Hello again! Guess what? I'm sick V_V
My head hurts immensely and I feel like smashing it with a hammer! Sounds
fun eh? *grabs hammer and raises above head* what do you think? Should I do
it? *You guys nod and grin evilly* Ok, but I won't be able to finish this
fic with a smashed head... *you guys take hammer and throw it in the bin*
Alrightey... guess I aint gonna be smashing my head with a hammer then!
Sorry about that, I'm afraid I'm beginning to become slightly delirious from this achy head, but have no fear- I'll just write some insane plots!
Nah, I think I'll have to keep going from where I was before... Riku and Katarina... on the paopu tree... -alone- *shudder* sorry, I have to create angst out of something and Kat seemed like the perfect place! Did you know I got the inspiration from the new girl at school? True story, she's blonde too! And rather... um... *coughsluttycough* BUT she's nice, unlike the Kat in this story who's pretty annoying and stupid... well I'll leave you guys to it, but before I do, I'll thank those who reviewed!
Thanks to-
Heather Christi- well I'd love to comfort you but... erm... yes, he did, he kissed her. *dodges shoe thrown by Heather* HEY!! It'll all work out for the best... eventually... anyway, thanks for always reviewing and stuff (I can never say that enough!!!)
Dark Silicon- yeah sorry about the cliffhanger, heh... but I do update quickly enough so it's ok!! ^_^ I'll try not to have too many... and yeah, I was hoping the prologue would have that effect, thank you SO much for saying that!!!
TRT14- I'll try not making it too sad... it hurts me to do so too ya know! But anywho, you're right- Kat will never win Ri's heart!!! I might not want to make this sad after a while lol
Evilmini86- YAY, long review!! ^_^ Yes, well to clear up all that stuff about "realize" and "apologize", that's American spelling and in Australia (yep, I'm an Australian, and no we don't ride kangaroos to school) we use "s" in some words instead of the "z"! Thanks for all those tips- I'm always open to em!! Yeah I know, I might stop making this a sad ending... perhaps... but then I don't know how it would make sense!! Or maybe I'll make a sequel... and then that can end up happy... yeah, maybe that... well I'm rambling now, so cya, and keep reviewing! (By the way, I read your fic and it's absolutely hilarious!!!)
Kyari- Thank you, and you're story was absolutely excellent, please update soon!! Yeah I love angst and romance, they do go well together don't they? Well thanks again
Anna Chibi- Oh yeah... I almost forgot about that nervous brown-haired girl!! Good idea, I'll have to bring her into this, I'm starting to get some ideas now... THANKS!!! ^_^ Anyway, sorry about not updating for ages but I've been... *cough*... busy...
Also thanks to- CursedAngelofSephiroth, Sora otaku, Sora Lover: Angel of Darkness, Dearest, broccoli
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I was missing Sora immensely, and I never knew how much I truly valued the time I spent with him until I wasn't with him, when I wasn't on speaking terms with him... I still couldn't determine whose fault that was. Maybe a little of us both, it seemed about right.
I sighed and felt a figure jolt beside me. 'That's right, Katarina's here...' I thought as I pulled away from her and positioned myself around. She positioned herself around as well, to face me, and plopped her delicate chin in her hands.
"Riku, what do you think of me?" she asked, looking up at me with those big buggy eyes.
"Sweet as apple pie," I said flatly, sarcastically.
"Hmph!" she sulked, and pouted dramatically... just how Sora would...
I bit my lip for a moment and then swiftly pressed my lips against hers. She deepened the kiss and let out a muffled laugh as I felt tears burning down my cheeks.
'So this is the comfort I've chosen?' I thought as I felt myself choking back sobs, letting the tears fall freely down my face as I inertly kissed her. 'Can I even call this a kiss?' I thought as she sought to deepen the kiss, and I let her... how foolish...
Suddenly I heard laughing from the bridge and my head snapped apart from Kat's at the thought of someone seeing me kiss her, my only form of comfort right now.
There was Kairi, standing on the bridge and giggling with her hand over her mouth... and her other hand entwined with someone else's hand... Sora's hand...
"Hey lovebirds!" Kairi giggled, almost dragging a wide-eyed Sora towards us. I dropped my head to look at my feet and wiped away the wetness of my cheeks. I edged away from Kat uncomfortably, and looked down at Kairi to avoid looking embarrassed by keeping my head low.
"Kairi, I've got to go home, mum wanted me to do some... stuff..." piped up a cracked voiced Sora.
"Aw... well then should I come and help?" said Kairi, turning to him and smiling sweetly. Sora shook his head and pulled his hand free, running swiftly away from us.
"Actually... I've got to... do stuff for mum too," I said unsteadily as I ran off, hearing Kat yell after me, "But your house is THAT way Riku!"
I smiled bitterly and kept at my steady pace towards Sora's house. 'Now or never,' I thought, swallowing my pride and knocking on the door that faced me... but not in our trademark knock... it felt weird...
I heard a sigh as someone opened the door. It was Sora's mum with a sad frown implanted on her face.
"Oh, Riku!" she said delightedly as she pulled me inside and closed the door behind me. 'No running back now,' I thought, gulping as I looked at Sora's mum expectantly.
"He's upstairs, in his room. I just can't figure out why he's so depressed all of a sudden... I won't make you tell me, but I will make you cheer him up!" she giggled. Even though she wasn't serious, I felt bad... I had caused this pain for him, and I felt like telling her so. Of course, then she would tell me to leave and I would be back where I started, so I decided to just smile and nod at her, ascending the stairs slowly.
That was the slowest time of my life, ascending those stairs, just thinking about what I would say, if I would even be able to say anything.
I froze and just stood there, facing the door. I said the words in my head again, 'It's now or never Riku.' I nodded to myself and reached out to the knob shakily. At the cold touch of the metal through my glove, I flinched, hanging my head shamefully wondering how I had let myself get so shaken from something so minor as this was.
'But it'll change my life forever...'
I opened my mouth in question of the statement I had just made, wondering how this could possibly change my life if I could just talk to Sora. I almost felt like I knew something I just couldn't put my finger on... whatever it was...
I realised I had been standing there, mouth open, hand on doorknob, for ages. I shook my head at my ridiculousness and sucked in a choked breath as I turned the knob. It stopped midway. 'He's locked it, of course he has,' I thought, gritting my teeth at how seemingly difficult it was turning out to be.
I brushed my hand through the ends of my hair, wondering if I should just knock... or whether I should just leave.
"Just give it a knock hun," said Sora's mum with a raised questioning eyebrow, returning to her conversation on the phone. I gave her a weak forced smiled and shut my eyes briefly. I raised a tightly clenched hand up to eye level and tapped timidly at the door. I waited...
'He's not coming...' I thought, as a feeling of hurt and disappointment passed through my mind. I sighed and swivelled around, my hair slapping me in the face before I trudged slowly towards the stairs.
'I'm giving up?' I thought with annoyance at myself. I raised my head and smiled sadly, sighing once more as I turned back around and strode hurriedly towards the door. I jerked my hand at the knob and rattled it forcefully.
"Sora!" I yelled, trying not to sound as desperate as I really was. I
raised the fist I wasn't using to rattle the doorknob with and thrashed on the door with it, yelling his name over and over again. I stopped attacking his door, panting from the energy it took to almost beat the door down. I put my ear to the door to hear if Sora was coming to get the door, but all I could hear was unsteady breathing from inside the room.
"Sora..." I growled irritably, clenching my fists harder, knowing that if my hands weren't gloved my nails would have drawn blood by now. I thrust my hand towards the knob once more and rattled it harder, as loud as I possibly could.
Suddenly I heard a click and I felt the knob turn around the whole way smoothly. My eyes widened at the fact that I had just unlocked Sora's door from the other side. 'Crappy lock,' I thought, smiling briefly before I pushed the door slowly. I entered the room reluctantly, nervousness that Sora would scream for me to get out.
I curved my neck around the corner, peering in at the cluttered room. I scanned the room for Sora, raising my eyebrows at the thought of him hiding from me. Then I saw the bundle in the bed, scruffy brown spikes protruding from the blankets. I felt a wave of guilt at how I had been battering the door, thinking Sora was simply ignoring me.
I walked over to the twisted covers and swallowed. 'What does this remind me of?' I thought bitterly, as I reached out to pull away the bedspread away from his face. I immediately felt awful when I did, seeing the streaked cheeks and worried expression that had implanted itself on his face even when he was sleeping. I could see how puffy his eyes were, and wondered how long he had been crying for.
I pulled off my gloves and lay them on the bedside table, wanting to touch his delicate looking cheek, and become familiar with my best friend's touch again.
'That's right, best friend, you keep telling yourself that.'
I bit my lip hard, wondering where this second voice had come from. Lately it had been emerging so much, confusing me with things I didn't think I felt... things that I was sure were just my mind telling me possibilities that were now open...
I shook my head to try and free it from the thoughts that I couldn't deter, and reached out shyly towards Sora, feeling the soft, wet surface of his cheek. I pushed his bangs out of his face and smiled tenderly at the wonderful weight that I could feel lifting off of my heart.
I sighed quietly and felt like soothingly waking him up, softly and sweetly, but I knew this was the very same Sora and I would have to shake him to get him up. I pulled the blanket away from him gently, exposing his bare shoulder and making him look strangely vulnerable. I could feel my eyes narrowing at his bare skin, and took a deep breath to steady myself.
I wiped my sweaty hands on my pants and cupped his shoulders gently, feeling him flinch automatically from the contact. I shook him lightly, whispering his name as he screwed up his face.
"S-Sora... um, Sora?" I said, trying my hardest to raise my voice higher than the whisper it had come out as when I last tried to say his name.
I kept shaking him, and I was beginning to feel uncomfortable. I longed for him to wake up just so I could let go of him.
"Mmm... Mmm?" mumbled Sora sadly, flopping his hand at me in a motion telling me he wanted to keep sleeping.
I cleared my throat, ready to speak up so he could hear and recognise my voice, rather than thinking I was his mum or something.
"Sora, wake up!" I said croakily, but still audibly.
Sora's eyes immediately snapped open, and I jerked my hands back from his shoulders. I smiled coolly, and had to stop myself from giving him that mocking look I always used on him. He bolted upright, the blankets falling down to expose his bare chest. He squealed something in a whisper, and I backed away slightly, still feeling a little intimidated by his feelings for me.
"Sora..." I started, trying to get the words out, to tell him that kissing Kat had just been a means of comfort, to say sorry like I had meant to. But... now that I was here it didn't seem to be so easy.
Sora's red eyes widened at the sound of his name, and pulled up the blanket to his chest with fumbling fingers. I felt very sympathetic at that gesture, because I knew how it was to feel exposed and naked to someone. I never really realised that Sora could be feeling that same way too...
I took a deep breath and began to talk slowly to the wide-eyed boy in front of me, who was just sitting there waiting for me to explain why I was here.
"I'msorrySora," I blurted out, trying to hide the scowl that had automatically formed on my lips. Saying sorry to Sora was so hard, when I knew that I had gone through just as much pain as he had... though that still gave me no justification for kissing Katarina.
"For what?" Sora said shakily, and I had the feeling that he was meaning to say "For which part?" rather than questioning if I needed to be sorry.
"I just needed comfort and... she was the only one there and... I didn't mean to... I don't even like her... I mean-"
"Riku," Sora butted in, "please, stop talking." he murmured and turned away from me. I swear I saw a tear escape his eye as he turned away. I felt the singing sensation of a sudden rush of tears fill my eyes, and now I didn't care if Sora saw me. Maybe then he would believe me. A single wet tear streaked the side of my face, and once that had escaped, the rest came out in hot trails down my cheeks.
"Don't turn away from me Sora!" I cried out in a cracked voice.
Sora turned a sorrow-filled face towards me. He made an almost silent gasp at my crying, and turned back towards me. He didn't know what to do, how to comfort me... he didn't even know if I wanted comfort from him... Well how could he? I didn't even know if I wanted comfort from him.
"R-Riku... um, are you ok?" he said uneasily. I nodded in response, but I knew that wasn't all I would be able to say. I would have to tell him about what this was doing to me.
"Sora, do you even realise how much this all screws everything up?" I started with a sigh. Sora looked a little taken back, and slightly hurt, but it had to be said, "We're best friends Sora, what happened to that? When did that end?"
Sora opened his mouth to answer me, but shut it almost immediately and bit his lip.
"Ok Sora, I'm sorry. You know I am, or else I wouldn't have said so, but... I don't know, you just have to understand how much this is confusing me, not to mention hurting me."
"How is it confusing you?" Sora piped in, with a trembling lip and watery eyes. I clenched my eyes shut and let out a sad sigh, preparing myself to come up with an answer, without sounding like I was questioning my sexuality.
"I don't know... I guess I just don't know how long it's been like this, and now everything's turned around, and I've only just learnt about the lie I've been living," I blurted out suddenly. I felt bad, because even though it was true, that's not what had been confusing me. I knew what head been confusing me, it was that damned second voice that popped up in my mind any time I tried to justify how I felt. The voice that told me the possibilities that couldn't be, the possibilities that were open yet impossible to me.
I realised that I had just been standing there, staring past Sora, while he fumbled awkwardly and shifted his gaze all around the room. I reached out my hand without thinking, to comfort him, and he flinched at the contact made by my bare hand to his neck. He looked up at me with scared eyes and I realised what I was doing. I pulled my hand back and straightened my face as though I hadn't done anything at all. Sora looked at me confusedly and touched the top of his neck where I had touched him, fingering the spot gently with slender tanned fingers.
"Riku," he began to say, with the confusion sticking in his eyes, "what are you doing here?"
I sighed once more at his bluntness and shook my head, wondering why I really was standing here, by Sora.
"Look... You think I'm not hurting like you?" I said, slightly snapping. Sora just looked at me with those big watery eyes, still dripping with tears. I bit my lip, wondering what to say now that I knew I was stuck. I didn't know how to answer him, because all I wanted was to be his best friend again.
"Riku... How do you really feel about this?" Sora exclaimed nervously.
"About what?" I answered, with raised eyebrows.
"When you read that... I was... well, gay... What did you think?"
"Sora, being gay doesn't change you at all," I said, smiling warmly yet confusedly.
"Then what does?" he said calmly. I looked at him with surprise, not only at his calmness, but also at the strangeness of the question.
"You know what," I answered quietly, looking down at my feet.
"Why does it matter? You're still my best friend... you've always know I love you, right? No, I mean... just, like friends... Well, what's the difference then? Can't we just still be friends? You love me like a friend, and don't you dare deny it," said Sora, more maturely than I had ever seen him before.
"Of course I do Sora, I wouldn't lie to you like that... but I don't know how to explain why I'm so scared."
"Maybe this will help you find out," Sora said in a husky voice, leaning closer to me, and brushing away a strand of stray hair in front of my eyes. His mouth sought mine hungrily, and they pressed against me desperately. I just stood there, limp and scared and crying, with the comfort of Sora's kiss drawing me further into this new world that had begun just a few hours ago.
That night was the night I realised I was really in love... that the second voice was right. I still wouldn't let myself believe it though, and my naivety towards the situation astounds me still, to this very day. It was only then that I really began to understand my angel...
(A/N: Ok guys, Australian Idol just finished and the winner, Guy Sebastion, just released his new song, which fits perfectly with this fic. It's the perfect song for this story, and I was so happy when I heard it!!! It's a very pretty song, so read it and I hope it makes you as happy as it made me!!)
It's been a long and winding journey
But I'm finally here tonight
Picking up the pieces
Walking back into the light
To the sunset of your glory
Where my heart and future lies
There's nothing like that feeling
When I look into your eyes
My dreams came true
When I found you
I found you, my miracle
If you could see what I see
That you're the answer to my prayers
And if you can feel
The tenderness I feel
You would know
It would be clear
That angels brought me here
Standing here before you
Feels like I've been born again
Every breath is your love
Every heartbeat speaks your name
My dreams came true
Right here in front of you
My miracle
If you could see what I see
You're the answer to my prayers
If you could feel
The tenderness I feel
You would know
It would be clear
That angels brought me here
Brought me here to be with you
I'd be forever grateful Oh, forever faithful
My dreams came true
When I found you
My miracle
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Ok, well I liked that chappie, coz Sora and Riku FINALLY kissed ^_^ *claps and twirls around doing a happy dance* Of course, there's going to be a lot more complications involving our lovely couple, but it'll all eventually work out, ok? Well... thanks for reviewing, keep on at it!!! Hugglez to you all!!
xoxo Eva McBeava
Sorry about that, I'm afraid I'm beginning to become slightly delirious from this achy head, but have no fear- I'll just write some insane plots!
Nah, I think I'll have to keep going from where I was before... Riku and Katarina... on the paopu tree... -alone- *shudder* sorry, I have to create angst out of something and Kat seemed like the perfect place! Did you know I got the inspiration from the new girl at school? True story, she's blonde too! And rather... um... *coughsluttycough* BUT she's nice, unlike the Kat in this story who's pretty annoying and stupid... well I'll leave you guys to it, but before I do, I'll thank those who reviewed!
Thanks to-
Heather Christi- well I'd love to comfort you but... erm... yes, he did, he kissed her. *dodges shoe thrown by Heather* HEY!! It'll all work out for the best... eventually... anyway, thanks for always reviewing and stuff (I can never say that enough!!!)
Dark Silicon- yeah sorry about the cliffhanger, heh... but I do update quickly enough so it's ok!! ^_^ I'll try not to have too many... and yeah, I was hoping the prologue would have that effect, thank you SO much for saying that!!!
TRT14- I'll try not making it too sad... it hurts me to do so too ya know! But anywho, you're right- Kat will never win Ri's heart!!! I might not want to make this sad after a while lol
Evilmini86- YAY, long review!! ^_^ Yes, well to clear up all that stuff about "realize" and "apologize", that's American spelling and in Australia (yep, I'm an Australian, and no we don't ride kangaroos to school) we use "s" in some words instead of the "z"! Thanks for all those tips- I'm always open to em!! Yeah I know, I might stop making this a sad ending... perhaps... but then I don't know how it would make sense!! Or maybe I'll make a sequel... and then that can end up happy... yeah, maybe that... well I'm rambling now, so cya, and keep reviewing! (By the way, I read your fic and it's absolutely hilarious!!!)
Kyari- Thank you, and you're story was absolutely excellent, please update soon!! Yeah I love angst and romance, they do go well together don't they? Well thanks again
Anna Chibi- Oh yeah... I almost forgot about that nervous brown-haired girl!! Good idea, I'll have to bring her into this, I'm starting to get some ideas now... THANKS!!! ^_^ Anyway, sorry about not updating for ages but I've been... *cough*... busy...
Also thanks to- CursedAngelofSephiroth, Sora otaku, Sora Lover: Angel of Darkness, Dearest, broccoli
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I was missing Sora immensely, and I never knew how much I truly valued the time I spent with him until I wasn't with him, when I wasn't on speaking terms with him... I still couldn't determine whose fault that was. Maybe a little of us both, it seemed about right.
I sighed and felt a figure jolt beside me. 'That's right, Katarina's here...' I thought as I pulled away from her and positioned myself around. She positioned herself around as well, to face me, and plopped her delicate chin in her hands.
"Riku, what do you think of me?" she asked, looking up at me with those big buggy eyes.
"Sweet as apple pie," I said flatly, sarcastically.
"Hmph!" she sulked, and pouted dramatically... just how Sora would...
I bit my lip for a moment and then swiftly pressed my lips against hers. She deepened the kiss and let out a muffled laugh as I felt tears burning down my cheeks.
'So this is the comfort I've chosen?' I thought as I felt myself choking back sobs, letting the tears fall freely down my face as I inertly kissed her. 'Can I even call this a kiss?' I thought as she sought to deepen the kiss, and I let her... how foolish...
Suddenly I heard laughing from the bridge and my head snapped apart from Kat's at the thought of someone seeing me kiss her, my only form of comfort right now.
There was Kairi, standing on the bridge and giggling with her hand over her mouth... and her other hand entwined with someone else's hand... Sora's hand...
"Hey lovebirds!" Kairi giggled, almost dragging a wide-eyed Sora towards us. I dropped my head to look at my feet and wiped away the wetness of my cheeks. I edged away from Kat uncomfortably, and looked down at Kairi to avoid looking embarrassed by keeping my head low.
"Kairi, I've got to go home, mum wanted me to do some... stuff..." piped up a cracked voiced Sora.
"Aw... well then should I come and help?" said Kairi, turning to him and smiling sweetly. Sora shook his head and pulled his hand free, running swiftly away from us.
"Actually... I've got to... do stuff for mum too," I said unsteadily as I ran off, hearing Kat yell after me, "But your house is THAT way Riku!"
I smiled bitterly and kept at my steady pace towards Sora's house. 'Now or never,' I thought, swallowing my pride and knocking on the door that faced me... but not in our trademark knock... it felt weird...
I heard a sigh as someone opened the door. It was Sora's mum with a sad frown implanted on her face.
"Oh, Riku!" she said delightedly as she pulled me inside and closed the door behind me. 'No running back now,' I thought, gulping as I looked at Sora's mum expectantly.
"He's upstairs, in his room. I just can't figure out why he's so depressed all of a sudden... I won't make you tell me, but I will make you cheer him up!" she giggled. Even though she wasn't serious, I felt bad... I had caused this pain for him, and I felt like telling her so. Of course, then she would tell me to leave and I would be back where I started, so I decided to just smile and nod at her, ascending the stairs slowly.
That was the slowest time of my life, ascending those stairs, just thinking about what I would say, if I would even be able to say anything.
I froze and just stood there, facing the door. I said the words in my head again, 'It's now or never Riku.' I nodded to myself and reached out to the knob shakily. At the cold touch of the metal through my glove, I flinched, hanging my head shamefully wondering how I had let myself get so shaken from something so minor as this was.
'But it'll change my life forever...'
I opened my mouth in question of the statement I had just made, wondering how this could possibly change my life if I could just talk to Sora. I almost felt like I knew something I just couldn't put my finger on... whatever it was...
I realised I had been standing there, mouth open, hand on doorknob, for ages. I shook my head at my ridiculousness and sucked in a choked breath as I turned the knob. It stopped midway. 'He's locked it, of course he has,' I thought, gritting my teeth at how seemingly difficult it was turning out to be.
I brushed my hand through the ends of my hair, wondering if I should just knock... or whether I should just leave.
"Just give it a knock hun," said Sora's mum with a raised questioning eyebrow, returning to her conversation on the phone. I gave her a weak forced smiled and shut my eyes briefly. I raised a tightly clenched hand up to eye level and tapped timidly at the door. I waited...
'He's not coming...' I thought, as a feeling of hurt and disappointment passed through my mind. I sighed and swivelled around, my hair slapping me in the face before I trudged slowly towards the stairs.
'I'm giving up?' I thought with annoyance at myself. I raised my head and smiled sadly, sighing once more as I turned back around and strode hurriedly towards the door. I jerked my hand at the knob and rattled it forcefully.
"Sora!" I yelled, trying not to sound as desperate as I really was. I
raised the fist I wasn't using to rattle the doorknob with and thrashed on the door with it, yelling his name over and over again. I stopped attacking his door, panting from the energy it took to almost beat the door down. I put my ear to the door to hear if Sora was coming to get the door, but all I could hear was unsteady breathing from inside the room.
"Sora..." I growled irritably, clenching my fists harder, knowing that if my hands weren't gloved my nails would have drawn blood by now. I thrust my hand towards the knob once more and rattled it harder, as loud as I possibly could.
Suddenly I heard a click and I felt the knob turn around the whole way smoothly. My eyes widened at the fact that I had just unlocked Sora's door from the other side. 'Crappy lock,' I thought, smiling briefly before I pushed the door slowly. I entered the room reluctantly, nervousness that Sora would scream for me to get out.
I curved my neck around the corner, peering in at the cluttered room. I scanned the room for Sora, raising my eyebrows at the thought of him hiding from me. Then I saw the bundle in the bed, scruffy brown spikes protruding from the blankets. I felt a wave of guilt at how I had been battering the door, thinking Sora was simply ignoring me.
I walked over to the twisted covers and swallowed. 'What does this remind me of?' I thought bitterly, as I reached out to pull away the bedspread away from his face. I immediately felt awful when I did, seeing the streaked cheeks and worried expression that had implanted itself on his face even when he was sleeping. I could see how puffy his eyes were, and wondered how long he had been crying for.
I pulled off my gloves and lay them on the bedside table, wanting to touch his delicate looking cheek, and become familiar with my best friend's touch again.
'That's right, best friend, you keep telling yourself that.'
I bit my lip hard, wondering where this second voice had come from. Lately it had been emerging so much, confusing me with things I didn't think I felt... things that I was sure were just my mind telling me possibilities that were now open...
I shook my head to try and free it from the thoughts that I couldn't deter, and reached out shyly towards Sora, feeling the soft, wet surface of his cheek. I pushed his bangs out of his face and smiled tenderly at the wonderful weight that I could feel lifting off of my heart.
I sighed quietly and felt like soothingly waking him up, softly and sweetly, but I knew this was the very same Sora and I would have to shake him to get him up. I pulled the blanket away from him gently, exposing his bare shoulder and making him look strangely vulnerable. I could feel my eyes narrowing at his bare skin, and took a deep breath to steady myself.
I wiped my sweaty hands on my pants and cupped his shoulders gently, feeling him flinch automatically from the contact. I shook him lightly, whispering his name as he screwed up his face.
"S-Sora... um, Sora?" I said, trying my hardest to raise my voice higher than the whisper it had come out as when I last tried to say his name.
I kept shaking him, and I was beginning to feel uncomfortable. I longed for him to wake up just so I could let go of him.
"Mmm... Mmm?" mumbled Sora sadly, flopping his hand at me in a motion telling me he wanted to keep sleeping.
I cleared my throat, ready to speak up so he could hear and recognise my voice, rather than thinking I was his mum or something.
"Sora, wake up!" I said croakily, but still audibly.
Sora's eyes immediately snapped open, and I jerked my hands back from his shoulders. I smiled coolly, and had to stop myself from giving him that mocking look I always used on him. He bolted upright, the blankets falling down to expose his bare chest. He squealed something in a whisper, and I backed away slightly, still feeling a little intimidated by his feelings for me.
"Sora..." I started, trying to get the words out, to tell him that kissing Kat had just been a means of comfort, to say sorry like I had meant to. But... now that I was here it didn't seem to be so easy.
Sora's red eyes widened at the sound of his name, and pulled up the blanket to his chest with fumbling fingers. I felt very sympathetic at that gesture, because I knew how it was to feel exposed and naked to someone. I never really realised that Sora could be feeling that same way too...
I took a deep breath and began to talk slowly to the wide-eyed boy in front of me, who was just sitting there waiting for me to explain why I was here.
"I'msorrySora," I blurted out, trying to hide the scowl that had automatically formed on my lips. Saying sorry to Sora was so hard, when I knew that I had gone through just as much pain as he had... though that still gave me no justification for kissing Katarina.
"For what?" Sora said shakily, and I had the feeling that he was meaning to say "For which part?" rather than questioning if I needed to be sorry.
"I just needed comfort and... she was the only one there and... I didn't mean to... I don't even like her... I mean-"
"Riku," Sora butted in, "please, stop talking." he murmured and turned away from me. I swear I saw a tear escape his eye as he turned away. I felt the singing sensation of a sudden rush of tears fill my eyes, and now I didn't care if Sora saw me. Maybe then he would believe me. A single wet tear streaked the side of my face, and once that had escaped, the rest came out in hot trails down my cheeks.
"Don't turn away from me Sora!" I cried out in a cracked voice.
Sora turned a sorrow-filled face towards me. He made an almost silent gasp at my crying, and turned back towards me. He didn't know what to do, how to comfort me... he didn't even know if I wanted comfort from him... Well how could he? I didn't even know if I wanted comfort from him.
"R-Riku... um, are you ok?" he said uneasily. I nodded in response, but I knew that wasn't all I would be able to say. I would have to tell him about what this was doing to me.
"Sora, do you even realise how much this all screws everything up?" I started with a sigh. Sora looked a little taken back, and slightly hurt, but it had to be said, "We're best friends Sora, what happened to that? When did that end?"
Sora opened his mouth to answer me, but shut it almost immediately and bit his lip.
"Ok Sora, I'm sorry. You know I am, or else I wouldn't have said so, but... I don't know, you just have to understand how much this is confusing me, not to mention hurting me."
"How is it confusing you?" Sora piped in, with a trembling lip and watery eyes. I clenched my eyes shut and let out a sad sigh, preparing myself to come up with an answer, without sounding like I was questioning my sexuality.
"I don't know... I guess I just don't know how long it's been like this, and now everything's turned around, and I've only just learnt about the lie I've been living," I blurted out suddenly. I felt bad, because even though it was true, that's not what had been confusing me. I knew what head been confusing me, it was that damned second voice that popped up in my mind any time I tried to justify how I felt. The voice that told me the possibilities that couldn't be, the possibilities that were open yet impossible to me.
I realised that I had just been standing there, staring past Sora, while he fumbled awkwardly and shifted his gaze all around the room. I reached out my hand without thinking, to comfort him, and he flinched at the contact made by my bare hand to his neck. He looked up at me with scared eyes and I realised what I was doing. I pulled my hand back and straightened my face as though I hadn't done anything at all. Sora looked at me confusedly and touched the top of his neck where I had touched him, fingering the spot gently with slender tanned fingers.
"Riku," he began to say, with the confusion sticking in his eyes, "what are you doing here?"
I sighed once more at his bluntness and shook my head, wondering why I really was standing here, by Sora.
"Look... You think I'm not hurting like you?" I said, slightly snapping. Sora just looked at me with those big watery eyes, still dripping with tears. I bit my lip, wondering what to say now that I knew I was stuck. I didn't know how to answer him, because all I wanted was to be his best friend again.
"Riku... How do you really feel about this?" Sora exclaimed nervously.
"About what?" I answered, with raised eyebrows.
"When you read that... I was... well, gay... What did you think?"
"Sora, being gay doesn't change you at all," I said, smiling warmly yet confusedly.
"Then what does?" he said calmly. I looked at him with surprise, not only at his calmness, but also at the strangeness of the question.
"You know what," I answered quietly, looking down at my feet.
"Why does it matter? You're still my best friend... you've always know I love you, right? No, I mean... just, like friends... Well, what's the difference then? Can't we just still be friends? You love me like a friend, and don't you dare deny it," said Sora, more maturely than I had ever seen him before.
"Of course I do Sora, I wouldn't lie to you like that... but I don't know how to explain why I'm so scared."
"Maybe this will help you find out," Sora said in a husky voice, leaning closer to me, and brushing away a strand of stray hair in front of my eyes. His mouth sought mine hungrily, and they pressed against me desperately. I just stood there, limp and scared and crying, with the comfort of Sora's kiss drawing me further into this new world that had begun just a few hours ago.
That night was the night I realised I was really in love... that the second voice was right. I still wouldn't let myself believe it though, and my naivety towards the situation astounds me still, to this very day. It was only then that I really began to understand my angel...
(A/N: Ok guys, Australian Idol just finished and the winner, Guy Sebastion, just released his new song, which fits perfectly with this fic. It's the perfect song for this story, and I was so happy when I heard it!!! It's a very pretty song, so read it and I hope it makes you as happy as it made me!!)
It's been a long and winding journey
But I'm finally here tonight
Picking up the pieces
Walking back into the light
To the sunset of your glory
Where my heart and future lies
There's nothing like that feeling
When I look into your eyes
My dreams came true
When I found you
I found you, my miracle
If you could see what I see
That you're the answer to my prayers
And if you can feel
The tenderness I feel
You would know
It would be clear
That angels brought me here
Standing here before you
Feels like I've been born again
Every breath is your love
Every heartbeat speaks your name
My dreams came true
Right here in front of you
My miracle
If you could see what I see
You're the answer to my prayers
If you could feel
The tenderness I feel
You would know
It would be clear
That angels brought me here
Brought me here to be with you
I'd be forever grateful Oh, forever faithful
My dreams came true
When I found you
My miracle
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Ok, well I liked that chappie, coz Sora and Riku FINALLY kissed ^_^ *claps and twirls around doing a happy dance* Of course, there's going to be a lot more complications involving our lovely couple, but it'll all eventually work out, ok? Well... thanks for reviewing, keep on at it!!! Hugglez to you all!!
xoxo Eva McBeava