My Immortal
They that love beyond the world
cannot be separated by it.
Death cannot kill
what never dies.
-William Penn
* Jack *
Quickly she's falling away from me, being pulled by the long claw like fingers of the demon that stands before me. Her face is empty, she doesn't know what's happening as he sinks his teeth into her neck and drinks the air from her, leaving her limp and lifeless in his sickly arms that leach night-coloured liquid as stolen oxygen floods their blue, inflamed veins.
I grab my gun, hardly believing only seconds have passed, and start shooting as they close in on me. The bullets have no effect on them, so I change to a zat. Still no effect and they grow closer; so close I feel the breath being taken from me already. Backed up against the gate I do the only thing I can. I hit seven symbols, any, I don't care, and the as I begin to choke, I hit the orange globe. The gate jumps into action, spitting out a jet of blue water-like material. I duck just time, as the 'monks' surrounding me are swallowed by the event horizon.
The last shreds of air being held captive in my lung begins to burn. I fight it off, grabbing the concealed knife from my boot. Blind rage drives me and I charge at the creature standing over her body.
Feeling nothing but a hunger for vengeance and a stony satisfaction, the knife's clean, cold metal blade sinks into its throat. The screams of previous victims are released as black blood falls from the gash. The animal lays limp on the floor, dissolving from the acid effects of its own bleeding. In seconds it is nothing more than a pile of robes and dust.
I look down at Sam. No air is drawn into her body, and no attempt is made by her heart to beat. I fall to my knees beside her, releasing my vice-like grip on the knife and letting it fall from my red hands. Air floods me, and so does emotion. Her eyes are open and fixed on no particular point. Her face is pale and her lips blue. Dark red blood leaks from her neck where his tooth had been, and is heavily contrast on its snow white canvas. I touch her hand. It's still warm. Suddenly I fall back into military mode and push aside all the pain I feel.
I lift her head back gently and check that her air ways have not been obstructed by the bite. They are clear, so begin CPR, breathing for her, and massaging her heart to try and kick start it again. But the more I try the more I fear she won't wake up.
"Come on Sam. Don't you dare die on me! Not now!" I beat her chest. I think I might be hurting her ribs, maybe even breaking them under the force of my determination not to lose her. But I was always told in training, 'broken ribs can be fixed'.
"COME ON! Please, Sam." I shout, before again blowing air into her mouth, emptying my own lungs to fill hers. Her chest rises, and falls again as the air leaves without effect. Pumping her heart three more times, and then repeating as before, her chest raises again. But this time it stays risen. Choking as her borrowed oxygen mixes with her body's own attempt to breathe its own, her eyes blink.
My fingers are at her neck instantly. She has a plus, all be it weak. I lean down over her and kiss her head lightly, before realising its wet. Tears from my own eyes.
"You had me worried for a minute there!"
A frail smile crosses her lips. "Sorry" she whispers.
Wanting to pull her up, hold her in my arms and not let go, but knowing she needs space to recover, I squeeze her hand reassuringly and move over to the gate. I dial home, and send the signal telling them it's us.
Minutes later and I am once again standing on the metal ramp, facing a room of armed guards, gun barrels pointing at me and the woman lying in my arms, clinging on to life by a thread. General Hammond orders the men to stand down and the concerned faces of Daniel and Teal'c greet us at the bottom of the walk way.
I feel the blood from Sam's wound begin to soak through my clothing and I begin to panic. Her head, which I made sure was near my neck so that I could fell her breath, falls limp once more as she loses consciousness. The General doesn't need me to tell him, in a second he is ordering a medical team to the gate room. Within seconds a full medical team is swarming into the gate room.
"Help her" I beg.
They take her from me and rush her to the infirmary, starting CPR once again. I hadn't realised she had stopped breathing again. I go to follow but am stopped by a confident by sympathetic hand on my shoulder.
"Let them do their job's, son." General Hammond. I turn to face him, my head spinning from the emotion and distress of the last ten minutes. That's all! Ten minutes and the greatest thing in my life, the most important person and the only one, who could make me feel like. like I used to feel, like I never thought I'd feel again, could be gone. Ten damn minutes.
"Sir." I respond with a suddenly very dry mouth, so the words crock out, scratching the sides on their way. As an after thought I add, "It's good to be home." Which is matched with an, 'its good to have you home', but I'm already walking away. I walk at a fast pace, not wanting questions right now. I quickly find my way around the base again, and head straight for the water cooler in the briefing room. I down several cups before I can feel remotely alive again.
"Jack. What happened?" The question I knew was coming, and the very same question I don't want and probably can't answer right now. I place the cup on the mighty wooden table and rub a hand over my tried and slightly irritated face, feeling the stubble of having neglected shaving for over a month; the razor in my kit had gone blunt and left me with no other option.
"You know, its funny," I reminisce with a sad, old voice, "it bugged her at first; the stubble I mean. But she got used to it, the feel of it on her skin, on her neck and back when she slept in my arms. She said it was nice sometimes, when it would tickle."
Daniels eyebrows knit together and a frown spreads across his face. He doesn't understand, probably doesn't even know what I'm talking about.
"Whilst we were on that planet Daniel, we had no one else. After a few months we gave up hope of being found, and we made arrangements. Look, why beat around the bush, you know Sam and I have feelings for one another, the whole base knows I've no doubt. We grew closer and." its no good. Talking about her like this drives the nail in my heart in even deeper. How could this have happened, how and why when we were so close to happiness?
Before he can say anything, I leave the room, brushing past him on the way. I need air and I need something to stop my damn eyes from itching. I try and convince myself that it's the change in planet that's making them sore, but I can't fool myself that easily. Something inside me feels empty and cold. I know, I just know that she's gone; I can't feel her here anymore. I used to be able to just know when she was near me; I'd get that feeling like I was being watched, like a million butterflies were dancing on my skin. So when Janet brings the news, the usual 'I'm so sorry,' 'I tried everything I could' 'she's gone' speech, I am left hollow. I sit in the cool night air and look up as the stars litter the black curtain draped across the horizon. The stars that once meant so much to me, brought me out of a world of suffering and killing to put me at peace now seem to taunt me. Sitting up there, so high and mighty, controlling the fate of the lives of the people below. Taking away loved ones in the blink of an eye. How could he? If there is a God, how could he do this to me? I have lost my chance at happiness thrice, each time stolen from me prematurely.
I run from the base, not stopping or looking back for anyone. I need to get away, somewhere I can do that thing I usually try and hide from. Think things through. I tell Janet that under no circumstances is she to do anything with the body. That I needed a few hours before I could say goodbye, and I wanted her to still be there when I was ready.
But inside I know the truth, I need to fix this. I need her back. I'm not ready and never will be to say goodbye.
TBC
Thanks for all the feedback so far! This story is marching on, don't worry. The next part will be up soon.
They that love beyond the world
cannot be separated by it.
Death cannot kill
what never dies.
-William Penn
* Jack *
Quickly she's falling away from me, being pulled by the long claw like fingers of the demon that stands before me. Her face is empty, she doesn't know what's happening as he sinks his teeth into her neck and drinks the air from her, leaving her limp and lifeless in his sickly arms that leach night-coloured liquid as stolen oxygen floods their blue, inflamed veins.
I grab my gun, hardly believing only seconds have passed, and start shooting as they close in on me. The bullets have no effect on them, so I change to a zat. Still no effect and they grow closer; so close I feel the breath being taken from me already. Backed up against the gate I do the only thing I can. I hit seven symbols, any, I don't care, and the as I begin to choke, I hit the orange globe. The gate jumps into action, spitting out a jet of blue water-like material. I duck just time, as the 'monks' surrounding me are swallowed by the event horizon.
The last shreds of air being held captive in my lung begins to burn. I fight it off, grabbing the concealed knife from my boot. Blind rage drives me and I charge at the creature standing over her body.
Feeling nothing but a hunger for vengeance and a stony satisfaction, the knife's clean, cold metal blade sinks into its throat. The screams of previous victims are released as black blood falls from the gash. The animal lays limp on the floor, dissolving from the acid effects of its own bleeding. In seconds it is nothing more than a pile of robes and dust.
I look down at Sam. No air is drawn into her body, and no attempt is made by her heart to beat. I fall to my knees beside her, releasing my vice-like grip on the knife and letting it fall from my red hands. Air floods me, and so does emotion. Her eyes are open and fixed on no particular point. Her face is pale and her lips blue. Dark red blood leaks from her neck where his tooth had been, and is heavily contrast on its snow white canvas. I touch her hand. It's still warm. Suddenly I fall back into military mode and push aside all the pain I feel.
I lift her head back gently and check that her air ways have not been obstructed by the bite. They are clear, so begin CPR, breathing for her, and massaging her heart to try and kick start it again. But the more I try the more I fear she won't wake up.
"Come on Sam. Don't you dare die on me! Not now!" I beat her chest. I think I might be hurting her ribs, maybe even breaking them under the force of my determination not to lose her. But I was always told in training, 'broken ribs can be fixed'.
"COME ON! Please, Sam." I shout, before again blowing air into her mouth, emptying my own lungs to fill hers. Her chest rises, and falls again as the air leaves without effect. Pumping her heart three more times, and then repeating as before, her chest raises again. But this time it stays risen. Choking as her borrowed oxygen mixes with her body's own attempt to breathe its own, her eyes blink.
My fingers are at her neck instantly. She has a plus, all be it weak. I lean down over her and kiss her head lightly, before realising its wet. Tears from my own eyes.
"You had me worried for a minute there!"
A frail smile crosses her lips. "Sorry" she whispers.
Wanting to pull her up, hold her in my arms and not let go, but knowing she needs space to recover, I squeeze her hand reassuringly and move over to the gate. I dial home, and send the signal telling them it's us.
Minutes later and I am once again standing on the metal ramp, facing a room of armed guards, gun barrels pointing at me and the woman lying in my arms, clinging on to life by a thread. General Hammond orders the men to stand down and the concerned faces of Daniel and Teal'c greet us at the bottom of the walk way.
I feel the blood from Sam's wound begin to soak through my clothing and I begin to panic. Her head, which I made sure was near my neck so that I could fell her breath, falls limp once more as she loses consciousness. The General doesn't need me to tell him, in a second he is ordering a medical team to the gate room. Within seconds a full medical team is swarming into the gate room.
"Help her" I beg.
They take her from me and rush her to the infirmary, starting CPR once again. I hadn't realised she had stopped breathing again. I go to follow but am stopped by a confident by sympathetic hand on my shoulder.
"Let them do their job's, son." General Hammond. I turn to face him, my head spinning from the emotion and distress of the last ten minutes. That's all! Ten minutes and the greatest thing in my life, the most important person and the only one, who could make me feel like. like I used to feel, like I never thought I'd feel again, could be gone. Ten damn minutes.
"Sir." I respond with a suddenly very dry mouth, so the words crock out, scratching the sides on their way. As an after thought I add, "It's good to be home." Which is matched with an, 'its good to have you home', but I'm already walking away. I walk at a fast pace, not wanting questions right now. I quickly find my way around the base again, and head straight for the water cooler in the briefing room. I down several cups before I can feel remotely alive again.
"Jack. What happened?" The question I knew was coming, and the very same question I don't want and probably can't answer right now. I place the cup on the mighty wooden table and rub a hand over my tried and slightly irritated face, feeling the stubble of having neglected shaving for over a month; the razor in my kit had gone blunt and left me with no other option.
"You know, its funny," I reminisce with a sad, old voice, "it bugged her at first; the stubble I mean. But she got used to it, the feel of it on her skin, on her neck and back when she slept in my arms. She said it was nice sometimes, when it would tickle."
Daniels eyebrows knit together and a frown spreads across his face. He doesn't understand, probably doesn't even know what I'm talking about.
"Whilst we were on that planet Daniel, we had no one else. After a few months we gave up hope of being found, and we made arrangements. Look, why beat around the bush, you know Sam and I have feelings for one another, the whole base knows I've no doubt. We grew closer and." its no good. Talking about her like this drives the nail in my heart in even deeper. How could this have happened, how and why when we were so close to happiness?
Before he can say anything, I leave the room, brushing past him on the way. I need air and I need something to stop my damn eyes from itching. I try and convince myself that it's the change in planet that's making them sore, but I can't fool myself that easily. Something inside me feels empty and cold. I know, I just know that she's gone; I can't feel her here anymore. I used to be able to just know when she was near me; I'd get that feeling like I was being watched, like a million butterflies were dancing on my skin. So when Janet brings the news, the usual 'I'm so sorry,' 'I tried everything I could' 'she's gone' speech, I am left hollow. I sit in the cool night air and look up as the stars litter the black curtain draped across the horizon. The stars that once meant so much to me, brought me out of a world of suffering and killing to put me at peace now seem to taunt me. Sitting up there, so high and mighty, controlling the fate of the lives of the people below. Taking away loved ones in the blink of an eye. How could he? If there is a God, how could he do this to me? I have lost my chance at happiness thrice, each time stolen from me prematurely.
I run from the base, not stopping or looking back for anyone. I need to get away, somewhere I can do that thing I usually try and hide from. Think things through. I tell Janet that under no circumstances is she to do anything with the body. That I needed a few hours before I could say goodbye, and I wanted her to still be there when I was ready.
But inside I know the truth, I need to fix this. I need her back. I'm not ready and never will be to say goodbye.
TBC
Thanks for all the feedback so far! This story is marching on, don't worry. The next part will be up soon.