Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, which is owned by J.K. Rowling,
Warner Bros., etc., nor do I own any brands of food that may be mentioned
in this fic! Thanks to all the reviewers!
Chapter 5: The Chips and Miscellaneous aisles and the Check Out Counter *edited*
*After recovering from their laugh about the Harry Potter cake, Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Neville walk to the chips aisle, which is the second to last aisle they have to go to.*
Ron: Who has the list? Oh, I do... *looks at list* Ok, someone get cheesy poufs, someone get sour cream and onion chips, someone get *flinches* pork rinds and I'll get cheese popcorn.
Neville: I'll get the pork rinds. Yum! *Everyone looks at him.* What? They're good. *everyone is still looking at him and he blushes a deeper red than Ron's hair, if that's achievable* Ok, I'll shut up now.
Hermione: I'll get the sour cream and onion chips.
Harry: I guess I'll get the cheesy poufs. *imitates that kid from south park* CHEESY POUFS!
Hermione: Ook then. Where to next, Ron?
Ron: The miscellaneous aisle, the last aisle we need to go to, and we better beat Malfoy! *they all sprint to the miscellaneous aisle, which is about three feet from the checkout counters*
Ron: Ok, we each need a Harry Potter toothbrush... oh great. *Malfoy is in the aisle and is mock pretending to brush his teeth with none other than a Harry Potter toothbrush. He sees Harry and his friends.*
Draco: *reading the label mockingly* Nothing zaps the tartar off your teeth better than a Harry Potter toothbrush. So get out your wand...or toothbrush, and start zapping away!
Hermione: Very funny Malfoy, more like immature. *Harry is blushing as Draco, Crabbe, and Goyle are laughing at him.*
Neville: *sees a Draco Malfoy brand bottle of shampoo and reads the label* Hmm, bubble gum scented. *Draco is horrorstruck as Neville continues to read the label.* Do you want bubble gummy hair? Do you want hair to shine like the hair of that strapping young lad Draco Malfoy from Harry Potter? Then there is no other shampoo for you than Draco Malfoy Bubble Gum Shampoo. It's cunning, it's slytheriny, and it smells good, just like Malfoy himself. Also available in tangerine and watermelon. *Draco beats Neville's color of blushing and is put in the Guinness Book of World Records for it. He quickly leaves the aisle with his cronies, who are hard put to stop their laughing.
Harry and Ron: Good one, Neville! *They both high five him.*
Hermione: You three didn't notice, did you?
Harry, Ron, and Neville: Notice what?
Hermione: Well, Draco still has that lobster attacked to the back of his head. *giggles* And I bet Crabbe and Goyle didn't tell him on purpose.
Ron: Either that, or they're incredibly stupid.
Harry: Well, we all knew that. So what did we need again?
Ron: Oh...er-Harry Potter toothbrushes.
Harry: This is ridiculous! *gets a toothbrush and analyzes it* Well, at least they got the hair right this time. *Everyone laughs.*
Ron: And we need a bottle of Herbal Essences shampoo and a teen magazine. That's it!
Neville: *as he's getting a bottle of Herbal Essences shampoo and uses it like a microphone* (singing) I've got the urge to Herbal!
Everyone else: He's got the urge to Herbal.
Neville: I've got the Herbal in the shower...
Everyone else: For another half an hour!
Neville: I've got the urge (natural botanicals)
Everyone else: He's got the urge to herbal! *They all snap out of it.*
Hermione: What...was that?
Harry: Um, the after effects of Malfoy and the Gits' potions? *they all agree, but silently know that it wasn't the potion, but the media's effect on people regarding catchy merchandising songs*
Hermione: I'll get the teen magazine. I love Teen People!
Ron: Hermione, I never knew!
Hermione: Well duh, do you think my hair looks this good without any effort? *points to her bushy hair that right now looks like it got stuck in a hairdryer; she goes and gets the magazine* HEY LOOK AT THIS! *points to the front cover, which is a picture of Lee Jordan and Percy Weasley, who are both wearing bling-bling of such things as snitches and broomsticks, and standing next to 50 cent, who himself is wearing a medallion shaped like a lightning bolt. Everyone stares at the cover like they can't believe their eyes.*
Ron: It says "Lee Jordan to star in a 50 cent video with Percy Weasley and 50 cent himself! PERCY?! *Hermione opens to the story*
Hermione: *reading parts of the article* "After being spotted beat boxing in a parking lot in NYC to make ends meet, Percy Weasley was asked by 50 cent to star in one of his music videos. ... Later on, 50 fired one of his extras because they kept eating all of the food on the set. He asked Percy if he knew anyone who could replace the extra, and he said, "Without a doubt, Lee Jordan. That kid can seriously beat box... or at least give good commentary for quidditch." After asking and finding out unsuccessfully what the heck quidditch was, 50 agreed to let Lee Jordan replace the extra. ....It was then discovered that Lee Jordan really could beat box. Lee and Percy had such a "magical" influence on 50 cent, that he changed the name of his music video to "21 Snitches."
Ron: WHAT?
Hermione: *starts to read again*
Ron: No, I mean, Percy went to NYC and he didn't even send me a souvenir?! *Hermione rolls her eyes and puts the magazine in the cart.*
Harry: There's Malfoy, already at the checkout counter! *points to check out counter, of which there are about 50 in all.*
Hermione: Don't worry I've got an idea. *goes up to Malfoy* Um, you have a lobster attached to the back of your head.
Draco: Do I look stupid? Go away, mudblood. I won this scavenger hunt.
Crabbe: No, you do, really.
Draco: *feels for this supposed "lobster" on the back of his head as the rest of Harry's group comes over. The lobster bites his hand and gets attached to it.* OW! *runs out of the store, with Crabbe and Goyle following stupidly*
Cashier: Hey, you have to pay for that sir! Security! *Security guards bigger than Crabbe and Goyle stomp out of the store.* Some people have no respect! *takes a pack of gum from the candy shelf and chews a piece without paying for it first* Ok, so I guess you're next. He never took all of his stuff. *sighs and dumps it into a bag*
Ron: Hey, what's this thing? *is looking at the conveyor belt*
Hermione: It's a conveyor belt. They use it to slide the food to the cashier.
Ron: That's dumb, why don't they just sum-... *Hermione steps on his foot.* Ouch! I mean... some people are so clever to invent this thing, don't you think? *the cashier is ringing things up so slowly that a snail could do it faster*
Cashier: Sorry, it's my first day. And could you not tell anyone about the gum? *blows a bubble*
Ron: Sure, as long as you don't tell anyone about THIS gum. *takes a pack of gum, at which Hermione grabs and puts back on the shelf.* (whispering) Hey, I just meant for her to not tell anyone that I bought yet another thing that wasn't on the list!
Hermione: Yeah right, Ron. *rolls her eyes for the millionth time* *Finally, after fifteen minutes that felt like an hour, the four friends are on their way out of the store, with two carts full of food, and stomachs full of emptiness. The End
Audience: Hey wait a minute! You can't end the story like that! Who won the race?
Author: Yes I can, it's my story! They won the race! Or did they... Ok, the story is ALMOST over.
*The four friends emerge from the store to a horrifying sight: Mini me is claiming to Dumbledore that he won the race.*
Harry: *walking over to them* Hey, we won! You weren't even in the race!
Mini me: So what? I want the prize!
Neville: You're rich, you can buy anything you want!
Mini me: I know. What is the prize, Dumbledore? *Dumbledore whispers what the prize is to Mini me. Mini me sighs.* Well...I guess you can have it. *gets in his super mini mini Porsche and drives away.*
Hermione: So what is the prize, Dumbledore?
Dumbledore: The prize is...are you all ready?
All: Yes!
Dumbledore: A lifetime supply of toys from the junk machines!
All: What?!
Dumbledore: That and...a thousand galleons each if that sounds any better.
All: Yes! Thanks! *They all get in the bus; the "losers" emerging from the store with sour faces and Malfoy being driven away in a police car for "lobster" theft.*
~* Please review! : ) *~
Chapter 5: The Chips and Miscellaneous aisles and the Check Out Counter *edited*
*After recovering from their laugh about the Harry Potter cake, Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Neville walk to the chips aisle, which is the second to last aisle they have to go to.*
Ron: Who has the list? Oh, I do... *looks at list* Ok, someone get cheesy poufs, someone get sour cream and onion chips, someone get *flinches* pork rinds and I'll get cheese popcorn.
Neville: I'll get the pork rinds. Yum! *Everyone looks at him.* What? They're good. *everyone is still looking at him and he blushes a deeper red than Ron's hair, if that's achievable* Ok, I'll shut up now.
Hermione: I'll get the sour cream and onion chips.
Harry: I guess I'll get the cheesy poufs. *imitates that kid from south park* CHEESY POUFS!
Hermione: Ook then. Where to next, Ron?
Ron: The miscellaneous aisle, the last aisle we need to go to, and we better beat Malfoy! *they all sprint to the miscellaneous aisle, which is about three feet from the checkout counters*
Ron: Ok, we each need a Harry Potter toothbrush... oh great. *Malfoy is in the aisle and is mock pretending to brush his teeth with none other than a Harry Potter toothbrush. He sees Harry and his friends.*
Draco: *reading the label mockingly* Nothing zaps the tartar off your teeth better than a Harry Potter toothbrush. So get out your wand...or toothbrush, and start zapping away!
Hermione: Very funny Malfoy, more like immature. *Harry is blushing as Draco, Crabbe, and Goyle are laughing at him.*
Neville: *sees a Draco Malfoy brand bottle of shampoo and reads the label* Hmm, bubble gum scented. *Draco is horrorstruck as Neville continues to read the label.* Do you want bubble gummy hair? Do you want hair to shine like the hair of that strapping young lad Draco Malfoy from Harry Potter? Then there is no other shampoo for you than Draco Malfoy Bubble Gum Shampoo. It's cunning, it's slytheriny, and it smells good, just like Malfoy himself. Also available in tangerine and watermelon. *Draco beats Neville's color of blushing and is put in the Guinness Book of World Records for it. He quickly leaves the aisle with his cronies, who are hard put to stop their laughing.
Harry and Ron: Good one, Neville! *They both high five him.*
Hermione: You three didn't notice, did you?
Harry, Ron, and Neville: Notice what?
Hermione: Well, Draco still has that lobster attacked to the back of his head. *giggles* And I bet Crabbe and Goyle didn't tell him on purpose.
Ron: Either that, or they're incredibly stupid.
Harry: Well, we all knew that. So what did we need again?
Ron: Oh...er-Harry Potter toothbrushes.
Harry: This is ridiculous! *gets a toothbrush and analyzes it* Well, at least they got the hair right this time. *Everyone laughs.*
Ron: And we need a bottle of Herbal Essences shampoo and a teen magazine. That's it!
Neville: *as he's getting a bottle of Herbal Essences shampoo and uses it like a microphone* (singing) I've got the urge to Herbal!
Everyone else: He's got the urge to Herbal.
Neville: I've got the Herbal in the shower...
Everyone else: For another half an hour!
Neville: I've got the urge (natural botanicals)
Everyone else: He's got the urge to herbal! *They all snap out of it.*
Hermione: What...was that?
Harry: Um, the after effects of Malfoy and the Gits' potions? *they all agree, but silently know that it wasn't the potion, but the media's effect on people regarding catchy merchandising songs*
Hermione: I'll get the teen magazine. I love Teen People!
Ron: Hermione, I never knew!
Hermione: Well duh, do you think my hair looks this good without any effort? *points to her bushy hair that right now looks like it got stuck in a hairdryer; she goes and gets the magazine* HEY LOOK AT THIS! *points to the front cover, which is a picture of Lee Jordan and Percy Weasley, who are both wearing bling-bling of such things as snitches and broomsticks, and standing next to 50 cent, who himself is wearing a medallion shaped like a lightning bolt. Everyone stares at the cover like they can't believe their eyes.*
Ron: It says "Lee Jordan to star in a 50 cent video with Percy Weasley and 50 cent himself! PERCY?! *Hermione opens to the story*
Hermione: *reading parts of the article* "After being spotted beat boxing in a parking lot in NYC to make ends meet, Percy Weasley was asked by 50 cent to star in one of his music videos. ... Later on, 50 fired one of his extras because they kept eating all of the food on the set. He asked Percy if he knew anyone who could replace the extra, and he said, "Without a doubt, Lee Jordan. That kid can seriously beat box... or at least give good commentary for quidditch." After asking and finding out unsuccessfully what the heck quidditch was, 50 agreed to let Lee Jordan replace the extra. ....It was then discovered that Lee Jordan really could beat box. Lee and Percy had such a "magical" influence on 50 cent, that he changed the name of his music video to "21 Snitches."
Ron: WHAT?
Hermione: *starts to read again*
Ron: No, I mean, Percy went to NYC and he didn't even send me a souvenir?! *Hermione rolls her eyes and puts the magazine in the cart.*
Harry: There's Malfoy, already at the checkout counter! *points to check out counter, of which there are about 50 in all.*
Hermione: Don't worry I've got an idea. *goes up to Malfoy* Um, you have a lobster attached to the back of your head.
Draco: Do I look stupid? Go away, mudblood. I won this scavenger hunt.
Crabbe: No, you do, really.
Draco: *feels for this supposed "lobster" on the back of his head as the rest of Harry's group comes over. The lobster bites his hand and gets attached to it.* OW! *runs out of the store, with Crabbe and Goyle following stupidly*
Cashier: Hey, you have to pay for that sir! Security! *Security guards bigger than Crabbe and Goyle stomp out of the store.* Some people have no respect! *takes a pack of gum from the candy shelf and chews a piece without paying for it first* Ok, so I guess you're next. He never took all of his stuff. *sighs and dumps it into a bag*
Ron: Hey, what's this thing? *is looking at the conveyor belt*
Hermione: It's a conveyor belt. They use it to slide the food to the cashier.
Ron: That's dumb, why don't they just sum-... *Hermione steps on his foot.* Ouch! I mean... some people are so clever to invent this thing, don't you think? *the cashier is ringing things up so slowly that a snail could do it faster*
Cashier: Sorry, it's my first day. And could you not tell anyone about the gum? *blows a bubble*
Ron: Sure, as long as you don't tell anyone about THIS gum. *takes a pack of gum, at which Hermione grabs and puts back on the shelf.* (whispering) Hey, I just meant for her to not tell anyone that I bought yet another thing that wasn't on the list!
Hermione: Yeah right, Ron. *rolls her eyes for the millionth time* *Finally, after fifteen minutes that felt like an hour, the four friends are on their way out of the store, with two carts full of food, and stomachs full of emptiness. The End
Audience: Hey wait a minute! You can't end the story like that! Who won the race?
Author: Yes I can, it's my story! They won the race! Or did they... Ok, the story is ALMOST over.
*The four friends emerge from the store to a horrifying sight: Mini me is claiming to Dumbledore that he won the race.*
Harry: *walking over to them* Hey, we won! You weren't even in the race!
Mini me: So what? I want the prize!
Neville: You're rich, you can buy anything you want!
Mini me: I know. What is the prize, Dumbledore? *Dumbledore whispers what the prize is to Mini me. Mini me sighs.* Well...I guess you can have it. *gets in his super mini mini Porsche and drives away.*
Hermione: So what is the prize, Dumbledore?
Dumbledore: The prize is...are you all ready?
All: Yes!
Dumbledore: A lifetime supply of toys from the junk machines!
All: What?!
Dumbledore: That and...a thousand galleons each if that sounds any better.
All: Yes! Thanks! *They all get in the bus; the "losers" emerging from the store with sour faces and Malfoy being driven away in a police car for "lobster" theft.*
~* Please review! : ) *~