SEE PART ONE FOR DISCLAIMER
~Chapter 2~
Only make-believe
If all of the strength and all of the courage
Come and lift me from this place
I know I could love you much better than this
Full of grace.
Sarah McLanlach - Full of Grace #Sam#
I wake first, early enough to beat the dawn. Laying in his arms as the sky turns from a deep blue to a colour glowing with the pale yellow of the morning sun, I realise how much this has come to mean to me, how much I need this. I don't even know if I could sleep without him now. We don't need kissing and whatnot when looks and his arms say it all. We depend on each other now, and we've come to respect and even love each other more for it. I don't really know why we haven't crossed that line yet; I guess we just don't need too.
The sun grows higher and brings with it Jack's awakening. A small breeze carrying a chill floats through the window and Jack draws me in closer to his chest, protecting his skin from the cold. As he takes a deep breath so close to my neck, it sends a tremor rolling down my spine like an avalanche.
"Morning," he yawns, releasing me slightly and stretching, then bringing his hand back to rub through his hair. I can't help but smile as I turn to look at him, he's hair confused as to its rightful place and his eyes still half closed with sleep. He always looks this way in the morning, so innocent and free from the troubles his hectic life exposes him to.
"Morning! We should make a move if you wanna beat the sun today." He nods and I pat his arm, leaving him to rouse as I roll over and leave the bed. "I'll make you some breakfast."
"You're an angel!" The words are said in a light tone but carry a hidden meaning. I take it at face value for now, its too early for encrypted messages.
*
Packing up our gear at first light, we move out and head for the mountains, which stretch, ice-covered tips high above the heavy grey, water-laden clouds. A thick white mist hovers above the hills and makes it difficult to see the land it covers. The mist and clouds merge, pierced only by those mountains; you'd have to stand on the shoulders of giants to reach the top. Hours pass with nothing more than mindless chit chat as the last of the summer sun gently heats the land and the mist lifts, condensing and adding to the ominous rain clouds that linger around the sun, threatening to close in on it and engulf it. I begin to wonder if we'll find anywhere to take shelter before the heavens open and we get a royal soaking.
Before I can even finish this thought, Jack is standing still, hand on to my shoulder, halting me and leading me to follow his gaze. A dark and creepy looking building.no, more of a fortress, looks down on us from its lookout point at the top of a steep slop, filling the area around it with deep shadows. We approach a bit further, but with caution.
"What do you think?" Jack asks as we sit hidden in the gloom the tall walls.
"Seems pretty quiet. I mean, just because it's a dark and evil looking place doesn't mean that the people are dark and evil?" I give him my best convincing smile, but he just looks suspicious. "Does it?" I add under my breath, suddenly unsure of the answer myself. Nevertheless we enter the fortress through a large, medieval looking wooden door, which thinking about it, I guess fits in with the rest of the planet, so obviously this isn't some tourist attraction!
A strange place, dark and ethereal is illumination only by evenly spaced burning torches; wood like poles blazing a deep yellow fire. Eerie shadows creep along the walls and the long corridor echoes with the hum of Latin- like chants. A cold chill runs its icy fingers down my spine; as if a ghost has just walked right though me. The sounds draw nearer and nearer until they seem to be right on top of us.
Feeling the prickling on the back of my neck as the hairs gently rise to stand on end, I turn to see the hooded figures of six creatures rounding the corner at the bottom of the hallway, and watch as they continue their journey towards us. They are dressed in long dark green robes and their hands are concealed in each opposite sleeve. Hoods hang low over their faces so that only their mouths can be seen, and they seem to glide along, like they walk on air.
As they draw closer and their cries fill our minds, a sudden pain shoots through my skull. A pain so strong I fall to the floor clutching my head between my hands. The closer they come, the more intense it gets. When finally they pass (not changing their path and therefore the feet of one passing right through me) seemly not noticing us, it is like every breath is being pulled from my body and I begin to choke for air. They continue, this time fleeing away from us. I put a hand out on the floor to steady myself as my respiratory system craves oxygen. It seems like forever but when they are far enough away again, air rushes back into my lungs making me slightly dizzy as it starts to work on my screaming body.
"What the hell was that?" breathed a heavy voice behind me. Jack
"I have no idea" I just about manage to say, trying to remember how to make words come out of my mouth that sound normal.
"Did you." he begins, gesturing his hand towards me.
"Feel as though my lungs were on fire?" I finish. He nods. "Yeah."
"Well, lets not wait around for them to come back. I don't know about you, but I really like my ability to breath."
We gather our gear together and head off in no predetermined direction, walking around this maze like place, which quite frankly is giving me the creeps. Jack must have landed on his arm when the 'monks' came past, he's scrunched-up expression when he picks up his bag tells me that much. We find a quiet 'safe' place and I take a look at it, my turn to tend to his wounds. It's broken, his arm that is. I make a make shift sling and splint (which I got the impression he didn't appreciate very much from he's yelling of, "ow, damn it woman!" he did however, apologise profusely for this comment, to which I just smiled and said, "Oh that's ok, wimp.") My own injuries include bruises (at the very least) and a sore bum (which Jack doesn't know about, and it's gonna stay that way.)
Our journey eventually leads us to underground passages, which in turn lead us out the Abbey. Its cold and dark, much like inside. The sound of a large body of water, maybe a sea can be heard close by as it rushes and collides with the shore. The night sky has rushed in with its has moons, lending us a little light to find our way with, the ground is once again sodden where those rain clouds discharged their immense water, and creature's eyes that appear from no where seem to follow us. I quicken my pace slightly to stay instep with Jack and tighten my grip on the gun in my side pouch. My free hand hangs loosely beside me and once or twice bumps into his leg. I can almost feel him giving me that little look of surprise but comfort and naturalistic ease that accompanies it. He knows I am unsettled, and takes my hand. I never have been a fan of the dark, and especially not when there are castles and hungry animals around! My gun used to bring me comfort when I had to go on watch back in the days. when SG1. oh man, I miss them. Teal'c, Daniel, my dad. Hell, I even miss Janet's needles!
Sparks fill the chilled night air, and being so dark, we have nowhere to go. We both know we have to go back in there. Back into that place that offers so much in the way of 1950's horror movie clichés. We don't have a choice, though you can bet we are damn well gonna avoid those air suckers. Did I just say that? Ok, I have spent way too much alone time with Jack.
We go back into the fortress, following a labyrinth of secret and forgotten about passageways, and eventually find our way into a large room. It's totally different and out of place to the rest of the fortress. The eeriness and medieval feel is missing, replaced by a clean and untouched, glass room. The ceiling is high, and peeks to a glass dome, that traps the moonlight, splitting its light like a prism, and directing the light beams to the central focus of the room. a stargate. Questions buzz around my head, like why has this place got two gates? Two working gates?
But then everything clears and I'm left with one thought, and it hits me like a ton of bricks. This is our ticket home. Finally, after months, all we have to do is dial seven symbols, and we're outer here. I look round to Jack, standing still and silent, gazing at the gate with a slight sadness on his face, hidden beneath oar and relief. Does he know what I know, is his heart screaming all of a sudden like mine? If we go home. this, us, is over. We can't have a relationship with the regulations in place. If we go back, can we go back? I know we didn't cross the line, and I know that we had thought that this might happen, but I didn't really prepare myself for the prospect of going home and pretending I don't love him, going back to an empty cold bed, just calling him 'sir' again is enough to fracture my heart and break my dreams. I'd prepared myself for the thought it would be him and me from now on, and I liked that thought! I don't know if I can do it. I don't know if I can go back to before.
He turns to me, the look on his face matching mine. Without knowing it I must have got my face to mirror my emotions, and wet droplets fall from my eyes. I brush them away and tell him something from my heart. Something I didn't think I would say but it just comes out.
"Jack, when we get back, marry me?" The words fall out of mouth as if I say them everyday. He moves closer to me and places one hand in mine; suddenly very interested in the way they knit together so perfectly.
"What about SG1?" he doesn't even look me in the eye as he asks.
"We've been gone four months, Jack. They will have replaced us by now, and I'm sure whoever the new 2IC is, is copping just fine. If the SGC still needs me, then I'll stay on..as a civilian." I move to get his eyes to meet mine, stepping closer and lifting his face with a lightly placed finger on his rough, unshaven chin. I rest my head to his for a moment before going on, "Jack, being here has made me realise something."
"Oh? What's that?"
"I can't live without you anymore. I can't pretend that I don't love you, that I don't want you when it's obvious that I do."
He's eyes burn mine, his hands rest on my hips, our bodies are so close, and I swear I can hear his heart beating, or is it mine? They're the same thing. It's this drone that is the only sound to fill the room until I prompt him to answer my question.
"Its amazing." A smile spreads across his face, making me even more confused.
"What is?"
"How much I would give you. Its kinda scary really. Sam, I'll give you the world, just ask." he smiles.
"That's ok, I don't want the world, well not the kind you mean. You're my world, Jack. Nothing else matters. Please marry me. I'm asking, no, begging you, please." I desperately search his face for the answer. His lips curl into a smile and his forehead winkles just a tiny bit as he chuckles.
"Of course I'm going to marry you!" A hand leaves my waist and is on my check in seconds, and then his lips are there too, moving their way steadily to meet my own. I smile as he kisses me, and I drown in all that is he. I am so lost in his kiss, so taken away by the emotion, the relief and happiness of knowing that Jack O'Neill is mine, that I don't hear them coming.
Our lips part, and almost in slow motion I see him getting further away, moving away from me, his hand grasps mine, but our fingers are sweaty and his hold on me slips away. Noise, there's a lot of noise, but it's drowned out as my eyes stay locked on him. The breath in my lungs just disintegrates. Bright yellow shots fire from his weapon; a screaming of a ghostly nature steals more of my precious air. Thunderous beats deafen me as my eyes open and close slowly, trying desperately to keep him in sight. Then I see them. Just dark, swaying cloaks closing in on him, backing him up against the gate. I try to get up and help, but my body won't let me. There's a pain, in my neck, something icy and my body is now completely devoid of oxygen. The thunderous beats of my eyes grow slower until they finally come to rest, remaining open, fixed on the one thing I ever truly loved. Jack.
TBC!
*Evil grin* hehehe!
~Chapter 2~
Only make-believe
If all of the strength and all of the courage
Come and lift me from this place
I know I could love you much better than this
Full of grace.
Sarah McLanlach - Full of Grace #Sam#
I wake first, early enough to beat the dawn. Laying in his arms as the sky turns from a deep blue to a colour glowing with the pale yellow of the morning sun, I realise how much this has come to mean to me, how much I need this. I don't even know if I could sleep without him now. We don't need kissing and whatnot when looks and his arms say it all. We depend on each other now, and we've come to respect and even love each other more for it. I don't really know why we haven't crossed that line yet; I guess we just don't need too.
The sun grows higher and brings with it Jack's awakening. A small breeze carrying a chill floats through the window and Jack draws me in closer to his chest, protecting his skin from the cold. As he takes a deep breath so close to my neck, it sends a tremor rolling down my spine like an avalanche.
"Morning," he yawns, releasing me slightly and stretching, then bringing his hand back to rub through his hair. I can't help but smile as I turn to look at him, he's hair confused as to its rightful place and his eyes still half closed with sleep. He always looks this way in the morning, so innocent and free from the troubles his hectic life exposes him to.
"Morning! We should make a move if you wanna beat the sun today." He nods and I pat his arm, leaving him to rouse as I roll over and leave the bed. "I'll make you some breakfast."
"You're an angel!" The words are said in a light tone but carry a hidden meaning. I take it at face value for now, its too early for encrypted messages.
*
Packing up our gear at first light, we move out and head for the mountains, which stretch, ice-covered tips high above the heavy grey, water-laden clouds. A thick white mist hovers above the hills and makes it difficult to see the land it covers. The mist and clouds merge, pierced only by those mountains; you'd have to stand on the shoulders of giants to reach the top. Hours pass with nothing more than mindless chit chat as the last of the summer sun gently heats the land and the mist lifts, condensing and adding to the ominous rain clouds that linger around the sun, threatening to close in on it and engulf it. I begin to wonder if we'll find anywhere to take shelter before the heavens open and we get a royal soaking.
Before I can even finish this thought, Jack is standing still, hand on to my shoulder, halting me and leading me to follow his gaze. A dark and creepy looking building.no, more of a fortress, looks down on us from its lookout point at the top of a steep slop, filling the area around it with deep shadows. We approach a bit further, but with caution.
"What do you think?" Jack asks as we sit hidden in the gloom the tall walls.
"Seems pretty quiet. I mean, just because it's a dark and evil looking place doesn't mean that the people are dark and evil?" I give him my best convincing smile, but he just looks suspicious. "Does it?" I add under my breath, suddenly unsure of the answer myself. Nevertheless we enter the fortress through a large, medieval looking wooden door, which thinking about it, I guess fits in with the rest of the planet, so obviously this isn't some tourist attraction!
A strange place, dark and ethereal is illumination only by evenly spaced burning torches; wood like poles blazing a deep yellow fire. Eerie shadows creep along the walls and the long corridor echoes with the hum of Latin- like chants. A cold chill runs its icy fingers down my spine; as if a ghost has just walked right though me. The sounds draw nearer and nearer until they seem to be right on top of us.
Feeling the prickling on the back of my neck as the hairs gently rise to stand on end, I turn to see the hooded figures of six creatures rounding the corner at the bottom of the hallway, and watch as they continue their journey towards us. They are dressed in long dark green robes and their hands are concealed in each opposite sleeve. Hoods hang low over their faces so that only their mouths can be seen, and they seem to glide along, like they walk on air.
As they draw closer and their cries fill our minds, a sudden pain shoots through my skull. A pain so strong I fall to the floor clutching my head between my hands. The closer they come, the more intense it gets. When finally they pass (not changing their path and therefore the feet of one passing right through me) seemly not noticing us, it is like every breath is being pulled from my body and I begin to choke for air. They continue, this time fleeing away from us. I put a hand out on the floor to steady myself as my respiratory system craves oxygen. It seems like forever but when they are far enough away again, air rushes back into my lungs making me slightly dizzy as it starts to work on my screaming body.
"What the hell was that?" breathed a heavy voice behind me. Jack
"I have no idea" I just about manage to say, trying to remember how to make words come out of my mouth that sound normal.
"Did you." he begins, gesturing his hand towards me.
"Feel as though my lungs were on fire?" I finish. He nods. "Yeah."
"Well, lets not wait around for them to come back. I don't know about you, but I really like my ability to breath."
We gather our gear together and head off in no predetermined direction, walking around this maze like place, which quite frankly is giving me the creeps. Jack must have landed on his arm when the 'monks' came past, he's scrunched-up expression when he picks up his bag tells me that much. We find a quiet 'safe' place and I take a look at it, my turn to tend to his wounds. It's broken, his arm that is. I make a make shift sling and splint (which I got the impression he didn't appreciate very much from he's yelling of, "ow, damn it woman!" he did however, apologise profusely for this comment, to which I just smiled and said, "Oh that's ok, wimp.") My own injuries include bruises (at the very least) and a sore bum (which Jack doesn't know about, and it's gonna stay that way.)
Our journey eventually leads us to underground passages, which in turn lead us out the Abbey. Its cold and dark, much like inside. The sound of a large body of water, maybe a sea can be heard close by as it rushes and collides with the shore. The night sky has rushed in with its has moons, lending us a little light to find our way with, the ground is once again sodden where those rain clouds discharged their immense water, and creature's eyes that appear from no where seem to follow us. I quicken my pace slightly to stay instep with Jack and tighten my grip on the gun in my side pouch. My free hand hangs loosely beside me and once or twice bumps into his leg. I can almost feel him giving me that little look of surprise but comfort and naturalistic ease that accompanies it. He knows I am unsettled, and takes my hand. I never have been a fan of the dark, and especially not when there are castles and hungry animals around! My gun used to bring me comfort when I had to go on watch back in the days. when SG1. oh man, I miss them. Teal'c, Daniel, my dad. Hell, I even miss Janet's needles!
Sparks fill the chilled night air, and being so dark, we have nowhere to go. We both know we have to go back in there. Back into that place that offers so much in the way of 1950's horror movie clichés. We don't have a choice, though you can bet we are damn well gonna avoid those air suckers. Did I just say that? Ok, I have spent way too much alone time with Jack.
We go back into the fortress, following a labyrinth of secret and forgotten about passageways, and eventually find our way into a large room. It's totally different and out of place to the rest of the fortress. The eeriness and medieval feel is missing, replaced by a clean and untouched, glass room. The ceiling is high, and peeks to a glass dome, that traps the moonlight, splitting its light like a prism, and directing the light beams to the central focus of the room. a stargate. Questions buzz around my head, like why has this place got two gates? Two working gates?
But then everything clears and I'm left with one thought, and it hits me like a ton of bricks. This is our ticket home. Finally, after months, all we have to do is dial seven symbols, and we're outer here. I look round to Jack, standing still and silent, gazing at the gate with a slight sadness on his face, hidden beneath oar and relief. Does he know what I know, is his heart screaming all of a sudden like mine? If we go home. this, us, is over. We can't have a relationship with the regulations in place. If we go back, can we go back? I know we didn't cross the line, and I know that we had thought that this might happen, but I didn't really prepare myself for the prospect of going home and pretending I don't love him, going back to an empty cold bed, just calling him 'sir' again is enough to fracture my heart and break my dreams. I'd prepared myself for the thought it would be him and me from now on, and I liked that thought! I don't know if I can do it. I don't know if I can go back to before.
He turns to me, the look on his face matching mine. Without knowing it I must have got my face to mirror my emotions, and wet droplets fall from my eyes. I brush them away and tell him something from my heart. Something I didn't think I would say but it just comes out.
"Jack, when we get back, marry me?" The words fall out of mouth as if I say them everyday. He moves closer to me and places one hand in mine; suddenly very interested in the way they knit together so perfectly.
"What about SG1?" he doesn't even look me in the eye as he asks.
"We've been gone four months, Jack. They will have replaced us by now, and I'm sure whoever the new 2IC is, is copping just fine. If the SGC still needs me, then I'll stay on..as a civilian." I move to get his eyes to meet mine, stepping closer and lifting his face with a lightly placed finger on his rough, unshaven chin. I rest my head to his for a moment before going on, "Jack, being here has made me realise something."
"Oh? What's that?"
"I can't live without you anymore. I can't pretend that I don't love you, that I don't want you when it's obvious that I do."
He's eyes burn mine, his hands rest on my hips, our bodies are so close, and I swear I can hear his heart beating, or is it mine? They're the same thing. It's this drone that is the only sound to fill the room until I prompt him to answer my question.
"Its amazing." A smile spreads across his face, making me even more confused.
"What is?"
"How much I would give you. Its kinda scary really. Sam, I'll give you the world, just ask." he smiles.
"That's ok, I don't want the world, well not the kind you mean. You're my world, Jack. Nothing else matters. Please marry me. I'm asking, no, begging you, please." I desperately search his face for the answer. His lips curl into a smile and his forehead winkles just a tiny bit as he chuckles.
"Of course I'm going to marry you!" A hand leaves my waist and is on my check in seconds, and then his lips are there too, moving their way steadily to meet my own. I smile as he kisses me, and I drown in all that is he. I am so lost in his kiss, so taken away by the emotion, the relief and happiness of knowing that Jack O'Neill is mine, that I don't hear them coming.
Our lips part, and almost in slow motion I see him getting further away, moving away from me, his hand grasps mine, but our fingers are sweaty and his hold on me slips away. Noise, there's a lot of noise, but it's drowned out as my eyes stay locked on him. The breath in my lungs just disintegrates. Bright yellow shots fire from his weapon; a screaming of a ghostly nature steals more of my precious air. Thunderous beats deafen me as my eyes open and close slowly, trying desperately to keep him in sight. Then I see them. Just dark, swaying cloaks closing in on him, backing him up against the gate. I try to get up and help, but my body won't let me. There's a pain, in my neck, something icy and my body is now completely devoid of oxygen. The thunderous beats of my eyes grow slower until they finally come to rest, remaining open, fixed on the one thing I ever truly loved. Jack.
TBC!
*Evil grin* hehehe!