NEAR A SMALL LAKE:
Hellahontas looks into her reflection of Arnold's helmet as Arnold snacks on hardtack.
Arnold Smith: It's called a helmet. It protects your head.
Hellahontas: Hmm... Helmet.
Hellahontas puts the helmet on her head. Arnold Smith tries to make conversation.
Arnold Smith: So...what's this lake called?
Hellathonas: Quiyoughcahannock.
Arnold Smith: Oh. You have the most..unusual names.
Hellahontas: Only because you're not used to them.
Arnold Smith: Well yeah.
Hellahontas: I didn't mean that in a rude way. Anway, Arnold Smith is an unusual name too.
Arnold Smith: I guess it kinda is. At least my name isn't JOHN Smith. That's like...the most common name in the whole world.
Arnold Smith put a hardtack cracker up the Leeko's mouth. Leeko sniffed and quickly bit into it, nearly taking Arnold's hand with it.
Arnold Smith: Woah!
Hellahontas: ^-^;;
Arnold Smith: So anyway-hey!
Arnold Smith takes out Leeko by the tail from the inside of his bag. Arnold chuckled to himself.
Hellahontas: Sorry about that. His name is Leeko.
Arnold Smith held out his hand to Leeko and gave a thumbs up.
Arnold Smith: How do you do Leeko?
Leeko sniffed Arnold's hand for crackers, then scowled when he found none.
Arnold Smith: No, it's how we say hello. It's called a weeohhhweeoohh.
Hellahontas looked at his hand with out moving.
Hellahontas:...is something supposed to happen?
Arnold groaned slightly and took her hand and wiggled his thumb.
Hellahontas: This is how we say hello. Win-gapo.
Hellahontas made a circle in the air with her hand.
Arnold Smith: Win...ga..po.
Arnold Smith heard a rustling inside his bag and saw Leeko scamper out of it. He held a small telescope.
Arnold Smith: Hey!
Hellahontas grew very impatient.
Hellahontas: Leeko!!!! You get back here RIGHT NOW!!!
Arnold Smith: It's alright, he can't hurt it-HEY!!!!
Leeko started smashing the telescope against the tree. Arnold gave up.
Arnold Smith: Guh...alright keep it. I'll just get another on in Washington.
Hellahontas: What's that?
Arnold Smith: Washington is where I live.
Hellahontas: Really? What's it like?
Arnold Smith: Well, it has roads, cars, bridges over rivers, and buildings as tall as trees.
Hellahontas: Wow, sounds sweet. That'd be pretty cool to see some of those.
Arnold Smith: You will, we're going to build them here. We'll show you how to us this land properly, how to make the most of it, and then-
Hellahontas: Make the most of it??
Hellahontas was near anger.
Arnold Smith: Yeah, we'll pave roads, build decent houses-
Hellahontas was angry.
Hellahontas: Our houses are decent!! If they weren't we wouldn't be living in them...doi!!
Arnold Smith: You only think that becasue you don't know any better.
Hellahontas glared at Arnold, then slapped his face, hard. Arnold stepped back and frowned. Hellahontas ran to the lake and jumped in her canoe. Arnold ran to catch up with her.
Arnold Smith: Hey! Wait come back, you took that the wrong way!
Hellahontas: Screw off, you...you...you... FOOTBALL HEAD!!
Arnold Smith froze.
Arnold Smith: Now that's getting personal!!
As Arnold Smith ran towards Hellahontas, Plit flew up to Arnold's face and starting flapping his wings.
Plit: R-r-a-w-k!!!! Stupid basterd! Stupid basterd! R-r-r-r-r-awk!!!
Arnold hit the little green parrot hard with his hand, causing it to fall down to the ground. Arnold ran to catch up with Hellahontas and blocked her canoe.
Arnold Smith: Don't take it that way! I didn't mean it, really. There's so much we can teach you! We've improved the lives of cavemen all over--
Hellahontas spun around.
Hellahontas: CAVEMEN?!??!?!
Arnold looked like he could have hit himself for that comment.
Arnold Smith: Not...that you're a cavemen...
Hellahontas: Just my people!!
If looks could kill...Arnold would would be a walking dead man.
Arnold Smith: That isn't what I meant! Just listen to me.
Hellahontas tried to paddle away but Arnold held the canoe in place with his hands.
Hellahontas: You let me go!!
Arnold Smith: Just listen.
Hellahontas gave Arnold a you'll-live-to-regret-this-look. And he did. Hellahontas knocked Arnold in the jaw with her paddle, then jumped up, grabbed a tree branch from a tree that was above her and climbed through the tree branches. Arnold stood up in the shallow water and rubbed his jaw as he called to Hellahontas.
Arnold Smith: Look, please don't do this! Cavemen is just a word, for uh, how do I put this in a nice way...? Okay, I don't. Cavemen is just a word for uncivilized people.
Arnold jumped up into the tree and started climbing after her. Hellahontas clenched her teeth.
Hellahontas: Like me, right?
Arnold Smith: Well, when I say uncivilized I mean like...well...
Arnold grabbed onto a dead branch. It snapped and Arnold Smith fell to the grass, back first. He layed there for a couple of seconds then sat up and rubbed his head. Hellahontas quickly climbed down from the tree and walked towards him. There was a silence.
Hellahontas: You think I'm an ignorant cavemen... and you've been so many places, I guess it might be so. But still I cannot see... that the-
Arnold Smith: Wait a minute, wait a minute...did I miss something? Why are you singing?
Hellahontas: Well I thought the occassion called for it...;;
Arnold Smith: No...this isn't a cartoon..it's real life. So just tell me.
Hellahontas groaned.
Hellahontas: One, I am not a cavemen, Two, this is MY and MY PEOPLES land, you cannot take it! Three, this land contains my culture, and my beliefs, and if you take it aways from us, you'll be taking away our home. So you can tell your men to piss up a rope!!
Arnold stood up.
Arnold Smith: Okay, okay, I believe you. Look, I'm sorry and I didn't mean to offend you.
Hellahontas: Okay, well don't assume either. You can stay, but don't touch our lands.
Well, everything was back to normal, and they now got along. There was a long silence, then Hellahontas heard beating drums of in the distant.
Arnold Smith: What is it?
Hellahontas: Those drums, they mean trouble. Holy shit, I shouldn't be here.
Arnold Smith: I want to see you again.
Hellahontas: Don't tempt me...it'll only make things worse.
Arnold Smith: But...
Hellahontas: I have to go.
Arnold Smith: v.V;;
Hellahontas looks into her reflection of Arnold's helmet as Arnold snacks on hardtack.
Arnold Smith: It's called a helmet. It protects your head.
Hellahontas: Hmm... Helmet.
Hellahontas puts the helmet on her head. Arnold Smith tries to make conversation.
Arnold Smith: So...what's this lake called?
Hellathonas: Quiyoughcahannock.
Arnold Smith: Oh. You have the most..unusual names.
Hellahontas: Only because you're not used to them.
Arnold Smith: Well yeah.
Hellahontas: I didn't mean that in a rude way. Anway, Arnold Smith is an unusual name too.
Arnold Smith: I guess it kinda is. At least my name isn't JOHN Smith. That's like...the most common name in the whole world.
Arnold Smith put a hardtack cracker up the Leeko's mouth. Leeko sniffed and quickly bit into it, nearly taking Arnold's hand with it.
Arnold Smith: Woah!
Hellahontas: ^-^;;
Arnold Smith: So anyway-hey!
Arnold Smith takes out Leeko by the tail from the inside of his bag. Arnold chuckled to himself.
Hellahontas: Sorry about that. His name is Leeko.
Arnold Smith held out his hand to Leeko and gave a thumbs up.
Arnold Smith: How do you do Leeko?
Leeko sniffed Arnold's hand for crackers, then scowled when he found none.
Arnold Smith: No, it's how we say hello. It's called a weeohhhweeoohh.
Hellahontas looked at his hand with out moving.
Hellahontas:...is something supposed to happen?
Arnold groaned slightly and took her hand and wiggled his thumb.
Hellahontas: This is how we say hello. Win-gapo.
Hellahontas made a circle in the air with her hand.
Arnold Smith: Win...ga..po.
Arnold Smith heard a rustling inside his bag and saw Leeko scamper out of it. He held a small telescope.
Arnold Smith: Hey!
Hellahontas grew very impatient.
Hellahontas: Leeko!!!! You get back here RIGHT NOW!!!
Arnold Smith: It's alright, he can't hurt it-HEY!!!!
Leeko started smashing the telescope against the tree. Arnold gave up.
Arnold Smith: Guh...alright keep it. I'll just get another on in Washington.
Hellahontas: What's that?
Arnold Smith: Washington is where I live.
Hellahontas: Really? What's it like?
Arnold Smith: Well, it has roads, cars, bridges over rivers, and buildings as tall as trees.
Hellahontas: Wow, sounds sweet. That'd be pretty cool to see some of those.
Arnold Smith: You will, we're going to build them here. We'll show you how to us this land properly, how to make the most of it, and then-
Hellahontas: Make the most of it??
Hellahontas was near anger.
Arnold Smith: Yeah, we'll pave roads, build decent houses-
Hellahontas was angry.
Hellahontas: Our houses are decent!! If they weren't we wouldn't be living in them...doi!!
Arnold Smith: You only think that becasue you don't know any better.
Hellahontas glared at Arnold, then slapped his face, hard. Arnold stepped back and frowned. Hellahontas ran to the lake and jumped in her canoe. Arnold ran to catch up with her.
Arnold Smith: Hey! Wait come back, you took that the wrong way!
Hellahontas: Screw off, you...you...you... FOOTBALL HEAD!!
Arnold Smith froze.
Arnold Smith: Now that's getting personal!!
As Arnold Smith ran towards Hellahontas, Plit flew up to Arnold's face and starting flapping his wings.
Plit: R-r-a-w-k!!!! Stupid basterd! Stupid basterd! R-r-r-r-r-awk!!!
Arnold hit the little green parrot hard with his hand, causing it to fall down to the ground. Arnold ran to catch up with Hellahontas and blocked her canoe.
Arnold Smith: Don't take it that way! I didn't mean it, really. There's so much we can teach you! We've improved the lives of cavemen all over--
Hellahontas spun around.
Hellahontas: CAVEMEN?!??!?!
Arnold looked like he could have hit himself for that comment.
Arnold Smith: Not...that you're a cavemen...
Hellahontas: Just my people!!
If looks could kill...Arnold would would be a walking dead man.
Arnold Smith: That isn't what I meant! Just listen to me.
Hellahontas tried to paddle away but Arnold held the canoe in place with his hands.
Hellahontas: You let me go!!
Arnold Smith: Just listen.
Hellahontas gave Arnold a you'll-live-to-regret-this-look. And he did. Hellahontas knocked Arnold in the jaw with her paddle, then jumped up, grabbed a tree branch from a tree that was above her and climbed through the tree branches. Arnold stood up in the shallow water and rubbed his jaw as he called to Hellahontas.
Arnold Smith: Look, please don't do this! Cavemen is just a word, for uh, how do I put this in a nice way...? Okay, I don't. Cavemen is just a word for uncivilized people.
Arnold jumped up into the tree and started climbing after her. Hellahontas clenched her teeth.
Hellahontas: Like me, right?
Arnold Smith: Well, when I say uncivilized I mean like...well...
Arnold grabbed onto a dead branch. It snapped and Arnold Smith fell to the grass, back first. He layed there for a couple of seconds then sat up and rubbed his head. Hellahontas quickly climbed down from the tree and walked towards him. There was a silence.
Hellahontas: You think I'm an ignorant cavemen... and you've been so many places, I guess it might be so. But still I cannot see... that the-
Arnold Smith: Wait a minute, wait a minute...did I miss something? Why are you singing?
Hellahontas: Well I thought the occassion called for it...;;
Arnold Smith: No...this isn't a cartoon..it's real life. So just tell me.
Hellahontas groaned.
Hellahontas: One, I am not a cavemen, Two, this is MY and MY PEOPLES land, you cannot take it! Three, this land contains my culture, and my beliefs, and if you take it aways from us, you'll be taking away our home. So you can tell your men to piss up a rope!!
Arnold stood up.
Arnold Smith: Okay, okay, I believe you. Look, I'm sorry and I didn't mean to offend you.
Hellahontas: Okay, well don't assume either. You can stay, but don't touch our lands.
Well, everything was back to normal, and they now got along. There was a long silence, then Hellahontas heard beating drums of in the distant.
Arnold Smith: What is it?
Hellahontas: Those drums, they mean trouble. Holy shit, I shouldn't be here.
Arnold Smith: I want to see you again.
Hellahontas: Don't tempt me...it'll only make things worse.
Arnold Smith: But...
Hellahontas: I have to go.
Arnold Smith: v.V;;