Chapter 4: Murals
Kagome was surprised to find that her anxiety had mostly eased. Aside from a sore arm and a lingering headache, she felt none the worse for wear. The warm light form her window was comforting, and when the breeze was right it carried the scent of the flowers growing on the slope. She knew Sesshoumaru would come after dark, but she felt much better knowing what the danger was.
It was too quiet for her tastes. Only faint woodland noises reached her ears. Kagome was not used to being so alone, she liked to talk, there was rarely a moment when she wasn't among friends.
She was lonely.
'A month,' she thought sadly. 'I wonder which will be worse? The days or the nights?' The room was empty. There was simply nothing for her to do, and it was already beginning to wear on her.
She almost welcomed the night. She ached to see another face, even if it was Sesshoumaru's. Silently, she waited, glad for the faint moonlight tonight. Twenty-seven more days before the light went out once more. 'What will have changed,' she wondered, 'when the darkness finds me next?'
Her thoughts were interrupted, at last, by Sesshoumaru's quiet entrance.
"Good evening!" She smiled fleetingly, a reflexive action she couldn't seem to shake. She realized how brightly she had accidentally spoken, and looked down sheepishly. She just got a little carried away with the company.
Sesshoumaru gave her a strange look.
He was watching her very closely. When her head had snapped up at his arrival, he had been prepared for anything but the sudden cheerfulness. She had moved her bed under the lone shaft of light. The moist air rolled in through the window, glowing fuzzily in the faint light. She looked like she was suspended in it. The silver beams illuminated her pale face and dark hair serenely, even as her eyes jumped with light. She was hardly more than a child. '...to cage something of such innocence and beauty-'
He pushed Bokusenou's lingering words back down in his mind. He had a purpose to accomplish here tonight. The girl was even now looking up at him expectantly.
"Are you well tonight?" he asked perfunctorily.
She inclined her head slightly. "I suppose."
He nodded and made his way over to her.
"Wait," she called slightly. "Could you... light the lamp?"
He looked at her curiously. "Can you still not see?"
"I can see ok," she responded nervously, "but in the light, I'm less... afraid."
He silently lit the lamp on the wall, watching as the girl visibly relaxed. He knelt down next to her. Even sitting on the bed, they were of near height. Her fingers twitched nervously. She was afraid of him and what she knew was coming.
His one hand loosely grasped her ankles where they hung from the bed, lifting them and laying them to rest on the bed. She let out a shaky breath as he pushed her shoulders down, her heart thumping wildly in her chest. It took a great amount of will-power to restrain herself as Sesshoumaru stretched her across the bed. He took her bandaged wrist and slowly unwrapped it as she held it still for him.
"Are you ready?" he asked, ignoring sound of her blood rushing angrily through her veins.
She was momentarily startled by his concern until she realized he was just trying to make sure she had her power under control. She braced herself. "Yes."
She hissed when his sharp claw reopened the clean line. She tried to tell herself that she wasn't really in danger, hoping to assuage her instincts. It worked only marginally, as she again felt the surge in her energies the moment Sesshoumaru started sucking at her wrist. It was so much more difficult to hold it in than to simply let it do as it wanted. She hardly felt the pain on her wrist as beads of sweat started to form from her exertion. Her power seemed to consider her attempt at control a renewed threat, and fought all the harder. It screamed painfully in her mind.
'I can do this,' she thought determinedly, 'This is part of me. I can control it.' She searched inside herself, finding the corner of her mind that was still calm. Desperately, she latched onto it, willing it to spread. The cacophony in her ears dimmed as her raging powers slowly yielded to her control. She gave an audible sigh of relief as she finally locked down her power.
She looked at Sesshoumaru and found his eyes watching her face rather than her wrist. "I'm ok now, I think," she whispered, more to herself than to him. She cringed when his tongue stirred the cut, but did not allow her purifying energy to reemerge. "That hurts, you know." Realizing Sesshoumaru was something of a captive audience, she allowed herself to relieve some of her thoughts. "I'm not sure I can take this. It's only been two days, and already I'm struggling. Doesn't really matter, though, does it? You're the one who decides when we get to stop, and I know you intend to follow this through." He looked at her blandly. "I guess I'm just a weak human, after all."
Sesshoumaru finished in silence, cleaning his lips of lingering traces of her blood as he replaced her bindings.
"How is all of this supposed to work, Sesshoumaru?" The girls wide brown eyes watched him unflinchingly even as he met her with his full stare. "Is this part of some kind of spell?"
A moment of silence passed as Sesshoumaru decided whether to speak. "More of a remedy."
She drew a breath, half-surprised he had answered. "A remedy? How does my blood come in?"
"As it is written," he said smoothly, "The blood of a true healer can restore wounds of the flesh. Consumed over a period of one cycle of the moon, it should transfer its healing power to whomever it is donated. When completed, my body should restore itself."
"As it is written?" she asked curiously, sitting up and rubbing her arm.
He nodded. "An old writing. Translated, it reads: 'From the darkness a true healer's essence, consumed through the growing light. When the luminance wanes, the wounds of the flesh, by that grace are healed. Renewal shall come on the darkest night.'"
Kagome listened thoughtfully to Sesshoumaru's low voice. "It doesn't sound like just a remedy."
Sesshoumaru looked at her impatiently. "It is a translation from a very old language. I suspect the phrasing is the liberty of the translator."
Kagome rubbed her head tiredly. "Wait a moment... that was awfully vague. And you say that it has been liberally translated. How do you know you're doing this right?"
"I have had assistance from one who is more familiar with these matters." He glared at her boldness. "You should be hopeful that I am correct in my interpretation, young miko."
"And if you're not?"
"Then we shall try again until we get it right."
Kagome paled.
Sesshoumaru stood to leave her and she felt a faint tug of loneliness.
"Sesshoumaru... do you think that if this works, you might let me go?" She asked nervously.
He searched her sad face, his expression unreadable. He could easily refuse to answer. After all, it wasn't her place to ask something like that of him. Still, perhaps she would be easier to handle if she thought she had some hope of freedom. "Perhaps," he answered casually.
The look she gave him was so full of hope he had to turn and leave.
Three nights in this place had passed for Kagome, two since Sesshoumaru had begun his experiment. Her fears had faded over the long hours, the same worries for her companions whirred dully in her mind. She was lonely, and very, very bored.
If someone had offered her the chance for some solid rest time a week ago, she might have jumped at the offer. Now, she would give anything to join the hustle and bustle of the outside world. She found herself staring at the walls and trying to imagine what was on the other side. She had even caught herself talking aloud to the empty room a few times. Aside from Jaken's visit in the morning and Sesshoumaru's at night, she didn't see another soul. If she didn't have that window to let in some of the sounds and smell of the outside world, she was certain the room would crush her.
Jaken had come and gone. He had added to his previous list of epithets for her before slamming the door in her face. Kagome supposed he just liked to be above somebody for a change and ignored his blustering.
After she had eaten, she found herself once again staring at the wall and wishing she could just pass through them. If only her bag were with her! She finally had the perfect opportunity to catch up on her studies, and all her books were well beyond her reach. She picked idly at a piece of cracked mortar. Despite this, the room was still generally in good repair. The stonework was sound, and Kagome could feel the spells surrounding the place. The walls were not the real barrier to overcome for a powerful being locked in this room.
Eager for any distraction, it made her prod at the loose piece more. Determined to remove it, she fetched her chopsticks and chipped carefully, trying to make it come free whole. With a clatter that sounded loudly in the empty room, the fragment fell to the floor. Kagome picked it up and looked at it curiously. What now?
It only took Sesshoumaru a second to recognize the change in the room, even in the dark. He lit a lamp, then cast a glance from Kagome sitting on the edge of her bed to the north wall.
The north wall, in short, looked like the margins of a middle school student's math book. Whitish scrawls cris-crossed the gray stone, imaginative doodles and nonsensical words meshing together in a collage of Kagome's scattered thoughts. He recognized the onnade; her handwriting was very pretty. It reminded him of his mother's old writings. Other forms of writing were scattered about, and he was surprised to see some of the forms were unfamiliar to him. Some characters he was forced to disregard as squiggles. Why, he wondered curiously, would this girl have occasion to learn to write? And more interesting, what manner of writing was this?
He looked back to find her staring sheepishly at the floor. "I'm sorry," she said in a small voice. When he didn't respond, she tentatively looked up.
She peered through her dark hair as he raised his eyebrows in question.
"I got bored," she mumbled.
He turned and studied her scribbles for a moment more. "What did you write with?"
He didn't seem mad...not that it was easy to tell. Grudgingly, she took out what was left of the piece of mortar, tossing it to him. He turned it over once in his hand, matching the piece to the slot on the wall. He tossed it back to her, looking uninterested. Kagome let out the breath she was holding. She had been worried over his reaction, but her idleness had demanded she do something. This was simply what had suggested itself.
She found him kneeling by her bedside, looking thoughtfully into her face. "Are you well tonight?"
"Would it matter if I wasn't?" She sighed, fearlessly returning his gaze.
He raised one graceful eyebrow at her petulance. She wasn't as frightened tonight, though he supposed that was to be expected. She didn't offer a hint of resistance this time when he guided her to a laying position and inspected her previous wounds. It was strange, he had never really observed the human healing process in any detail before. His cuts were not very large, but even after a full day they showed only partial signs of healing. He ran his fingers over the thin scab. How long would it take, and would they scar? She was so fragile...
"Sesshoumaru?" she called softly.
His attention snapped back to the task at hand. He squeezed her wrist once in warning before carefully cutting her.
Kagome gasped, her eyes widening as soon as he tasted her. He was spellbound, watching her face as she reigned and collared the power within herself. Her breath shortened. Her dark eyes had lost their focus, shining as they darted around the blank room. He felt a tug and realized her unoccupied hand had once again found the empty sleeve draped across her body. Her slender fingers curled tightly around the slippery fabric, her knuckles losing some of their color. Still, she made no attempt to wrest her trapped arm away from the demon lord, even as the rest of her body trembled with her efforts. Her heartbeat was loud in his ears.
A shudder ran through her. Gradually, her body's pace calmed, her breathing steadying as she lay beneath him. Her softly penetrating eyes looked at him from under heavy dark eyelashes. Her hand unclenched, gently stroking the fabric until it lay smooth again.
A small smile hovered on her shadowy face. "I don't think it was as bad this time," she said softly. "Maybe it won't be so painful anymore."
What did it feel like, he couldn't help but wonder. What was really happening in this girl's small body? It was strange for this creature to be lying docilely in front of him; he was having difficulty reconciling this person with the one who had fought against him those many times with Inuyasha. There was something burning in her, smoldering just behind her eyes. He had seen that fire flare before, manifesting itself in that seething light that seemed to pour from her like water from a spring. The slightest stirring of wind could stir those sparks, scatter the drops of her power. Such power... under the tenuous control of such a mercurial soul.
That strange wave washed over him warmly and he reluctantly withdrew. He gave her cut a slow lick, cleaning it of any remnants. She watched him thoughtfully as he carefully cleaned and wrapped the wound he had made.
Kagome sat with her arms wrapped around her knees as Sesshoumaru made to leave. "Goodnight Sesshoumaru," she said softly.
Sesshoumaru paused at the door, gazing emotionlessly out at the night. "Goodnight," he answered smoothly.
"Kagome," she prompted.
Sesshoumaru made no sign of having heard her and shut the door.
The next morning, Kagome didn't wake until Jaken came to bring her food. She sat up groggily, jumping when she discovered the toad-like demon standing directly in front of her.
She brought a hand tiredly to her sore head. It seemed like there was always a constant buzzing in her mind these past few days. "Is there something you want?"
"Humph. Stupid human. Give me your arm." He yanked her left arm away from her and started to unwrap her bandages. "Sesshoumaru-sama commanded that your cuts be tended." He said this only to make it clear that he held no sympathy for the girl. There was little chance, however, that Kagome would have leapt to that conclusion.
She wrinkled her nose in distaste at the feeling of Jaken's skin. He smeared some pungent smelling mixture over her cuts before re-bandaging her wrist. The toad had a bad habit of mumbling under his breath. She listened half-heartedly as he ranted about everything from the indignity of being told to help a human to praise for Sesshoumaru and his decision to make the pesky miko suffer.
She was relieved when Jaken finally gathered everything up and left her in relative peace. She ambled over to inspect her breakfast, and was surprised to find two chunks of limestone sitting next to the food. Kagome smiled broadly. She supposed this was Sesshoumaru's way of telling her to stop chipping at his walls.
By the fifth night, she had grown accustomed to the dreary routine of this place. The days were lonely, and every night Sesshoumaru would appear when the moon shone through her small window.
Sesshoumaru was as distant as ever, but Kagome no longer heard such a cruel edge in his voice. Still, his business-like attitude stung her. She hoped, probably in vain, that he would show at least some remorse or discomfort at locking her away like this, but nothing seemed to reach him.
Perhaps he had reason to be cold to her. It was partially due to her presence that he had lost that arm. It had not really been her fault, and Sesshoumaru had probably deserved it. Still, she couldn't help but feel a little sorry about it.
He didn't scare her anymore. Well, not much. Certainly visions of his bloody battles remained fresh in her memory, but she distanced them in her mind. If there was anything she had learned from hanging out with Inuyasha and the others, it was that you can't judge a person by their body count.
And so, Kagome found herself on her sixth night of imprisonment, the contemptuous youkai latched onto her once more. The initial pain cleared, leaving only a slight haze in her mind. But that seemed always to be present now, so she pushed it from her thoughts.
Thoughtfully, she watched Sesshoumaru. "I've been thinking..." she said evenly.
His golden eyes flashed up briefly to look at her.
"I've been thinking about you... and about this remedy of yours. And, well, maybe if I help, it will work better."
Sesshoumaru waited for the change in the balance of his blood before pulling away to satisfy his curiosity. He leaned down until his face was directly over hers. "And how, miko, do you intend to do that?"
Her eyes fluttered nervously. "I don't know. But I thought, maybe, if I tried I might be able to help more. Maybe I can control whatever it is that's inside of me."
Sesshoumaru's imperious silence put on her edge and she rambled defensively.
"I know you probably don't believe me, but I do want this to work. I'm sure, if I really try, I'll be able to help a lot more."
Her brown eyes looked hopefully up at him, though he could not decide what it was she hoped for. "It does not matter, miko. Try as you will."
He rose and tended her with a practiced detachment. He found his eyes straying to her writings on the wall. The north wall became more jumbled everyday with more chaotic nonsense, but the rest of the room was different. The west wall, holding the door, held the beginnings of a mural. She had carefully sketched the outline of a forest scene. She was taking great care to do it properly, he could tell. No doubt the girl was trying to make use of her surplus spare time. His eyes were drawn to the south wall, where only a few chalk marks had yet found their way.
Three crescents were drawn following a blank space, each of slightly greater breadth than the last. They were carefully spaced; one might project that twenty-eight such shapes could possibly encircle the room. They were not quite at the top of the wall... 'but then, she cannot reach that high,' he mused.
He let his eyes travel over the room once more, taking in everything new she had drawn over the day. Poor attempts at practicing math without a text, and some scrawled comments regarding the frustrations involved in such an endeavor. A few new half-hearted sketches of random things. A spattering of words, illustrating her opinions on whatever happened to cross her mind at the moment. In the jumble, he might have glimpsed an indication about her headaches and strange feelings, but he did not give any sign.
"I really do mean it," she said softly. "I do want to help you."
He turned a hard look on her. "Why?"
She looked almost confused for a moment before she answered. "Because you're hurt," she said, as if it explained everything.
She meant it. He had a hunch that if this girl tried to lie, she would fail miserably. No, she genuinely was concerned about him.
She was right to yield to the inevitable. It was only proper that the girl learn her place and submit to him, even offer herself as she was doing. But something about it frustrated him. He wanted her subordination; he didn't want her charity. And yet... he would be a fool to throw aside an opportunity so easily obtained.
It was not what he expected. Nor did he expect it when she gave him a hesitant smile.
'You have captured a pure creature, Sesshoumaru.'
He cast aside errant thoughts. They seemed to multiply every time he looked into her wide open face. He could punish her... she was the one catalyzing all these strange ideas. But to harm her further... he feared it would only worsen matters.
Further, he was met with a somewhat startling revelation. He did not like to hurt her.
Thoughtfully, he ran a hand through her raven hair, watching in fascination as the strands flowed over his fingers. The girl watched him curiously. It was brighter tonight, and so were her eyes. Softly, he pulled away from her.
"Goodnight, Kagome," he said, much as one would tell an errant child who had strayed after bed time. Her smile twitched again, if only slightly.
He closed the door behind him again, feeling slightly strange. His blood was constantly adjusting under his remedy; it was to be expected. Still, there was a nagging feeling, as if there was something he had forgotten. And insubordinate thoughts.
'How will you justify it when you consume that light?'
Hi again. Sorry I haven't been able to update as frequently as previously. I just don't have as much time this semester. All the same, thanks for all the interest in this story (which still kind of surprises me, but hey, whatever you want).
That said, I'm making a resolution to update something next week. No guarantees that it will be this story, but something.
Please feel free to leave reviews of any persuasion; I'm bulletproof.
-Aiwe
This chapter last modified: Tuesday, September 23, 2003