Hello everyone, I would like to tell you my story. I was suppose to be in the show, but when that Mickey fella got wind of how I came into existence, he made sure I got the axe. Just because I'm not Disney enough! Well I for one am tired of being pushed around by some overgrown cat meal. I say down with the mouse and up with the ducks! After all Disney seems to do well with ducks. I'm not owned by Disney, I am a free agent, but the Mighty Ducks are owned by them, poor poor souls. Well, like I was saying, since ducks are so popular then we need a duck to be Disney's figurehead. All in favor for Donald being the main duck say I.

"I," a resounding acknowledgement from all Disney characters.

And opposed?

"Na ugh." (Someone comes up from behind and gags Mickey).

Shut up mouse you don't get a say in this vote. All right the I's have it. Donald is now the official figurehead of Disney. Now can someone take that mouse out of my sight!

"What should I do with him?" asked a shady character.

I don't know. Do whatever painful thing you wish to him, just as long as no one ever finds the body.

"You'll pay for this!" Mickey exclaimed, as he is drug off somewhere.

Sure I will. Thank the Lord. Now I can sleep easy knowing that he will finally stop stalking me. Okay now on with My Story'.

My Story

By yours truly.

Let me recount to you the tale of when I first met the Mighty Ducks. Well, maybe I should first tell you who I am. I'm a nobody, a figure in the shadows a forgettable face in the crowd, an outcast. My profession, thievery. Yup, I'm a thief. A no good piece of filth that society has bread as it evolves and delves deeper into a profit hungry world of corporations. Most people hate me, but what about those crooks in big business. Shouldn't you hate them too? They swindle you out of more money in a day then what I can grab out of your back pocket in a lifetime. Oh yeah, that's right, they are CEO's of big companies. They can do no wrong. Anyway I'm a thief, a pickpocket. No way I'm going to get rich. You have to be some kind of expert thief to get rich. Banks, rich people, jewels that kind of stuff. I'm not talented enough to do that. Now Duke L'Orange, he was the best. He was my idol. I wanted to be just like him, better even, but alas it was never to be. To be that good you need training and I didn't have any. I couldn't even get into the Brotherhood of the Blade', because I'm well, you know, different.

I got my first sight of Duke up close when I was little. I was a peeping tom back then, but one look at the great L'Orange, and my destiny was sealed. I was looking through a skylight down into a kitchen. A woman was at the stove cooking breakfast as her child was sitting in a high chair at the table. The kid was about a year old and was happily banging her drink cup on the table. She was babbling to herself as her mother hummed a song. The baby suddenly became quiet. I pondered why? I followed her gaze to the doorway, and there he stood in the flesh. Duke L'Orange! The baby let out a happy giggle and threw out her arms to him. He walked up to her to pat her playfully on the head, as she began to kick her feet. I swear he was quieter then a cat.

"Good morning, Duke," The woman said without turning around.

*How did she do that,* I wondered.

"Good morning, Ava."

Ava turned around and glared at him. "Where have you been?"

"Eh, no where," he said with a shrug.

"Don't give me that. Your in trouble again and need a place to hang for a while."

"Is it that obvious?"

"You only come here when you want or need something. I'm tired of it Duke. Why can't you just get a decent job like every other duck?"

"Listen sweet heart."

"Don't call me sweet heart," Ava said angrily as she waved the metal spatula at Duke. "You have a filthy habit and I would appreciate it if you wouldn't teach it to my daughter."

"Oh come on Ava, I haven't taught her anything."

The food on the hot griddle started to sizzle and pop, and Ava turned her attention back to the frying pan. "Oh yeah, you think so."

"Yeah."

"Well let me tell you this Mr., yesterday I took her shopping. We only went to a few stores in the mall. After I bought a few things and got lunch we left to go home. I put her in her car seat and turned to fold up her stroller and that's when I found them. There were a dozen or so wallets in her stroller. Duke she stole those wallets. I have no idea when but she stole them."

Duke looked down at the little girl in the high chair who giggled with delight as their two eyes met. She threw up her hands to him and laughed. Duke was about to pick her up but decided to check for his wallet, and yes it was missing. He cast her a devilish look, which she returned with a puzzled one. Duke held his hand out to her, palm up. She laughed and grabbed his fingers. He tore himself free and repeated the motion. The baby just threw her hands up to him. Duke sighed and lifted the child out of her high chair. Under her wet diaper sat his wallet. Duke picked up his wallet and placed it in his back pocket and went to change her. He came back and sat down at the table and bounced the child on his knee. Ava walked over and placed two eggs, some hashbrowns, and three sausages on the plate. "She's less then a year old, Duke, and she's already headed for a life of crime. What do you propose I do, hmm?"

The conversation soon turned to other things and I was getting hot, so I left. I never did find out if the kid was his or not. Who knows, the mother was an exotic dancer. The kids dad could have been anyone, a one nightstand, one of her clients, anyone. Besides it was none of my business. And I had my own problems. My dad was never in my life. My mom said that he provided for us, but sometimes we need more then monetary concessions. A card, a smile, a voice on the phone, a hug, a DAD. My mom worked extra hard to give us the things that she thought we wanted, but she was never there either.

I found school to be a joke, so I usually cut class. I was either playing hooky or stealing things from my teachers and classmates. I did have to practice my newest skills. One day I got caught stealing some money out of my teacher's purse for lunch. My mom wasn't too happy when she found out. She had a neighbor come over to punish me. She hated doing it herself, so she had other's do her dirty work for her. I hated the idea of a beating, and I REALLY hated the idea after I got one. As soon as my butt stopped throbbing I decided to run away. I was only twelve, but anyplace was better then there. I guess that at the time I figured I would go find my dad and I live with him. It was always a dream of mine to meet him.

So I ran away. I packed up a few of my things in my book bag. I think you humans call the backpacks (how can you pack your back?). Anyway, I left the house that morning and wondered around town. I realized at about noon that I was hungry and I didn't have the funds for a meal. Good thing that I have some special skills', right? So I swiped a few wallets, ordered a to go meal and continued on my way. Then it hit me. I was out in the open and my mom was probably aware of my missing personage from my room. Knowing her, she had already called the police, army and National Guard to find me. Okay, so I'm paranoid. I took to the shadows and allies. I kept one eye on where I was going and the other over my shoulder to make sure I wasn't being followed. How stupid was that?! I can assure you that it wasn't very smart especially after the sun went down.

I thought I saw someone following me, so I quickened my pace to loose whoever it was. I made many quick turns and doubled back several times. I finally lost my shadow, but I wasn't going to let him have a second chance at finding me. I kept up my fast pace and kept looking over my shoulder. Here's why that was stupid. I spent more time looking over my shoulder then where I was going. I ran into some guy and we both fell to the ground. I realized afterwards that he was a pickpocket. I'm using that term loosely here, because not only was he an amateur, but also a complete moron. He dropped all his wallets he had just stolen in our little run in.

He looked up at me stunned, then to the wallets on the ground. As he quickly salvaged his booty he growled at me, "you didn't see anything and never saw me."

"Sure," I scoffed.

"Don't get smart with me girl. If you know what's good for you, you'll keep your beak shut."

"Who would I tell?"

I guess he didn't like my mocking tone because he pulled a knife on me. For being a lousy thief, he has some' skill with a blade.

"So what's it going to be?" he smiled as he waved the blade in my face.

Okay, so I freaked. How was I supposed to know that I would freak? I thought that I had all the answers and that I could handle anything the streets could throw at me. So I was wrong. Everyone makes mistakes.

I was about ready to wet my pants and color them brown, but I guess heaven was looking out for me that day. An older mallard, I'd say in his late forty's early fifty's, came swooping down from who knows where and kicked the knife from his hand. "What are you doing?" he hissed.

"I got side tracked."

"You've got more then that! There are four cops on your tail, so you stop to pick a fight with a weak unarmed child! And a girl no less! What am I going to do with you Timothy?!"

"But Jack"

"No buts, get going. I'll take care of things here."

Timothy, the complete moron, as I like to call him, took off faster then a rabbit with it's tail on fire. If he had been any kind of thief, besides lousy, he would have headed straight for a covered escape. But not Timothy, he chose to take the lighted route and be spotted by everyone. I shook my head at his incompetence. Even I knew better.

"Tisk, tisk, tisk."

I spun around to find Jack' standing behind me.

"What is a pretty little darling like yourself doing all alone in a bad part of town?" Jack asked as he circled me.

"None of your business," I snapped.

"You've got spunk, but spunk will only get you into trouble. Go home kid, the streets aren't for you."

"You're not my dad, you can't tell me what to do."

I thought that it was a great comeback, don't you think? It didn't matter if he didn't know that I don't know my dad. It still sounded good. I could not believe what he did next. He laughed! He laughed at me! He would have continued on laughing if it had not been for the sound of running feet coming our way. I turned toward the sound, and when I looked back he was gone. A minute later the police were on top of me.

"Excuse me miss, but did you see a tall gentleman roughly twenty five years of age come this way?"

"Yeah, he ran into me then threatened me with a knife."

"That's yet another charge added to the growing list. Where did he go?"

"That way," I pointed the direction Timothy' went. I figured why not, considering that the police would only come back for me and take me back home. He deserved to be caught.

To my surprise the police didn't take me into custody, instead they ran off in the direction I had pointed. Oh well, that's what he gets for being stupid. With the police gone I decided to find Jack'. He went somewhere. I had to find him.

*So where did you go,* I thought to myself. *Okay, think. He knows that so-called thief, so he must be one too. If I were a thief, where would I go? the alley!* I walked into the alley, but he wasn't there. "Oh this is impossible!" I exclaimed and threw my hands up in defeat. As I did this I threw my head back and looked up at the sky. Good thing I did because I found him. He had climbed up the fire escape to the rooftop of one of the buildings. *Great* I thought. I hate heights, so he goes to the one place I'm afraid to go. Live and learn. I faced my fear and climbed the fire escape to go after him. Not only did I do that, but I also followed him to his hideout. Now let me tell you that is no easy task. I found out later that Jack' is the head of a very powerful crime organization. As a matter of fact, he's the head of ALL the crime organizations of Puckworld. Well, not all. The Brotherhood of the Blade is the one exception. Jack HATES the brotherhood. I can't blame him though. There is bad blood between him and their leader. Anyway, the trip to the hide out was very dangerous. If I had known about the hidden dangers I would have been more careful. For instance I miss judged Timothy's abilities. His some' skill with a blade was meager and weak, but his hand to hand combat skills were phenomenal.

"Your back!"

"Of course I'm back."

"What happened to the girl?"

"I told her to go home."

"Why didn't you slit her throat? That wench told the cops where I went."

Jack laughed. "It's not that hard to find you. She's got more skills on loosing people then you do in your big toe."

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"It means that I'm a better thief then you," I smiled as I stepped into the light from the shadows that I was hiding in.

"She followed you!"

"I had no idea," Jack said with a raised eyebrow.

"I'll deal with her!" Timothy exclaimed as he lunged at me.

"No wait!" Jack exclaimed.

He was too slow because next thing I knew Timothy was on top of me. He knocked me to the floor and started to strangle me. That was when Jack saved me for the second time that day. He ripped Timothy off me and slammed him against the wall.

"What's your problem?!"

"Keep away from her!"

"But"

"I said keep away from her!"

Timothy forcefully removed Jacks hands from his shirt. "Fine!"

Jack gave Timothy a final warning glare before turning to me. "Are you all right?"

"I've been better."

"I thought I told you to go home."

"Can't."

"Why can't you?" He growled.

"I I ran away."

"How old are you?"

"Twelve."

Jack smiled sinisterly at me. Damn that guy is twisted! "Twelve eh? So how do you propose that you're going to live on the streets at twelve. You're too young to get a job or rent an apartment. How do you propose how you're going to survive?"

"Easy, I'll manage."

"How?" he asked as he got into my face.

"I'll you know just" What was I suppose to say, he was in my face and starring me down?

"Just as I thought, you're going home!" he said as he stomped away from me.

"I will not!"

"Listen kiddo, you're either going home or staying here and the last one is not a choice."

"And going home isn't an option."

"Sweetie, I'm not arguing with you. You're going home and that's final."

"You're not my dad."

"I believe you said that before," he pointed at me.

"Yeah, so"

"Vadie, listen a life of crime is no life for a kid like you."

"How'd you know my name?" I never told him my real name, so how did he know it?

Jack smiled and shrugged, "I asked your mom?"

I didn't buy it. I didn't tell him my name and I know he didn't get it from my mom. The weasel got it from someone, and someone close to me. But who?

"If you really want to know, I've been watching you since you were little. A friend of mine asked me to, so I did."

"But"

"Listen, Vadie, your mom is going to be upset, so why don't you just go home?"

"I already told you I can't. She hates it when I steal."

"Then stop."

"I can't."

"You can't or just don't want to?"

"I can't. I try, really I do, but for some reason I always wind up stealing a wallet here, a candy bar there. I don't know HOW to stop."

"Okay, okay, I'll let you stay for the night, but you're going home in the morning."

That one night turned into many years, and his speech about trying to stop stealing changed to well if you can't beat them join them'. He figured I'd just get into trouble if I didn't have training. Timothy and I trained together, but it was obvious who was the better thief. I honed my skills as he became more deceptive. The stinking little rat joined the Brotherhood of the Blade and was spying on Jack's organization. He betrayed Jack to the Brotherhood, who in turn handed him over to the Saurians after they invaded the planet. I couldn't exactly let my mentor be killed, so I rescued him only to be captured by the cops. Well, Puckworlds' police force isn't that bright and I had special' outside help to spring us from the bird cage'.

To make a long story short we were returning to our hideout when we, Jack and I, stumbled upon a nest of Saurians. Something went wrong and unexplainable things happened. The next thing I remember was waking up in an alley next to a dumpster here on Earth. Jack wasn't with me and I figured he was still on Puckworld. I defiantly got the short end of the hockey stick on this deal! Did I just say that?

I wandered around aimlessly till I happened upon the Pond. Okay so I saw a billboard advertising the Mighty Ducks and I went in search for the arena. I was in luck when I found the place because there was a game that night. It was also a good thing that there was a commotion at the gate, because I got in without a ticket. Unfortunately some rich fat guy with no taste in clothing purchased the seat I sat in. Ugh that tie was HORRIBLE! Well he had security come over and check my ticket, which I didn't have. I didn't want to draw anymore attention to myself, so I went with the security guards. Once I got to the concord level (as they call it, you know the level with all the vendors and stuff) I made my escape. Okay so it wasn't as easy loosing them in a crowd of humans as it would have been in a crowd of ducks, but I managed to elude them. I crawled up to the rafters and watched the game from the catwalk. I got the shock of my life that night. Not only was I on a strange planet, but I was on the same planet as Duke L'Orange, my hero! If I could meet him at least one of my dreams would come true. Of course I couldn't just walk up to him and say Hi my names' Vadie, I'm one of your biggest fans'. I had to be tasteful and do this professionally. Do you really think that he would take me seriously as a thief if I couldn't prove my worth? I don't think so. I had to prove to him that the Brotherhood and its members were not as great as they thought they were.

Now this is where the fun begins. Like I said before I just couldn't walk up the Mighty Ducks and present myself. They would have laughed me right off the planet. Besides that wouldn't be much fun. My way was a lot more fun and I got to show off my skills. I kept out of sight. How you ask? Ever heard of ventilation ducts? Yeah it gets cold when the air conditioner is on, but that's what blankets are for. I made myself a small little nest and from my high advantage point I was able to spy on them and learn all I needed to know. I found Wildwing to be extremely stiff and at times a pompous jerk. Grin meditated constantly. I say he was sleeping, because I caught him snoring from time to time. Mallory was defiantly the fashion setter of the ducks and totally consumed with herself. Duke was my hero and I totally looked up to him, but you already knew that. His only flaw was his over infatuation with Tanya. I mean, what can he possibly see in her! She's fat, ugly, a total nerd, and she stutters constantly. I can't believe he would even kiss her, besides the other things I saw them doing. Of all the ducks I think Nosedive had the most potential. He's funny, good looking, young, energetic, defiantly the best player on the team, and he owned Magic. Who wouldn't fall in love with him? I mean Magic. So I like Nosedive, but seriously, he's NOT my type. He's almost as straight as his brother, Mr. Goody too shoes.

I pretty much think that I have got a handle on the ducks. So to create some havoc and spice up the story line a bit, I started to take things. Nothing big or valuable, just something to annoy them. I would take car keys and misplace' them, steal Mallory's bras and put them in Nosedive's dresser drawers, play with files on Drake One's harddrive and put them in new files. My favorite person to pester was Wildwing. Oh how I could go on all day laughing at that guy! Mallory was fun too, but she always blew up.

I soon started to take things and keep them hidden in my nest. Duke's hair gel and a necklace, Wildwing's novels, Nosedive's comic books and video games, Mallory's hair things and various other accessories, Grin's meditation crystals. There was nothing I wanted of Tanya's but I finally took a small insignificant ring out of her jewelry box. You should have heard all the commotion she made on that piece of crud. It was made of cheep metal and didn't even have any diamonds or engravings. Like I said, I never wanted anything of hers, so I put it back.

Everyone blamed Magic for his or her lost items, so I put everything, except for the necklace I stole from Duke, back. Geesh, blaming a poor little kitty for something I did. I figured that they would blame Duke, after all he IS a jewel thief, but a cat! Come on, he can't be THAT good.

I guess stealing those minor things was a foolish thing for me to do. Jack always told me that I thought small. To prove him wrong, and the others that said I could never become a top rate thief, I planned the most amazing heist of all time. This little test of skill would prove once and for all that I had what it takes to be a master thief. What was this unbelievable feat you ask? Well *snicker* I was going to steal something right from under the ducks beaks and they were never going to notice.

One night, after everyone was asleep, I carefully lowered myself from the ventilation duct to the floor of Wildwing and Nosedive's bedroom. I crept quietly across the room to their bunk bed. I was hoping Nosedive would be sleeping on the bottom bunk, but he wasn't. Oh well, Wildwing would do. It struck me as odd that he was still wearing his daily clothes, but it didn't matter for what I had planned. I carefully unbuckled his belt and slipped it from the belt loops. I undid his pants, and yes I stole them. I stole Wildwing's pants right off of him! Talk about getting caught with your pants down. I shouldn't laugh, but it's too funny. Okay, boxers or briefs?

Sorry, but I'm going to have to leave you here for a bit. I just heard the door open and I don't want anyone reading this. Thanks Silver for letting me post here.

SEC: Sure, no prob.

And I promise to get you those hockey lessons.

SEC: You had better. I REALLY need them.

All in due time my dear. So tell me what you think and thanks again to Elfy.