The Wemust is a rodent. It bears a resemblance to a large hamster, therefore is a Guinea Pig or Gerbil. It is white with orange makings on its fur. It has paws that are quite flexible and have the ability to grip things when it needs to. It is a very unsuspecting creature at first glance. Then you look closer…
The Wemust carries with it a multitude of arms and has special combat skills. I know you are laughing right now as the idea is so preposterous, but I swear to you it is true. The wee Wemust carries its arms in a utility vest that it wears that is camouflaged to match its fur type. The Wemust is very special.
Now I bet you are wondering what purpose such a creature can have and who created it. Two questions that shall be answered in this very paragraph believe it or not. The two questions are interlinked. The Wemust was created by accident. It was created by an evil Mary Sue who failed to check her grammar in her infestation into Lord of the Rings. This particular Mary Sue claimed to be Gandalf's special pupil and have training in Martial arts and skill with a 'special sword'. The Wemust took both of these aspects and emerged from the writing. It is a stealthy creature now. It lurks, and preys on Mary Sues. They never know what hits them. He goes after those who abuse the canon characters in particular. The Wemust is a character assassin.
It has learned more since its release. It hates the Mary Sues of the world, yet owes its existent to one. It is a troubled character itself. Twist and turns await with every move it makes, as it runs in its squeaky wheel (in its training). The Wemust has gotten faster and defter with each passing day of its freedom. It strikes swiftly condemning the Mary Sue.
It is the vigilante of the community. It is the protector of loved canon characters throughout the world especially in the society these days. The emergence of the Lord of the Rings films has cut out the work for the Wemust. As it emerged from a LOTR fanfic, it targets them first. It saves Leggy-lulu from the multitude of Mary Sues, just in the nick of time. It protects all the elves that the wee Mary Sues are enamoured with, as well as the hobbits. It tries to protect the memory of Tolkien in its movements. LOTR is only one genre of the work that he does. The Wemust is present to make canon fodder with those who mess with the canon characters.
The best thing about the Wemust is that it is present in the letters that Mary Sue types. It watches her develop a tale, and strikes when she slips up. The Wemust slunks into the story at a Mary Sue's insistence or haste. A miss-spelled word, a lack of punctuation, neglecting to hit enter at any point, and the Wemust is in. The Mary Sue is oblivious. In her haste to grasp the object of her desire (EWWWWWWWWWWWWW!) the Wemust silences her. As the Mary Sue crumples to the ground and out of the tale of woe, the Wemust has already disappeared.
It is also a master of disguise. It slinks along in its slinky black gown, or smokes in its little crimson velvet jacket, watching and waiting to strike. It slunks from scene to scene lying in wait, once a job is done it moves away searching for new prey.
Let this be a warning to the Mary Sues of the world (although heaven knows you don't need a warning you deserve whatever you get). We don't care about you and the character you fancy. We don't want to hear about how perfect you are. You have inserted yourself in somebody else's world. The Wemust will not tolerate it. If you do feel like sharing what you think is a work of art, look it over carefully. You wouldn't want to provide our Wemust with a chance of getting in would you?
*Cue Wemust sailing across screen on a hang glider. *