Chapter 4

I sat on the sofa worried. The stress that I felt was overwhelming and it exhausted me. Tara went to the guest bedroom to help Matthew change into his pajamas. Bill followed them into the room.

I looked at the clock. He had been in there for about five minutes. The anticipation was driving me crazy. I just wanted to get it over with.

Finally, he came out the room. I changed my mind; it could wait. He sat down next to me. I looked up at him and gave him a half smile. He didn't return the friendly gesture.

" You want to go out on the porch and talk?" I asked.

" Yeah," he responded coldly. I followed him outside.

I looked at the sky hoping to see a shooting star. (I needed all the luck I could get.)

"So," I said sighing," You obviously now know that I'm pregnant...I willing to talk about it, but I don't want this to be messy so lets just get to the point."

" Dana...I don' know where to start."

" Then I'll start...Why can't you just be happy for me?"

" Because you screwed up."

" What?" Are voices grew more and more intense.

" Do you realize the situation that you're in? You're alone and pregnant, you can't even tell me, and I have to find out inevitably. I'm ashamed of you."

"Well, it's a good thing I'm not looking for your approval on my life."

" I'm tried of the shit you do. You live your life in defiance."

" I live my life the way I want to whether my family likes it or not."

" I don't get you-"

" And I don't get you. In fact I don't get anybody on this damn planet."

" Well, you may not get people, Dana, but obviously somebody got into you."

" Bill, don't start this-"

" Don't tell me what to do. This Mulder guy, he's the father, isn't he?"

" Bill!"

" I don't see him around. Tell me, Dana, did he take off after he knocked you up or did up just give it up to him?" My head was flooded with thoughts. I felt dizzy again. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. He hand no right to---

Before I realized it I had acted. Overreacted.

I looked down at my right hand, it had gone numb. It started to feel hot. So hot that it burned. I looked up at Bill, his face showed shock. Tears formed in my eyes. I left the porch. I walked into the chilly night of Washington. I didn't know where I was going and what was I going to do. I just walked, crying. This was complicated and messy.