Disclaimer: It may come as no surprise that I do not own Harry Potter,
characters, settings, merchandise, Oreos, Cheese Nips, est. nor am I making
a profit of any sort but the satisfaction of people reading and enjoying my
fics! R&R : )
The Hogwart's class trip to the supermarket
Chapter 1: Why magical people should never go to the grocery store
On the bus (They have to take a bus b/c the train says Platform 9 ¾.) Neville: We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz! Harry: Um, Neville, we're just going to the supermarket... Neville: Oh...*turns red* Hermione: I can't wait to see everyone's reactions to a muggle store. They're really quite big, you know. Ron: What kind of food is there, Hermione? Hermione: Oh, lots. Basically every type of food in the food pyramid. Ron: The what? There's a pyramid made out of food? Hermione: *sighs* Never mind. Ron: Is there butterbeer or chocolate frogs? Hermione: There's no butterbeer, but there is chocolate frogs; they don't jump though. Ron: What a rip off!
On the top layer of the bus, where Draco is sitting w/ Crabbe and Goyle. Draco: I can't believe we're going to a stupid muggle supermarket. I mean, what's the point? We have every kind of food at Hogwarts!
*Crabbe and Goyle laugh stupidly*
In the front of the bus, where Dumbledore is sitting with the faculty.* Dumbledore: We're off to the supermarket, the wonderful supermarket. Snape: *looks annoyed* Albus, can I ask you why we are taking the students on a trip to the supermarket? Dumbledore: Why not? Can you think of a good reason not to? Snape: How about class. Dumbledore: Oh, loosen your wedgie, Severus. Everyone needs a break once in a while.
On the top layer of the bus, where Draco is sitting.* Draco: How about we think of a way to annoy Potter and his stupid friends. *Crabbe and Goyle grunt in agreement.*
*The bus arrives at the supermarket called Weis. (I don't know if there's a Weis in Britain. If there isn't, then just think there is for this fic.) *Everyone gasps in awe. Everyone except the Slytherins and muggle-borns, of course.
Ron: Wow, I never saw a muggle supermarket before! Dad told me about them though. He once went in one, and mum was looking for him for an hour! He came out with about ten bags filled with all sorts of toys in round, clear plastic containers. Mum was fuming mad!
Harry: The Dursley's took me to one once, and made me bag the groceries.
Hermione: Uh...I go to them all the time in the summer. They have food, magazines, plants, pet food, toothpaste, plastic jewelry, and a lot more.
Dumbledore: Now, I realize this is a field trip. But, the Ministry of Magic thinks it needs to be "educational." So, I have made a scavenger hunt. Split into groups of three, find the items, and pay for them with the muggle money I have converted. Whoever pays for their items first wins. *McGonagall hands out muggle money to everyone.* Dumbledore: Oh, and there are these rather clever machines in there I like to call the "junk machines" Just don't waist all your time and money buying stuff from them, and good luck! *Dumbledore ambles to the junk machines in the lobby of the Weis, pockets full of quarters.*
Draco: This is a lot of money. *He carefully counts it all.* Hey...we don't really have to spend it on groceries, do we guys? *Crabbe and Goyle stare blankly at him; McGonagall hears what Draco said and strides over to him.*
McGonagall: Mr. Malfoy, if I find that you spend so much as a pound on something other than something that's on the list, you will be rewarded with a detention and 50 points from your house. Do I make myself clear?
Malfoy: But Dumbledore said we could buy stuff from the junk machines?
McGonagall: That's b/c it's on the list. Now get a move on, you're wasting time. *Draco runs into the store, determined to win the scavenger hunt.*
*Harry's group* Harry: *reading list* So the first thing we need to get is 3 items from the junk machines. *They stroll to the junk machines in the lobby.* Ron: Holy butterbeers! Look at all the stuff you can get! Hermione: Don't hold your breath, Ron. Everything's either plastic or cheap metal. Ron: Oh...what are you going to get, Harry? Harry: I don't know, hey there's candy too. Ron: Really? Maybe I'll get some... Hermione: Well hurry up, we're in this to win! Harry: Why do you want to win so bad, Hermione? Hermione: We can't let Malfoy and the Gits win, can we? Harry: You're right. OK, I'll get...um...er... *Hermione puts her 50 pence piece in the slot, turns the handle, and out pops a metal ring with a plastic jewel in a clear plastic container.* Hermione: Ha! Just what I wanted! *Harry does the same to another machine and gets a mini My Little Pony. Everyone stares at him.* Harry: What? I was aiming for the army figure! *turns red* *Ron puts his 50 pence piece in a machine but can't get the handle to turn.* Hermione: Ron, you turn it the other way. Ron: What? Oh, *blushes* thanks. *He turns it the right way and out pops a green slime ball in a plastic container* Excellent!
Harry: Ok, lets go.
Ron: Wait, I...can't....get...this...open! aarrrg
Hermione: Why do you want to open that now, Ron?
Ron: Because...it's...cool.... ARRGG..... *He finally opened the container with such force that the slime ball flew up and stuck to the ceiling.
*Harry and Hermione burst out laughing.*
Harry: Ha...good one, Ron! *Ron can't help it; he laughs too.*
Ron: Now I have to get another one for the scavenger hunt...hang on
Hermione: Ok, me and Harry will meet you in the junk food aisle. We're already 10 minutes behind!
Ron: Ok. *Harry and Hermione walk away as Ron gets out another 50 pence piece and it takes him 8 minutes to figure out that he'd turned the handle on the machine the wrong way again. Meanwhile, Harry and Hermione arrive at the junk food aisle. Harry looks at the list.*
Harry: We need a box of Oreos...
Hermione: Double-stuffed or regular?
Harry: Er...regular. *Hermione grabs a package of regular Oreos.*
Hermione: Anything else?
Harry: Yeah, cheese nips and WHAT? HARRY POTTER GRAHAM CRACKERS? (A/N: I doubt if they exist.)
Hermione: Don't ask, stupid merchandising. *grabs the cheese nips and graham crackers; Harry looks baffled and a little freaked out that there's graham crackers that look like him!...and his friends.*
Harry: Er..ok...maybe we should have gotten a cart.
Hermione: Yeah...RON!!!!! *Ron comes cruising down the aisle, cruising on the cart as if it were a scooter, he crashes into the cookie shelf, and Harry and Hermione have just enough time to avoid being hit with thousands of cookies.*
Ron: ARRGGHH....*gets out of the pile of cookies, brushes crumbs of himself and says, "Hey, that was fun! I should try that again..."
Hermione: NO, RON! Oh good, there's Dumbledore...?!??!
Dumbledore: What happened? *waves his wand and the shelf repairs itself and the cookies go back on it; luckily, as it was a Tuesday, there were not many muggles there and none saw him doing magic.*
Ron: Er...cart cruising...
Dumbledore: Ah, I used to cart cruise myself as a young wizard, but as you can see my crooked nose...
Harry: Professor, sir, what's all over your face? *Dumbledore's face is covered in small star tattoos.*
Dumbledore: *chuckling* Oh, I got these fake tattoos from the junk machines and couldn't resist. Now run along, I don't want Slytherin to win...oh, and...*pulls a green slime ball out of his beard, which Ron just noticed was there, and looks fearful* The strangest thing happened while I was at the junk machines... this slimeball appeared to have fallen from the ceiling and into my beard...Do any of you know who's this is?
Ron: *Face rises to 100 degrees* No *he lied*
Dumbledore: Very well, I was just wondering where I could get one myself...
Ron: Their in one of the bottom junk machines...oops *Dumbledore says "thanks," winks at him, and ambles away. Ron breathes a sigh of relief.*
~*~End of Chapter 1. I'll only continue with this if I get between 5 and 10 reviews. Does anyone have any ideas for further chapters, what Malfoy's plan to get back at Harry and his friends should be, etc.? E-mail ideas to me at Springkitten88@yahoo.com and read my other fics if you want!~*~ Challenge 1: (sorry, I posted the same challenges in one of my other fics)Someone should write a fic where the HP characters discover that there are movies about them (which they get freaked out about), and try to get back at the actors and Chris Columbus by making a much better movie (movie one or two and stuff not included in the movie(s) that was in the books, but don't make up stuff that wasn't in the books) and mailing it to Chris Columbus, the actors, and J.K. Rowling. How did they discover the movies? Imagine what Chris's reaction would be! Panic? Laughter? He thinks it's a joke at first, but then he realizes the special effects aren't effects at all...they're real! What are the actors' reactions? And J.K. Rowling's? Will the HP characters go right to the studio, or will the studio go to this "supposed Hogwarts" to see if it is real? Continue the story from then on; I'd really like to see this become a story!
Challenge 2: Similar, but different. What would happen if Harry, Ron, and Hermione happened to be walking down the street in London (or anywhere in the UK, during the summer holidays or during break) and people started asking for their autographs b/c they think they are Dan Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, and Emma Watson? How would they react? Maybe they all react differently. OR what if the actors bumped into the HP characters on the street? Would they all freak out? Would fans know the difference? (Just pretend they really look like the characters from the book so it'll work) Would they try to confuse Chris Columbus firsthand? Maybe they decide to switch places for a day (or a week, however long you want) so the real HP characters (Harry, Ron and Hermione) got to film PoA and the actors got to go to Hogwarts? Would complications arise? Would the HP characters have to do events such as movie premieres/interviews as the actors? Would the actors have to deal with Snape, Quidditch or even Voldemort? Would the teachers/director/film crew/fans/their parents know the difference? Continue the story from there and let me know if you decide to do this!
The Hogwart's class trip to the supermarket
Chapter 1: Why magical people should never go to the grocery store
On the bus (They have to take a bus b/c the train says Platform 9 ¾.) Neville: We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz! Harry: Um, Neville, we're just going to the supermarket... Neville: Oh...*turns red* Hermione: I can't wait to see everyone's reactions to a muggle store. They're really quite big, you know. Ron: What kind of food is there, Hermione? Hermione: Oh, lots. Basically every type of food in the food pyramid. Ron: The what? There's a pyramid made out of food? Hermione: *sighs* Never mind. Ron: Is there butterbeer or chocolate frogs? Hermione: There's no butterbeer, but there is chocolate frogs; they don't jump though. Ron: What a rip off!
On the top layer of the bus, where Draco is sitting w/ Crabbe and Goyle. Draco: I can't believe we're going to a stupid muggle supermarket. I mean, what's the point? We have every kind of food at Hogwarts!
*Crabbe and Goyle laugh stupidly*
In the front of the bus, where Dumbledore is sitting with the faculty.* Dumbledore: We're off to the supermarket, the wonderful supermarket. Snape: *looks annoyed* Albus, can I ask you why we are taking the students on a trip to the supermarket? Dumbledore: Why not? Can you think of a good reason not to? Snape: How about class. Dumbledore: Oh, loosen your wedgie, Severus. Everyone needs a break once in a while.
On the top layer of the bus, where Draco is sitting.* Draco: How about we think of a way to annoy Potter and his stupid friends. *Crabbe and Goyle grunt in agreement.*
*The bus arrives at the supermarket called Weis. (I don't know if there's a Weis in Britain. If there isn't, then just think there is for this fic.) *Everyone gasps in awe. Everyone except the Slytherins and muggle-borns, of course.
Ron: Wow, I never saw a muggle supermarket before! Dad told me about them though. He once went in one, and mum was looking for him for an hour! He came out with about ten bags filled with all sorts of toys in round, clear plastic containers. Mum was fuming mad!
Harry: The Dursley's took me to one once, and made me bag the groceries.
Hermione: Uh...I go to them all the time in the summer. They have food, magazines, plants, pet food, toothpaste, plastic jewelry, and a lot more.
Dumbledore: Now, I realize this is a field trip. But, the Ministry of Magic thinks it needs to be "educational." So, I have made a scavenger hunt. Split into groups of three, find the items, and pay for them with the muggle money I have converted. Whoever pays for their items first wins. *McGonagall hands out muggle money to everyone.* Dumbledore: Oh, and there are these rather clever machines in there I like to call the "junk machines" Just don't waist all your time and money buying stuff from them, and good luck! *Dumbledore ambles to the junk machines in the lobby of the Weis, pockets full of quarters.*
Draco: This is a lot of money. *He carefully counts it all.* Hey...we don't really have to spend it on groceries, do we guys? *Crabbe and Goyle stare blankly at him; McGonagall hears what Draco said and strides over to him.*
McGonagall: Mr. Malfoy, if I find that you spend so much as a pound on something other than something that's on the list, you will be rewarded with a detention and 50 points from your house. Do I make myself clear?
Malfoy: But Dumbledore said we could buy stuff from the junk machines?
McGonagall: That's b/c it's on the list. Now get a move on, you're wasting time. *Draco runs into the store, determined to win the scavenger hunt.*
*Harry's group* Harry: *reading list* So the first thing we need to get is 3 items from the junk machines. *They stroll to the junk machines in the lobby.* Ron: Holy butterbeers! Look at all the stuff you can get! Hermione: Don't hold your breath, Ron. Everything's either plastic or cheap metal. Ron: Oh...what are you going to get, Harry? Harry: I don't know, hey there's candy too. Ron: Really? Maybe I'll get some... Hermione: Well hurry up, we're in this to win! Harry: Why do you want to win so bad, Hermione? Hermione: We can't let Malfoy and the Gits win, can we? Harry: You're right. OK, I'll get...um...er... *Hermione puts her 50 pence piece in the slot, turns the handle, and out pops a metal ring with a plastic jewel in a clear plastic container.* Hermione: Ha! Just what I wanted! *Harry does the same to another machine and gets a mini My Little Pony. Everyone stares at him.* Harry: What? I was aiming for the army figure! *turns red* *Ron puts his 50 pence piece in a machine but can't get the handle to turn.* Hermione: Ron, you turn it the other way. Ron: What? Oh, *blushes* thanks. *He turns it the right way and out pops a green slime ball in a plastic container* Excellent!
Harry: Ok, lets go.
Ron: Wait, I...can't....get...this...open! aarrrg
Hermione: Why do you want to open that now, Ron?
Ron: Because...it's...cool.... ARRGG..... *He finally opened the container with such force that the slime ball flew up and stuck to the ceiling.
*Harry and Hermione burst out laughing.*
Harry: Ha...good one, Ron! *Ron can't help it; he laughs too.*
Ron: Now I have to get another one for the scavenger hunt...hang on
Hermione: Ok, me and Harry will meet you in the junk food aisle. We're already 10 minutes behind!
Ron: Ok. *Harry and Hermione walk away as Ron gets out another 50 pence piece and it takes him 8 minutes to figure out that he'd turned the handle on the machine the wrong way again. Meanwhile, Harry and Hermione arrive at the junk food aisle. Harry looks at the list.*
Harry: We need a box of Oreos...
Hermione: Double-stuffed or regular?
Harry: Er...regular. *Hermione grabs a package of regular Oreos.*
Hermione: Anything else?
Harry: Yeah, cheese nips and WHAT? HARRY POTTER GRAHAM CRACKERS? (A/N: I doubt if they exist.)
Hermione: Don't ask, stupid merchandising. *grabs the cheese nips and graham crackers; Harry looks baffled and a little freaked out that there's graham crackers that look like him!...and his friends.*
Harry: Er..ok...maybe we should have gotten a cart.
Hermione: Yeah...RON!!!!! *Ron comes cruising down the aisle, cruising on the cart as if it were a scooter, he crashes into the cookie shelf, and Harry and Hermione have just enough time to avoid being hit with thousands of cookies.*
Ron: ARRGGHH....*gets out of the pile of cookies, brushes crumbs of himself and says, "Hey, that was fun! I should try that again..."
Hermione: NO, RON! Oh good, there's Dumbledore...?!??!
Dumbledore: What happened? *waves his wand and the shelf repairs itself and the cookies go back on it; luckily, as it was a Tuesday, there were not many muggles there and none saw him doing magic.*
Ron: Er...cart cruising...
Dumbledore: Ah, I used to cart cruise myself as a young wizard, but as you can see my crooked nose...
Harry: Professor, sir, what's all over your face? *Dumbledore's face is covered in small star tattoos.*
Dumbledore: *chuckling* Oh, I got these fake tattoos from the junk machines and couldn't resist. Now run along, I don't want Slytherin to win...oh, and...*pulls a green slime ball out of his beard, which Ron just noticed was there, and looks fearful* The strangest thing happened while I was at the junk machines... this slimeball appeared to have fallen from the ceiling and into my beard...Do any of you know who's this is?
Ron: *Face rises to 100 degrees* No *he lied*
Dumbledore: Very well, I was just wondering where I could get one myself...
Ron: Their in one of the bottom junk machines...oops *Dumbledore says "thanks," winks at him, and ambles away. Ron breathes a sigh of relief.*
~*~End of Chapter 1. I'll only continue with this if I get between 5 and 10 reviews. Does anyone have any ideas for further chapters, what Malfoy's plan to get back at Harry and his friends should be, etc.? E-mail ideas to me at Springkitten88@yahoo.com and read my other fics if you want!~*~ Challenge 1: (sorry, I posted the same challenges in one of my other fics)Someone should write a fic where the HP characters discover that there are movies about them (which they get freaked out about), and try to get back at the actors and Chris Columbus by making a much better movie (movie one or two and stuff not included in the movie(s) that was in the books, but don't make up stuff that wasn't in the books) and mailing it to Chris Columbus, the actors, and J.K. Rowling. How did they discover the movies? Imagine what Chris's reaction would be! Panic? Laughter? He thinks it's a joke at first, but then he realizes the special effects aren't effects at all...they're real! What are the actors' reactions? And J.K. Rowling's? Will the HP characters go right to the studio, or will the studio go to this "supposed Hogwarts" to see if it is real? Continue the story from then on; I'd really like to see this become a story!
Challenge 2: Similar, but different. What would happen if Harry, Ron, and Hermione happened to be walking down the street in London (or anywhere in the UK, during the summer holidays or during break) and people started asking for their autographs b/c they think they are Dan Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, and Emma Watson? How would they react? Maybe they all react differently. OR what if the actors bumped into the HP characters on the street? Would they all freak out? Would fans know the difference? (Just pretend they really look like the characters from the book so it'll work) Would they try to confuse Chris Columbus firsthand? Maybe they decide to switch places for a day (or a week, however long you want) so the real HP characters (Harry, Ron and Hermione) got to film PoA and the actors got to go to Hogwarts? Would complications arise? Would the HP characters have to do events such as movie premieres/interviews as the actors? Would the actors have to deal with Snape, Quidditch or even Voldemort? Would the teachers/director/film crew/fans/their parents know the difference? Continue the story from there and let me know if you decide to do this!