Sero Hour
El: Know what I hate? When people write small diologues in the beginnings of their fics.
Tim: Then what the fuck is this?
El: Huh? Jeezus- JACKIE! GET THAT FUCKING CAMERA OUT OF HERE!
Jackie: Why? You guys are so cute :)!
El: Gimme that thing! (A large hand reaches for the camera, and a smashing noise is heard before all goes blank).
Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, but if YOU do I'm willing to take the idea off your hands…
The Dog, the Man, and the Hazard
FOREST PATH FROM TOTOUSAI'S VOLCANO
"I can't believe that he had no idea of who I am!"
Miroku had been ranting ever since they had left Totousai's. Sango was also quite angry that he had no idea who she was and that he had checked out her chest, but not as angry as Miroku. Ashly was just as happy as usual and was bouncing around Sero, who was his usual angry self. He was mostly shocked at what Totousai had said about his parents, and that was influencing his mood greatly. 'Like a bad, low-budget sci-fi movie,' he thought. 'But those movies ended with the good guy winning. Here, he was vaporized in a nuclear holocaust. Movies really piss me off.'
"Sero, I asked you a question! Sero!" Finally Sero snapped out of his daze and looked to Ashley.
"What?" Sero asked, bitterness coating the question.
"I was just asking you, what is the Kaze No Kizu like?"
"*SIGH*… Okay, picture two windstorms colloding, then picture a rip in between the two. A rip in time, like a big tear in space. Understand?" Ashley shook her head and had the most blank stare you have ever seen. "Okay… well, then you chop the rip in half, and it explodes." Ashley looked even more confused. "Fuck it, you humans have NO imagination! Honestly!" Sero threw his arms up in defeat and looked up to the sky asking why he is forced to travel with these nimrods.
This went on for about five days, when they began to near the mountains of the last remaining Wolf Tribe. As they neared the mountains they began to fight more and more demons, but Sero never lifted a finger letting Miroku and Sango have their fun. These mountains were much different than Totousai's wasteland. These were lush, green forests along steep riges and wide vallies. Nothing happened at all until the calmness was broken once again by another calamitous foe.
Everyone was just walking along the side of an inclined rige, the sun in their eyes blocking their view. Suddenly, its bright rays were dimmed by something standing at the top of the path. They all looked up, seeing the one person that they would never have dreamed of meeting up here. He stood against the red rays of the sun, the white metalic parts of his armor illuminated orange, and reflecting the image of his ghastly smile and giant sword in the noonday sun.
Ghost.
He stood before the party, his enormous zanbatou blotting out the sun. His armor had acquired a few new additions, the largest of which was two large spikes coming out of his gauntlets. Seeing they were so shocked by his grinning visage, he decided to speak first.
"Sero, you impress me. You actually managed to survive the beating I gave you last time. I hear you defeated several powerful spawns of Naraku since I last beat you. Well, time for your life to end." With that, Ghost hefted his zanbatou and entered a fighting stance, but before he could swing, Miroku threw one of his seals out of reaction. It so surprised Ghost that he stopped preparing to swing. "I realize you now depend on your friends to save you during a fight, Sero. Time to end that."
"Hey dumbass! Ya ever thought that maybe I was supporting them? Besides, I have experience and training with this sword." Sero shot back. He neglected to mention that all of his "training" was when "the damn hippie and his stick started yelling at me about all the errors I made. 'Sero, don't hold the pointy end! Sero, don't randomly kill animals with it! Sero, that's a sword, not a toothpick! Stop using it that way at once.'"
"Ah, well then. Time to get some seclusion."
With that, Ghost pulled a small device off of his armor and threw it to the ground. Suddenly, Sero and Ghost disappeared! All that was heard was Sero yelling random curses.
"I do suggest we get moving and try and find him. Without me, he'll end up stabbing himself again." Miroku sighed. "I suppose if we go into the forest we'll eventually find him."
Meanwhile, Sero was getting pissed off. Not only had some bastard in armor with a huge sword (probably to compensate for some 'manly issues') taken him away from the rest of the group into some fucked-up forest, but he also wasn't sure whether he could wield the Tetsusaiga without Ashley around to protect.
"Now you idiot, draw your blade!" Ghost yelled as he ran at Sero, swing Akuijiin in a huge arc that seemed to hew through half the plant life in the forest. Sero barely got the Tetsusaiga up in time to block, and was jarred by the massive impact. He was relieved to see it had transformed, but was still pretty pissed because now he would have to search all over just to find his stupid friends. Ghost then used the momentum of his first swing to power eight separate blows, each coming faster than the one before.
"What's the matter, Sero? No new powers to use against me? That sword is supposed to be able to cleave through the winds to kill me!"
Suddenly, Sero remembered the Kaze no Kizu. It was a last ditch effort. He calmed his mind to the best of his ability, which isn't saying much, and began to try and spot the winds clashing. For some reason, he could only see his yoki, but he aimed for the edge anyway.
"Alright shitface, you wanted it and now you got it." Stepping back from the latest assault by Ghost, he raised his sword and swung.
"KAZE NO KI-WHAT THE FUCK!?!"
As he swung and saw no sudden burst of destructive energy, he realized that something was really wrong. As he realized this he was standing dumbfounded with his back to a tree and Ghost charging at him while laughing, be advised that he was quite screwed.
Through a freak coincidence of fate, just as Sero swung, Miroku said to Sango and Ashley: "I hope he remembers that Ghost isn't a demon, and therefore can't be hit with the Kaze no Kizu."
Acting on instinct, Sero flung the Tetsusaiga straight out at Ghost in a stab. Not expecting the latest maneuver, he was hit in the stomach and staggered backwards. "You have gotten better. Ah well, now time to take your advantages away." Ghost stepped backwards, dropped Akuijiin, and grabbed the spikes on his gauntlets. They were knives cleverly designed to look like decorative spikes. He flung them both, and only by a miracle did Sero not have his head skewered. It is important to note now that Sero has short hair, because in his own words: "long hair makes me look like a fuckin' pansy".
"Hah! You missed." Smiling, Sero began to run forwards, but was yanked back. His hair had been stuck to the tree by the knives.
"Now, how to kill you? Painful and slow, or quickly so I can move on." Still grinning, Ghost retrieved Akuijiin and prepared to swing. As he did, Sero jumped and managed to evade the stroke. It cut through the bottom of the tree, and instead of landing gracefully in front of the tree like he planned, Sero was dragged to the ground by its weight. Standing, with the tree still stuck to his head, Sero got into a crude guard stance and began to renew the fight in earnest, as much as you can with a tree stuck to your head.
Suddenly, Sero was gone. He had been in the middle of a leap at Ghost, and suddenly disappeared. Realizing that he was gone, Ghost left to search for him, musing about the loss of his brand new knives that he hadn't even had a chance to kill with yet.
At the same time, Sero was swearing once again as he kept falling. Some idiot had placed weak ground where he was going to land, and so once again he didn't have a clue where he was. He pried the knives out of the tree, decided to keep them to try and bribe Toutosai into giving him a gun, and started wandering around looking for an exit out of the cavern he was in.
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Ashley had heard the noises of a battle coming from an exteremely small forest about half a mile long. However, when they got there they found nothing but destroyed trees and undergrowth, but no people.
"If Sero won, he would undoubtably follow our scents until he found us, so lets head on to Kouga's, and hope that he follows us," Miroku suggested. "He isn't dead, or we would have found blood, so chances are he probably escaped. If he has any sense he'd follow our scents, and if he doesn't… than he really is Inuyasha's son."
And so the began to climb the mountain once again, and it was pretty boring for about a half an hour, until they began to see gigantic bird-shapes in the sky.
"Oh my God, what is THAT?!?" Ashley suddenly pointed into the sky and they saw a truly gruesome creature. It had a large circular body with a gigantic mouth in the middle of it, and at the top of its body was a torso with arms and a head.
It suddenly and unexpectedly dove at them, and Sango was just about to throw her boomerang when two shapes appeared out of nowhere and stabbed it out of the air with spears. It was two wolf demons armed with spears, and they easily defeated the beast and walked over to our three "Heros."
"I thought all the Birds of Paradise (I forget their names in japenese, so I'll just use the English dub) died out thousands of years ago." Miroku said to the wolf.
"They supposedly did, but a few have reapeared here and there. By the way, who are you and what business do you have here?" One of the wolves walked up to Miroku.
"I am Miroku, and this is Sango and Ashley. Me and Sango traveled with a half-breed known as Inuyasha for years, and have brought his son to see Kouga." The wolves' faces were shocked beyond belief. "I'll explain later, just please take us to Kouga as fast as you can."
"Where is the son of Inuyasha?"
"Oh… he was… sidetracked. But he'll be along in a moment."
"You say you traveled with Inuyasha? Kouga will be overjoyed to see you. He has fallen into a state of depression over the death of Misstress Ayame. But your visit may very well be the thing that cheers him up!"
This supprised Miroku and Sango. Ayame was dead? This was a shock. They all walked up the trail and took a few short cuts, allowing them to reach the waterfall where Kouga resided much quicker than it would have normally taken them.
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A man in a tattered black cloak walked swiftly up the main trail to the wolf demon Kouga's lair. Suddenly, two wolf demons jumped out from behind trees and held spears out towards the traveler, who stoped walking.
"Who are you and what business do you have on this mountain?"
The man in the cloak stood in silence, his face hidden from view. "Answer us! Answer or we shall attack!" The wolves were growing both impatient and scared, this guy was creepy.
"Fine, but we warned you!" Both the wolves charged and stabbed at him. The spears stoped a foot away from the cloaked man and the bladed tips broke off of the spears and flew in opposite directions. Without stoping to think about what just happened, the one wolf demon leapt into the air and threw a kick directed at the cloaked man's head. The man stuck his hand out and blew the wolf backward and into a tree with an invisible force, knocking him to the ground with a loud crack, signifying broken bones.
The other wolf ran to his injured comrade, and nealt down next to him. "Find Kouga, warn him of the intruder!" The wolf demon watched his friend pass out, and swore to return to him as soon as he warned Kouga of the intruder. Without a second thought he ran as fast a wolf demon could go straight to Kouga's cave.
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Sero finally made it out of the cavern. It seemed that someone had made a trap hole in the ground of the forest he was fighting Ghost in that went down about one hundred feet before opening into a small cave. After ten minutes of bumbling about and stabbing himself on those "goddamn spiky things on the floor" he made it to the mouth of the cave. The only way to get back up the mountain from here was to climb a steep and perilous rocky path complete with loose stones and mud.
"Aww, shyt. Just my luck. Ghost, fuck you," he muttered to himself as he looked up the path he was about to attempt to traverse. At least he got one thing out of his fight with Ghost: two new knives. Sero had placed the knives on his belt with his sword for quick use.
He walked over to the steep path and looked up to find the best platform of rocks to jump onto. Most looked rickity and held together by pebbles and loose dirt, but he eventually saw a nice sturdy looking one. He leapt ten feet straight into the air and landed square on the platform, only to have it start shaking and fall, making him jump back down to the cavern mouth to avoid falling to his death.
"Awww, MAN! And that one looked sturdy. God DAMN YOU GHOST!!!"
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The great wolf demon Kouga was sulking in his cave as usual. He had been like this quite often after one of Naraku's spawn killed Ayame one year ago. He would sit in his little corner and look at a picture of her for hours on end. It seemed that every time he would turn around another one of his friends would die. First were Inuyasha and Kagome, then Royakan, and now Ayame.
His sweet misery was interrupted when two of his guards brought three people to him, two of wich smelled vaguely familiar.
"Kouga! Remember us?" Miroku was still a little pissed off that Totousai had no idea who he was, and had his hopes up that Kouga would at least call him a letch. Instead, Kouga gave Miroku a blank stare.
"You and your friend smell familiar… where do I know you from?"
"GOD DAMNIT!"
"Ummm… we were Inuyasha and Kagome's traveling companions. You may remember us as- STOP WHINING, MIROKU! YOU CAN'T EXPECT HIM TO REMEMBER SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO!!!!- anyway, I am Sango, the annoying hippie- err- houshi is Miroku, and this is Ashley."
Kouga thought for a moment. Yes, he did remember two people that traveled with Inuyasha and Kagome, and that they were sealed during the fight with Naraku… how did they escape? Hmmmm… "Yes… now that you mention it, I DO remember you."
Miroku uncrossed his arms and threw his fists into the air in a victory stance. "BOO-YAH!"
"Houshi, you are such a nerd."
"Anyway," Kouga tried to change the subject. "What are you doing here?"
"Oh, well we found the son of Inuyasha and brought him back to Tokyo with us, but his uncle didn't think he is strong enough to BE the son of Inuyasha, so he sent him on an adventure as training," Ashley answered cheerfully. "We already met Totousai, and now we are here!"
Wait wait wait wait wait a second here. The son of Inuyasha. Here. Alive. Wow. "Where exactly is he?" Kouga asked with antisipation.
"Oh, on our way here we were waylayed by some crazed foreigner and Sero, that's his name, got into a fight with him. We're pretty sure he escaped because we found no blood, but we figured he would just head to the top of the mountain, here, because it would be the most logical place for you to stay."
This did not sit well with Kouga. "There are a lot of traps set by our guards here to make sure no one can scale the mountain, don't you think he could be in trouble?"
"Naaah," Miroku reassured, "He's got a thick skull like his dad, and if he encounters some traps think of it as training. He'll be fine."
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On the side of the mountain, Sero was frantically jumping from platform to platform before they fell. He tripped on one of the platforms, drew Tetsusaiga, and shoved it into the wall to keep himself from falling to his death.
"GOD DAMN YOU, GHOST!"
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Sry this chapter is late, I had some… distractions. My friend stole my Hellsing DVD, and he lives in Wisconsin. That's a problem, because I live in Pennsylvania. So I've been trying to straighten that out… and by the way, I want to give a shout out to Tim for writing the Ghost/Sero fight scene (another reason it took so long to write the chapter, it took Tim a WEEK to write that little fight scene!). You can tell when it's Tim writing, it's when the grammar gets really good and big words start to pop up… usually big words I don't know.
THE NOTE FROM TIM: If you haven't noticed yet, someone other than Randomunit02 has written part of this chapter. It was I, THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TIM! I took time out of my busy schedule trying to overthrow the Earth and creating an infinite mix of Sean Paul's "Get Busy" to write this for you. Any attempt to harm Randomunit02 will result in the infini-mix being sent to your computer, taking hold of your speakers and driving you insane. There is no way to stop it. Now be grateful that I even did this, fools. MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHH!!!!!!!!!
The Bringer of Pain and all Other Forms of Hurty-ness,
Tim, AKA DanteTheRedFlame
NOTE FROM RANDOM: Tim is the kind of guy that would make a bomb because some poor restarant bus-boy looked at him funny. Now you see why I tend not to tick him off. Besides, I HATE Sean Paul! (shivers)