Title: Forgiveness
Author: Berethilm
E-Mail: Tookie702@yahoo.com
Rating: PG
Summary: Before the battle of Helm's deep, Legolas begins to have doubts
and ends up arguing with Aragorn.
Disclaimer:I own nada, except the little girl, and Pennanto...
"Look at them, they're frightened." I told him. "I can see it in their eyes."
I turned, as if to walk away, then wheeled back around to face my friend.
"Boe a hyn(and they should be)," I gave a short, mirthless laugh. "Neled herain...dan caer menig(300...against 10,000)?"
He looked at me for a moment, then said, "Si beriathar hýn ammaeg nâ ned Edoras(they have a better chance defending themselves here than in Edoras)."
His optimism was making me angry. Anyone could see that they couldn't win!
"Aragorn, nedin dagor hen ú-'erir otheri(they cannot win this fight)," by now I was glaring at him. "Natha daged dher(they are all going to die)!"
Aragorn was getting visibly angry at my doubt. "Then I shall die as one of them!"
I watched him leave, angry at both him and myself, but not really knowing why. A moment later, I moved to follow him, but Gimli grabbed my wrist, stopping me.
"Let him go lad," he advised. "Leave him be."
I sighed, disgusted at the world. Then, wrenching my wrist out of the dwarf's grip, I left, going in a different direction than Aragorn had.
~ ~ ~
"Cause what I wanted to say
Never came out the way
I wanted it to...
I never meant to hurt you..."
-Tait
Sitting off by myself, I made myself cool down. I just sat in a corner and breathed. No one bothered me, most looked too afraid. Going off in fits of anger never helps people to trust you. Especially if they've never seen an elf.
As my anger dissipated, I realized that, though I I'd been right, what I had been trying to say hadn't come out quite the way I'd meant it to.
Sighing, I pulled my knees to my chest and rested my forehead against them. My loose hair fell from over my shoulders, veiling the world from my sight.
I had always prided myself on thinking before I spoke. I guess even my mouth can run away from me.
I sat there, my arms wrapped around my legs and my head resting on my knees, perfectly still, trying not to think, for quite awhile. I slowly became aware of someone moving close to me. Cautiously, I raised my head. A young girl sat next to me, staring unabashedly in awe. Her innocence made me smile.
"Shouldn't you be in the caves, little one?" I asked softly.
"I'm not little," she told me indignantly. "I'm 10 years old. And I don't want to stay in the caves. I want to stay out here."
"Why would you want that? It's much safer in the caves." I pointed out.
She leaned toward me, as if she were about to share a secret, "My brother is out here. I don't want him to fight, 'cause he could get hurt. So I'm gonna stay to protect him. I have to make sure he comes back."
She said this seriously, studying me and trying to see what my reaction was.
"Well," I began, "that is a very noble goal. But I think that it would be better if you stayed with your mother. You can protect her."
"I suppose," she said, deflated. Then she brightly asked," Why're you here? You looked lonely."
"I've just had am arguement with my best friend," I said, rather embarrassed about it. It was a stupid thing to fight about, really.
"What were you fighting about?"
"I don't really remember, but it was stupid. It's starting to remind me of another argument we once had," I recalled thoughtfully.
"Will you tell me?" the girl asked eagerly, scooting closer to me.
"All right," I said. "But afterward we are going back to the caves. Your mother must be worried."
She nodded, wanting me to get on with the story.
---------
"Once, a long time age, my friend lived in Rivendell."
"In Rivendell?" The girl interupted.
"Yes, my friend lived among the elves. "There his name was Estel, which means hope."
---------
The sun shone down into the valley, filling everything with warmth and light.
Legolas and Estel were walking through the woods, teasing and laughing with each other. They were wandering aimlessly really, no particular destination in mind, just enjoying one another's company. They lapsed into a period of silence. Distantly, they could hear an animal's cry.
They set off to investigate. They found a small bird. It was lying on the ground. Its wing was obviously broken, sticking out at a painful angle. It was bleeding from multiple wounds. It looked like a meal that had been thrown away before it had really been started. The small, weak sounds it was making were heart-breaking. It hurt to see anything in such obvious pain. Quickly assessing the bird's injuries, Legolas concluded that nothing could be done. He took his knife and quickly put it out of its misery.
"What did you do that for?" Estel, ever the optimist, was livid. "We could have saved it!"
"No, Estel, we couldn't have." Legolas countered. "There was nothing we could have done. It was too far gone. You could see it in its eyes."
Estel could not believe what he was hearing. He was getting angry at his friend for what he had just done. He couldn't understand why his friend had given up on the bird so quickly.
To Legolas, it was obvious. He had seen animals in this condition before, and had even tried to help them. But they had always died in his care.
"Look, Estel," he began, but was cut off.
"No Legolas, no. I don't know why you did it, but we could have saved it."
"We would not have saved it! I've tried before! They all died. Slowly. I did what was best."
Shooting his friend a venom-filled look, Estel stormed off into the forest. Legolas watched him go and almost followed him, but was too angry to do so. Instead, he turned around and headed for Imladris.
He was still angry when he reached the house, and went straight to the room he had been given. He sat in there on the bed until his anger had dissipated. He wasn't even sure why he was angry anymore. By then, it was dinner time and Estel still had not come home.
Elladan and Elrohir, Estel's elven brothers--
---------
"His elven brothers?" The girl interupted again. "Estel is an elf?"
"No," she was obviously dissapointed. "He was adopted by Lord Elrond when he was young, and Elladan and Elrohir are Lord Elrond's sons."
"Oh," she said and then fell silent again waiting for me to finish.
---------
Elladan and Elrohir, Estel's elven brothers werer becoming worried. Estel was never late for dinner. They went to Legolas for answers.
"We were arguing, it was something really stupid. We went seperate ways. Why? Hasn't he come back yet?" he said in answer to their questions.
"No, he isn't back," Elrohir answered.
"Well we must find him," Legolas decided.
~ ~ ~
Legolas led the twins to where they had the bird, then pointed out the direction Aragorn had taken. It was very easy to pick up the young Dúnedain's trail. He had been angry and had not bothered to cover his tracks.
They found him laying in a ditch, unconscious. Apparently he had tripped over one of the tree roots. It was a wonder he had not broken his neck. Many small scrapes covered him from where he had roughly pushed the foliage.
Legolas chose several of the more colorful elvish words to express his feelings. "This is all my fault. I shouldn't have let him go off by himself."
"Don't blame yourself, Legolas. Estel will do stupid things whether or not you're around," Elladan said, earning a sharp glance from his twin. "Let's just get him home."
Gently, they lifted Estel from the ditch. He didn't stir. They got him back to Rivendell as quickly as possible.
As they entered the house a female elf stepped out of a side door into the main hallway.
"Pennanto, please fetch my father," Elrohir said urgently.
Pennanto glanced at the limp body Legolas carried and nodded, leaving quickly to find Lord Elrond.
Lord Elrond found the three in Estel's room. Estel was on the bed, where he had been set. The elf lord shooed them from the room, so that he could examine his youngest, human son.
~ ~ ~
It seemed like an eternity, but was really less than one hour, before Elrond emerged from his injured son's room.
"He'll be fine," Elrond declared. "He just knocked himself on the head."
---------
I did not realize that I had stopped speaking until the girl said, "What happened then?"
"He woke the next morning," I said with a smile. "And I apologized until he was sick of me apologizing and threatened to really hurt himself if I didn't stop." I laughed, remembering that. "After that we forgot that we were ever angry with each other."
The girl was watching me with solemn eyes.
"Now," I said, breaking the silence, "why don't we find your mother? I'm sure she's worried sick about you!"
We stood and she grabbed my hand, leading me to the caves. I made sure she found her mother, then quietly slipped away before anyone noticed.
~ ~ ~
"It's OK, you know I'll live to fight another day/
It's OK, you know I'll live to find the words to say"
-Delirious?
I found Aragorn preparing for battle. I handed him his sword. He looked at me, almost surprised to see me.
"We have trusted you this far and you have not led us astray. Forgive me. I was wrong to despair," I say.
In his eyes, I could see he'd long forgiven me. Even before I had forgiven myself.
"Ú-moe edhored(there is nothing to forgive), Legolas," he told me, smiling.
I returned his smile, knowing all was right between us again. It was good to forget anger. It was good for your soul. I was still lost in my thoughts when a horn sounded.
"That is no orc horn," I said, turning to exit.
And it was not. A host of elves had arrived to help. Another smile came to my face.
'Perhaps Aragorn is right,' I mused. 'Perhaps we can win this fight.'
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Look at them, they're frightened." I told him. "I can see it in their eyes."
I turned, as if to walk away, then wheeled back around to face my friend.
"Boe a hyn(and they should be)," I gave a short, mirthless laugh. "Neled herain...dan caer menig(300...against 10,000)?"
He looked at me for a moment, then said, "Si beriathar hýn ammaeg nâ ned Edoras(they have a better chance defending themselves here than in Edoras)."
His optimism was making me angry. Anyone could see that they couldn't win!
"Aragorn, nedin dagor hen ú-'erir otheri(they cannot win this fight)," by now I was glaring at him. "Natha daged dher(they are all going to die)!"
Aragorn was getting visibly angry at my doubt. "Then I shall die as one of them!"
I watched him leave, angry at both him and myself, but not really knowing why. A moment later, I moved to follow him, but Gimli grabbed my wrist, stopping me.
"Let him go lad," he advised. "Leave him be."
I sighed, disgusted at the world. Then, wrenching my wrist out of the dwarf's grip, I left, going in a different direction than Aragorn had.
~ ~ ~
"Cause what I wanted to say
Never came out the way
I wanted it to...
I never meant to hurt you..."
-Tait
Sitting off by myself, I made myself cool down. I just sat in a corner and breathed. No one bothered me, most looked too afraid. Going off in fits of anger never helps people to trust you. Especially if they've never seen an elf.
As my anger dissipated, I realized that, though I I'd been right, what I had been trying to say hadn't come out quite the way I'd meant it to.
Sighing, I pulled my knees to my chest and rested my forehead against them. My loose hair fell from over my shoulders, veiling the world from my sight.
I had always prided myself on thinking before I spoke. I guess even my mouth can run away from me.
I sat there, my arms wrapped around my legs and my head resting on my knees, perfectly still, trying not to think, for quite awhile. I slowly became aware of someone moving close to me. Cautiously, I raised my head. A young girl sat next to me, staring unabashedly in awe. Her innocence made me smile.
"Shouldn't you be in the caves, little one?" I asked softly.
"I'm not little," she told me indignantly. "I'm 10 years old. And I don't want to stay in the caves. I want to stay out here."
"Why would you want that? It's much safer in the caves." I pointed out.
She leaned toward me, as if she were about to share a secret, "My brother is out here. I don't want him to fight, 'cause he could get hurt. So I'm gonna stay to protect him. I have to make sure he comes back."
She said this seriously, studying me and trying to see what my reaction was.
"Well," I began, "that is a very noble goal. But I think that it would be better if you stayed with your mother. You can protect her."
"I suppose," she said, deflated. Then she brightly asked," Why're you here? You looked lonely."
"I've just had am arguement with my best friend," I said, rather embarrassed about it. It was a stupid thing to fight about, really.
"What were you fighting about?"
"I don't really remember, but it was stupid. It's starting to remind me of another argument we once had," I recalled thoughtfully.
"Will you tell me?" the girl asked eagerly, scooting closer to me.
"All right," I said. "But afterward we are going back to the caves. Your mother must be worried."
She nodded, wanting me to get on with the story.
---------
"Once, a long time age, my friend lived in Rivendell."
"In Rivendell?" The girl interupted.
"Yes, my friend lived among the elves. "There his name was Estel, which means hope."
---------
The sun shone down into the valley, filling everything with warmth and light.
Legolas and Estel were walking through the woods, teasing and laughing with each other. They were wandering aimlessly really, no particular destination in mind, just enjoying one another's company. They lapsed into a period of silence. Distantly, they could hear an animal's cry.
They set off to investigate. They found a small bird. It was lying on the ground. Its wing was obviously broken, sticking out at a painful angle. It was bleeding from multiple wounds. It looked like a meal that had been thrown away before it had really been started. The small, weak sounds it was making were heart-breaking. It hurt to see anything in such obvious pain. Quickly assessing the bird's injuries, Legolas concluded that nothing could be done. He took his knife and quickly put it out of its misery.
"What did you do that for?" Estel, ever the optimist, was livid. "We could have saved it!"
"No, Estel, we couldn't have." Legolas countered. "There was nothing we could have done. It was too far gone. You could see it in its eyes."
Estel could not believe what he was hearing. He was getting angry at his friend for what he had just done. He couldn't understand why his friend had given up on the bird so quickly.
To Legolas, it was obvious. He had seen animals in this condition before, and had even tried to help them. But they had always died in his care.
"Look, Estel," he began, but was cut off.
"No Legolas, no. I don't know why you did it, but we could have saved it."
"We would not have saved it! I've tried before! They all died. Slowly. I did what was best."
Shooting his friend a venom-filled look, Estel stormed off into the forest. Legolas watched him go and almost followed him, but was too angry to do so. Instead, he turned around and headed for Imladris.
He was still angry when he reached the house, and went straight to the room he had been given. He sat in there on the bed until his anger had dissipated. He wasn't even sure why he was angry anymore. By then, it was dinner time and Estel still had not come home.
Elladan and Elrohir, Estel's elven brothers--
---------
"His elven brothers?" The girl interupted again. "Estel is an elf?"
"No," she was obviously dissapointed. "He was adopted by Lord Elrond when he was young, and Elladan and Elrohir are Lord Elrond's sons."
"Oh," she said and then fell silent again waiting for me to finish.
---------
Elladan and Elrohir, Estel's elven brothers werer becoming worried. Estel was never late for dinner. They went to Legolas for answers.
"We were arguing, it was something really stupid. We went seperate ways. Why? Hasn't he come back yet?" he said in answer to their questions.
"No, he isn't back," Elrohir answered.
"Well we must find him," Legolas decided.
~ ~ ~
Legolas led the twins to where they had the bird, then pointed out the direction Aragorn had taken. It was very easy to pick up the young Dúnedain's trail. He had been angry and had not bothered to cover his tracks.
They found him laying in a ditch, unconscious. Apparently he had tripped over one of the tree roots. It was a wonder he had not broken his neck. Many small scrapes covered him from where he had roughly pushed the foliage.
Legolas chose several of the more colorful elvish words to express his feelings. "This is all my fault. I shouldn't have let him go off by himself."
"Don't blame yourself, Legolas. Estel will do stupid things whether or not you're around," Elladan said, earning a sharp glance from his twin. "Let's just get him home."
Gently, they lifted Estel from the ditch. He didn't stir. They got him back to Rivendell as quickly as possible.
As they entered the house a female elf stepped out of a side door into the main hallway.
"Pennanto, please fetch my father," Elrohir said urgently.
Pennanto glanced at the limp body Legolas carried and nodded, leaving quickly to find Lord Elrond.
Lord Elrond found the three in Estel's room. Estel was on the bed, where he had been set. The elf lord shooed them from the room, so that he could examine his youngest, human son.
~ ~ ~
It seemed like an eternity, but was really less than one hour, before Elrond emerged from his injured son's room.
"He'll be fine," Elrond declared. "He just knocked himself on the head."
---------
I did not realize that I had stopped speaking until the girl said, "What happened then?"
"He woke the next morning," I said with a smile. "And I apologized until he was sick of me apologizing and threatened to really hurt himself if I didn't stop." I laughed, remembering that. "After that we forgot that we were ever angry with each other."
The girl was watching me with solemn eyes.
"Now," I said, breaking the silence, "why don't we find your mother? I'm sure she's worried sick about you!"
We stood and she grabbed my hand, leading me to the caves. I made sure she found her mother, then quietly slipped away before anyone noticed.
~ ~ ~
"It's OK, you know I'll live to fight another day/
It's OK, you know I'll live to find the words to say"
-Delirious?
I found Aragorn preparing for battle. I handed him his sword. He looked at me, almost surprised to see me.
"We have trusted you this far and you have not led us astray. Forgive me. I was wrong to despair," I say.
In his eyes, I could see he'd long forgiven me. Even before I had forgiven myself.
"Ú-moe edhored(there is nothing to forgive), Legolas," he told me, smiling.
I returned his smile, knowing all was right between us again. It was good to forget anger. It was good for your soul. I was still lost in my thoughts when a horn sounded.
"That is no orc horn," I said, turning to exit.
And it was not. A host of elves had arrived to help. Another smile came to my face.
'Perhaps Aragorn is right,' I mused. 'Perhaps we can win this fight.'
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~