Even Better Than the Real Thing
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Please note, that I do not own the characters Draco Malfoy or Ginny Weasley, or any other magical lingo.
This is a Draco/Ginny romance story.
Author's notes:
Hey, everyone! First, I'd like to apologize for the lame chapter title. It's a fantastic song and PERFECTLY matches the mood of the chapter. I listened to it (on repeat) while writing this chapter. One of my favorite songs…emotional…dramatic…and conveys a feeling of uncertainty. Rather like this chapter…. :-)
Also, I know I didn't really go into much detail about why Draco and Ginny were crying. I thought it was rather obvious…But I'll have them do some reflecting in this chapter to help you understand. Basically:
Draco = scared, sad (about his fate, which we'll see what that is in this chapter).
Ginny = confused, scared (for Draco), guilty (for deceiving Ron), and highly emotional.
Anyway, enjoy! And please review! As much as you'd like.
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Chapter 7: 1979
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Draco was lying in his bed. The silvery curtains closed around him. He hugged one of his pillows to his chest. His stomach was growling because he had decided to skip dinner altogether. He had a long, enlightening conversation with Severus instead.
He rubbed his feet together, a sub-conscious habit that he had. He had done this since he was about 3 years old. It helped him get to sleep usually. But not tonight. Tonight he was awake, reflecting.
He considered getting dressed and going for a walk outside. He knew Dumbledore wouldn't mind. He'd be excused. But it was still cold, a threat of another snowfall looming.
Draco closed his eyes. Tomorrow morning, Draco was to go straight to the Headmaster's office. There, he would have his breakfast, and write the most important letter of his life. He would write to his father.
He'd already talked to Dumbledore about all of his options. Draco decided on the one that was the most dangerous, he knew. But it also proved to be most beneficial. And not to him. To the entire wizarding world.
He certainly didn't want to be a hero. That was not his intention, at all. They don't need another Harry Potter on the planet. He snorted softly, imagining anyone comparing himself to the "Harry Potter".
He tried making out the detailed pattern on the ceiling of his four-poster bed. There were countless intertwining snakes. He remembered back in first year, when he'd lay in bed and try counting them all. He couldn't sleep because he had been so home sick. He had missed his mother. And he had missed his father, too.
Draco didn't know exactly how he felt now. That was what scared him the most. The ambiguous feeling in his heart was making it difficult for him to be confident about his decision. He would always love his mother. He loved his father, still.
He loved Severus, too. Draco has always considered him a second father. He's reached the point where he feels awkward not calling him father. And Dumbledore. No matter how hesitant he was to admit it, it was true. He loved the old wizard.
It was like a hole in his heart. He was uncertain about his emotions. The people he cares for. All of them with conflicting interests.
His mother wants him to be Minister of Magic, someday. She was more naïve than most ambitious women. She didn't fully understand the Dark Lord or his intentions, so she'd always steered clear of those activities.
His father understood the Dark Lord well. He wanted to share that world with Draco. But he was blinded by greed and malice, and he didn't see that slowly he was failing himself.
Severus was the only person who wanted Draco to run and hide. Though he never came outright and said this, Draco could discern this from the advice he was given. But Draco understood why. Severus was speaking from experience. Severus wanted to spare Draco from the life that he himself was doomed to live.
And Dumbledore didn't really indicate what he wanted of Draco. He emphasized the fact that it was only Draco's life. And therefore only Draco's decision.
Draco slowly opened his eyes, bringing a hand up behind his head. He still clutched the pillow with the other arm. His decision.
In his mind, he'd already decided what to do. It was his heart that still needed convincing.
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Ginny was lying in her bed. She used her leg to nudge open the bed curtains a bit. The sun was nearly up. Violet and red light filtered into the room through the frosted windows. Ginny rubbed her eyes. She had been awake nearly all night, tossing and turning. Her head resting on her pillow, she watched the sunrise bring color and light into her dormitory room. Her roommates were all still fast asleep, making soft and steady breathing sounds.
Ginny rolled onto her side, pulling the covers up over her head. She dreaded having to get up. She had agreed to meet with Draco Malfoy. Draco!
She remembered the tender insecure look on his face when they reached the front doors of the castle. He had pulled his hand so quickly out of hers.
She considered asking Draco what was happening in his life. It was like reading only the first half a Muggle mystery novel. She needed desperately to know what was going on. Of course, she knew she was being nosy. But somehow she felt she had the right. As his friend.
Well, I don't think they have those at Gladrags, but I'll see what I can do for you, Ginny.
She wanted a friend. And more or less, she's found one. Albeit, a strange and confusing relationship, a friend nonetheless.
Ginny knew that Ron was taking this rather hard. He was mostly afraid that Draco would hurt her. When Ginny had returned from the Owlery last night, Ron was waiting for her in the Common Room. She noticed his ears were still pink, a dead giveaway of his emotions.
He didn't say much, mostly shuffled on his feet. Ginny watched him guiltily. She had hidden secrets from her brother before. But this time she felt a little…bad about it. She felt like she was cheating or breaking a rule. She was only making a friend. With someone who really needed a friend.
Now, she was laying in bed, nearly suffocating, hiding under the blankets. She pulled them down, taking deep breaths. Her ginger hair unruly and her eyes slightly damp. She swallowed, trying to gather her courage. She was nervous about today.
She was nervous, basically because she had no idea how to act around Draco. When she tried to be compassionate, he snapped at her. When she was quiet, he mocked her. When she tried just being herself, he'd told her to shut up. She felt a knot in her stomach building.
She'd most likely spend the day as a nervous wreck, trying hard to not make a fool of herself. She needed to calm her nerves.
Ginny ran her fingers through her hair, trying to tame it. She'd get up in a few minutes to take a shower. She would go to breakfast, and maybe ask Colin to join her in the Common Room to work on the Potions assignment together.
Idly, she wondered where she had stashed her Blue Box.
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Draco was sitting, back straight, in the finely upholstered chair in the Headmaster's office. He kept his eyes on his cup of tea. His years of training molded him into the perfect gentlemen. He cradled the cup and saucer in his left hand, nibbling on the biscuit in his right.
"I received a letter from your father this morning, Draco."
Draco raised his eyes to the Headmaster sitting behind his desk. The shock was slowly registering.
"What…what did he say?"
"He's asking for you to be excused for the rest of the holidays, starting December 26th." He passed the letter to Draco.
Draco set his tea down on the small breakfast table that the elves brought in for him. He took the letter and opened it, noting the family seal. It was brief. And formal. It asked only that Draco be allowed to take the Hogwarts Express to London on the 26th of December.
He looked up to the Headmaster, still shocked.
"What'll I do?!"
"No need to panic, my dear boy. Don't panic."
Draco stood up, nearly knocking over the table by his legs. He ran a hand shakily through his hair. He clutched the letter in the other hand.
"Don't panic?! This is it! This is it!" He shook the parchment in his fist, drawing attention to the fact that the letter was, indeed, it.
"Draco, sit down."
Draco threw himself back into his chair, covering his face with his hands, the letter getting in the way a little.
"We knew to expect his, didn't we? He said before the year was out, Draco. He told you that. And now the time has come. Are you sure you'd like to follow through with your decision?"
Draco's body was shaking fiercely. It was all so real now. The emotions were finally hitting him full force. He sat there, finally realizing what was happening. It was like waking up from a dream.
Alright, the time has come. He needed to gather his senses. The Headmaster is asking a question. The decision. Are you sure?
"Yes," Draco said, answering both himself and the Headmaster. "I have to do this, Headmaster."
"Dear boy, you need to understand that you don't have to do anything. This is all a matter of what you want to do."
Draco lowered his hands to his lap. He closed his eyes. Unintentionally, he recalled the sketch he had worked on the day before. The beauty, the serenity. It was the first time he'd ever tried drawing a person. A human form. Somehow, it seemed so natural. He drew from memory and the result was his best work, yet.
Virginia. The sunset was behind her, casting shadows on her face. Her mouth was curved in a genuinely happy smile. Her eyes twinkled, innocent and so full of life. Her hair was blowing softly in the wind.
You don't have to do this, Draco. You can stop them.
That girl had no idea. She didn't know the words she so simply said had inspired him to completely change his destiny. She reminded him that he didn't have to do anything, just what the Headmaster was saying. She also reminded him that he had the power to help stop them.
His resolve redoubled, he looked up to the Headmaster, who was silently waiting for Draco to speak.
"Headmaster, I am prepared. I will leave for London on the 26th. And when I return on January 2, I will be a Death Eater."
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Ginny rummaged through her trunk. It was fairly empty, so it was easy to spot her Blue Box. Percy had given her this box for her 8th birthday. He had explained the importance of saving money, letting it accumulate. He went on and on about investments, saving for the future, and "rainy days." Ginny had to pretend to yawn before he stopped and just wished her a happy birthday.
The Blue Box was a wooden, heart-shaped box about the size of a bludger. It was originally pink, which made her nose scrunch up, which, in turn, made Percy laugh. So Percy had helped her paint it blue. And they called it the Blue Box.
Ginny fingered it, remembering how Percy had dotted a bit of blue paint on her nose. She turned the box over and looked on the bottom. That was where she kept track of how much she'd put in and when.
According to the calculations, she had about 45 galleons saved. That was a lot for Ginny, considering she didn't really receive an allowance. Most of the money was gifted to her, during the holidays or on her birthday.
She righted the box and pulled off the top. She peered inside, in awe, at the mound of coins. She spilled them out on her bed and started counting.
Forty-five galleons, exactly. Percy would be so proud of her bookkeeping. She grinned. Christmas was two days away. Today was…Tuesday? So today, tomorrow, and then Christmas. She didn't have much time.
She piled the money back into the box, thinking. She was meeting with Draco today, so there was little chance of getting into Hogsmeade this afternoon. Maybe she could slip down there tomorrow. She could drag Colin along.
She opened a nightstand drawer and looked inside. Only a quill and her journal. She slid the Blue Box into the drawer and shut it. Pushing the thoughts of galleons and Christmas from her mind, she shuffled over to her wardrobe.
Ginny examined her outfit. After her shower, she spent twenty minutes to get ready, far longer than usual. She wore her favorite combination: a pale blue button-up and over it her blue "Weasley" sweater, this one with a yellow G on the front. She was wearing her newest secondhand pair of jeans that fit her better than any of the others.
She smoothed down her hair as she scowled at her scuffed up sneakers. They used to belong to Ron, when he was like 10. They fit her now perfectly well, as her mother explained. What she'd give for a nice new, brand new, pair of shoes!
She sighed as she tucked her wand into her pocket. She headed down to the Common Room. Ron and Hermione were playing a round of 'Snaps with Seamus and Dean. They waved as Ginny smiled and passed through the room.
In the hallway, on the way to the library, Ginny nervously ran a hand through her hair. It wasn't even lunchtime yet. But Ginny was in no mood to eat. The knot in her stomach was slowly growing larger.
She wanted to reach the library before Draco. That way she could sit there, maybe read something, and get comfortable. She was far earlier than planned.
When she opened the doors to the library, she was surprised to see Madam Pince sitting at her desk, looking up from her book to eye Ginny suspiciously. For the past week, the librarian had been mysteriously missing from the library.
"Hullo." Ginny mumbled, flashing a small smile. Madam Pince nodded at her and went back to her book.
Ginny slowly recovered herself and walked toward her favorite table. The light filtering into the library was pale blue and extremely romantic. Ginny sighed and she looked around at the rows of books. Only she'd think books were romantic, she smiled.
She was nearly to the table when she saw someone was sitting there. He was hunched over; his arms were folded, resting on the table. His head was resting on his arms, his face completely buried.
Ginny's heart skipped a beat. It was Draco.
She rounded the table and sat down in the chair next to him, as silently as she could. She lifted a hand, about to smooth back his hair, when she stopped herself. She hesitated a moment, her hand hovering over his blond head.
He stirred. He turned his head to face the other way. She took in a deep breath.
She lifted her hand again, feeling a little bit braver. She ran her fingers through his hair, caressing his scalp. He jumped, straightening in his chair. He grabbed her wrist and looked her in the eyes. They both drew sharp breaths.
"It's you." He closed his eyes, relieved.
"Expecting Pansy?" Ginny couldn't resist. She smiled at him, nervously.
"No, Virginia, certainly not. You just startled me. You're early."
Ginny looked down at his hand around her wrist. Her hand was so small and delicate compared to his hand. His fingers were long and graceful, fingernails perfectly groomed. He followed her gaze and drew back his hand, embarrassed.
Ginny lowered her hand, and looked up into his eyes.
"Had something to show me?"
"Why, yes, I did. I do believe that's why I asked you here." He smirked at her, though halfheartedly.
"Have you had lunch, Draco?" He looked pale. His hair was completely a mess, strands falling in his eyes. She tilted her head and looked at him. It reminded her of Harry's mop of hair. She smiled.
"No, ma'am. I'm not really hungry. You?"
She shook her head. Draco raised his eyebrows but didn't say anything. He stood up, beckoning Ginny to follow. He strode toward the doors of the library, and Ginny tried to keep up.
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A spy. Double-agent. Traitor. Mole.
He lowered his head to his arms. He closed his eyes, trying to imagine a life as a spy. He saw Severus. He was a spy, nearly his entire life. Draco's heart ached just at the thought of the poor man having these feelings for nearly a lifetime.
The feeling of being completely alone. Feeling hopeless, feeling weak. Scared and desperate. Scared. More than anything, he felt scared. He choked at the thought of climbing on board the Hogwarts Express on Friday. On his birthday.
Happy birthday, Draco.
He'd be 16 years old. Happy birthday, indeed—
Someone ran their fingers through his hair. He jumped, his heart pounding.
He grabbed the wrist, almost breaking it, before he regained control of himself. He looked around to see that it was Virginia. She was sitting there, startled.
He sighed a breath of relief, unsure who he feared it to be. He was glad she was there. Holding her wrist, he relished in the physical contact. Another human being. He swallowed, calming himself.
They made a bit of small talk, while he gathered himself. He looked forward to a quiet afternoon with someone to talk to. He certainly wanted to talk. He was willing to open himself up to Virginia. He'd do it gladly. Because the emotions in his heart were drowning him.
And he knew that Virginia would be there to guide him to the shore.
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U2 – Even Better Than the Real Thing
The Strokes – Hard to Explain
Weezer – Island in the Sun
Cake – Hem of your Garment
Moby – We Are All Made of Stars
Madonna – Don't Tell Me
Foo Fighters – Walking After You
Smashing Pumpkins - 1979
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yay! Once again, I threw this up here, unrevised. So excuse the errors. I can't help it! I get so excited about you guys reading and stuff. I'm still really thrown by the positive feedback I'm getting! People are actually reading this? Yay!! Anyway, Draco is certainly a bit down (understatement) and Ginny is going to help him through this.
A few more chapters before we jump to post-Hogwarts. Hang in there. This should all get very interesting.
Thanks for reading! Please review!