"Ugh," Grisel groaned. "My feet hurt so freakin' bad! I'm hungry too." She sniffled.
"What do we have to eat, shorty?" She turned to Sam and started singing 50 Cent's "In Da Club" below her breath. "Go shorty, it's yo' birthday, we're gonna party like it's yo' birthday..."
Sam glared. "I'm not short. We have lembas bread," he threw her a wafer wrapped in
leaves. "Leave me alone."
Grisel shrugged, "Meh, okay." She unwrapped the bread and sniffed it. Waaaay too plain! So she took a bottle of hot sauce out of her purse, poured it on, and took a bite. Much better!
All of a sudden, who would appear in a poof of black, pink, and blue smoke but Whit,
Kelly, and Tabitha!
"Hey, guys! Wait -- What the heck are you doing here?" Grisel stared with confusion.
"Right, Sam?"
Sam was frozen with his eyes wide open.
"Sam?"
"He can't hear you. The same thing happened with Merry, Pippin, and the zillion orcs."
Kelly said.
"Oh." Grisel nodded.
Silence.
"So, uh, what was the point of you dragging everyone here, Whit?" Tabitha asked.
"Well, have you ever noticed that in sequels the people never wear the same clothes as
the original?"
"That's not entirely true," Kelly countered. "There was that one mo-"
"Quiet you! You're ruining my point. Plus, this was your request. You said it would be
yucky to wear the same clothes all throughout the story."
"Oh, you're right. I did. Go ahead then."
"Mmkay. To start off with, Tab-chan. You will now be wearing a pink tank top. Ew,
pink-."
"Hey," Tab glared.
"-Denim capris, and white tennis shoes." The clothes Tab had on were replaced with
them.
"Ew, denim," Kelly said.
"That doesn't have the same effect," Grisel looked pensive.
"Aw. Well, what am I gonna wear? Huh, huh?" Kelly bounced up and down.
"Calm down chibi princess! I'm getting to you! A black T-shirt, white jeans, and black
hiking boots." They appeared on Kelly.
"I feel suddenly.. Gothic." She looked down at her shirt.
"Uh, no. Grissy! Okay, how about a baby blue jacket, a white turtleneck, navy pants, and blue and white striped tennis shoes!"
Grisel looked down at her outfit. "Why?"
"You do see where you're going, right?" Whit pointed out the high mountains.
"Ohh..."
"And me. Jeans, denim jacket, black tennis shoes, and a black turtleneck ... thing." Whit's clothes appeared.
"You'll never change, Whit," said Grisel.
"And that's why you all love me so much! Well, let's leave Grisel with her hobbit boys!
Ciao for now, homie girl!" The three disappeared, leaving Grisel in a state of shock. Sam
and Frodo became unfrozen and looked her up and down.
"Intr'stin' clothing, Miss Grisel," Sam said.
"Mwhat?" Sam's expression changed. He suddenly pulled Frodo and Grisel to the
ground.
"Is it him again?" Frodo asked Sam.
"Huh?!" Grisel looked between them. I can't help but think that some of those slash
bunnies were right -- Okay. Ew. Don't go there! She shook her head.
"Yes, it's Gollum. When's he going to give up and leave us alone?!"
"What did he do to us?"
"He-he's stalking us!" Frodo replied.
"Oooh... Like we're celebrities or something? I have a stalker! I feel so special!"
Frodo and Sam stared at her blankly.
"What?"
"Nothing, Miss Grisel." Sam shook his head.
Later that night, a strange creature was crawling towards the three of them. Can you
guess who it was? C'mon anyone? Yes! It was.... Gollum!
"They stoles it from usss.... Our preciousss... We hates them!" He reached out towards
Frodo, but a hand stopped him. He looked up into a pair of brown eyes
"Hullo, Poppit. Whoa! Wait. That sounded totally freaky!" Grisel grinned to herself.
"Hello Poppit! Hallo Poppit! 'Allo Poppit!" She shrieked with giggles.
"Um, hewwow," Gollum tapped his wrist impatiently. "I have a facial in an hour."
"Oh, right. Hiyah!" Grisel karate chopped him in the chest. By this time, of course, Frodo and Sam were awake. Sam was taken back by Gollum and nearly strangled. Frodo pointed his sword towards Gollum's neck.
"This is Sting. You've seen him before, haven't you?"
Observing the sword, Grisel noticed something. "But, it doesn't look anything like
Sting!"
"What?" Sam struggled in Gollum's grip to look at her.
"Yeah. Sting's a singer. He's not really one of my favorites, but he's okay."
"Um, right. Well!" Frodo turned back to Gollum. "Release Sam or I'll slit your throat!"
As soon as Gollum released Sam, however, he made a run for it. A rope lassoed his neck. Grisel held up a sign that read 10.
"It burnssss us!"
The next morning, things weren't going much better.
"It still burnssss us!"
"Aw, shut up!" Sam tugged on the rope again.
"You're bloody choking him!" Grisel yelled. She was still moody. And Sam had poured
out a lot of her hot sauce the night before.
"He's the one who poured it out!" Sam nodded towards Gollum, who was writhing on the
ground in pain.
"Oh give it a rest Samantha!" Gollum and Frodo both 'Oooh'ed "You've had it in for
Gollum this whole time!"
Gollum started crying again. It really did make him look pathetic.
"Pleasse. Just let us die!"
"Oh no no..." Grisel ran over and hugged him. "You're far to important in the story line.
We can't let you die yet."
"You will lead us to the Black Gate, Gollum?"
Gollum nodded and Grisel took the noose from around his neck. The group treaded
onward.
~~~~~~~~~~
The Uruk-hai and orcs walked through a small gorge. Four of them had prisoners on their backs. Two of those prisoners were singing at the top of their lungs.
"Ohhhhhh! I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves,
everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it
goes. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's
nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes. I know a
song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a
song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes. I know a song tha--"
"SHUT UP!" Pippin and Merry shouted at Kelly and Tab.
"Okay then. Hm. Oooh, wait, Tabbers!"
"What, Kelly?"
Kelly grinned. It was a crazed grin, full of too many days on the smelly orc's back and
too few days that she'd been able to rest. "This is the song that never ends," Tab joined
in. "Yes it goes on and on my friends!"
~~~~
"Oh my gosh!" Legolas gripped his ears. "That horrible horrible noise! Why was I
blessed with such great hearing??"
"I hear them too." Aragorn followed suit and also covered his ears.
"You what?!" Whit yelled loudly.
"You're blessed with extremely bad hearing. Please give us bad hearing too."
Whit scrunched up her nose, "Whaaaat?!"
Legolas sighed, "Never mind. It must be the headphones." He picked up Whit's
headphones which were lying on the ground. The volume was already turned up all the
way. Upon pressing the button with the little arrow on it, Legolas's pointy ears were
filled with the following lyrics:
"Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies
So I don't know what's real and what's not
Always confusing the thoughts in my head
So I can't trust myself anymore
IIII'M dying agaaain
I'M GOING UNDEEEER!"
Legolas immediatly took the headphones off. "How can humans sing like that?"
Whit shrugged, "Most of us can't. Amy Lee sure can! She sings for Evanescence, my
favoritest band ever!"
"Umm, right." Gimli looked at her strangely. "Look, are we gonna follow the orcs or
not?"
"Oh, right!" Aragorn started running again.
((~~**+**~~))
Well, there's the first chapter of The Two Really Really Tall Towers! Coming soon: A
revised addition of The Fellowship of the Shiny Ring. See ya!
"What do we have to eat, shorty?" She turned to Sam and started singing 50 Cent's "In Da Club" below her breath. "Go shorty, it's yo' birthday, we're gonna party like it's yo' birthday..."
Sam glared. "I'm not short. We have lembas bread," he threw her a wafer wrapped in
leaves. "Leave me alone."
Grisel shrugged, "Meh, okay." She unwrapped the bread and sniffed it. Waaaay too plain! So she took a bottle of hot sauce out of her purse, poured it on, and took a bite. Much better!
All of a sudden, who would appear in a poof of black, pink, and blue smoke but Whit,
Kelly, and Tabitha!
"Hey, guys! Wait -- What the heck are you doing here?" Grisel stared with confusion.
"Right, Sam?"
Sam was frozen with his eyes wide open.
"Sam?"
"He can't hear you. The same thing happened with Merry, Pippin, and the zillion orcs."
Kelly said.
"Oh." Grisel nodded.
Silence.
"So, uh, what was the point of you dragging everyone here, Whit?" Tabitha asked.
"Well, have you ever noticed that in sequels the people never wear the same clothes as
the original?"
"That's not entirely true," Kelly countered. "There was that one mo-"
"Quiet you! You're ruining my point. Plus, this was your request. You said it would be
yucky to wear the same clothes all throughout the story."
"Oh, you're right. I did. Go ahead then."
"Mmkay. To start off with, Tab-chan. You will now be wearing a pink tank top. Ew,
pink-."
"Hey," Tab glared.
"-Denim capris, and white tennis shoes." The clothes Tab had on were replaced with
them.
"Ew, denim," Kelly said.
"That doesn't have the same effect," Grisel looked pensive.
"Aw. Well, what am I gonna wear? Huh, huh?" Kelly bounced up and down.
"Calm down chibi princess! I'm getting to you! A black T-shirt, white jeans, and black
hiking boots." They appeared on Kelly.
"I feel suddenly.. Gothic." She looked down at her shirt.
"Uh, no. Grissy! Okay, how about a baby blue jacket, a white turtleneck, navy pants, and blue and white striped tennis shoes!"
Grisel looked down at her outfit. "Why?"
"You do see where you're going, right?" Whit pointed out the high mountains.
"Ohh..."
"And me. Jeans, denim jacket, black tennis shoes, and a black turtleneck ... thing." Whit's clothes appeared.
"You'll never change, Whit," said Grisel.
"And that's why you all love me so much! Well, let's leave Grisel with her hobbit boys!
Ciao for now, homie girl!" The three disappeared, leaving Grisel in a state of shock. Sam
and Frodo became unfrozen and looked her up and down.
"Intr'stin' clothing, Miss Grisel," Sam said.
"Mwhat?" Sam's expression changed. He suddenly pulled Frodo and Grisel to the
ground.
"Is it him again?" Frodo asked Sam.
"Huh?!" Grisel looked between them. I can't help but think that some of those slash
bunnies were right -- Okay. Ew. Don't go there! She shook her head.
"Yes, it's Gollum. When's he going to give up and leave us alone?!"
"What did he do to us?"
"He-he's stalking us!" Frodo replied.
"Oooh... Like we're celebrities or something? I have a stalker! I feel so special!"
Frodo and Sam stared at her blankly.
"What?"
"Nothing, Miss Grisel." Sam shook his head.
Later that night, a strange creature was crawling towards the three of them. Can you
guess who it was? C'mon anyone? Yes! It was.... Gollum!
"They stoles it from usss.... Our preciousss... We hates them!" He reached out towards
Frodo, but a hand stopped him. He looked up into a pair of brown eyes
"Hullo, Poppit. Whoa! Wait. That sounded totally freaky!" Grisel grinned to herself.
"Hello Poppit! Hallo Poppit! 'Allo Poppit!" She shrieked with giggles.
"Um, hewwow," Gollum tapped his wrist impatiently. "I have a facial in an hour."
"Oh, right. Hiyah!" Grisel karate chopped him in the chest. By this time, of course, Frodo and Sam were awake. Sam was taken back by Gollum and nearly strangled. Frodo pointed his sword towards Gollum's neck.
"This is Sting. You've seen him before, haven't you?"
Observing the sword, Grisel noticed something. "But, it doesn't look anything like
Sting!"
"What?" Sam struggled in Gollum's grip to look at her.
"Yeah. Sting's a singer. He's not really one of my favorites, but he's okay."
"Um, right. Well!" Frodo turned back to Gollum. "Release Sam or I'll slit your throat!"
As soon as Gollum released Sam, however, he made a run for it. A rope lassoed his neck. Grisel held up a sign that read 10.
"It burnssss us!"
The next morning, things weren't going much better.
"It still burnssss us!"
"Aw, shut up!" Sam tugged on the rope again.
"You're bloody choking him!" Grisel yelled. She was still moody. And Sam had poured
out a lot of her hot sauce the night before.
"He's the one who poured it out!" Sam nodded towards Gollum, who was writhing on the
ground in pain.
"Oh give it a rest Samantha!" Gollum and Frodo both 'Oooh'ed "You've had it in for
Gollum this whole time!"
Gollum started crying again. It really did make him look pathetic.
"Pleasse. Just let us die!"
"Oh no no..." Grisel ran over and hugged him. "You're far to important in the story line.
We can't let you die yet."
"You will lead us to the Black Gate, Gollum?"
Gollum nodded and Grisel took the noose from around his neck. The group treaded
onward.
~~~~~~~~~~
The Uruk-hai and orcs walked through a small gorge. Four of them had prisoners on their backs. Two of those prisoners were singing at the top of their lungs.
"Ohhhhhh! I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves,
everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it
goes. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's
nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes. I know a
song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a
song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes. I know a song tha--"
"SHUT UP!" Pippin and Merry shouted at Kelly and Tab.
"Okay then. Hm. Oooh, wait, Tabbers!"
"What, Kelly?"
Kelly grinned. It was a crazed grin, full of too many days on the smelly orc's back and
too few days that she'd been able to rest. "This is the song that never ends," Tab joined
in. "Yes it goes on and on my friends!"
~~~~
"Oh my gosh!" Legolas gripped his ears. "That horrible horrible noise! Why was I
blessed with such great hearing??"
"I hear them too." Aragorn followed suit and also covered his ears.
"You what?!" Whit yelled loudly.
"You're blessed with extremely bad hearing. Please give us bad hearing too."
Whit scrunched up her nose, "Whaaaat?!"
Legolas sighed, "Never mind. It must be the headphones." He picked up Whit's
headphones which were lying on the ground. The volume was already turned up all the
way. Upon pressing the button with the little arrow on it, Legolas's pointy ears were
filled with the following lyrics:
"Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies
So I don't know what's real and what's not
Always confusing the thoughts in my head
So I can't trust myself anymore
IIII'M dying agaaain
I'M GOING UNDEEEER!"
Legolas immediatly took the headphones off. "How can humans sing like that?"
Whit shrugged, "Most of us can't. Amy Lee sure can! She sings for Evanescence, my
favoritest band ever!"
"Umm, right." Gimli looked at her strangely. "Look, are we gonna follow the orcs or
not?"
"Oh, right!" Aragorn started running again.
((~~**+**~~))
Well, there's the first chapter of The Two Really Really Tall Towers! Coming soon: A
revised addition of The Fellowship of the Shiny Ring. See ya!