AN: So, apparently, I never finished this one…oops. Anyway, just to clear some things up; Rachel is pregnant with Joey's baby…she lied to Joey in the last chapter. Um, I think the other questions should be answered here.
Kind of Blue
Forever Blue
The room was spinning. She wavered slightly, but stayed rooted to her spot in the doorway. She felt Ross touch her arm in concern, but she shook it off, and struggled to gather her thoughts.
Of all the women in New York, Chandler Bing had managed to find her fiancé's little sister.
"Um, I take it you two know each other?" Ross asked tightly, his dark eyes darting from the love of his life, to the man he'd only known for an hour.
"Chandler? What's going on?" Monica's voice was shaky, and her face was remarkably paler.
Phoebe was the first to recover. She broke from her trance, and looked at Ross calmly.
"Chandler and I used to date," she tried to sound as casual as possible, but her comment came out much more flippant than she had intended.
She stole a glance at Chandler, and saw his expression darken.
"Anyway, it's ancient history, right Chandler?"
Chandler didn't reply; he studied his hands, which were balled up in his lap, while he struggled to form a coherent thought.
"Chandler?" Monica looked over at her boyfriend, and tried to keep all emotion out of her voice.
"I—I need some air," Chandler stood suddenly, and stormed out of the house, before anyone could reply.
The night air had a slight chill, he noted, as he stepped out onto the porch, and wrapped his arms around himself protectively. He shivered slightly, though he wasn't sure that the cold air was the cause.
He thought he was over her.
Chandler closed his eyes, and took a long, deep breath.
He was—he was over Phoebe. It was just…shock—the shock of seeing her, after all this time…
He could feel it, as soon as he entered the apartment. Something wasn't right. The air…seemed heavier…and it was darker somehow. He took a deep breath, and walked fully into the apartment he shared with his longtime girlfriend.
"Pheebs? You here?" his voice was shaking slightly, as he scanned the darkened room.
She was seated on the sofa, her hand folded reverently in front of her, her head bowed slightly. If Chandler didn't know any better, he'd say she was praying.
"Phoebe? Are you okay sweetie?" he walked toward her briskly, and kneeled down in front of her.
She didn't respond at first. She took a long, shaky breath, and shook her head slightly.
"What happened?" Concern was mounting in him, and he reached out and took her hands in his.
Still, she said nothing.
"Whatever it is baby, I'm here. I love you, and I want to help. What is it?"
She finally raised her head, and he was startled by how completely devastated she looked. Her eyes were bloodshot and swollen from crying. Chandler moved to pull her into an embrace, but she stood abruptly, and crossed the room.
He hid his confusion and disappointment, and stood as well.
"I'm moving out, Chandler," her voice was so soft, he was sure he hadn't heard her correctly.
"What?" he rasped.
"I'm leaving you. I tried to make it work but…you aren't the one I'm meant to be with."
"There's…there's someone else?" he couldn't bring himself to look at her.
"He…he's a scientist. Joey met him…last night…and I knew that…that it would all come out eventually."
"Joey…I…I don't understand…what did I do? Pheebs, tell me what I did! I can change, I can fix it…. please," Chandler pleaded softly, as tears filled his eyes and ran in long streaks down his face.
"I—I have to go. He's waiting," Phoebe picked up a bag that Chandler hadn't even noticed until that moment.
"Phoebe—" Chandler hiccupped, as she walked toward the door. She paused slightly, but when he didn't say anything, she opened the door, and walked out.
She never looked back.
And he vowed he would never let himself love anyone that way again.
"Small world," her voice sounded small, and raspy. Chandler took a moment before turning to face her, determined not to reveal himself.
"It's been…a while," he managed to croak, his eyes not quite meeting hers, his hands gripping the railing behind him with a fierce intensity.
"Chandler—"
"So this is the scientist, huh?" his words were cold and clipped, and Phoebe visibly winced, and wrapped her arms around herself tightly.
"Don't do this," Phoebe pleaded softly.
"Is he your soul mate, then? The one you're meant to be with?"
"Is she?" Phoebe countered harshly, and Chandler's eyes darkened.
He looked over Phoebe's shoulder, and at a silhouetted image of Monica. She was seated at the edge of the sofa; her hands folded in her lap, her face stoic. Ross was pacing back and forth behind her; occasionally stealing nervous glances out the window. Chandler's eyes fell onto Monica again, and he sighed deeply.
"I don't know," he whispered, "I haven't let myself go yet."
"Why?" Phoebe asked softly.
Chandler laughed bitterly, and turned his head away from Phoebe, and away from the tense scene inside. He shook his head slowly.
"Why? I think you know why, Pheebs. You ripped my heart out the day you left. I can't—I won't let myself fall that way again."
"That's not fair to her…is it?"
Chandler looked over at Monica again, his eyes misting.
"No," he whispered, "it's not."
Two Months Later
The rain pelted the windows with ever-increasing force, creating a chaotic thumping throughout the darkened apartment.
The weather only dampened Monica's already dark mood.
The weeks following the trip to Boston had been a disaster for everyone. Chandler and Phoebe had sworn up and down that they were finished, and that they were ready to move on with their respective partners. But as the weeks wore on, Chandler became increasingly distant, and Monica felt him slipping away. As much as it had broken her heart, she'd let him go, and was now trying desperately to pick up the pieces.
She'd replayed the final moments of their relationship over and over in her head, trying to figure out if she'd done the right thing—holding out hope that she had not.
"I was thinking we could go away this weekend…you know, just the two of us. We haven't had much alone time since—"
"I—I can't Mon, I…I have to work. I'm just…I'm really busy right now."
"Right. Well, you know what Chandler, maybe you should just give me a call when you aren't so busy…or so in love with somebody else!"
Chandler looked up, and she saw pain flash through his eyes.
"I'm not in love with her…I just need—"
"What? What do you need, Chandler? Tell me what I can do to fix this?"
Chandler's eyes fell to the ground, and he tensed slightly. He shook his head, and looked up at Monica, tears filling his eyes.
"You can let me go. It's for the best, Mon, it really is."
A sharp knock at the door ripped her from her reverie. She shuffled to the door, her heart praying that Chandler would be standing on the other side, drenched with rain and looking as miserable as she felt.
The person standing on the other side of the door was drenched, and did look miserable.
But she was also pregnant.
"Rach, what the—"
"Mon, I'm so, so sorry to intrude, but I…I didn't know where else to go!"
"Well come in! Let me get you a towel," Monica smiled warmly and led Rachel into the apartment. She pulled a guest towel from the linen closet, and handed it to her shivering former best friend.
"What happened to you?"
"I…Barry kicked me out," Rachel sobbed, and Monica winced as she collapsed onto her white sofa.
"Oh, honey, let's um, get you into some dry clothes, okay?" Monica pulled Rachel off of the sofa, and into her bedroom.
"I—I told him the t-truth," Rachel hiccupped, as Monica pulled out sweatpants and a sweatshirt, "About how I don't really l-love him, and th-that the b-baby isn't h-his," Rachel continued.
"You were cheating on him?" Monica asked, shocked by Rachel's revelation.
"I don't love him!" Rachel shouted, and Monica started.
"D-do you love this other guy?"
Rachel nodded silently, and sniffled loudly.
"B-but he h-hates me," she cried, "I-I broke it off. I-I told him the baby wasn't h-his."
"Did you talk to him? Tell him how you felt?"
Again Rachel shook her head, then looked up at Monica pleadingly.
"Mon, can I stay here tonight? I-I can't go home, and I can't go to Joey's. And my dad…oh, my dad is gonna kill me!" Rachel sobbed, and launched herself into Monica's arms.
"Shhh, it's okay sweetie, you can stay here," Monica rubbed Rachel's back soothingly, "everything's gonna be just fine."
If only she could believe that herself.
AN: I'm dividing up the conclusion into two parts. I'll try to get the next part up shortly, so I can be done with this one!! Woot!