Do I become what I act? Or am I a completely different person on the inside, acting out of necessity? If I did not have to be popular at school and I was not, would I be satisfied with being just one of the crowd, not standing out? Would I not care?
Perhaps I do not even know myself…
Some would say that you have a choice in everything, that no one is forcing you to do the things you do for your brother. They would say that if you try hard enough, you will always find a solution. And perhaps they have a point. But life is not so simple as in the books, where effort will bring forth a miracle. Oh no, real life is much harder than that. I have learned that sometimes, no matter how hard one tries, they cannot change their situation.
Fate controls the pieces on the board; I am but a pawn…
For my parents are beings of evil. They have no loyalties, yet they work together as a seamless pair. If one of them turned on the other, they would take no hesitations in killing one another, I believe. They say that evil turns on itself. That eventually, mistrust will brew into a storm and evil will kill itself. Perhaps that is true or disorganized evil. But evil, one that is organized, systematic, efficient, that which does not kill members of its own out of greed or anger, is a hard enemy to fight indeed. And that is the flaw in good. Good has ties, loyalties. A good man may be undefeatable in weaponry, yet take one of his beloved friends or his lover, and he can be controlled like a puppet.
A puppeteer...one that is cruel…
But that is what separates good from evil. I would like to think I am a good person. If I just let go, let whatever happens to Johnny happen to him, what would I be? If I sat in the sidelines without doing anything and watch him be killed or tortured, would I be able to live with myself. Would I ever be able to escape that guilt that there was something I could have done to stop it? No, I would rather die than just let go, let my brother go to those beings who call themselves my "parents." And so I am controlled so easily, a doll on strings.
Too easily controlled…but how can I change it?
But I am straying from my topic.
Straying? Or avoiding?
Acting is not so hard when every day, one acts. How easily I can put emotions in my voice, in my eyes! I am like a slide projector. I project only the emotion that is put in the slot, that I want to be there. True, sometimes that emotion is real, but that is only sometimes. How often have I feigned happiness when I wanted to cry, jeer at someone when I actually wanted to help them? For I am a skilled painter when it comes to the art of deception. Too skilled, sometimes, for my own liking.
An expert in my craft. Who sees beyond what I show?
Deception.
A word with many meanings.
Some are so easy to deceive. But am I doing them harm as I act for them? For when they find out the truth, will some part of their innocence, their trust in others be shattered?
A broken mirror. Scattered shards of glass, each holding its own reflection.
What is my life? Am I living a lie? Will I one day wake to find out that everything I've ever believed in is false? That in the end, I will not be able to save him? And if that comes to pass, will I be able to rise up again from the dirt and dust? Or will I sink into the ashes, broken?
A broken doll. But look, it is crying…
So many questions there are that I cannot answer. How often I have wondered if I could do something different, if I could've chosen a different path, a less painful one. But I have already started off on this road and I cannot stop. Halting mean leaving me here, starving, dry. To veer off means to drop into that dark abyss, to fall forever. Turning back is impossible for the way is blocked by brambles and bushes. To go forward is the only option open to me.
A clear way through…but what will be on the other side?
What is the meaning of living? For what reason do we walk on this earth's surface, consumed in our daily activities? What gave us this life? Why do we live it? For what reason are we born?
We are all born…all born to die…
But Elves are immortal. Do they die? Mustn't they die as well? Or can they truly live forever? What is the meaning of eternity? Can we, humans, comprehend it? Can Elves comprehend the aspect of living forever? Do even the wisest, even the Valar know?
Eternity is a void. Life means death.
And what is death? Death…ascendance into the next realm, the realm after death, many would say. Some would say it is the end, the end of everything. Others believe in reincarnation, that the soul will come back. But no matter what each of us believes, all of us still fight it. We fight death 'till the end. Does that not show our fear? Can anyone truly claim that they are not afraid of death?
Death is only the beginning…
Too many questions. All unanswered. But who could answer them? All I can do is to live my life to the best of my abilities. To live.
A pendulum swings.
Back and forth.
Back.
Forth.
Back.
Forth.
It slows.
It stops.
There is nothing.
Yet nothing is everything.
—Ariana Monteaar
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ok, now that that's done…tell me what you thought of it, even though it wasn't an actual chapter. Now for the poll: I don't know how I want Aria to show that she has weapons training and I don't have very many ideas. But out of the ideas I do have, do you want her to:
a) have someone such as Tándir be sneaking up on her for some reason and she reacts instinctively
b) just let there be a normal practicing weapon session and she just decides to let them know that she can use a weapon
c) have her show them at the festival that will have weaponry competitions and such
d) have her go out into the woods to search for her stuff along with some Elves and then have orcs attack them and let them show them there
e) have Gandalf arrive and he finds her stuff and weapons in the forest and brings them and she explains everything
f) have Leggy's little twin sisters give her a tour around the palace (after she can speak Elvish) which eventually leads to the armory. There, she picks up a few weapons and starts swinging them around. The twins are impressed and let out the word to their family that Aria can use weapons…
g) some other suggestions?
P.S. should I have Gandalf bring her weapons when he arrives or should she take a search party out to try and look for her things? Should they not find out about her weapons training until after she can speak Elvish fluently?
PLEASE ANSWER MY QUESTIONS CUZ I WANNA SEE WHAT YOU GUYS WANT TO SEE HAPPEN IN THIS STORY!!!
ALSO, I WILL BE CHANGING MY SCREEN NAME TO Angel of Death. I DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S IMPORTANT OR NOT BUT I'M LETTING Y'ALL KNOW JUST IN CASE. ALSO, I'M CHANGING THE NAME OF THIS STORY TO The Art of Deception. IFYOU DON'T LIKE THE NEW TITLE, TOO BAD, CUZ I DO.
AND PEOPLES, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE CHECK OUT MY OTHER LOTR FIC "Blind to Hope"!!!! and if any of you like Harry Potter fanfiction, I wrote a little piece called ficlet based on Christina Aguilera's song "Walk Away" called "Walk Away." Lol. Check that out if you want to.
Now, some responses to review for Chapter 11:
AnGeLiC dEvIl: lol, I like long reviews!!! It gives me a better perspective of what my readers are like! I would appreciate it a lot if you sent me a Sindarin dictionary. I started taking lessons but gave up cuz I didn't have enough time cuz of school…I hate school. And finals are this week!!! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! I'm gonna die!!!
LilOne: glad you like the reaction! I had hoped that people wouldn't think that I was draggin it out too much!
Fans: thanx for adding me to your favorites list! Glad you likes!
Kaebabe: lol, the intro was very spur of the moment. I was reading fanfiction one night and the idea just popped into my head!
*Star Girl*: I loved The Blue Sword!!! The beginning was sorta boring but then I got really into it…Robin Mckinley is an awesome writer. And I will email you back soon!
Giftofgramarye: wow…you sound very professional! And I like long reviews!! U like trig? *jaw drops* I haven't done trig yet but from what little we have covered (sine cosine tangent) I really don't like it…then again, I'm just not a math oriented person. Thanx for the helpful hints…I do try to make them talk not so modernly, but it does slip out. sometimes it seems that I can't make them talk in a Middle-earth fashion without making seem silly! I'll have to work on that…I envy those authors who are unbelievably gifted with characterization. *laughs* and yes, I do realize the abused child cliché and strange colored hair make Aria a mary sue, but I really don't care anymore. I've discovered that practically all of these kinds of characters are and I've given up on trying to go non mary sue. It seems that there's always some little characteristic that labels a female character as mary sue…but if a female character didn't have something special about her or some reason that Legolas would notice her, then how would it become romance? So far, I have not read a single romance Legolas/OC fic on this site that does not somehow fit the standards of mary sue, even though it might be subtler than mine. Also, when I began this fic, I hadn't gone very deep into LOTR fandom yet and was not as knowledgeable on mary sues as I am now…oh well, if it's mary sue, then it's mary sue. And this is getting impossibly long…I tend to ramble so forgive me. I didn't catch a review for chapter 12, so I'm wondering if you read it. Well thanx for the reviews!
Limegreenlion: lol, happy seeds? I luv cotton candy! Sugar is good…
Shurianta: so what exactly is your opinion of this story??? sorry if I'm being stupid…
Snarfburgalar: I'm glad you understand how much I hate geometry…I'm learning Spanish in school right now and it's a really easy class. Why can't geometry be like that? why, why? I think I'll do more stuff from various peoples POVs in the future but right now if I do that, I'll never get through with the whole learning the language process. After she can speak fluently, I think I might do more stuff from her POV. I think I'm better at writing first person than third person.
Melisa-malfoy: is that a good reaction?
Muriel_sol: Lol, I wish that would work. I wish there were no finals *taps heels* I wish there were no finals *taps feet* I wish there were not finals *taps feet* I don't think it's working…
YingRui: hehe, glad you think my fic is unique!
Niphredil: yay! A fellow geometry hater! Seriously, when are we ever going to use it in our lives? I'm barely managing an A in the class!
Dreamstrifer: you said the exact thing I was thinking! a person would learn quicker if they were surrounded by it all the time! I went to China last summer (before SARS) and my Chinese improved tons cuz I had to speak it all the time! Glad you like the fic!
Kris: yay, you read "Blind to Hope" and "Walk Away"!!! I love you! (and I don't mean that in a gross way) I'm thinking of continuing both of them, actually cuz summer is coming up and I'll have time. Habla espanol? Tomo espanol ahora en mi escuela. Es un clase muy facil. LOL I hope I said that right!
Tbiris: Tolkien never specified whether Legolas had siblings or not, did he?
Tigababie: my sentiments exactly
Vanye Quende: he probably could, but for this story, I'm not going to make him do that. well…you'll see. Glad you likes.
Youko Demon: lol, I tend to ramble. That's how my chapters get so long. I start writing one thing then I keep on extending it and extending it. Like this chapter! It was only supposed to be one page but it turned out three!
Usako: glad you like my fic!
Nessime, gurl of gondor: thanx for the sites! Glad you like the fic!
Damn, that was long! I never realized I had so many reviewers! Thank you all!
Now, for chapter 12:
Youko Demon: I like long reviews!!! Author alert costs money?!?!? I never knew that!
Lady Death: sorry for the long wait…blame it on school.
Toni: *blushes* I'm glad you like my fic that much! And don't worry, I'll be able to match you for craziness! Lol
Kilia: hehe, you'll see soon.
Vanye Quende: I know!!! Imagine asking an actual Legolas Greenleaf, Aragorn, and Lord Elrond how to go pee when you have to mime it out! God…
Luintathraiel: glad you like!
*Star Girl*: lots of people have been saying that they don't have instruments like that in ME but one person said that in The Hobbit, some of the dwarves were playing the viol, whatever that is. That sounds similar to the violin, doesn't it? And if they had violin, wouldn't they be smart enough to figure out cello?
Crabby Opinonated Potent Sulta: what are you typing your story on? Cuz I type mine on word and that lets me italicize and do bold.
Usako: LOL. I know! No one ever mentions those small, but vital things! You would think that people don't have bodily needs anymore! next up: pads and tampons. How's she gonna ask that? lol and scimitars are so cool!
Alina* Greenleaf: hey! Glad you like my story so much!
Orange Eyes: I know, I loved that book! Drizzt is the coolest character! And scimitars are awesome! I'm almost done with all of R.A. Salvatore's Drizzt/Forgotten Realms books. He is soooooooo cool! (as you can see, I have a slight obsession with Drizzt)
Koosei: glad you like! But what does ja ne mean?
Ariach: glad you likes! Sorry for the long wait though…don't hunt me down! Lol
Corrupted-innocent: I love your new name! glad you liked the chapter!
Kyu: I need to review The Hobbit. The thing is, everyone else has been saying that they don't have those instruments in ME! I really need to get a copy of The Hobbit…
Iluvenis: hehe, glad you like. What exactly is an updating list?
Ok, I'm finally done with all my responses. This thing is now seven pages! Four of them were my notes and responses! LOL. REVIEW!!!