**** The Mysterious Cases of Detective Hisoka ****
[Disclaimers/Note: I do not own any of the HxH characters. OOCness can be expected in the story.]
[Dedication: For Cherrie ^-^ I truly appreciate all the help and support you've given me ^^ you've been a wonderful friend ^^ otanjyoubi omedetougozaimasu ^^v (happy birthday) ]
** Case 3 : The Kuroro Lucifer Mystery **
"What are you doing, Danchou?" asked a tall woman with a gun in her hand. Pakunoda was her name, and people usually called her 'Paku' as her nickname. She walked up to a man sitting in front of a new computer. He didn't use computers, usually, so she seemed interested in knowing what the man was doing with it.
The man turned to her with a surprised expression, covering the computer screen subconsciously. He gave her a nervous laugh as he quickly pressed "SEND" button of his E-mail.
"N-nothing, Paku," he said as the 'Your Message Has Been Sent' message came on the screen. The man wore a long, black coat with an upside down cross on it, and his hair ---- probably used hair gel ---- looked like a bird's nest. Though his appearance wasn't exactly what a thief or a robber would look like, but the truth was, that he was the head of 'Kumo' ---- spider ---- a group of robbers who'd do anything to get what they want, including killing and stealing. In fact, killing was like a habit to them, they were all used to killing off anyone who'd happened to be in their way.
The woman stared at their leader suspiciously. If it was nothing, then why was he covering up whatever he was writing? And who was that E-mail sent to? The more she thought about it, the more suspicious she got.
"Hey Paku! What are you doing over there?" called another member of their group. She was a pretty girl with big eyes and a pair of glasses. "Come join us!" She smiled as she got back to a card game she'd been playing with her fellow group members. Pakunoda nodded and replied "Be right there!"
* * * *
It was hard not to think about the E-mail, since the Danchou was so secretive about it. Pakunoda thought she had to figure out what was in that E-mail, and whom it was sent to. Robbers were supposed to take whatever they liked from whoever the victim happened to be, but in this case, Pakunoda felt that it wasn't right for her to go force it out of their own leader.
Their leader Kuroro was very mysterious. His thoughts were hard to read, unless you'd always been around him. Though he probably wouldn't actually kill her for asking a simple question as 'what was that E-mail for?', but he'd think she was out of her mind, questioning him like that. Besides, it might have been something personal ---- something Kuroro wouldn't have liked to share with his arms and legs of The Spider.
Then she'd have to find out about the truth some other way, thought Paku. She couldn't let Kuroro know that she was curious enough to do some investigations on it, so she had to have someone else doing the work for her. The perfect source for people like that ---- even for robbers ---- the phone book.
Pakunoda took the phone book in her hand and walked over to a corner of their territory where no one could see her. What kind of people would do business like these? She thought. The first career name that popped into her mind was Detective. In the Detectives' section, there were lots of ads. Pakunoda scanned through the page, and found the most eye-catching title ---- the Spiders.
"What are you doing?" It was the same girl who'd invited her to join them for a card game. Behind her was a girl with violet hair. They all looked curiously at Pakunoda and her phone book.
"Shizuku! Machi!" Pakunoda gave a gasp of surprise. She thought the two would never get off her back, so she looked around and made sure no one else was listening. Quickly, she explained to the two exactly what happened.
"No way!" exclaimed Shizuku. Machi covered her mouth, but it was too late. The whole Phantom Brigade had their attention on Shizuku. "I-I mean.... No way! I won't cook dinner for tonight, Machi!" The others sweatdropped and got back to whatever they were doing.
"That was close," sighed Pakunoda. Then, in a low whisper, she went back to the phone book. "We'll call this number ---- the Spiders'." Shizuku and Machi nodded.
Without looking at any other ads, she dialled the number of the company. So obviously she didn't notice the note at the bottom of the page. The message was the same message as the one Gon didn't bother to read in the last case, and Pakunoda was about to regret that she'd called the number. The message was about how someone had been threatening the editors of the phone book to write all the detective business' numbers as theirs.
The cell phone started making the dialling sound. Hurry up and get the phone, she thought.
Before the line was connected, Machi noticed Hisoka getting his cell phone. She saw that Hisoka's cell phone was vibrating, and she had a very bad feeling about it. Soon as the magician pressed a button, the line was connected.
"Hello....?" Hisoka answered his cell phone in a low, creepy voice. "Who is this....?"
Pakunoda froze. Hisoka?! What was Hisoka doing, posting up an ad like that?! Machi shook her head, muttering "I knew it...." and Shizuku was lost again. "Why are you calling again?"
"H-Hisoka....," Pakunoda said finally. "Y-you posted up the ad?!"
The magician laughed in his weird voice. "That's right." He then re-answered the phone with a more official speech. "You've reached Detective Hisoka's office.... How can I help you today?"
Pakunoda sweatdropped. There had to be a reason why she'd called, but then if she tells him, he might tell Kuroro. After thinking for few moments, she finally spoke up. "Well.... Hisoka...." On the other end of the line was 'tuuuut tuuuut tuuuut....' "Hisoka?! ANSWER!!!!" she yelled.
"Um, I think he hang up, Paku," Shizuku sweatdropped. "Let's call again then." Pakunoda called the number, muttering "Stupid Hisoka.... just when I was about to say what I needed...." Soon as the line was connected, Pakunoda told him what she needed.
"Hisoka, let's meet in the park this afternoon," she said quickly. "Don't be late!" But just as she hung up, she realized that she'd forgotten two things: The location ---- exactly 'which' park they were going to meet in, and the time. Shizuku and Machi could see that Pakunoda was panicking, too, so they sweatdropped and looked at Pakunoda as she made another phone call.
This time, she stated the time and place clearly. But Hisoka wasn't listening to them seriously at all. "Seven-thirty?" he said in his creepy voice. "Aw, I'd love to, but I've got a date with Machi ----"
"NO YOU DON'T!!!!" another voice cut in, and clearly, the voice belonged to Machi. She groaned as she threw the phone back to Pakunoda. "Stupid clown....," she muttered.
"Oh, I was just joking.... kukuku....," giggled Hisoka. The girls sweatdropped.
And after finally setting up an 'appointment', the girls decided they should do an investigation so that they could get some facts about whoever Kuroro was E-mailing. The reason? One, they wanted to know badly whoever that person was. Two, they didn't trust Hisoka and his detective work.
* * * *
It was seven twenty-five PM and the girls were at the entrance of a local park, where they'd agreed to meet. They were five minutes early, but that was enough time for them to talk it over. They looked around and made sure not a soul was listening to them ---- not anyone suspicious, anyway.
"So how is he going to help us?" asked Machi. "He'd probably just get into our way." It was true, seeing Hisoka's previous detective works.
"But there isn't any more numbers in the phone book," explained Pakunoda with a sigh. She told the girls about the note on the page about how 'someone' made them write all the phone numbers as theirs. "And who knows? Maybe he has some kind of hidden talent!" But Machi doubted that.
Shizuku was the first one to notice that Hisoka was heading their way. "Look," she said, pointing at a clown walking toward them. After a pause, she added "....who was he again?" But the other two girls ignored her. They were looking at Hisoka as he walked toward them.
"Let's go to a cafe and talk this over while we drink something," suggested Pakunoda. The other three followed her without a word.
The cafe was almost empty when then entered it. Only few customers were there, and the waiters and waitresses looked bored, too. The cafe was small, with some little tables and wooden chairs, but the flowers and decorations brightened the mood of the small cafe.
As the four walked to the counter, a waitress came to them and led them to one of the empty tables. "May I take your order?" she asked politely. She was really scared of the smile on Hisoka's face, but she didn't dare show it.
Pakunoda ordered a cup of coffee, and so did Machi and Shizuku. "Anything else?" asked the waitress. She was still shivering as she turned to the fourth customer.
"Hmm....," laughed Hisoka. "I'll have a sundae with two scoops of vanilla ice cream and a scoop of chocolate ice cream and some chocolate syrup and some maple syrup and strawberries, some blue berries and some raspberries...."
"H-hold on....," the waitress sweatdropped as she wrote down Hisoka's order.
Pakunoda, Machi and Shizuku sweatdropped, too. Hisoka's detective works were bad even without the extra stuff distracting him, how was Hisoka going to concentrate on the work?
"And some cherries," said Hisoka. The waitress managed to get everything down, but Hisoka stopped her just as she turned to go. "By the way," smiled Hisoka. "I didn't bring any money." As Hisoka continued his weird laughter, the waitress walked back to the counter quickly. Of course, she was annoyed by Hisoka's performance, but she was also scared of him, so she left without a word.
"Anyway," sighed Pakunoda. "Let us tell you what we need to find out." Pakunoda told him exactly what she saw, and Hisoka pretended that he was listening to every detail. Pakunoda explained to him about how surprised Kuroro looked, and about the mysterious E-mail. To make people believe that he being serious, he took out his notebook ---- notebook filled with random information from the last cases that weren't really necessary.
"Hmm.... this is very interesting," Hisoka put his hand on his chin. "So what I should do is to follow this target of yours and find out about what's going on. Tell me what you think is happening."
"Hmm....," Pakunoda looked at Machi and Shizuku. "What do you think?" Machi's hypothesis was that Kuroro wanted to stop robbing people and start shopping online. That wasn't the best answer, but it was still a possibility. Shizuku assumed that Kuroro had met someone he was interested in online, and he was E-mailing the girl. Both of the two possibilities were weird, but Pakunoda's was the weirdest. "I think," she began seriously. "He started studying computers and didn't want us to know."
The two other girls looked at her in disbelief. Hisoka laughed, as always. "N-no way," said Shizuku. "Why would Danchou start studying computers?" Machi shook her head. Hisoka laughed, "Kukuku.... maybe he wants to start building a web page for the Kumos...." Pakunoda, Machi and Shizuku rolled their eyes.
"Okay," coughed Pakunoda. "We'll see how it goes. Come on. Let's go back." She stood to go, and Machi and Shizuku followed her.
"And I'll contact my assistant so that we could discuss the problem together," said Hisoka, pulling out his cell phone.
Pakunoda twitched her eyebrow. "You had an assistant?!" Hisoka nodded. Maybe his assistant was better than him, thought Pakunoda as the three girls left.
* * * *
Things got weirder and weirder as the next day approached. They were all in their territory, as always. Some were playing a card game; some were just sitting there. Pakunoda, Machi and Shizuku were in a corner again, where the others couldn't see them.
"This is weird," said Machi. She looked serious as she eyed the other members. Their leader was nowhere to be seen, and Hisoka was chatting non-stop on his cell phone. "Danchou was never late before."
Shizuku looked around, too. "Yeah.... I wonder where he is...." Just then, the sounds of footsteps approached them, and their Danchou came into the room.
All the members of Kumo looked at their Danchou. Kuroro wore his long coat with an upside-down cross as usual, but his head ---- it was beyond any of the member's imagination. On his head was a pink baseball cap, which made him look ---- even more unusual. He pulled the brim of the hat and covered his hair. He looked around and found everyone looking at him, so quickly, he walked over to a cardboard box and sat down, avoiding contact with anyone.
Pakunoda froze. "I guess Shizuku's theory was correct then....," she said as she stared at Kuroro. "He's changed his looks just so that the girl would be interested in him, too!" Machi made a face as she shook her head and turned to look at Kuroro. They were all surprised, no doubt, that Kuroro was changing his looks. He looked embarrassed, but he didn't bother to explain why he was doing it.
After a while, Hisoka approached Kuroro with his notebook. The Danchou didn't look too happy, but Hisoka managed to convince him that he wasn't up to anything evil. "Okay, Danchou....," Hisoka chuckled. "I'm just going to ask you few questions. I'm not here to ask you what you were hiding and who you were E-mailing or anything, ok?" With that opening statement, it was too obvious that Hisoka was up to no good.
But the Danchou looked convinced. "Okay, ask away." He didn't seem to have been suspecting anything.
"Okay.... first question," said Hisoka. "What was that E-mail about?"
Kuroro twitched his eyebrow. "Hey! You promised you wouldn't ask about that!"
"Fine, fine.... next question then," continued Hisoka. "Who were you E-mailing?" Kuroro demanded that Hisoka doesn't ask any more of questions of that kind. Hisoka just laughed and said, "Relax, it's not me who'd like to know all these...."
"Oh?" Kuroro blinked.
'That IDIOT!' Machi wanted to go up to Hisoka and yell in his ear, but Pakunoda stopped him. It was no use getting Hisoka to help, they decided. What kind of detective would almost give away the names of people who'd hired him?
* * * *
"What do you think you were doing!" shouted Machi.
The girls and the Detective were at the same cafe. Pakunoda ordered a cup of coffee, again, to calm herself down so that she wouldn't go kill Hisoka, and Hisoka was annoying the waitress by ordering random things that they'd never find in a cafe.
As they all knew, the investigation was going nowhere. No progress was made since they hired Hisoka. But Hisoka didn't look worried at all ---- he didn't care whether or not he'd find out what had been going on with Kuroro. The girls had given up any hope they'd ever had for Hisoka, anyway.
"Oh yeah....," chuckled the clown. "I almost forgot!"
Machi rolled her eyes. "What is it this time?"
"I have an assistant!" replied Hisoka. "I'll call him right away."
Pakunoda sweatdropped as she took another sip from her cup of coffee. He had an assistant and he'd forgotten about him all this time? What was she thinking, assuming that Hisoka had some kind of special talent in detective work....? Pakunoda shook her head as she watched Hisoka call his assistant.
After few minutes, Hisoka's assistant ---- Illumi ---- arrived. He looked around as he entered the cafe, and he headed straight to the table where Hisoka and the girls sat. "What's the case, Hisoka?" he asked. His long, silky hair waved in the air as he turned to the girls.
"Glad you could make it, Illumi....," Hisoka gave him an evil-clown smile. "Meet our clients, Paku, Machi and Shizuku...."
Pakunoda thought that anyone's detective work would have been better than Hisoka's, so she told Illumi her story. Illumi seemed to be listening carefully, though they were occasionally interrupted by Hisoka's weird laughter. When Pakunoda finished telling Illumi the story, Illumi started thinking hard. He had his hand on his chin, and his expression looked a bit more serious than usual.
The three girls watched him while they waited nervously for his conclusion. For the next moments, nothing but silence followed ---- except for Hisoka sipping his coffee.
"I've got it!" said Illumi suddenly.
"Really?!" asked the girls at the same time.
"Yup," replied Illumi. He waited for the others' attentions to turn to him. Pakunoda, Machi and Shizuku watched him closely while he waited, but Hisoka was looking somewhere else ---- he was typing stuff into his cell phone and chuckling.
Machi's eyebrow twitched. "Who cares if he's listening or not. Tell us, Illumi," she said.
"Okay," Illumi coughed to clear his throat. "Theory 1: Your Danchou Kuroro has been brainwashed!" The girls looked at him blankly. "Um....," Illumi sweatdropped. "Theory 2: The real Kuroro was kidnapped!"
"Wha....?" Shizuku looked confused. "No! It can't be! How could Danchou be kidnapped? ....wait ....who were we talking about again?"
Machi ignored her. "Well.... it's possible. Maybe the kidnapper replaced Danchou with a robot.... that explains why Danchou was wearing that pink baseball cap ---- to hide some weird antenna on the robot's head."
"But then why would he do that?" asked Pakunoda. "Why a PINK baseball cap?"
No one seemed convinced by Illumi's theories. The only way to find out what was really happening ---- ask Kuroro. It was no use thinking about these little things till their heads explode.
* * * *
"Let's try my idea first," said Machi.
They were back in the abandoned buildings, where the rest of the members were still playing some card game, and Kuroro was searching for something on the Internet. Machi walked over to him from behind. Kuroro didn't seem to notice, since he was so devoted in whatever he was doing on the computer. With a yank, Machi took off the pink baseball cap. "Sorry, Danchou!" she said.
"What the....," Kuroro covered his head with his hands quickly, but not quick enough. All the members had their attention on him ---- on his head, to be exact. His head looked so messy it seemed like he hadn't brushed his hair for months.
"No antenna?" said Machi. Kuroro looked at her weirdly, as if he was going to ask, 'what antenna?'
"Danchou....," said Shalnark, turning away from the card game. "What happened to your head?"
Kuroro brought his hands off his head. "Well.... my hair had always been difficult to handle," he explained. "So there's a particular brand of Hair Gel I use, since that's the only one that would work on my hair. But recently, that Hair Gel company ran out of business, so I can't find any more of it. I was searching for it online, to see who uses that hair gel so I can go steal from them."
Machi nodded. "So that's why you've been E-mailing people and going on the Internet....," she seemed a bit surprised by the so-called 'logical explanation' their Danchou was telling them.
Pakunoda didn't seem convinced. "But what about the pink baseball cap? Why pink?" To that, all the members' attentions turned to Kuroro once again. Some were trying hard not to laugh because of the image of the great Danchou of a robber group wearing a pink baseball cap.
"Well....," Kuroro sweatdropped. "I went to this shop to rob, but the only baseball caps they had left were pink. There were other bowler hats and top hats and even bandannas, but they were all so big ---- so I thought I'd just take one in random and leave."
"And that's exactly what happened," added Hisoka. "Fufufu...."
Pakunoda and Machi jumped in front of Hisoka right away. "You didn't do anything, you moron!"
Like always, Hisoka never missed the timing for him to say 'and that's exactly what happened'. And nothing serious happened yet Hisoka didn't manage to crack the case. As he annoyed Pakunoda, Machi and Shizuku by asking for his paycheck, he decided that this detective job was better than he thought. 'I'll go bug Gon-chan and friends again sometime,' he thought.
"You didn't solve this, Hisoka," Machi glared at him.
"Oh yes I did~," laughed Hisoka.
"What case?" asked Shizuku, still confused.
Another case solved by the Great Detective Hisoka and his Assistant Illumi ---- not! All these easy problems were solved.... now could anyone solve the problem of how-to-get-rid-of-this-lousy-detective?
** tsuzuku.... **
[As I said in the beginning, Happy Birthday, Cherrie! *glomps Cherrie* this is for you, (if you like it =P) ^^ to my other friends (or enemies, if there is any), please tell me what you think of it but don't flame, okay?]
[Disclaimers/Note: I do not own any of the HxH characters. OOCness can be expected in the story.]
[Dedication: For Cherrie ^-^ I truly appreciate all the help and support you've given me ^^ you've been a wonderful friend ^^ otanjyoubi omedetougozaimasu ^^v (happy birthday) ]
** Case 3 : The Kuroro Lucifer Mystery **
"What are you doing, Danchou?" asked a tall woman with a gun in her hand. Pakunoda was her name, and people usually called her 'Paku' as her nickname. She walked up to a man sitting in front of a new computer. He didn't use computers, usually, so she seemed interested in knowing what the man was doing with it.
The man turned to her with a surprised expression, covering the computer screen subconsciously. He gave her a nervous laugh as he quickly pressed "SEND" button of his E-mail.
"N-nothing, Paku," he said as the 'Your Message Has Been Sent' message came on the screen. The man wore a long, black coat with an upside down cross on it, and his hair ---- probably used hair gel ---- looked like a bird's nest. Though his appearance wasn't exactly what a thief or a robber would look like, but the truth was, that he was the head of 'Kumo' ---- spider ---- a group of robbers who'd do anything to get what they want, including killing and stealing. In fact, killing was like a habit to them, they were all used to killing off anyone who'd happened to be in their way.
The woman stared at their leader suspiciously. If it was nothing, then why was he covering up whatever he was writing? And who was that E-mail sent to? The more she thought about it, the more suspicious she got.
"Hey Paku! What are you doing over there?" called another member of their group. She was a pretty girl with big eyes and a pair of glasses. "Come join us!" She smiled as she got back to a card game she'd been playing with her fellow group members. Pakunoda nodded and replied "Be right there!"
* * * *
It was hard not to think about the E-mail, since the Danchou was so secretive about it. Pakunoda thought she had to figure out what was in that E-mail, and whom it was sent to. Robbers were supposed to take whatever they liked from whoever the victim happened to be, but in this case, Pakunoda felt that it wasn't right for her to go force it out of their own leader.
Their leader Kuroro was very mysterious. His thoughts were hard to read, unless you'd always been around him. Though he probably wouldn't actually kill her for asking a simple question as 'what was that E-mail for?', but he'd think she was out of her mind, questioning him like that. Besides, it might have been something personal ---- something Kuroro wouldn't have liked to share with his arms and legs of The Spider.
Then she'd have to find out about the truth some other way, thought Paku. She couldn't let Kuroro know that she was curious enough to do some investigations on it, so she had to have someone else doing the work for her. The perfect source for people like that ---- even for robbers ---- the phone book.
Pakunoda took the phone book in her hand and walked over to a corner of their territory where no one could see her. What kind of people would do business like these? She thought. The first career name that popped into her mind was Detective. In the Detectives' section, there were lots of ads. Pakunoda scanned through the page, and found the most eye-catching title ---- the Spiders.
"What are you doing?" It was the same girl who'd invited her to join them for a card game. Behind her was a girl with violet hair. They all looked curiously at Pakunoda and her phone book.
"Shizuku! Machi!" Pakunoda gave a gasp of surprise. She thought the two would never get off her back, so she looked around and made sure no one else was listening. Quickly, she explained to the two exactly what happened.
"No way!" exclaimed Shizuku. Machi covered her mouth, but it was too late. The whole Phantom Brigade had their attention on Shizuku. "I-I mean.... No way! I won't cook dinner for tonight, Machi!" The others sweatdropped and got back to whatever they were doing.
"That was close," sighed Pakunoda. Then, in a low whisper, she went back to the phone book. "We'll call this number ---- the Spiders'." Shizuku and Machi nodded.
Without looking at any other ads, she dialled the number of the company. So obviously she didn't notice the note at the bottom of the page. The message was the same message as the one Gon didn't bother to read in the last case, and Pakunoda was about to regret that she'd called the number. The message was about how someone had been threatening the editors of the phone book to write all the detective business' numbers as theirs.
The cell phone started making the dialling sound. Hurry up and get the phone, she thought.
Before the line was connected, Machi noticed Hisoka getting his cell phone. She saw that Hisoka's cell phone was vibrating, and she had a very bad feeling about it. Soon as the magician pressed a button, the line was connected.
"Hello....?" Hisoka answered his cell phone in a low, creepy voice. "Who is this....?"
Pakunoda froze. Hisoka?! What was Hisoka doing, posting up an ad like that?! Machi shook her head, muttering "I knew it...." and Shizuku was lost again. "Why are you calling again?"
"H-Hisoka....," Pakunoda said finally. "Y-you posted up the ad?!"
The magician laughed in his weird voice. "That's right." He then re-answered the phone with a more official speech. "You've reached Detective Hisoka's office.... How can I help you today?"
Pakunoda sweatdropped. There had to be a reason why she'd called, but then if she tells him, he might tell Kuroro. After thinking for few moments, she finally spoke up. "Well.... Hisoka...." On the other end of the line was 'tuuuut tuuuut tuuuut....' "Hisoka?! ANSWER!!!!" she yelled.
"Um, I think he hang up, Paku," Shizuku sweatdropped. "Let's call again then." Pakunoda called the number, muttering "Stupid Hisoka.... just when I was about to say what I needed...." Soon as the line was connected, Pakunoda told him what she needed.
"Hisoka, let's meet in the park this afternoon," she said quickly. "Don't be late!" But just as she hung up, she realized that she'd forgotten two things: The location ---- exactly 'which' park they were going to meet in, and the time. Shizuku and Machi could see that Pakunoda was panicking, too, so they sweatdropped and looked at Pakunoda as she made another phone call.
This time, she stated the time and place clearly. But Hisoka wasn't listening to them seriously at all. "Seven-thirty?" he said in his creepy voice. "Aw, I'd love to, but I've got a date with Machi ----"
"NO YOU DON'T!!!!" another voice cut in, and clearly, the voice belonged to Machi. She groaned as she threw the phone back to Pakunoda. "Stupid clown....," she muttered.
"Oh, I was just joking.... kukuku....," giggled Hisoka. The girls sweatdropped.
And after finally setting up an 'appointment', the girls decided they should do an investigation so that they could get some facts about whoever Kuroro was E-mailing. The reason? One, they wanted to know badly whoever that person was. Two, they didn't trust Hisoka and his detective work.
* * * *
It was seven twenty-five PM and the girls were at the entrance of a local park, where they'd agreed to meet. They were five minutes early, but that was enough time for them to talk it over. They looked around and made sure not a soul was listening to them ---- not anyone suspicious, anyway.
"So how is he going to help us?" asked Machi. "He'd probably just get into our way." It was true, seeing Hisoka's previous detective works.
"But there isn't any more numbers in the phone book," explained Pakunoda with a sigh. She told the girls about the note on the page about how 'someone' made them write all the phone numbers as theirs. "And who knows? Maybe he has some kind of hidden talent!" But Machi doubted that.
Shizuku was the first one to notice that Hisoka was heading their way. "Look," she said, pointing at a clown walking toward them. After a pause, she added "....who was he again?" But the other two girls ignored her. They were looking at Hisoka as he walked toward them.
"Let's go to a cafe and talk this over while we drink something," suggested Pakunoda. The other three followed her without a word.
The cafe was almost empty when then entered it. Only few customers were there, and the waiters and waitresses looked bored, too. The cafe was small, with some little tables and wooden chairs, but the flowers and decorations brightened the mood of the small cafe.
As the four walked to the counter, a waitress came to them and led them to one of the empty tables. "May I take your order?" she asked politely. She was really scared of the smile on Hisoka's face, but she didn't dare show it.
Pakunoda ordered a cup of coffee, and so did Machi and Shizuku. "Anything else?" asked the waitress. She was still shivering as she turned to the fourth customer.
"Hmm....," laughed Hisoka. "I'll have a sundae with two scoops of vanilla ice cream and a scoop of chocolate ice cream and some chocolate syrup and some maple syrup and strawberries, some blue berries and some raspberries...."
"H-hold on....," the waitress sweatdropped as she wrote down Hisoka's order.
Pakunoda, Machi and Shizuku sweatdropped, too. Hisoka's detective works were bad even without the extra stuff distracting him, how was Hisoka going to concentrate on the work?
"And some cherries," said Hisoka. The waitress managed to get everything down, but Hisoka stopped her just as she turned to go. "By the way," smiled Hisoka. "I didn't bring any money." As Hisoka continued his weird laughter, the waitress walked back to the counter quickly. Of course, she was annoyed by Hisoka's performance, but she was also scared of him, so she left without a word.
"Anyway," sighed Pakunoda. "Let us tell you what we need to find out." Pakunoda told him exactly what she saw, and Hisoka pretended that he was listening to every detail. Pakunoda explained to him about how surprised Kuroro looked, and about the mysterious E-mail. To make people believe that he being serious, he took out his notebook ---- notebook filled with random information from the last cases that weren't really necessary.
"Hmm.... this is very interesting," Hisoka put his hand on his chin. "So what I should do is to follow this target of yours and find out about what's going on. Tell me what you think is happening."
"Hmm....," Pakunoda looked at Machi and Shizuku. "What do you think?" Machi's hypothesis was that Kuroro wanted to stop robbing people and start shopping online. That wasn't the best answer, but it was still a possibility. Shizuku assumed that Kuroro had met someone he was interested in online, and he was E-mailing the girl. Both of the two possibilities were weird, but Pakunoda's was the weirdest. "I think," she began seriously. "He started studying computers and didn't want us to know."
The two other girls looked at her in disbelief. Hisoka laughed, as always. "N-no way," said Shizuku. "Why would Danchou start studying computers?" Machi shook her head. Hisoka laughed, "Kukuku.... maybe he wants to start building a web page for the Kumos...." Pakunoda, Machi and Shizuku rolled their eyes.
"Okay," coughed Pakunoda. "We'll see how it goes. Come on. Let's go back." She stood to go, and Machi and Shizuku followed her.
"And I'll contact my assistant so that we could discuss the problem together," said Hisoka, pulling out his cell phone.
Pakunoda twitched her eyebrow. "You had an assistant?!" Hisoka nodded. Maybe his assistant was better than him, thought Pakunoda as the three girls left.
* * * *
Things got weirder and weirder as the next day approached. They were all in their territory, as always. Some were playing a card game; some were just sitting there. Pakunoda, Machi and Shizuku were in a corner again, where the others couldn't see them.
"This is weird," said Machi. She looked serious as she eyed the other members. Their leader was nowhere to be seen, and Hisoka was chatting non-stop on his cell phone. "Danchou was never late before."
Shizuku looked around, too. "Yeah.... I wonder where he is...." Just then, the sounds of footsteps approached them, and their Danchou came into the room.
All the members of Kumo looked at their Danchou. Kuroro wore his long coat with an upside-down cross as usual, but his head ---- it was beyond any of the member's imagination. On his head was a pink baseball cap, which made him look ---- even more unusual. He pulled the brim of the hat and covered his hair. He looked around and found everyone looking at him, so quickly, he walked over to a cardboard box and sat down, avoiding contact with anyone.
Pakunoda froze. "I guess Shizuku's theory was correct then....," she said as she stared at Kuroro. "He's changed his looks just so that the girl would be interested in him, too!" Machi made a face as she shook her head and turned to look at Kuroro. They were all surprised, no doubt, that Kuroro was changing his looks. He looked embarrassed, but he didn't bother to explain why he was doing it.
After a while, Hisoka approached Kuroro with his notebook. The Danchou didn't look too happy, but Hisoka managed to convince him that he wasn't up to anything evil. "Okay, Danchou....," Hisoka chuckled. "I'm just going to ask you few questions. I'm not here to ask you what you were hiding and who you were E-mailing or anything, ok?" With that opening statement, it was too obvious that Hisoka was up to no good.
But the Danchou looked convinced. "Okay, ask away." He didn't seem to have been suspecting anything.
"Okay.... first question," said Hisoka. "What was that E-mail about?"
Kuroro twitched his eyebrow. "Hey! You promised you wouldn't ask about that!"
"Fine, fine.... next question then," continued Hisoka. "Who were you E-mailing?" Kuroro demanded that Hisoka doesn't ask any more of questions of that kind. Hisoka just laughed and said, "Relax, it's not me who'd like to know all these...."
"Oh?" Kuroro blinked.
'That IDIOT!' Machi wanted to go up to Hisoka and yell in his ear, but Pakunoda stopped him. It was no use getting Hisoka to help, they decided. What kind of detective would almost give away the names of people who'd hired him?
* * * *
"What do you think you were doing!" shouted Machi.
The girls and the Detective were at the same cafe. Pakunoda ordered a cup of coffee, again, to calm herself down so that she wouldn't go kill Hisoka, and Hisoka was annoying the waitress by ordering random things that they'd never find in a cafe.
As they all knew, the investigation was going nowhere. No progress was made since they hired Hisoka. But Hisoka didn't look worried at all ---- he didn't care whether or not he'd find out what had been going on with Kuroro. The girls had given up any hope they'd ever had for Hisoka, anyway.
"Oh yeah....," chuckled the clown. "I almost forgot!"
Machi rolled her eyes. "What is it this time?"
"I have an assistant!" replied Hisoka. "I'll call him right away."
Pakunoda sweatdropped as she took another sip from her cup of coffee. He had an assistant and he'd forgotten about him all this time? What was she thinking, assuming that Hisoka had some kind of special talent in detective work....? Pakunoda shook her head as she watched Hisoka call his assistant.
After few minutes, Hisoka's assistant ---- Illumi ---- arrived. He looked around as he entered the cafe, and he headed straight to the table where Hisoka and the girls sat. "What's the case, Hisoka?" he asked. His long, silky hair waved in the air as he turned to the girls.
"Glad you could make it, Illumi....," Hisoka gave him an evil-clown smile. "Meet our clients, Paku, Machi and Shizuku...."
Pakunoda thought that anyone's detective work would have been better than Hisoka's, so she told Illumi her story. Illumi seemed to be listening carefully, though they were occasionally interrupted by Hisoka's weird laughter. When Pakunoda finished telling Illumi the story, Illumi started thinking hard. He had his hand on his chin, and his expression looked a bit more serious than usual.
The three girls watched him while they waited nervously for his conclusion. For the next moments, nothing but silence followed ---- except for Hisoka sipping his coffee.
"I've got it!" said Illumi suddenly.
"Really?!" asked the girls at the same time.
"Yup," replied Illumi. He waited for the others' attentions to turn to him. Pakunoda, Machi and Shizuku watched him closely while he waited, but Hisoka was looking somewhere else ---- he was typing stuff into his cell phone and chuckling.
Machi's eyebrow twitched. "Who cares if he's listening or not. Tell us, Illumi," she said.
"Okay," Illumi coughed to clear his throat. "Theory 1: Your Danchou Kuroro has been brainwashed!" The girls looked at him blankly. "Um....," Illumi sweatdropped. "Theory 2: The real Kuroro was kidnapped!"
"Wha....?" Shizuku looked confused. "No! It can't be! How could Danchou be kidnapped? ....wait ....who were we talking about again?"
Machi ignored her. "Well.... it's possible. Maybe the kidnapper replaced Danchou with a robot.... that explains why Danchou was wearing that pink baseball cap ---- to hide some weird antenna on the robot's head."
"But then why would he do that?" asked Pakunoda. "Why a PINK baseball cap?"
No one seemed convinced by Illumi's theories. The only way to find out what was really happening ---- ask Kuroro. It was no use thinking about these little things till their heads explode.
* * * *
"Let's try my idea first," said Machi.
They were back in the abandoned buildings, where the rest of the members were still playing some card game, and Kuroro was searching for something on the Internet. Machi walked over to him from behind. Kuroro didn't seem to notice, since he was so devoted in whatever he was doing on the computer. With a yank, Machi took off the pink baseball cap. "Sorry, Danchou!" she said.
"What the....," Kuroro covered his head with his hands quickly, but not quick enough. All the members had their attention on him ---- on his head, to be exact. His head looked so messy it seemed like he hadn't brushed his hair for months.
"No antenna?" said Machi. Kuroro looked at her weirdly, as if he was going to ask, 'what antenna?'
"Danchou....," said Shalnark, turning away from the card game. "What happened to your head?"
Kuroro brought his hands off his head. "Well.... my hair had always been difficult to handle," he explained. "So there's a particular brand of Hair Gel I use, since that's the only one that would work on my hair. But recently, that Hair Gel company ran out of business, so I can't find any more of it. I was searching for it online, to see who uses that hair gel so I can go steal from them."
Machi nodded. "So that's why you've been E-mailing people and going on the Internet....," she seemed a bit surprised by the so-called 'logical explanation' their Danchou was telling them.
Pakunoda didn't seem convinced. "But what about the pink baseball cap? Why pink?" To that, all the members' attentions turned to Kuroro once again. Some were trying hard not to laugh because of the image of the great Danchou of a robber group wearing a pink baseball cap.
"Well....," Kuroro sweatdropped. "I went to this shop to rob, but the only baseball caps they had left were pink. There were other bowler hats and top hats and even bandannas, but they were all so big ---- so I thought I'd just take one in random and leave."
"And that's exactly what happened," added Hisoka. "Fufufu...."
Pakunoda and Machi jumped in front of Hisoka right away. "You didn't do anything, you moron!"
Like always, Hisoka never missed the timing for him to say 'and that's exactly what happened'. And nothing serious happened yet Hisoka didn't manage to crack the case. As he annoyed Pakunoda, Machi and Shizuku by asking for his paycheck, he decided that this detective job was better than he thought. 'I'll go bug Gon-chan and friends again sometime,' he thought.
"You didn't solve this, Hisoka," Machi glared at him.
"Oh yes I did~," laughed Hisoka.
"What case?" asked Shizuku, still confused.
Another case solved by the Great Detective Hisoka and his Assistant Illumi ---- not! All these easy problems were solved.... now could anyone solve the problem of how-to-get-rid-of-this-lousy-detective?
** tsuzuku.... **
[As I said in the beginning, Happy Birthday, Cherrie! *glomps Cherrie* this is for you, (if you like it =P) ^^ to my other friends (or enemies, if there is any), please tell me what you think of it but don't flame, okay?]