Thanks to Susan G for a fine edit job! And to Chantal with her help on the lovely French phrase I was able to use.
Kathy
Hectic. That was the word that seemed to define Carolyn Muir's life as of late. School was in full swing -- finding Candy in the band and the choir. Jonathan was busy with plans for the big history fair in the spring and he had been given the lead part in the elementary school play. Carolyn herself was busy with the Captain's memoirs and was trying to talk Mark Finley into letting her write a column for the SBB. They were 'in negotiations', which sounded good, until she remembered that they had been for almost six months now. Another factor was the steady flow of magazine articles she must maintain for them to pay the "pitiful rent," as Claymore called it, and feed and clothe themselves in warmth and light. Martha was a gem, keeping up with the schedules of everyone, and more than once reminding Carolyn about a parent/teacher conference, or that one of the children needed to picked up from something or the other. But even Martha was busy, having been voted secretary of her ladies' club and Ed Peavy was popping up more than usual of late. But through it all, Carolyn found one thing always constant, and that was her weekly time for Madeira with Captain Gregg. She knew if it wasn't for that one hour a week when she could sit down beside him, sip her drink and listen to him tell stories about his life, she would go crazy. That's all there was to it. And lately he had been asking her about her life -- both the past and present. It was nice to have someone to tell things to. But lately even that had had to be put on hold as it seemed she had always had to do something. The offer to do a series of magazine articles on Maine's ship building past was a wonderful break and meant a nice bit of money but it also meant a lot more time in the library and even two trips to the Capital to go throughout the state archives. And to complicate things even more, longer ago than she liked to think about, they had discovered that the Captain could physically touch. Since then, there had been fleeting touches, fingers brushing against one another as they passed paper back and forth, her shoulder rubbing his arm as they passed in the hallway, her hand resting on his as he leaned upon her desk. They could find reasons to touch, but each was so small, almost as though it hadn't happened. And now to top it all off, Friday was her birthday. And she was going to be 35. 35! It didn't seem possible. It sounded so old. There were times when she felt old but overall she was pretty satisfied with how she looked. But it was more than just a few wrinkles and gray hair. Had she really, really accomplished anything in her life? Was she doing well for her age? 35! Maybe on Friday she could take the evening off and at least spend her birthday with the family. That would be nice. As far as she knew, there weren't any school programs or an article that had to be done right away. Any day now, the kids should start hinting about what she might like and she would tell them she didn't want anything and they would just nod and say: yes, Mom. It would be nice to have some time to spend with her family. And maybe it would help her to forget about the fact that she was only five years away from 40 and she still felt like a child half the time. She was still waiting to see what she wanted to do when she grew up. Letting out a huge sigh, she rested her head on her hands and closed her eyes. It was almost noon and she had so much to do. It didn't look like she was going to make it to Madeira again today. "Blast." She let the tears fall down on the desk. "What's the matter, my dear?" His voice was as warm as his hands that were gently kneading the back of her neck. "I'm old," she sniffed. "And I have so much to do. I just feel like I can't get out of the hole I'm in. I just want a break." "That's understandable," he soothed. "You have been running around a whirlwind lately. Is there anything I can do?" "I'm afraid not. And I'm going to have to cancel our afternoon again today. I'm sorry. And that feels good by the way." "I understand." He gave out a small sigh of his own. "And I'm glad I can be of service. I have been told I have amazing hands." "I can just imagine. ' she thought before reaching up to lay one of her hands on his. "I would like for you to do that all day but I really do have to go. I'm supposed to meet Mrs. Post and Mrs. Shoemaker for lunch to discuss the winter dance they want to give the kids." He helped her up, drawing her close to him and she wished she could stay there forever. Placing her hands on his shoulders, she felt the hard muscle underneath and wished she had more time to think about it, do something about it. She held her breath as he bent his head toward hers and thrilled to the touch of his lips on hers. If only there was more time... The phone rang and she groaned. Maybe it wouldn't be for her. "Mrs. Muir, telephone! " Martha called up the stairs. "Just my luck," she said, leaving the shelter of his arms. "Hello?" ******************** She didn't get home until late that night, going in to kiss the kids good night before collapsing into her own bed. The next day wasn't much better and Thursday was even worse. She had spent most of that day trapped in a city council meeting (she might as well have won that election -- she was here most of the time anyway) dealing with what the community should do for Christmas and they had kept asking her questions that she needed to answer. Her mind should have been on her article but it had been back in Gull Cottage where that morning she had been awakened with a kiss and the gentle touch of Daniel Gregg's hands only to be interrupted by yet another phone call. And then, when she arrived home, no one seemed to notice that she had been gone. No, "welcome home, Mom," no dinner waiting for her. Usually Daniel fussed when she came home late and worked too hard. He had just merely said he was glad she was home and would she please excuse him. 'That's a far cry from this morning,' she thought. She had to go looking for her kids, whom she found in their rooms, the door shut and she was met with "please shut the door, Mom." Martha apologized for not having any dinner left since she had been sure Carolyn had told her she would be eating in town, but she could whip together some eggs or something. While Carolyn ate the omelet that Martha sat before her, she tried to formulate an ending to the article that was waiting upstairs for her. If she could finish that tonight, then she could take the whole day off tomorrow. And right now she couldn't think of anything lovelier than sleeping until she woke up and then lying drowsily in the winter sun, listening to the world going on around her. "Oh, I almost forgot to tell you." Martha came back into the kitchen, from her room. "A Mr. Hastings called for you. He said to remind you about meeting him in Bangor tomorrow at the library. And he would really appreciate it if you come at 10:00 instead of noon." Carolyn didn't say the words she wanted to, settling for a frustrated "blast" instead. She HAD forgotten all about Mr. Hastings, but there was no way she could cancel. His family had been the premier shipbuilders in the state at one time, and he had research material she desperately needed. He would be loaning her a wealth of information and it was imperative she meet with him, birthday or not. "Well, since that means getting up at 6:00 to leave here at 8:00, instead of two hours later than I had planned, I better get myself upstairs and finish my article right away. I don't want it waiting for me when I get back." She had been hoping to find the Captain and spend a little time with him first. They hadn't talked all day. But such was life. "What time do you think you will be getting back tomorrow?" Martha asked nonchalantly. "Not any later than 3:00, I hope. I'm still determined to make my 4:00 appointment with the Captain." "It's been a while since you've had any time together," the housekeeper said wisely. "And I'm sure it's even more important now." Carolyn looked up startled. "How did you..." she began. "I live here too, Mrs. Muir." The older woman smiled. "Don't think I haven't noticed the way the two of you go out of your way to try to make some sort of contact. I have never in my life seen as much passing of the salt as has gone on at this dinner table in the last three weeks or so." Carolyn smiled, hoping she wasn't blushing. "I better go work on my article. The omelet was delicious." She laid a kiss on the older woman's cheek before heading upstairs. After making sure Carolyn had left the kitchen, Captain Gregg materialized into her now empty chair. "You are a very perceptive woman Martha." He gave his head a bow in her direction. "Have we really been that obvious?" "As obvious as the fact that you love one another. A person would have to be blind not to see it. I may be getting up in years, but I can still sniff out a good romance when I see one. And to think it all happened without the benefit of touch." He nodded, liking the truth of her words. "But anyway, if she really does get home at 3:00 I think we can work with that," the housekeeper continued. "Ed and Claymore will be here at 6:00 and I plan to have dinner ready by 6:30. Ed says he will bring the rocking chair with him, and will keep it on his truck. So we can give that to her after dinner and the cake and all. My present is almost ready, how is yours coming along?" "I might need your assistance, Martha," He turned to face her. "I'm having trouble getting the picture just right." "I can take a look at it," she told him. "And Candy and Jonathan say their present is done and all they have to do is wrap it." "Sounds good to me. And I don't think she suspects a thing." "Neither do I. She really needs some fun after the hectic few months she's had." "Would it be easier, Martha, if I cancelled our Madeira time tomorrow? I could think of something." "No, I'd say you both need that. That stays." "Thank-you," he said with heartfelt devotion before leaving the room in the same way he came. "I wish I could do that." Martha laughed as she made her way back to her room. Tomorrow should be quite the day. ******************** "Mrs. Muir. Carolyn, my dear." Carolyn opened one eye and then the other wondering if someone was really calling her name or was it part of a dream. And if she was asleep then, why was she so uncomfortable? "Carolyn, you need to get up. You need to get in bed. This is no place to sleep." It was then that she saw she had fallen asleep at her typewriter and that the Captain was standing beside her, his hand resting on her shoulder. "Come one darling," he said softly. "You still have a few hours to sleep." "Darling?" she couldn't help but ask, a giddy feeling going through her, her heart racing. He gave her an adoring look. "Come on, you have a mark on your face from the typewriter keys." Carolyn tried to get out of the chair, finding her whole backside had gone to sleep and she couldn't really move. "Here." he said gently, "put your arms around my neck." She did as she was told, his strong hands going to her waist and picking her up against him. He gathered her up to his chest, holding her as though she were a baby. "Thank-you," she managed, overwhelmed at the feel of him, taking in his very essence. He touched her face, stroking the soft skin, memorizing every part. His mouth came down to hers and they met in a kiss full of passion and power. She breathed his name and she heard him make a sound like exhaling. "Into bed with you," he said, all of a sudden practical. He sat her on the edge of the bed, laying a kiss on her forehead before disappearing into the night. *********************** Carolyn drove through the gloomy fog, for two hours, to Bangor, feeling sorry for herself. No one, repeat no one, had said good morning to her, let alone Happy Birthday. The fact that she had gotten out of bed at 6:00 and dragged herself into the bathroom and then downstairs with not a smile for anyone, she was totally ignoring. She didn't want to do this. She wanted to lie in bed until she wanted to get up, eat a breakfast of what she wanted to eat and then spend the entire day doing what she felt like. It was a selfish wish, but it was her birthday, her 35th birthday and just for once she wanted to be babied and pampered and spoiled. She pulled up in front of the Bangor Library and parked the car, gathering her purse and notebook and went in to talk to Mr. Hastings. "You should be happy, Carolyn," she scolded herself "Getting an interview with Mr. Hastings is a dream come true. And he has promised to let you actually borrow some of the documents for as long as you need them." But the only thing she could think of as she sat listening to the man was why had no one wished her a happy birthday. They could have left her a card, for heaven's sake. That would be have been a little thing, but so nice. "Mrs. Muir?" Mr. Hastings touched her hand and she looked up at him apologetically. "I'm sorry, Mr. Hastings, I'm afraid I didn't get much sleep last night." "You do look tired," the man agreed. "Why don't we go and get a cup of coffee and do our talking in a more congenial place?" After her second cup of coffee, she did begin to feel better and actually felt a little more confident about the day, gloomy though it was. Mr. Hastings was a very interesting man, but not quite interesting enough to hold her complete attention. 'The children had been asleep this morning,' she reminded herself. 'But still, couldn't they have just said Happy Birthday?' The Captain had wished her a safe trip, and right before she left he had led her behind the Monkey-Puzzle tree and had given her a kiss, but there had been no mention of her birthday. Not that the kiss wasn't better, but . . . 'Why do you care so much?' she asked herself when her companion excused himself to go to the men's room. 'You've been having a birthday every year now, this one is no different.' But it was somehow. Mr. Hastings insisted on taking her to lunch and she accepted his offer. He was a handsome man in his mid 40's with dark wavy hair and brown eyes that looked like melted sugar. His accent was very pronounced and clipped and extremely charming. She could just see the Captain puffing with jealousy and it made her smile. "That certainly made my day," her companion said. "I hope that Mr. Muir takes advantage of that smile often," he added, but not in a flirty way, just matter-of-factly. "I'm a widow, Mr. Hastings." She smiled again. "I'm very sorry to hear that," he said, truly meaning it. "The man who could make you smile everyday would have pure sunshine. I feel sorry for Mr. Muir that he no longer can enjoy it." She started to say something but decided against it. It was nice to hear that she was attractive when she was feeling so old. They went to a small cafe for lunch just down the block from the library. While there, he told her about his children and his travels and once more told her how thrilled he was that she was including in his family in her series of articles. On her way back to the car, she passed a department store and decided to go in. It was her birthday after all. Passing on the dress she saw in the window, she did splurge and buy a box of chocolates, some honeysuckle scented bath oil and a couple of magazines that promised her she could lose weight or have better skin in just 10 days. It had been so long since she had had time for nonsense reading, it might be fun. Picking up a candy bar for each of the kids, she got in line awaiting her turn when she saw a magazine headline glaring at her. Ten Surefire Ways to Turn Your Man On. These Cannot Miss! She couldn't stop her hand from reaching over and picking it up. But she wasn't going to read it. Everyone knew this was pure trash but had to admit it was fun to read even with all the discussion of how to make him "hot for you." and "what a man really wants." She had a sudden desire to go into the lingerie department, realizing that she had never bought anything "sexy" for herself before. Even her honeymoon outfit Bobby had picked out. And while she liked the things she had, she was seeing ones she preferred and knew he would have never gotten. She was almost to the back of the store before she turned around and came back to her place in line. Maybe someday but not now. This wasn't the time, not now. It was almost 1:30 before she left Bangor and even closer to 3:30 when she pulled up in front of Gull Cottage. The house looked quiet even from the car and she couldn't help but wonder if anyone would remember it was her birthday. She shouldn't care so much, but she did. "Hello?" She entered the house, her voice seeming to echo back on the emptiness. Going upstairs to her room, she laid her packages down on the bed and looked at herself in the mirror. 'I look 35 today' she groaned. Leaning over, she took inventory of her face; noticing wrinkles she swore had not been there before. Had she always had those bags under her eyes? If those were laugh lines, she wasn't laughing. The clock over the mantle struck 4:00 and it made her jump. "If you hadn't had to brood over your appearance you could have changed your clothes at least, Carolyn" she scolded herself. "And now you will have to go up there as is." Patting her hair down, she tucked in her blouse and straightened her skirt. She got half way out the door, before she remembered she had kicked off her shoes and came back for them. Surely after almost two years he would be used to seeing her dressed in a lot of different outfits. And this one would have to do. She felt nervous today for some reason and she told herself it was silly. Just because this was the first Madeira time they had been able to have since their relationship had changed, didn't mean she should be nervous. "Calm yourself," she commanded her heart before reaching out to knock on the door. The door opened before she could knock and she gasped at the Captain she saw standing there waiting for her. His usual outfit was gone and had been replaced with a pair of trim fitting black pants with a white shirt that showed off his muscles to their advantage. The collar was open showing just enough of his chest to make her wish she could see more of it. "Happy birthday, my darling Carolyn." He handed her a glass of the amber Madeira. She took the goblet with shaking hands, tears coming faster then she could blink them back. Managing a "thank you," she took a drink, noticing the way he was looking at her. Approaching her, he took the glass away from her and she didn't notice what he did with it. She was only aware of his arms going around her, his lips brushing against hers. "Did you think I had forgotten?" He wiped her tears with the back of his hand, his caress warm. "Smile for me," he whispered and she couldn't help but do so. "If that is the closest to heaven I ever get I will be satisfied," he told her, before placing a kiss on her mouth. The kiss grew as her hands went up to his face, bringing him closer. He tasted her with a hunger that made her own desire grow. Gently his hands pulled through her hair, pushing her to him. She sighed with happiness when he left her lips to trail kisses down her neck. "Will you allow me to tell me just how much I love you?" he asked, his breath warm against her skin. "I've wanted to tell you from the moment we met, what you mean to me. Forgive me that it took me so long to confess the news." With a smile that was only for him, she placed a hand on his hair. "I forgive you." she sighed, "If you will give me the same courtesy." "Did you fall in love with me at that same moment?" He raised his eyebrows at her. "Not quite, " she said solemnly and he moved his head to stare down into her eyes. "It was the minute I saw your portrait. I knew then that my life would never be the same." "Oh, my dear!" his voice was heavy with passion. They shared an earnest kiss. Sitting down on the loveseat, they sipped their Madeira and discussed his past and her future and even indulged in a bit of "their future." "I'm feeling silly about how upset I was earlier," she confided to him. "But I was so sure everyone had forgotten me. This is the best birthday I've ever had," she told him as they moved closer together on the settee. "I can't remember one I've enjoyed so much." "I can't believe you thought I'd forgotten," he ran a hand through her hair. "I believe I told you once that elephants and ghosts never forget." "I think you did mention it once," she giggled, glad the space between them was barely existent. It had been a very long time since she has sat this close to someone, her hand companionably in his. "I suppose we better go down now." She groaned as the small clock he kept in the attic chimed at quarter after the hour of 5:00. "I'm actually supposed to keep you up here until 6:00," he admitted. "But I can't tell you why." "I'm having a party?" her green eyes sparkling with the idea. "Really?" "Just remember I'm not the one who told you." She walked down to the master bedroom about a quarter to, gathering up a favorite dress and making a quick toilet for herself in the bathroom. When she arrived downstairs at five minutes past the hour in answer to Candy's calling, everyone began to clap and Carolyn couldn't help but blush. They had a meal of her favorite food, which was followed by a cake of deep rich chocolate and ice-cream. "Time for presents!" Jonathan called out as excited as though they were for him, and the children made the Captain cover their mother's eyes as he led her into the front room. "Since you can touch and everything and you are the tallest." Candy said wisely. "How did you know . . .?" the seaman couldn't help but ask and the kids looked up at him. "We live here, too. We don't get it, but you and Mom are always trying to touch one another." Jonathan laughed. When Daniel uncovered her eyes, Carolyn gasped at the rocking chair sitting by the fireplace and tears began to sparkle in her eyes. "Oh, this is too much," she protested but Martha told her to sit in it or she would take it for herself. Carolyn did sink down in the smooth polished wood of the rocker, touching it with affection. "How did you know I wanted one?" she asked no one in particular, caressing the wood. "As long as I've known you, Mrs. Muir, you've wanted a rocking chair." "But I've never asked for one!" she exclaimed. "You did. Silently. Every time we went into a store or looked at a catalog, it's the first thing you would head for. So Ed and I thought we should get you one." "Ed and you?" Carolyn didn't miss the significance of that statement, or the red flush on the housekeeper's face. "Is Ed coming later for some cake?" "He had to go back into town, didn't say why. But he is coming back around 9:00 and said he wanted to take the children and me to a late movie." "Oh, Martha, that's much too late . . ." Carolyn began, but then looked up at Daniel and nodded. "But it is Friday." "Yay!" Candy and Jonathan cheered. "Ready for more presents?" Jonathan asked. "This one is from me and Jonathan." Candy handed her a heavy gift and Carolyn unwrapped it carefully. "We made it ourselves." It was an old whiskey bottle in the form of two masted schooner and they had cleaned it up and turned it into a lamp. "Oh Candy, Jonathan!" she exclaimed, the tears threatening again. Claymore presented her with a small gift and she thanked him with a kiss on the cheek and whispered to him to not be worried about the Captain's new ability. And then everyone grew quiet as Daniel Gregg gave her his gift with a happy birthday and a silent 'I love you'. She opened the hinged box slowly, her hands trembling as she saw the golden chain come into view. "Oh, Daniel . . ." she whispered as she pulled the locket out of the box. It was a gold oval on a smooth chain, small, but elegant. She opened the tiny knob on the side and was rewarded with a picture of the Captain on the one side. "I've never seen this one before," she looked up at him, questions in her eyes, but he only smiled. "Something I had hidden away. Martha helped me fit it to the locket." Looking at the other side, she saw the picture of her taken at Centennial Days last year when she and the kids had dressed up in the old fashioned costumes and had their picture taken. She had been taken from the photo and placed in the locket, her hair longer than now, the lace collar of the dress high on her neck and she thought the two of them looked perfect together. "Turn it over, " he told her, "there's something on the back. Just a sentiment." She did as she was told, her breath catching in her throat at the words she saw there. 'Je t'aime, reine de mon coeur ' her voice managed to say the words. "Oh, Daniel, It's lovely," she told him. "Thank-you so much, " and then she surprised everyone including herself by rising up out of the rocking chair and throwing her arms around him. "It must mean something good!" Candy said to Jonathan who nodded in agreement. It was so nice seeing Mom this happy. "It means 'I love you, queen of my heart.'" Claymore said, surprising everyone with his knowledge of the foreign language. Daniel held Carolyn close for several minutes, love shining from his eyes and everyone held their breath, afraid to spoil the moment. "Well, Claymore, why don't you help me make some coffee?" Martha soon broke the spell. "And we will make some hot chocolate, and wait for Ed to come and let the birthday girl have some time to herself." "I'd like to say something first, " Carolyn turned to face everyone. "If you could all stay just a minute longer." Everyone nodded and she smiled. "I have to admit, I've been pretty harried lately and if I've taken it out on any of you, I'm very sorry. And I was feeling quite sorry for myself today, thinking that no one had remembered my birthday. Not to mention I was feeling very old. And I really thought that no one cared. I should have known better. This is the best birthday I have ever had. And I love you all." Later that night after Carolyn and Daniel had spent a nice quiet evening talking beside a crackling fire, he told her he hoped that things would be a little less hectic for her in the future. "I don't know about that," she sighed. "I have a feeling it will be a lot worse before it gets better. But at least I know one thing . . ." "What, if I may ask?" he reached a hand to touch her face, stroking her cheek with his work-worn fingers. "My family is a sure cure for the birthday blues."