Babysitters' Club
Disclaimer: I own nothing that resembles Yu-Yu Hakusho. But I do own a '95 Oldsmobile Cutlass Ciera I like to call Oldie. (Though his real name is Oldie Tallgeese Four Crooked Headlights Kill Switch Shaguar Youko Baby Ciera.) Oh, and I sort of own Youko Nadiel and Youko Lis.
Rating: PG-13 for language, shounen-ai, and one very angry, very out of character koorime.
Pairings: Hiei x Kurama, Kuwabara x Yukina, Yusuke x Keiko, and a little Botan x Koenma
Timeline: The boys are roughly eighteen-ish, give or take. However, Raizen has not kicked the bucket, and Yusuke hasn't made any serious, long-term plans with Keiko yet. Oh yes, and Yukina is fully aware of her familial ties with one moody three-eyed fire demon.
Summary: Yukina is appointed temporary Reikai Tantei, though her first assignment is nothing but odd. With fuzzy little kitsune, grumpy grease-babies, jealous ex-girlfriends of a certain silver youko, more cameos than an episode of Saturday Night Live, a frazzled Koenma and no hope of an antidote in sight, she's going to need nerves of steel. Somebody's gonna owe this little koorime big time.
Notes: I know, this isn't a new concept. But as I speak, I don't think that I've ever seen Yukina in a major role in these kinds of fics. As far as I know, the task at hand is usually dumped on one of the Tantei members (most often Kurama) or at least Botan or Keiko. Yukina gets the shaft. So here's to you, Yukina, because you're cute and you don't get enough recognition!
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It was very nice of Genkai to put Yukina up in her temple. Of course, being able to live in the temple didn't come without cost, nothing came without a cost when working with Genkai. Yukina was required to maintain the general upkeep of the building, as well as do the menial housewifery, the cooking and laundry. But, for her services, Yukina was given a comfortable place to live and martial arts training…just in case some bastard tried to exploit her koorime powers again. For what it was worth, she was getting pretty damn good with her practice sword. Not too much longer and she could almost equal her surly brother Hiei.
"I'm going to Kyoto for a few weeks," Genkai said to her one day, as the young woman was laboring over a pot of soup. "I've got some unavoidable business to attend to, so I'm leaving you by yourself. The wards won't let anyone come within a half-mile of the place, you'll be perfectly safe."
Yukina nodded. "What if Yusuke and the others come to visit, Genkai-sensei?"
"They will let the dimwit and his friends in, but that's only because I couldn't get wards strong enough to keep them out. Besides, even if I could, Kuwabara's thick head would certainly be able to break through them."
Now, as much as Yukina respected Genkai and was grateful for everything the old woman had done for her and Team Urameshi, she couldn't have been more excited that the bat was getting out of her hair for the next couple of weeks. Jeez, if she'd wanted indentured servitude, she could have stayed with Tarukane and the Toguro brothers! Now maybe she and Kazuma-kun could go on that picnic she was promised…or maybe she could get Hiei to spar against her. Wouldn't that be a shock to his system, that his seemingly innocent baby sister could kick his ass, or at least give him a run for his money?
"Have a wonderful time, Genkai-sensei," she said, smiling genially. "Don't you worry about a thing, I'll take good care of the temple while you're away."
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Less than two hours after Genkai had left for Kyoto, Botan had come flying into the temple at a high rate of speed, kimono sleeves billowing in the air as she zipped through the open screen door on her oar.
"Yukina!" she hollered, jumping from the wooden paddle while it was still midair, kicking her sandals off in the process, as it was rude to have one's shoes on in a temple. The ruby-eyed young woman came around the corner, dressed in a pair of cutoff jeans and a billowy blouse, looking more like your average ningen girl than the koorime maiden that she was.
"Oh, hello Botan. I was just about to go see if Kazuma-kun wanted to take a walk with me and watch the fireflies and… is something the matter?"
Something obviously was the matter, gauging from the distressed expression on the ferry-girl's face, and the fact that she was wearing one of those baby backpacks ningen mothers called Snugglies, a dog crate in her hand as well.
"Congratulations, Yukina, you've been temporarily appointed Reikai Tantei of the Ningenkai!" she stated, putting on her usual cheery demeanor.
Yukina's brow furrowed. "Reikai Tantei? But Botan, Yusuke is the Reikai Tantei. Yusuke, and Kazuma-kun, and Kurama-san, and Hiei."
Botan nudged her toe at the floorboards. "Yes, well, an emergency has come up."
"Are they all right? Did something happen to Yusuke and the others?" Yukina asked.
"Sort of…it's a very long story, something that'll take more than just tonight to tell. But Koenma-sama has sent me to inform you of this, and to give you your first assignment, Yukina."
"My first assignment? But Botan, I can't be the Reikai Tantei! I couldn't fight a demon, not even a very small one. Please give the job to somebody else."
Botan giggled. "Oh, you don't have to chase down any demons or anything. Koenma-sama needs you to babysit. And you can't let anything happen to these two, it's very crucial that they stay in your sight at all times."
Yukina bit her lip. Babysitting? Perhaps chasing down a demon wouldn't be so bad after all.
"Right then," Botan said, unclipping the Snuggly. "Here's Yusuke, he's been asleep since we left the Reikai, and hopefully he'll sleep all night."
Yukina took the Snuggly hesitantly. "Yusuke?"
The blue-haired ferry pilot set the dog crate on the floor and opened the little metal gate, a silver fox kit bouncing out and immediately bounding over to Yukina, nuzzling her ankles. "And here's Kurama. He should be no trouble at all."
"Kurama?! Now wait a minute, just what's going on here, Botan? Is this your idea of a terrible prank? It's not that April Fools' Day thing Kazuma-kun was telling me about, is it?"
The frazzled Botan shook her head. "I wish it were. Please don't make this any more difficult than it already is, Yukina. As it is, I'm taking care of Kuwabara and Koenma-sama has to watch Hiei. I think you're getting the better end of the deal. I should go, I left Kuwabara with Koenma-sama and Hiei…I just hope they haven't killed each other yet."
"But Botan! I don't get it!" Yukina yelled angrily.
"I'll explain everything tomorrow, I promise! I'm not sure if Yusuke can eat solid food, but Kurama will be just fine with a little ground meat and some milk…but make sure you cook the meat, for the gods' sake! Good luck, Reikai Tantei, I'll see you tomorrow!"
Botan hopped back on her paddle and flew off, leaving Yukina screaming at her retreating form.
"Oh Botan, I'm going to get you for this! Botan! Botan, you can't just leave me!"
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Fortunately for Yukina, her frustrated cries didn't wake up the heavy lump of warmth that she was carrying around in the Snuggly. She wondered if it really was Yusuke, and if the hyperactive fox kit running rings around the temple was the quiet, sweet Kurama who seemed awfully fond of her brother. What's more, she wondered just where she was going to put the little body. Genkai definitely did not have cribs, and she worried that Yusuke…if it even was Yusuke…would wander off.
"Botan is so going to get it when she comes back here," she grumbled.
The little green-haired girl picked up a wicker laundry basket from the closet, stuffing a down bed-pad into it and lining the makeshift bassinet with clean linens. She lifted the tiny form out of the Snuggly and laid him down, staring agape at the sleeping figure. He wasn't much older than the toddler Koenma appeared to be, his green-black hair slicked back with two quarts of grease. And, most disturbingly of all, he seemed to be wearing a miniature mockery of a green junior high school uniform often seen on a certain loudmouthed Reikai Tantei.
"He looks like a little doll. I probably won't be saying that when he wakes up, but at least for now he's cute," Yukina mused. She would have ruffled his hair, but thought against it, considering how much pomade must be holding it down. "Now where'd that fox get to?"
Her question was answered with a small yip and the sound of paws skidding on recently washed floors. The little kit was sprawled in an ungainly heap on the floor, his bushy tails flipped up over his ears, and he stared up at her with big, watery golden eyes.
"You are absolutely adorable," she giggled, kneeling down to his level. The fluffy kitsune got back to his feet and pounced on her, licking her nose delicately. "Why Kurama-san! If Hiei ever caught you, you would be in serious trouble, you know."
He let out a warbling little bark, nothing like a fox of the Ningenkai would ever utter, and made a face that could be considered pouting. He peeked over Yukina's shoulder at the sleeping child, let out a satisfied-sounding purr, and darted off again, yapping like an excited puppy.
"At least you're behaving now. I can only hope Yusuke won't be a problem when he wakes up. And I can hope that Kazuma-kun and Hiei are giving Botan and Koenma-sama heaps of trouble for putting me through this."
She got up, dusted the fox fluff from her pants, and went to see if Genkai had anything in her refrigerator that would satisfy a hungry demon fox.
++
The koorime girl and her fluffy fox were sitting on the futon couch, Yukina idly flipping channels. The little Kurama kit had been treated to a saucer of strawberry ice cream, and was now daintily licking the last bits of pink from his silver muzzle. The temple was quiet, and that was the way Yukina liked it.
"NO! NO!"
Of course, golden silence never lasts long, not where Yusuke Urameshi is concerned. With a heavy sigh Yukina got up and trudged into the next room, where the laundry basket was. Kurama followed, not nearly as bouncy as he had been before he'd eaten.
"Yusuke? Are you all right?" Yukina asked, peeking into the room. The toddler was sitting straight up in the basket-cradle, screaming black and blue bloody murder.
"NO!" he yelled again, fists bunched up and glowing faintly blue with his ki. The green-haired girl ran to him, scooping the grease-baby up into her arms and bouncing him a little. Yusuke's scrunched up face relaxed a little. "Mm, 'Kina?"
"Hello there, Yusuke. Are you going to be all right now?" she inquired. "Or as all right as you can be, considering you're younger than Koenma-sama now."
Yusuke made a disgusted face. "Stupid Kwenma, baby."
There wasn't a doubt in Yukina's mind anymore. This was Yusuke Urameshi, and he was one unhappy toddler. She plopped him back into the basket, which put him at a prime level for Kurama to jump him and start nuzzling. Yusuke yanked one of his tails, causing the silver youko to yelp.
"No, K'rama! Not Hiei," he whined, the fox hiding behind Yukina's ankles.
"Yusuke, that wasn't nice. Kurama-san doesn't know any better, and besides, he's probably just saying that he's glad you're okay. So behave. As it is, I'm giving the both of you baths and putting you to bed. Tomorrow will be very busy no doubt, what with Koenma-sama probably wanting to find antidotes for whatever it is made you like this…"
"No bath!" Yusuke protested, hiding under the blankets, writhing like a fat little green caterpillar. Yukina simply picked up the whole basket and marched off to the bathtub, whistling for Kurama to follow. He let out a little squeal, bounding after her, still licking his muzzle. The ruby-eyed girl turned on the taps, testing the temperature and adjusting, testing and adjusting until the water was comfortably warm. The youko pup jumped in, splashing enthusiastically and voicing his approval.
"Glad you appreciate me, Kurama-san. Now come on, Yusuke. I'm sure you wouldn't be this finicky if it were Keiko offering to give you a bath," she commented, grabbing the squirming boy and dumping him into the tub, clothes and all. It took three counts of lather, rinse, and repeat before all of the hair pomade was washed clean of his dark hair, Yusuke scowling the entire time. Yukina wondered if it would be easier caring for her sometimes equally obstinate brother while she shampooed the silver foxling. Kurama wriggled his nose at the patch of piña colada scented bubbles that landed there. But Yusuke just couldn't be won over, and Yukina was beginning to think he was like this when he was a real infant. She'd have to ask Atsuko next time she saw her.
Two warm fluffy towels and a change of clothes for Yusuke…Yukina found a small jersey of hers that didn't fit too much like a dress on him…and it was back to the basket bed for the moody Reikai Tantei. She'd tried to fix up a similar bed for Kurama, but he wouldn't have it, and whimpered petulantly until she gave in and let the tiny youko sleep beside her on her pillow. He curled up into a little silver ball, tails over his nose, and fell asleep instantly. This caused for some clever maneuvering on Yukina's part, as she had to lie down without jostling her pillow too much.
"Good night, Kurama-san. Good night, Yusuke. Hopefully this will all be over tomorrow."
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TO BE CONTINUED…