Even Better Than the Real Thing
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Please note, that I do not own the characters Draco Malfoy or Ginny Weasley, or any other magical lingo.
This is a Draco/Ginny romance story.
www.lorddave.com/evenbetter
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Chapter 10: Bittersweet Symphony
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She started to cry again. She couldn't help it at this point.
"It's you! Because of you, dammit!"
Because of her?
Ginny stared at his back. He was leaning against the end of the stone fireplace. Suddenly, the room seemed to grow larger, making her feel smaller. And alone. Her mind was reeling. She collapsed into a chair, trying to take deep, clearing breaths.
Alright, Friday. On Friday, he was leaving. She had until then to dissuade him from this foolhardy plan. A spy. For Merlin's sake.
She sniffled, and wiped her eyes and nose with her sleeve. She stood, and ventured a step toward Draco.
She realized he was crying, too. His body shaking silently, his head hanging between his outstretched arms. She walked to him and gently put a hand on his shoulder, still trying to control her own tears.
He flinched and pulled away. She took her hand away, as though she had been burned. She took another deep breath. Then she grabbed his arm and turned him to face her.
"Virginia, why don't you understand? I thought you'd be the first person to see. This is what I have to do!"
She looked into his eyes. The depth and emotion didn't surprise her. What did surprise her was the fact that this stupid boy still believed he had to do anything. But before she could say a word, he stormed off through a door at the far end of the room. When he slammed the door shut, it echoed throughout the chamber.
Ginny swallowed, and turned to face the fire. She was feeling a little more than conflicted. She picked up the blanket on the floor and sat in the armchair. She wrapped herself with the blanket, as a new flood of tears rolled down her cheeks. She pulled her legs up underneath herself, burying her face in the blanket. It smelled like Draco. And his expensive cologne.
She looked around the room. Now she really was alone. Because of you…
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He slammed the door, wanting to be alone. He sneered, isn't that what he'd always wanted? He was feeling so conflicted. He was going against everything he would have wanted five years ago. He was betraying his father, whom he loved. And though he was doing the right thing, he felt somehow that he was betraying Virginia Weasley.
Damn her. She was the reason he even thought about fighting back. And yet, she reacted like Severus. Run away. But he couldn't do that. They knew that. But they still wanted him to run. Severus loved him. And he knew exactly what fate had in store for Draco if he continued with the plan.
But Virginia? She didn't know that Severus was a Death Eater, let alone a spy. So what could she know what fate had in store for him if he did turn Death Eater? And, more importantly, why did she want him to run? That was an act of cowardice. He may not be a Gryffindor, but he certainly wasn't lacking in the bravery department.
She should know. She should realize that he can't run. Where would he run to? His imaginary private island? Damn her! First she told him to fight back. To do the right thing. Now when the time has come, she wanted him to run? This girl is too young. She doesn't understand.
Draco groaned, realizing he had just invested his feelings in a little girl. She was too naïve, too young, and far too compassionate. Compassion can blur true emotions. It can make you feel angrier than you should, or more overprotective, more sad, more sympathetic. It can amplify your feelings or cloud them. She was being blinded by her compassion.
He paced the small room, running his hands through his already messed-up hair. It was a fairly large room, completely void of furniture. He wasn't sure what this room was for originally, but he used it to think. He cleared out the furniture, even the rugs, and declared it his thinking room. He could pace in front of the small fireplace for hours, thinking.
He certainly didn't intend on being in here for hours. Not today. He checked his pocketwatch. 5:30.
He swallowed, and put away the watch. He should tell Virginia. He should take her back to the castle.
He should forget he ever talked to her. Or that he ever even knew her. But could he? He stopped in front of the fireplace. He picked up some porcelain trinket on the mantelpiece and, before even thinking of the consequences, he threw it into the fire.
The shatter was pleasing, but not entirely satisfying. He reached for another.
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She knew she was dwelling, but she couldn't make sense of it. Because of you…
She really didn't think she was entirely convincing when she told him he didn't have to become a Death Eater. She told him he could fight back. Actually, it was more of a plea. She groaned remembering. And now she wanted him to run away.
Ginny wasn't sure what she wanted. She shook her head, and tried that thought again. She wasn't sure what Draco should do. She couldn't very well decide for him. He had to decide on his own. And that was the only thing he had to do. Poor Draco. Poor confused, upset Draco.
Ginny heard a loud shatter from the other room. Her heart stopped. She stood up. In a few seconds, she heard another. And another. She ran to the door, trying the knob. It was locked.
She pounded on the door. Her heart pounded in her chest. What was he doing?
"Draco?"
The only answer was in the form of loud smashes. She knocked again, a little louder. She tried the knob again.
"Draco? Please, answer me!"
Silence. Even the shatters stopped. She pressed an ear to the door, listening.
"Draco?" She whispered, wondering what was going on inside.
Suddenly, he threw the door open, revealing an empty, dark room. She looked around, noticing the fireplace, and millions of broken shards scattered around the floor in front of it. She looked up to Draco's face. He was leaning against the frame, holding open the door with his right hand. His eyes were closed.
"What were you doing?"
"Breaking things."
Ginny sighed. She looked at his hands. They were covered in small cuts. She looked back to his closed eyes. The pained look on his face made her heart throb. Tenderly, she reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him into a hug. He stood completely still.
"I'm sorry, Draco."
He didn't say anything. He didn't move. So she hugged him tighter, awkwardly standing on her tiptoes.
"I shouldn't have asked you to run away. I understand that you've already made up your mind. I'm just scared for you."
At this, he lowered his head to her right shoulder. He moved the hand from the door to her other shoulder. His voice squeaked, as though he were about to say something, but then he stopped. Ginny smiled, nuzzling her head against his neck. Poor Draco.
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His hands hurt. His head ached. And his heart pounded. He was trying to find his self-control. But it was shattered, just like those damn trinkets. One moment, he was leaning against the doorjamb, and the next thing he knew, Virginia was wrapped around him. That was her compassion. Blinding her.
She had apologized. Draco was only glad that he was still able to make someone succumb to him. He won. But what? He won the right not to run away? Joy.
When she had hugged him, something inside him snapped. Draco couldn't move. He knew that if he did, he'd… His heart pounded. He'd what? He'd lose himself? To her?
Oh, Merlin. He couldn't be serious. He didn't even know her. She wouldn't let him close enough to get to know her. And he reminded himself painfully that he'd never get to know her.
His hands hurt. He focused his mind on that. Draco thought it felt good breaking things. But he wasn't completely satisfied.
Oh. His eyes flew open. She tightened her embrace. He felt his breath catch in his throat, before he started to nearly hyperventilate. Being this close to her was making him lightheaded. He listened to her whisper in his ear.
Virginia Weasley was scared for him. He took a deep breath, lowering his head to her shoulder.
His body relaxed. He moved a wounded hand to her shoulder to steady himself. He sighed. Draco wanted to say so many things at that moment. He opened his mouth, but only an embarrassing squeak escaped.
Thank you, Virginia.
I'm sorry, too.
I'm scared, too.
I think I might be in love you.
Draco closed his eyes. Realization flooded him. He pulled away from her. He pretended he needed to attend to the cuts on his hands.
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Ginny felt him tense and pull away. And she let him. She moved aside as he rushed past her. He walked across the room to the door at the opposite end. She followed him.
He opened the door and stepped inside. She leaned against the frame of the door and watched him rubbing his hands together in the large marble sink. The mirror hanging over the sink reflected his blank face.
She noticed, in the reflection, that his eyes were focused. He was thinking.
"Draco?"
He visibly shook himself, and he looked up at the mirror. He looked at her reflection.
"What?"
"You haven't turned on the taps!"
She burst into giggles, unable to control herself. Ginny realized now was not an appropriate time, but she couldn't help it. Draco turned around and looked at her, his face still remarkably blank.
Her giggles died away, and she eyed him nervously as he turned back to the mirror. She watched him gaze at himself for a few minutes. As though he were seeing himself for the first time.
Then, after taking a deep breath, and looking pointedly at her, he turned on the water. She saw him wince as the water ran over his long, elegant hands.
"How are you feeling now?"
He turned the taps off and looked at her in the mirror.
Ignoring her question, he pulled open a cabinet and he found some sort of salve. She watched him, as he carefully opened the bottle. He gingerly applied the balm all over his hands. Then he resealed the bottle and put it away. He obviously had no intention of answering her question.
"Virginia, I…"
There was a long pause as he turned to face her. She blocked the doorway, purposely, so there was no escape. She had him cornered.
"You what?"
He stepped closer, eyeing her closely. When his face was inches from hers, and she could smell his cologne, her heart thudded loudly in her chest. She felt a blush creeping into her cheeks.
"Thank you. I wanted to thank you."
He pushed her aside and walked into the chamber. She let out a deep sigh, mixed with relief and disappointment.
He started to pace in front of the fireplace. He picked up a small sculpted claw from a table, eyeing it distastefully. She walked to his side, and took the claw out of his hand. She set it back on the table.
"Draco, there's really no need to thank me. I haven't done a thing for you."
"That's besides the point." He pressed a hand to his forehead. It looked like it was already healed. "Virginia, what I'm trying to tell you is…well…"
He cleared his throat. Ginny stared at the claw. It was hideous. And quite scary looking. But she was trying to remain calm. Was he going to say what she thought he was going to say?
"I won't be able to see you again."
Ginny blinked. No, that wasn't it. That wasn't it at all.
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He wanted her to leave. Her wanted away from her. As soon as possible. Draco couldn't bear her presence for another moment. He was so confused. So conflicted. He didn't need to deal with this right now. For Merlin's sake, he will be joining the Dark Lord on Friday. His birthday.
Damn. He cleared his throat. This wasn't working out quite like he had hoped. He had hoped that he would be able to vent his insecurities to Virginia. He had hoped she'd simply praise him for his courage, boosting his confidence.
Instead? He was standing here with her, feeling awkward and confused.
"I won't be able to see you again."
There. He'd said it. Now she can do whatever she'd like. As long as she knew that after they walked back to the castle, he'd never see her again.
He'd never look at her in the hallways. Or in the Great Hall during meals. He wouldn't speak to her. He wouldn't hold her. Or be held. But he would miss her. His heart was already aching, just imagining.
He looked to her face, trying to judge the reaction. She looked shocked. Perhaps she wasn't expecting that.
"You understand, don't you?"
He winced at his words. There was a cut in his voice. It came out rather harsher than he had meant it to. She winced, too.
"Oh, of course," she slammed the claw back onto the table. "But, Draco –"
"No. Virginia."
She shoulders sagged. Whatever fight she had remaining was extinguished.
"If that's what you want. But I want you to know…that if you ever need to talk…about anything…Draco, I'm here."
He took a deep breath, admiring her for her sympathetic nature, at the same time repulsed by overwhelming compassion. The damn compassion.
"We'd better go, Virginia. It's nearly dinnertime."
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U2 – Even Better Than the Real Thing
The Strokes – Hard to Explain
Weezer – Island in the Sun
Cake – Hem of your Garment
Moby – We Are All Made of Stars
Madonna – Don't Tell Me
Foo Fighters – Walking After You
Smashing Pumpkins – 1979
Oasis – Wonderwall
Foo Fighters – Everlong
The Verve – Bittersweet Symphony
www.lorddave.com/evenbetter/readerrec.htm
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Sorry it's short, I ended up splitting it in two. So what is Chapter 10 & 11 was originally Chapter 10. Turned out to be too long and too discontinuous. And so sorry it took so long. As a treat, I've updated the website with millions of new pictures. Mostly of Draco. So check it out!!
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Enjoy! And please review!!!