Either Or
*
1 - If
*
Kagome decided to try again. She was sure they would grasp the concept sooner or later.
"You take the food out of the packaging, put it in the microwave, and turn it on."
Shippo raised his hand. "How do we know which is the packaging?"
"Good question, Shippo. The answer is: the part that's NOT the food."
"Well, yeah," said Inuyasha. "But with some of this stuff it's a fine line." He squinted at the package in his hand. "What the hell's 'Italian Pasta Dinner'? What's an Italian, anyway?"
"An Italian is someone who lives in Italy, a boot-shaped country which originally housed the Roman Empire, which is the seat of Western, that means not ours, culture. The Romans all wore robes called 'togas', which looked sort of like Miroku's robes-"
Miroku, hearing his name, looked up from trying to see down the front of Sango's dress. No one seemed to notice this, and he went back to work.
"- and that's who the Italians are descended from. As for this meal-" she grabbed it out of Inuyasha's hands and ripped one end of it open- "you take the plastic container out of the paper box, take the plastic wrap off of the plastic container, and put it in the microwave." She did so. "Okay. That will be MY dinner. Everyone else choose one from the freezer and queue up."
*
It was an extremely wet, miserable, rainy day in feudal Japan, and, by coincidence, also an extremely wet, miserable, rainy day in modern Japan. So the group was now in Kagome's living room, watching television and eating their microwaveable meals. At least, Kagome was. The rest were still in the kitchen. After about five minutes, Kagome set down he chopsticks resignedly.
"Miroku."
"Yes?"
"You took all the outside wrapping off?"
"Yes."
"You put the tray in the microwave."
"Yes."
"You set the timer."
"Yes."
"You pressed the 'start' button?"
Dead silence.
*
Kagome's Grandfather was sitting in the building that housed the well, trying to reorganize a filing cabinet and not doing very well. The rain drummed on the roof above his as he sorted.
"Let's see, if these were the donations for August, then." It went on and on and on. He finally ran out of manila folders, and decided to give it up. He turned off the lights, opened his umbrella, walked into the doorway with it, swore, closed it, stepped outside, reopened it with some difficulty, and walked off towards the house.
Behind him, there was a squeal as a board snapped. From the roof, a thin but quickly widening stream of water trickled down into the well. The surrounding woodwork was going to collapse it the weight of the water was not removed soon.
*
Everyone had finished their meal and were sitting around the TV, watching Iron Chef. Kagome and Sango, who both had secret desires to become good chefs, sat riveted in front of the screen as Chef Ingumongosaki glazed his ham. Inuyasha and Miroku, to whom fine cuisine was cooking your food on both sides before you ate it, were dozing off. Shippo was already asleep. Inuyasha's eyelids drooped, popped up, drooped, popped, up, and finally closed with conviction. He gently tipped over till his head was on Kagome's shoulder. He snored softly. Miroku looked over at him, smiled and then suddenly appeared to be come sleepy as well. His lids did the up, down routine Inuyasha's had, and he gently tipped over, slowly, until his face was resting in Sango's lap.
SMACK
Grandfather threw open the door, which bounced back off the wall and hit him squarely in the temple.
"OW. Okay, who fired the gun!?"
"There isn't any gun," said Kagome.
"I just got sleepy and leaned over and-"
"-He hit his head on the table," finished Kagome smoothly.
"You sure? Boy, I'd get an ice pack if I were you. Anyway, I'm off to the store to buy more filing folders. Say, where's your mother, anyway?"
"She said she was off at a PTA meeting-"
*
"Hit me," said Mrs. Higurashi
"Okay. You got twelve showing."
"Stay."
"Dealer has Blackjack."
*
"-and she won't be back until nightfall."
"Okay. Try not to break anything, I'll see you in a few hours.
"I think," said Sango, who was still looking at Miroku, "We had better get back to our time."
There was a lightning flash. Four seconds. There was a thunderclap.
"Okay." Kagome nudged Shippo awake with her foot and Inuyasha awake with her elbow.
"I swear, all that fuss just because I got tired and fell asleep."
"Did I miss something?" asked Inuyasha.
"Oh, nothing, he just took a cue off the way you fell asleep."
Inuyasha considered the possibilities. "You are one sick monk, Monk. Still, it was pretty original for you."
"Why thank you, Inuyasha."
They walked back to the well building.
"Well, I guess we're off to the past."
"Wait," said Kagome. "I think I-" she felt her pockets "Yes. I left my lipstick tube there. I though I might have dropped it on the way here."
Inuyasha leaned unnervingly close to her face and looked at her lips. "What's lipstick?"
"Girls put it on their lips to make them appear more red."
"You're kidding me."
"NO. Now let's go; that one was new."
Kagome, who was practiced at this by now, leapt over the edge of the well, and landed in-
-a foot of water. Nothing happened. Kagome made a mental note that the well did not work when filled with water.
"What the? Hey!" more water was streaming in from the hole in the ceiling.
Another lighting flash. Two seconds. Thunder
"I'll right, I'll get you out."
Inuyasha jumped in after her, and-
There was an unbelievably bright flash that coursed down the dripping water, so bright Miroku and the others were temporarily blinded.
Then there was thunder.
Feeling thoroughly shell-shocked, Miroku wended over to the well entrance, and looked down into it. It was empty.
"Don't worry! I'm coming!
He jumped in, and was not struck by lightning. But nothing happened. He jumped up and down. Nothing happened.
"Sango?"
Sango leaned over the edge of the well, but not so far as the front of her shirt could be looked down. She was developing subconscious reactions with Miroku.
"What?"
"I think the well is broken."
"Which means?"
"We are trapped here, in Kagome's time, without Kagome, but with her mother, who is going to want to know where her daughter went."
*
Kagome woke up. The lightning bolt had left her feeling like she had an extremely bad sunburn. She was lying on her back, and Inuyasha was not there, but she could see, in the flattened grass, where his body had been. She decided he must have already gone to sleep somewhere. Selfish pig. And yet, there were some qualities he had she simply adored. She cast a wary eye about for her lipstick container, and, not finding it, began to look under bushes.
Inuyasha was, in fact, a bit more wary about the situation. This place smelled different then when it usually did. Familiar, but different. Kagome would have associated it with something you dragged out of the attic after years of storage. Inuyasha had, on a hunch, decided to leave her next to the well, where she could get away if he needed to. His electrocution had only dampened his spirits, and he was feeling unusually pessimistic and suspicious.
The village, was right where he had left it, with the same nondescript huts and such. Well, similar nondescript huts. His memory was far from photographic, and the village did seem different. Not evil or deadly, just. different. He walked from building to building. Obviously, it couldn't be THAT different; people looked at him and went back to whatever they had been doing before.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a familiar face.
"Hey, Kagome! Hey! Do you know where to the others are?"
The young woman turned to him.
"Who's Kagome?" asked Kikyo.
*
1 - If
*
Kagome decided to try again. She was sure they would grasp the concept sooner or later.
"You take the food out of the packaging, put it in the microwave, and turn it on."
Shippo raised his hand. "How do we know which is the packaging?"
"Good question, Shippo. The answer is: the part that's NOT the food."
"Well, yeah," said Inuyasha. "But with some of this stuff it's a fine line." He squinted at the package in his hand. "What the hell's 'Italian Pasta Dinner'? What's an Italian, anyway?"
"An Italian is someone who lives in Italy, a boot-shaped country which originally housed the Roman Empire, which is the seat of Western, that means not ours, culture. The Romans all wore robes called 'togas', which looked sort of like Miroku's robes-"
Miroku, hearing his name, looked up from trying to see down the front of Sango's dress. No one seemed to notice this, and he went back to work.
"- and that's who the Italians are descended from. As for this meal-" she grabbed it out of Inuyasha's hands and ripped one end of it open- "you take the plastic container out of the paper box, take the plastic wrap off of the plastic container, and put it in the microwave." She did so. "Okay. That will be MY dinner. Everyone else choose one from the freezer and queue up."
*
It was an extremely wet, miserable, rainy day in feudal Japan, and, by coincidence, also an extremely wet, miserable, rainy day in modern Japan. So the group was now in Kagome's living room, watching television and eating their microwaveable meals. At least, Kagome was. The rest were still in the kitchen. After about five minutes, Kagome set down he chopsticks resignedly.
"Miroku."
"Yes?"
"You took all the outside wrapping off?"
"Yes."
"You put the tray in the microwave."
"Yes."
"You set the timer."
"Yes."
"You pressed the 'start' button?"
Dead silence.
*
Kagome's Grandfather was sitting in the building that housed the well, trying to reorganize a filing cabinet and not doing very well. The rain drummed on the roof above his as he sorted.
"Let's see, if these were the donations for August, then." It went on and on and on. He finally ran out of manila folders, and decided to give it up. He turned off the lights, opened his umbrella, walked into the doorway with it, swore, closed it, stepped outside, reopened it with some difficulty, and walked off towards the house.
Behind him, there was a squeal as a board snapped. From the roof, a thin but quickly widening stream of water trickled down into the well. The surrounding woodwork was going to collapse it the weight of the water was not removed soon.
*
Everyone had finished their meal and were sitting around the TV, watching Iron Chef. Kagome and Sango, who both had secret desires to become good chefs, sat riveted in front of the screen as Chef Ingumongosaki glazed his ham. Inuyasha and Miroku, to whom fine cuisine was cooking your food on both sides before you ate it, were dozing off. Shippo was already asleep. Inuyasha's eyelids drooped, popped up, drooped, popped, up, and finally closed with conviction. He gently tipped over till his head was on Kagome's shoulder. He snored softly. Miroku looked over at him, smiled and then suddenly appeared to be come sleepy as well. His lids did the up, down routine Inuyasha's had, and he gently tipped over, slowly, until his face was resting in Sango's lap.
SMACK
Grandfather threw open the door, which bounced back off the wall and hit him squarely in the temple.
"OW. Okay, who fired the gun!?"
"There isn't any gun," said Kagome.
"I just got sleepy and leaned over and-"
"-He hit his head on the table," finished Kagome smoothly.
"You sure? Boy, I'd get an ice pack if I were you. Anyway, I'm off to the store to buy more filing folders. Say, where's your mother, anyway?"
"She said she was off at a PTA meeting-"
*
"Hit me," said Mrs. Higurashi
"Okay. You got twelve showing."
"Stay."
"Dealer has Blackjack."
*
"-and she won't be back until nightfall."
"Okay. Try not to break anything, I'll see you in a few hours.
"I think," said Sango, who was still looking at Miroku, "We had better get back to our time."
There was a lightning flash. Four seconds. There was a thunderclap.
"Okay." Kagome nudged Shippo awake with her foot and Inuyasha awake with her elbow.
"I swear, all that fuss just because I got tired and fell asleep."
"Did I miss something?" asked Inuyasha.
"Oh, nothing, he just took a cue off the way you fell asleep."
Inuyasha considered the possibilities. "You are one sick monk, Monk. Still, it was pretty original for you."
"Why thank you, Inuyasha."
They walked back to the well building.
"Well, I guess we're off to the past."
"Wait," said Kagome. "I think I-" she felt her pockets "Yes. I left my lipstick tube there. I though I might have dropped it on the way here."
Inuyasha leaned unnervingly close to her face and looked at her lips. "What's lipstick?"
"Girls put it on their lips to make them appear more red."
"You're kidding me."
"NO. Now let's go; that one was new."
Kagome, who was practiced at this by now, leapt over the edge of the well, and landed in-
-a foot of water. Nothing happened. Kagome made a mental note that the well did not work when filled with water.
"What the? Hey!" more water was streaming in from the hole in the ceiling.
Another lighting flash. Two seconds. Thunder
"I'll right, I'll get you out."
Inuyasha jumped in after her, and-
There was an unbelievably bright flash that coursed down the dripping water, so bright Miroku and the others were temporarily blinded.
Then there was thunder.
Feeling thoroughly shell-shocked, Miroku wended over to the well entrance, and looked down into it. It was empty.
"Don't worry! I'm coming!
He jumped in, and was not struck by lightning. But nothing happened. He jumped up and down. Nothing happened.
"Sango?"
Sango leaned over the edge of the well, but not so far as the front of her shirt could be looked down. She was developing subconscious reactions with Miroku.
"What?"
"I think the well is broken."
"Which means?"
"We are trapped here, in Kagome's time, without Kagome, but with her mother, who is going to want to know where her daughter went."
*
Kagome woke up. The lightning bolt had left her feeling like she had an extremely bad sunburn. She was lying on her back, and Inuyasha was not there, but she could see, in the flattened grass, where his body had been. She decided he must have already gone to sleep somewhere. Selfish pig. And yet, there were some qualities he had she simply adored. She cast a wary eye about for her lipstick container, and, not finding it, began to look under bushes.
Inuyasha was, in fact, a bit more wary about the situation. This place smelled different then when it usually did. Familiar, but different. Kagome would have associated it with something you dragged out of the attic after years of storage. Inuyasha had, on a hunch, decided to leave her next to the well, where she could get away if he needed to. His electrocution had only dampened his spirits, and he was feeling unusually pessimistic and suspicious.
The village, was right where he had left it, with the same nondescript huts and such. Well, similar nondescript huts. His memory was far from photographic, and the village did seem different. Not evil or deadly, just. different. He walked from building to building. Obviously, it couldn't be THAT different; people looked at him and went back to whatever they had been doing before.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a familiar face.
"Hey, Kagome! Hey! Do you know where to the others are?"
The young woman turned to him.
"Who's Kagome?" asked Kikyo.