Hogwarts Gets Wild
Machiavella of Kingsport
Chapter 5: Draco Mingles With the Gryffindors!
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Again, readers, I apologize for the very short chapter last time. I will explain again…dad had just gotten up to let the very loud kitty out at about 1:30 A.M., and so I had to keep silent as a nothing and stiff as a corpse to keep him from investigating mysterious lights and A drive whirring noises. Naturally, since I knew someone was awake, I had to stop…and so this is a continuation of, really, the previous chapter. Hopefully I will not have to make such a short section next time! Anyhow, enjoy reading…--Machiavella of Kingsport A.K.A Nicoli Dominn (nicoli@kiwibox.com)
Draco giggled. There had to be more stuff about Snape that that air-head Pansy had written…his idea still ran around in his head, and at every step closer to the girls' Slytherin dorms it seemed better and better. The whole school would be laughing by tomorrow…laughing at Pansy. All of them, even Snape. Oh, it was ingenious…
Draco pocketed his wand carefully, the invisibility charm still active around him. He was quite talented at erasing all indication of his presence, and he used this ability now as he found a chest of Pansy's belongings at the foot of her bed. He tried lifting the cover, and found it locked. He took his wand out again. "Alohomora!" he whispered, and he cringed as the lock sprang open with a squeal. Apparently the bolts and tumblers needed oiling. He froze, and waited in careful silence, listening as Pansy stirred in her heavy slumber and let out a loud snort. Breathing out in relief, he shook his head in disgust and began pawing through the top layers of the chest.
Holding back laughter, he found pink and green leopard-spotted thong underwear, many black, lacy bras, and to his disgust, flavored condoms…He held back rising vomit and continued his search, beginning to wonder if the trouble was worth it. At last he found a fluffy pink book. Where the cotton-ball fluff was absent, it read, "The Life and Times of Pansy P. Parkinson". He held back nervous giggles as he opened the book carefully.
Holding his wand over the pages, he muttered, "Lumos." A small yellow light spread from the tip of his wand and illuminated the thin, nearly transparent pages. He read:
Dear Diary,
To you I shall be disclosing my deepest and darkest secrets. I am Pansy Pellicotta Parkinson, age fifteen, blonde, brown-eyed, short, and sweet. I'm rich, and I get anything I want…except for just lately. It just makes me so mad! I am a Slytherin at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and my head of house is the handsomest, sweetest, most charming man in the world…Severus Snape. He's also my potions master, so I get to see him nearly every day.
He's tall, slender, and underneath the robes (I suspect) he is built along the lines of a quidditch player…a chaser, I think. His long black hair is shiny and black, and it reaches to his shoulders in a ponytail. My friends all think his hair is greasy, but they're wrong…It's beautiful, like a raven's wing. His eyes are glittery and black like precious stones, and his red, sensual lips are so soft I can just feel them quivering upon mine…the only problem is, he's got a girlfriend!
This is what makes me so mad. His girlfriend, the bitch, is my divination teacher, Professor Sybill Trelawney. She's such an old bat, with specs and everything! She acts like a hippie most of the time, except lately, when all she does is talk about Severus…but Severus is mine! I want him, and why does she get him first? It's not fair! I have more money than she does, I'll bet, because my vault at Gringott's is filled to the ceiling with bright gold galleons.
But back to Severus, because he's more important than anything right now. I want to keep my love secret for now, because then my friends might start liking him too. You know, they do everything I do. Last year at the Yule Ball they all wore the same dress robes as I did, and they all tried to do their hair the same way. If they all start liking Severus just because I do, I might have to bear with watching them drool in class.
Today, in Arithmancy, I completely zoned out and started thinking about Severus in the shower (everyone says he doesn't bathe but I refuse to believe it). I imagined him all naked, and wet, and dripping, his hair clinging to his hard, muscular chest…The thoughts were so exciting I actually drooled down the front of my robes. It was so embarrassing, but I used my wand to clean up the mess. I hope I never salivate like that again!
But I can't stop thinking of Severus Snape this way…even in my dreams he haunts me, and it's wonderful, like Heaven. I dream he is in my arms and holding me tightly, never letting me go, and kissing me, kissing me always, and so passionately. He is so perfectly hard and muscular beneath my hands, and warm, and his cheek next to mine is like a silky pillow…But I am so disappointed when I wake up and it's just the sleeve of my pink satin nightgown against my face, and the mahogany bed post in my clutches. But I suppose it would be awkward if Severus and I were actually together. People might think it was weird for a teacher and student to be in love. It's always good to wish, though.
And right now, I wish that Snape loved me back. I shall wish for this forever.
Your Hopelessly Romantic Friend,
Pansy P. Parkinson
Draco felt it best at that time just to leave the dormitory with the book, for he was positively melting with silent laughter. He crept out of the door, shutting it smoothly and breathing a sigh of relief. He took his wand from his pocket and waved it around above his head. "Reveles…wow, this is too good." He rubbed his now visible hands together in excitement, and padded softly down to the common room, making sure there was no one else nearby.
The dying embers in the fireplace glowed orange, and lit up his hands as he continued to leaf through the diary, smiling rather evilly with delight as he read voraciously. He himself actually a good writer, he found himself critiquing Pansy's entries.
"Often she just goes off on pointless tangents…digression, I guess. Um…see here…" he muttered, pointing a long, slender finger at one sentence. "…So many run-ons. Really, she could've divided that one into at least three sentences, it takes up almost a whole paragraph. And in contrast, she's got this one sentence right after that consists of all of…well, look, one word! And every time a new school year starts, she always begins an entry with the same epithet about her being short and sweet and all that blabber." He chuckled condescendingly and shook his head. "Really, no writing skills, except for a modest vocabulary…" Draco went on in this fashion for about three hours, reading previous entries from even Pansy's first year at Hogwarts. He laughed out loud, and then covered his mouth hastily upon finding an entry about himself.
…One of my house-mates, Draco Malfoy, is really cute. He has blue eyes and blonde hair. His smile is so…adorable, I just want to hug him like a teddy bear. He is tall for his age, and he looks almost like a movie star with his blonde hair slicked back. All he needs are sunglasses and he would look perfect.
I talked to him yesterday during Herbology and I think he was flirting with me. This of course is no surprise; back at muggle school all the boys used to flirt with me. I had three boyfriends then. But now I'm too shy even to ask Draco out. It's so pitiful. I really wish I could!…
In the middle of his suppressed laughter Draco yawned hugely, and stared ahead in surprise. The fire was nearly out, and through the windows he could see the bright red sun peeking over the edge of the horizon. He looked at his watch; it read 3:41 A.M. Better get back to bed, he thought, stretching his arms over his head. He trudged slowly back upstairs.
The next morning after breakfast, he went instead of to his History of Magic class to Charms following closely behind the Weasley twins, Fred and George. He finally caught them away from the crowd, behind a door. They eyed him suspiciously and warily, frowning.
"Fred, George," he began nervously. He hoped no one would hear. No longer would his plan be secret, but he would be shamed for the rest of his school career for talking with two Gryffindors—muggle-lovers at that, but this factor did not seem to bother him at the moment. The twins were still silent, but at least they hadn't given him the cold shoulder and left for Charms. "I need you two to do for me a large favor."
Finally Fred spoke. "And why should we, Malfoy scum? What have you ever done for us?"
Draco removed a large bag of galleons form his pocket and showed it to them silently, the heavy coins clinking metallicaly together. George's eyes widened. "We're listening!"
Draco smiled. "All right. Now, yesterday, I happened to come across a diary and a couple of loose sheets of parchment with rather…embarrassing things written in and on them about a certain potions master. The parchment and the book belonged to Pansy Parkinson, a fellow Slytherin fifth year." He showed them discreetly to the twins, who now shared in his delight and amusement, disregarding all previous grudges between them.
"This is great…" Fred whispered, his face aglow. "What does this have to do with us and a favor, though?"
Draco took a deep breath, and continued talking. "What I would greatly like for you two to do is…" he glanced carefully around, making sure that the hallway was empty before resuming speech again. "…I want you to display these all over the school so that everyone sees them."
The twins grinned identical mischievous smiles, sharing conspiring looks. "Brilliant. How many galleons, did you say?"
"Two hundred."
"You're on!"
TO BE CONTINUED…