After New Year's, when we had all thought winter was gone for good, a heavy
snowfall fell from the sky one early morning. That day, I was supposed to
go to see Akito. I, fortunately, though, did not have to shovel, Yuki and
Kyo were at that almost immediately, screaming at each other at the same
time, though most of it was done by Kyo.
Yuki had been tempting Kyo all morning, giving off cruel insults and giving him airy, nonchalant looks, as if tempting Kyo to try and hit him just once. I had been trying to keep the peace, but now it appears I was out of my element, inside, warm and cozy, and they were outside, had shovels, neither one afraid to use it.
From the window, sipping hot cocoa, I could tell Kyo was ready to rip Yuki apart, though probably unsuccessfully. His shovel poised on the ground, ready to kill Yuki, Kyo stood, scowling.
"DAMN IT, YOU RAT BOY, WOULD YOU JUST MAKE A MOVE ALREADY!!!" The yard erupted into screams once again.
"Shut up, baka neko," Yuki shot back severely. Kyo scowled and charged at Yuki with a punch. Yuki dodged with ease and quickly punched Kyo solidly in the ribs. Kyo fell to his knees, gasping. I became worrried; I could tell he was hurt, but Kyo would never lose to Yuki without a good fight. I bit my lower lip, worriedly. Turning my head, I was surprised to see Shigure next to me by the window, keeping score.
"Ahh, so Tohru, who do you think will win this one? Probably Yuki, as usual," he said casually as Kyo gave another battle cry and charged at Yuki with the shovel after getting up.
"Shigure, maybe we should stop them; it looks like this is getting serious," I said.
"No, this is the best way. When things like this do start up, though it has been rare recently, it's best we just let them fight it out. It's what they do best when with each other. I do recall, several years ago, before you came to live with us, one of their fights got so out of hand, Kyo had to go to the hospital at the end of it. But he escaped with only a few minor bumps and bruises." I gave a gasp.
"But Shigure, they're going to kill each other!" I shrieked. Shigure gave a chuckle.
"Ah, it does appear that way, doesn't it?" he said, taking out a pair of binoculars.
Outside, Kyo swiped at Yuki with a forceful, frustrated punch. Yuki caught it easily.
"I would have thought Master would have taught you a little better, but I guess he just didn't want to spend so much time on a useless student like you," Yuki said severely. Yuki sneered. Kyo scowled and threw another punch straight for Yuki's face. Yuki dodged barely.
"Damn it, you make me sick to my stomach with your damn antics!" Kyo yelled angrily.
"What? Is that your favorite word?" Yuki said sarcastically. Kyo was apparently just about ready to annihilate Yuki; I could see the pure anger and hatred imprinted on his face. Yuki saw this too, and was enjoying this, that he was making Kyo angry and frustrated.
It's at times like these I wonder if there ever could be a hope that those two could get along finally, one day. Yuki once told me, "We were born hating each other, it's as simple as that. He is the Cat, and I am the Rat, we could never be friends." How could something so simple and unreasonable possibly keep two people apart? I know, in my heart, Kyo and Yuki one day could be friends, if they just tried. I know they have it in them to try to cooperate with each other, after all, they secretly envy each other, but I guess they just aren't ready to realize that yet. But still, that aside, they have come a long way; fights like these used to happen every time it snowed, even every weekend, and now it only happens on occasion. If only they could stop their cruelty to each other, maybe things would be different.
But, there had to be some hope for them, even as miniscule as it may be. If Akito could recover from near death, then there was hope for those two as well.
I glanced at Shigure and then switched my eyes back to Kyo and Yuki outside through the windowpane. Yuki was laying in the snow, curled up tightly, his back to me, curling up tighter every time he winced from the pain. Kyo stood over him, breathing heavily. I frowned and was about to rush out to help Yuki. But suddenly, Kyo bent down and extended and arm to the curled- up form in the snow. There was a pause and all was silent for a moment; Shigure and I both were holding our breath. Finally, slowly, weakly, Yuki reached up and took Kyo's hand. Yuki was lifted from the ground and stood, staring at Kyo for a moment. Kyo released his hand and let it drop to his side. The two watched each other for a few moments silently.
Suddenly, I saw Yuki's mouth form three short words.
"Thank you, Kyo."
I let my breath out in a long sigh and smiled.
I had just witnessed a miracle. A miracle of friendship. Shigure, having already removed the binoculars, turned to me with a genuine smile.
"I truly, never thought I would see this day. Of course, this won't be the end, but they've taken another big step to becoming true friends I think," he said. I nodded. Yes. There was hope for them, maybe even bigger than I had thought. It's simple, small but genuine moments like these that really make up life; this was definitely memorable.
~~~~~~~~~
The night air was chilly as I approached the house deathly silent in the early evening. I had been forced to come later than hoped because Kagura made a surprise appearance and ripped up the house a little while violently showing her love for Kyo as usual whenever she came over.
I was a bit nervous coming here; I had no idea why Akito wanted me to come, what he was planning, any of it. The last time I had seen him he had kissed me, so naturally this would be a bit awkward on my part.
I entered through a fusuma on the side of the house and removed my shoes by the door and set them down. I shivered as I entered into the house. It was dim in the house, but warm. Removing my coat, I carried it over my arm as I made my way into the main part of the house.
"Akito?" I called softly. "Akito, are you there?"
"I'm glad you could make it; I was worried you weren't coming," a familiar voice came from the darkness from a closeby hallway. I gasped at the sudden voice. A low laughter came and Akito stepped into the light of the room I was in. I looked to the floor and tried to not look Akito in the face. "What's the matter? Am I making you nervous?" Akito said, stepping toward me. I shook my head slowly. It seemed like the room had suddenly become uncomfortably hot. "You want to know why you were called here," Akito said. I said nothing and forced myself to look him in the face. "You told someone, didn't you?" Akito said that sentence in a strange way; not necessarily threatening, but more like he was urging me to confess to a crime I didn't commit. I gasped at his words, I knew exactly what he meant.
"No, Akito, I told you. I- I thought you knew, I thought you believed me. I thought...I thought things were better. Were they?" I said softly. I was shocked Akito would even still suggest that. I was sure he believed me then, and trusted me. Akito gave a ridiculous laugh.
"No, things were never different; things never changed."
"But, then, why did you let me go a year ago?" I asked him.
"Because, I didn't think you posed too much of a threat at the time. But now it seems obvious that you are. We shouldn't have let you into this family, we never should have let you into our hearts, and our minds. We were fine, only until you came into our lives, and then you ruined everything! I knew from the beginning, the first time I heard of the little Miss Tohru Honda, I knew you'd be trouble," Akito said disgusted. I was too shocked to say anything at all. "You made us believe your little scam, that you were actually a good, kind person, that you understood. We were foolish to believe your lies, your hypocrisy. You have proved once and for all to us, that there is no one who can understand, who can cope with our situation. We can't be saved, and we had accepted that fact, until you came into our lives and made us blindly believe that there was some invisible hope there, that existed. But it was all just a lie! You even had me believing that maybe there was just a small chance that you could miraculously save us. We were all...just being stupid. In truth, Tohru Honda, we can't accept you into this family, because you are an outsider, and you betrayed us." His voice held such a cruelness and maliciousness to it that it was no different than a year ago.
Tears rimmed my eyes and I struggled to keep them there. I gave a low sob. I looked Akito straight in the eyes despite the feeling of apprehension that filled me.
"Akito, I'm sorry. I- I don't know what I'm apologizing for, but I'm sorry for it nonetheless. I guess I'm sorry that it had to be your family that was cursed. I'm sorry that you feel that way about me, Akito. But I don't feel the same about you. I want to be your friend, Akito, and I hope someday that comes true. Although I want more than anything to be truly accepted by you and your family, I know how much it may hurt all of you. If it had been better that I never came into your lives, but I did anyway, then, I'm sorry. Akito, I'm sorry," I said. There was no change in his expression, he remained cold as stone. "Akito, can I just ask you one thing? If things didn't change between us, then why did you kiss me on New Year's? Why, when you were sick, did you tell me that I was accepted, that things had changed?" I asked softly. There was a silence for a moment.
"Because, Tohru Honda, I was testing you; I wanted to see how you'd react. I wanted to see whether you really cared. But how do you know that's the truth? I did say, at one time, I had become lost to you too." I gave a sigh. I stepped toward Akito and wrapped my arms around him and leaned my head against his chest. His arms remained at his side, but neither did he push me away. I held him for a few minutes, breathing into his robes that held his welcoming, strong scent I knew all too well. I felt him breathing in my embrace. I finally pulled away slowly. His face remained indifferent to this gesture. I reached up gently to touch a piece of his black hair and felt its dark, velvety strands. Standing on my toes to increase my height, I kissed him as if for the last time.
It ended after only a few short seconds. My hand remained enclosed on his own hand. He shook my hand away.
"Go now, Tohru Honda." With an unsteadiness, I left, giving him one last glance and savoring the feeling of his lips on my mouth and the touch of his hair on my fingertips.
Outside, despite what Akito had said in there, I still believed there had to be some hope; there had to be some hope for the Sohmas, and for Akito. Only earlier I had seen something truly miraculous, something that once would have thought to be hopeless. There had to be hope. There had to be hope. If what I had seen earlier today was real, then there was always hope, no matter what. Anything can go from hopeless to hopeful. Even a situation as hopeless as that of the Sohmas.
~~~~~~~~~
That was unexpected, huh? Now we don't know what Akito is feeling; okay, well, I'm sure a lot of you think you do.
Yuki had been tempting Kyo all morning, giving off cruel insults and giving him airy, nonchalant looks, as if tempting Kyo to try and hit him just once. I had been trying to keep the peace, but now it appears I was out of my element, inside, warm and cozy, and they were outside, had shovels, neither one afraid to use it.
From the window, sipping hot cocoa, I could tell Kyo was ready to rip Yuki apart, though probably unsuccessfully. His shovel poised on the ground, ready to kill Yuki, Kyo stood, scowling.
"DAMN IT, YOU RAT BOY, WOULD YOU JUST MAKE A MOVE ALREADY!!!" The yard erupted into screams once again.
"Shut up, baka neko," Yuki shot back severely. Kyo scowled and charged at Yuki with a punch. Yuki dodged with ease and quickly punched Kyo solidly in the ribs. Kyo fell to his knees, gasping. I became worrried; I could tell he was hurt, but Kyo would never lose to Yuki without a good fight. I bit my lower lip, worriedly. Turning my head, I was surprised to see Shigure next to me by the window, keeping score.
"Ahh, so Tohru, who do you think will win this one? Probably Yuki, as usual," he said casually as Kyo gave another battle cry and charged at Yuki with the shovel after getting up.
"Shigure, maybe we should stop them; it looks like this is getting serious," I said.
"No, this is the best way. When things like this do start up, though it has been rare recently, it's best we just let them fight it out. It's what they do best when with each other. I do recall, several years ago, before you came to live with us, one of their fights got so out of hand, Kyo had to go to the hospital at the end of it. But he escaped with only a few minor bumps and bruises." I gave a gasp.
"But Shigure, they're going to kill each other!" I shrieked. Shigure gave a chuckle.
"Ah, it does appear that way, doesn't it?" he said, taking out a pair of binoculars.
Outside, Kyo swiped at Yuki with a forceful, frustrated punch. Yuki caught it easily.
"I would have thought Master would have taught you a little better, but I guess he just didn't want to spend so much time on a useless student like you," Yuki said severely. Yuki sneered. Kyo scowled and threw another punch straight for Yuki's face. Yuki dodged barely.
"Damn it, you make me sick to my stomach with your damn antics!" Kyo yelled angrily.
"What? Is that your favorite word?" Yuki said sarcastically. Kyo was apparently just about ready to annihilate Yuki; I could see the pure anger and hatred imprinted on his face. Yuki saw this too, and was enjoying this, that he was making Kyo angry and frustrated.
It's at times like these I wonder if there ever could be a hope that those two could get along finally, one day. Yuki once told me, "We were born hating each other, it's as simple as that. He is the Cat, and I am the Rat, we could never be friends." How could something so simple and unreasonable possibly keep two people apart? I know, in my heart, Kyo and Yuki one day could be friends, if they just tried. I know they have it in them to try to cooperate with each other, after all, they secretly envy each other, but I guess they just aren't ready to realize that yet. But still, that aside, they have come a long way; fights like these used to happen every time it snowed, even every weekend, and now it only happens on occasion. If only they could stop their cruelty to each other, maybe things would be different.
But, there had to be some hope for them, even as miniscule as it may be. If Akito could recover from near death, then there was hope for those two as well.
I glanced at Shigure and then switched my eyes back to Kyo and Yuki outside through the windowpane. Yuki was laying in the snow, curled up tightly, his back to me, curling up tighter every time he winced from the pain. Kyo stood over him, breathing heavily. I frowned and was about to rush out to help Yuki. But suddenly, Kyo bent down and extended and arm to the curled- up form in the snow. There was a pause and all was silent for a moment; Shigure and I both were holding our breath. Finally, slowly, weakly, Yuki reached up and took Kyo's hand. Yuki was lifted from the ground and stood, staring at Kyo for a moment. Kyo released his hand and let it drop to his side. The two watched each other for a few moments silently.
Suddenly, I saw Yuki's mouth form three short words.
"Thank you, Kyo."
I let my breath out in a long sigh and smiled.
I had just witnessed a miracle. A miracle of friendship. Shigure, having already removed the binoculars, turned to me with a genuine smile.
"I truly, never thought I would see this day. Of course, this won't be the end, but they've taken another big step to becoming true friends I think," he said. I nodded. Yes. There was hope for them, maybe even bigger than I had thought. It's simple, small but genuine moments like these that really make up life; this was definitely memorable.
~~~~~~~~~
The night air was chilly as I approached the house deathly silent in the early evening. I had been forced to come later than hoped because Kagura made a surprise appearance and ripped up the house a little while violently showing her love for Kyo as usual whenever she came over.
I was a bit nervous coming here; I had no idea why Akito wanted me to come, what he was planning, any of it. The last time I had seen him he had kissed me, so naturally this would be a bit awkward on my part.
I entered through a fusuma on the side of the house and removed my shoes by the door and set them down. I shivered as I entered into the house. It was dim in the house, but warm. Removing my coat, I carried it over my arm as I made my way into the main part of the house.
"Akito?" I called softly. "Akito, are you there?"
"I'm glad you could make it; I was worried you weren't coming," a familiar voice came from the darkness from a closeby hallway. I gasped at the sudden voice. A low laughter came and Akito stepped into the light of the room I was in. I looked to the floor and tried to not look Akito in the face. "What's the matter? Am I making you nervous?" Akito said, stepping toward me. I shook my head slowly. It seemed like the room had suddenly become uncomfortably hot. "You want to know why you were called here," Akito said. I said nothing and forced myself to look him in the face. "You told someone, didn't you?" Akito said that sentence in a strange way; not necessarily threatening, but more like he was urging me to confess to a crime I didn't commit. I gasped at his words, I knew exactly what he meant.
"No, Akito, I told you. I- I thought you knew, I thought you believed me. I thought...I thought things were better. Were they?" I said softly. I was shocked Akito would even still suggest that. I was sure he believed me then, and trusted me. Akito gave a ridiculous laugh.
"No, things were never different; things never changed."
"But, then, why did you let me go a year ago?" I asked him.
"Because, I didn't think you posed too much of a threat at the time. But now it seems obvious that you are. We shouldn't have let you into this family, we never should have let you into our hearts, and our minds. We were fine, only until you came into our lives, and then you ruined everything! I knew from the beginning, the first time I heard of the little Miss Tohru Honda, I knew you'd be trouble," Akito said disgusted. I was too shocked to say anything at all. "You made us believe your little scam, that you were actually a good, kind person, that you understood. We were foolish to believe your lies, your hypocrisy. You have proved once and for all to us, that there is no one who can understand, who can cope with our situation. We can't be saved, and we had accepted that fact, until you came into our lives and made us blindly believe that there was some invisible hope there, that existed. But it was all just a lie! You even had me believing that maybe there was just a small chance that you could miraculously save us. We were all...just being stupid. In truth, Tohru Honda, we can't accept you into this family, because you are an outsider, and you betrayed us." His voice held such a cruelness and maliciousness to it that it was no different than a year ago.
Tears rimmed my eyes and I struggled to keep them there. I gave a low sob. I looked Akito straight in the eyes despite the feeling of apprehension that filled me.
"Akito, I'm sorry. I- I don't know what I'm apologizing for, but I'm sorry for it nonetheless. I guess I'm sorry that it had to be your family that was cursed. I'm sorry that you feel that way about me, Akito. But I don't feel the same about you. I want to be your friend, Akito, and I hope someday that comes true. Although I want more than anything to be truly accepted by you and your family, I know how much it may hurt all of you. If it had been better that I never came into your lives, but I did anyway, then, I'm sorry. Akito, I'm sorry," I said. There was no change in his expression, he remained cold as stone. "Akito, can I just ask you one thing? If things didn't change between us, then why did you kiss me on New Year's? Why, when you were sick, did you tell me that I was accepted, that things had changed?" I asked softly. There was a silence for a moment.
"Because, Tohru Honda, I was testing you; I wanted to see how you'd react. I wanted to see whether you really cared. But how do you know that's the truth? I did say, at one time, I had become lost to you too." I gave a sigh. I stepped toward Akito and wrapped my arms around him and leaned my head against his chest. His arms remained at his side, but neither did he push me away. I held him for a few minutes, breathing into his robes that held his welcoming, strong scent I knew all too well. I felt him breathing in my embrace. I finally pulled away slowly. His face remained indifferent to this gesture. I reached up gently to touch a piece of his black hair and felt its dark, velvety strands. Standing on my toes to increase my height, I kissed him as if for the last time.
It ended after only a few short seconds. My hand remained enclosed on his own hand. He shook my hand away.
"Go now, Tohru Honda." With an unsteadiness, I left, giving him one last glance and savoring the feeling of his lips on my mouth and the touch of his hair on my fingertips.
Outside, despite what Akito had said in there, I still believed there had to be some hope; there had to be some hope for the Sohmas, and for Akito. Only earlier I had seen something truly miraculous, something that once would have thought to be hopeless. There had to be hope. There had to be hope. If what I had seen earlier today was real, then there was always hope, no matter what. Anything can go from hopeless to hopeful. Even a situation as hopeless as that of the Sohmas.
~~~~~~~~~
That was unexpected, huh? Now we don't know what Akito is feeling; okay, well, I'm sure a lot of you think you do.