**** The Mysterious Cases of Detective Hisoka ****
[Disclaimers/Note: I do not own any of the HxH characters. OOCness can be expected in the story.]
** Case 4 : The Case of the Mysterious Kidnapper **
"Gon, dinner's ready!" called Kurapica. He walked over to the small balcony and looked down, but Gon was nowhere to be seen. He looked around, but no luck in finding the boy with spiky hair. "He'd probably gone somewhere with Killua," Kurapica decided. "They'll come back when they're hungry."
"Hurry up, Kurapica," Leorio's complaint came from the dining room. "I'm hungry!!" He was sitting in a chair in front of their round, white dining table, and waited impatiently for Kurapica and the others. He had a dark blue napkin around his neck, and a fork and a knife in each of his hands, ready to eat. "Kurapica!!" he yelled, seeing that Kurapica wasn't coming. "Don't mind those kids, they're probably wondering around in the forest. What's for dinner?"
Kurapica sighed as he came to join Leorio in the dining room. "I guess we can start eating without them," he told himself, and went to the kitchen to get the food he'd prepared. Just as he went through the drawers to look for a wood spoon to serve their dinner, he heard another yelling.
"Kurapica!! Did you burn the food again?!" Complaint of a young man came from the living room. He walked over to the kitchen lazily, and took off the lid of an overflowing pot. "What is this thing, Kurapica?" His expression changed suddenly as he saw what was inside.
"Huh?" Kurapica turned to Killua with a surprised expression, and found Killua frowning at the pot - something inside the pot, actually. "Killua? I thought you were with Gon!" He stopped searching for the wooden spoon, and waited for Killua's response.
Killua blinked. "Gon? I thought he went outside to get the mail or something," replied Killua, still frowning. "He'll be back soon, I think. Anyway, don't tell me we're having this.... brownish black thing for dinner!"
Kurapica blinked, too. He was ready to smash Killua on the head with his frying pan for criticizing his cooking, which was supposed to be cream stew, but he was more worried about Gon. He hadn't seen Gon since he went outside for some fresh air that afternoon. Where could he have been all these hours? "I'm worried about Gon," said Kurapica. "He would've told us where he was going. He wouldn't worry us like this."
"You're right," added Killua. "If Gon went to the forest, he'd have asked me. Why would he go alone?"
Leorio came into the kitchen slowly, the napkin still around his neck. "Maybe he has a surprise or something," he said. "He might be preparing something for us, for a birthday present or something."
"But.... it doesn't hurt to at least go look for him in the neighbourhood, does it?" suggested Kurapica, and so, despite Leorio's complaints about how hungry he was, the three split up and walked down the streets to look for the missing child. However, they had no luck in finding him, after calling out his name and asking people of the neighbourhood if they'd seen him.
"Any sign of Gon?" asked Leorio as the three met back at their apartment room. "I'm hungry," he added, and Kurapica glared at him. "What! I am hungry, you know. I haven't eaten anything."
Killua gave Leorio an almost too friendly smile, which made Leorio back off and be quiet about dinner. "We haven't found Gon, and you're still thinking of dinner?!" Leorio backed off some more, as Killua got even closer. "If you don't find Gon, I won't let you eat anything!"
"Killua!" Kurapica tried to hold Killua and kept him away from Leorio. "Let's try looking for him again, okay?"
Leorio sighed, "....fine."
As the three were about to split up again, they were stopped by a very uncomfortable laughter coming from a room in the apartment building. The silhouette of a tall man came in sight as the streetlights came on. Even before the man drew away the curtain, the Hunters were able to tell that he was their friendly neighbour - Detective Hisoka.
"Looking for someone?" laughed the clown. Then, he clapped his hands together and said, "ooooh, I know who you're looking for!!"
"Hisoka!!" yelled Killua. "I'll bet you're the one who kidnapped Gon!! Give him back right now or else!"
Hisoka opened the window and jumped down, landing by the Hunters. The Hunters became cautious and were ready for an attack as the clown came closer. "Aw, don't worry," the clown giggled with amusement. "I don't have him, but I'm here to help you look for him."
The Hunters sweatdropped as they heard that. "You WHAT?!" Leorio made a face. They didn't believe, that once again, the maniac clown was getting into their business.
"Let's start, shall we?" Detective Hisoka pulled out a small notebook and a pen out of nowhere. Since he was a magician, it wasn't difficult for him to do so. "I believe we've encountered a similar problem before, haven't we? Gon-chan was dead, and the amazing Detective Hisoka made him come back to life."
"Er.... I don't think that's how it was," Kurapica sweatdropped. "But anyway, let's start with the investigation." Just as he finished saying that, he slapped his forehead and thought to himself, what was he saying?! He did not believe he was actually encouraging the clown.
"Okay, who saw him last?" asked Hisoka. "When, and where?"
"I think he was last seen by Killua," Leorio answered. "Remember you said you saw Gon getting the mail?" he turned to Killua, who paused to think for a moment. "Yeah, that's right. He said he was going to go get the mail, and I said I'd go with him, but he said he could manage it by himself.... And he never came back after that."
"Aha!!" Hisoka exclaimed. "I know what happened!!"
The Hunters turned to Hisoka, some were thinking that Hisoka was finally getting better in this detective business. "Really?!" Killua wanted to know. "What happened to him?!"
"You," Hisoka turned and pointed at Killua. Killua gasped. "Killua, you followed Gon to the mailbox!!" Killua frowned - Hisoka wasn't getting better at all. "You followed Gon to the mailbox. You're an assassin - that should've been easy to do without getting Gon to notice you. Once Gon opened the mailbox, you run to him, and killed him. All you had to do after that was to squish his body into the mailbox so no one would find him...." Hisoka looked pleased at his own sleuthing work, and penned down his theory of Killua killing Gon.
The Hunters sweatdropped again and were stunned to hear Hisoka's explanation. Of course, they didn't believe a word Hisoka said. "Er.... I don't think a twelve-yr-old boy would fit into a mailbox," commented Leorio.
"And why would I kill Gon and squish him into a mailbox?" Killua looked annoyed. He shook his head and chuckled in ridicule. "Come on, even Gon's hair won't fit into that small mailbox."
"Hmm....," Hisoka thought with amusement. "I'll bet the doctor-wannabe did this!"
Leorio gasped. "Me?!" He frowned as he pointed at himself. He could think of a thousand different reasons that backed up his theory of I-didn't-kill-Gon, but none of that made sense to Hisoka, it seemed. "Oh, come on. Gon's my buddy. Why would I do anything to harm him?"
"Then it must be the Kuruta boy!" Hisoka stated, and a vein popped up on Kurapica's head. "You kidnapped Gon and hid him somewhere, so that you can demand for ransom from his Aunt - Mito, was it?"
"Huh?" Kurapica's brow twitched. "I'd be more logical, Hisoka. If I was to kidnap someone, I'd choose someone rich, someone whose family would pay me the money for ransom for sure." He crossed his arms, and waited for Hisoka's response, as he hoped Hisoka wouldn't go on accusing him. "Unless it's someone I really hate," he added in a low voice, his eyes turning scarlet.
But to his surprise, Hisoka had a worried expression on his face. His hands covered his face, and like a frightened child, he said, "Y-you aren't planning to kidnap me, are you? I mean, I am rich, but...." The Hunters gawped at him, and laughed nervously as Hisoka changed his expression and continued, "Ooooh, I'm just kidding!! Relax, Kuruta boy!"
"Stop calling me that," Kurapica's eyes became scarlet again. "And weren't you supposed to be investigating the case?!"
"Oh, yes.... where was I?" Hisoka put his hand on his chin, looked down and thought for a moment. He seemed to be trying very hard to remember where he was, so that he could solve the case. However, Leorio had already fallen asleep while he was thinking, and Killua sat down under a nearby tree by the street. This 'moment', obviously, was getting awfully long.
Kurapica sighed as he saw Killua falling asleep also, and turned his attention to Hisoka again. "Hello!" he said. "Are you still thinking, Hisoka?"
To that, Hisoka looked up and responded, "Oh, yes.... I was daydreaming about going on a date with Machi. How should I ask her? 'Machi, dear, would you like to go for dinner with me?' or 'Hey baby! Let's go grab a burger!'?"
Either one of the two questions was too unlike Hisoka, Kurapica thought. Silently, he wondered where Hisoka had came up with those, but he decided he didn't want to know. "I don't care about your stupid date," was Kurapica's sharp reply. "Are you sure you can handle this case? Because I think I can do without your so-called detective work."
"Oh, come on, Kuruta boy? I promise the great Detective Hisoka will find out what really happened!!" Hisoka said, in his weird tone of voice. He might have been begging, but with that voice, he sounded rather evil.
"Whatever, Hisoka," Kurapica rolled his eyes. "I'd rather find him all by myself."
"And how are you going to do that?" Hisoka asked curiously.
One of Kurapica's chains came out of his sleeve, and swung back and forth in midair. "With my Dowsing Chain," he replied. "Leorio, can you get a map from my room?" he turned to Leorio, but Leorio was asleep. Kurapica didn't know whether he should yell at Leorio for falling asleep at a time like this, or praise him for his ability of sleeping while standing still. "Never mind. Killua, can you do that?"
Killua's eyes opened slowly - he had fallen asleep as well - and nodded, and jumped up the apartment building, crushing through the glass door into the living room. Few moments later, he was back with a book of maps. "Here you go, Kurapica," he said as he jumped down the balcony.
Kurapica opened the book, but closed it immediately. He blinked few times and turned to Killua, who looked puzzled. "K-Killua.... where did you get this from?"
"Huh?" Killua replied casually. "It was in Leorio's room. I couldn't find yours, so I thought we'd borrow Leorio's roadmap." He saw that Kurapica's expression wasn't changing - he was stunned at 'something'. Something he saw in the book, Killua decided. "What's wrong with it?" Killua grabbed the book from Kurapica, and flipped it through.
Inside the cover of a roadmap, the pages were filled with pictures of girls in bikinis. Killua couldn't help but laugh out loud, "Pwahahahaha.... That perverted guy....," he said as he laughed, until he could laugh no more. "Oh, man.... I didn't know Leorio kept these pictures in a roadmap!!" Killua continued to laugh until he started choking, and even after that, he started laughing out loud every time he saw Leorio.
Kurapica shook his head, but Hisoka looked rather amused. "Kukuku.... you kids are so funny," he laughed. "I guess your chain won't work, huh? Now it's up to the great detective!! And I think I know who did this!!"
"Here we go again," Killua said, and added sarcastically, "well then, tell us, O Great One, who did what to Gon, and where is Gon right now?"
"The kidnapper is among us," Hisoka giggled, and Killua and Kurapica shivered. "It's him!!" He pointed at Leorio suddenly, and Leorio was snapped back to reality.
"W-what?!" he blinked as he looked at Hisoka and the others.
"According to my notes on the last cases," Hisoka flipped through his little notebook. "You are jealous of Gon-chan because he's much younger than you." He flipped few pages and continued, "Without the youngest one, people wouldn't compare your age with his."
"Why should I be concerned with my age?!" Leorio looked annoyed.
"Well, your friends used to call you 'old guy', right?" Hisoka asked. "Right?" he repeated.
"Er....," Leorio sweatdropped. He didn't want to admit it, but he was a bit concerned with people thinking he was about thirty. "B-but there are lots of people younger than Gon!! Why would I kill him only?!"
"Tricky question," Hisoka went through his notes again. "Probably because you four are the closest, and you haven't the power to kill Killua. Gon-chan's too naive to notice your evil nature." Hisoka giggled again as he saw Leorio's face going red with anger. "Oh," Hisoka added. "And you were the only one sleeping while the others worked hard to try to look for Gon-chan. Obviously, you don't care."
"Of course I care!!" Leorio raised his voice. "It's not my fault you took so long to think of what we were talking about!!" He then turned to Kurapica, with an annoyed look on his face. "And YOU," his brow twitched. "You never gave me dinner!!"
Hisoka put a hand on his forehead, as if he had a terrible headache. "You're confusing me," he said rather softly. "Wait here - I'll have my assistant help me with the case."
The Hunters waited while he called his assistant Illumi, who glanced out the window from the apartment building just beside the sidewalk they were on. Hisoka asked him to come over right away, and he did - just like Killua, he opened the window and jumped down, making a soft landing beside Hisoka.
"What do you need?" he asked. "Is it another weird case?"
Hisoka explained to Illumi the situation, and all the data he'd collected - which, obviously, came out of his imagination. Illumi took out his notebook, too, and jotted down the points, which he thought were important. The fact was, that this sidekick of Hisoka's wasn't any better than Hisoka himself.
"So, what do you think, Illumi?" Hisoka wanted to know.
Illumi put his hand on his chin and thought the whole thing through. After few moments of silence, he decided, "I think Gon is still alive." Surprised, the Hunters closed in.
"He is?! Where could he be then?!" Leorio came closer to Illumi, who stood still. "Come on, tell us!!"
"Well, I don't know where he is, but if he was dead, his spirit would've came out and responded when you guys called," Illumi explained reasonably. "So, my guess is that he's still alive - only he was kidnapped and locked up somewhere."
"If he was kidnapped, why didn't anyone call and ask for money?" Leorio asked. His head was filled with money - no other things came to his mind when he heard the word, 'kidnapped'.
"Could it be possible that someone hates us, and want to get back at us for something?" suggested Killua, thinking about his explanation. Sadly, he wasn't able to come up with anyone who could've hated them that much. Gon was a very nice guy, and no one could come up with any reason how anyone could possibly hate Gon.
Kurapica had a different theory from any of the others. "Well.... he or she - or they - might be after the Hunter cards," he said. "Whoever it was must have been strong, because kidnapping Gon isn't an easy job." To that, Leorio and Killua turned to Illumi with doubtful looks on their faces. The assassin - I mean assistant detective - looked puzzled, but knew the two were suspecting him of kidnapping their friend. "Why would I kidnap Gon?" Illumi asked calmly.
"Well, for one thing, you would want your little brother back home," Leorio explained. "If Gon was gone, Killua would most likely go back home, right?" Killua shrugged. "And for another reason, you like his Aunt Mito!!"
Kurapica, who nodded in agreement to the first part of Leorio's reasoning, stared dumbly at Leorio as he said the second part. "He WHAT?!" Kurapica exclaimed. "What's the connection here?!"
Leorio laughed out loud proudly and explained, "Well, he could've kidnapped Gon and then gotten him back to Aunt Mito, and claim that he saved Gon. That way Aunt Mito would go, 'My Hero....!'" Leorio put his hands together and flattered his eyes, which made the others cough and turn away in disgust. "What!! I was just showing you guys how Aunt Mito would react!!" Leorio complained.
Leorio should've seen himself, Killua thought and sweatdropped. He covered his mouth and jumped up onto the balcony. "Hey Killua!!" Leorio called impatiently. "Where are you going?"
"I think he went to throw up, Leorio," Kurapica eyed Leorio, and Leorio gave him a 'hey!!' expression. But before Leorio could throw insults at Kurapica, the Great Detective stepped in.
"I think," he said. "Killua ran away because he's the one who'd kidnapped Gon!! He doesn't want to get caught, so he ran away!!"
"B-but why would he?!" Leorio asked. He looked shocked to hear what Hisoka had just said. Kurapica, who stood beside him, said to him, "Don't tell me you actually believe him, Leorio." Leorio sweatdropped.
"So, it's another case solved by us!!" Hisoka had his hands on his hips, cheering proudly. Kurapica and Leorio gave him a 'yeah right' expression. "Now let's go catch that kidnapper!!" Before anyone could stop him (not that anyone could actually stop him), the Great Detective and his assistant jumped up onto the balcony and ran into the room. Kurapica and Leorio went after them by the stairs.
* * * *
In the bathroom, Killua was washing his face. He looked into the mirror and noticed two unpleasant figures. He turned, and saw that they were the Detective and his assistant. "What do you want?" Killua turned around.
"We all know what really happened now," Hisoka stepped forward. "You don't have to pretend."
Killua took a towel in his hands and asked, "Pretend what? Tell me what happened!!"
Hisoka started laughing like a maniac, and pointed at Killua, who had a confused expression on his face. "We'll tie him up and let the police take care of him." Illumi nodded and held Killua so that he couldn't move, and Hisoka used his Bungee Gum to keep him from moving. "There. Now all we need to do are," Hisoka turned to Illumi. "Illumi, you call the police, and I'll ask where Gon-chan is."
"Hisoka you moron!! You've got the wrong guy!!" Killua yelled, but Hisoka only laughed. "I told you already I don't know anything!! Are you even listening?!"
Kurapica and Leorio arrived just then. They rushed into the bathroom, where Killua was held as the primary suspect. The two heard Hisoka question Killua, and Killua's yelling 'I told you I didn't do anything wrong'.
"Killua, this is your last chance to answer me," Hisoka's expression turned serious. "Answer me right now," he glared at Killua, and Killua froze on the spot. Kurapica and Leorio looked at the two, expecting Hisoka to say something unpleasant. "Or I'll tickle you!!" Hisoka threatened him. Kurapica and Leorio sweatdropped and fell backwards in relief, since they'd expected Hisoka to do something more harmful.
"No.... please.... anything but that," Killua begged as Hisoka came closer to him. "I-I really don't know anything!!"
"Know what?" Came a voice from the living room. The three Hunters and the two detectives turned right away, and ran to the living room, leaving Killua behind. He couldn't move because of the Bungee Gum.
"G-G-Gon....," Leorio's eyes were round. Kurapica ran to Gon and hugged him. However, Gon's whole body was wet - from head to toe. His hair was like the leaves on a coconut tree, since Gon had gotten it wet. "What happened to you?! You're so wet!!"
"Well....," Gon sweatdropped as Kurapica brought a bath towel for him. "Today, I went to get the mail, and I found one from Aunt Mito." The others nodded, ignoring Killua's yelling. "I went to read it in the balcony, but the wind blew it away. So I reached out to the letter, but I fell from the balcony, you see."
"Ouch!" Leorio shivered. The others glared at him. "Sorry," Leorio stuck out his tongue.
"Anyway, I fell from the balcony and there was a manhole with its cover open. I fell in there, and it washed me to a dam, which had a crack in it, and it broke. So I was washed to the ocean," Gon explained as he wiped his face with the towel. "From there I had to swim all the way back to the dam, then I had to walk back here."
Nothing but silence followed Gon's explanations. It was very unexpected, even the Great Detective was impressed. "So there! Gon's back now!!" Hisoka smiled. "Now pay us." Leorio's eyebrow twitched again.
"Well, Mr Detective," Leorio smiled painfully. "And his great assistant. Thank you so much for your effort, even though you didn't actually find Gon. Now, to thank you properly, why don't you have dinner with us here?"
Hisoka, unaware of what Leorio had in mind, turned to Illumi and nodded. "Sure," he said. Leorio smiled evilly this time, at Kurapica, who looked puzzled.
As everyone sat down in the dining room, Leorio brought in a re-heated pot of (black - burned) stew. He started serving the stew, and Kurapica called him over. 'What's the meaning of this?!' he whispered.
'Relax, Kurapica,' Leorio whispered back. 'Once they eat this awful food, they'll leave us alone!! We're so poor we can't even find a proper cook to cook for us! He can't ask for money then.' Leorio smiled as he thought of his brilliant plan.
But Kurapica's fist ended up on his head as soon as he finished his sentence. "Can't find a proper cook, huh?" he raised his eyebrow. "I'd like to see you cook for yourself." Kurapica turned and walked away as Leorio sank onto the floor. Stars were circulating the air above his head.
* * * *
Hisoka scooped up a spoonful of.... er.... cream stew, and put it slowly in his mouth. "Hmm....," he said as he tasted the stew carefully. Leorio, Kurapica and Killua watched the Detective and his assistant carefully and nervously. "Hey," Hisoka's lips curled up into a smile, and the Hunters shivered. "This stuff is actually edible," he said.
Sighs of relief came from the Hunters, until Illumi pushed the bowl further from him toward the middle of the table. "What is this?" he asked calmly. "First of all, I can't tell what it is. Second, there's too much salt. Third, there's too much cream...." Illumi was picky about food, since he was from a rich family. This did not make the cook any happier.
"Got any problem about it, Mister?!" Kurapica glared at Illumi.
"Lots," was Illumi's reply. "There are egg shells in the stew, you forgot to peel the carrots, and - "
Kurapica's fist rose in the air, shivering, and before anyone knew, Hisoka was kicked out of the Hunters' room, followed by Illumi and Leorio. "Why~ Meeee~????" Leorio yelled as he flew out of the door. Kurapica stuck out his tongue and replied, "You deserved that."
Gon took a bite of the crispy - burned - part of the stew and spit it out quickly. "Beh," he stuck out his tongue. "Yuck!!" he and Killua said at the same time. Kurapica was not happy at all. He threw Gon and Killua out of the room also, and slammed the door behind him. He groaned as he saw the leftovers on the table - but he understood why as he tasted his own cooking himself. He felt a chill run down his spine, and dumped the whole pot down the sink.
"We should really get a decent cook," he admitted.
** tsuzuku.... **
[T_T I'm tired. *yawns* Sorry for those of you who'd actually taken the time to read this whole chapter.... ^^;; I admit this chapter wasn't as good =P Flamethrowers accepted only for this chapter - but please be gentle, okie?]
[Disclaimers/Note: I do not own any of the HxH characters. OOCness can be expected in the story.]
** Case 4 : The Case of the Mysterious Kidnapper **
"Gon, dinner's ready!" called Kurapica. He walked over to the small balcony and looked down, but Gon was nowhere to be seen. He looked around, but no luck in finding the boy with spiky hair. "He'd probably gone somewhere with Killua," Kurapica decided. "They'll come back when they're hungry."
"Hurry up, Kurapica," Leorio's complaint came from the dining room. "I'm hungry!!" He was sitting in a chair in front of their round, white dining table, and waited impatiently for Kurapica and the others. He had a dark blue napkin around his neck, and a fork and a knife in each of his hands, ready to eat. "Kurapica!!" he yelled, seeing that Kurapica wasn't coming. "Don't mind those kids, they're probably wondering around in the forest. What's for dinner?"
Kurapica sighed as he came to join Leorio in the dining room. "I guess we can start eating without them," he told himself, and went to the kitchen to get the food he'd prepared. Just as he went through the drawers to look for a wood spoon to serve their dinner, he heard another yelling.
"Kurapica!! Did you burn the food again?!" Complaint of a young man came from the living room. He walked over to the kitchen lazily, and took off the lid of an overflowing pot. "What is this thing, Kurapica?" His expression changed suddenly as he saw what was inside.
"Huh?" Kurapica turned to Killua with a surprised expression, and found Killua frowning at the pot - something inside the pot, actually. "Killua? I thought you were with Gon!" He stopped searching for the wooden spoon, and waited for Killua's response.
Killua blinked. "Gon? I thought he went outside to get the mail or something," replied Killua, still frowning. "He'll be back soon, I think. Anyway, don't tell me we're having this.... brownish black thing for dinner!"
Kurapica blinked, too. He was ready to smash Killua on the head with his frying pan for criticizing his cooking, which was supposed to be cream stew, but he was more worried about Gon. He hadn't seen Gon since he went outside for some fresh air that afternoon. Where could he have been all these hours? "I'm worried about Gon," said Kurapica. "He would've told us where he was going. He wouldn't worry us like this."
"You're right," added Killua. "If Gon went to the forest, he'd have asked me. Why would he go alone?"
Leorio came into the kitchen slowly, the napkin still around his neck. "Maybe he has a surprise or something," he said. "He might be preparing something for us, for a birthday present or something."
"But.... it doesn't hurt to at least go look for him in the neighbourhood, does it?" suggested Kurapica, and so, despite Leorio's complaints about how hungry he was, the three split up and walked down the streets to look for the missing child. However, they had no luck in finding him, after calling out his name and asking people of the neighbourhood if they'd seen him.
"Any sign of Gon?" asked Leorio as the three met back at their apartment room. "I'm hungry," he added, and Kurapica glared at him. "What! I am hungry, you know. I haven't eaten anything."
Killua gave Leorio an almost too friendly smile, which made Leorio back off and be quiet about dinner. "We haven't found Gon, and you're still thinking of dinner?!" Leorio backed off some more, as Killua got even closer. "If you don't find Gon, I won't let you eat anything!"
"Killua!" Kurapica tried to hold Killua and kept him away from Leorio. "Let's try looking for him again, okay?"
Leorio sighed, "....fine."
As the three were about to split up again, they were stopped by a very uncomfortable laughter coming from a room in the apartment building. The silhouette of a tall man came in sight as the streetlights came on. Even before the man drew away the curtain, the Hunters were able to tell that he was their friendly neighbour - Detective Hisoka.
"Looking for someone?" laughed the clown. Then, he clapped his hands together and said, "ooooh, I know who you're looking for!!"
"Hisoka!!" yelled Killua. "I'll bet you're the one who kidnapped Gon!! Give him back right now or else!"
Hisoka opened the window and jumped down, landing by the Hunters. The Hunters became cautious and were ready for an attack as the clown came closer. "Aw, don't worry," the clown giggled with amusement. "I don't have him, but I'm here to help you look for him."
The Hunters sweatdropped as they heard that. "You WHAT?!" Leorio made a face. They didn't believe, that once again, the maniac clown was getting into their business.
"Let's start, shall we?" Detective Hisoka pulled out a small notebook and a pen out of nowhere. Since he was a magician, it wasn't difficult for him to do so. "I believe we've encountered a similar problem before, haven't we? Gon-chan was dead, and the amazing Detective Hisoka made him come back to life."
"Er.... I don't think that's how it was," Kurapica sweatdropped. "But anyway, let's start with the investigation." Just as he finished saying that, he slapped his forehead and thought to himself, what was he saying?! He did not believe he was actually encouraging the clown.
"Okay, who saw him last?" asked Hisoka. "When, and where?"
"I think he was last seen by Killua," Leorio answered. "Remember you said you saw Gon getting the mail?" he turned to Killua, who paused to think for a moment. "Yeah, that's right. He said he was going to go get the mail, and I said I'd go with him, but he said he could manage it by himself.... And he never came back after that."
"Aha!!" Hisoka exclaimed. "I know what happened!!"
The Hunters turned to Hisoka, some were thinking that Hisoka was finally getting better in this detective business. "Really?!" Killua wanted to know. "What happened to him?!"
"You," Hisoka turned and pointed at Killua. Killua gasped. "Killua, you followed Gon to the mailbox!!" Killua frowned - Hisoka wasn't getting better at all. "You followed Gon to the mailbox. You're an assassin - that should've been easy to do without getting Gon to notice you. Once Gon opened the mailbox, you run to him, and killed him. All you had to do after that was to squish his body into the mailbox so no one would find him...." Hisoka looked pleased at his own sleuthing work, and penned down his theory of Killua killing Gon.
The Hunters sweatdropped again and were stunned to hear Hisoka's explanation. Of course, they didn't believe a word Hisoka said. "Er.... I don't think a twelve-yr-old boy would fit into a mailbox," commented Leorio.
"And why would I kill Gon and squish him into a mailbox?" Killua looked annoyed. He shook his head and chuckled in ridicule. "Come on, even Gon's hair won't fit into that small mailbox."
"Hmm....," Hisoka thought with amusement. "I'll bet the doctor-wannabe did this!"
Leorio gasped. "Me?!" He frowned as he pointed at himself. He could think of a thousand different reasons that backed up his theory of I-didn't-kill-Gon, but none of that made sense to Hisoka, it seemed. "Oh, come on. Gon's my buddy. Why would I do anything to harm him?"
"Then it must be the Kuruta boy!" Hisoka stated, and a vein popped up on Kurapica's head. "You kidnapped Gon and hid him somewhere, so that you can demand for ransom from his Aunt - Mito, was it?"
"Huh?" Kurapica's brow twitched. "I'd be more logical, Hisoka. If I was to kidnap someone, I'd choose someone rich, someone whose family would pay me the money for ransom for sure." He crossed his arms, and waited for Hisoka's response, as he hoped Hisoka wouldn't go on accusing him. "Unless it's someone I really hate," he added in a low voice, his eyes turning scarlet.
But to his surprise, Hisoka had a worried expression on his face. His hands covered his face, and like a frightened child, he said, "Y-you aren't planning to kidnap me, are you? I mean, I am rich, but...." The Hunters gawped at him, and laughed nervously as Hisoka changed his expression and continued, "Ooooh, I'm just kidding!! Relax, Kuruta boy!"
"Stop calling me that," Kurapica's eyes became scarlet again. "And weren't you supposed to be investigating the case?!"
"Oh, yes.... where was I?" Hisoka put his hand on his chin, looked down and thought for a moment. He seemed to be trying very hard to remember where he was, so that he could solve the case. However, Leorio had already fallen asleep while he was thinking, and Killua sat down under a nearby tree by the street. This 'moment', obviously, was getting awfully long.
Kurapica sighed as he saw Killua falling asleep also, and turned his attention to Hisoka again. "Hello!" he said. "Are you still thinking, Hisoka?"
To that, Hisoka looked up and responded, "Oh, yes.... I was daydreaming about going on a date with Machi. How should I ask her? 'Machi, dear, would you like to go for dinner with me?' or 'Hey baby! Let's go grab a burger!'?"
Either one of the two questions was too unlike Hisoka, Kurapica thought. Silently, he wondered where Hisoka had came up with those, but he decided he didn't want to know. "I don't care about your stupid date," was Kurapica's sharp reply. "Are you sure you can handle this case? Because I think I can do without your so-called detective work."
"Oh, come on, Kuruta boy? I promise the great Detective Hisoka will find out what really happened!!" Hisoka said, in his weird tone of voice. He might have been begging, but with that voice, he sounded rather evil.
"Whatever, Hisoka," Kurapica rolled his eyes. "I'd rather find him all by myself."
"And how are you going to do that?" Hisoka asked curiously.
One of Kurapica's chains came out of his sleeve, and swung back and forth in midair. "With my Dowsing Chain," he replied. "Leorio, can you get a map from my room?" he turned to Leorio, but Leorio was asleep. Kurapica didn't know whether he should yell at Leorio for falling asleep at a time like this, or praise him for his ability of sleeping while standing still. "Never mind. Killua, can you do that?"
Killua's eyes opened slowly - he had fallen asleep as well - and nodded, and jumped up the apartment building, crushing through the glass door into the living room. Few moments later, he was back with a book of maps. "Here you go, Kurapica," he said as he jumped down the balcony.
Kurapica opened the book, but closed it immediately. He blinked few times and turned to Killua, who looked puzzled. "K-Killua.... where did you get this from?"
"Huh?" Killua replied casually. "It was in Leorio's room. I couldn't find yours, so I thought we'd borrow Leorio's roadmap." He saw that Kurapica's expression wasn't changing - he was stunned at 'something'. Something he saw in the book, Killua decided. "What's wrong with it?" Killua grabbed the book from Kurapica, and flipped it through.
Inside the cover of a roadmap, the pages were filled with pictures of girls in bikinis. Killua couldn't help but laugh out loud, "Pwahahahaha.... That perverted guy....," he said as he laughed, until he could laugh no more. "Oh, man.... I didn't know Leorio kept these pictures in a roadmap!!" Killua continued to laugh until he started choking, and even after that, he started laughing out loud every time he saw Leorio.
Kurapica shook his head, but Hisoka looked rather amused. "Kukuku.... you kids are so funny," he laughed. "I guess your chain won't work, huh? Now it's up to the great detective!! And I think I know who did this!!"
"Here we go again," Killua said, and added sarcastically, "well then, tell us, O Great One, who did what to Gon, and where is Gon right now?"
"The kidnapper is among us," Hisoka giggled, and Killua and Kurapica shivered. "It's him!!" He pointed at Leorio suddenly, and Leorio was snapped back to reality.
"W-what?!" he blinked as he looked at Hisoka and the others.
"According to my notes on the last cases," Hisoka flipped through his little notebook. "You are jealous of Gon-chan because he's much younger than you." He flipped few pages and continued, "Without the youngest one, people wouldn't compare your age with his."
"Why should I be concerned with my age?!" Leorio looked annoyed.
"Well, your friends used to call you 'old guy', right?" Hisoka asked. "Right?" he repeated.
"Er....," Leorio sweatdropped. He didn't want to admit it, but he was a bit concerned with people thinking he was about thirty. "B-but there are lots of people younger than Gon!! Why would I kill him only?!"
"Tricky question," Hisoka went through his notes again. "Probably because you four are the closest, and you haven't the power to kill Killua. Gon-chan's too naive to notice your evil nature." Hisoka giggled again as he saw Leorio's face going red with anger. "Oh," Hisoka added. "And you were the only one sleeping while the others worked hard to try to look for Gon-chan. Obviously, you don't care."
"Of course I care!!" Leorio raised his voice. "It's not my fault you took so long to think of what we were talking about!!" He then turned to Kurapica, with an annoyed look on his face. "And YOU," his brow twitched. "You never gave me dinner!!"
Hisoka put a hand on his forehead, as if he had a terrible headache. "You're confusing me," he said rather softly. "Wait here - I'll have my assistant help me with the case."
The Hunters waited while he called his assistant Illumi, who glanced out the window from the apartment building just beside the sidewalk they were on. Hisoka asked him to come over right away, and he did - just like Killua, he opened the window and jumped down, making a soft landing beside Hisoka.
"What do you need?" he asked. "Is it another weird case?"
Hisoka explained to Illumi the situation, and all the data he'd collected - which, obviously, came out of his imagination. Illumi took out his notebook, too, and jotted down the points, which he thought were important. The fact was, that this sidekick of Hisoka's wasn't any better than Hisoka himself.
"So, what do you think, Illumi?" Hisoka wanted to know.
Illumi put his hand on his chin and thought the whole thing through. After few moments of silence, he decided, "I think Gon is still alive." Surprised, the Hunters closed in.
"He is?! Where could he be then?!" Leorio came closer to Illumi, who stood still. "Come on, tell us!!"
"Well, I don't know where he is, but if he was dead, his spirit would've came out and responded when you guys called," Illumi explained reasonably. "So, my guess is that he's still alive - only he was kidnapped and locked up somewhere."
"If he was kidnapped, why didn't anyone call and ask for money?" Leorio asked. His head was filled with money - no other things came to his mind when he heard the word, 'kidnapped'.
"Could it be possible that someone hates us, and want to get back at us for something?" suggested Killua, thinking about his explanation. Sadly, he wasn't able to come up with anyone who could've hated them that much. Gon was a very nice guy, and no one could come up with any reason how anyone could possibly hate Gon.
Kurapica had a different theory from any of the others. "Well.... he or she - or they - might be after the Hunter cards," he said. "Whoever it was must have been strong, because kidnapping Gon isn't an easy job." To that, Leorio and Killua turned to Illumi with doubtful looks on their faces. The assassin - I mean assistant detective - looked puzzled, but knew the two were suspecting him of kidnapping their friend. "Why would I kidnap Gon?" Illumi asked calmly.
"Well, for one thing, you would want your little brother back home," Leorio explained. "If Gon was gone, Killua would most likely go back home, right?" Killua shrugged. "And for another reason, you like his Aunt Mito!!"
Kurapica, who nodded in agreement to the first part of Leorio's reasoning, stared dumbly at Leorio as he said the second part. "He WHAT?!" Kurapica exclaimed. "What's the connection here?!"
Leorio laughed out loud proudly and explained, "Well, he could've kidnapped Gon and then gotten him back to Aunt Mito, and claim that he saved Gon. That way Aunt Mito would go, 'My Hero....!'" Leorio put his hands together and flattered his eyes, which made the others cough and turn away in disgust. "What!! I was just showing you guys how Aunt Mito would react!!" Leorio complained.
Leorio should've seen himself, Killua thought and sweatdropped. He covered his mouth and jumped up onto the balcony. "Hey Killua!!" Leorio called impatiently. "Where are you going?"
"I think he went to throw up, Leorio," Kurapica eyed Leorio, and Leorio gave him a 'hey!!' expression. But before Leorio could throw insults at Kurapica, the Great Detective stepped in.
"I think," he said. "Killua ran away because he's the one who'd kidnapped Gon!! He doesn't want to get caught, so he ran away!!"
"B-but why would he?!" Leorio asked. He looked shocked to hear what Hisoka had just said. Kurapica, who stood beside him, said to him, "Don't tell me you actually believe him, Leorio." Leorio sweatdropped.
"So, it's another case solved by us!!" Hisoka had his hands on his hips, cheering proudly. Kurapica and Leorio gave him a 'yeah right' expression. "Now let's go catch that kidnapper!!" Before anyone could stop him (not that anyone could actually stop him), the Great Detective and his assistant jumped up onto the balcony and ran into the room. Kurapica and Leorio went after them by the stairs.
* * * *
In the bathroom, Killua was washing his face. He looked into the mirror and noticed two unpleasant figures. He turned, and saw that they were the Detective and his assistant. "What do you want?" Killua turned around.
"We all know what really happened now," Hisoka stepped forward. "You don't have to pretend."
Killua took a towel in his hands and asked, "Pretend what? Tell me what happened!!"
Hisoka started laughing like a maniac, and pointed at Killua, who had a confused expression on his face. "We'll tie him up and let the police take care of him." Illumi nodded and held Killua so that he couldn't move, and Hisoka used his Bungee Gum to keep him from moving. "There. Now all we need to do are," Hisoka turned to Illumi. "Illumi, you call the police, and I'll ask where Gon-chan is."
"Hisoka you moron!! You've got the wrong guy!!" Killua yelled, but Hisoka only laughed. "I told you already I don't know anything!! Are you even listening?!"
Kurapica and Leorio arrived just then. They rushed into the bathroom, where Killua was held as the primary suspect. The two heard Hisoka question Killua, and Killua's yelling 'I told you I didn't do anything wrong'.
"Killua, this is your last chance to answer me," Hisoka's expression turned serious. "Answer me right now," he glared at Killua, and Killua froze on the spot. Kurapica and Leorio looked at the two, expecting Hisoka to say something unpleasant. "Or I'll tickle you!!" Hisoka threatened him. Kurapica and Leorio sweatdropped and fell backwards in relief, since they'd expected Hisoka to do something more harmful.
"No.... please.... anything but that," Killua begged as Hisoka came closer to him. "I-I really don't know anything!!"
"Know what?" Came a voice from the living room. The three Hunters and the two detectives turned right away, and ran to the living room, leaving Killua behind. He couldn't move because of the Bungee Gum.
"G-G-Gon....," Leorio's eyes were round. Kurapica ran to Gon and hugged him. However, Gon's whole body was wet - from head to toe. His hair was like the leaves on a coconut tree, since Gon had gotten it wet. "What happened to you?! You're so wet!!"
"Well....," Gon sweatdropped as Kurapica brought a bath towel for him. "Today, I went to get the mail, and I found one from Aunt Mito." The others nodded, ignoring Killua's yelling. "I went to read it in the balcony, but the wind blew it away. So I reached out to the letter, but I fell from the balcony, you see."
"Ouch!" Leorio shivered. The others glared at him. "Sorry," Leorio stuck out his tongue.
"Anyway, I fell from the balcony and there was a manhole with its cover open. I fell in there, and it washed me to a dam, which had a crack in it, and it broke. So I was washed to the ocean," Gon explained as he wiped his face with the towel. "From there I had to swim all the way back to the dam, then I had to walk back here."
Nothing but silence followed Gon's explanations. It was very unexpected, even the Great Detective was impressed. "So there! Gon's back now!!" Hisoka smiled. "Now pay us." Leorio's eyebrow twitched again.
"Well, Mr Detective," Leorio smiled painfully. "And his great assistant. Thank you so much for your effort, even though you didn't actually find Gon. Now, to thank you properly, why don't you have dinner with us here?"
Hisoka, unaware of what Leorio had in mind, turned to Illumi and nodded. "Sure," he said. Leorio smiled evilly this time, at Kurapica, who looked puzzled.
As everyone sat down in the dining room, Leorio brought in a re-heated pot of (black - burned) stew. He started serving the stew, and Kurapica called him over. 'What's the meaning of this?!' he whispered.
'Relax, Kurapica,' Leorio whispered back. 'Once they eat this awful food, they'll leave us alone!! We're so poor we can't even find a proper cook to cook for us! He can't ask for money then.' Leorio smiled as he thought of his brilliant plan.
But Kurapica's fist ended up on his head as soon as he finished his sentence. "Can't find a proper cook, huh?" he raised his eyebrow. "I'd like to see you cook for yourself." Kurapica turned and walked away as Leorio sank onto the floor. Stars were circulating the air above his head.
* * * *
Hisoka scooped up a spoonful of.... er.... cream stew, and put it slowly in his mouth. "Hmm....," he said as he tasted the stew carefully. Leorio, Kurapica and Killua watched the Detective and his assistant carefully and nervously. "Hey," Hisoka's lips curled up into a smile, and the Hunters shivered. "This stuff is actually edible," he said.
Sighs of relief came from the Hunters, until Illumi pushed the bowl further from him toward the middle of the table. "What is this?" he asked calmly. "First of all, I can't tell what it is. Second, there's too much salt. Third, there's too much cream...." Illumi was picky about food, since he was from a rich family. This did not make the cook any happier.
"Got any problem about it, Mister?!" Kurapica glared at Illumi.
"Lots," was Illumi's reply. "There are egg shells in the stew, you forgot to peel the carrots, and - "
Kurapica's fist rose in the air, shivering, and before anyone knew, Hisoka was kicked out of the Hunters' room, followed by Illumi and Leorio. "Why~ Meeee~????" Leorio yelled as he flew out of the door. Kurapica stuck out his tongue and replied, "You deserved that."
Gon took a bite of the crispy - burned - part of the stew and spit it out quickly. "Beh," he stuck out his tongue. "Yuck!!" he and Killua said at the same time. Kurapica was not happy at all. He threw Gon and Killua out of the room also, and slammed the door behind him. He groaned as he saw the leftovers on the table - but he understood why as he tasted his own cooking himself. He felt a chill run down his spine, and dumped the whole pot down the sink.
"We should really get a decent cook," he admitted.
** tsuzuku.... **
[T_T I'm tired. *yawns* Sorry for those of you who'd actually taken the time to read this whole chapter.... ^^;; I admit this chapter wasn't as good =P Flamethrowers accepted only for this chapter - but please be gentle, okie?]