Rockin' On
An Final Fantasy Humour Fic
Cheesy title, i know, so sue me.
Disclaimer:I don't own any of the ffs, sadly, so if i nick anythin that isn't mine then it ain't my fault, and if ya don't like it the you can come and meet me mate Loz, who is 6' 5'', and has a fixation with bludgeoning swords. Gottit?? This is also me first fic, so don't be annoyed at me, but feel free to insult me all ya want.
*********************************************************************** Chapter 1: A Intro to this story wot i be writing.
All is peaceful in Balamb Garden, where our story begins.(so what?? i love ff8) At least, all is peaceful until about 6:30 in the morning, when Selphie wakes up and begins her daily sugar-high reign of terror.
Selph: *bounds into cafeteria in usual squeaky voice* YO!!!! SUP????? Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee*Pauses for lack of oxygen*eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee*asphyxiates*
KOV:Goddamit!!*revives selphie with author magic* not 15 lines into a fic and i've already killed off one of teh main charecters. Yes!! MWAHAHAHAHA!! *runs and hides for a bit*
All fo the ff8 crew are sitting round their usual table watching selphie go mad with the coffee machine, ordering more than enough to suffice any caffiene freak's obsession for the magic liquid for several days, and DOWN IT ALL IN ONE GO.........
Squall: ya know, we really ought to do something with her.......
Quistis: Yeah, with an axe......
All: O_o(so what, i always thought that quistis was evil inside really...)
Irvine: Actually, erm, erm, erm, erm, erm, erm...........
Squall: GRAARGH!! *gets out lionheart and pushes over irvine's chair, with lionheart at irvine's neck* RIGHT!! now, no more hesitating from you, Mr Jumped-Up-Pretty_Boy!!
Zell: Whoa, Squall, Man...
Squall: PARDON!!!!!
Zell: Erm, i mean, Sir..
Squall; That's better.....*bends over and sucks his thumb whilst making 'gaa gaa' noises*
KOV: Again, a magic interjection by the author, heehee. Squall's a big baybee...awwwwww.
Squall:*suddenly charges up the lionhert through shoving it into the coffee machine and ordering everything* Oh Yes!!! the caffieney goodness creates teh ultimate limit break, the Massive Cappucino-Blast- Slash_Thing_Kinda_Sortof!!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!*charges at KOV with evil gleam in red eyes, leving a trail of stale coffee froth*
KOV: Ok, i, urk, see your point, now can ya point that thing in another direction before you have somebodies eye out??
Zell: Hey dude, I.
KOV: Blark!! I can't stand this sk8r attitude any longer!!!! *kills zell with author magic ultimate spell, the Fluffy Pink Bunnies Of Ultimate Destruction* Heehee, take that!!
Zell: AArgh!! *runs away as pink bunnies try to eat his toes*
KOV: Right, that's got rid of him.
Selphie: Erexcusememrauthormancanyoubringzellbackcoswealthinkhe'sreallycoolandeveryth ingwhateveretcetera!!
KOV:O_o, erm, anyone get that??
Everyone: Nope!!
KOV: Ohhhhkkayyyyy. anyhoo, i always liked that ultimate chain of destruction thing that he did, so i think i'll bring him back. *magics zell back to cafeteria with 2 pink bunnies hanging onto his trousers*
Zell: =:-( AARGH!!! *runs around cafeteria looking stuypid* AARGH!!*slams into coffee machine and passes out*
KOV: Yes!! GOOOAALLLL!!!!!!! *50 free black coffees fall out*
Pink Bunnies Of Ultimate Destruction: Erm, excuse me, our worker's collective believes that we are being underestimated in our acting potential.
KOV and everyone: Eh??
PBOUD: Well, we believe that just being rabid pink bunnies that kill people at KOV's command may give all the reviewers and viewers negative vibes about our sensitivity and everything.
KOV: Ok, fair do's, you're dismissed.
PBOUD: Whoohoo! Party Time!! *Pulls out massive ghetto blaster with Judas Priest blaring on it.*
*Magic transformation comes over everyone in the cafeteria*
All: Whooaaa!! Sweet!!! Detuned riffing!! Yess!!!*exclaimation mark key busts from overuse*
KOV: Goddamit. No. I can't make any of my overhyped 1940's expletives work in a viscious manner. Oh well, better resort to 2000's expletives
%£$@()*&&$$^&*&^*&^*&^*????$%$^&&&&&
Goodie.
Selphie: Hey guys, i've got a great idea....
*********************************************************************** Oooh, scary. what will Selphie's great idea be?? Find out in teh next chapter!! or don't, if you really want to be that perverse, but then you won't find out what selphie's great idea is and you won't be able to follow the storyline anymore because you missed out taht chapter and this will lead you to becoming a raving psychopathic pink bunny murdering madman i bet you can't say that sentence all in one breath.*Pause whilst much rotting vegetation flies at oneself* Ouch.
Knight Of Valhala.
Cheesy title, i know, so sue me.
Disclaimer:I don't own any of the ffs, sadly, so if i nick anythin that isn't mine then it ain't my fault, and if ya don't like it the you can come and meet me mate Loz, who is 6' 5'', and has a fixation with bludgeoning swords. Gottit?? This is also me first fic, so don't be annoyed at me, but feel free to insult me all ya want.
*********************************************************************** Chapter 1: A Intro to this story wot i be writing.
All is peaceful in Balamb Garden, where our story begins.(so what?? i love ff8) At least, all is peaceful until about 6:30 in the morning, when Selphie wakes up and begins her daily sugar-high reign of terror.
Selph: *bounds into cafeteria in usual squeaky voice* YO!!!! SUP????? Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee*Pauses for lack of oxygen*eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee*asphyxiates*
KOV:Goddamit!!*revives selphie with author magic* not 15 lines into a fic and i've already killed off one of teh main charecters. Yes!! MWAHAHAHAHA!! *runs and hides for a bit*
All fo the ff8 crew are sitting round their usual table watching selphie go mad with the coffee machine, ordering more than enough to suffice any caffiene freak's obsession for the magic liquid for several days, and DOWN IT ALL IN ONE GO.........
Squall: ya know, we really ought to do something with her.......
Quistis: Yeah, with an axe......
All: O_o(so what, i always thought that quistis was evil inside really...)
Irvine: Actually, erm, erm, erm, erm, erm, erm...........
Squall: GRAARGH!! *gets out lionheart and pushes over irvine's chair, with lionheart at irvine's neck* RIGHT!! now, no more hesitating from you, Mr Jumped-Up-Pretty_Boy!!
Zell: Whoa, Squall, Man...
Squall: PARDON!!!!!
Zell: Erm, i mean, Sir..
Squall; That's better.....*bends over and sucks his thumb whilst making 'gaa gaa' noises*
KOV: Again, a magic interjection by the author, heehee. Squall's a big baybee...awwwwww.
Squall:*suddenly charges up the lionhert through shoving it into the coffee machine and ordering everything* Oh Yes!!! the caffieney goodness creates teh ultimate limit break, the Massive Cappucino-Blast- Slash_Thing_Kinda_Sortof!!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!*charges at KOV with evil gleam in red eyes, leving a trail of stale coffee froth*
KOV: Ok, i, urk, see your point, now can ya point that thing in another direction before you have somebodies eye out??
Zell: Hey dude, I.
KOV: Blark!! I can't stand this sk8r attitude any longer!!!! *kills zell with author magic ultimate spell, the Fluffy Pink Bunnies Of Ultimate Destruction* Heehee, take that!!
Zell: AArgh!! *runs away as pink bunnies try to eat his toes*
KOV: Right, that's got rid of him.
Selphie: Erexcusememrauthormancanyoubringzellbackcoswealthinkhe'sreallycoolandeveryth ingwhateveretcetera!!
KOV:O_o, erm, anyone get that??
Everyone: Nope!!
KOV: Ohhhhkkayyyyy. anyhoo, i always liked that ultimate chain of destruction thing that he did, so i think i'll bring him back. *magics zell back to cafeteria with 2 pink bunnies hanging onto his trousers*
Zell: =:-( AARGH!!! *runs around cafeteria looking stuypid* AARGH!!*slams into coffee machine and passes out*
KOV: Yes!! GOOOAALLLL!!!!!!! *50 free black coffees fall out*
Pink Bunnies Of Ultimate Destruction: Erm, excuse me, our worker's collective believes that we are being underestimated in our acting potential.
KOV and everyone: Eh??
PBOUD: Well, we believe that just being rabid pink bunnies that kill people at KOV's command may give all the reviewers and viewers negative vibes about our sensitivity and everything.
KOV: Ok, fair do's, you're dismissed.
PBOUD: Whoohoo! Party Time!! *Pulls out massive ghetto blaster with Judas Priest blaring on it.*
*Magic transformation comes over everyone in the cafeteria*
All: Whooaaa!! Sweet!!! Detuned riffing!! Yess!!!*exclaimation mark key busts from overuse*
KOV: Goddamit. No. I can't make any of my overhyped 1940's expletives work in a viscious manner. Oh well, better resort to 2000's expletives
%£$@()*&&$$^&*&^*&^*&^*????$%$^&&&&&
Goodie.
Selphie: Hey guys, i've got a great idea....
*********************************************************************** Oooh, scary. what will Selphie's great idea be?? Find out in teh next chapter!! or don't, if you really want to be that perverse, but then you won't find out what selphie's great idea is and you won't be able to follow the storyline anymore because you missed out taht chapter and this will lead you to becoming a raving psychopathic pink bunny murdering madman i bet you can't say that sentence all in one breath.*Pause whilst much rotting vegetation flies at oneself* Ouch.
Knight Of Valhala.