A.N: Howdy. (Secretly, I've always wanted to say that) Anyway, yeah, so
when I first wrote this I wasn't sure how to end it, and thus, this is what
we've seen so far. . . Anyway, I've decided to write another couple of
chapters. . . This one is filled with self-reflection, self-doubt, self-
criticism, you know all that angst-type stuff. Anyway, please tell me what
u think, I hope you like the next few chapters as much as the first. . .
^__^ Oh, I apologize for this chapter being so damn long.. The last
section with Miroku and Sango was going to be in Chapter 4 but since it's
still completely under construction I figured I wouldn't torture everyone
so I tacked it on to this chapter, which is why the thing is so long. So
apologizes for that. But there is some cliffhanging stuff here too, just so
you know.. Only minor. Um, I'll try to update by the end of the week with
chapter 4, but I make no promises.. Also, there's some lemony stuff in this
chapter as well, for those who don't like that kind of thing. Kind of
became a pervert in this chapter. sorry if the lemon is a little over the
top. And once again... PLEASE REVIEW. Thanks in advance! And THANK YOU so
much for the reviews.. I really truly appreciate them. I saw them and a
huge smile spread on my face!!!!!!
"So when can we expect you back?" Inuyasha asked, walking Kagome to the well.
"In a couple of days, I have to start studying for an exam, and as you've pointed out we need some supplies", she answered, smiling slightly.
"Well, I'm telling you now, if you're not back in three days I'm going to come looking for you."
"Somehow, I don't doubt that." She gave him a little kiss before hopping over the side. "Take care of Shippou for me."
"I will."
And with that she was gone again. Inuyasha exhaled noisily. One way or another, Kagome had wormed her way into his conscious, forced herself into the forethoughts of his mind and now she was all he could focus on. What was worse of course was that she'd be gone for a couple of days. And what made things worse still was that he was now left to wonder about the future. Or rather, Kagome's future. She lived in another time, how exactly were they supposed to have a relationship, what happened once they found all the jewel shards. Questions without answers, fortunately he'd have the next three days to let them trouble his thoughts.
They were supposed to go and make sure Shippou was awake so that they could go track down Inuyasha and Kagome. But here Miroku and Sango were, caught up in the moment, forgetting everything else around them, discovering each other's lips all over again. Sango broke away from the kiss abruptly, sensing there was something approaching. Why had she left her weapon back in the clearing? What if they were in danger? She pushed Miroku out of the way, trying to pose herself to strike as something emerged from behind a group of trees. It was worse than she had first thought; it was Shippou.
"Oh, it's just you", she said, letting her breath return to her.
"There you two are, Kirara and I were wondering where you were. I thought maybe you had come back here again."
"Yeah, you found us", Miroku said, giving Sango a look.
"I woke up and got worried, I thought maybe you guys went to go look for Kagome and Inuyasha alone and forgot about us."
"No, we'd never forget you, Shippou", Sango assured him.
"Then what were you guys doing back at the stream?"
Miroku glanced at Sango. "We were bathing."
"Really? Miroku didn't you take a bath last night?"
"Yes, I did, but I woke up this morning and felt dirty." Sango immediately turned to look at him.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Sango asked, crossing her arms. Miroku could only take a quick look back wondering what in the world Sango was talking about.
"Why didn't you guys wake me up? You guys should have told me you were going to come take a bath together. I would have come, I love bathing with Kagome. I always ask Inuyasha if he wants to come but he says no. Like I always say, baths are always so much more fun with more people."
"Yes, well, I think it's best if we go find Inuyasha and Kagome now", Miroku said, walking back to where Kirara and their things were. Sango narrowed her eyes slightly.
"What's wrong, Sango? Are you and Miroku still angry at each other? What about you guys taking a bath together?" Sango looked at the kitsune. She gave him a forced smile.
"We're friends again, but sometimes he says and does things that upset me. You'll understand when you get to be a little older." Shippou looked at her, questions still on his face. "Come, let's get ready to go. Kagome and Inuyasha won't find themselves."
Inuyasha was drinking tea in Lady Kaede's hut when Sango, Shippou, Miroku and Kirara got back to the village. Inuyasha could smell them as they approached. It was good to be a hanyou again. Were Sango and Miroku speaking again, he hoped. That's all he needed for the next three days, getting caught in the middle of a war between the monk and the demon- exterminator. And Sango, there was something different about her scent. He couldn't put his finger on it, but there was definitely something altered about it.
Shippou ran into the hut, when he didn't see Kagome he immediately began to pout. "Kagome's not here! Where is she, what did you say to her this time, Inuyasha?"
"You found her didn't you?" Sango asked, eyes wide. "Tell me you found her."
"Yeah, she went back home. She's fine."
"What happened to you apologizing to her? Why did you let her leave? You're such a jerk, Inuyasha. Go back to her time and make up with her," Shippou demanded.
"For your information, she's not mad at me anymore, she went home to get supplies."
"You don't have to lie to us, Inuyasha, if you're not ready to make up with Kagome fine", Miroku piped in, sitting down on the floor.
"I'm not lying, she's not angry with me, in fact, just the opposite is true."
"The opposite? Meaning what?" Sango asked. She took a seat next to the monk. Inuyasha looked at the three sets of eyes glowering at him. He couldn't help but blush.
"Did something happen with you and Kagome?" Sango continued, noticing the sudden hint of scarlet blooming in his face.
"I'll tell you what happened. Inuyasha was being himself, a jerk. He said things a jerk would say, he acted stubborn and pig headed. He probably made Kagome cry, he continued his jerk-like manner until Kagome could not stand being verbally abused anymore and she had no other choice but to leave us", Shippou explained.
Inuyasha glared at the fox, flexing his claws, trying to remember why he couldn't pound some sense into him. But there were Kagome's words, stopping him: "Take care of Shippou for me".
"I'm not kidding Inuyasha, you're going over to the well and apologizing to Kagome so she'll come back to me."
"I don't take orders from anyone, least of all you. I already told you she went to get supplies. She's not angry with me. You can ask her when she gets back", Inuyasha explained through gritted teeth, he was straining to control himself. Didn't Shippou realize he was going to wind up with lumps all over his skull if he didn't shut up?
"How long is she going to be gone for?" Miroku asked, wanting to believe the dog demon.
"Three days."
"What supplies were so important that Kagome couldn't say good bye to us first?" Sango questioned.
"Well, in case you haven't noticed, we're out of Ramen", Inuyasha said, throwing his arms around to prove his case.
"You sent Kagome home to get you more Ramen?" Miroku asked.
"I didn't send her home."
"So you admit to arguing with her until she left", Shippou accused, standing up and pointing.
"I'm only going to warn you once, Shippou, don't test me." Inuyasha's yellowish-brown eyes immediately turned to ice.
"I still don't understand why she didn't wait for us to get back", Sango maintained.
"She would have if the three of you weren't off in the woods fucking around somewhere for the better part of the morning. Maybe next time you'll get back at a decent hour. What were you guys doing anyway?" Sango instantaneously lowered her eyes.
"Don't turn this about us, Inuyasha. Kagome would never have run off in the first place if you hadn't have fought with her", Miroku determined.
"Why is it that everyone always assumes I'm the one who starts the fights? She started it. She called me a jerk!"
"She was simply stating a fact", Shippou huffed.
"That's it!" Inuyasha yelled, lunging at the fox demon. Screw Kagome. Shippou cried out and hid behind Sango. "Get back here! Now!"
"Leave him alone, don't take your frustrations about Kagome out on him", Sango said, putting her hands up.
"What can we expect, of course he'd try to injure a poor orphan; this is the same guy who yells and screams and then sends Kagome away to get him food". Inuyasha tried to reach Shippou behind Sango's back. "Which is funny sense he gets mad when Miroku finds us free food and shelter. He's just full of contradictions. I was probably right the first time, Inuyasha simply yelled until Kagome left."
"Just wait till I grab a hold of you, Shippou", Inuyasha promised, making another attempt. Sango pushed Inuyasha back and Miroku hit him over the head with his staff.
"Why don't we all calm down. Shippou, if Inuyasha says he and Kagome are on good terms we have no choice but to believe him. When Kagome returns we can settle the matter", Miroku decided, taking charge of the situation.
"You're real lucky I'm in a good mood, Miroku", Inuyasha began, rubbing the sore spot on his head. "Otherwise there would have been a meeting. Between my claws and your face."
"Inuyasha, for once can you try and not assert your dominance over every situation", Sango said, pleading with her eyes. Flashes of Kagome forcing herself on top of him entered his mind. He could feel the warmth come to his cheeks again.
"Well, now that's over with, what are we gonna eat for lunch?" Shippou asked.
"Apparently not Ramen", Sango said under her breath, rolling her eyes.
"So you wanna get smart, huh, Sango?" Inuyasha asked. "Let me ask you a question, why didn't you guys eat before you got back? You never told me what took you so long."
Before Miroku or Sango could offer an answer Shippou explicated, "Well, I slept in, while Miroku and Sango took a bath together." Inuyasha shifted towards the two teens, eyebrows completely raised in a state of suspended animation. "Can you believe it, they didn't even wake me up. They got up early and went to the stream alone!"
"You don't say", Inuyasha said, a smirk appearing on his jaw. "You guys know how much Shippou loves bathing with others, kind of inconsiderate of you guys to take a bath without him".
"I think Shippou misunderstood what we told him", Miroku said, realizing that no amount of spiritual powers would preclude him from getting redder than a cherry.
"Well why don't you explain it to him, I think you guys really hurt his feelings, leaving the little guy by his lonesome", Inuyasha continued, the smirk only widening as the color on the two's faces continued to exhibit more colors from the red end of the spectrum.
"Sango and I went to bathe separately, I went first, Sango arrived when I was nearly done. When Shippou found us we were on our way back. We got a little delayed because we were trying to decide which way would be fastest back to the village", Miroku offered, not looking to see what Sango's reaction was.
"That's not true", Shippou said. "They did bathe together."
"Did you see them?" Inuyasha asked.
"Well, no, but when I asked Miroku why it was he took another bath when he just washed himself last night he told me he felt dirty. Sango got mad at him, and Miroku headed back to the clearing. I told Sango I thought Miroku and her had made up sense they had bathed together and she told me that they were friends again but that sometimes Miroku does things that make her angry."
"Miroku, it wasn't nice to lie to Shippou", Inuyasha continued, the smile returning.
"Shippou, Sango and I did not bathe at the same time. When Sango told you we bathed together she meant that we bathed in such a short time span from each other that it was practically at the same time. I have no idea why Sango would tell you we did. Perhaps she made up the story because she wishes to bathe with me, which wouldn't be surprising. I suppose we can chalk that up to wishful thinking."
"I never told Shippou we bathed together, you're the one who said that, Monk", Sango growled, shooting a look in his direction.
"Once again with the Monk stuff. After everything that transpired between us last night, this is what we're reduced to?"
"Do not use last night as an excuse for your behavior!"
"Last night, you mean there's more to the story?" Inuyasha interjected, relishing in the hostility. Miroku and Sango turned to look at him, seeming to suddenly remember Shippou and him were still in the hut. "Why, did you guys have another bath together?"
"I think they did, Inuyasha", Shippou said, giving the half-demon a look.
"What?" Miroku asked, exasperated, his normally collected demeanor crumbling.
"Last night Miroku hadn't returned from his bath before I feel asleep. When I woke up Sango was headed for the stream. I meant to follow them, but fell asleep before I had a chance to", Shippou explained.
"You guys left Shippou alone, twice? I must say, that's pretty irresponsible of you guys. That dirty that you had to take two baths together?"
"I have never bathed with him, nor do I have any intentions of doing so. Shippou, you misunderstood what he said when he told you we bathed together. It's not your fault, we all know what a pervert the monk is, which is probably why he told you we did so in the first place."
"I never said that we bathed together, I told Shippou we took a bath and he drew his own conclusions. Your shot that I am a pervert was entirely unnecessary, if you need a moment to collect yourself fine, but do not take your aggravation out on me, I have done nothing to warrant it."
"Let's not talk about aggravation, like the daily aggravation that you cause me when you grope me!"
"I've stopped groping you."
"You groped me this morning!"
"I wouldn't have if you hadn't called me by the name you know I dislike."
"Well maybe you should have said something, I'm not a mind-reader, how would I possibly know what you like and dislike if you keep yourself so guarded all the time, you open up to me one time and suddenly I'm supposed to know everything about you."
"So now you want to trivialize everything I told you last night?"
"I'm not trivializing anything. Do you even hear the words coming out of your mouth? You're being ridiculous, you're almost as bad as Inuyasha", Sango complained.
"Hey!"
"Leave Inuyasha out of this. This has nothing to do with us not taking a bath together this morning, and you know it."
"I never said that it did. I seem to be the only one here who wants to recognize what this is really about."
"I doubt you have any idea what this is really about", Miroku stated, giving her an unpleasing look.
"I have no idea what this is about? You're the one who tells me how things have changed between us then you demonstrate all morning and now how nothing has changed, how you are still the same person you were before last night. What ever made me think that what you were telling me meant something to you, that you didn't simply say what ever you thought I wanted to hear."
"If anyone is acting in a manner contrary to what they said last night it is you, Sango. I'm trying to have an actual conversation with you, but you apparently must have some self-doubt because you're turning this situation into a melodrama. One cannot hope to know another when one does not know herself first."
"Does anyone else hear this? I have no idea what the monk is trying to tell me, because he's speaking in codes again. He thinks I'm supposed to jump through hoops because he finally decides he wants to tell me the truth about himself, after who knows how long. Forgive me for not being impressed with you, Monk."
"So it's come to this. If this is the way you want it, then that is your choice, Sango." He narrowed his eyes at her, giving her the coldest of looks. Miroku was livid. Shippou and Inuyasha could only look at each other in sheer astonishment, neither had ever seen Miroku angry at anyone other than an enemy, and even then it was managed anger. He was never upset with anyone in the group, least of all Sango. "Is that all I am to you, 'the monk'?"
"That and 'the pervert'", she answered, frigidly.
Miroku met Sango's eyes. His look was bloodcurdling. Shippou hid on Inuyasha's shoulder, the fox boy half expected Miroku to unleash a fury equal to his wind tunnel.
"Sango, I regret that I broke my promise last night." His voice was even; he pronounced each word carefully. "It's obvious now that I made it for a reason. I see at present that it was foolish of me to give into an unnecessary temptation, when it is clear that I have squandered my time on something that is now so evidently meaningless."
"Meaningless. That's a good word for it." Sango stood up and left the hut. Shippou and Inuyasha looked back at Miroku in unison.
"I apologize for forcing you to witness that, Friends, it was rude of us to subject you to our problems. If you'll excuse me, I need some air." He stood up and headed out of the hut in the opposite direction.
"Inuyasha, what just happened?" Shippou asked.
"I don't know", he answered, his eyes not leaving the hut's entrance.
"You think while Miroku is out getting air he'll talk to Sango?"
"I think they need to be alone right now."
"This isn't my fault is it?" Shippou's eyes looked at Inuyasha for approval.
"No." He turned to look at him. "This has nothing to do with you. You're just a kid, you're too young to understand."
Shippou jumped to the ground, and turned so that he was facing Inuyasha. "I'm not that young, I could understand if someone explained it to me."
"When you get older things get more complicated. Miroku and Sango have a lot to deal with, without the added stress of each other."
"Inuyasha", Shippou said, snuggling up to him.
"Yeah?"
"I wish Kagome were here."
"You and me both, Kiddo. You and me both."
While she was still in a good mood, Kagome went to the grocery store to pick up some medicine and some Ramen. She picked out a couple of new flavors, trying to decide whether or not Inuyasha would like Spicy Shrimp or Cajun Style. What if he were allergic? Even so, he was a half-demon, he'd heal anyway. She smiled to herself, imaging the look on his face when Kagome presented him with the variety pack she was going to buy.
The silliest things excited her. She was getting all giggly over noodles, didn't anyone else see something odd about that? It didn't matter. In a couple of days she'd be back to see him. Him. One word that resonated to her very soul. He had found away to invade her thoughts since the moment she saw him bound to that tree. And now, she didn't think she'd ever be able to think about anything with out thinking about him again. What a strange predicament. She was being silly.
Sango was half way to the river before she stopped running. He's not following you, she told herself. Of course he wasn't, there was no reason for him to. She didn't want him to, everything he wanted to say he had stated plainly. She was an unnecessary temptation to him, that was all. And he was a monk and a pervert. There was nothing left to think about, so she would think about something else. Someone else. Kagome. She wondered what strange things she was doing in the future. Kagome traveling to another time always amazed her, to think that when Kagome went home she was in an era where Sango was already dead.
Hopefully she'd return in three days like Inuyasha said she would, she needed to talk to someone. Usually she'd talk to the monk about things like this.
"Is that all I am to you, 'the monk'?"
"That and 'the pervert'."
Why, why in Hell had she said that! She wanted to hurt him, why, he hadn't deserved it, she hadn't meant it, he was everything to her. Visions of her worst nightmare resurfaced again, Kohaku slaying Miroku. What had made her tell him he was nothing to her? Well, she hadn't said that, not in so many words. . .
"She's never told you if she loved you?"
"No."
"Not even in so many words?"
She said she wasn't going to think about it, so she wasn't going to think about it. It was over now. It was water under the bridge.
"Do you need help washing your back, Sango?"
"Why is it I think you want to help me wash more than my back?"
"I am hurt that you would harbor these suspicions about me. That being said, is there somewhere else I can help you wash?"
They had just exchanged that happy dialogue this morning. And last night, last night had been so wonderful on so many multiple levels. Nothing had compared to the openness they shared with each other.
"But what of Kagome? I don't see you groping her?"
"Yes, that's true. I don't grope Kagome. But Kagome isn't in love with me, is she Sango?"
Why had she gotten angry with him? Inuyasha and Shippou were inconsequential, so they thought they bathed together, better that then the naughty things they had engaged in last night. Maybe that was it, the root of the entire thing. She wanted Miroku, she wanted him to touch her, to make her feel like she had, the feeling of dissolving into him. But what had she just thought? Naughty. As in wrong, maybe subconsciously her mind told her it was wrong and that was why she fought with him.
What had happened to her loved ones, they had died. To love someone again, to open herself to that again, what if he died too? And especially because it was Miroku. Bad enough they battled demons on a regular basis, battled Naraku on a regular basis. But he had a hole in his right hand, he was fated. "It would be her choice to be with a predestined man." And maybe that was the right choice. She cared for him. She had meant what she said to him, she would embrace him for as long as they had, and she certainly wouldn't let Naraku take him from her.
And Gods! He loved her, he loved her! She believed it, there was no doubt in her mind. "I love you, Sango. I've loved you since we first met. I wonder is it even remotely possible that you could love me too." What was she doing? Why was she so content on being melancholic, on being miserable! Why? Hadn't she suffered enough? But as soon as she let herself be happy again, something would happen, wouldn't it? As soon as she let her guard down darkness would fall.
But no, he made her so happy, and last night, it was as if she was reborn. She longed for him, but knew how incredibly empty she'd feel if he died. Was that better than this? She was weeping. What was she going to do? What happened to her not thinking about it?
Shippou had trotted off to find Lady Kaede, giving Inuyasha time alone with his thoughts. He couldn't help but think that Kagome would know what to do in a situation like this. Kagome. His world's happiness wrapped up in her. No, he wasn't thinking about Kagome. He was supposed to be trying to figure out what was going on between Sango and Miroku. How had things between them gotten so bad?
Okay, apparently something had happened between them last night. Sango had yelled at Miroku not to use last night as an excuse for his behavior. So perhaps they had made up. But Sango complained that Miroku groped her. And Miroku said he regretted breaking his promise. Hum, this was puzzling. And what was the deal with the bathing thing? Even if they had not bathed together they had certainly gone off in the woods alone twice, once late at night, and once early in the morning. What would Kagome think of all this?
What had she said about them? One day they'd stop all the games and get together. Nothing seemed further. This was getting him nowhere. Dammit! He wouldn't normally give a flying fuck about their argument but he knew that if they didn't make amends soon it was going to get more and more difficult hunting for jewel shards with a fractured team. He knew better than anyone how disruptive a disagreement was, he and Kagome had certainly had enough of them. Every time she went home they had to wait a couple of days before things cooled down before they could go on. This thing between the monk and Sango was taking on a life of it's own.
Miroku was pretending to meditate. To the untrained eye it appeared that he was engrossed in contemplation allowing him to spend the better part of the day without Inuyasha or Shippou bothering him or asking any questions. Lady Kaede, however, knew better and decided to speak to him when she finished her errands. She approached him and stated flatly, "Ye should know better than anyone, Monk, that one cannot meditate when one's mind is not at rest."
He didn't look at her, trying to keep his act up. "Shippou told me that Sango and ye exchanged words." He gave in, opening his eyes, and dropping his arms.
"I had hoped sitting like this and adding a few well placed hums would have thrown you off", Miroku said, watching Kaede sit next to him.
"Even without Shippou's account your face is marked with confliction."
"That I suppose is due to the fact that I am deeply conflicted."
"That is the first step, acknowledgment."
"Knowing what the problem is does not solve it. I have lived my life up until last night on a path, and now I find myself diverged from it, unable to find a way back."
"Perhaps that is because ye were not meant to travel that path, Monk. Or perhaps this path was only meant to lead ye to last night."
"How would I know?"
"The answer will come to ye when ye are not looking for it."
"Last night I opened my soul to Sango, and today I've never felt so alone."
"Kagome has told me that ye prefer solitude to company. I wonder is that because ye are afraid of what will happen tomorrow?"
"I have accepted my destiny, Lady Kaede."
"I wonder, have ye let others accept your destiny?" He looked at her suddenly, his heart fluttering.
"I don't know what you mean."
"When ye opened to Sango ye received a reaction that was pleasing?"
"Yes. Well, last night I did. I fear today she wants to recant what she has told me."
"Why did ye not open to Sango before? For fear she would recant?"
"No. I did not want to burden her with my problems. I suppose I also feared she wouldn't open herself up to me in return. I guess it all comes down to the fact that I did not want to cause her anymore pain because she has endured enough."
"With the deaths of her father and brother?"
"Yes."
"Perhaps that is why she gave ye a different reaction this morning."
"But she. . . I told her that she did not have to put herself out there for me". He looked at his hand, not wanting to make eye contact with Kaede. "I insisted that I did not want to hurt her. She was the one who said that it was her decision to make. Why would she say one thing last night and now change her mind?"
"Perhaps she did not want to hurt ye either, Monk. Tell me, what makes ye so sure she does not still mean what she told ye last night?"
"Even if she did, I cannot. . . it doesn't matter any longer. I know where the path is. I will follow it. Sango was simply a detour." Miroku stood up, resolved. They would always have that moment by the riverbank. But that would be where their story would end.
"She may be a detour, but I suggest ye carefully examine whether or not this path of yours leads to a dead end". Miroku didn't stop to look at her. "Ask her if she was serious when she said she loved ye." Miroku froze solid, not knowing how he managed to turn his head around so that he was looking back at Lady Kaede. He stood, mouth agape. "Your mind will never have peace if ye do not know once and for all."
It felt weird to sit with Eri, Yuka, and Ayumi in a booth at her old stomping grounds. It was different, but different in a good way, for once her mind wasn't focused on what stupid, horrible, immature thing a certain hanyou had recently done. Instead her mind wandered to how wonderful everything was going to be. Was she going to have a pet name for him? What would she tell Sango? She had to leave before the others returned to the village, she wanted the couple of days to separate her feelings before they said anything to them. Were they going to tell them that they were done playing stupid games, that the moonless night had been just what the doctor ordered to fix her bleak, non-existent love life? She sighed, so many new things to over- analyze in the privacy of her head.
"We were beginning to worry about you, we called and your grandfather told us your shin splints were flaring up again", Eri said, sipping soda from her straw.
"Yeah, those darn shin splints", Kagome answered, not meeting her eyes, but rather continuing her staring out of the window.
"Okay, what's going on now?" Yuka asked, waving her hand in front of Kagome's face.
She snapped out of it. "Huh?"
"We see that dreamy, glazed look on your face, what happened?" Yuka persisted.
"Nothing's happened."
"I bet you it has something to do with her secret boyfriend", Ayumi proclaimed, happy with herself for figuring it out first.
"That's fairly obvious. My question is what happened", Yuka said, giving her a look.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Don't play dumb with us, spill it!" Eri insisted. "You guys were fooling around, weren't you?"
Kagome shook her head, hoping no one would notice her facial expression. "It's written all over your face, stop denying it", Yuka continued.
"Hey, what about that other girl he was interested in? Does this mean she's out of the picture?" Ayumi chimed.
"Yeah is she, unless you guys made it a threesome", Yuka joked.
"No, it was nothing like that. I won't have to worry about her anymore though", Kagome finally answered, knowing full well that if she didn't at least answer one of their questions they were going to bug her until she accidentally confessed everything.
"Where's Sango?" Shippou asked, the sun wanted to set, Shippou could only hope it would wait until Sango returned.
Inuyasha sniffed the air. Her scent was growing more distant. Where was Sango headed? And stupid Miroku had sat on the ground chanting all day, he wouldn't answer when Inuyasha asked if he had spoken to her or not. "I don't know where she's headed. I hope she has Kirara with her at least."
"Inuyasha, I'm worried, you should go find her."
"She's a grown-ass woman, she'll come back when she's ready."
"Or we'll never see her again because she'll be attacked by something and killed."
"Will you stop with the dramatics, I'm sure she'll return before night fall."
"Inuyasha, please!" Inuyasha sighed loudly, thoroughly annoyed. But he told Kagome he'd take care of Shippou. He sniffed at the air again. Her scent was getting further and further. Maybe she wouldn't get back before it got late. Kagome had been lucky last night, but there was always something lurking in the woods after dark.
"I'll go find her", he said, "stay here with Kaede, if I'm not back by the time the moon is completely out tell Miroku." He dashed off, not noticing Shippou's nod.
No more Kikyo, Kagome thought, getting home around 9. Well, she supposed, Kikyo would always be a part of Inuyasha's life, after all, there were reminders of the miko everywhere. Everything from Naraku to Lady Kaede served as a constant remembrance, lest anyone forget what happened 50 years ago. And indeed, Kagome felt sorry for her, after all, she was just as much of a victim of Naraku's plot as Inuyasha had been. Kikyo was the perfect tragic figure, it was wrong not to mourn and feel sorry for her. Still. . .
She hated herself for admitting it, but truth be told, from the moment of her return Kagome had wanted nothing more in the world then for Kikyo to return to Hell. It didn't even have to be Hell, just as long as she no longer roamed the Earth. It was vexing enough to constantly be compared to the priestess in beauty, spiritual powers, fighting ability, purity. But to be forced to chase a ghost, literally, to have to measure up to someone that could shoot Inuyasha through the heart, pin him to a tree, attempt to drag him to the fiery underworld time and time again, help Naraku gather jewel shards and still warrant the half-demon's full and complete empathy and love made her skin crawl.
Even after the events between them last night, did she even hold a candle to Kikyo? How in Gods name was she ever supposed to replace her as the one and only in Inuyasha's heart? He dreamed about her, spent sleepless nights asking the stars where his Kikyo was. What was last night about? He probably needed to cum. He was horny, he only said those things to her to get her to go along with it.
No, no, he loved her, he did. You could see it in his eyes. Or was it simply something she thought she saw, that she wanted to believe so badly. Dammit! Why did Kikyo have to come back and bring his heart with her? No, Kikyo was history, he was going to let her go, he had too. She had to stop overreacting. It was over between them. That look of sadness as she dropped back through the well proved it. Of course it did.
The bright lights of Kikyo's soul-gatherers frightened Sango at first, before she had a chance to really see what it was that was illuminating the darkened way in front of her. Hum, she thought, 50 years ago Inuyasha was prepared to make the ultimate sacrifice for his love, Kikyo. And what of herself? Loving Miroku was a sacrifice, something that happened to her against her will. She had never wanted to love him. She never asked to fall in love with a destined man. No one asked her if she even liked him.
Kirara met Sango's eyes again, asking in her own silent way what was wrong with the demon-exterminator. You wouldn't understand, Sango answered her, letting her eyes do the talking. She supposed talking to Kirara was better than keeping to herself. If only Kagome were here, or if Lady Kaede hadn't walked over to Miroku at the exact moment she had gotten up the courage to speak with her.
If the world came crashing down right now, she couldn't help but wonder if he'd even notice she was here. Oh, how she longed to ask for forgiveness and hold back her tears. Where was her solace? The light at the end of the darkness? It only broke her heart to be standing alone waiting for him to come back to her. Maybe he was waiting for her, but she was too afraid to show him that she missed him, needed him, without him she was stranded in a black tidal wave. Drowning.
And Inuyasha watching her wasn't helping anything. What he didn't seem to understand was that she had gotten so used to him being there she could sense him. She could practically feel him now. She had been waiting for him, she had actually expected him sooner. It didn't take a genius to figure out that he'd pick up her scent and wonder what she was doing so far from the village. He'd ask her what was going on with Miroku, that was obvious, no common sense required to draw that conclusion. She finally just gave up, standing perfectly still, waiting for the half-demon to approach her and get the inevitable over with.
Seeming to get the hint, Inuyasha jumped in front of her, and lifted his eyebrows. "How long did you know I was there?" he asked, getting the formalities out of the way first.
"Long enough."
"Second time in two nights I've come looking in the woods for someone who's run off, but this time I'm pretty sure I'm not the reason why. You wanna talk about it?"
"Not particularly."
"Don't give me that I- needed- some- time -to -think- alone crap. Shouldn't you be thinking in the safety of the village?"
"Shouldn't you be chasing down Kikyo?" If she had seen the soul-gatherers, he must have also.
"Very feisty today, Sango. I'll let that one slide, but you only get so many cheap shots before I get angry with you." He leaned himself against a tree, a smug look on his face.
"I'll try and remember that."
"So where were you going?"
"Nowhere, I was planning on walking until I knew what to do."
"Well, you've gotten pretty far, I'd say it's time to figure it out."
"It isn't that simple", Sango explained with a long sigh.
"Nothing worth anything ever is." Sango felt her face get a little warm. "Look, this is really beginning to take its toll on you guys. If something were to happen right now, attack us, I don't think either of you would be able to defend yourselves, you're that distracted. I'm not going to pretend I have any idea what's been going on between you, but nothing can be beyond talking to each other about it."
"I don't know about that, Inuyasha."
"Sango, did Miroku hurt you?" He was suddenly very serious, so much so that it scared her.
She let his question marinate for a while. Finally she answered, "I suppose no more than I hurt him."
"Miroku, Miroku!" Shippou was running at full speed, reaching him completely out of breath.
"What's wrong?"
"She's gone, Sango's gone." Miroku's heart collapsed. Gone? "She disappeared. Inuyasha went to look for her, but what if he doesn't find her, Miroku? What if we never see her again?"
"She's fine", Miroku declared, trying to hide the terror that lurked behind his eyes.
"How come Inuyasha and Sango aren't back yet then? It's so dark outside, Miroku."
"If it'll make you feel better, Shippou I will find Sango for you." Miroku said, standing up. A day in a meditating pose hadn't done his body good.
"You can find Inuyasha for me. We both know you're finding Sango for yourself." Miroku didn't look at Shippou, only stiffened a little at his comment.
That was it! She slammed her book closed. She could study this stuff three ways from Sunday, it didn't change the fact that she wouldn't be ready for her exam. She'd be better off going into the exam cold. Her brother was going to be right, in a few years they'd be in the same grade. She was going to fail miserably, and that was fine. She could deal with it. Maybe she'd leave after the test, she had a feeling she was going to be feeling sick anyway. Grandpa could write her a doctor's note. Maybe after she left school she'd pack to go back through the well.
Why wait until tomorrow, she'd pack tonight. This day had been so long, all she wanted was to see her friends again. She missed them already. And she hadn't stopped to say goodbye to Sango, Miroku or Shippou before she had left. And Gods, she couldn't wait to hold Inuyasha again. That's it, tomorrow, after 2nd period she was going back.
Miroku didn't get very far before he ran into Sango, Kirara, and Inuyasha. "Shippou sent you?" Inuyasha asked, it coming out as a fact more than a question.
"Yes, the little guy insisted I make sure you two returned safe and sound", Miroku answered, his eyes landing on Sango's face. Sango caught his gaze, her expression placid, her guard up.
Even Inuyasha could sense the tension. "Who's taking care of Shippou while you've come to rescue us?" he asked, trying to create an out for himself.
"He's in the village, he's safe."
"Famous last fucking words, Miroku. A centipede could be devouring him as we speak. Once again with this irresponsible conduct, leaving the kid unaccompanied." Inuyasha was already gathering Kirara up in his arms. "Come on Kirara, it looks like it's up to us to look after him." Kirara made no objection as Inuyasha carried her off with him.
"I don't think he could have been any more obvious if he had wanted to", Sango decided, looking at the monk. If she kept up the small talk maybe they wouldn't get to a certain conversation topic.
"I'm half surprised he actually found you. The way Shippou was carrying on, I had you for dead."
"Hum, interesting prospect, especially since there are soul-catchers in the area. I can feel her aura. She's very close by."
"She?" Miroku asked.
"Kikyo, Inuyasha's great love."
"I don't know about that, Inuyasha's heart isn't free to love Kikyo completely."
"I hardly think Inuyasha's heart is free to love Kagome completely either. He must make a choice once and for all."
"Making choices is easier said then done, Sango. Or rather, living with your choices is easier said than done." Miroku was scrutinizing her movements. It was clear she was getting uncomfortable with the direction the dialogue was headed.
"Yes, but living with choices also requires having some assurance that one has indeed made the right choice."
"And the right choice for Inuyasha would be?"
"Kagome."
"Even though Kikyo was his first love? Even though it was she who first taught him to love?" Miroku asked.
"She also taught him to hate. Yes, it was Naraku who set them against each other 50 years ago, but her feelings for him now are tainted with her malice. Besides, looking at it in terms of simple logic, Inuyasha cannot be with Kikyo in this lifetime, he would have to die with her, which is a sacrifice that anyone who truly loved Inuyasha would not let him make."
"So you are saying that for a person to truly love someone they would not ask their love to forfeit their life." Miroku turned from her then, feeling suddenly cold.
"Kikyo and Inuyasha are a special case. Kikyo is not among the living. It is selfish of Kikyo to demand Inuyasha give up his life for her."
"Kikyo cannot live again. If Inuyasha truly loved her in return wouldn't he die for her?"
"Inuyasha truly loves Kagome", Sango answered.
"Hypothetically, if Kagome were not a factor. Wouldn't Inuyasha's refusal to give up his life for Kikyo mean he did not in fact love her? To die for the person you love, to risk everything and make the ultimate sacrifice, is that not love?"
"And what of Kikyo's request? Asking someone to follow you into death? To jeopardize everything you have for the other? To expect your supposed love to forgo their future happiness, to leave all that they hold dearest to them? Is that what love is?"
"What is love then, Sango? How would you define it?"
"Love is not something that can be defined in mere words, Monk. It is in actions. It lives in moments, it's wrapped up in everything that is right with the world."
"And then you complain that I speak in codes." They looked at each other. Curiously, this conversation was going easier than last night's.
"It is not love that causes the world's problems", she continued. "It is the emotions that come with it. Mistrust, jealousy, hate. These things infect love. It is easy to love someone, it happens without you even knowing it. But to trust your love, to not be jealous when he or she looks on another, to not let your jealously and suspicion turn to hate, that is difficult."
"What of warmth, conviction, lust, these also come with love, Sango."
"So does anger, betrayal, cruelty." She crossed her arms over her chest.
"As do contentment, faith, completeness. They all come bundled up with love. No one lives happily ever after. No one knows what will happen tomorrow. But holding fast to someone, loving them with everything you are is one way to overcome the unknown future, even when it leads to death."
"Death. Yes, that's it exactly. Kikyo met a tragic end. What kind of person would then subject their true love to the same fate? How does someone find completeness, warmth, compassion, all these lovely adjectives in dying?"
"You find this by dying knowing that you were loved. Kikyo never had that, she died thinking she was betrayed and her soul is restless because of this. Dying knowing that that one thing in your life was true, that makes all the difference."
"I only wish I could be as sure as you are, Monk." She looked at him desolately, not knowing whether she wanted to run away or cry terribly or kiss him or simply die.
"It is often difficult to open your heart", Miroku avowed.
"Such a tired cliché."
"Here is another trite overused phrase then, Sango: the heart wants what the heart wants."
"Overused indeed, if I didn't know you any better I'd guess you were trying to be a poet."
"Then I will cease with the pleasantries and get to the point."
"That would be nice, I'm beginning to think you're about to slip into verse."
"I am unaware of how it happened, but in one instant I found myself in love with you. I ask you for nothing in return, but the truth, so that I can have peace. Are you in love with me? Truthfully?"
Shippou couldn't sleep, but he tried, really tried. Shut his eyes as tightly as he could, but he couldn't fall asleep. This was the second night Miroku and Sango were off alone somewhere. And before he knew it, Inuyasha was dashing off into the nighttime. To where? Who knew. Maybe he was looking for Miroku and Sango, Shippou decided he'd get up and follow him. It was better than sleeping in the hut worrying.
Didn't they know that he was anxious and troubled about them when they were gone? Why would they leave him alone when they thought he was asleep? Inuyasha was fast, if he didn't hurry, he'd probably lose him. It was so dark outside, except for those strange familiar glowing lights ducking in and out of the trees. He had seen them before, but he couldn't remember when, or what they were.
He got closer to them, curiosity winning out over fear, soon he could hear Inuyasha's voice. He was talking to someone. Who was it? It looked like Kagome, Shippou walked faster. Wait, no, it wasn't Kagome, it only looked like her. Was that? No it couldn't be, but it was. It was Kikyo. Then those lights must have been her soul-collectors. Why Inuyasha? Why are you with her, what about Kagome? Shippou demanded wordlessly. He couldn't watch. Where was Kagome?
"You have been standing here. Please, tell me, I must know. Are my feelings unrequited?" Miroku analyzed his counterpart's face, trying to figure out if she was going to reveal anything.
"Last night you told me it would do you no good to know. In the end we can never be together", Sango answered, matter-of-factly.
"Then last night?"
"A moment we will always have. I believe you, Monk. You do not mean to hurt me. You did not release yourself in me because you did not want to bind us together."
"So the answer is no, you do not return my feelings."
"The answer is that it is better you don't know."
"It is only better for you, Sango."
"Huh?"
"You cannot tell me directly because you are afraid of your answer. But I know it.it is in your eyes, in your voice."
"What do they say, Monk?" Sango inquired, eyes looking down at the thought that she was so transparent to him.
"They say no." She tried not to flinch as her eyes shot up. "I must admit that I lied to you before, Sango. Last night was not meaningless to me, and you were not an unnecessary temptation. I will forever thank the Gods for allowing me one moment with my love." She could only remain standing there in her fixated state, her heart splintering sharply. "Let us go back to the village. Shippou never gets much sleep when we are not by his side."
"That's it? It's over? Don't you have anything left to say?"
"No."
"It can't end like this!" Desperation invading her voice.
"It has." His voice full of disillusionment.
"No!" Tears stinging at her eyes, she was too upset to do something about it.
"I asked you a simple question. You avoided the answer, I can only draw one conclusion as to why." He was walking towards her, Sango backed up until she hit the tree Inuyasha had leaned against. "At least have the decency to tell me straight to my face, using my birth name."
"Monk. . ." She refused to meet his eyes. "Miroku, I. . ."
"Say it, Sango. Look into my eyes and say it."
She was wiping tears away. "Why do you want me to say it?"
"So I can have peace. Say it. Say 'Miroku, I do not love you'."
"Miroku. . .I do not love you." Her tears turning to rivulets. He was walking closer still. She was trapped, her back pressing into the tree, tearing at her clothing.
"You didn't look me in the eyes, Sango." She sniffled. "Please. Look at me."
She shook her head negatively. Her chest heaving as she tried to get herself under control. Somehow, he lessened the space between them again. He positioned his forefinger and thumb under her chin, lifting her head slightly. She met his eyes, albeit, against her will. Miroku kept the same nonchalant demeanor, as if he caused women to asphyxiate on a regular basis.
Her words choking her as she spoke between soft sobs, "Stop it. I told you what you wanted to hear."
"Tell me again."
"Why?"
"Because if you're going to lie to me I wish it to be directly to my face."
"I wasn't lying."
"You were." She shook her head, Miroku still not letting go of the side of her chin.
"Prove me wrong then", he demanded.
"You said we can't be together. And all your promises have gotten us right here, because you cannot promise me the one thing I need the most." She could barely put together words.
"What is that promise, Sango?" he asked, his eyes boring into her so hard she imagined they could see right through her, to her very soul.
"You cannot promise me that you won't die! That you won't get yourself killed by Naraku or your wind tunnel."
"No, I cannot promise you that. Eventually I will die, Sango. We all will."
"You know what I mean."
"Indeed. I will not promise you that. But I can promise you something else." She could only look at him, her tear streaked face still in his hand.
"I promise you will be the first thing I think about when I wake up, and the last thing I think about when I go to sleep. I promise to long for you when you are not near me. I promise to be blinded when I see you. I promise to tremble when your hand meets mine. I promise to get that bubbly feeling in the pit of my stomach when I kiss you. I promise to feel weightless when I touch you. I promise to stay in love with you every second of every day."
She shuddered frenziedly. "This is all I have to give." She gave him no verbal response. "Well? Is it enough?"
"I can't get away from you," her voice suddenly serious, strength returning to it.
"What?"
"My mind and heart are no longer my own. I've tried to get away, but you have me a captive. And somehow you're also my release. I love you, Miroku." The corners of his mouth began to curl.
He bent forward, joining their lips. He waited for her to part her mouth long enough for him to invite her tongue out to play with his. She did. The kiss grew more aggressive, their tongues commingling. Finally he stopped, inhaling a much needed breath.
"Are you getting that bubbly feeling?" she asked. She was falling all over again.
"Yes, yes I am." He pulled away, taking her with him so that her back was no longer smashing into the tree.
"Miroku, it's like, I don't know. I'm a different person around you. Everything about me is exposed. All my passions, all my inhibitions are staring out at you."
"Hum." Another smile forming on his lips. "I'm not sure I know what you mean."
"You do. It's like I'm naked with you."
"I don't know if I actually understand what you're saying. Sango, perhaps we need a visual aid." That mischievous look in his eye made the blood rush to her face. He reached for her kimono.
"Here? In the woods?"
"It was fine last night."
"That was different, we were in a secluded clearing."
"We're at least two miles from the village."
"Kikyo's around."
"Let her watch." She slapped him. Feeling a little bad about it once she had.
"Every time we take one step forward we take two steps back", Miroku grumbled, rubbing his already sore cheek.
"In love there is no holding back." He looked at her out of the corner of his eye. She smiled to herself.
"I don't want to hold back either." He kissed her. It immediately deepened. She moved.
"Not here."
He nodded, trying to conceal the lust in his eyes. "Yes, not here. As you wish. I just want to hold you. Then I'll be contented." They hugged. She closed her eyes. How safe and warm she felt. How long had it taken them to get to this point. But it was all worth it. They were here now. She wanted him to save her. She wanted to find salvation with him.
"I love you", he whispered in her ear, beginning to suck at her ear lobe. Before she could react he was at her neck. Reminding her how last night's activities had begun. She moaned.
"Miroku, what are you doing?" His kiss answered her. If he didn't stop she'd have more red marks. "You lecher, you told me holding me would leave you contented."
He stopped, to her unvoiced chagrin. "I am contented with only holding you. But I don't think you are." He began on her neck again. That tingling feeling was returning between her legs. Damn him. Didn't he know what he did to her? That was the problem, she thought. It wasn't that he didn't know. The problem was, he did. There was no way she was going to be able to hold out again.
"I hate when you do this to me", Sango said, tracing her fingers through his hair.
"Are you getting that bubbly feeling too?" he asked, teasing her.
"Shut up, Monk."
"Do I have to teach you another lesson about calling me that?" She moaned harder as he continued the brutal attack on her neck.
"If we're going to do something fine. But you will not tease me."
He stopped long enough to look at her. "You presume to tell me what we're doing?"
"Don't get slapped again, Monk", she hissed.
"So fresh, Sango. Yes, I think it is time for me to teach you some manners." He had her back against the tree before she could bat an eyelash. She was reaching for him, trying to loosen his robs. The spot between her legs was throbbing already.
She began pulling forcibly, he grabbed her arms. "See, this is what I'm talking about, Sango. All that pent up aggression. But I will help you release it."
She struggled to get free. "You're really starting to get me angry. I told you not to tease me." She got her hands free.
"I'm trying to help you, Sango. You must learn to be patient."
"Monk, I'm only going to tell you once more, you will not tease me this time." She yanked until his chest was exposed to her.
He shook his head and sighed. "You leave me no choice now. I'm going to have to use tough love." He peeled her clothing out of the way, letting it drop to her ankles. Without another word he had her arms securely pinned above, her skin scraping at the bark. Swiftly he parted her legs with his feet and placed two fingers inside of her.
"Gods!" she cried out. Her body was rattling.
That look in his eyes, that arrogance that made her so angry, but turned her on at the same time. His lips asserted his dominance as he leisurely pressed them on her collarbone. It was like he had her under a spell. She could only whimper as he whispered into her ear, his warm breath tickling the hairs tucked behind her lobe. "Mmmm, I think I may be enjoying this lesson more than you are, Sango."
He shifted a little so that he could look her in the eyes. He continued his motions and got an "ahhhhhhh" in response. "Don't, I can't take it. Now, now!" Her words slurred together as he slowly stroked her, continuing to move those two fingers in and out. She was writhing against him, hitting the tree with each thrust.
"Please", Miroku corrected, not bothering to hurry his slow pace.
"Damn it, Monk. Please!"
Her body tensed again as he gave her a kiss. Without thinking about it, he added a third finger. She moaned against his mouth. And shuttered. He trailed the kiss back to her ear. Her heart skipped.
"My name is Miroku", he reminded her, breathing into her ear again.
"I know, I'm sorry".
"Say it. Say my name, Sango."
"Miroku. . ." I came out in a half cry as he quickened his movements. "Miroku!" He was killing her softly.
"Please, Miroku", he marked.
"Please, Miroku!" she growled in return.
"Please what?"
"Please, Miroku, take me." He smiled again.
"I will, when it's time. I promise."
"I promise I will murder you once I get free!" She screamed louder as he entered her with a fourth digit. "Ahh, ahh, ahh, ah.." She had another orgasm. If he kept this up her eyes were going to roll behind her head.
"Release that frustration, Sango. Let it go." His voice came out breathy, his words tickling the spot on her neck he had besieged so many times before. She jumped a little more. The fingers didn't cease as Miroku grabbed her bottom lip with his, kissing her. It felt like burning, she was so hot. Damn him, damn him.
He broke the kiss when his lungs were completely out of air. He pulled his fingers out of his willing victim, his eyes not leaving hers. The night breeze hit the spot bringing a new sensation. That smug look on his face, he was really taking pleasure in his torment. He brought the hand up, rubbing his fingers together; they slipped against each other effortlessly.
"No, not yet." She couldn't stand it anymore. With her last bit of strength she pushed with all her might, managing to get an arm free. She tore at him, getting his robes the rest of the way down. She twisted trying to get the other hand free, as she fought with him.
They continued to struggle. Finally, Miroku spun her back around, slamming her into the tree. In a normal situation, Sango would have slain the monk, but that part of her that loved to fight with him this way had taken over long ago. In the end, they both knew she'd let him win. Not that Miroku couldn't put up a good fight, of course.
He stuck his fingers back into the aching, enlivening her thoughts back to the incredible heat that was making it impossible to focus. She whimpered defeated as he got the upper hand again, positing her against the tree, arms firmly pinned, his member poking at her. "And we were making such progress too, but no, Sango, you continue to fight me. I didn't want to have to punish you."
He began his nerve wreaking assault on her breasts. Sango leaned into him, feeling his penis on her abdomen. She couldn't move, she was too exhausted to struggle much as he sucked her nipple into such a painful erection she thought it was going to break off. "Miroku. . . I can't. . . I can't. . ." her voice deepened, her mouth agape, sweat pouring from her hairline.
"Shhhhh. Do not worry. I won't break my promise. I think it's almost time." He moved to the sister breast, teasing and sucking and kissing and licking. She was too gone to make coherent speech, but her body's response was quite clear.
Miroku watched the orgasm take its effect. She was losing it, really losing it. Watching her in complete ecstasy was taking its toll on him. He touched her and she screamed again. The more she responded to him the harder his erection got. This was it.
She got enough clarity to ask him, "Miroku, please take me."
"Yes, I think you've learned your lesson." Without any other warning he pushed himself completely inside, he pulled himself almost all the way out, leaving the tip inside her, before he forced himself back in. Sango lifted her leg and wrapped it around his hip. He let her arms free so she could wrap them around his neck.
He lifted her other leg off the ground, securing her with his arms. In and out, in and out, slowly, but steadily. He took two steps back so that she would not hit the tree with each insertion. She was kissing him uncompromisingly. He could barely stay focused as he drove in faster.
"Harder, harder", she demanded, her crazed eyes glaring at him. Their rhythm now established he complied. She moved with him, their bodies moving like a well- oiled machine. She was pushing him, he could barely stay standing up. Her bosom bounced playfully at him, he grabbed hold of a nipple, as she came. He put her down, their bodies still joined. Feeling her tighten around his hardness caused him to lose it. He pulled out, his essence shooting out in torrents. Some splattered on Sango's leg.
Miroku dropped to the ground, hardly able to stay seated in an upright position. Sango dropped to her knees in front of him. She took four fingers and wiped his seed off of her thigh. She ritualistically rubbed the fingers together and looked at him. "Next time, Miroku, you will be made to pay for your torture".
"We shall see about that", he answered, lying back. She collapsed on top of him.
"So when can we expect you back?" Inuyasha asked, walking Kagome to the well.
"In a couple of days, I have to start studying for an exam, and as you've pointed out we need some supplies", she answered, smiling slightly.
"Well, I'm telling you now, if you're not back in three days I'm going to come looking for you."
"Somehow, I don't doubt that." She gave him a little kiss before hopping over the side. "Take care of Shippou for me."
"I will."
And with that she was gone again. Inuyasha exhaled noisily. One way or another, Kagome had wormed her way into his conscious, forced herself into the forethoughts of his mind and now she was all he could focus on. What was worse of course was that she'd be gone for a couple of days. And what made things worse still was that he was now left to wonder about the future. Or rather, Kagome's future. She lived in another time, how exactly were they supposed to have a relationship, what happened once they found all the jewel shards. Questions without answers, fortunately he'd have the next three days to let them trouble his thoughts.
They were supposed to go and make sure Shippou was awake so that they could go track down Inuyasha and Kagome. But here Miroku and Sango were, caught up in the moment, forgetting everything else around them, discovering each other's lips all over again. Sango broke away from the kiss abruptly, sensing there was something approaching. Why had she left her weapon back in the clearing? What if they were in danger? She pushed Miroku out of the way, trying to pose herself to strike as something emerged from behind a group of trees. It was worse than she had first thought; it was Shippou.
"Oh, it's just you", she said, letting her breath return to her.
"There you two are, Kirara and I were wondering where you were. I thought maybe you had come back here again."
"Yeah, you found us", Miroku said, giving Sango a look.
"I woke up and got worried, I thought maybe you guys went to go look for Kagome and Inuyasha alone and forgot about us."
"No, we'd never forget you, Shippou", Sango assured him.
"Then what were you guys doing back at the stream?"
Miroku glanced at Sango. "We were bathing."
"Really? Miroku didn't you take a bath last night?"
"Yes, I did, but I woke up this morning and felt dirty." Sango immediately turned to look at him.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Sango asked, crossing her arms. Miroku could only take a quick look back wondering what in the world Sango was talking about.
"Why didn't you guys wake me up? You guys should have told me you were going to come take a bath together. I would have come, I love bathing with Kagome. I always ask Inuyasha if he wants to come but he says no. Like I always say, baths are always so much more fun with more people."
"Yes, well, I think it's best if we go find Inuyasha and Kagome now", Miroku said, walking back to where Kirara and their things were. Sango narrowed her eyes slightly.
"What's wrong, Sango? Are you and Miroku still angry at each other? What about you guys taking a bath together?" Sango looked at the kitsune. She gave him a forced smile.
"We're friends again, but sometimes he says and does things that upset me. You'll understand when you get to be a little older." Shippou looked at her, questions still on his face. "Come, let's get ready to go. Kagome and Inuyasha won't find themselves."
Inuyasha was drinking tea in Lady Kaede's hut when Sango, Shippou, Miroku and Kirara got back to the village. Inuyasha could smell them as they approached. It was good to be a hanyou again. Were Sango and Miroku speaking again, he hoped. That's all he needed for the next three days, getting caught in the middle of a war between the monk and the demon- exterminator. And Sango, there was something different about her scent. He couldn't put his finger on it, but there was definitely something altered about it.
Shippou ran into the hut, when he didn't see Kagome he immediately began to pout. "Kagome's not here! Where is she, what did you say to her this time, Inuyasha?"
"You found her didn't you?" Sango asked, eyes wide. "Tell me you found her."
"Yeah, she went back home. She's fine."
"What happened to you apologizing to her? Why did you let her leave? You're such a jerk, Inuyasha. Go back to her time and make up with her," Shippou demanded.
"For your information, she's not mad at me anymore, she went home to get supplies."
"You don't have to lie to us, Inuyasha, if you're not ready to make up with Kagome fine", Miroku piped in, sitting down on the floor.
"I'm not lying, she's not angry with me, in fact, just the opposite is true."
"The opposite? Meaning what?" Sango asked. She took a seat next to the monk. Inuyasha looked at the three sets of eyes glowering at him. He couldn't help but blush.
"Did something happen with you and Kagome?" Sango continued, noticing the sudden hint of scarlet blooming in his face.
"I'll tell you what happened. Inuyasha was being himself, a jerk. He said things a jerk would say, he acted stubborn and pig headed. He probably made Kagome cry, he continued his jerk-like manner until Kagome could not stand being verbally abused anymore and she had no other choice but to leave us", Shippou explained.
Inuyasha glared at the fox, flexing his claws, trying to remember why he couldn't pound some sense into him. But there were Kagome's words, stopping him: "Take care of Shippou for me".
"I'm not kidding Inuyasha, you're going over to the well and apologizing to Kagome so she'll come back to me."
"I don't take orders from anyone, least of all you. I already told you she went to get supplies. She's not angry with me. You can ask her when she gets back", Inuyasha explained through gritted teeth, he was straining to control himself. Didn't Shippou realize he was going to wind up with lumps all over his skull if he didn't shut up?
"How long is she going to be gone for?" Miroku asked, wanting to believe the dog demon.
"Three days."
"What supplies were so important that Kagome couldn't say good bye to us first?" Sango questioned.
"Well, in case you haven't noticed, we're out of Ramen", Inuyasha said, throwing his arms around to prove his case.
"You sent Kagome home to get you more Ramen?" Miroku asked.
"I didn't send her home."
"So you admit to arguing with her until she left", Shippou accused, standing up and pointing.
"I'm only going to warn you once, Shippou, don't test me." Inuyasha's yellowish-brown eyes immediately turned to ice.
"I still don't understand why she didn't wait for us to get back", Sango maintained.
"She would have if the three of you weren't off in the woods fucking around somewhere for the better part of the morning. Maybe next time you'll get back at a decent hour. What were you guys doing anyway?" Sango instantaneously lowered her eyes.
"Don't turn this about us, Inuyasha. Kagome would never have run off in the first place if you hadn't have fought with her", Miroku determined.
"Why is it that everyone always assumes I'm the one who starts the fights? She started it. She called me a jerk!"
"She was simply stating a fact", Shippou huffed.
"That's it!" Inuyasha yelled, lunging at the fox demon. Screw Kagome. Shippou cried out and hid behind Sango. "Get back here! Now!"
"Leave him alone, don't take your frustrations about Kagome out on him", Sango said, putting her hands up.
"What can we expect, of course he'd try to injure a poor orphan; this is the same guy who yells and screams and then sends Kagome away to get him food". Inuyasha tried to reach Shippou behind Sango's back. "Which is funny sense he gets mad when Miroku finds us free food and shelter. He's just full of contradictions. I was probably right the first time, Inuyasha simply yelled until Kagome left."
"Just wait till I grab a hold of you, Shippou", Inuyasha promised, making another attempt. Sango pushed Inuyasha back and Miroku hit him over the head with his staff.
"Why don't we all calm down. Shippou, if Inuyasha says he and Kagome are on good terms we have no choice but to believe him. When Kagome returns we can settle the matter", Miroku decided, taking charge of the situation.
"You're real lucky I'm in a good mood, Miroku", Inuyasha began, rubbing the sore spot on his head. "Otherwise there would have been a meeting. Between my claws and your face."
"Inuyasha, for once can you try and not assert your dominance over every situation", Sango said, pleading with her eyes. Flashes of Kagome forcing herself on top of him entered his mind. He could feel the warmth come to his cheeks again.
"Well, now that's over with, what are we gonna eat for lunch?" Shippou asked.
"Apparently not Ramen", Sango said under her breath, rolling her eyes.
"So you wanna get smart, huh, Sango?" Inuyasha asked. "Let me ask you a question, why didn't you guys eat before you got back? You never told me what took you so long."
Before Miroku or Sango could offer an answer Shippou explicated, "Well, I slept in, while Miroku and Sango took a bath together." Inuyasha shifted towards the two teens, eyebrows completely raised in a state of suspended animation. "Can you believe it, they didn't even wake me up. They got up early and went to the stream alone!"
"You don't say", Inuyasha said, a smirk appearing on his jaw. "You guys know how much Shippou loves bathing with others, kind of inconsiderate of you guys to take a bath without him".
"I think Shippou misunderstood what we told him", Miroku said, realizing that no amount of spiritual powers would preclude him from getting redder than a cherry.
"Well why don't you explain it to him, I think you guys really hurt his feelings, leaving the little guy by his lonesome", Inuyasha continued, the smirk only widening as the color on the two's faces continued to exhibit more colors from the red end of the spectrum.
"Sango and I went to bathe separately, I went first, Sango arrived when I was nearly done. When Shippou found us we were on our way back. We got a little delayed because we were trying to decide which way would be fastest back to the village", Miroku offered, not looking to see what Sango's reaction was.
"That's not true", Shippou said. "They did bathe together."
"Did you see them?" Inuyasha asked.
"Well, no, but when I asked Miroku why it was he took another bath when he just washed himself last night he told me he felt dirty. Sango got mad at him, and Miroku headed back to the clearing. I told Sango I thought Miroku and her had made up sense they had bathed together and she told me that they were friends again but that sometimes Miroku does things that make her angry."
"Miroku, it wasn't nice to lie to Shippou", Inuyasha continued, the smile returning.
"Shippou, Sango and I did not bathe at the same time. When Sango told you we bathed together she meant that we bathed in such a short time span from each other that it was practically at the same time. I have no idea why Sango would tell you we did. Perhaps she made up the story because she wishes to bathe with me, which wouldn't be surprising. I suppose we can chalk that up to wishful thinking."
"I never told Shippou we bathed together, you're the one who said that, Monk", Sango growled, shooting a look in his direction.
"Once again with the Monk stuff. After everything that transpired between us last night, this is what we're reduced to?"
"Do not use last night as an excuse for your behavior!"
"Last night, you mean there's more to the story?" Inuyasha interjected, relishing in the hostility. Miroku and Sango turned to look at him, seeming to suddenly remember Shippou and him were still in the hut. "Why, did you guys have another bath together?"
"I think they did, Inuyasha", Shippou said, giving the half-demon a look.
"What?" Miroku asked, exasperated, his normally collected demeanor crumbling.
"Last night Miroku hadn't returned from his bath before I feel asleep. When I woke up Sango was headed for the stream. I meant to follow them, but fell asleep before I had a chance to", Shippou explained.
"You guys left Shippou alone, twice? I must say, that's pretty irresponsible of you guys. That dirty that you had to take two baths together?"
"I have never bathed with him, nor do I have any intentions of doing so. Shippou, you misunderstood what he said when he told you we bathed together. It's not your fault, we all know what a pervert the monk is, which is probably why he told you we did so in the first place."
"I never said that we bathed together, I told Shippou we took a bath and he drew his own conclusions. Your shot that I am a pervert was entirely unnecessary, if you need a moment to collect yourself fine, but do not take your aggravation out on me, I have done nothing to warrant it."
"Let's not talk about aggravation, like the daily aggravation that you cause me when you grope me!"
"I've stopped groping you."
"You groped me this morning!"
"I wouldn't have if you hadn't called me by the name you know I dislike."
"Well maybe you should have said something, I'm not a mind-reader, how would I possibly know what you like and dislike if you keep yourself so guarded all the time, you open up to me one time and suddenly I'm supposed to know everything about you."
"So now you want to trivialize everything I told you last night?"
"I'm not trivializing anything. Do you even hear the words coming out of your mouth? You're being ridiculous, you're almost as bad as Inuyasha", Sango complained.
"Hey!"
"Leave Inuyasha out of this. This has nothing to do with us not taking a bath together this morning, and you know it."
"I never said that it did. I seem to be the only one here who wants to recognize what this is really about."
"I doubt you have any idea what this is really about", Miroku stated, giving her an unpleasing look.
"I have no idea what this is about? You're the one who tells me how things have changed between us then you demonstrate all morning and now how nothing has changed, how you are still the same person you were before last night. What ever made me think that what you were telling me meant something to you, that you didn't simply say what ever you thought I wanted to hear."
"If anyone is acting in a manner contrary to what they said last night it is you, Sango. I'm trying to have an actual conversation with you, but you apparently must have some self-doubt because you're turning this situation into a melodrama. One cannot hope to know another when one does not know herself first."
"Does anyone else hear this? I have no idea what the monk is trying to tell me, because he's speaking in codes again. He thinks I'm supposed to jump through hoops because he finally decides he wants to tell me the truth about himself, after who knows how long. Forgive me for not being impressed with you, Monk."
"So it's come to this. If this is the way you want it, then that is your choice, Sango." He narrowed his eyes at her, giving her the coldest of looks. Miroku was livid. Shippou and Inuyasha could only look at each other in sheer astonishment, neither had ever seen Miroku angry at anyone other than an enemy, and even then it was managed anger. He was never upset with anyone in the group, least of all Sango. "Is that all I am to you, 'the monk'?"
"That and 'the pervert'", she answered, frigidly.
Miroku met Sango's eyes. His look was bloodcurdling. Shippou hid on Inuyasha's shoulder, the fox boy half expected Miroku to unleash a fury equal to his wind tunnel.
"Sango, I regret that I broke my promise last night." His voice was even; he pronounced each word carefully. "It's obvious now that I made it for a reason. I see at present that it was foolish of me to give into an unnecessary temptation, when it is clear that I have squandered my time on something that is now so evidently meaningless."
"Meaningless. That's a good word for it." Sango stood up and left the hut. Shippou and Inuyasha looked back at Miroku in unison.
"I apologize for forcing you to witness that, Friends, it was rude of us to subject you to our problems. If you'll excuse me, I need some air." He stood up and headed out of the hut in the opposite direction.
"Inuyasha, what just happened?" Shippou asked.
"I don't know", he answered, his eyes not leaving the hut's entrance.
"You think while Miroku is out getting air he'll talk to Sango?"
"I think they need to be alone right now."
"This isn't my fault is it?" Shippou's eyes looked at Inuyasha for approval.
"No." He turned to look at him. "This has nothing to do with you. You're just a kid, you're too young to understand."
Shippou jumped to the ground, and turned so that he was facing Inuyasha. "I'm not that young, I could understand if someone explained it to me."
"When you get older things get more complicated. Miroku and Sango have a lot to deal with, without the added stress of each other."
"Inuyasha", Shippou said, snuggling up to him.
"Yeah?"
"I wish Kagome were here."
"You and me both, Kiddo. You and me both."
While she was still in a good mood, Kagome went to the grocery store to pick up some medicine and some Ramen. She picked out a couple of new flavors, trying to decide whether or not Inuyasha would like Spicy Shrimp or Cajun Style. What if he were allergic? Even so, he was a half-demon, he'd heal anyway. She smiled to herself, imaging the look on his face when Kagome presented him with the variety pack she was going to buy.
The silliest things excited her. She was getting all giggly over noodles, didn't anyone else see something odd about that? It didn't matter. In a couple of days she'd be back to see him. Him. One word that resonated to her very soul. He had found away to invade her thoughts since the moment she saw him bound to that tree. And now, she didn't think she'd ever be able to think about anything with out thinking about him again. What a strange predicament. She was being silly.
Sango was half way to the river before she stopped running. He's not following you, she told herself. Of course he wasn't, there was no reason for him to. She didn't want him to, everything he wanted to say he had stated plainly. She was an unnecessary temptation to him, that was all. And he was a monk and a pervert. There was nothing left to think about, so she would think about something else. Someone else. Kagome. She wondered what strange things she was doing in the future. Kagome traveling to another time always amazed her, to think that when Kagome went home she was in an era where Sango was already dead.
Hopefully she'd return in three days like Inuyasha said she would, she needed to talk to someone. Usually she'd talk to the monk about things like this.
"Is that all I am to you, 'the monk'?"
"That and 'the pervert'."
Why, why in Hell had she said that! She wanted to hurt him, why, he hadn't deserved it, she hadn't meant it, he was everything to her. Visions of her worst nightmare resurfaced again, Kohaku slaying Miroku. What had made her tell him he was nothing to her? Well, she hadn't said that, not in so many words. . .
"She's never told you if she loved you?"
"No."
"Not even in so many words?"
She said she wasn't going to think about it, so she wasn't going to think about it. It was over now. It was water under the bridge.
"Do you need help washing your back, Sango?"
"Why is it I think you want to help me wash more than my back?"
"I am hurt that you would harbor these suspicions about me. That being said, is there somewhere else I can help you wash?"
They had just exchanged that happy dialogue this morning. And last night, last night had been so wonderful on so many multiple levels. Nothing had compared to the openness they shared with each other.
"But what of Kagome? I don't see you groping her?"
"Yes, that's true. I don't grope Kagome. But Kagome isn't in love with me, is she Sango?"
Why had she gotten angry with him? Inuyasha and Shippou were inconsequential, so they thought they bathed together, better that then the naughty things they had engaged in last night. Maybe that was it, the root of the entire thing. She wanted Miroku, she wanted him to touch her, to make her feel like she had, the feeling of dissolving into him. But what had she just thought? Naughty. As in wrong, maybe subconsciously her mind told her it was wrong and that was why she fought with him.
What had happened to her loved ones, they had died. To love someone again, to open herself to that again, what if he died too? And especially because it was Miroku. Bad enough they battled demons on a regular basis, battled Naraku on a regular basis. But he had a hole in his right hand, he was fated. "It would be her choice to be with a predestined man." And maybe that was the right choice. She cared for him. She had meant what she said to him, she would embrace him for as long as they had, and she certainly wouldn't let Naraku take him from her.
And Gods! He loved her, he loved her! She believed it, there was no doubt in her mind. "I love you, Sango. I've loved you since we first met. I wonder is it even remotely possible that you could love me too." What was she doing? Why was she so content on being melancholic, on being miserable! Why? Hadn't she suffered enough? But as soon as she let herself be happy again, something would happen, wouldn't it? As soon as she let her guard down darkness would fall.
But no, he made her so happy, and last night, it was as if she was reborn. She longed for him, but knew how incredibly empty she'd feel if he died. Was that better than this? She was weeping. What was she going to do? What happened to her not thinking about it?
Shippou had trotted off to find Lady Kaede, giving Inuyasha time alone with his thoughts. He couldn't help but think that Kagome would know what to do in a situation like this. Kagome. His world's happiness wrapped up in her. No, he wasn't thinking about Kagome. He was supposed to be trying to figure out what was going on between Sango and Miroku. How had things between them gotten so bad?
Okay, apparently something had happened between them last night. Sango had yelled at Miroku not to use last night as an excuse for his behavior. So perhaps they had made up. But Sango complained that Miroku groped her. And Miroku said he regretted breaking his promise. Hum, this was puzzling. And what was the deal with the bathing thing? Even if they had not bathed together they had certainly gone off in the woods alone twice, once late at night, and once early in the morning. What would Kagome think of all this?
What had she said about them? One day they'd stop all the games and get together. Nothing seemed further. This was getting him nowhere. Dammit! He wouldn't normally give a flying fuck about their argument but he knew that if they didn't make amends soon it was going to get more and more difficult hunting for jewel shards with a fractured team. He knew better than anyone how disruptive a disagreement was, he and Kagome had certainly had enough of them. Every time she went home they had to wait a couple of days before things cooled down before they could go on. This thing between the monk and Sango was taking on a life of it's own.
Miroku was pretending to meditate. To the untrained eye it appeared that he was engrossed in contemplation allowing him to spend the better part of the day without Inuyasha or Shippou bothering him or asking any questions. Lady Kaede, however, knew better and decided to speak to him when she finished her errands. She approached him and stated flatly, "Ye should know better than anyone, Monk, that one cannot meditate when one's mind is not at rest."
He didn't look at her, trying to keep his act up. "Shippou told me that Sango and ye exchanged words." He gave in, opening his eyes, and dropping his arms.
"I had hoped sitting like this and adding a few well placed hums would have thrown you off", Miroku said, watching Kaede sit next to him.
"Even without Shippou's account your face is marked with confliction."
"That I suppose is due to the fact that I am deeply conflicted."
"That is the first step, acknowledgment."
"Knowing what the problem is does not solve it. I have lived my life up until last night on a path, and now I find myself diverged from it, unable to find a way back."
"Perhaps that is because ye were not meant to travel that path, Monk. Or perhaps this path was only meant to lead ye to last night."
"How would I know?"
"The answer will come to ye when ye are not looking for it."
"Last night I opened my soul to Sango, and today I've never felt so alone."
"Kagome has told me that ye prefer solitude to company. I wonder is that because ye are afraid of what will happen tomorrow?"
"I have accepted my destiny, Lady Kaede."
"I wonder, have ye let others accept your destiny?" He looked at her suddenly, his heart fluttering.
"I don't know what you mean."
"When ye opened to Sango ye received a reaction that was pleasing?"
"Yes. Well, last night I did. I fear today she wants to recant what she has told me."
"Why did ye not open to Sango before? For fear she would recant?"
"No. I did not want to burden her with my problems. I suppose I also feared she wouldn't open herself up to me in return. I guess it all comes down to the fact that I did not want to cause her anymore pain because she has endured enough."
"With the deaths of her father and brother?"
"Yes."
"Perhaps that is why she gave ye a different reaction this morning."
"But she. . . I told her that she did not have to put herself out there for me". He looked at his hand, not wanting to make eye contact with Kaede. "I insisted that I did not want to hurt her. She was the one who said that it was her decision to make. Why would she say one thing last night and now change her mind?"
"Perhaps she did not want to hurt ye either, Monk. Tell me, what makes ye so sure she does not still mean what she told ye last night?"
"Even if she did, I cannot. . . it doesn't matter any longer. I know where the path is. I will follow it. Sango was simply a detour." Miroku stood up, resolved. They would always have that moment by the riverbank. But that would be where their story would end.
"She may be a detour, but I suggest ye carefully examine whether or not this path of yours leads to a dead end". Miroku didn't stop to look at her. "Ask her if she was serious when she said she loved ye." Miroku froze solid, not knowing how he managed to turn his head around so that he was looking back at Lady Kaede. He stood, mouth agape. "Your mind will never have peace if ye do not know once and for all."
It felt weird to sit with Eri, Yuka, and Ayumi in a booth at her old stomping grounds. It was different, but different in a good way, for once her mind wasn't focused on what stupid, horrible, immature thing a certain hanyou had recently done. Instead her mind wandered to how wonderful everything was going to be. Was she going to have a pet name for him? What would she tell Sango? She had to leave before the others returned to the village, she wanted the couple of days to separate her feelings before they said anything to them. Were they going to tell them that they were done playing stupid games, that the moonless night had been just what the doctor ordered to fix her bleak, non-existent love life? She sighed, so many new things to over- analyze in the privacy of her head.
"We were beginning to worry about you, we called and your grandfather told us your shin splints were flaring up again", Eri said, sipping soda from her straw.
"Yeah, those darn shin splints", Kagome answered, not meeting her eyes, but rather continuing her staring out of the window.
"Okay, what's going on now?" Yuka asked, waving her hand in front of Kagome's face.
She snapped out of it. "Huh?"
"We see that dreamy, glazed look on your face, what happened?" Yuka persisted.
"Nothing's happened."
"I bet you it has something to do with her secret boyfriend", Ayumi proclaimed, happy with herself for figuring it out first.
"That's fairly obvious. My question is what happened", Yuka said, giving her a look.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Don't play dumb with us, spill it!" Eri insisted. "You guys were fooling around, weren't you?"
Kagome shook her head, hoping no one would notice her facial expression. "It's written all over your face, stop denying it", Yuka continued.
"Hey, what about that other girl he was interested in? Does this mean she's out of the picture?" Ayumi chimed.
"Yeah is she, unless you guys made it a threesome", Yuka joked.
"No, it was nothing like that. I won't have to worry about her anymore though", Kagome finally answered, knowing full well that if she didn't at least answer one of their questions they were going to bug her until she accidentally confessed everything.
"Where's Sango?" Shippou asked, the sun wanted to set, Shippou could only hope it would wait until Sango returned.
Inuyasha sniffed the air. Her scent was growing more distant. Where was Sango headed? And stupid Miroku had sat on the ground chanting all day, he wouldn't answer when Inuyasha asked if he had spoken to her or not. "I don't know where she's headed. I hope she has Kirara with her at least."
"Inuyasha, I'm worried, you should go find her."
"She's a grown-ass woman, she'll come back when she's ready."
"Or we'll never see her again because she'll be attacked by something and killed."
"Will you stop with the dramatics, I'm sure she'll return before night fall."
"Inuyasha, please!" Inuyasha sighed loudly, thoroughly annoyed. But he told Kagome he'd take care of Shippou. He sniffed at the air again. Her scent was getting further and further. Maybe she wouldn't get back before it got late. Kagome had been lucky last night, but there was always something lurking in the woods after dark.
"I'll go find her", he said, "stay here with Kaede, if I'm not back by the time the moon is completely out tell Miroku." He dashed off, not noticing Shippou's nod.
No more Kikyo, Kagome thought, getting home around 9. Well, she supposed, Kikyo would always be a part of Inuyasha's life, after all, there were reminders of the miko everywhere. Everything from Naraku to Lady Kaede served as a constant remembrance, lest anyone forget what happened 50 years ago. And indeed, Kagome felt sorry for her, after all, she was just as much of a victim of Naraku's plot as Inuyasha had been. Kikyo was the perfect tragic figure, it was wrong not to mourn and feel sorry for her. Still. . .
She hated herself for admitting it, but truth be told, from the moment of her return Kagome had wanted nothing more in the world then for Kikyo to return to Hell. It didn't even have to be Hell, just as long as she no longer roamed the Earth. It was vexing enough to constantly be compared to the priestess in beauty, spiritual powers, fighting ability, purity. But to be forced to chase a ghost, literally, to have to measure up to someone that could shoot Inuyasha through the heart, pin him to a tree, attempt to drag him to the fiery underworld time and time again, help Naraku gather jewel shards and still warrant the half-demon's full and complete empathy and love made her skin crawl.
Even after the events between them last night, did she even hold a candle to Kikyo? How in Gods name was she ever supposed to replace her as the one and only in Inuyasha's heart? He dreamed about her, spent sleepless nights asking the stars where his Kikyo was. What was last night about? He probably needed to cum. He was horny, he only said those things to her to get her to go along with it.
No, no, he loved her, he did. You could see it in his eyes. Or was it simply something she thought she saw, that she wanted to believe so badly. Dammit! Why did Kikyo have to come back and bring his heart with her? No, Kikyo was history, he was going to let her go, he had too. She had to stop overreacting. It was over between them. That look of sadness as she dropped back through the well proved it. Of course it did.
The bright lights of Kikyo's soul-gatherers frightened Sango at first, before she had a chance to really see what it was that was illuminating the darkened way in front of her. Hum, she thought, 50 years ago Inuyasha was prepared to make the ultimate sacrifice for his love, Kikyo. And what of herself? Loving Miroku was a sacrifice, something that happened to her against her will. She had never wanted to love him. She never asked to fall in love with a destined man. No one asked her if she even liked him.
Kirara met Sango's eyes again, asking in her own silent way what was wrong with the demon-exterminator. You wouldn't understand, Sango answered her, letting her eyes do the talking. She supposed talking to Kirara was better than keeping to herself. If only Kagome were here, or if Lady Kaede hadn't walked over to Miroku at the exact moment she had gotten up the courage to speak with her.
If the world came crashing down right now, she couldn't help but wonder if he'd even notice she was here. Oh, how she longed to ask for forgiveness and hold back her tears. Where was her solace? The light at the end of the darkness? It only broke her heart to be standing alone waiting for him to come back to her. Maybe he was waiting for her, but she was too afraid to show him that she missed him, needed him, without him she was stranded in a black tidal wave. Drowning.
And Inuyasha watching her wasn't helping anything. What he didn't seem to understand was that she had gotten so used to him being there she could sense him. She could practically feel him now. She had been waiting for him, she had actually expected him sooner. It didn't take a genius to figure out that he'd pick up her scent and wonder what she was doing so far from the village. He'd ask her what was going on with Miroku, that was obvious, no common sense required to draw that conclusion. She finally just gave up, standing perfectly still, waiting for the half-demon to approach her and get the inevitable over with.
Seeming to get the hint, Inuyasha jumped in front of her, and lifted his eyebrows. "How long did you know I was there?" he asked, getting the formalities out of the way first.
"Long enough."
"Second time in two nights I've come looking in the woods for someone who's run off, but this time I'm pretty sure I'm not the reason why. You wanna talk about it?"
"Not particularly."
"Don't give me that I- needed- some- time -to -think- alone crap. Shouldn't you be thinking in the safety of the village?"
"Shouldn't you be chasing down Kikyo?" If she had seen the soul-gatherers, he must have also.
"Very feisty today, Sango. I'll let that one slide, but you only get so many cheap shots before I get angry with you." He leaned himself against a tree, a smug look on his face.
"I'll try and remember that."
"So where were you going?"
"Nowhere, I was planning on walking until I knew what to do."
"Well, you've gotten pretty far, I'd say it's time to figure it out."
"It isn't that simple", Sango explained with a long sigh.
"Nothing worth anything ever is." Sango felt her face get a little warm. "Look, this is really beginning to take its toll on you guys. If something were to happen right now, attack us, I don't think either of you would be able to defend yourselves, you're that distracted. I'm not going to pretend I have any idea what's been going on between you, but nothing can be beyond talking to each other about it."
"I don't know about that, Inuyasha."
"Sango, did Miroku hurt you?" He was suddenly very serious, so much so that it scared her.
She let his question marinate for a while. Finally she answered, "I suppose no more than I hurt him."
"Miroku, Miroku!" Shippou was running at full speed, reaching him completely out of breath.
"What's wrong?"
"She's gone, Sango's gone." Miroku's heart collapsed. Gone? "She disappeared. Inuyasha went to look for her, but what if he doesn't find her, Miroku? What if we never see her again?"
"She's fine", Miroku declared, trying to hide the terror that lurked behind his eyes.
"How come Inuyasha and Sango aren't back yet then? It's so dark outside, Miroku."
"If it'll make you feel better, Shippou I will find Sango for you." Miroku said, standing up. A day in a meditating pose hadn't done his body good.
"You can find Inuyasha for me. We both know you're finding Sango for yourself." Miroku didn't look at Shippou, only stiffened a little at his comment.
That was it! She slammed her book closed. She could study this stuff three ways from Sunday, it didn't change the fact that she wouldn't be ready for her exam. She'd be better off going into the exam cold. Her brother was going to be right, in a few years they'd be in the same grade. She was going to fail miserably, and that was fine. She could deal with it. Maybe she'd leave after the test, she had a feeling she was going to be feeling sick anyway. Grandpa could write her a doctor's note. Maybe after she left school she'd pack to go back through the well.
Why wait until tomorrow, she'd pack tonight. This day had been so long, all she wanted was to see her friends again. She missed them already. And she hadn't stopped to say goodbye to Sango, Miroku or Shippou before she had left. And Gods, she couldn't wait to hold Inuyasha again. That's it, tomorrow, after 2nd period she was going back.
Miroku didn't get very far before he ran into Sango, Kirara, and Inuyasha. "Shippou sent you?" Inuyasha asked, it coming out as a fact more than a question.
"Yes, the little guy insisted I make sure you two returned safe and sound", Miroku answered, his eyes landing on Sango's face. Sango caught his gaze, her expression placid, her guard up.
Even Inuyasha could sense the tension. "Who's taking care of Shippou while you've come to rescue us?" he asked, trying to create an out for himself.
"He's in the village, he's safe."
"Famous last fucking words, Miroku. A centipede could be devouring him as we speak. Once again with this irresponsible conduct, leaving the kid unaccompanied." Inuyasha was already gathering Kirara up in his arms. "Come on Kirara, it looks like it's up to us to look after him." Kirara made no objection as Inuyasha carried her off with him.
"I don't think he could have been any more obvious if he had wanted to", Sango decided, looking at the monk. If she kept up the small talk maybe they wouldn't get to a certain conversation topic.
"I'm half surprised he actually found you. The way Shippou was carrying on, I had you for dead."
"Hum, interesting prospect, especially since there are soul-catchers in the area. I can feel her aura. She's very close by."
"She?" Miroku asked.
"Kikyo, Inuyasha's great love."
"I don't know about that, Inuyasha's heart isn't free to love Kikyo completely."
"I hardly think Inuyasha's heart is free to love Kagome completely either. He must make a choice once and for all."
"Making choices is easier said then done, Sango. Or rather, living with your choices is easier said than done." Miroku was scrutinizing her movements. It was clear she was getting uncomfortable with the direction the dialogue was headed.
"Yes, but living with choices also requires having some assurance that one has indeed made the right choice."
"And the right choice for Inuyasha would be?"
"Kagome."
"Even though Kikyo was his first love? Even though it was she who first taught him to love?" Miroku asked.
"She also taught him to hate. Yes, it was Naraku who set them against each other 50 years ago, but her feelings for him now are tainted with her malice. Besides, looking at it in terms of simple logic, Inuyasha cannot be with Kikyo in this lifetime, he would have to die with her, which is a sacrifice that anyone who truly loved Inuyasha would not let him make."
"So you are saying that for a person to truly love someone they would not ask their love to forfeit their life." Miroku turned from her then, feeling suddenly cold.
"Kikyo and Inuyasha are a special case. Kikyo is not among the living. It is selfish of Kikyo to demand Inuyasha give up his life for her."
"Kikyo cannot live again. If Inuyasha truly loved her in return wouldn't he die for her?"
"Inuyasha truly loves Kagome", Sango answered.
"Hypothetically, if Kagome were not a factor. Wouldn't Inuyasha's refusal to give up his life for Kikyo mean he did not in fact love her? To die for the person you love, to risk everything and make the ultimate sacrifice, is that not love?"
"And what of Kikyo's request? Asking someone to follow you into death? To jeopardize everything you have for the other? To expect your supposed love to forgo their future happiness, to leave all that they hold dearest to them? Is that what love is?"
"What is love then, Sango? How would you define it?"
"Love is not something that can be defined in mere words, Monk. It is in actions. It lives in moments, it's wrapped up in everything that is right with the world."
"And then you complain that I speak in codes." They looked at each other. Curiously, this conversation was going easier than last night's.
"It is not love that causes the world's problems", she continued. "It is the emotions that come with it. Mistrust, jealousy, hate. These things infect love. It is easy to love someone, it happens without you even knowing it. But to trust your love, to not be jealous when he or she looks on another, to not let your jealously and suspicion turn to hate, that is difficult."
"What of warmth, conviction, lust, these also come with love, Sango."
"So does anger, betrayal, cruelty." She crossed her arms over her chest.
"As do contentment, faith, completeness. They all come bundled up with love. No one lives happily ever after. No one knows what will happen tomorrow. But holding fast to someone, loving them with everything you are is one way to overcome the unknown future, even when it leads to death."
"Death. Yes, that's it exactly. Kikyo met a tragic end. What kind of person would then subject their true love to the same fate? How does someone find completeness, warmth, compassion, all these lovely adjectives in dying?"
"You find this by dying knowing that you were loved. Kikyo never had that, she died thinking she was betrayed and her soul is restless because of this. Dying knowing that that one thing in your life was true, that makes all the difference."
"I only wish I could be as sure as you are, Monk." She looked at him desolately, not knowing whether she wanted to run away or cry terribly or kiss him or simply die.
"It is often difficult to open your heart", Miroku avowed.
"Such a tired cliché."
"Here is another trite overused phrase then, Sango: the heart wants what the heart wants."
"Overused indeed, if I didn't know you any better I'd guess you were trying to be a poet."
"Then I will cease with the pleasantries and get to the point."
"That would be nice, I'm beginning to think you're about to slip into verse."
"I am unaware of how it happened, but in one instant I found myself in love with you. I ask you for nothing in return, but the truth, so that I can have peace. Are you in love with me? Truthfully?"
Shippou couldn't sleep, but he tried, really tried. Shut his eyes as tightly as he could, but he couldn't fall asleep. This was the second night Miroku and Sango were off alone somewhere. And before he knew it, Inuyasha was dashing off into the nighttime. To where? Who knew. Maybe he was looking for Miroku and Sango, Shippou decided he'd get up and follow him. It was better than sleeping in the hut worrying.
Didn't they know that he was anxious and troubled about them when they were gone? Why would they leave him alone when they thought he was asleep? Inuyasha was fast, if he didn't hurry, he'd probably lose him. It was so dark outside, except for those strange familiar glowing lights ducking in and out of the trees. He had seen them before, but he couldn't remember when, or what they were.
He got closer to them, curiosity winning out over fear, soon he could hear Inuyasha's voice. He was talking to someone. Who was it? It looked like Kagome, Shippou walked faster. Wait, no, it wasn't Kagome, it only looked like her. Was that? No it couldn't be, but it was. It was Kikyo. Then those lights must have been her soul-collectors. Why Inuyasha? Why are you with her, what about Kagome? Shippou demanded wordlessly. He couldn't watch. Where was Kagome?
"You have been standing here. Please, tell me, I must know. Are my feelings unrequited?" Miroku analyzed his counterpart's face, trying to figure out if she was going to reveal anything.
"Last night you told me it would do you no good to know. In the end we can never be together", Sango answered, matter-of-factly.
"Then last night?"
"A moment we will always have. I believe you, Monk. You do not mean to hurt me. You did not release yourself in me because you did not want to bind us together."
"So the answer is no, you do not return my feelings."
"The answer is that it is better you don't know."
"It is only better for you, Sango."
"Huh?"
"You cannot tell me directly because you are afraid of your answer. But I know it.it is in your eyes, in your voice."
"What do they say, Monk?" Sango inquired, eyes looking down at the thought that she was so transparent to him.
"They say no." She tried not to flinch as her eyes shot up. "I must admit that I lied to you before, Sango. Last night was not meaningless to me, and you were not an unnecessary temptation. I will forever thank the Gods for allowing me one moment with my love." She could only remain standing there in her fixated state, her heart splintering sharply. "Let us go back to the village. Shippou never gets much sleep when we are not by his side."
"That's it? It's over? Don't you have anything left to say?"
"No."
"It can't end like this!" Desperation invading her voice.
"It has." His voice full of disillusionment.
"No!" Tears stinging at her eyes, she was too upset to do something about it.
"I asked you a simple question. You avoided the answer, I can only draw one conclusion as to why." He was walking towards her, Sango backed up until she hit the tree Inuyasha had leaned against. "At least have the decency to tell me straight to my face, using my birth name."
"Monk. . ." She refused to meet his eyes. "Miroku, I. . ."
"Say it, Sango. Look into my eyes and say it."
She was wiping tears away. "Why do you want me to say it?"
"So I can have peace. Say it. Say 'Miroku, I do not love you'."
"Miroku. . .I do not love you." Her tears turning to rivulets. He was walking closer still. She was trapped, her back pressing into the tree, tearing at her clothing.
"You didn't look me in the eyes, Sango." She sniffled. "Please. Look at me."
She shook her head negatively. Her chest heaving as she tried to get herself under control. Somehow, he lessened the space between them again. He positioned his forefinger and thumb under her chin, lifting her head slightly. She met his eyes, albeit, against her will. Miroku kept the same nonchalant demeanor, as if he caused women to asphyxiate on a regular basis.
Her words choking her as she spoke between soft sobs, "Stop it. I told you what you wanted to hear."
"Tell me again."
"Why?"
"Because if you're going to lie to me I wish it to be directly to my face."
"I wasn't lying."
"You were." She shook her head, Miroku still not letting go of the side of her chin.
"Prove me wrong then", he demanded.
"You said we can't be together. And all your promises have gotten us right here, because you cannot promise me the one thing I need the most." She could barely put together words.
"What is that promise, Sango?" he asked, his eyes boring into her so hard she imagined they could see right through her, to her very soul.
"You cannot promise me that you won't die! That you won't get yourself killed by Naraku or your wind tunnel."
"No, I cannot promise you that. Eventually I will die, Sango. We all will."
"You know what I mean."
"Indeed. I will not promise you that. But I can promise you something else." She could only look at him, her tear streaked face still in his hand.
"I promise you will be the first thing I think about when I wake up, and the last thing I think about when I go to sleep. I promise to long for you when you are not near me. I promise to be blinded when I see you. I promise to tremble when your hand meets mine. I promise to get that bubbly feeling in the pit of my stomach when I kiss you. I promise to feel weightless when I touch you. I promise to stay in love with you every second of every day."
She shuddered frenziedly. "This is all I have to give." She gave him no verbal response. "Well? Is it enough?"
"I can't get away from you," her voice suddenly serious, strength returning to it.
"What?"
"My mind and heart are no longer my own. I've tried to get away, but you have me a captive. And somehow you're also my release. I love you, Miroku." The corners of his mouth began to curl.
He bent forward, joining their lips. He waited for her to part her mouth long enough for him to invite her tongue out to play with his. She did. The kiss grew more aggressive, their tongues commingling. Finally he stopped, inhaling a much needed breath.
"Are you getting that bubbly feeling?" she asked. She was falling all over again.
"Yes, yes I am." He pulled away, taking her with him so that her back was no longer smashing into the tree.
"Miroku, it's like, I don't know. I'm a different person around you. Everything about me is exposed. All my passions, all my inhibitions are staring out at you."
"Hum." Another smile forming on his lips. "I'm not sure I know what you mean."
"You do. It's like I'm naked with you."
"I don't know if I actually understand what you're saying. Sango, perhaps we need a visual aid." That mischievous look in his eye made the blood rush to her face. He reached for her kimono.
"Here? In the woods?"
"It was fine last night."
"That was different, we were in a secluded clearing."
"We're at least two miles from the village."
"Kikyo's around."
"Let her watch." She slapped him. Feeling a little bad about it once she had.
"Every time we take one step forward we take two steps back", Miroku grumbled, rubbing his already sore cheek.
"In love there is no holding back." He looked at her out of the corner of his eye. She smiled to herself.
"I don't want to hold back either." He kissed her. It immediately deepened. She moved.
"Not here."
He nodded, trying to conceal the lust in his eyes. "Yes, not here. As you wish. I just want to hold you. Then I'll be contented." They hugged. She closed her eyes. How safe and warm she felt. How long had it taken them to get to this point. But it was all worth it. They were here now. She wanted him to save her. She wanted to find salvation with him.
"I love you", he whispered in her ear, beginning to suck at her ear lobe. Before she could react he was at her neck. Reminding her how last night's activities had begun. She moaned.
"Miroku, what are you doing?" His kiss answered her. If he didn't stop she'd have more red marks. "You lecher, you told me holding me would leave you contented."
He stopped, to her unvoiced chagrin. "I am contented with only holding you. But I don't think you are." He began on her neck again. That tingling feeling was returning between her legs. Damn him. Didn't he know what he did to her? That was the problem, she thought. It wasn't that he didn't know. The problem was, he did. There was no way she was going to be able to hold out again.
"I hate when you do this to me", Sango said, tracing her fingers through his hair.
"Are you getting that bubbly feeling too?" he asked, teasing her.
"Shut up, Monk."
"Do I have to teach you another lesson about calling me that?" She moaned harder as he continued the brutal attack on her neck.
"If we're going to do something fine. But you will not tease me."
He stopped long enough to look at her. "You presume to tell me what we're doing?"
"Don't get slapped again, Monk", she hissed.
"So fresh, Sango. Yes, I think it is time for me to teach you some manners." He had her back against the tree before she could bat an eyelash. She was reaching for him, trying to loosen his robs. The spot between her legs was throbbing already.
She began pulling forcibly, he grabbed her arms. "See, this is what I'm talking about, Sango. All that pent up aggression. But I will help you release it."
She struggled to get free. "You're really starting to get me angry. I told you not to tease me." She got her hands free.
"I'm trying to help you, Sango. You must learn to be patient."
"Monk, I'm only going to tell you once more, you will not tease me this time." She yanked until his chest was exposed to her.
He shook his head and sighed. "You leave me no choice now. I'm going to have to use tough love." He peeled her clothing out of the way, letting it drop to her ankles. Without another word he had her arms securely pinned above, her skin scraping at the bark. Swiftly he parted her legs with his feet and placed two fingers inside of her.
"Gods!" she cried out. Her body was rattling.
That look in his eyes, that arrogance that made her so angry, but turned her on at the same time. His lips asserted his dominance as he leisurely pressed them on her collarbone. It was like he had her under a spell. She could only whimper as he whispered into her ear, his warm breath tickling the hairs tucked behind her lobe. "Mmmm, I think I may be enjoying this lesson more than you are, Sango."
He shifted a little so that he could look her in the eyes. He continued his motions and got an "ahhhhhhh" in response. "Don't, I can't take it. Now, now!" Her words slurred together as he slowly stroked her, continuing to move those two fingers in and out. She was writhing against him, hitting the tree with each thrust.
"Please", Miroku corrected, not bothering to hurry his slow pace.
"Damn it, Monk. Please!"
Her body tensed again as he gave her a kiss. Without thinking about it, he added a third finger. She moaned against his mouth. And shuttered. He trailed the kiss back to her ear. Her heart skipped.
"My name is Miroku", he reminded her, breathing into her ear again.
"I know, I'm sorry".
"Say it. Say my name, Sango."
"Miroku. . ." I came out in a half cry as he quickened his movements. "Miroku!" He was killing her softly.
"Please, Miroku", he marked.
"Please, Miroku!" she growled in return.
"Please what?"
"Please, Miroku, take me." He smiled again.
"I will, when it's time. I promise."
"I promise I will murder you once I get free!" She screamed louder as he entered her with a fourth digit. "Ahh, ahh, ahh, ah.." She had another orgasm. If he kept this up her eyes were going to roll behind her head.
"Release that frustration, Sango. Let it go." His voice came out breathy, his words tickling the spot on her neck he had besieged so many times before. She jumped a little more. The fingers didn't cease as Miroku grabbed her bottom lip with his, kissing her. It felt like burning, she was so hot. Damn him, damn him.
He broke the kiss when his lungs were completely out of air. He pulled his fingers out of his willing victim, his eyes not leaving hers. The night breeze hit the spot bringing a new sensation. That smug look on his face, he was really taking pleasure in his torment. He brought the hand up, rubbing his fingers together; they slipped against each other effortlessly.
"No, not yet." She couldn't stand it anymore. With her last bit of strength she pushed with all her might, managing to get an arm free. She tore at him, getting his robes the rest of the way down. She twisted trying to get the other hand free, as she fought with him.
They continued to struggle. Finally, Miroku spun her back around, slamming her into the tree. In a normal situation, Sango would have slain the monk, but that part of her that loved to fight with him this way had taken over long ago. In the end, they both knew she'd let him win. Not that Miroku couldn't put up a good fight, of course.
He stuck his fingers back into the aching, enlivening her thoughts back to the incredible heat that was making it impossible to focus. She whimpered defeated as he got the upper hand again, positing her against the tree, arms firmly pinned, his member poking at her. "And we were making such progress too, but no, Sango, you continue to fight me. I didn't want to have to punish you."
He began his nerve wreaking assault on her breasts. Sango leaned into him, feeling his penis on her abdomen. She couldn't move, she was too exhausted to struggle much as he sucked her nipple into such a painful erection she thought it was going to break off. "Miroku. . . I can't. . . I can't. . ." her voice deepened, her mouth agape, sweat pouring from her hairline.
"Shhhhh. Do not worry. I won't break my promise. I think it's almost time." He moved to the sister breast, teasing and sucking and kissing and licking. She was too gone to make coherent speech, but her body's response was quite clear.
Miroku watched the orgasm take its effect. She was losing it, really losing it. Watching her in complete ecstasy was taking its toll on him. He touched her and she screamed again. The more she responded to him the harder his erection got. This was it.
She got enough clarity to ask him, "Miroku, please take me."
"Yes, I think you've learned your lesson." Without any other warning he pushed himself completely inside, he pulled himself almost all the way out, leaving the tip inside her, before he forced himself back in. Sango lifted her leg and wrapped it around his hip. He let her arms free so she could wrap them around his neck.
He lifted her other leg off the ground, securing her with his arms. In and out, in and out, slowly, but steadily. He took two steps back so that she would not hit the tree with each insertion. She was kissing him uncompromisingly. He could barely stay focused as he drove in faster.
"Harder, harder", she demanded, her crazed eyes glaring at him. Their rhythm now established he complied. She moved with him, their bodies moving like a well- oiled machine. She was pushing him, he could barely stay standing up. Her bosom bounced playfully at him, he grabbed hold of a nipple, as she came. He put her down, their bodies still joined. Feeling her tighten around his hardness caused him to lose it. He pulled out, his essence shooting out in torrents. Some splattered on Sango's leg.
Miroku dropped to the ground, hardly able to stay seated in an upright position. Sango dropped to her knees in front of him. She took four fingers and wiped his seed off of her thigh. She ritualistically rubbed the fingers together and looked at him. "Next time, Miroku, you will be made to pay for your torture".
"We shall see about that", he answered, lying back. She collapsed on top of him.