................................................
Title: WHITE ROSES
Book One
The Story of a Beast
Rated: PG+
Email: mariejwchan@yahoo.com
URL: www.clik.to/mariejwchan
Chapter One
It was a beautiful calm fall day at sea as I stood at the side, over looking the rippling waters. The air was clear, clean and crisp. We had been at sea for over two months and finally we were notified that in a matter of hours we would be able to see the land of Wistler, my cousin's kingdom.
My fingers gripped the cherry wood railing at the thought of land. I ached for land and I was deathly sick of all this water.
"My lady, you shall catch a cold out here in such a light dress," Mary, my tenant addressed me from behind. I didn't care if I caught a cold. I was sick of being down in the barracks; it was too musty down there.
Breathing in the salty air, I smiled and glanced at her, "Join me, Mary, for it is a beautiful day and we will soon be standing upon solid land."
"Aye, you're right but still, you'll catch-"
"Hush, Mary, you'll ruin the moment, and I am fine. It feels good," I let the sea air catch my loose blonde hair and lift it off my forehead.
I could feel Mary beside me relax slightly, "Alright, since you insist," then after a few moments she ventured, "It's been almost a year since you've seen your cousin. Are you excited?"
Turning to her, I smiled, "Of course, we are dear friends. Although it confuses me that he calls for me before the Christmas Banquette, for he would surely see me there in Almont," then musing to myself more than Mary, I added, "and it's so strange that he would want me to travel all the way to Wistler." It was my first time traveling on a ship and so far away from my father and two elder sisters Margaret and Peggy.
"My lady? If you don't mind me asking, how are you related to Prince Edward?" Mary looked at me curiously. I noted her soft brown curls, curious dark brown eyes and fair skin. She was just a little older than me, about eighteen I should think. She wore a simple dress that came down past her ankles and an apron tied up around just under chest, in an empire waist fashion. It made me wonder how Mary wasn't married yet. Both my sisters were married at seventeen, Peggy being the last one to get married off. Deciding I'd waited long enough before answering her question, I turned my eyes back to sea.
"Some hundred years ago our families were related. But the youngest brother of the royal Chaundler family refused to bring the kingdom into war so he separated from them and moved to Almont with his wife and children. He changed his name to Burrow. The Chaundler family disowned him and his family for his lack of loyalty. Then ten years ago King Chaundler, Edwards's father, ignored the disownment of the generations before him. You see, he was an only child and his parents died before he even got married, so he had no living family. So he came to Almont and insisted that we spend each Christmas together. That started when I was seven," I turned to her, "That's pretty much how father said it went."
"And so, that is how you met young Prince Edward?"
"Yes, he was so funny and carefree. He turned those boring banquettes into something to look forward to. We became as close as brother and sister. We would sneak off and play like we were gypsies or bandits; of course that was when we were younger. Now we sit in the corner, snatch deserts and insult the snobby elders behind their backs, making great fun of them. Luckily father hasn't found out yet. Ah, those are good memories."
"That's very special, milady," Mary sighed as she looked out towards the sea, "family is very important."
I watched Mary's expression. I realized I didn't know her very well. I barely knew anything of her family that worked at our manor. I made a promise to myself to ask her about her family when we were alone.
"Land ho! Milady! Land ho!"
Mary and I turned around to find land coming into view. I squealed and hugged Mary who stood stiff in my arms. I could tell she was not quite sure how to handle the intimate gesture but I didn't care!
"This is so exciting! Land! We're here!"
..........
After unpacking and finding my chambers far more extravagant than I expected, I left my room to discover what more wonders lay ahead.
Edward had not greeted me nor did the King for it seemed they were engaged in some important meeting, or at least that is what I was told. I found it very rude that after I had traveled that far that Edward had not greeted me at the dock but I was forgiving. I walked slowly down large halls decorated with great pillars standing stubbornly at each side. Spacious windows loomed on the left side of me, letting in the last of the fading sunlight. Along with that, the windows let in the sweet smells of the fall season.
Humming to myself, I turned the corner and to my surprise I saw the Prince himself walking in my direction with two Knights on either side of him. They walked slowly in deep conversation; I continued my walk just as slowly. At first he was so into his conversation with his knights that he didn't notice me standing there but one of the knights did, and nodded towards me. The Prince stopped in his footsteps upon seeing me, quickly dismissing his companions. They bowed and left towards a hallway veering off to the right with no further conversation.
I took in the sight of him as he approached me. He hadn't changed too much since last Christmas. He was still tall with broad shoulders and an oval shaped face. His hair, gold brown with sun kissed highlights and his eyes, a beautiful hazelnut color. He was very handsome at age eighteen and quite distinguished looking in his dark tights, loose cotton shirt and dark brown belt tied around his waist. He wore brown leather boots upon his feet and a black cape over his shoulders.
"Well, your highness, so pleased to finally see you," I teased as soon as he was in speaking distance. He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. He bowed formally, which made me frown, before he stood strait and examining me as I did him earlier.
He stepped forward and kissed my hand, "Welcome, milady," he lifted his eyes towards mine. I frowned. Just last winter he had openly confessed he hated formalities, especially with me when we were such good friends. What happened to a hug or a kiss on the cheek?
"I'm glad to be here. I was quite surprised when you sent father a letter asking me to come. Why not him? He would have gladly come to visit with your father." I turned so we were walking the same direction he had been previously.
"You get right to the point, don't you, dear Serena," he chuckled then sighed, "You are here because I asked you to come. It gets awfully lonely here and I was aching for your companionship. You don't mind, do you?" He turned to me for an answer. I smiled and shook my head. "Good," he continued, "Because, I would hate for you to be mad at me." There was some light heartedness in his voice. I still didn't quite understand why he asked for me. There was never a time when we visited other than at the yearly Christmas Celebration. So, I felt quite confused at his request. In a matter of months we would have seen each other.
"There is more to this than meets the eye, dear cousin," I glanced at him.
He stiffened.
I sighed, "I may be young and naïve, but I assure you, I'm not blind. What is truly the meaning of this visit? Are you bringing me here to scare off some princess who is pursuing you, or am I here to sweet talk a noble into giving you what you want?"
He looked wounded, "I assure you, Lady Burrow, I would do nothing of a sort. This is far more important."
I creased my forehead, "Why are you being so serious? You're never as serious as you are now. Is something bothering you? Are you ill?" I quickly put my hand to his forehead and found nothing wrong. That confused me even more. I had no idea why he was acting so royal on me and he seemed to be hiding something from me as well. I was later to find out what the meaning of all this nonsense was. but not yet for he waved it off as nothing and promised to reveal it to me at a later date, after I had gotten comfortable enough.
.....
Time passed quickly. Edward gave me a tour of the castle and later took me to tournaments. Soon after he took me horse back riding through the forests and through the many towns in Wistler. I was introduced to many nobles and found many pleasant people that I quickly came to admire.
However, the one thing that brought peace to my mind was the stables. The horses were the only creatures on earth that seemed to understand my heart, mind and soul. I felt I knew them just as well as they knew me. I spent time brushing, exercising, cleaning and talking to them while Prince Edward spent his time in royal meetings. I left my homesickness, loneliness and confusion behind as I spent time with those beautiful stallions.
.....
Several weeks later, in my room, I was preparing for the Harvest Festival. Mary just finished putting my hair up into two buns on either side of my head, letting small golden curls unfurl from it. I wore my undergarments and slippers. I just had to choose the right dress for the night. I glanced at the upper side of the mirror to find Mary already pulling out several of my finest dresses from the closet.
I looked back at my face, wondering how young I really looked. Margaret, my oldest sister, had once commented that I looked fourteen instead of sixteen. My face was heart shaped, and my skin creamy. My eyes were a sharp light blue and my lips were full with light pink paint on them. My golden blonde hair seemed to frame my face just as a koala bears ears would frame his own.
I scrunched my nose then began to make faces at my reflection, amusing myself. I giggled as I made a particularly funny expression. It made me look like Peggy, our middle sister, when she saw something nasty like mice or cockroaches.
"Lady! Please, I need you to get dressed, not make silly faces in the mirror!" Mary scolded.
She pulled up a dress from the bed for me to see. I looked at it through the mirror and nodded. She smiled, nodded herself then came towards me. The dress was made of pure silk and had way too many layers for my taste but father bought it for me as a birthday gift last year.
Standing up, I turned around to find Mary situating the light blue dress on the floor so I could step into it. Once she was ready, I stepped in and she pulled it up my body and helped me slip my arms through the puffy sleeves. It was an empire waist, which fit the style now days. It puffed out somewhat around the rest of my body, down to my shoes. The sleeves had small slits down the sides revealing white silk underneath. The sleeves came off my shoulders, exposing my creamy neck and shoulders. Mary tightened up the back, making it hard for me to breath.
"You know, Mary, we go through a lot of pain to please a man's eye," I commented, "I would be just fine in fathers brown tights and his loose cotton shirt than to wear this thing."
"Lady! Please, I will hear no more of that talk! It is unfit for a Lady to take a man's position."
"I never said 'take the position'; I said 'wear it'," I smiled, amused with myself.
"There is no difference!" She scowled as she faced me. As she took in my appearance a smile formed on her face, "Now, that is how a lady should look."
She turned me around to face the mirror. In the reflection I saw a lady but I also saw something I didn't like there. I looked like all the other ladies at court. I didn't look like me. But I didn't mention any of this to Mary for I knew she would have scolded me for thinking such thoughts.
........
The Harvest Banquette consisted of the King, Queen, Prince and all the nobles of the Kingdom. I walked up to the Prince and curtsied, as I should, then I stood next to him. I quickly pinched his arm in an inconspicuous way. He started then glared at me.
"What was that for?"
I smiled falsely and murmured through my teeth, "You never said I had to sit up here with you." For that is where I was standing before a seat next to the prince on a raised platform.
He chuckled, "Do not worry. They will think nothing of it after tonight."
"What is that supposed to mean?" I felt trapped up here with nobles of my own status looking at me strangely, as if I was stepping beyond my bounds. Which, I was certain, I was. I had no right to be sitting up at the large table with the Prince while the other nobles sat at the lower tables off this stupid platform.
"I'll discuss it with you after we start the meal," He explained.
Everyone seated after the King, Queen and Prince sat. Then the meal began with servants bringing in plates upon plates of delicious smelling food. The harvest in Wistler had reaped a good harvest that year. I ate and enjoyed my food while the King and Queen talked amongst themselves. Below and in front of me sat a woman in a red dress with tight curls on her head. She kept staring at me with a scowl on her face, clearly showing her displeasure. I tried to ignore her but it was quite hard when she would stare openly.
Edward was particularly quiet that evening but I didn't think much of it until out of the blue he commented, "You look absolutely beautiful tonight, milady."
I blinked and swallowed my food, "I thank you." I blushed at the compliment. I was not sure where that had come from. He never complimented me on my looks before. I happened to glance at the woman just then and found her twisting her mouth and glaring accusingly. What she thought, I'm not sure, but she obviously thought I was trying to gain undeserved attention from the prince.
He chuckled, "Don't look so shocked. I'm not blind, milady."
I brought my attention back to Edward and gave a weak smile, "Well, you look quite dashing tonight yourself, cousin." With that I went back to eating my food and trying to ignore the strange woman in red.
Several minutes later, Edward placed a cool hand on my arm, "May I speak to you?"
"Of course," I looked at him expectantly.
He looked uncomfortable, "Alone."
It was then I noticed that his hand slid from my arm to my hand, "Come with me."
I followed him out of my chair and off the platform, away from the guests and the woman in red, and out the door towards some stairs. If I had known what he was up to I would have stopped him long before he took my hand. We almost jogged up the stairs, around and around, until we reached the top of one of the towers.
He opened the wooden door and brought us outside. It was then he stopped and let go of my hand. I shivered from the sudden difference in temperature and watched Edward walk to the side of the tower and look over the Kingdom. Unsure of why we were up here, I approached him and looked over his father's kingdom myself. It was a beautiful sight up there as we looked over not only the kingdom but its boarder as it touched the sea. I could see the dark waters disappear along the rim.
"Edward? Why are we up here? Won't your parents wonder where you have gone?" I peered at his face, "And your subjects will wonder-"
He suddenly turned in my direction and grabbed my upper arms, "Serena, Serena." He said my name with such desperation and passion that I thought he was ill with fever.
"Edward, are you alright?" My concern for him grew when we looked away from me towards the sea. "Edward?" I tried to get his attention. I needed an answer! Should I get a physician? What was wrong with him?
He looked at me once again, looking right into my eyes, making me think of the sea just beyond us, "Marry me?"
I blinked. several times, "What?"
"Marry me, Serena Burrow, please?"
"Edward, what are you speaking of?" I tried to back up but he wouldn't allow it, "Edward, we are cousins, I only think of you as such."
"That can change, Serena, can't you see? We were made for each other. With both of us together we could make this Kingdom great! We would be even more powerful then our parents before us. We are alike in every way. I love you!"
I swallowed hard at the intensity in his eyes and in his words. I didn't know what to say. I'd never been proposed to before and I never expected it to come from my dear cousin Edward. He was like a brother. I could not love him as he wanted me to, I knew I couldn't. But as I looked into his eyes, I saw such a need there, such warmth. I knew it would pain him if I refused him. I bit my lip. Maybe I could.
"Say something, Sere," His eyes looked desperate and wild. The wind tossed his hair, making him look devilish and dark.
"I." I tried to remove the dryness in my throat, "I. Edward. I. I can't answer you. right now." finding my resolve, I looked him in the eye, "I don't know. You must understand. How can I give you an answer when I have thought nothing of it before?"
He hesitated. I could tell he was struggling with that answer. Finally he nodded and let out a breath of air. He gradually let me go and I slowly, ever so slowly backed away from him, afraid that I would provoke greater emotions from him. His arms hung limp at his sides as he looked down at the ground. He looked so crushed. I wanted to reach out to him and hug him as I did when we were children but I knew that would not be appropriate right now. I knew he would read more into a friendly compassionate hug. I had no idea that he loved me so. If I had known, I would have discouraged him from it. But now, it was too late.
Edward lifted his head, "Think about it then. and I pray you will think of nothing else, for I am not a patient man, Serena. You think you know me, but I am not always as you think I am and I tell you I am not patient."
I nodded, "I'll think about it. I promise."
"You asked me once, why I was acting as I was," he started as he looked down into my eyes, "It was because I loved you and feared you at the same time. I feared your rejection. You do not realize the power that you hold, my dear," He stepped towards me, his tall frame towering over me.
I did not see him as the little cousin I always knew just then, I saw him as something frightening and unfamiliar, a stranger to me. His fingers touched my chin and lifted my eyes to his, "Use that power well. or I promise you, there will be consequences," and in one swift motion his lips were crushing mine. I whimpered and tried to pull away but he held me tight. I was getting crushed. It felt wrong to be in such a position with my cousin. There was no spark, no passion, no. nothing. So why was he continuing this torture?
Eventually he released me, breathing roughly against my cheek, "I've been waiting to do that for far too long, my love."
My stomach churned and I felt sick. What had happened to my sweet caring Edward? He was gone and not present. I watched as he backed up, nodded, then turned, "I will leave you to your thoughts, milady."
Once I was alone, I collapsed to the ground, my skirts puffing up all around me. My lips trembled as I touched them with my hand. They were swollen and felt bruised. I felt tears stinging my eyes. I felt betrayed somehow. How can he say he loves me when.I felt no love from him? Why couldn't he be the old Edward that I knew and loved so well?
Why did he have to fall in love with me?
.........
I never went back to the banquette. Instead I went back to my room and cried. I lost something dear to me; something I thought would last forever but apparently it hasn't. I lost my only friend.
We stayed in Wistler for another week. Edward was constantly there, watching me for some kind of answer. The King and Queen seemed to be aware of what was happening but didn't comment on it.
One day the Queen came up to me and gave me some cryptic words of wisdom. She said, "My dear, love will be there when you need it. Don't give up hope. It's there waiting for you. it just might take some time." I didn't know what to think of that nor did I understand what she meant by it. Did she mean to say I would eventually fall in love with her son or did she mean I would find someone else? I gave her a sweet smile and pretended to know what she was talking about. Although something tells me she didn't believe me.
Eventually and thankfully it was time to board the ship once again and go back to Almont. I could feel the tension building and it seemed that Edward was not about to let me leave without an answer.
.........
"I have your peach dress laid out on the bed and the rest of them are all boxed up except for your traveling clothes. Did you want one of your society dresses out in case of a celebration on the ship or did you-"
Suddenly, she stopped.
I looked behind me and found Prince Edward standing there in his royal tunic. The family crest sparkled in gold on the right side of his chest tunic.
Already knowing what he wanted, I dismissed Mary who was all too ready to board the ship.
We stood staring at each other, neither of us saying a word as the workers around us loaded the cargo onto the ship.
"You have been so quiet these past days, Serena." His voice was soft with some sadness in it, "I have been patient and have not pressed you. Please, do you have an answer?"
I so badly wanted him to understand my heart but I knew he couldn't. I had contemplated the marriage he proposed a good deal and it only tied me in knots. For his sake, I wanted to marry him but for my own, I did not. What should I choose?
"Edward, I love you as a cousin, I've said that before. but maybe, as you said, I could learn to love you as you want." Hope flared in his eyes but I ignored that and continued, "But I am still uncertain. Please give me more time. I promise. I will give you my answer at the Christmas Banquette," I looked into his hazel eyes, "Does that satisfy you?"
Smiling bitterly, he nodded, "It will have to and remember. I do love you. Please come back to me my love and safe journey." He leaned in to kiss me but I could not go through that again. So I quickly evaded him and kissed him on the cheek.
"Thank you, cousin, and God Be with you," I turned and walked up the plank and boarded the ship.
...........
A month out at sea and I was still contemplating what to do about Edward. I stood leaning on the banister in a thick cloak as I watched the water crash up against the ship. The water was a clear ice blue and if I looked hard enough I could see the large fish swimming below us.
Should or shouldn't I marry Prince Edward? I almost wished I had a flower to pick the petals off of so I wouldn't have to choose myself. Father would want me to marry the Prince; it would be good for trade and business. And King Chaundler would like it because the Burrow family would once again be united with the Chaundler family. And I. how would I feel? I guess I could learn to love Edward. eventually. I would be able to travel the world, wear royal gowns; I would be able to ride any horse I wanted and eat anything I wanted. I would have thousands of servants and tenants at my call. There would be banquettes, small parties, social events to attend to. but none of those things would make me really happy. They would be nice but not necessary. I would be obligated to bare a son, one worthy of the crown. I bit my lip. It wasn't so much having children, it was having children with my cousin. My stomach rolled and I quickly shifted position and shook my head to get such nonsense out.
Besides, I wasn't ready to be a mother. I still had so much to do, don't I? Like what? Sew more? Make more quilts? Sighing loudly, I stood up and turned around to watch some of the crew men playing cards on the other side of the deck.
Suddenly, in a matter of seconds, a dark shadow fell upon the ship. I looked up just in time to see the dark clouds crackle with lightening. The wind picked up and soon it was all I could do but to keep my hair from tying around my neck. The men immediately got to work, tying things down and yelling out orders.
"Get her below! Get the lady below, men!"
I was suddenly grabbed by one of the men and shoved below deck. I stumbled and nearly fell on my face before grabbing onto the railing. The doors behind and above me shut loudly, the noise ringing in my ears. The ship began to toss this way and that, making me loose my balance.
"Mary!" I screamed. Where was she? "Mary!"
Mary came running or rather falling out of one of the rooms. She slammed into the opposite wall before turning on her side and catching sight of me.
"Oh! Milady! Your safe!" She quickly came forward, took my hand, and tugged me towards our room, "This way!"
The ship tilted, making us slam hard against the wall. It cracked beneath our weight. I groaned from the bruise that it handed me and got my footing stable once again. We made it to the room with Mary slamming the door behind us. I fell on one of the beds and let out a breath of air.
"Oh, this is dreadful!" Mary put her hands over her ears as thunder rumbled loudly above us. The whole ship groaned as it was tossed at odd angles. You could hear the boards trying to hold back the water, creaking loudly every few seconds.
I had heard stories of people drowning in a sea storm. Was that to happen to us? Was I to die already?
I felt something around my waist and looked down. Mary was tying some rope around me. I frowned, "What are you doing?"
She didn't answer but pointed to a large empty water barrel that was attached to the other end of the rope. My eyes widened. She actually expected the ship to sink! I watched as she finished tying me up, grabbed another rope tied to another empty barrel, and tied the rope around herself.
My eyes were wide and I couldn't help but repeat in my head 'I'm going to die' over and over until it didn't mean anything. A shot rose above the storm. One. no two. no more. of the screws were popping out of the side of the wall, letting in gallons of water. I screamed as cold water hit my back, drenching me. Mary quickly made her way to the bed and began to use a blanket to clog the wholes in the wall. I looked up at her and knew it was no use. The bedding wouldn't cover them all. I knew it! We were going to drown!
The ship creaked louder followed by snapping sounds, cracking sounds-
I grabbed Mary by the waist and pulled her away from the bed. She struggled in my arms but I refused to let her go.
"Mary, no, it's going to break!"
As soon as I finished my sentence the boards were gone and cold water broke through, crashing against us and burying us in the sea.
I closed my eyes tight and tried not to breathe in the water but I was quickly running out of air. Mary got separated from me and I had no idea where she was, I couldn't see anything. I struggled to find a top, anything! But it was no use. Darkness began to overtake my mind as my head began to feel heavier and heavier, as if it were being crushed from all sides.
"White roses." somewhere, I'm not sure where, I heard a soft familiar voice, "white roses, my dear Serena, white roses."
................................................
Title: WHITE ROSES
Book One
The Story of a Beast
Rated: PG+
Email: mariejwchan@yahoo.com
URL: www.clik.to/mariejwchan
Chapter One
It was a beautiful calm fall day at sea as I stood at the side, over looking the rippling waters. The air was clear, clean and crisp. We had been at sea for over two months and finally we were notified that in a matter of hours we would be able to see the land of Wistler, my cousin's kingdom.
My fingers gripped the cherry wood railing at the thought of land. I ached for land and I was deathly sick of all this water.
"My lady, you shall catch a cold out here in such a light dress," Mary, my tenant addressed me from behind. I didn't care if I caught a cold. I was sick of being down in the barracks; it was too musty down there.
Breathing in the salty air, I smiled and glanced at her, "Join me, Mary, for it is a beautiful day and we will soon be standing upon solid land."
"Aye, you're right but still, you'll catch-"
"Hush, Mary, you'll ruin the moment, and I am fine. It feels good," I let the sea air catch my loose blonde hair and lift it off my forehead.
I could feel Mary beside me relax slightly, "Alright, since you insist," then after a few moments she ventured, "It's been almost a year since you've seen your cousin. Are you excited?"
Turning to her, I smiled, "Of course, we are dear friends. Although it confuses me that he calls for me before the Christmas Banquette, for he would surely see me there in Almont," then musing to myself more than Mary, I added, "and it's so strange that he would want me to travel all the way to Wistler." It was my first time traveling on a ship and so far away from my father and two elder sisters Margaret and Peggy.
"My lady? If you don't mind me asking, how are you related to Prince Edward?" Mary looked at me curiously. I noted her soft brown curls, curious dark brown eyes and fair skin. She was just a little older than me, about eighteen I should think. She wore a simple dress that came down past her ankles and an apron tied up around just under chest, in an empire waist fashion. It made me wonder how Mary wasn't married yet. Both my sisters were married at seventeen, Peggy being the last one to get married off. Deciding I'd waited long enough before answering her question, I turned my eyes back to sea.
"Some hundred years ago our families were related. But the youngest brother of the royal Chaundler family refused to bring the kingdom into war so he separated from them and moved to Almont with his wife and children. He changed his name to Burrow. The Chaundler family disowned him and his family for his lack of loyalty. Then ten years ago King Chaundler, Edwards's father, ignored the disownment of the generations before him. You see, he was an only child and his parents died before he even got married, so he had no living family. So he came to Almont and insisted that we spend each Christmas together. That started when I was seven," I turned to her, "That's pretty much how father said it went."
"And so, that is how you met young Prince Edward?"
"Yes, he was so funny and carefree. He turned those boring banquettes into something to look forward to. We became as close as brother and sister. We would sneak off and play like we were gypsies or bandits; of course that was when we were younger. Now we sit in the corner, snatch deserts and insult the snobby elders behind their backs, making great fun of them. Luckily father hasn't found out yet. Ah, those are good memories."
"That's very special, milady," Mary sighed as she looked out towards the sea, "family is very important."
I watched Mary's expression. I realized I didn't know her very well. I barely knew anything of her family that worked at our manor. I made a promise to myself to ask her about her family when we were alone.
"Land ho! Milady! Land ho!"
Mary and I turned around to find land coming into view. I squealed and hugged Mary who stood stiff in my arms. I could tell she was not quite sure how to handle the intimate gesture but I didn't care!
"This is so exciting! Land! We're here!"
..........
After unpacking and finding my chambers far more extravagant than I expected, I left my room to discover what more wonders lay ahead.
Edward had not greeted me nor did the King for it seemed they were engaged in some important meeting, or at least that is what I was told. I found it very rude that after I had traveled that far that Edward had not greeted me at the dock but I was forgiving. I walked slowly down large halls decorated with great pillars standing stubbornly at each side. Spacious windows loomed on the left side of me, letting in the last of the fading sunlight. Along with that, the windows let in the sweet smells of the fall season.
Humming to myself, I turned the corner and to my surprise I saw the Prince himself walking in my direction with two Knights on either side of him. They walked slowly in deep conversation; I continued my walk just as slowly. At first he was so into his conversation with his knights that he didn't notice me standing there but one of the knights did, and nodded towards me. The Prince stopped in his footsteps upon seeing me, quickly dismissing his companions. They bowed and left towards a hallway veering off to the right with no further conversation.
I took in the sight of him as he approached me. He hadn't changed too much since last Christmas. He was still tall with broad shoulders and an oval shaped face. His hair, gold brown with sun kissed highlights and his eyes, a beautiful hazelnut color. He was very handsome at age eighteen and quite distinguished looking in his dark tights, loose cotton shirt and dark brown belt tied around his waist. He wore brown leather boots upon his feet and a black cape over his shoulders.
"Well, your highness, so pleased to finally see you," I teased as soon as he was in speaking distance. He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. He bowed formally, which made me frown, before he stood strait and examining me as I did him earlier.
He stepped forward and kissed my hand, "Welcome, milady," he lifted his eyes towards mine. I frowned. Just last winter he had openly confessed he hated formalities, especially with me when we were such good friends. What happened to a hug or a kiss on the cheek?
"I'm glad to be here. I was quite surprised when you sent father a letter asking me to come. Why not him? He would have gladly come to visit with your father." I turned so we were walking the same direction he had been previously.
"You get right to the point, don't you, dear Serena," he chuckled then sighed, "You are here because I asked you to come. It gets awfully lonely here and I was aching for your companionship. You don't mind, do you?" He turned to me for an answer. I smiled and shook my head. "Good," he continued, "Because, I would hate for you to be mad at me." There was some light heartedness in his voice. I still didn't quite understand why he asked for me. There was never a time when we visited other than at the yearly Christmas Celebration. So, I felt quite confused at his request. In a matter of months we would have seen each other.
"There is more to this than meets the eye, dear cousin," I glanced at him.
He stiffened.
I sighed, "I may be young and naïve, but I assure you, I'm not blind. What is truly the meaning of this visit? Are you bringing me here to scare off some princess who is pursuing you, or am I here to sweet talk a noble into giving you what you want?"
He looked wounded, "I assure you, Lady Burrow, I would do nothing of a sort. This is far more important."
I creased my forehead, "Why are you being so serious? You're never as serious as you are now. Is something bothering you? Are you ill?" I quickly put my hand to his forehead and found nothing wrong. That confused me even more. I had no idea why he was acting so royal on me and he seemed to be hiding something from me as well. I was later to find out what the meaning of all this nonsense was. but not yet for he waved it off as nothing and promised to reveal it to me at a later date, after I had gotten comfortable enough.
.....
Time passed quickly. Edward gave me a tour of the castle and later took me to tournaments. Soon after he took me horse back riding through the forests and through the many towns in Wistler. I was introduced to many nobles and found many pleasant people that I quickly came to admire.
However, the one thing that brought peace to my mind was the stables. The horses were the only creatures on earth that seemed to understand my heart, mind and soul. I felt I knew them just as well as they knew me. I spent time brushing, exercising, cleaning and talking to them while Prince Edward spent his time in royal meetings. I left my homesickness, loneliness and confusion behind as I spent time with those beautiful stallions.
.....
Several weeks later, in my room, I was preparing for the Harvest Festival. Mary just finished putting my hair up into two buns on either side of my head, letting small golden curls unfurl from it. I wore my undergarments and slippers. I just had to choose the right dress for the night. I glanced at the upper side of the mirror to find Mary already pulling out several of my finest dresses from the closet.
I looked back at my face, wondering how young I really looked. Margaret, my oldest sister, had once commented that I looked fourteen instead of sixteen. My face was heart shaped, and my skin creamy. My eyes were a sharp light blue and my lips were full with light pink paint on them. My golden blonde hair seemed to frame my face just as a koala bears ears would frame his own.
I scrunched my nose then began to make faces at my reflection, amusing myself. I giggled as I made a particularly funny expression. It made me look like Peggy, our middle sister, when she saw something nasty like mice or cockroaches.
"Lady! Please, I need you to get dressed, not make silly faces in the mirror!" Mary scolded.
She pulled up a dress from the bed for me to see. I looked at it through the mirror and nodded. She smiled, nodded herself then came towards me. The dress was made of pure silk and had way too many layers for my taste but father bought it for me as a birthday gift last year.
Standing up, I turned around to find Mary situating the light blue dress on the floor so I could step into it. Once she was ready, I stepped in and she pulled it up my body and helped me slip my arms through the puffy sleeves. It was an empire waist, which fit the style now days. It puffed out somewhat around the rest of my body, down to my shoes. The sleeves had small slits down the sides revealing white silk underneath. The sleeves came off my shoulders, exposing my creamy neck and shoulders. Mary tightened up the back, making it hard for me to breath.
"You know, Mary, we go through a lot of pain to please a man's eye," I commented, "I would be just fine in fathers brown tights and his loose cotton shirt than to wear this thing."
"Lady! Please, I will hear no more of that talk! It is unfit for a Lady to take a man's position."
"I never said 'take the position'; I said 'wear it'," I smiled, amused with myself.
"There is no difference!" She scowled as she faced me. As she took in my appearance a smile formed on her face, "Now, that is how a lady should look."
She turned me around to face the mirror. In the reflection I saw a lady but I also saw something I didn't like there. I looked like all the other ladies at court. I didn't look like me. But I didn't mention any of this to Mary for I knew she would have scolded me for thinking such thoughts.
........
The Harvest Banquette consisted of the King, Queen, Prince and all the nobles of the Kingdom. I walked up to the Prince and curtsied, as I should, then I stood next to him. I quickly pinched his arm in an inconspicuous way. He started then glared at me.
"What was that for?"
I smiled falsely and murmured through my teeth, "You never said I had to sit up here with you." For that is where I was standing before a seat next to the prince on a raised platform.
He chuckled, "Do not worry. They will think nothing of it after tonight."
"What is that supposed to mean?" I felt trapped up here with nobles of my own status looking at me strangely, as if I was stepping beyond my bounds. Which, I was certain, I was. I had no right to be sitting up at the large table with the Prince while the other nobles sat at the lower tables off this stupid platform.
"I'll discuss it with you after we start the meal," He explained.
Everyone seated after the King, Queen and Prince sat. Then the meal began with servants bringing in plates upon plates of delicious smelling food. The harvest in Wistler had reaped a good harvest that year. I ate and enjoyed my food while the King and Queen talked amongst themselves. Below and in front of me sat a woman in a red dress with tight curls on her head. She kept staring at me with a scowl on her face, clearly showing her displeasure. I tried to ignore her but it was quite hard when she would stare openly.
Edward was particularly quiet that evening but I didn't think much of it until out of the blue he commented, "You look absolutely beautiful tonight, milady."
I blinked and swallowed my food, "I thank you." I blushed at the compliment. I was not sure where that had come from. He never complimented me on my looks before. I happened to glance at the woman just then and found her twisting her mouth and glaring accusingly. What she thought, I'm not sure, but she obviously thought I was trying to gain undeserved attention from the prince.
He chuckled, "Don't look so shocked. I'm not blind, milady."
I brought my attention back to Edward and gave a weak smile, "Well, you look quite dashing tonight yourself, cousin." With that I went back to eating my food and trying to ignore the strange woman in red.
Several minutes later, Edward placed a cool hand on my arm, "May I speak to you?"
"Of course," I looked at him expectantly.
He looked uncomfortable, "Alone."
It was then I noticed that his hand slid from my arm to my hand, "Come with me."
I followed him out of my chair and off the platform, away from the guests and the woman in red, and out the door towards some stairs. If I had known what he was up to I would have stopped him long before he took my hand. We almost jogged up the stairs, around and around, until we reached the top of one of the towers.
He opened the wooden door and brought us outside. It was then he stopped and let go of my hand. I shivered from the sudden difference in temperature and watched Edward walk to the side of the tower and look over the Kingdom. Unsure of why we were up here, I approached him and looked over his father's kingdom myself. It was a beautiful sight up there as we looked over not only the kingdom but its boarder as it touched the sea. I could see the dark waters disappear along the rim.
"Edward? Why are we up here? Won't your parents wonder where you have gone?" I peered at his face, "And your subjects will wonder-"
He suddenly turned in my direction and grabbed my upper arms, "Serena, Serena." He said my name with such desperation and passion that I thought he was ill with fever.
"Edward, are you alright?" My concern for him grew when we looked away from me towards the sea. "Edward?" I tried to get his attention. I needed an answer! Should I get a physician? What was wrong with him?
He looked at me once again, looking right into my eyes, making me think of the sea just beyond us, "Marry me?"
I blinked. several times, "What?"
"Marry me, Serena Burrow, please?"
"Edward, what are you speaking of?" I tried to back up but he wouldn't allow it, "Edward, we are cousins, I only think of you as such."
"That can change, Serena, can't you see? We were made for each other. With both of us together we could make this Kingdom great! We would be even more powerful then our parents before us. We are alike in every way. I love you!"
I swallowed hard at the intensity in his eyes and in his words. I didn't know what to say. I'd never been proposed to before and I never expected it to come from my dear cousin Edward. He was like a brother. I could not love him as he wanted me to, I knew I couldn't. But as I looked into his eyes, I saw such a need there, such warmth. I knew it would pain him if I refused him. I bit my lip. Maybe I could.
"Say something, Sere," His eyes looked desperate and wild. The wind tossed his hair, making him look devilish and dark.
"I." I tried to remove the dryness in my throat, "I. Edward. I. I can't answer you. right now." finding my resolve, I looked him in the eye, "I don't know. You must understand. How can I give you an answer when I have thought nothing of it before?"
He hesitated. I could tell he was struggling with that answer. Finally he nodded and let out a breath of air. He gradually let me go and I slowly, ever so slowly backed away from him, afraid that I would provoke greater emotions from him. His arms hung limp at his sides as he looked down at the ground. He looked so crushed. I wanted to reach out to him and hug him as I did when we were children but I knew that would not be appropriate right now. I knew he would read more into a friendly compassionate hug. I had no idea that he loved me so. If I had known, I would have discouraged him from it. But now, it was too late.
Edward lifted his head, "Think about it then. and I pray you will think of nothing else, for I am not a patient man, Serena. You think you know me, but I am not always as you think I am and I tell you I am not patient."
I nodded, "I'll think about it. I promise."
"You asked me once, why I was acting as I was," he started as he looked down into my eyes, "It was because I loved you and feared you at the same time. I feared your rejection. You do not realize the power that you hold, my dear," He stepped towards me, his tall frame towering over me.
I did not see him as the little cousin I always knew just then, I saw him as something frightening and unfamiliar, a stranger to me. His fingers touched my chin and lifted my eyes to his, "Use that power well. or I promise you, there will be consequences," and in one swift motion his lips were crushing mine. I whimpered and tried to pull away but he held me tight. I was getting crushed. It felt wrong to be in such a position with my cousin. There was no spark, no passion, no. nothing. So why was he continuing this torture?
Eventually he released me, breathing roughly against my cheek, "I've been waiting to do that for far too long, my love."
My stomach churned and I felt sick. What had happened to my sweet caring Edward? He was gone and not present. I watched as he backed up, nodded, then turned, "I will leave you to your thoughts, milady."
Once I was alone, I collapsed to the ground, my skirts puffing up all around me. My lips trembled as I touched them with my hand. They were swollen and felt bruised. I felt tears stinging my eyes. I felt betrayed somehow. How can he say he loves me when.I felt no love from him? Why couldn't he be the old Edward that I knew and loved so well?
Why did he have to fall in love with me?
.........
I never went back to the banquette. Instead I went back to my room and cried. I lost something dear to me; something I thought would last forever but apparently it hasn't. I lost my only friend.
We stayed in Wistler for another week. Edward was constantly there, watching me for some kind of answer. The King and Queen seemed to be aware of what was happening but didn't comment on it.
One day the Queen came up to me and gave me some cryptic words of wisdom. She said, "My dear, love will be there when you need it. Don't give up hope. It's there waiting for you. it just might take some time." I didn't know what to think of that nor did I understand what she meant by it. Did she mean to say I would eventually fall in love with her son or did she mean I would find someone else? I gave her a sweet smile and pretended to know what she was talking about. Although something tells me she didn't believe me.
Eventually and thankfully it was time to board the ship once again and go back to Almont. I could feel the tension building and it seemed that Edward was not about to let me leave without an answer.
.........
"I have your peach dress laid out on the bed and the rest of them are all boxed up except for your traveling clothes. Did you want one of your society dresses out in case of a celebration on the ship or did you-"
Suddenly, she stopped.
I looked behind me and found Prince Edward standing there in his royal tunic. The family crest sparkled in gold on the right side of his chest tunic.
Already knowing what he wanted, I dismissed Mary who was all too ready to board the ship.
We stood staring at each other, neither of us saying a word as the workers around us loaded the cargo onto the ship.
"You have been so quiet these past days, Serena." His voice was soft with some sadness in it, "I have been patient and have not pressed you. Please, do you have an answer?"
I so badly wanted him to understand my heart but I knew he couldn't. I had contemplated the marriage he proposed a good deal and it only tied me in knots. For his sake, I wanted to marry him but for my own, I did not. What should I choose?
"Edward, I love you as a cousin, I've said that before. but maybe, as you said, I could learn to love you as you want." Hope flared in his eyes but I ignored that and continued, "But I am still uncertain. Please give me more time. I promise. I will give you my answer at the Christmas Banquette," I looked into his hazel eyes, "Does that satisfy you?"
Smiling bitterly, he nodded, "It will have to and remember. I do love you. Please come back to me my love and safe journey." He leaned in to kiss me but I could not go through that again. So I quickly evaded him and kissed him on the cheek.
"Thank you, cousin, and God Be with you," I turned and walked up the plank and boarded the ship.
...........
A month out at sea and I was still contemplating what to do about Edward. I stood leaning on the banister in a thick cloak as I watched the water crash up against the ship. The water was a clear ice blue and if I looked hard enough I could see the large fish swimming below us.
Should or shouldn't I marry Prince Edward? I almost wished I had a flower to pick the petals off of so I wouldn't have to choose myself. Father would want me to marry the Prince; it would be good for trade and business. And King Chaundler would like it because the Burrow family would once again be united with the Chaundler family. And I. how would I feel? I guess I could learn to love Edward. eventually. I would be able to travel the world, wear royal gowns; I would be able to ride any horse I wanted and eat anything I wanted. I would have thousands of servants and tenants at my call. There would be banquettes, small parties, social events to attend to. but none of those things would make me really happy. They would be nice but not necessary. I would be obligated to bare a son, one worthy of the crown. I bit my lip. It wasn't so much having children, it was having children with my cousin. My stomach rolled and I quickly shifted position and shook my head to get such nonsense out.
Besides, I wasn't ready to be a mother. I still had so much to do, don't I? Like what? Sew more? Make more quilts? Sighing loudly, I stood up and turned around to watch some of the crew men playing cards on the other side of the deck.
Suddenly, in a matter of seconds, a dark shadow fell upon the ship. I looked up just in time to see the dark clouds crackle with lightening. The wind picked up and soon it was all I could do but to keep my hair from tying around my neck. The men immediately got to work, tying things down and yelling out orders.
"Get her below! Get the lady below, men!"
I was suddenly grabbed by one of the men and shoved below deck. I stumbled and nearly fell on my face before grabbing onto the railing. The doors behind and above me shut loudly, the noise ringing in my ears. The ship began to toss this way and that, making me loose my balance.
"Mary!" I screamed. Where was she? "Mary!"
Mary came running or rather falling out of one of the rooms. She slammed into the opposite wall before turning on her side and catching sight of me.
"Oh! Milady! Your safe!" She quickly came forward, took my hand, and tugged me towards our room, "This way!"
The ship tilted, making us slam hard against the wall. It cracked beneath our weight. I groaned from the bruise that it handed me and got my footing stable once again. We made it to the room with Mary slamming the door behind us. I fell on one of the beds and let out a breath of air.
"Oh, this is dreadful!" Mary put her hands over her ears as thunder rumbled loudly above us. The whole ship groaned as it was tossed at odd angles. You could hear the boards trying to hold back the water, creaking loudly every few seconds.
I had heard stories of people drowning in a sea storm. Was that to happen to us? Was I to die already?
I felt something around my waist and looked down. Mary was tying some rope around me. I frowned, "What are you doing?"
She didn't answer but pointed to a large empty water barrel that was attached to the other end of the rope. My eyes widened. She actually expected the ship to sink! I watched as she finished tying me up, grabbed another rope tied to another empty barrel, and tied the rope around herself.
My eyes were wide and I couldn't help but repeat in my head 'I'm going to die' over and over until it didn't mean anything. A shot rose above the storm. One. no two. no more. of the screws were popping out of the side of the wall, letting in gallons of water. I screamed as cold water hit my back, drenching me. Mary quickly made her way to the bed and began to use a blanket to clog the wholes in the wall. I looked up at her and knew it was no use. The bedding wouldn't cover them all. I knew it! We were going to drown!
The ship creaked louder followed by snapping sounds, cracking sounds-
I grabbed Mary by the waist and pulled her away from the bed. She struggled in my arms but I refused to let her go.
"Mary, no, it's going to break!"
As soon as I finished my sentence the boards were gone and cold water broke through, crashing against us and burying us in the sea.
I closed my eyes tight and tried not to breathe in the water but I was quickly running out of air. Mary got separated from me and I had no idea where she was, I couldn't see anything. I struggled to find a top, anything! But it was no use. Darkness began to overtake my mind as my head began to feel heavier and heavier, as if it were being crushed from all sides.
"White roses." somewhere, I'm not sure where, I heard a soft familiar voice, "white roses, my dear Serena, white roses."
................................................