Chapter 2-Chug
First thing I noticed when we went through the portal was that we were falling. Just after I noticed we were falling, I noticed that we were going to land in a really big tree.
"Ow! That freakin' hurt!" I said when I hit. Then Brendan hit. He made a loud "umph" sound and we laid in the tree for a second. Then the tree started tipping.
"Oh, shit-beans" I heard Brendan say. When the tree finally landed, we rolled for a little bit and I got up.
"You ok?" I asked. I helped Brendan up and we dusted ourselves off.
"I guess we are back in Kansas again, Toto," I said, "I mean, look at all of these cows!" I looked up and saw Brendan glaring at me.
"Oh, come on, it was either that or get the shit beat out of you," I said
"That's good, because I can see how being in the TWENTY THIRD DIMENSION is a lot better!" Brendan yelled.
"Yea, I can see your point there."
"Man, you really are a fuck-tard!"
"What the hell is I fuck-tard?" We both started laughing.
"Well, I guess it can't be that bad," Brendan said, "at least I'm here with you, you fuck-tard" I smiled at him.
"Halt! Put your hands above your heads!" I turned around with my hands in the air. Then I saw who was giving the orders. It was a shorter man dressed in full armor sitting on a horse. Now when I say armor, I mean full suit of armor, like one you would see in a big mansion. There was another man dressed the same way, sitting on another horse behind him. Behind the two men was a large horse drawn cart, which was stuck because the tree we had landed on fell on the road, not letting the large cart pass. After surveying the men and cart, I stood there and then just started laughing.
"Doest thou mock me?" the first man asked. Brendan nudged me hard in the ribs and I brought my laughter down to a snicker.
"Kind sir, we mock only because it is our job, you see, we are jesters. Please, what is the name of your lord, for we wish to be a member of his court," Brendan cut in.
"Oh, uhhh, right, yea, we are jesters." I said uncertainly.
"Ha, you will never be a member of Lord Ramathaim's court, for you are a traitor of this land!" the short man jumped off of his horse and came toward me. Grabbing me roughly by the arm, He picked me up and tossed me into the cart. I tried to fight but he was too strong. A couple seconds later, Brendan landed next to me. I door to the cart was slammed, and we started moving. I looked around me and saw a large pile of swords and daggers in the back of the cart.
"They aren't too bright, are they?" I asked, "We can just cut out way out of here, this thing is made of wood!"
"No, look," Brendan said, jabbing a dagger into the bottom of the cart,"the whole thing is metal lined, so it's protected from flaming arrows.
"How do you know this?" I asked.
"I did a report on knights in the fourth grade."
"And you remember any of it? Man, kid, you have no life." I smiled at him," Ok, how do we get out of here then?"
"Well, empty your pockets." I proceeded to do so.
"This is sad, all we have is a miniature Swiss Army knife, $22.43, and a few library and bank cards. Great, this is just peachy." I said
"Well, I its not my fault, I left my get out of a twenty third dimension cart kit in my other pants." I crawled over to the cart door. I looked down at the lock.
"We're in luck, they are dumb! It's only a cheap wooden latch on the door, I we just give it a good kick," I laid on my back, and kicked at the door with all of my strength. I heard a crack, but the lock held.
"Here, give me a hand. Or a foot. Just help." I said he laid down next to me.
"Ok, on three. One, two" I started
"Wait, on three, or three and then go?"
"On three, it's always faster to go on three." I said, "Ok, one, two, three." The two of us kicked and the door went flying.
"Here, take this!" Brendan said, handing me a small dagger. I strapped it to the inside of my leg. I picked up a piece of the door and looked at Brendan.
"I have an idea," I said. I climbed up onto the top of the cart, the wind blowing my hair all over my face. I looked over to the short man on the horse, riding next to us, totally oblivious to everything. I crouched and jumped, landing on the horse, behind the knight. He definitely noticed that. But before he even had a chance to do anything, I had ripped of his helmet, and slammed the wood chunk on his head, knocking him out. I pushed him off the horse and grabbed the rains and steered the horse to the back of the cart. Brendan jumped on behind me and I slowed the horse, letting the cart and horsemen ride off into the horizon.
"Now are you glad your mom made you take riding lessons?" Brendan asked me.
"You have no idea," I said, grinning. My heart had never beat so quickly; I could hear it pounding away in my chest.
"Wow, that was fun!" I said.
"I say we go the other way, away from the knights that really don't like us anymore." Brendan said.
"Yea, I'm going to have to agree with you there," I said, turning the horse around. We cantered off. We were riding for a while, when we reached a fork in the road.
"Uhhh, what do we do? Left, right, or strait?" Brendan asked.
"Some quick scientific research." I picked up a small pebble and dropped it on a larger rock. The rock bounced left.
"Ok, we go in the middle."
"Huh? What was the whole rock thing then?" Brendan asked, confused.
"I dunno, I didn't feel like going to the left."
"Whatever, lets go." I got back on the horse and we started off at a slow trot. It wasn't long after that we heard another voice.
"Halt, who goes there?"
"Uhhh," I whined, "not again."
First thing I noticed when we went through the portal was that we were falling. Just after I noticed we were falling, I noticed that we were going to land in a really big tree.
"Ow! That freakin' hurt!" I said when I hit. Then Brendan hit. He made a loud "umph" sound and we laid in the tree for a second. Then the tree started tipping.
"Oh, shit-beans" I heard Brendan say. When the tree finally landed, we rolled for a little bit and I got up.
"You ok?" I asked. I helped Brendan up and we dusted ourselves off.
"I guess we are back in Kansas again, Toto," I said, "I mean, look at all of these cows!" I looked up and saw Brendan glaring at me.
"Oh, come on, it was either that or get the shit beat out of you," I said
"That's good, because I can see how being in the TWENTY THIRD DIMENSION is a lot better!" Brendan yelled.
"Yea, I can see your point there."
"Man, you really are a fuck-tard!"
"What the hell is I fuck-tard?" We both started laughing.
"Well, I guess it can't be that bad," Brendan said, "at least I'm here with you, you fuck-tard" I smiled at him.
"Halt! Put your hands above your heads!" I turned around with my hands in the air. Then I saw who was giving the orders. It was a shorter man dressed in full armor sitting on a horse. Now when I say armor, I mean full suit of armor, like one you would see in a big mansion. There was another man dressed the same way, sitting on another horse behind him. Behind the two men was a large horse drawn cart, which was stuck because the tree we had landed on fell on the road, not letting the large cart pass. After surveying the men and cart, I stood there and then just started laughing.
"Doest thou mock me?" the first man asked. Brendan nudged me hard in the ribs and I brought my laughter down to a snicker.
"Kind sir, we mock only because it is our job, you see, we are jesters. Please, what is the name of your lord, for we wish to be a member of his court," Brendan cut in.
"Oh, uhhh, right, yea, we are jesters." I said uncertainly.
"Ha, you will never be a member of Lord Ramathaim's court, for you are a traitor of this land!" the short man jumped off of his horse and came toward me. Grabbing me roughly by the arm, He picked me up and tossed me into the cart. I tried to fight but he was too strong. A couple seconds later, Brendan landed next to me. I door to the cart was slammed, and we started moving. I looked around me and saw a large pile of swords and daggers in the back of the cart.
"They aren't too bright, are they?" I asked, "We can just cut out way out of here, this thing is made of wood!"
"No, look," Brendan said, jabbing a dagger into the bottom of the cart,"the whole thing is metal lined, so it's protected from flaming arrows.
"How do you know this?" I asked.
"I did a report on knights in the fourth grade."
"And you remember any of it? Man, kid, you have no life." I smiled at him," Ok, how do we get out of here then?"
"Well, empty your pockets." I proceeded to do so.
"This is sad, all we have is a miniature Swiss Army knife, $22.43, and a few library and bank cards. Great, this is just peachy." I said
"Well, I its not my fault, I left my get out of a twenty third dimension cart kit in my other pants." I crawled over to the cart door. I looked down at the lock.
"We're in luck, they are dumb! It's only a cheap wooden latch on the door, I we just give it a good kick," I laid on my back, and kicked at the door with all of my strength. I heard a crack, but the lock held.
"Here, give me a hand. Or a foot. Just help." I said he laid down next to me.
"Ok, on three. One, two" I started
"Wait, on three, or three and then go?"
"On three, it's always faster to go on three." I said, "Ok, one, two, three." The two of us kicked and the door went flying.
"Here, take this!" Brendan said, handing me a small dagger. I strapped it to the inside of my leg. I picked up a piece of the door and looked at Brendan.
"I have an idea," I said. I climbed up onto the top of the cart, the wind blowing my hair all over my face. I looked over to the short man on the horse, riding next to us, totally oblivious to everything. I crouched and jumped, landing on the horse, behind the knight. He definitely noticed that. But before he even had a chance to do anything, I had ripped of his helmet, and slammed the wood chunk on his head, knocking him out. I pushed him off the horse and grabbed the rains and steered the horse to the back of the cart. Brendan jumped on behind me and I slowed the horse, letting the cart and horsemen ride off into the horizon.
"Now are you glad your mom made you take riding lessons?" Brendan asked me.
"You have no idea," I said, grinning. My heart had never beat so quickly; I could hear it pounding away in my chest.
"Wow, that was fun!" I said.
"I say we go the other way, away from the knights that really don't like us anymore." Brendan said.
"Yea, I'm going to have to agree with you there," I said, turning the horse around. We cantered off. We were riding for a while, when we reached a fork in the road.
"Uhhh, what do we do? Left, right, or strait?" Brendan asked.
"Some quick scientific research." I picked up a small pebble and dropped it on a larger rock. The rock bounced left.
"Ok, we go in the middle."
"Huh? What was the whole rock thing then?" Brendan asked, confused.
"I dunno, I didn't feel like going to the left."
"Whatever, lets go." I got back on the horse and we started off at a slow trot. It wasn't long after that we heard another voice.
"Halt, who goes there?"
"Uhhh," I whined, "not again."