Disclaimer: Joss owns them, I own the season 4 DVD and a box full of tapes
with old episodes.
A/N: I wish dawn was my sister, at least that way I'd get to die saving the
world instead of helping her with her chem homework.
This week is Spain, next week will be Italy, I gotta say this little vacation with my sister deal is way cool most of the time I mean, when we are going to museums and go sight seeing or when we do some serious partying, and believe me when I say serious! She's loving it all, I'm loving it all, best vacations ever!
Except they aren't vacations they are escape. sure I get to skip school for a whole year and get to know all this interesting places and people and learning how to speak in a whole of different languages , is pretty cool, except when I get homesick, which is odd to think about because what I call home is now a big whole in the ground, but y'know what I mean, I miss Willow's pancakes every morning, I miss Xander's rides to school, I miss Giles up tightness , I even miss Andrew's geek ness sometimes but I'll never admit that to anyone, I miss Anya and I miss Spike, and what sucks is that I never said to either one of them how much they meant to me, I was too caught up being annoyed by her and too angry at him, now is too late.
Is kind of ironic too, they've seen it all, they lived their lives to the fullest, they were strong, they were the closest you get to Forever (that's because I don't remember being a gizillion years old Key) and still how they died, what they did back there is the one single thing that meant the most, they save humanity and here I am wishing they didn't .
She does too y'know? She is happy doing this 'showing me the world and get a rest at work while she's at it ' thing just like she promised me last year, but there are nights when you can see it, the pain she carries that pang of hurt that crosses her face from time to time when she sees something that remind her of him, and is those times when I totally get why we are here, so that she can pretend , pretend that he is there with the rest of the guys waiting for us to return filled with souvenirs and stories of our little adventure, she's not ready for him to not be there, not yet, maybe not ever.
Over the last month she's really open up, for her standars I mean, sometimes I Don't know if she doesn't tell me things because of how much it hurts her, or because shes' afraid she'll scar me for life, I hope someday she will be able to look back, sigh and smile at her memories, not look down and hold back tears.
She cries sometimes, that's not surprising. I mean she loved him and he's gone, but what actually surprised me the other day is that she let out a chuckle when we were in a Tower Records, she picked up a CD and laugh at it, when I asked her what was that about she handed it to me and she said it reminded her about Spike, that there was theirs song, then she left shaking her head like it was the most ridiculous thing she'd ever said, so I guessed it was some punk band album or something like that, imagine my surprise when I saw it , I mean that just added questions to my long list in the whole Buffy/Spike relationship, first because although I know how close they were I though that with all the hurting there was they didn't even have nice memories, let alone a song, but whatever I didn't ask, I know she'll tell me eventually, at least is nice to see her smile while thinking over her past, but believe me it is beyond me, the sky and the stars Why the hell a Bette Middler Song would remind her of Spike of all people.
I don't miss the demos that's a given, except Clem I like him maybe someday I'll get to have another Nachos and movie night with him, i bet he would be happy to see we made it out alive, he of course would be sad about Spike, but eventually we would en up sharing stories of him and laughing at his memory, that would be nice, maybe that's what I should so for her, to give her some clouser , to make her feel less alone in her grieving, yeah maybe that's what I should do.
Someday we'll get back i wish i'll be sooner than later, i'm ready to go back to being jr watcher , but i wont say a word yet, she needs this, she also needs to kick some serious demon ass but she need this, the time and space to heal her wounds.She's strong someday we'll be back. Anyway today is Madrid, next week will be Rome.
This week is Spain, next week will be Italy, I gotta say this little vacation with my sister deal is way cool most of the time I mean, when we are going to museums and go sight seeing or when we do some serious partying, and believe me when I say serious! She's loving it all, I'm loving it all, best vacations ever!
Except they aren't vacations they are escape. sure I get to skip school for a whole year and get to know all this interesting places and people and learning how to speak in a whole of different languages , is pretty cool, except when I get homesick, which is odd to think about because what I call home is now a big whole in the ground, but y'know what I mean, I miss Willow's pancakes every morning, I miss Xander's rides to school, I miss Giles up tightness , I even miss Andrew's geek ness sometimes but I'll never admit that to anyone, I miss Anya and I miss Spike, and what sucks is that I never said to either one of them how much they meant to me, I was too caught up being annoyed by her and too angry at him, now is too late.
Is kind of ironic too, they've seen it all, they lived their lives to the fullest, they were strong, they were the closest you get to Forever (that's because I don't remember being a gizillion years old Key) and still how they died, what they did back there is the one single thing that meant the most, they save humanity and here I am wishing they didn't .
She does too y'know? She is happy doing this 'showing me the world and get a rest at work while she's at it ' thing just like she promised me last year, but there are nights when you can see it, the pain she carries that pang of hurt that crosses her face from time to time when she sees something that remind her of him, and is those times when I totally get why we are here, so that she can pretend , pretend that he is there with the rest of the guys waiting for us to return filled with souvenirs and stories of our little adventure, she's not ready for him to not be there, not yet, maybe not ever.
Over the last month she's really open up, for her standars I mean, sometimes I Don't know if she doesn't tell me things because of how much it hurts her, or because shes' afraid she'll scar me for life, I hope someday she will be able to look back, sigh and smile at her memories, not look down and hold back tears.
She cries sometimes, that's not surprising. I mean she loved him and he's gone, but what actually surprised me the other day is that she let out a chuckle when we were in a Tower Records, she picked up a CD and laugh at it, when I asked her what was that about she handed it to me and she said it reminded her about Spike, that there was theirs song, then she left shaking her head like it was the most ridiculous thing she'd ever said, so I guessed it was some punk band album or something like that, imagine my surprise when I saw it , I mean that just added questions to my long list in the whole Buffy/Spike relationship, first because although I know how close they were I though that with all the hurting there was they didn't even have nice memories, let alone a song, but whatever I didn't ask, I know she'll tell me eventually, at least is nice to see her smile while thinking over her past, but believe me it is beyond me, the sky and the stars Why the hell a Bette Middler Song would remind her of Spike of all people.
I don't miss the demos that's a given, except Clem I like him maybe someday I'll get to have another Nachos and movie night with him, i bet he would be happy to see we made it out alive, he of course would be sad about Spike, but eventually we would en up sharing stories of him and laughing at his memory, that would be nice, maybe that's what I should so for her, to give her some clouser , to make her feel less alone in her grieving, yeah maybe that's what I should do.
Someday we'll get back i wish i'll be sooner than later, i'm ready to go back to being jr watcher , but i wont say a word yet, she needs this, she also needs to kick some serious demon ass but she need this, the time and space to heal her wounds.She's strong someday we'll be back. Anyway today is Madrid, next week will be Rome.