Chapter 7: Half empty

The next few days were noticeably more pleasant. In the morning Sesshoumaru would retrieve Kagome and watch over her and Rin.

Kagome was happier, cheerful in spite of every restriction Sesshoumaru imposed on her. Each day he shortened her time outside, hauling her back to her room if he detected the slightest weariness from her. He would not allow her to move about as much as she wished, and made a point of glaring at her if he thought she was extending herself.

She could not deny that she felt tired all the time now. She was dressed warmly in response to the cooling weather, but often found herself shivering in spite of it. Often spells of dizziness would come over her, but she did her best to hide them from Sesshoumaru until they passed. Her body was fighting a losing battle. She had bled every night for over half a month now, and she simply could not repair herself fast enough to keep up. Every clear night, she would watch the waning moon, waiting eagerly for it to disappear so this could all end.

He watched her like a hawk. He didn't have to tell her to save her strength anymore. Kagome mostly just sat with Rin, talking and smiling as if she could ignore the world around her. She was deteriorating more rapidly now, as much as she tried to hide it from him to lengthen her time outside. He shouldn't have brought her out in this wind where she might be found, but was reluctant to take the only pleasure she had away from her.

In increasing frequency, he was forced to destroy demons that were hunting her. The traces of her scent and magic were impossible to hide completely, and he would leave Kagome and Rin under the protection of Jaken and Ah-Un while he killed the hunters before they could get close. He would return minuets later, resuming his careful watch. Every day he let her outside, it grew increasingly more dangerous.

Though he had seen the storm clouds of disaster building, they were still caught in the downpour.

It was the twenty-second day of the cycle, and the coming winter was in the air. Kagome and Rin were nestled behind an outcropping, trying to stay away from the wind. Kagome was slightly surprised he had even let her out today, but did not question her good luck. She played simple games with Rin, glad for the company.

As if she were suddenly plunged into icy water, a wave of jaki watched over her. She froze in its icy grip, the air rushing from her lungs as her vision faded to black. The darkness reached out like cold clawed fingers, running uninvited down her skin and hair. She could feel someone watching her in the dark, their black intentions thick in her mind. She struggled to throw off the feeling and escape whatever was holding her. She shook her head forcefully, frightened by the intensity of the malignant emotions watching over her.

Then, as suddenly as it arrived, the sensation was gone and she opened her eyes to the daylight again. She gasped in relief, feeling no traces now of whatever had just happened. It had only lasted a few seconds, it might even have been her imagination.

The wind changed direction, whipping her hair and clothes up around her. She shivered, suddenly unbearably cold. The moment she had made this self admission, the thousands of aches and pains demanded to be recognized. A groan passed her lips involuntarily. She felt faint, suddenly wanting nothing more than a warm bed.

"Kagome nee-san? Are you ok?" Rin put a warm hand on Kagome's back.

Kagome recovered slightly, giving Rin a reassuring smile. "I'm fine." She looked up, ready to admit defeat and ask Sesshoumaru to take her back. He was nowhere in sight.

Frowning, she felt outwardly for his presence. It was a new knack that she was still trying to get used to. He was on the edge of her senses, easily recognizable. With him was another demon. Powerful, though it was nowhere near as strong as Sesshoumaru. Both of their youki flared angrily. They were... fighting? She was startled to realize that there were more unaccounted for demons nearby and growing closer.

"Jaken!"

The little toad looked up at her grouchily. "What?"

"Do you feel them?"

"Feel what?"

"The youkai... they're coming closer."

He frowned. He could not sense them, but he would not admit that his senses were duller than a human's. "Sesshoumaru-sama probably already knows."

She sighed tiredly, trying to send her powers further.

She started when two youkai that had been on the periphery of her range suddenly put on a burst of speed. She came to her feet so fast that her head spun and she almost fell. By the time she had recovered enough to call out to Jaken, they were almost upon them.

A blood-red creature crashed out from the woods, slamming a gigantic fist down at Jaken and Ah-Un.

The bull-like youkai was about three times as large as Ah-Un, covered with thick-corded muscle. He swatted Jaken away like a bug before he could even use his staff. A bolt from one of the dragon's heads caught it, but it didn't even seem to feel it. It's partner emerged behind it, both of them slamming into Ah-Un at the same time. Ah-Un hit the rock face hard, bones audibly snapping as they hit the creature until it lay still.

In just seconds both turned to Kagome and Rin. Kagome crowded Rin behind her. They were cornered, the steep rock wall behind them and the outcropping on their side.

As two sets of burning red eyes and cruel jaws turned to face them, Kagome realized that even if she had a route, she had no strength to run.

They just looked at her for a moment, their eyes glinting hungrily. Their mouths foamed as they growled menacingly. At least they didn't seem to care about Rin.

Kagome didn't have time to scream before the larger lunged forward and grabbed her. Its huge hand clamped around her body, forcing the air from her lungs and yanking her off the ground. She whimpered breathlessly, her chained hands grasping feebly at the huge fingers that held her.

The grip tightened painfully every time she tried to move. She froze as she was brought closer to the demon's face. She flinched when the hot rancid breath hit her, helpless to move. It snorted loudly.

'It's... smelling me?' she thought with closed eyes. Something hot and wet ran up her arm and face. She shuddered. The claws of its other hand pinched into her shoulders, painfully pinning her still.

She panicked, struggling as much as she could. She dug her fingernails into his hand, trying to force her holy power into it. Suddenly the pain exploded in her mind, but still her power refused to surface. The beast squeezed harder with a low growl.

She couldn't breath at all, completely blinded by the pain. She put all of her strength into purifying it, but her powers once again could not emerge. Instead, it threw her further into her pain. She couldn't hear the noises it made anymore, nor see anything beyond the bright flashes that spiked her vision. She went limp, her breath and her strength gone.

Sesshoumaru burst from the forest in a blur of white light. He took in the situation in an eye-blink--Rin trapped fearfully against the rocks, Kagome trapped between two powerful youkai, one of was crushing her in his grasp. Both were staring at the unresponsive girl like she was some rare delicacy. Stupid beasts--they did not even understand why they were so blinded by the need to have her. They did not understand what they had in their hands; they would so stupidly consume a source of such great power.

Toukijin, still bloody from his last fight, was thrust into the youkai's back. The beast reared, roaring its pain to the sky. Kagome was thrown away from his grip, her body impacting against the rock face and tumbling to the ground.

He did not waste a moment to look at her. His eyes flashed angrily as Toukijin's kenatsu diced both of her attackers to pieces. They didn't even have time to realize what had hit them. Sesshoumaru sheathed his sword and spread a heavy mist of green-glowing toxins to destroy the carcases.

His heart twisting uncomfortably, he rushed to Kagome's side. She was lying still where she had landed. Her clothes were torn, but he could not see any obvious major injuries.

Gently, he laid a hand on her still shoulder, listening for signs of life. "Kagome?"

He let out a breath when she stirred. She gave a low moan of pain, her pale face drawing into a wince. "Sesshoumaru...?"

"Yes." He gently nudged her onto her back as Rin came to stand at her side. He refrained from asking if she was alright. Instead, he carefully looked her over for injuries. There were two claw marks on her shoulders; the wounds were not large, but were surrounded by growing bruises. The smell of the beast was all over her.

Kagome's eyes were closed and she flinched at every movement. "It hurts to breathe," she gasped.

Sesshoumaru gave Rin a quick glance. "Rin, go take care of Jaken and Ah-Un." His hands fell to Kagome's ribs.

Immediately, a sharp cry of pain tore from her lips. She looked up at him with a pleading expression.

"They're bruised at least," he said simply. "I can't tell if they're broken."

"I don't think they're broken," she said painfully. As soon as she said it, she started coughing. Once she started, she could not stop the painful throes. Her whole body tossed, her bruised back hitting the ground repeatedly no matter how she tried to stop it. Her lungs and throat burned, her chest ached as though each cough threatened to break her in half.

She felt Sesshoumaru's hand slide under her neck, supporting her head and torso. He leaned her against him, letting his body absorb some of the shock of her coughs. She couldn't ever remember being in so much pain, and the coughing just wouldn't stop. Tears squeezed from her tightly-shut eyes as she preyed for something to stop her agony.

Gradually, her cough attack slowed until she was only taking gasping breaths. Panicked, she tried to slow her down her breathing, every large intake of breath sent shooting pains through her body. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, startled to see a smear of red from her lips. She hoped Sesshoumaru had not noticed it and quickly hid her hand.

She slowly gained control, weeping silently in Sesshoumaru's lap. Now that she had calmed, she registered his hand stroking her hair, as if he was trying to comfort her.

"I'm sorry," he said softly. "You should not have been hurt."

Kagome was too tired to do much other than to nod weakly. "Take me back?" She whispered.

Getting her back up the slope would not be comfortable no matter what he did. She was in no condition to walk or ride, and he had only one arm to carry her. Previously, he had held her around the chest, but he feared doing so now would cause her too much pain and may bring on another coughing fit.

He had been careless. He had sensed the growing danger and still had allowed her out. Then he had failed to recognize the possibility that some of the stronger demons might be smart enough to cooperate to get past her protection. Now she was paying the price.

"You must stand for a moment," he said. He helped her rise by lifting her by her arm, which was less injured than the rest of her. Kagome swayed for a moment, but stayed on her feet. She kept both hands on him for support.

He bowed forward and lowered his head. "Put your arms around my neck."

She stood dazed for a moment before she lifted her chain over his head and weakly clasped her hands behind him.

He lifted her under her thighs as he straightened, allowing her body to come to rest against his. She hissed in pain as she was jostled, but didn't make another sound. She curled into him as much as she could.

Sesshoumaru turned his attention to his companions. Both Jaken and Ah-Un had found their feet and looked none the worse for wear.

"Jaken, take Rin further down into the valley. Wait for me there. Do not fail me again."

Sesshoumaru was obviously very, very angry. Jaken quickly jumped to do what he was told.

Kagome was far to busy trying to keep her chest from hurting to notice how completely enraged Sesshoumaru was. He kept his grip on her as firm and gentle as he could, no matter his foul mood. His steps were quick and smooth as he carried her back.

"Sesshoumaru... I tried." In her over-stressed mind, it seemed important that she explain this to him. "I tried... to purify it... but I failed."

"Don't talk if it hurts you," he said shortly. She fell silent, concentrating on breathing slowly.

After a long quiet, she heard Sesshoumaru's voice rumble through his chest as she was pressed against him. "Your chains seal your holy powers. That is why you could not fight back."

"Oh good," she sighed. "I thought it was just me. Why did they only want me and not Rin?"

"Because you are not like other humans," he said honestly.

"Am too," she answered reflexively. She seemed so weary, he imagined she wasn't paying much attention to the conversation and just being obstinate out of habit.

He would have been amused if he wasn't still so angry. If she had not been bound, she may have been able to stop the demons by herself. Not only had he allowed her to be attacked, he had taken her only form of defense.

Damn it, why had he even allowed her out here in the first place? Just because this one human woman looked at him sadly he gave in and put his purpose in jeopardy. What concern of his was it if she was unhappy or not? What did it matter if the girl suffered, so long as she was still suitable for his remedy. Soon he would have what he wanted and he could get rid of her as he chose. Now was not the time for stupid mistakes, and if she died on him he would be back to the beginning.

They were still days from completion, and Kagome was very weak, and now injured as well. He had found that as time wore on, he required less of her blood to fill his need as her power had grown. Now they were caught in a dangerous balancing act, trying to keep Kagome intact until the end of the month while Sesshoumaru continued to rob her of more of her healing resources every night.

He returned her to her room, laying her gently onto her bed and carefully covering her. "Stay here and do not move," he ordered in no uncertain terms.

Kagome heard him leave and was suddenly frightened to be left alone. She was so tired and only wanted the pain to fade so she could sleep. She knew Sesshoumaru would not allow her outside again, but she didn't much care at the moment.

She was already half asleep when Sesshoumaru returned. He pulled her blankets down and looked at her for a moment. "Sit up."

Kagome felt his hand guide her up on her shoulder, holding her until he was certain she'd stay still.

Sesshoumaru took her hand and unlocked her manacle. When he went to remove the other, he was surprised when it simply fell away at his touch. Lifting it to his eyes, he noticed hair-like fractures all around the surface of the metal, one large crack completely breaking it. The other was much the same. Apparently Kagome's efforts had simply been too much for the metal to take.

Nothing was going right, he thought as he tossed her chains aside.

Nevertheless, when he looked at Kagome, his spirit settled, ever so slightly. She needed sleep badly, but she needed treatment more. The more tranquil side of him that had been growing these past weeks began to make its presence felt.

He slipped his hand under Kagome's collar, feeling her soft skin underneath. He gradually began to slide the kimono down past her shoulder.

Kagome came out of her daze slightly, her eyes widening as both of her hands latched around his wrist. "No!" The quick exclamation caused her a wince of pain.

He kept his hand still, trying not to agitate her injuries. "Kagome, I am only going to take care of your injuries."

"No..." she repeated softly, her grip loosening. "I'm fine. What do you care, anyway?"

Sesshoumaru chose to ignore her question. "Now is not the time to be concerned with your modesty. If you do not willingly allow me to do this, it will be worse for you."

Kagome released his hand and looked down at her lap. Sesshoumaru pushed the silk past her shoulder as Kagome pulled her arms from the sleeves. Her garment fell into a white puddle around her waist.

She gasped painfully at the sight of herself. She couldn't see what her bra covered, but everything else looked bad. Her chest and abdomen were a mosaic of bruises. She was more black and blue than anything else, and if she was already this bad, she hated to imagine what her skin would look like in the morning.

"You have to help," Sesshoumaru told her. He pressed the end of a long bandage against her ribs. "Hold this." She moved her hand to where he indicated. "Breath out slightly and hold it if you can."

Sesshoumaru passed the cloth around her a few times until it was tight enough for her to let go. She moved her hands to rest on his shoulders as she watched his hand disappear behind her, release the bandage, and dart around to the other side of her body to catch it again without losing any of the tension. It was an awkward task with one hand, but he completed it gracefully. She found herself mesmerized by his movements.

"It's kind of tight," she murmured.

"It's supposed to be. It will keep your ribs from moving more than they must."

She blinked up at him. "You've done this before?"

He sniffed indignantly. "It's just common sense."

She smiled slightly, hidden by her hair. Sesshoumaru tucked away the end of the bandage, looking up at her tiredly bowed head.

Two fingers slipped underneath her chin, lifting her face to him. She met his gaze unflinchingly, her dark eyes stormy. She smiled at him sadly... almost forgivingly. He tilted her head to each side, looking at her shoulders.

"Your wounds did not bleed much," he observed softly.

"Good, more for you," she said automatically. He froze at her barb, even though he had been thinking along similar lines. "Sorry..." she mumbled.

He finished cleaning her shoulders in silence. The sun was setting, the sky overcast and dark. Eventually he lit the lamp, more for her benefit than his.

"How long will this take to heal?" he asked.

She sighed slightly. "Too long. It will probably weeks or months until I'm back to normal. I've heard bruised ribs are bad."

'Months?' She would be in pain for so long?

Kagome pouted at his silence. "So I'm human. There's nothing I can do about it. Maybe I'm weaker than you, but I do the best I can. You probably wouldn't even care if I died, as long as your experiment was ok." She defiantly met his eyes.

He glared back at her. "Do you not remember what I told you when I first brought you here?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I said that if you cooperated..."

"You wouldn't kill me."

He held her chin so that she couldn't turn away from him. "... that you would live."

Kagome stared up at him silently, at a momentary loss. Everything else may have changed, but he had not touched the luminance in her eyes. "In the end... what's the difference?"

It was Sesshoumaru's turn to hesitate. Fortunately, Kagome merely sighed and leaned in against him to his surprise.

"It's ok, Sesshoumaru. I understand. Thank you for taking care of my ribs, it feels much better now." She cuddled against his left side, trying to find the least painful position. She wasn't really bothered by his missing arm. She merely lifted her arm to him, waiting until he took it.

"Just remember," she said. "I told you I wanted to help and I meant it. I believe this will work, and we'll both see the end of this."

He was awestruck. "Why?"

Her deep eyes stared back at him. "For you. For Inuyasha. For me." She looked up at the walls. "Our twenty-second night... please be quick, Sesshoumaru."

He cut her swiftly, with more care than he ever had before. He was determined to get this over with quickly. Even so, she fell asleep against him before he finished. He let her rest against him for a while, his mind in a million places at once. Eventually, he laid her back down. She whimpered sweetly when her back touched her bed. He knelt beside her, stroking her hair to lie on her pillow like a fan around her face.

He leaned close to her mouth, listening to her breathe. It was stronger than before, but still rasped slightly as if there was something that wasn't right.

"Sesshoumaru?"

He almost jumped at the sound of her whisper-soft voice. "You should be asleep."

"Did you mean what you said earlier?"

"Do you doubt this Sesshoumaru's word?"

She smiled softly, drifting into a heavy sleep.

He already had enough on his mind. Now he had to deal with her damn smile. He saw it long after he had gone.

Sesshoumaru did not feel the chill of the midnight winds. The weather was changing; perhaps the dark skies would finally bring some much-needed rain.

He had stayed with Kagome long after she had fallen asleep. She had been so still and quiet. So unlike herself. Usually she curled up on her side and made little noises and faces in her sleep. He was slightly startled that he even knew how she usually slept. He had gazed at her for a long while, his hand resting lightly on her abdomen as he monitored her breathing. She was so soft a thing, beautiful and pure to a treacherous extreme. Her skin was almost deathly pale, more so with her hair glistening around her like wet ink. So subtly powerful. So dangerously fragile.

The wind howled eerily through the trees, much in keeping with his mood. Only creatures who had no fear of dark and cold were out on this night, leaving Sesshoumaru alone with the trees.

"Bokusenou," he hailed in a steady voice.

The familiar face melted out of the ancient bark, revealing eyes shining with something that might have been humor or might have been sadness.

"Good evening, Sesshoumaru. It is not yet the end of the month, but I am not surprised to see you."

Sesshoumaru pressed his lips together in irritation. The old tree saw too damn much.

The face in the tree cast an appraising gaze over Sesshoumaru's ivory form. "Things are going well for you, as I see. Her magic is working within you, with far more energy than even I would have suspected from her. You feel it too?"

Sesshoumaru stood stonily still. "I have. It weaves through my left side and is building in strength, especially where it will heal. It is... a strange sensation. But I did not wish to speak of that."

"What is your problem, then, Inu-no-Taisho? In a few days you will have everything you have worked for."

Sesshoumaru was inexplicably unnerved by Bokusenou's words. "Do you know of any other ways to regenerate a wound such as mine? You kept this from me; it is probable that you know of other ways. Tell me."

Bokusenou half-closed his eyes tiredly. "Yes, I did not tell you about the blood of a healer. But I have guided you as best I could since you have discovered it. There is no other way than this, Sesshoumaru."

Sesshoumaru silently contemplated his words.

"Yet why do you search for such a path? You already have found your solution... or perhaps you are finding it more difficult than you originally believed."

Sesshoumaru ignored his words, looking moodily past him. "You made a warning when I started. What did you mean?"

Bokusenou sighed. "If you passed another dying on the roadside, what would you do, Sesshoumaru?"

"It is none of my concern," he answered swiftly. "What has that to do with anything?"

"And who or what is your concern, then?"

"None are worthy of my concern unless it pleases me to give it."

"It is the very thing that has trapped you that makes you blind, Inu-no-Taisho."

Sesshoumaru tensed and put his hand on Toukijin's hilt. "Explain your insult."

"Your pride. Your apathy. You assumed that your strength and power would justify your actions. You believed that you would not care about the miko you imprisoned. You have never chosen another over yourself, and you refuse to let go for the sake of your ego."

Sesshoumaru bared his fangs, wanting to chop the demon into splinters for his insolence. "How dare you," he answered in a dangerously low tone.

"Why are you angry, Sesshoumaru? I have only told you the truth, and you know it."

For some reason, every word Bokusenou said made him angrier.

"We both know, even if you refuse to admit it, the real reason that you're here tonight. The miko is dying."

"No!" he immediately denied.

"Words do not change the fact. The girl's life is quickly running out. You are here because you don't want her to die. Because you care for her."

"Do not speak of things you do not understand," Sesshoumaru snapped. He calmed, trying not to let his uncertainty surface in his mind or words. "The remedy will continue, and she only must last six more nights. I will come here in one week, whole. Compared to restoring this Sesshoumaru, her pain is an acceptable price."

Bokusenou frowned at him before sinking back into obscurity un-excused. "I hope you're lying, Inu-no-Taisho," his voice echoed. "For her sake and yours."

Sesshoumaru glared at the now silent withered bark. The howling wind and rushing trees screamed in his ears. The whole world seemed to mock him.





Wow, I've managed to update three weeks in a row. This story is finally starting to come a little easier. You guys have been really awesome, as always, at giving me feedback. Thanks a bunch. Your reviews keep me going.

There was a question about Kagome's time of the month. True, he does have her for a full month, but you can assume that her body is going through enough physical stress that it won't come up. At least for the convenience of this story.

Three chapters left. Mwa ha ha ha ha. And I mean that in a totally innocent way. (Shame you can't actually hear my maniacal laugh. I actually have a pretty good one when I'm in the mood.)

-Aiwendil



This chapter last modified: Tuesday, October 28, 2003