Rockin On
A Final Fantasy Humour Fic
Disclaimer: Can't be bothered, make one up yahselves. oh, if i must.....I do not own any of the stuff that i may happen to mention in this foolish and pointless piece of writing, slap me if i do, Kay?
Right, i've thought up an excuse for my lousy update rates, erm, actually, i haven't. *throws self on readers mercy* Forgive me!!!
*********************************************************************** Chapter 8: the Concert, Mayhap, If I Get Round To It
DAY: *notices disclaimer* Shoudn't have said that....*SLAP* *SLAP*
KOV: Ow man, i thought i destroyed that thing last chapter....
DAY: Noe, but i've improved it now! KOV-Slapping device mark 2! *SLAP*
KOV: Gragh! *makes device explode with an impromptu Doomsday spell*
Vivi Ornitier (ya know, the little dude from ff9): Oi man, my spell!
KOV: *sets vivi's coat on fire* Sod off out my universe, shorty..
Quistis: *briefly bouncing off the walls of sanity* Now, is it really your universe, or are you just creating some kinda psychomatic reaction to the prevalent sense of inferiority and manic depression inside yah're head?
KOV: *sigh* somebody take that bloody freudian rubbish book out of her hands, please........... ... ... ... ... before i burn it out....
Quistis: Ok, beep, beep, whheeeeeeee! *collapses into a space much, much smaller than an atom*
Zell: Nooooo! Quisty!!! *sob*
Seifer: Can it wuss...
Zell: ANGSTY-SPURNED-LOVER-SLAP!!!!! *SLAP*
Seifer gets lifted off the floor and dumped through a nearby window by the new ultimate Zell limit break, angsty-spurned-lover-slap.
(AN: God, how my mind works...)
Squall: Such is true man.....
KOV: Hey, yah're not supposed to be able to read dat!
Squall: So, they're there, man, in big shiny purple letters 10 feet high, sort of stretched, and flashing on and off, man...
KOV; *turning away, whispering* Yep, he's wasted....soembody find out if he's growing it, kay?.....and get me some.....
DAY: naughty naughty....
Irvine: Gragh!! there he goes again! always with the tacky space-filling rubbish that he puts in to make himself sound more interseting and less geeky than he actually is!! come on, he wears plaid shirts! and glasses! GEEK!
Quistis: *pulling out whip and giving it an experimental crack* Problem wid people who where glasses, foo'? *brief shudders from all ofn the pervs in the audience at quistis standing there with a whip*
Irvine: Ahhh.. no, be nice.....*tish* arrgh!
DAY: Hey man, come to think of it, where was the revival bit in between where ya just mentioned quisty and the last time ya destroyed her?
KOV: Care do i not.....babylon cna stick my fic...up it's *SLAP*
Selphie: ohnohe'sfoundsquallsillegalherbage!
KOV: Damn straight i have....
DAY: Whoa, in this wasterd state he can actually understand what selph8ie says! man, we need to get more of this stuff, and the mysteries of teh sugar high speech can be revealed!
Zell: Not a chance, we need his bass....*gives KOV 6 cans of mountain dew and a coffee machine with infinite credit facility* He won't be able to resist....watch....the species KOVus Lazius Maddus Nutterus in it's natural environment, what a great oppurtunity this is, truly a great oppurtunity to witness this rare beast in it's natural environment....utterly fantastic....truly rare footage this....oh, and whats happening now?...Ah, yes, hye's coming this way...what a great beast....AAh, what's he doing?
KOV: Stop bloody pretending yah're bill oddie man, it don't suit, really....
Zell: Wahhhhh! *runs away lest he feels the wrath of the pink bunnies*
KOV: And talking of wah, let us continue with the Hendrix, ultimate wahlord himself.
*SLAP*
KOV: *fiddling with jaw* Mark 3?
Quisty: Better believe it, and it's mine!! all mine!!
Irvine: Medication is called for...
Edward: Durn Right.....*gnaws asparagus*
Quisty: See, it just talked again!! *picks up edward by bow tie* Hey you, say summat, overgrown gerbil!
Edward: Stuff you, ya sadistic slapper! *gnaws asparagus*
Quisty: See!! See!!! it does talk!!!! I'm gonna knock your bleedin block off, ya little freak!!!!!
DAY: Exclaimation mark alert! Penalisation for use of five exclaimation marks is quick and messy death! *uses author magic to turn quistis into a minature model of sperm whale and a bowl of petunias* Right, now, back to the plot....
KOV: See, even my madness permeates those around me after a while, permenant psycopathy is the order of teh day around here it seems...as you can see *materialises blackboard with complex diagrams and equations on it and a pointer* with this handy equation, P.L.O.T..AND..HUMOUR..FIC..=..INCOMPATIBLE, and with this handy equation, K.O.V..=..LACK..OF..CAFFIENE..AND..SUGAR..=..MANIC..DEPRESSION, as you can see. *collapses, puts head on knees, and starts crying*
Squall: Right dudes, let moi take over from here. As you can see, KOV has just collapsed crying due to a lck of caffiene and a constant debasement of faith by his contempories as to his political beliefs...
All: Whut?
Squall: Hey all, as KOV ain't compos, i'll allow ya in here, but only until he regains consciousness. And in answer to your question, he gave me a 3 hour lecture this morning about the virtues of socialim in today's society.
Everyone: Poor bugger.....
kOV: Durn straight...laughing to stop from crying man.... and all, if ya on't get out of here right now, i may be forced to get annoyed...
All: Kay man, i'm off....*fades away*
KOV: Now, to bring an end to this crushed mess of plagarism and depression, i bid you, adieu....*runs away*
*********************************************************************** Man, if i don't end up getting this head off'f me, i might have to add angst to this description. Sorry, i promise i'll get back to what semblance of plot there is in chapter 9, if i get some reviews on this chapter *hint hint*. Also, jsut for fun, have a see if you can find the concealed Rory Gallagher and Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy connections in this chapter.
Knight-Of-Valhala.
Disclaimer: Can't be bothered, make one up yahselves. oh, if i must.....I do not own any of the stuff that i may happen to mention in this foolish and pointless piece of writing, slap me if i do, Kay?
Right, i've thought up an excuse for my lousy update rates, erm, actually, i haven't. *throws self on readers mercy* Forgive me!!!
*********************************************************************** Chapter 8: the Concert, Mayhap, If I Get Round To It
DAY: *notices disclaimer* Shoudn't have said that....*SLAP* *SLAP*
KOV: Ow man, i thought i destroyed that thing last chapter....
DAY: Noe, but i've improved it now! KOV-Slapping device mark 2! *SLAP*
KOV: Gragh! *makes device explode with an impromptu Doomsday spell*
Vivi Ornitier (ya know, the little dude from ff9): Oi man, my spell!
KOV: *sets vivi's coat on fire* Sod off out my universe, shorty..
Quistis: *briefly bouncing off the walls of sanity* Now, is it really your universe, or are you just creating some kinda psychomatic reaction to the prevalent sense of inferiority and manic depression inside yah're head?
KOV: *sigh* somebody take that bloody freudian rubbish book out of her hands, please........... ... ... ... ... before i burn it out....
Quistis: Ok, beep, beep, whheeeeeeee! *collapses into a space much, much smaller than an atom*
Zell: Nooooo! Quisty!!! *sob*
Seifer: Can it wuss...
Zell: ANGSTY-SPURNED-LOVER-SLAP!!!!! *SLAP*
Seifer gets lifted off the floor and dumped through a nearby window by the new ultimate Zell limit break, angsty-spurned-lover-slap.
(AN: God, how my mind works...)
Squall: Such is true man.....
KOV: Hey, yah're not supposed to be able to read dat!
Squall: So, they're there, man, in big shiny purple letters 10 feet high, sort of stretched, and flashing on and off, man...
KOV; *turning away, whispering* Yep, he's wasted....soembody find out if he's growing it, kay?.....and get me some.....
DAY: naughty naughty....
Irvine: Gragh!! there he goes again! always with the tacky space-filling rubbish that he puts in to make himself sound more interseting and less geeky than he actually is!! come on, he wears plaid shirts! and glasses! GEEK!
Quistis: *pulling out whip and giving it an experimental crack* Problem wid people who where glasses, foo'? *brief shudders from all ofn the pervs in the audience at quistis standing there with a whip*
Irvine: Ahhh.. no, be nice.....*tish* arrgh!
DAY: Hey man, come to think of it, where was the revival bit in between where ya just mentioned quisty and the last time ya destroyed her?
KOV: Care do i not.....babylon cna stick my fic...up it's *SLAP*
Selphie: ohnohe'sfoundsquallsillegalherbage!
KOV: Damn straight i have....
DAY: Whoa, in this wasterd state he can actually understand what selph8ie says! man, we need to get more of this stuff, and the mysteries of teh sugar high speech can be revealed!
Zell: Not a chance, we need his bass....*gives KOV 6 cans of mountain dew and a coffee machine with infinite credit facility* He won't be able to resist....watch....the species KOVus Lazius Maddus Nutterus in it's natural environment, what a great oppurtunity this is, truly a great oppurtunity to witness this rare beast in it's natural environment....utterly fantastic....truly rare footage this....oh, and whats happening now?...Ah, yes, hye's coming this way...what a great beast....AAh, what's he doing?
KOV: Stop bloody pretending yah're bill oddie man, it don't suit, really....
Zell: Wahhhhh! *runs away lest he feels the wrath of the pink bunnies*
KOV: And talking of wah, let us continue with the Hendrix, ultimate wahlord himself.
*SLAP*
KOV: *fiddling with jaw* Mark 3?
Quisty: Better believe it, and it's mine!! all mine!!
Irvine: Medication is called for...
Edward: Durn Right.....*gnaws asparagus*
Quisty: See, it just talked again!! *picks up edward by bow tie* Hey you, say summat, overgrown gerbil!
Edward: Stuff you, ya sadistic slapper! *gnaws asparagus*
Quisty: See!! See!!! it does talk!!!! I'm gonna knock your bleedin block off, ya little freak!!!!!
DAY: Exclaimation mark alert! Penalisation for use of five exclaimation marks is quick and messy death! *uses author magic to turn quistis into a minature model of sperm whale and a bowl of petunias* Right, now, back to the plot....
KOV: See, even my madness permeates those around me after a while, permenant psycopathy is the order of teh day around here it seems...as you can see *materialises blackboard with complex diagrams and equations on it and a pointer* with this handy equation, P.L.O.T..AND..HUMOUR..FIC..=..INCOMPATIBLE, and with this handy equation, K.O.V..=..LACK..OF..CAFFIENE..AND..SUGAR..=..MANIC..DEPRESSION, as you can see. *collapses, puts head on knees, and starts crying*
Squall: Right dudes, let moi take over from here. As you can see, KOV has just collapsed crying due to a lck of caffiene and a constant debasement of faith by his contempories as to his political beliefs...
All: Whut?
Squall: Hey all, as KOV ain't compos, i'll allow ya in here, but only until he regains consciousness. And in answer to your question, he gave me a 3 hour lecture this morning about the virtues of socialim in today's society.
Everyone: Poor bugger.....
kOV: Durn straight...laughing to stop from crying man.... and all, if ya on't get out of here right now, i may be forced to get annoyed...
All: Kay man, i'm off....*fades away*
KOV: Now, to bring an end to this crushed mess of plagarism and depression, i bid you, adieu....*runs away*
*********************************************************************** Man, if i don't end up getting this head off'f me, i might have to add angst to this description. Sorry, i promise i'll get back to what semblance of plot there is in chapter 9, if i get some reviews on this chapter *hint hint*. Also, jsut for fun, have a see if you can find the concealed Rory Gallagher and Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy connections in this chapter.
Knight-Of-Valhala.