Guess who's back? ^_^ ME!! Ok, I know you kinda already assumed that but.oh
well!! Heh.heh.ahem
Riku: -_- She's going crazy again
Me: Hey!! Shuddup you!! *gets out whip*
Sora: DON'T HURT MY RIKUUUUUUUU!! *starts sobbing*
Riku: *takes whip and starts whipping Eva*
Ouchies!! Ok you two, I'll get to the point *sticks out tongue* Geez, so touchy when it comes to each other you little lovebirds!! ANYWAYS, thanks for the reviews and please don't lose hope, I'm REALLY trying to update as soon as I can!!
Thanks to:
Sora Otaku- hmph, let me guess... AMBER? Am I right am I right? Oh please say I'm right, I'm begging you!! Thanks for the review!
Sora Lover: Angel Of Darkness- yep, I'll continue.right now ^_^
Heather Christi- I know I know, KINGDOM HEARTS 2!!!! Oh won't it be just so exciting? For now all I can do is watch the trailer over...and over...and over...you get the point! Well I'll never tire of you saying my fic is awesome, so please continue ~_^
Cardel: I'm hurryin I'm hurryin!! Just for you teehee, and just so you'll hurry with Songs And Dreams!! Love that fic more than any other, it's like the first SoraxRiku fic I actually fell in love with. Anywho, yes I know Sora's cute, Riku's Riku and it's wonderful to see them like that!!
Ok, now where did we leave off? Ohhh, that's right! So Sora and Riku are walking down the beach...side by side...alone...*snicker* I love these kinds of situation, I make those two all anxious and they're both standing there going "Heh...er...um...heh...*gulp*...er...hm..." and it's SO funny!! Well yeah I couldn't think of how to work this out so I'm trying something so that Riku doesn't find out straight away (or this story would be extremely short) yet Sora really tries...oh that poor boy, I'm putting him through hell *laughs evilly before Sora shoots a scary glare* Eeeh...alrightey, off we go on our adventure, here's chapter 3 of My Angel!!
_____________________________________________________________________
"Ri..."
My head shot up to face Sora. We had been walking silently half the way to school and I had been so immersed in thought that I had almost forgotten that I was walking. I had a lot to think about.
"Yeah Sora?"
"Well..."
I waited for Sora to speak up again, but all he seemed to be able to do was open and close his mouth indecisively making him strangely resemble a fish. I wasn't so sure I actually wanted him to talk, so I just stood and waited. Maybe he would just start blabbing about Kairi and put my buzzing mind to rest.
"I.nunna mmnkrrrp," he blurted out.
I raised my eyebrows and fought a giggle that bubbled up inside me. What the hell did that mean?
I looked at Sora expectantly, hoping that he would justify his mumble and tell me what he had actually meant to say. However, he seemed to be giving me the same expectant look as though what he had said had made perfect sense. Eventually I let out a long sigh and spoke up.
"Sora, that made no sense whatsoever," I smirked humorously receiving a slight pout from the boy beside me. He furrowed his brow in frustration as if I had just asked him to do something completely unreasonable.
"Hmph..." Sora grumbled as he swore under his breath, "Hey! Let's go over to the paopu tree!" he yelled suddenly, leaping up on to the bridge and sprinting across to the little island. I sighed again. Aren't best friends supposed to understand each other? I sure as hell didn't understand what was going on with Sora.
I waded into the water and climbed the ladder to the island, swinging myself up to sit on the paopu tree before Sora even reached it.
"Ow."
Sora gave me a defeated look and leaned back against the paopu tree, almost lying because of how it slanted. Class didn't start for ages, and we could afford to laze around. That's how we always loved it, and even though Sora wasn't a morning person, he would never trade sleep for a lazy day with me. That's what best friends are for after all. Best friends...
"Riku?" Sora squeaked. It was barely audible and I had to raise my head to look at him to see if he had actually said it.
"Mm-hmm."
"Do... do you... um..."
I gave Sora a worried look. He sure was doing a lot of mumbling and stuttering this morning and it just wasn't like him. Maybe the dream. No, the dream was nothing. It was just a figment of my imagination and I must have thought it up. I was being paranoid and stupid and it didn't deserve a second thought. But I couldn't help but wonder.
Suddenly Sora's thoughtful expression changed as if a light bulb had suddenly appeared above his head.
"Ha! Yeah, let's... let's go on a double date to Selph's party... I'll go with Kairi and you can go with... well... anyone..." Sora said, and I swore I almost heard a hint of sulkiness as he lowered his head.
"Um... k Sora..."
I was looking at him suspiciously. He looked as thought he had just regretted what he said! Why would he have said it if he hadn't wanted to? But Sora wasn't looking at me. He was just staring out at the see with eyes that almost pleaded and for the first time I felt like wrapping him in my arms and protecting him from whatever was hurting him so much. Obviously there was something he wanted to tell me... but if he couldn't tell me I couldn't force him.
I held on to the trunk of the paopu tree and pulled myself up as far as I could, swinging as soon as I got there and then instantly releasing my grip as I plunged into the knee-deep water, splashing water all up my body. I didn't care.
Sora snapped out of his state and turned his wide eyes towards me, standing far below him and smiling up at him as I watched him fend off the tiny splashes of water that flew up and hit him in the face. He stuck his tongue out at me and hung his head, swinging similarly, not into the water, but back on the island. His movements seemed to natural and I wondered how he did it so carelessly, still hanging his head low as he trudged down the bridge and purposely slipped himself down and back on to the sand.
Geez, I was turning really soft! Since when did I pay attention to detail like that, to people's movements, at least when I wasn't playing sport? Hmmm... Well, I was a thoughtful person I suppose, I do notice things...
I could see something moving out of the corner of my eye and I noticed that I had forgotten about Sora who was slowly making his way across the beach, drawing things in the sand as he moved along.
"Hey! HEY! Sora, wait up!" I yelled irritably as I sprinted off towards him. Why wasn't he waiting for me? I don't think he had even heard me yell to him!
"Sora!" I panted as I reached a couple of metres away from him, seeing him furiously scribble out his little sand drawings as I neared him. This was just getting too damn annoying now.
"Sora, we need to talk!" I boomed, and I knew I was being intimidating. I had meant to be, and I knew I always had that power over Sora... and over just about everyone else.
"Talk?" Sora's whispered as his face began to whiten.
"Yes talk! What is wrong with you Sora? You're getting too weird right now!" I spat out the words like venom, so annoyed now that I demanded an answer. This morning was strange enough without him running away and getting all dreamy. Wasn't I supposed to be the dreamer?
"Why would we need to talk?"
Sora looked at me with hopeful eyes and I didn't know what on earth he was so damn hopeful about. Maybe he just didn't want me to beat him up or yell at him again, though he knew I would never do anything to hurt him if I knew it would.
"Sora did you listen? Surely you noticed your behaviour."
I lowered my voice slightly. Maybe I was getting too worked up about this...
"Heh, just got things on my mind Ri."
He punched my arm lightly, but the colour in his face still wasn't restored one bit and I didn't believe a thing he was saying. He plopped down on the sand and crossed his legs. He picked up the stick he was using earlier and began to draw swirls in the sand as he plonked his chin in his free hand. His big azure eyes followed the stick's pointy end as it dug along the sand in curving motions, almost entrancing me in some simple way. I slowly lowered myself next to him on my knees, smiling warmly at him.
"Like what?"
He gave me and uneasy look at that, and immediately shifted his eyes back to the sand, mumbling a simple "Nothing."
I sighed, and reminded myself that he didn't have to share it with me if he didn't want to, though I had to admit I felt a little hurt that my best friend since he was born didn't want to tell me something that was very obviously bothering the hell out of him.
I stood up and dusted my butt off from the sand sticking to my wet pants, noticing widened eyes shift to watch me, and beautiful white teeth clenching on rose petal lips, slender fingers trembling.
I finally got off all the sand and looked at Sora uneasily. I slowly outstretched my hand to him, smiling cheekily.
Sora gasped at my motion to my surprise and I looked at him startled, still outstretching my hand to him.
He scurried to his knees, springing up to his feet as he swallowed my whole body in an embrace so tight I could hardly breathe. I could feel him shuddering violently and realised he was sobbing.
"Don't... ever go... don't disappear like that... ever again!" he wailed as he clung to me.
I was so stunned and for a moment I just stood there limp, with my hands hanging down the side of my body before I patted Sora's back gently. This was just too much... had he just said... don't go? What was he talking about?
"Hey, Sora, I'm not going anywhere," I cooed soothingly into his ear as he buried his face in my chest.
"It's too similar to it... I thought it was just a dream..." he cried, still not making any sense to me. Wait... the dream... oh no, was this to do with the dream? Had Sora thought... oh...
Suddenly I pulled away from him and he looked at me with longing eyes. He had stopped sobbing so violently and instead was standing there, silent tears trickling down his soft cheeks, his eyes reddened with tears.
I could almost see his heart rip in two as I began to slowly turn around away from him. I could feel his lustful eyes tracing me again and I couldn't bear the thought. My Sora... this couldn't be happening! MY Sora was not gay!
"Oh my god..." Sora whispered as he cursed under his breath. I got ready to run away from his prying eyes as he neared me. I felt exposed and naked to him... this wasn't how it had always been... what was happening?
"Ri, I'm sorry."
He sidestepped in front of me so that I was facing him and he took my chin and forced it up to look at him. I shook his hand free as I violently turned my head to the side. Sora brought his hand to his mouth and closed his eyes. As much as it hurt me to do this to him, I knew it would hurt me even more to look him in the eye.
"Riku," he pleaded, "Listen to me! I know you're probably a bit confused but... but I had this dream and it was so real..."
I almost felt like running, running far away. But I'm Riku... and that was Sora... we could withstand this. I knew it.
"And you stretched your hand out to me and... And I tried to take it but then you were... you were... gone... it just looked so much like it Riku, I... Ri?"
My face had turned to look at him again, and I felt like a fool. I had totally overreacted and now I had hurt Sora.
"Riku! Talk to me!"
After I stood there looking at him sadly, I finally spoke up and quickly spat the words out of my mouth.
"I'm sorry Sora... I've got to go home."
And at that I left him standing there, pleading eyes staring after me as I ran as fast as I could back to my house. After this I couldn't go to school, I wouldn't be able to stand everyone seeing into my soul and I knew that anyone who looked at me would be able to tell how hurt and stupid I felt. I was Riku... nobody could see what I truly was except Sora, and now I wouldn't even let Sora see me.
I arrived at my house and fumbled around in my pocket as I found my keys to unlock the door. I suddenly felt relieved that my parents were workaholics, never there, and I slammed the door shut behind me. Today I would need to be alone, to think about what I had done and then leave it behind me, never mentioning it or thinking about it again. That was just how I worked.
I slammed my keys on the kitchen table and kicked off my shoes. Normally I would put everything in its place where it's supposed to be, but today I just couldn't be bothered with it all. I ran a sweaty gloved hand through my sleek hair and swore as I clenched my fist.
Before I thought about anything, I was going to let off some steam on my punching bag in the gym. Rich parents, pfft. At least they could provide me with a gym.
I threw off my top and grabbed a hair elastic that was sitting beside my mum's bed, pulling the silver mass back into a low ponytail. The top layers of my wispy hair hung annoyingly around my face and I shook away a strand that was blowing around my eyes as I walked. I hurried as quickly as I could to be able to let out the tension that had built up from everything. I punched the bag hard once, for the hurt I had caused Sora. I punched the bag again for what I had mistakenly overheard and was so confused about. I punched it once more for the feelings that I couldn't figure out. Soon I was punching the bag furiously without reason, and I felt great to be able to let my emotions out so easily. For a whole hour I stood there, punching blow after blow as the bag rebounded to me as if asking to be punched. Over and over again I hit the bag, teeth clenched in a malicious smile.
Suddenly I stopped and started to think... I can't keep doing this. My problems won't all be solved by violence, and my malice won't disappear if I fling my body against other objects... perhaps if I keep doing this, I'll end up monstrous and evil, and I'll lose all that's good and pure in my life. Then I'll be alone... and nothing will matter. And it'll all be my fault. I have to start being careful with the choices I make, and stop being so rash to hurt people, or nobody will want to be with me any longer... they won't want to be hurt whenever I feel negative feelings.
That was the beginning of a long line of thought that I had as I flung my clothes everywhere and took a shower, standing there as I let the water immerse my body and cleanse me, wash away the angst I was feeling.
As soon as I stepped out, I was extremely disappointed to find that my confusion still remained, but of course I had known that it wouldn't be that simple.
If I wanted to feel better, I would have to sort this out the only way possible, and that was to talk to Sora. Talking to Sora would have been the best thing for me to do... had I not been so confused with what was happening.
If Sora had dreamed that I had disappeared, then why had he asked me to kiss him once more? Surely he had been dreaming about romanticism involving me... it scared me to think that Sora had been thinking about this at all. I had always considered our relationship so amazingly brotherly that thinking about him feeling like that made me look back on some of the time we had spent together and wonder if everything was different to what I had thought it was.
I lazily pulled on my pants and flopped on my bed, not caring at all that I was saturating my pillow with my soaked hair. I closed my eyes and decided to sleep, letting out a huge moan as I gently drifted off, out of thought... out of consciousness...
***
Well... hope ya'll liked it! I know it was crap, and it's fairly limited when it's only in Riku's point of view and I was almost tempted to write a little portion on Sora's hurt and how he REALLY felt, how everything REALLY is... but I said it was Ri's pov, and that's how I'm keeping it!! Coz I'm a good writer... yep, that's me...
I really am sorry for leaving it there but if I kept going it would have gotten to a stage where it sounds stupid and the best way for me to change it all around was to end the chapter, so I'll get writing real soon ok?
I reckon it's long enough, so as long as it satisfies me I'll be ok! Well I guess I'll see you guys next time, please review as soon as you can!!! And if you don't review, I won't write _ HA!! So yeah I'll know if you truly want me to keep going.
xoxo Eva McBeava
Riku: -_- She's going crazy again
Me: Hey!! Shuddup you!! *gets out whip*
Sora: DON'T HURT MY RIKUUUUUUUU!! *starts sobbing*
Riku: *takes whip and starts whipping Eva*
Ouchies!! Ok you two, I'll get to the point *sticks out tongue* Geez, so touchy when it comes to each other you little lovebirds!! ANYWAYS, thanks for the reviews and please don't lose hope, I'm REALLY trying to update as soon as I can!!
Thanks to:
Sora Otaku- hmph, let me guess... AMBER? Am I right am I right? Oh please say I'm right, I'm begging you!! Thanks for the review!
Sora Lover: Angel Of Darkness- yep, I'll continue.right now ^_^
Heather Christi- I know I know, KINGDOM HEARTS 2!!!! Oh won't it be just so exciting? For now all I can do is watch the trailer over...and over...and over...you get the point! Well I'll never tire of you saying my fic is awesome, so please continue ~_^
Cardel: I'm hurryin I'm hurryin!! Just for you teehee, and just so you'll hurry with Songs And Dreams!! Love that fic more than any other, it's like the first SoraxRiku fic I actually fell in love with. Anywho, yes I know Sora's cute, Riku's Riku and it's wonderful to see them like that!!
Ok, now where did we leave off? Ohhh, that's right! So Sora and Riku are walking down the beach...side by side...alone...*snicker* I love these kinds of situation, I make those two all anxious and they're both standing there going "Heh...er...um...heh...*gulp*...er...hm..." and it's SO funny!! Well yeah I couldn't think of how to work this out so I'm trying something so that Riku doesn't find out straight away (or this story would be extremely short) yet Sora really tries...oh that poor boy, I'm putting him through hell *laughs evilly before Sora shoots a scary glare* Eeeh...alrightey, off we go on our adventure, here's chapter 3 of My Angel!!
_____________________________________________________________________
"Ri..."
My head shot up to face Sora. We had been walking silently half the way to school and I had been so immersed in thought that I had almost forgotten that I was walking. I had a lot to think about.
"Yeah Sora?"
"Well..."
I waited for Sora to speak up again, but all he seemed to be able to do was open and close his mouth indecisively making him strangely resemble a fish. I wasn't so sure I actually wanted him to talk, so I just stood and waited. Maybe he would just start blabbing about Kairi and put my buzzing mind to rest.
"I.nunna mmnkrrrp," he blurted out.
I raised my eyebrows and fought a giggle that bubbled up inside me. What the hell did that mean?
I looked at Sora expectantly, hoping that he would justify his mumble and tell me what he had actually meant to say. However, he seemed to be giving me the same expectant look as though what he had said had made perfect sense. Eventually I let out a long sigh and spoke up.
"Sora, that made no sense whatsoever," I smirked humorously receiving a slight pout from the boy beside me. He furrowed his brow in frustration as if I had just asked him to do something completely unreasonable.
"Hmph..." Sora grumbled as he swore under his breath, "Hey! Let's go over to the paopu tree!" he yelled suddenly, leaping up on to the bridge and sprinting across to the little island. I sighed again. Aren't best friends supposed to understand each other? I sure as hell didn't understand what was going on with Sora.
I waded into the water and climbed the ladder to the island, swinging myself up to sit on the paopu tree before Sora even reached it.
"Ow."
Sora gave me a defeated look and leaned back against the paopu tree, almost lying because of how it slanted. Class didn't start for ages, and we could afford to laze around. That's how we always loved it, and even though Sora wasn't a morning person, he would never trade sleep for a lazy day with me. That's what best friends are for after all. Best friends...
"Riku?" Sora squeaked. It was barely audible and I had to raise my head to look at him to see if he had actually said it.
"Mm-hmm."
"Do... do you... um..."
I gave Sora a worried look. He sure was doing a lot of mumbling and stuttering this morning and it just wasn't like him. Maybe the dream. No, the dream was nothing. It was just a figment of my imagination and I must have thought it up. I was being paranoid and stupid and it didn't deserve a second thought. But I couldn't help but wonder.
Suddenly Sora's thoughtful expression changed as if a light bulb had suddenly appeared above his head.
"Ha! Yeah, let's... let's go on a double date to Selph's party... I'll go with Kairi and you can go with... well... anyone..." Sora said, and I swore I almost heard a hint of sulkiness as he lowered his head.
"Um... k Sora..."
I was looking at him suspiciously. He looked as thought he had just regretted what he said! Why would he have said it if he hadn't wanted to? But Sora wasn't looking at me. He was just staring out at the see with eyes that almost pleaded and for the first time I felt like wrapping him in my arms and protecting him from whatever was hurting him so much. Obviously there was something he wanted to tell me... but if he couldn't tell me I couldn't force him.
I held on to the trunk of the paopu tree and pulled myself up as far as I could, swinging as soon as I got there and then instantly releasing my grip as I plunged into the knee-deep water, splashing water all up my body. I didn't care.
Sora snapped out of his state and turned his wide eyes towards me, standing far below him and smiling up at him as I watched him fend off the tiny splashes of water that flew up and hit him in the face. He stuck his tongue out at me and hung his head, swinging similarly, not into the water, but back on the island. His movements seemed to natural and I wondered how he did it so carelessly, still hanging his head low as he trudged down the bridge and purposely slipped himself down and back on to the sand.
Geez, I was turning really soft! Since when did I pay attention to detail like that, to people's movements, at least when I wasn't playing sport? Hmmm... Well, I was a thoughtful person I suppose, I do notice things...
I could see something moving out of the corner of my eye and I noticed that I had forgotten about Sora who was slowly making his way across the beach, drawing things in the sand as he moved along.
"Hey! HEY! Sora, wait up!" I yelled irritably as I sprinted off towards him. Why wasn't he waiting for me? I don't think he had even heard me yell to him!
"Sora!" I panted as I reached a couple of metres away from him, seeing him furiously scribble out his little sand drawings as I neared him. This was just getting too damn annoying now.
"Sora, we need to talk!" I boomed, and I knew I was being intimidating. I had meant to be, and I knew I always had that power over Sora... and over just about everyone else.
"Talk?" Sora's whispered as his face began to whiten.
"Yes talk! What is wrong with you Sora? You're getting too weird right now!" I spat out the words like venom, so annoyed now that I demanded an answer. This morning was strange enough without him running away and getting all dreamy. Wasn't I supposed to be the dreamer?
"Why would we need to talk?"
Sora looked at me with hopeful eyes and I didn't know what on earth he was so damn hopeful about. Maybe he just didn't want me to beat him up or yell at him again, though he knew I would never do anything to hurt him if I knew it would.
"Sora did you listen? Surely you noticed your behaviour."
I lowered my voice slightly. Maybe I was getting too worked up about this...
"Heh, just got things on my mind Ri."
He punched my arm lightly, but the colour in his face still wasn't restored one bit and I didn't believe a thing he was saying. He plopped down on the sand and crossed his legs. He picked up the stick he was using earlier and began to draw swirls in the sand as he plonked his chin in his free hand. His big azure eyes followed the stick's pointy end as it dug along the sand in curving motions, almost entrancing me in some simple way. I slowly lowered myself next to him on my knees, smiling warmly at him.
"Like what?"
He gave me and uneasy look at that, and immediately shifted his eyes back to the sand, mumbling a simple "Nothing."
I sighed, and reminded myself that he didn't have to share it with me if he didn't want to, though I had to admit I felt a little hurt that my best friend since he was born didn't want to tell me something that was very obviously bothering the hell out of him.
I stood up and dusted my butt off from the sand sticking to my wet pants, noticing widened eyes shift to watch me, and beautiful white teeth clenching on rose petal lips, slender fingers trembling.
I finally got off all the sand and looked at Sora uneasily. I slowly outstretched my hand to him, smiling cheekily.
Sora gasped at my motion to my surprise and I looked at him startled, still outstretching my hand to him.
He scurried to his knees, springing up to his feet as he swallowed my whole body in an embrace so tight I could hardly breathe. I could feel him shuddering violently and realised he was sobbing.
"Don't... ever go... don't disappear like that... ever again!" he wailed as he clung to me.
I was so stunned and for a moment I just stood there limp, with my hands hanging down the side of my body before I patted Sora's back gently. This was just too much... had he just said... don't go? What was he talking about?
"Hey, Sora, I'm not going anywhere," I cooed soothingly into his ear as he buried his face in my chest.
"It's too similar to it... I thought it was just a dream..." he cried, still not making any sense to me. Wait... the dream... oh no, was this to do with the dream? Had Sora thought... oh...
Suddenly I pulled away from him and he looked at me with longing eyes. He had stopped sobbing so violently and instead was standing there, silent tears trickling down his soft cheeks, his eyes reddened with tears.
I could almost see his heart rip in two as I began to slowly turn around away from him. I could feel his lustful eyes tracing me again and I couldn't bear the thought. My Sora... this couldn't be happening! MY Sora was not gay!
"Oh my god..." Sora whispered as he cursed under his breath. I got ready to run away from his prying eyes as he neared me. I felt exposed and naked to him... this wasn't how it had always been... what was happening?
"Ri, I'm sorry."
He sidestepped in front of me so that I was facing him and he took my chin and forced it up to look at him. I shook his hand free as I violently turned my head to the side. Sora brought his hand to his mouth and closed his eyes. As much as it hurt me to do this to him, I knew it would hurt me even more to look him in the eye.
"Riku," he pleaded, "Listen to me! I know you're probably a bit confused but... but I had this dream and it was so real..."
I almost felt like running, running far away. But I'm Riku... and that was Sora... we could withstand this. I knew it.
"And you stretched your hand out to me and... And I tried to take it but then you were... you were... gone... it just looked so much like it Riku, I... Ri?"
My face had turned to look at him again, and I felt like a fool. I had totally overreacted and now I had hurt Sora.
"Riku! Talk to me!"
After I stood there looking at him sadly, I finally spoke up and quickly spat the words out of my mouth.
"I'm sorry Sora... I've got to go home."
And at that I left him standing there, pleading eyes staring after me as I ran as fast as I could back to my house. After this I couldn't go to school, I wouldn't be able to stand everyone seeing into my soul and I knew that anyone who looked at me would be able to tell how hurt and stupid I felt. I was Riku... nobody could see what I truly was except Sora, and now I wouldn't even let Sora see me.
I arrived at my house and fumbled around in my pocket as I found my keys to unlock the door. I suddenly felt relieved that my parents were workaholics, never there, and I slammed the door shut behind me. Today I would need to be alone, to think about what I had done and then leave it behind me, never mentioning it or thinking about it again. That was just how I worked.
I slammed my keys on the kitchen table and kicked off my shoes. Normally I would put everything in its place where it's supposed to be, but today I just couldn't be bothered with it all. I ran a sweaty gloved hand through my sleek hair and swore as I clenched my fist.
Before I thought about anything, I was going to let off some steam on my punching bag in the gym. Rich parents, pfft. At least they could provide me with a gym.
I threw off my top and grabbed a hair elastic that was sitting beside my mum's bed, pulling the silver mass back into a low ponytail. The top layers of my wispy hair hung annoyingly around my face and I shook away a strand that was blowing around my eyes as I walked. I hurried as quickly as I could to be able to let out the tension that had built up from everything. I punched the bag hard once, for the hurt I had caused Sora. I punched the bag again for what I had mistakenly overheard and was so confused about. I punched it once more for the feelings that I couldn't figure out. Soon I was punching the bag furiously without reason, and I felt great to be able to let my emotions out so easily. For a whole hour I stood there, punching blow after blow as the bag rebounded to me as if asking to be punched. Over and over again I hit the bag, teeth clenched in a malicious smile.
Suddenly I stopped and started to think... I can't keep doing this. My problems won't all be solved by violence, and my malice won't disappear if I fling my body against other objects... perhaps if I keep doing this, I'll end up monstrous and evil, and I'll lose all that's good and pure in my life. Then I'll be alone... and nothing will matter. And it'll all be my fault. I have to start being careful with the choices I make, and stop being so rash to hurt people, or nobody will want to be with me any longer... they won't want to be hurt whenever I feel negative feelings.
That was the beginning of a long line of thought that I had as I flung my clothes everywhere and took a shower, standing there as I let the water immerse my body and cleanse me, wash away the angst I was feeling.
As soon as I stepped out, I was extremely disappointed to find that my confusion still remained, but of course I had known that it wouldn't be that simple.
If I wanted to feel better, I would have to sort this out the only way possible, and that was to talk to Sora. Talking to Sora would have been the best thing for me to do... had I not been so confused with what was happening.
If Sora had dreamed that I had disappeared, then why had he asked me to kiss him once more? Surely he had been dreaming about romanticism involving me... it scared me to think that Sora had been thinking about this at all. I had always considered our relationship so amazingly brotherly that thinking about him feeling like that made me look back on some of the time we had spent together and wonder if everything was different to what I had thought it was.
I lazily pulled on my pants and flopped on my bed, not caring at all that I was saturating my pillow with my soaked hair. I closed my eyes and decided to sleep, letting out a huge moan as I gently drifted off, out of thought... out of consciousness...
***
Well... hope ya'll liked it! I know it was crap, and it's fairly limited when it's only in Riku's point of view and I was almost tempted to write a little portion on Sora's hurt and how he REALLY felt, how everything REALLY is... but I said it was Ri's pov, and that's how I'm keeping it!! Coz I'm a good writer... yep, that's me...
I really am sorry for leaving it there but if I kept going it would have gotten to a stage where it sounds stupid and the best way for me to change it all around was to end the chapter, so I'll get writing real soon ok?
I reckon it's long enough, so as long as it satisfies me I'll be ok! Well I guess I'll see you guys next time, please review as soon as you can!!! And if you don't review, I won't write _ HA!! So yeah I'll know if you truly want me to keep going.
xoxo Eva McBeava