Not Beautiful
Pansy Parkinson doesn't like wearing skirts. After all, as her Mother had always said to her, skirts are only for girls with pretty legs.
She doesn't like wearing tight shirts, even underneath her Hogwarts robes, because she knows that only girls who are well-proportioned should ever, ever wear tight clothing.
She didn't wear high-heels to the Yule Ball last year, because she didn't want to draw attention to her rather-too-broad feet, and she never, ever likes to pull her hair up, as she doesn't want to reveal her far-less-than- perfect face to the harsh and critical world.
Pansy doesn't wear makeup because it never looks right on her, never looks the way it does on gorgeous people like Celestina Warbeck - Even the Weird Sisters, she thinks bitterly, are more attractive than she is.
She doesn't like wearing pretty earrings and necklaces, or the charm bracelets that are so popular with the young ladies at Hogwarts these days, because she can't do them justice, after all, can she? She would just spoil any nice jewelery she wore.
Pansy Parkinson doesn't ever try to be beautiful, because she knows that she isn't.
She tries not to be jealous when she looks at girls like those two Gryffindors, Lavender Brown and Pavarti Patil. And she tries not to stare at them while she wonders how they got to be so pretty and confident - Everything she is painfully aware that she isn't.
Pansy hates the way they look down at her, just because they're pretty and know how to be proper girls in a way she never will. Even that mudblood Gryffindor, Hermione Granger, gives her those condescending looks - ones that say 'Oh, poor Pansy, she's not beautiful'. At least, that's the way she's sure everyone thinks about her, anyway.
She tries to be happy with herself, even though she isn't pretty. She's secretly always scared that she might seem as insecure on the outside as she really is on the inside. She doesn't want anyone to know that she's weak enough to be so tormented by her looks.
Pansy closes her eyes as she takes a shower, because she doesn't want to see her body, so imperfect and far-too-large. She scrubs herself until her skin turns red - Mother always said that being clean was more important than being pretty, after all.
Pansy picks at her food at mealtimes, hoping no one notices. She eats, but makes sure not to eat too much, as Mother always told her that people who ate too much were lazy and greedy - and Pansy doesn't want to be any more imperfect than she already is. She vaguely hopes that she'll be thinner than the other girls at the Slytherin table if she eats less than they do.
She fervently hopes none of the girls in her dormitory hear her cry herself to sleep at night; she hopes they don't notice the way she does her hair at least twice every morning, never satisfied with the way it looks. Would it look better this way? Oh, not at all. That way? No, it's all the same - she knows she needs more than a change of hairstyle to help her.
Pansy Parkinson hopes no one notices the way she looks into every mirror she passes -- Because Pansy isn't vain, no; she's just checking to make sure that she's still not beautiful.
Pansy Parkinson doesn't like wearing skirts. After all, as her Mother had always said to her, skirts are only for girls with pretty legs.
She doesn't like wearing tight shirts, even underneath her Hogwarts robes, because she knows that only girls who are well-proportioned should ever, ever wear tight clothing.
She didn't wear high-heels to the Yule Ball last year, because she didn't want to draw attention to her rather-too-broad feet, and she never, ever likes to pull her hair up, as she doesn't want to reveal her far-less-than- perfect face to the harsh and critical world.
Pansy doesn't wear makeup because it never looks right on her, never looks the way it does on gorgeous people like Celestina Warbeck - Even the Weird Sisters, she thinks bitterly, are more attractive than she is.
She doesn't like wearing pretty earrings and necklaces, or the charm bracelets that are so popular with the young ladies at Hogwarts these days, because she can't do them justice, after all, can she? She would just spoil any nice jewelery she wore.
Pansy Parkinson doesn't ever try to be beautiful, because she knows that she isn't.
She tries not to be jealous when she looks at girls like those two Gryffindors, Lavender Brown and Pavarti Patil. And she tries not to stare at them while she wonders how they got to be so pretty and confident - Everything she is painfully aware that she isn't.
Pansy hates the way they look down at her, just because they're pretty and know how to be proper girls in a way she never will. Even that mudblood Gryffindor, Hermione Granger, gives her those condescending looks - ones that say 'Oh, poor Pansy, she's not beautiful'. At least, that's the way she's sure everyone thinks about her, anyway.
She tries to be happy with herself, even though she isn't pretty. She's secretly always scared that she might seem as insecure on the outside as she really is on the inside. She doesn't want anyone to know that she's weak enough to be so tormented by her looks.
Pansy closes her eyes as she takes a shower, because she doesn't want to see her body, so imperfect and far-too-large. She scrubs herself until her skin turns red - Mother always said that being clean was more important than being pretty, after all.
Pansy picks at her food at mealtimes, hoping no one notices. She eats, but makes sure not to eat too much, as Mother always told her that people who ate too much were lazy and greedy - and Pansy doesn't want to be any more imperfect than she already is. She vaguely hopes that she'll be thinner than the other girls at the Slytherin table if she eats less than they do.
She fervently hopes none of the girls in her dormitory hear her cry herself to sleep at night; she hopes they don't notice the way she does her hair at least twice every morning, never satisfied with the way it looks. Would it look better this way? Oh, not at all. That way? No, it's all the same - she knows she needs more than a change of hairstyle to help her.
Pansy Parkinson hopes no one notices the way she looks into every mirror she passes -- Because Pansy isn't vain, no; she's just checking to make sure that she's still not beautiful.