Proud of My Loneliness
~Part: 5~
He was alone now, nothing to bother him at all, he would no longer be hurt by anyone, or anything…this was his paradise, his isolation, his loneliness.
"And I'm proud of it," he said to himself, he was curled up into a ball, hugging his knees up to his chest, as he buried his face within them, "all alone, and no longer affected by anyone…nothing can hurt me now," he continued to say, then trailed off, as though expecting an answer, but none came, only the empty silence. He could feel his mood become sombre, as he thought about whether he truly liked the idea of being on his own, it was kind of frightening, being separated from other people in such a way, especially since he had not done this while imprisoned in that mountain for five-hundred years.
"Are you happy…Goku?" came the calm, uncertain tones of the violet-eyed man, the man that had caused him the greatest amount of pain compared to any other he had experienced. He did not open his eyes, but continued to stay in that curled up form, "I guess…you have a right to be angry…but this is no way t-"
"How is it that you're here…in my realm?" the young man asked, not raising his head, nor shifting position in any way.
"Goku…" Sanzo began again, letting the question fly by, "listen to me…this is no way to sort out your problems, you have to underst-"
"Answer the question…or you will die here," he interrupted, his voice becoming harsher, as it gained a double-tone. Sanzo stepped back in surprise, this wasn't the Goku he knew, he had never spoken, nor threatened like that, ever.
"Hey, what're you talking about? What do you mean, that I'll die here?" he asked, still ignoring the question that had become an order. Somehow, he managed to keep himself calm and composed as ever, but was taken by surprise as thick vine-like strands whipped out from the ground, seeming to take shape from it. The vines wrapped about his wrists and ankles, holding him up as though on a cross.
"I warned you Sanzo…you should have listened…" the youth sighed, as he slowly came up to his feet, a cold, dark aura surrounding his teenage form. He turned about slowly, placing his cold, empty eyes upon the immobilised man, and began to walk towards him, stopping until there was only a foot between them, "I warned you…" he repeated, his tone hinting at a pain he did not wish to reveal. Sanzo gazed at the youkai, his expression indifferent, as he remained calm.
"Are you happy…Son Goku…are you proud of this loneliness?" he asked, his voice coming out in a cold whisper, as his violet-eyed gaze hardened. For a moment, he swore he could see the surprise in the teens face, but it had disappeared before it had registered itself.
"Yes…" he replied, an empty smile forming on his lips, "Yes…I am happy…and I am proud…" Sanzo bore his eyes into Goku's, his gaze becoming cold and disgusted.
"You don't sound like it…tell me, why…why are you so happy, when only moments ago I sensed you weren't the least bit satisfied," he sneered, drawing up the line of his lips, so that his nose wrinkled. A spark of anger flashed through the young man, and he drew back a fist, preparing to land it somewhere on the helpless robed figure before him, "that's it, you dumb bastard, hit me…I know you want to, so do it, yo-" his world flashed white with shock, as he felt the teenager land a powerful blow across his face, a sudden burst of iron coating his taste buds, as he drew his head back up. A mocking smile played on his face, as blood seeped out through the corner of his mouth, and he laughed.
"Shut up! You fucked up monk! I said shut it!" he roared, driving the wind out of Sanzo, as he rushed into him headlong, breaking the bonds that tied him, then landing on the hard surface of his dark realm. He continued to punch him, crying out with each blow, only to be further enraged with the passive acceptance of the punishment the other was receiving. "I'm happier this way! Much happier than I was with you!" he sobbed, feeling the rage begin to leave him slowly, "Much happier…" he whimpered as he slumped forward, hunched over on top of the violet-eyed man. Sanzo lay there, watching as the young man cried tears of anger, sorrow, pain, every negative emotion he had ever felt, he lay there silently, the painful blows having clouded his mind, only god knew how he managed to keep from crying out and, manage to keep a straight face.
"Goku…" he whispered, calling the dark-haired youkai's name softly, "Goku…look at me…" he urged, and the teen obliged, looking up, his hands curled into knuckles that were pressed against his lips, as his empty, yet tear-filled eyes looked upon the beaten face, then froze. He looked into those violet eyes, framed ever so elegantly, even after this ordeal, by the amazing golden hairs that mirrored the Sun. Those eyes that looked into his, were different to the ones he had grown accustomed to…they seemed closer to the eyes he had seen when they had first met, the veil over them faltering for a moment, but now the veil was completely gone. Goku sniffed, tried to make his voice work, but only a croak made its way out, forcing him into fresh tears, as he fell forward, placing his full weight upon the robed man beneath him. He sobbed for some time, before he suddenly felt the weight of Sanzo's arms wrap about his form, comforting him, only to break him into further tears.
"Sanzo…" he croaked, as his tears continued to flow, "I'm so sorry…" he said, his voice going down to a whisper, as he buried his face into the material at the older mans neck. He felt the blond strands brush his check and neck, and remembered how that had shone ever so enchantingly on that day, the day the monk had saved him from the darkness and introduced him to the world he now walked upon. It was all thanks to him that he was able to experience the wonders of this world, no longer chained in the darkness, but now a part of the light he was so denied for five-hundred, long isolating years. The monk tried his best to comfort the teen in his moment of sadness and despair; he drew him closer, his embrace becoming more protective, as he closed his eyes.