**** The Mysterious Cases of Detective Hisoka ****
[Disclaimers/Note: I do not own any of the HxH characters. OOCness can be expected in the story.]
** Case 1 : The Case of the Missing Boy (AsSaSsInAtEd rewritten) **
One morning, Killua went to Gon's room to wake him as he did every morning. The knock on the door wasn't answered, but Killua decided to go in anyway. Slowly and quietly, walking on the grey carpet he went. His attention was immediately turned to Gon's bed, where he'd expected to see Gon sleeping like an innocent child. But what did he see? Gon was nowhere on his bed, and traces of blood! Blood was all over his bed!
"Omigosh!!!! Gon's dead!!!!" yelled Killua in panic. He ran down the corridor into the kitchen, where Kurapica and Leorio prepared their breakfast.
Hearing Killua's yelling, Leorio quickly ran to Gon's room. They were all terrified and panicking because of the news.
"Gon!!!!" yelled Leorio, "what happened?!"
"I don't know! I came to wake him up and he was already dead....," explained Killua, his voice shaking.
Kurapica, who was still in the kitchen, noticed some black, powdery things in the oven. "Look, there's some ash in the oven!"
"What???? Gon's been roasted????" yelled Leorio. His head was spinning he didn't know what to think.
This called for some detective work. Kurapica flipped through their old, thick phone book and found the numbers of private detectives. The private investigator he called had the most 'interesting' and threatening message as his signature on the phone book. 'I'll Kill You If You Don't Hire Me.... Hehehe....'.
Kurapica thought about calling other private detectives, but it seemed that it was the only number they gave in the book. And the reason 'why' was written in bold letters at the bottom of the page: 'We're sorry we could find only one private detective, but it seems like 'someone' had scared off all the others. We apologize for the inconvenience.'
Half an hour later, the investigator arrived along with his assistant. How did they get there? We'll never know.
Both the investigator and his assistant seemed to have a weird taste in fashion. They both wore very unique clothes, and the most significant thing about him would be the chill the Hunters felt as he entered the room.
"Hello *heart*," it was Hisoka. And his assistant, of course, was Illumi.
Killua, Kurapica and Leorio were shocked. Their mouths seemed to have trouble closing, and their eyes were round as ping-pong balls.
"Hi-hi-hi-hi-hi-....," Leorio, who was the first one to speak up, was choking on his words.
"Stop that weird laughter," said Illumi, "it's not that funny."
"I'm not laughing!!!!" yelled Leorio, "I was going to say 'Hisoka!!!!'"
Ignoring Killua and Kurapica's surprised looks and Leorio's shivering, Hisoka started the investigation.
"So, let's move onto serious business *spade*, shall we?" said Hisoka, taking out a pen and a notebook, "who died?"
"Gon," replied Killua undoubtedly.
Hisoka looked disappointed. "Oh, no! That's terrible! My fruit.... *club*...." He'd always paid attention to Gon, and he'd never expected something like that would happen. In fact, no one would have expected it.
"All right, who found him first?" asked Illumi, taking out a pen and a notebook, ready to jot down the clues and important notes.
"Me," replied Killua, "I found the blood on his bed. And Kurapica found some ash in the oven."
Illumi turned to Killua with a suspicious look on his face. "O~h yes, my little brother....," laughed Illumi, "tell me how you found him."
"I went to his room to wake him this morning, and he was nowhere on the bed and blood was on his bed....," replied Killua, feeling uncomfortable because of the look Illumi gave him.
Like all good investigators do, Illumi started jotting down all the possibilities of what might have happened, as well as 'who' could have been capable of doing such terrible thing.
The person who'd found the scene of crime was always the first one on the suspects' list.
"Suspect number one....Killua....," said Illumi as he wrote down Killua's name.
"What? I'm not a suspect!" yelled Killua, sweatdropping.
"Oh, yes you are," said Illumi, jotting down what Killua said, "you could have killed him easily."
"Grr....," said Killua.
Well, Killua was an assassin, but he would never kill a friend. He treasured his friendship with Gon, and he'd never try to hurt his best friend.
"And? Why were you in his room?" Illumi continued on the inquiring.
"I go to his room everyday to wake him," said Killua, looking at the floor uncomfortably, "but this morning ---- never mind!"
"What is it?" asked Illumi, eyeing Killua suspiciously, "tell us."
After a long silence, Killua finally decided to tell, "well, you see, this morning, Kurapica said he'd make chocolate cupcakes.... and you know how much I love chocolate.... I...."
Illumi interrupted. "You killed him so that you can have lots more cupcakes oto yourself," nodded Illumi, looking satisfied as he wrote down what he just said, "and you buried him somewhere. Good. That's the spirit, Killu."
Their suspect number one jumped up to Illumi immediately. "Hey!" he yelled, "I'd never kill anyone for that, not to mention my best friend! I told you ages ago I'm not going to be an assassin!"
"Yeah right," said Illumi, "now who else is there....Hisoka? Who else's there?"
Hisoka, who'd recovered from the heartbreaking thought of Gon's death, thought for a moment. "Hmm....," he said, thinking of people around Gon without noticing that there were two other possible suspects right beside him, "there's Gon's aunt Mito ----"
"What? Aunt Mito?!" yelled Leorio, "hey, give me any reason why she'd come here!"
"Yeah, and you have no proof either!!!!" yelled Killua.
"Well, we can always call her here and ask," suggested Hisoka.
So Illumi called Aunt Mito while Hisoka continued on the investigation. The whole case looked terribly complicated, but the Great Detective Hisoka tried to sort things out as easily as possible. He continued on where Illumi had left off ---- investigating the suspects.
"So," said Hisoka, "who's next?"
"There's always Kurapica," answered Leorio.
"Ah, the Kuruta boy....," laughed Hisoka in that weird, creepy voice of his.
Kurapica made a face. "Why me?" yelled Kurapica, "I'd never kill him! He's a good boy. Besides, why would I kill him for?"
"Let's see....," Hisoka put his hand on his chin, imitating what detectives do when they think. "Did you make those chocolate cupcakes yesterday also?" asked Hisoka.
"Er.... no, I made banana bread yesterday," said Kurapica, trying to remain calm and remember what happened, "and I remember all of us having it for dessert."
"That's it," said Illumi, "the Kuruta boy put poison in it to kill Gon...."
"Why would I?" yelled Kurapica, losing his patience. "Everyone had it, remember? How do I know which piece Gon was going to choose to eat?!"
Hisoka continued writing his notes, with occasional laughter that made everyone shiver. "Well, you might have broken his fighing rod and have no money to replace it and....," Hisoka's reasoning was off the reality, again.
The blond sweatdropped and regreted that he ever hired them for the case. They were so off reality he didn't even want to argue with them.
"Either that or Gon died eating his really bad cooking," added Illumi. He was just like Hisoka and didn't have a clue what he was talking about, "then he could have buried him....or he could have put him in the oven to roast him.... that explains the ash...."
"And your point is?" Kurapica twitched an eyebrow. He was really losing his patience, but he decided not to interfere, since Hisoka and Illumi seemed hard to get rid of once they were here. Yes, they were probably going to stay right there until they solve the case.
"You should take a cooking lesson somewhere," said Illumi, holding up his index finger to mark his point.
Kurapica thought he was going to choke the guy to death. His hands were shaking as if they were saying 'wait till I get my hands on that guy....'.
"Okay, so that was suspect number three," said Hisoka, flipping his notebook to a new page, "let's move onto number four, shall we?"
Number four was Leorio. He was suggesting other people as suspects, but he never thought he, himself, was one of the suspects too. He twitched his eyebrow, annoyed, as Hisoka questioned him.
"And why would I kill Gon??" asked Leorio, definitely displeased.
"Who knows? You might be jealous because he's younger than you," said Illumi.
He looked as if he was going to explode as Leorio remembered how Killua called him 'Ossan' (English: Uncle) during the Hunter Exams. "Just how old do you think I am!!" yelled Leorio, "I'm still in my teens, ok?"
"Oh really?" asked Hisoka, holding up some fan letters and laughing evilly, "'Dear Leorio, are you sure you still haven't reached twenty? You look older than thirty to me.' 'Dear Mr. Togashi, Your character Leo ----"
"Stop that!!!!" yelled Leorio, jumping up in the air, irritated, "and what does my age have to do with poor Gon's death??"
"I don't know." was Illumi's reply.
"....you're the investigator here....," said Leorio, sweatdropping.
All the possible suspects in the room were investigated, so the only other possible suspect was Aunt Mito, as Hisoka suggested. So they waited. While the long waiting went on and on, Illumi and Hisoka compared their notes on the suspects as well as their theories of what might have happened. After few hours Aunt Mito arrived. Finally.
Aunt Mito broke down into tears as soon as she heard the terrible news. She was shaking like mad while she cried and yelled "My Gon's been killed....!? No....this *wah* can't be true....!"
She was crying so hard she had difficulty speaking, but Hisoka was asking her questions as if nothing's happened. "So we're asking, where were you last night?" asked Hisoka, "and do you have any idea who might have done this?"
"Umm *sniff sniff* ....I was at home.... *sniff sniff* looking through our family album....*sniff*," replied Aunt Mito, now covered with tissue papers, "but I don't know anyone *sniff* who could possiblly *sniff sniff* kill my precious Gon....*wa~h*"
"Hmm....," Hisoka examined his notes.
Leorio offered Aunt Mito another box of tissue papers. 'Good thing I bought like twenty boxes of these at the bargain last week!' he whispered to Kurapica thoughtlessly. In reply, Kurapica rolled his eyes and walked away.
"Wait a minute," said Leorio suddenly, his finger pointed at the Great Detective, "can't you be a suspect too?!"
"Who?! Me?!! *club*" asked Hisoka, surprised.
"Yeah, you're always following Gon," replied Leorio, "and you were calling him 'fruit' or something?"
The Detective's reply was unreasonable but quick. "Well, I'm an investigator so I don't count."
"Aha! He's trying to get away with murder!" laughed Leorio as if he'd just won some contest, "I knew it was him!"
"Then his partner in crime would be....," said Killua, sweatdropping.
"Illumi, of course," said Leorio, pointing at Illumi this time, "I knew it! I knew it! Hahaha~!" His ridiculous laughter wasn't as creepy as Detective Hisoka's, but it much more stupid.
"Oh, how did you know??!!" said Hisoka, his eyes and mouth round.
Leorio gave him a now-I've-got-you look and a weird smile. "So you really did killed Gon then?" asked Leorio, ready to report to everyone how he'd solved the case all by himself.
But to his disappointment, "No." was the Detective's reply. It was short and to the point. Leorio looked as if it started raining suddenly, he looked terribly disappointmented.
The others looked at Hisoka flatly but with forced grins on their faces. Hisoka looked at their weird expressions and added "Hehehe....told you I'm a liar."
The whole investigation was stuck right there, for they weren't able to move any more forward. Or it wasn't getting anywhere right from the beginning, should I say.
"Okay, let's go over all the suspects again....," suggested Kurapica. He sighed and held his right hand on his head. The more Hisoka and Illumi tried to clear up things, the more complicated the case became in the blond's head. Leorio wasn't thinking at all (no use even if he did think) and Killua looked confused as ever.
**Hisoka and Illumi's notes:**
Suspect number one: Killua:
- first one to enter the scene of the crime (most suspicious point)
- my little brother (from the assassin family)
- went to wake Gon (or kill Gon)
- found no Gon and blood on bed
Suspect number two: Aunt Mito:
- was at her home last night (or so she says)
- made us wait for hours (a slow walker)
- a good cook (unlike 'someone')
Suspect number three: Kurapica:
- Kuruta boy (or girl)
- bad at cooking (esp. at baking)
- found ash in the oven (roasted Gon, probably)
- might have broken Gon's fishing rod (doesn't want to admit it)
Suspect number four: Leorio:
- hot-tempered (wanted to kill me)
- stupid (doesn't think)
- old (no fans, possibly 30+ in age)
Suspect number five: Hisoka
- follows Gon everywhere (called him his 'fruit')
"Hey! Gon's fishing rod is perfectly fine! It's right there!" yelled Kurapica, pointing at the fishing rod which stood against the wall beside Gon's bed. It wasn't damaged at all, it seemed.
"And I'm not OLD!!!!" yelled Leorio, wripping up all the fan letters Hisoka brought out furiously. Somehow, everyone managed to mistake him for an older person.
"And why's my name up there??!" yelled Hisoka.
"You wrote it, you idiot," yelled Kurapica and Leorio together.
The silver-haired boy was thinking all these time. Suddenly, he stood up from Gon's bed (no one told him he wasn't supposed to go near the scene of crime....) and yelled "I've got it!!!!" The serious look on Killua's face showed that he wasn't joking. He turned to Illumi and pointed at him. "Nii-san, you killed Gon!!!!"
"What??!?!!?" yelled everyone in surprise.
"And why?" asked Illumi, eyeing Killua with his big black eyes, "I'm not even on the suspect list."
Killua sweatdropped. "Um.... well, you could have...."
"Oh, these two investigators are so useless!" yelled Aunt Mito, cutting in, "okay, Sherlock Mito is taking over!"
No one knew what to say. They were all making faces at her with disbelief. Sherlock Mito? Was she any better than the Great Detective and his assistant?
"And I say, my precious Gon killed himself!" yelled Aunt Mito, pointing her thin, long index finger in the air.
"What?!?!?!" yelled everyone else. They were just as surprised as when they heard Killua say Illumi had killed Gon.
Aunt Mito walked back and forth in Gon's room, her hands on her hips. "Okay, first, he decided to kill himself," said Aunt.... er.... Sherlock Mito, "he cut somewhere like his wrist so it started bleeding, and then he decided he didn't want to die anymore, so he went somewhere to find something that would stop the bleeding."
No, Aunt (Sherlock) Mito wasn't any better than the Great Detective. Her reasonings were way off and she had no idea what she was talking about either. Detectives these days....
"And why didn't he come to me?!" asked Leorio coonfidently, "I'm going to be a doctor!"
The Sherlock thought carefully for a moment, and replied "Because you don't have the doctor's licence yet." She snapped her fingers, "and he was afraid you'd use the wrong drug and kill him!"
"Er....," Leorio sweatdropped. 'What the heck is she talking about now?!'
To put everyone back on track, Killua suggested some clues "And where did the ash come from?"
"That's probably because Kurapica burnt something when he was cooking," said Aunt Mito, very pleased at how well she'd reasoned all these things. "So in conclusion ----"
Aunt (Sherlock) Mito's conclusion was interrupted by the most unlikely person ---- Gon! "Hi, everyone!" he said as he came running into the room with a bright smile on his face, "what are you guys doing?"
"GON!!!!" yelled Killua and Kurapica, running to where Gon stood. They were really surprised, but it was a happy surprise for them. However, Leorio ran to the opposite direction yelling "Aah!!!! A ghost!!!!" Leorio stayed in the corner of Gon's room and shivered. "H-help.... Gon's supposed to be dead but he's-he's-he's...."
"What ghost?" asked Gon, confused.
"Gon, what happened to you?" asked Killua, hugging Gon tightly, "we saw the blood and...."
Gon saw how weird his friends' expressions were, so he decided to tell them exactly what happened. "Well, it all starts last night, when Kurapica made that awful banana bread," he explained.
Everyone looked at Kurapica.
"....well! I'm so-ry!" groaned Kurapica, turning away. "Hn!"
They turned back to Gon so he could continue on his explaination. "Because of that banana bread, my stomache wasn't full, since I spit out the awful thing, you see." Everyone except Kurapica looked convinced. Kurapica had veins popping out. "So when I went to bed, I was really hungry," continued Gon, "so I sneaked into the kitchen and cut some fresh meat so I could eat something before sleeping...."
"So that's where the blood came from!" said Killua, snapping his fingers.
"And then I put it in the oven and forgot to wash my hands....," continued Gon with a sheepish laughter.
Aunt (not Sherlock anymore) Mito was displeased. "Gon! How many times have I told you to always wash your hands!" Normally, she'd have given Gon a three-hour lecture on you-should-always-wash-your-hands, but she wanted to know what happened, too.
"Sorry, Aunt Mito....," said Gon quietly, sticking out his tongue, "so anyways, the meat was burnt and that's where the ash comes from."
"So that's exactly what happened," said Hisoka.
Leorio was annoyed by the Great Detective. Some Detective he was! "....mind you, you didn't solve the crime," said Leorio.
"Oh, but I was on the right track!" said Hisoka, going over to Gon and patting him on the head, "right, Gon-chan?"
"Eek!" goosebumps covered Gon's body.
"So another crime solved by the great detective Hisoka and his outstanding assistant Illumi!" said Hisoka, "paycheck, please."
The sunglasses guy tried to push Hisoka and Illumi out the door, "you didn't do anything, you morons!"
"Oh, yes I did!" laughed Hisoka, showing them the notes on suspects and the evidence, "now pay us."
Kurapica and Killua watched the arguments with sweatdrops, and Gon was still clueless while Leorio argued with Hisoka, but all goes well ends well! Another Mysterious Case solved by the Great Detective and his assistant!
*tsuzuku....*
[I rewrote 'Assassinated'.... and there's going to be more cases for the Great Detective to solve ^^;; any comment/suggestion is accepted ^^ but no flames, please.... I've had enough of those....]
[Disclaimers/Note: I do not own any of the HxH characters. OOCness can be expected in the story.]
** Case 1 : The Case of the Missing Boy (AsSaSsInAtEd rewritten) **
One morning, Killua went to Gon's room to wake him as he did every morning. The knock on the door wasn't answered, but Killua decided to go in anyway. Slowly and quietly, walking on the grey carpet he went. His attention was immediately turned to Gon's bed, where he'd expected to see Gon sleeping like an innocent child. But what did he see? Gon was nowhere on his bed, and traces of blood! Blood was all over his bed!
"Omigosh!!!! Gon's dead!!!!" yelled Killua in panic. He ran down the corridor into the kitchen, where Kurapica and Leorio prepared their breakfast.
Hearing Killua's yelling, Leorio quickly ran to Gon's room. They were all terrified and panicking because of the news.
"Gon!!!!" yelled Leorio, "what happened?!"
"I don't know! I came to wake him up and he was already dead....," explained Killua, his voice shaking.
Kurapica, who was still in the kitchen, noticed some black, powdery things in the oven. "Look, there's some ash in the oven!"
"What???? Gon's been roasted????" yelled Leorio. His head was spinning he didn't know what to think.
This called for some detective work. Kurapica flipped through their old, thick phone book and found the numbers of private detectives. The private investigator he called had the most 'interesting' and threatening message as his signature on the phone book. 'I'll Kill You If You Don't Hire Me.... Hehehe....'.
Kurapica thought about calling other private detectives, but it seemed that it was the only number they gave in the book. And the reason 'why' was written in bold letters at the bottom of the page: 'We're sorry we could find only one private detective, but it seems like 'someone' had scared off all the others. We apologize for the inconvenience.'
Half an hour later, the investigator arrived along with his assistant. How did they get there? We'll never know.
Both the investigator and his assistant seemed to have a weird taste in fashion. They both wore very unique clothes, and the most significant thing about him would be the chill the Hunters felt as he entered the room.
"Hello *heart*," it was Hisoka. And his assistant, of course, was Illumi.
Killua, Kurapica and Leorio were shocked. Their mouths seemed to have trouble closing, and their eyes were round as ping-pong balls.
"Hi-hi-hi-hi-hi-....," Leorio, who was the first one to speak up, was choking on his words.
"Stop that weird laughter," said Illumi, "it's not that funny."
"I'm not laughing!!!!" yelled Leorio, "I was going to say 'Hisoka!!!!'"
Ignoring Killua and Kurapica's surprised looks and Leorio's shivering, Hisoka started the investigation.
"So, let's move onto serious business *spade*, shall we?" said Hisoka, taking out a pen and a notebook, "who died?"
"Gon," replied Killua undoubtedly.
Hisoka looked disappointed. "Oh, no! That's terrible! My fruit.... *club*...." He'd always paid attention to Gon, and he'd never expected something like that would happen. In fact, no one would have expected it.
"All right, who found him first?" asked Illumi, taking out a pen and a notebook, ready to jot down the clues and important notes.
"Me," replied Killua, "I found the blood on his bed. And Kurapica found some ash in the oven."
Illumi turned to Killua with a suspicious look on his face. "O~h yes, my little brother....," laughed Illumi, "tell me how you found him."
"I went to his room to wake him this morning, and he was nowhere on the bed and blood was on his bed....," replied Killua, feeling uncomfortable because of the look Illumi gave him.
Like all good investigators do, Illumi started jotting down all the possibilities of what might have happened, as well as 'who' could have been capable of doing such terrible thing.
The person who'd found the scene of crime was always the first one on the suspects' list.
"Suspect number one....Killua....," said Illumi as he wrote down Killua's name.
"What? I'm not a suspect!" yelled Killua, sweatdropping.
"Oh, yes you are," said Illumi, jotting down what Killua said, "you could have killed him easily."
"Grr....," said Killua.
Well, Killua was an assassin, but he would never kill a friend. He treasured his friendship with Gon, and he'd never try to hurt his best friend.
"And? Why were you in his room?" Illumi continued on the inquiring.
"I go to his room everyday to wake him," said Killua, looking at the floor uncomfortably, "but this morning ---- never mind!"
"What is it?" asked Illumi, eyeing Killua suspiciously, "tell us."
After a long silence, Killua finally decided to tell, "well, you see, this morning, Kurapica said he'd make chocolate cupcakes.... and you know how much I love chocolate.... I...."
Illumi interrupted. "You killed him so that you can have lots more cupcakes oto yourself," nodded Illumi, looking satisfied as he wrote down what he just said, "and you buried him somewhere. Good. That's the spirit, Killu."
Their suspect number one jumped up to Illumi immediately. "Hey!" he yelled, "I'd never kill anyone for that, not to mention my best friend! I told you ages ago I'm not going to be an assassin!"
"Yeah right," said Illumi, "now who else is there....Hisoka? Who else's there?"
Hisoka, who'd recovered from the heartbreaking thought of Gon's death, thought for a moment. "Hmm....," he said, thinking of people around Gon without noticing that there were two other possible suspects right beside him, "there's Gon's aunt Mito ----"
"What? Aunt Mito?!" yelled Leorio, "hey, give me any reason why she'd come here!"
"Yeah, and you have no proof either!!!!" yelled Killua.
"Well, we can always call her here and ask," suggested Hisoka.
So Illumi called Aunt Mito while Hisoka continued on the investigation. The whole case looked terribly complicated, but the Great Detective Hisoka tried to sort things out as easily as possible. He continued on where Illumi had left off ---- investigating the suspects.
"So," said Hisoka, "who's next?"
"There's always Kurapica," answered Leorio.
"Ah, the Kuruta boy....," laughed Hisoka in that weird, creepy voice of his.
Kurapica made a face. "Why me?" yelled Kurapica, "I'd never kill him! He's a good boy. Besides, why would I kill him for?"
"Let's see....," Hisoka put his hand on his chin, imitating what detectives do when they think. "Did you make those chocolate cupcakes yesterday also?" asked Hisoka.
"Er.... no, I made banana bread yesterday," said Kurapica, trying to remain calm and remember what happened, "and I remember all of us having it for dessert."
"That's it," said Illumi, "the Kuruta boy put poison in it to kill Gon...."
"Why would I?" yelled Kurapica, losing his patience. "Everyone had it, remember? How do I know which piece Gon was going to choose to eat?!"
Hisoka continued writing his notes, with occasional laughter that made everyone shiver. "Well, you might have broken his fighing rod and have no money to replace it and....," Hisoka's reasoning was off the reality, again.
The blond sweatdropped and regreted that he ever hired them for the case. They were so off reality he didn't even want to argue with them.
"Either that or Gon died eating his really bad cooking," added Illumi. He was just like Hisoka and didn't have a clue what he was talking about, "then he could have buried him....or he could have put him in the oven to roast him.... that explains the ash...."
"And your point is?" Kurapica twitched an eyebrow. He was really losing his patience, but he decided not to interfere, since Hisoka and Illumi seemed hard to get rid of once they were here. Yes, they were probably going to stay right there until they solve the case.
"You should take a cooking lesson somewhere," said Illumi, holding up his index finger to mark his point.
Kurapica thought he was going to choke the guy to death. His hands were shaking as if they were saying 'wait till I get my hands on that guy....'.
"Okay, so that was suspect number three," said Hisoka, flipping his notebook to a new page, "let's move onto number four, shall we?"
Number four was Leorio. He was suggesting other people as suspects, but he never thought he, himself, was one of the suspects too. He twitched his eyebrow, annoyed, as Hisoka questioned him.
"And why would I kill Gon??" asked Leorio, definitely displeased.
"Who knows? You might be jealous because he's younger than you," said Illumi.
He looked as if he was going to explode as Leorio remembered how Killua called him 'Ossan' (English: Uncle) during the Hunter Exams. "Just how old do you think I am!!" yelled Leorio, "I'm still in my teens, ok?"
"Oh really?" asked Hisoka, holding up some fan letters and laughing evilly, "'Dear Leorio, are you sure you still haven't reached twenty? You look older than thirty to me.' 'Dear Mr. Togashi, Your character Leo ----"
"Stop that!!!!" yelled Leorio, jumping up in the air, irritated, "and what does my age have to do with poor Gon's death??"
"I don't know." was Illumi's reply.
"....you're the investigator here....," said Leorio, sweatdropping.
All the possible suspects in the room were investigated, so the only other possible suspect was Aunt Mito, as Hisoka suggested. So they waited. While the long waiting went on and on, Illumi and Hisoka compared their notes on the suspects as well as their theories of what might have happened. After few hours Aunt Mito arrived. Finally.
Aunt Mito broke down into tears as soon as she heard the terrible news. She was shaking like mad while she cried and yelled "My Gon's been killed....!? No....this *wah* can't be true....!"
She was crying so hard she had difficulty speaking, but Hisoka was asking her questions as if nothing's happened. "So we're asking, where were you last night?" asked Hisoka, "and do you have any idea who might have done this?"
"Umm *sniff sniff* ....I was at home.... *sniff sniff* looking through our family album....*sniff*," replied Aunt Mito, now covered with tissue papers, "but I don't know anyone *sniff* who could possiblly *sniff sniff* kill my precious Gon....*wa~h*"
"Hmm....," Hisoka examined his notes.
Leorio offered Aunt Mito another box of tissue papers. 'Good thing I bought like twenty boxes of these at the bargain last week!' he whispered to Kurapica thoughtlessly. In reply, Kurapica rolled his eyes and walked away.
"Wait a minute," said Leorio suddenly, his finger pointed at the Great Detective, "can't you be a suspect too?!"
"Who?! Me?!! *club*" asked Hisoka, surprised.
"Yeah, you're always following Gon," replied Leorio, "and you were calling him 'fruit' or something?"
The Detective's reply was unreasonable but quick. "Well, I'm an investigator so I don't count."
"Aha! He's trying to get away with murder!" laughed Leorio as if he'd just won some contest, "I knew it was him!"
"Then his partner in crime would be....," said Killua, sweatdropping.
"Illumi, of course," said Leorio, pointing at Illumi this time, "I knew it! I knew it! Hahaha~!" His ridiculous laughter wasn't as creepy as Detective Hisoka's, but it much more stupid.
"Oh, how did you know??!!" said Hisoka, his eyes and mouth round.
Leorio gave him a now-I've-got-you look and a weird smile. "So you really did killed Gon then?" asked Leorio, ready to report to everyone how he'd solved the case all by himself.
But to his disappointment, "No." was the Detective's reply. It was short and to the point. Leorio looked as if it started raining suddenly, he looked terribly disappointmented.
The others looked at Hisoka flatly but with forced grins on their faces. Hisoka looked at their weird expressions and added "Hehehe....told you I'm a liar."
The whole investigation was stuck right there, for they weren't able to move any more forward. Or it wasn't getting anywhere right from the beginning, should I say.
"Okay, let's go over all the suspects again....," suggested Kurapica. He sighed and held his right hand on his head. The more Hisoka and Illumi tried to clear up things, the more complicated the case became in the blond's head. Leorio wasn't thinking at all (no use even if he did think) and Killua looked confused as ever.
**Hisoka and Illumi's notes:**
Suspect number one: Killua:
- first one to enter the scene of the crime (most suspicious point)
- my little brother (from the assassin family)
- went to wake Gon (or kill Gon)
- found no Gon and blood on bed
Suspect number two: Aunt Mito:
- was at her home last night (or so she says)
- made us wait for hours (a slow walker)
- a good cook (unlike 'someone')
Suspect number three: Kurapica:
- Kuruta boy (or girl)
- bad at cooking (esp. at baking)
- found ash in the oven (roasted Gon, probably)
- might have broken Gon's fishing rod (doesn't want to admit it)
Suspect number four: Leorio:
- hot-tempered (wanted to kill me)
- stupid (doesn't think)
- old (no fans, possibly 30+ in age)
Suspect number five: Hisoka
- follows Gon everywhere (called him his 'fruit')
"Hey! Gon's fishing rod is perfectly fine! It's right there!" yelled Kurapica, pointing at the fishing rod which stood against the wall beside Gon's bed. It wasn't damaged at all, it seemed.
"And I'm not OLD!!!!" yelled Leorio, wripping up all the fan letters Hisoka brought out furiously. Somehow, everyone managed to mistake him for an older person.
"And why's my name up there??!" yelled Hisoka.
"You wrote it, you idiot," yelled Kurapica and Leorio together.
The silver-haired boy was thinking all these time. Suddenly, he stood up from Gon's bed (no one told him he wasn't supposed to go near the scene of crime....) and yelled "I've got it!!!!" The serious look on Killua's face showed that he wasn't joking. He turned to Illumi and pointed at him. "Nii-san, you killed Gon!!!!"
"What??!?!!?" yelled everyone in surprise.
"And why?" asked Illumi, eyeing Killua with his big black eyes, "I'm not even on the suspect list."
Killua sweatdropped. "Um.... well, you could have...."
"Oh, these two investigators are so useless!" yelled Aunt Mito, cutting in, "okay, Sherlock Mito is taking over!"
No one knew what to say. They were all making faces at her with disbelief. Sherlock Mito? Was she any better than the Great Detective and his assistant?
"And I say, my precious Gon killed himself!" yelled Aunt Mito, pointing her thin, long index finger in the air.
"What?!?!?!" yelled everyone else. They were just as surprised as when they heard Killua say Illumi had killed Gon.
Aunt Mito walked back and forth in Gon's room, her hands on her hips. "Okay, first, he decided to kill himself," said Aunt.... er.... Sherlock Mito, "he cut somewhere like his wrist so it started bleeding, and then he decided he didn't want to die anymore, so he went somewhere to find something that would stop the bleeding."
No, Aunt (Sherlock) Mito wasn't any better than the Great Detective. Her reasonings were way off and she had no idea what she was talking about either. Detectives these days....
"And why didn't he come to me?!" asked Leorio coonfidently, "I'm going to be a doctor!"
The Sherlock thought carefully for a moment, and replied "Because you don't have the doctor's licence yet." She snapped her fingers, "and he was afraid you'd use the wrong drug and kill him!"
"Er....," Leorio sweatdropped. 'What the heck is she talking about now?!'
To put everyone back on track, Killua suggested some clues "And where did the ash come from?"
"That's probably because Kurapica burnt something when he was cooking," said Aunt Mito, very pleased at how well she'd reasoned all these things. "So in conclusion ----"
Aunt (Sherlock) Mito's conclusion was interrupted by the most unlikely person ---- Gon! "Hi, everyone!" he said as he came running into the room with a bright smile on his face, "what are you guys doing?"
"GON!!!!" yelled Killua and Kurapica, running to where Gon stood. They were really surprised, but it was a happy surprise for them. However, Leorio ran to the opposite direction yelling "Aah!!!! A ghost!!!!" Leorio stayed in the corner of Gon's room and shivered. "H-help.... Gon's supposed to be dead but he's-he's-he's...."
"What ghost?" asked Gon, confused.
"Gon, what happened to you?" asked Killua, hugging Gon tightly, "we saw the blood and...."
Gon saw how weird his friends' expressions were, so he decided to tell them exactly what happened. "Well, it all starts last night, when Kurapica made that awful banana bread," he explained.
Everyone looked at Kurapica.
"....well! I'm so-ry!" groaned Kurapica, turning away. "Hn!"
They turned back to Gon so he could continue on his explaination. "Because of that banana bread, my stomache wasn't full, since I spit out the awful thing, you see." Everyone except Kurapica looked convinced. Kurapica had veins popping out. "So when I went to bed, I was really hungry," continued Gon, "so I sneaked into the kitchen and cut some fresh meat so I could eat something before sleeping...."
"So that's where the blood came from!" said Killua, snapping his fingers.
"And then I put it in the oven and forgot to wash my hands....," continued Gon with a sheepish laughter.
Aunt (not Sherlock anymore) Mito was displeased. "Gon! How many times have I told you to always wash your hands!" Normally, she'd have given Gon a three-hour lecture on you-should-always-wash-your-hands, but she wanted to know what happened, too.
"Sorry, Aunt Mito....," said Gon quietly, sticking out his tongue, "so anyways, the meat was burnt and that's where the ash comes from."
"So that's exactly what happened," said Hisoka.
Leorio was annoyed by the Great Detective. Some Detective he was! "....mind you, you didn't solve the crime," said Leorio.
"Oh, but I was on the right track!" said Hisoka, going over to Gon and patting him on the head, "right, Gon-chan?"
"Eek!" goosebumps covered Gon's body.
"So another crime solved by the great detective Hisoka and his outstanding assistant Illumi!" said Hisoka, "paycheck, please."
The sunglasses guy tried to push Hisoka and Illumi out the door, "you didn't do anything, you morons!"
"Oh, yes I did!" laughed Hisoka, showing them the notes on suspects and the evidence, "now pay us."
Kurapica and Killua watched the arguments with sweatdrops, and Gon was still clueless while Leorio argued with Hisoka, but all goes well ends well! Another Mysterious Case solved by the Great Detective and his assistant!
*tsuzuku....*
[I rewrote 'Assassinated'.... and there's going to be more cases for the Great Detective to solve ^^;; any comment/suggestion is accepted ^^ but no flames, please.... I've had enough of those....]