A/N: OOTP SPOILER'S. DO NOT READ UNLESS YOU DO NOT WANT THE END OF THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX REVEALED. This is NOT a slash, I repeat, NOT a slash. Thank you.
Painful Remembrance
The rain pounded on his bedroom window. The grey, miserable day matched his mood perfectly. A flash of lightning briefly illuminated his dark room. Harry lay on his bed, watching the streaks of lightning and listening to the crash of thunder. He briefly brought the back of his hand across his eyes, leaving a trail of salty tears on his cheeks. Harry's gaze moved from the window to his ceiling, which became visible every couple minutes. His heart wrenched as his godfather's face swum into his view. Giving a small gasp as another painful spasm overtook him, Harry rolled over on his bed, burying his face in his pillow. Once his sobs quietened again, Harry turned his head so he was looking at his dark, tiny room. Though he could see the outline of his wardrobe, and Hedwig's cage, he was unable to register the figures in his mind as he turned the summer's events over and over in his mind.
Harry's eyes fluttered shut, his stomach twisting painfully as he remembered watching Sirius's warm, familiar face disappearing behind the veil. Anger, regret, and guilt wound their way around Harry, binding him tightly, restricting his breathing. Whenever he moved, whenever he spoke, whenever he thought, they were with him always. When he woke up in the morning, his thoughts immediately turned to Grimmauld Place, the Order of the Phoenix, the Department of Mysteries, Bellatrix Lestrange, the veil, Sirius. All day Harry endured the anxiety and anguish; the rock in the pit of his stomach. Even at night Harry was unable to escape. His dreams were regularly haunted by memories of the Ministry of Magic and Hogwarts; of his friends and of Sirius. In some Harry was running down the hall to the brain room, the shouts of Ron, Hermione, Sirius and his parents urging him to come quickly. He never made it on time and watched helplessly as they fell one-by-one into the veil never to be seen again. Other times, he only reacted that fateful night.
They were with him always; constant reminders that Sirius was gone. Harry did not think it possible for a person to suffer from so much pain. The overwhelming sense of guilt affected him so much that at times he felt like he would go mad. The only thing that kept him from slipping into further depression was the constant reminder of care that his friends sent him daily.
Harry shakily stood up and crossed his room to the window. His step faltered slightly as another blaze of lightning lit the town up. Continuing his step Harry reached over and pushed his window open, allowing the driving rain to enter unrestricted. The wind whipped his unruly hair back and the sharp raindrops stung his cheeks. Within a few minutes he was soaked through to the bones. He shivered and shook, but was thankful for the icy rain that shocked him back into the real world. As he stared off into the dark distance he thought he saw a patch of blue amongst the storm. He studied this patch for a moment and caught a glimpse of a gentle ray of light streaming through, meeting the soaked grass with its warming touch. Another gust of wind whipped around Harry's feeble frame and he shivered again in the cold afternoon. His gaze flickered back to the blue bit in the sky and saw a snowy white figure soaring towards his room. As it approached Harry's heart lifted slightly. It was Hedwig; and she was bearing a note from his friends.
Painful Remembrance
The rain pounded on his bedroom window. The grey, miserable day matched his mood perfectly. A flash of lightning briefly illuminated his dark room. Harry lay on his bed, watching the streaks of lightning and listening to the crash of thunder. He briefly brought the back of his hand across his eyes, leaving a trail of salty tears on his cheeks. Harry's gaze moved from the window to his ceiling, which became visible every couple minutes. His heart wrenched as his godfather's face swum into his view. Giving a small gasp as another painful spasm overtook him, Harry rolled over on his bed, burying his face in his pillow. Once his sobs quietened again, Harry turned his head so he was looking at his dark, tiny room. Though he could see the outline of his wardrobe, and Hedwig's cage, he was unable to register the figures in his mind as he turned the summer's events over and over in his mind.
Harry's eyes fluttered shut, his stomach twisting painfully as he remembered watching Sirius's warm, familiar face disappearing behind the veil. Anger, regret, and guilt wound their way around Harry, binding him tightly, restricting his breathing. Whenever he moved, whenever he spoke, whenever he thought, they were with him always. When he woke up in the morning, his thoughts immediately turned to Grimmauld Place, the Order of the Phoenix, the Department of Mysteries, Bellatrix Lestrange, the veil, Sirius. All day Harry endured the anxiety and anguish; the rock in the pit of his stomach. Even at night Harry was unable to escape. His dreams were regularly haunted by memories of the Ministry of Magic and Hogwarts; of his friends and of Sirius. In some Harry was running down the hall to the brain room, the shouts of Ron, Hermione, Sirius and his parents urging him to come quickly. He never made it on time and watched helplessly as they fell one-by-one into the veil never to be seen again. Other times, he only reacted that fateful night.
They were with him always; constant reminders that Sirius was gone. Harry did not think it possible for a person to suffer from so much pain. The overwhelming sense of guilt affected him so much that at times he felt like he would go mad. The only thing that kept him from slipping into further depression was the constant reminder of care that his friends sent him daily.
Harry shakily stood up and crossed his room to the window. His step faltered slightly as another blaze of lightning lit the town up. Continuing his step Harry reached over and pushed his window open, allowing the driving rain to enter unrestricted. The wind whipped his unruly hair back and the sharp raindrops stung his cheeks. Within a few minutes he was soaked through to the bones. He shivered and shook, but was thankful for the icy rain that shocked him back into the real world. As he stared off into the dark distance he thought he saw a patch of blue amongst the storm. He studied this patch for a moment and caught a glimpse of a gentle ray of light streaming through, meeting the soaked grass with its warming touch. Another gust of wind whipped around Harry's feeble frame and he shivered again in the cold afternoon. His gaze flickered back to the blue bit in the sky and saw a snowy white figure soaring towards his room. As it approached Harry's heart lifted slightly. It was Hedwig; and she was bearing a note from his friends.