A/N: Aak! I've becoming what I formerly despised! An author who updates once a millennium. I'm a terrible person *cries*.
On the other hand, many of my favorite authors haven't updated in MONTHS. I don't feel so evil anymore ^_^. Mmmm… more cookies. And Darren Hayes music. Life is good.
***
~Bakura's POV~
This was so fucked up. I wasn't just referring to my Hikari's lack of sanity.
It was fucked up because I realized I actually cared.
Normally, mortals in pain made me laugh. Yet Ryou's predicament had momentarily banished my sadistic tendencies. More like Ryou and I's predicament.
Yes, Ryou and I's. This wasn't just his problem anymore. I fucking care for him, I want him to be happy, I might even fucking love him. I came to terms with it a while ago, now suck it up and be a little more accepting.
It was also fucked up that he wasn't fucking willing to do anything about it. If I ever lusted after someone that much, I'd have told them by now. Actually, I probably just would have molested them and let them draw their own conclusions.
So why hadn't I paid Ryou the same courtesy?
This wasn't lust. I'd learned long ago the difference between lust and love. Love was a useless emotion that often inflicted others, and was good for blackmail. Love, though not a weakness, created weakness. It was a rope made of silk. Strong when used as a ladder to climb through open windows, yet amazingly delicate when it came in contact with a knife.
Lust was random and raw. It cared for no one, and only sought to please itself. Funny that I would bare witness to such a selfish emotion in the most selfless person I knew.
Yet Ryou hadn't been acting lust-broken. More like heart-broken. Though lust may produce tears of frustration, I'd never seen them accompanied with such a feeling of despair. Ryou's desperate anguish had led me to believe that perhaps lust wasn't the totality of his feelings towards me. Or maybe it was wishful thinking.
Despite the overwhelming evidence against me, I couldn't help but hope he would be satisfied with something other than my body. I mean, it wasn't like he was dreaming about romantic walks in the park or declarations of love. The widow to his innermost desire showed sex. Sex with me, but still sex. And we all know by now I can never give that to him, thanks to our shared body.
Yet people don't cry from sexual frustration. Well, some do. Ryou didn't seem the type.
The more I thought about my "evidence," the more I began to convince myself that Ryou hadn't fallen in lust, but in love. Every time I ran it the tentative hypothesis through my head, my hope grew stronger.
It was this same slender hope that would guide my actions later, when I made him my offer.
What was I offering?
Love, of course.
~Ryou's POV~
I'm a terrible liar. To this date, I can't think of anyone I've successfully deceived with my pitiful fibs.
You can imagine my success when it came to lying to myself.
A mere two days had passed before I abandoned my dishonest excuses. Of course I loved him. Of course I need him. I don't know if I'd ever needed anything more in my empty life.
That's what my life was without him, empty. Peaceful, ordered, and structured, like a building. But buildings are lifeless, loveless, gray, and cold.
Bakura upsets things. He turns everything inside out and upside down, spreading chaos. He also upsets things literally. Especially people. Like policemen. Which reminds me, I need to come up with the money to pay for a new squad-car.
Despite it's shortcomings, I love his chaos. Peace and quiet could never compare. And I don't plan to give them a chance to.
I need that chaos back in my life. The feeling of delightful pandemonium that ensues when he enters my mind with another crazy plan to set fire to the neighbors cat or put cheese-whiz in Yugi's underwear.
He probably wasn't even talking to me when smirking over his intended caper. I was never worth a second glance, unless it was to demand where the fuck I'd hid the cheese-whiz.
Even now he'd paid me no heed. I suppose years of forced interaction with someone twenty-four seven can cause you to get bored with them.
I say, " I suppose," because I never had.
My appreciation only increased for him as time went on. Despite the sacrifices I needed to make for him.
Today, I was planning my ultimate sacrifice.
No, not suicide. That never seems to solve anything. Though that would no doubt amuse him to no end, even as his soul was sucked into the afterlife. Or the shadow realm. Depending.
Instead, I'd cross my fingers and hope I was good enough. That what I offered him was good enough. Though I doubt a offering of commitment that didn't include sex would please Bakura much.
What kind of commitment?
Love, of course.
***
A/N: The ending for both of them used to be, "Love, actually," but I didn't want people thinking I was trying to insert subtle subliminal pop-culture references into my fics to make them more popular.
No…. not at all…
There is one thing I want you to do for me. What is it?
Review, of course.