Chapter Four
Kit: Hi! I'm Kit!
Kat: And I'm Kat!
Kit: And you're watching RITS!
Kat: Really Insane Talk Show!
Kit: Now, today we have a rather special show, because our contest winner, Essie Aster, is going to be here, with her favourite character, Boba Fett!
*Crowd whoops and cheers, and a loud whistle is heard*
Kit: Okay, WHO DID THAT? FESS UP NOW, AND I JUST MIGHT SPARE YOUR LIFE!
Kat: Kit... calm...
Kit: I - CAN'T - TAKE - IT - ANY - MORE! I'M GETTING OUT!
*Kit runs off set with her hands over her ears, lalalalalaing loudly*
Kat: O...k... well, seeing as Kit has gone insane, I'll need a temporary host. *summons Legolas and seats him in Kit's chair*
Legolas: What... am... I... doing... here?
Kat: You're my co-host till Kit becomes uninsane.
Legolas: *pff* Like that'll ever happen.
Kat: *smacks Legolas over the head with his bow* She will become...less insane than she is now, then.
Legolas: *rubs head* Owwww....
Kat: OKAY! Time to get this show going. I now present to you... Essie Aster!
*a confused girl steps onto the set*
Legolas: Can I leave?
Kat: NO!
Essie Aster: What am I doing here?
Kat: You won our contest.
Essie Aster: Ohhh.... Cool!
Kat: So, Essie - I can call you Essie, right?
Essie Aster: Uh... I--
Kat: Good. So who's your favourite character?
Essie Aster: Boba Fett.
Legolas: What kind of a name is Boba Fett?
Essie Aster: What kind of a name is Legolas?
Legolas: *pulls out bow and sets an arrow to shoot*
Kat: Hey, hey, save it for later guys, this isn't Jerry Springer.
Legolas: Yeah, whatever. *draws arrow tighter*
Kat: Okay, NO SHOOTING THE GUESTS!
Legolas: Just one shot *puppy eyes* please.
Kat: Must...resist....cuteness!!!!!!!!! *covers her eyes*
Legolas: Kaaaaaattttt.....
Kat: Yes? *eyes still covered*
Legolas: Kaaaatttt....
Kat: WHAT!?!?!?!
Legolas: Can I please shoot her?
Kat: NO! That's final!
Legolas: Fine. *crosses his arms over his chest and pouts*
Kat: Aww, poor widdle Legsie...
Legolas: *Draws another arrow*
Kat: Okay, that's it. If you can't play nice, then I'm afraid I'll have to confiscate your little toy. *snatches bow and arrows from Legolas, and uses the Force to give then to a guy off set, who seals them in a barrel*
Legolas: HEY! MY BOW AND ARROW!!!!!
Kat: Sorry, but it had to be done. You might have hurt someone!
Legolas: THAT'S THE POINT!
Kat: As much as I'd love to continue this little chat with you, we really must be getting on with the show. So, heeeeeeere's Boba Fett!
*a dude in armour walks in, looking as dazed and confused as a guy can look when his face is hidden by a funky helmet*
Boba: What am I doing here?
Kat: You're the third person who's asked that so far. YOU'RE ON RITS, AND YOU'RE HERE TO BE TALKED AT.
Boba: Talked at? *pulls out a blaster* Nobody talks at Boba Fett!
Kat: *sighs* What is WITH you people today? All violent and aggressive. Sheesh. Whatever happened to a nice "Glad to be here"?
Legolas: Maybe we're NOT glad to be here.
Boba: Yeah, really.
Kat: Tough. If you're not glad to be here, why ARE you here?
Legolas: You won't let me leave.
Boba: And a herd of super-evil-hypnotic-plaid-scottish-cows-with-automatic-smoothie-making-machines-and-high-tech-propellors-strapped-to-their-backs are chasing me.
Kat: Super-evil-hypnotic-plaid-scottish-cows-with-automatic-smoothie-making-machines-and-high-tech-propellors-strapped-to-their-backs? That can only mean one thing!
Legolas: Six more weeks of winter?
Kat: Uh... that too. But, where there's super-evil-hypnotic-plaid-scottish-cows-with-automatic-smoothie-making-machines-and-high-tech-propellors-strapped-to-their-backs, there's usually...
Kit: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!! *waves furiously at everyone present, smiling a smile that makes your face hurt just to look at it.
Kat: KIT!
Kit: KAT!
Boba: FORCE, NOT HER!
Legolas: *rubs head (sorry, bit of an inside joke. Couldn't resist ^_^)* Oh no...
Kit: Legolas! HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! *hugs Legolas*
Kat: Hey! Remember the contract?
Kit: Oh yeah. But is hugging him against the contract? I'm happy to see him! Last time I saw him, he was unconscious in that purple dome in my head ^_^
Legolas: *shudders* I NEVER want to go there again.
Kit: BOBO!
Boba: It's BOBA. Say it right, its not that complicated.
Kit: Sure thing, Bo
Boba: It's BOBA
Kit: Yeah, whatever you say, Mr Fett.
Kat: Feeling better, Kit?
Kit: Yes, thank you, I'm a lot better. I had a can of lemonade ^_^
Kat: Oh no...
Kit: *hiccups* YUP! And, while I was lying in a giggling heap outside the apothecary--
Kat: There's an apothecary in town?
Kit: Yeah, you know. The place where they keep all the rabid squirrels until the government grants them better health care ^_^
Kat: Ugh... You sure you only had ONE can of lemonade? And what were you doing with the stuff anyway? You know what it does to you!
Kit: ^_^ I know! And I only had one can, honest!
Kat: Suuuuuuuuuure.
Kit: Yeah, whatever, Anywayz, I was lying there laughing, when I saw this brilliant flash of light--
Legolas: Was it your brain short-circuiting?
Kit: Close. When I could see again, I noticed that it was a tall dude with a highly polished head!
Kat: *gasp* You don't mean--
Kit: Yes...
Legolas: What?
Kit: *Runs off stage then runs back on, dragging a tall Jedi dude with a highly polished head* Say hi to Macey!
Boba: You!
Mace: Boba... I am your Father!
Boba: No, YOU KILLED MY DADDY! *starts to cry*
Kit: Aww, poor, poor Bobbers. *hugs Boba* Wanna come visit the purple dome in my head?
Boba: *sniff* Uh huh...
Legolas: NO! DON'T FOLLOW HER!!!
Kit: FIELD TRIP!!!!
Legolas: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Anakin: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Kat: Where'd you come from?
Kit: ANI! *huggles Ani*
Anakin: *is being crushed* Blonde guy! Help me!
Legolas: *looks at Anakin like he's crazy* You're gonna need the Jaws of Life to get her off you.
Kat: Kit... shouldn't we interview Boba now?*
Kit: Wha? Oh, yeah. The Bobmister.
Boba: IT'S BOBA!
Kit: I really couldn't care less, Booboo.
Boba: *mutters* It's Boba.
Kat: Sure, Bobo.
Legolas: Lighten up Bobbers.
Kit: ^_^
Anakin: Hey, I got a question for Bob, were you emotionally scarred for life when you saw your dad's head cut off? And why did you take his suit! Dude! That's wrong!
Boba: This isn't his suit. I duplicated it, cuz I liked the style. And yes, I've been scarred for life. *bursts into tears*
Kat: Poor Bobo.
Kit: Hey, whatever happened to the field trip?
Kit and Kat: TO THE FREAKMOBILE!
Legolas: This can't be good....
Kat: *grabs Legolas* Let's go!
*everyone piles into a large tie-dye painted bus, and it is flown to a place far away, but close by...*
Kat: WE'RE HERE!
Kit: WHEEEEEEEE! *runs around the purple dome in her head*
Legolas: It looks like....space.
Kit: Oh-- *claps hands*
*lights turn on and they can see the transparent purple dome, which they are within*
Everyone: Ooo...
Kit: ^_^
Kat: KIT! Watch this! *snaps fingers and two cases of lemonade and root beer appear*
Kit: YAY! *starts guzzling root beer and lemonade*
Kat: *whispers* Anakin, watch this. *snaps her fingers again and brings a mime into Kit's pop. the mime pops out of Kit's pop can, right in front of her face*
Kit: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!!! *scrambles backward and curls up in a ball, eyes screwed up in fear*
Kat: *snaps fingers and the mime turns into a little bug. Steps on the bug* I am sorry Kit.
Kit: OKAY! heeheeheeheeheehee...
Anakin: *laughing so hard he is crying*
Kat: *glares at Anakin*
Kit: Oh dear. We'd better get started on the questions before I go totally nutso.
Kat: Yeah. *pulls a slip of paper out of her pocket* Oh! yaebginn had a question for Boba. He wants to know if his suit has a place where he can pee.
Boba: No I do not have a place to pee, which is why I do not drink a lot. It takes a long time to take off the suit.
Kat: Someone's moody.....
Boba: Because I don't want to be here!
Anakin and Legolas: Join the club.
Kit: TO BAD! YOU'RE STUCK HERE! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!
Anakin, Boba and Legolas: O.o
Kat: Legolas, I thought you liked me?
Legolas: You're a freak!
Kat: THANK YOU! *hugs Legolas*
Kit: ^_^ Awww, it's a Kodak moment! *takes out camera and takes picture. flash blinds everyone present*
Anakin: My eyes! My poor eyes!
Kit: I can't seee!!!! A-WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! *spins rapidly and crashes into a wall* Ow... heeheehee...
Kat: *sits on her spinny computer chair and starts spinning rapidly* Wooo hooo!!!
Legolas, Anakin, Kit and Boba: *watch Kat spin, their heads following her* Whoa.....
Kit: FUNFUN!!! LEMME TRY!
Kat: NO WAY! GET YOUR OWN SPINNY COMPUTER CHAIR!
Kit: Well you don't have to be so rude about it. *crouches in the corner, muttering about "the precious"*
Kat: I'm sorry! *hands Kit a nice big cushy spinny chair*
Kit: YAY!
Kit and Kat: *spin around in their chairs* Wheee!
Legolas, Anakin and Boba: *run for the door*
Kit: HEY!
Kat: Come back!
*Legolas, Boba and Anakin try to force their way out the door, until they realize the door is just a bunch of lines crayoned on the wall.*
Legolas: There's no escape! *drops on his knees and sobs madly*
Kat: Awww poor Legolas. *hugs Legolas*
Legolas: *hugs Kat* maybe this isn't so bad....
Anakin: OH NO! They've brainwashed him!
Boba: We gotta get out of here!
Anakin: Help me, Boba Fett. You're my only hope.
Boba: O.o
Kit: ^_^ LETS ALL PLAY STAR WARS!
Anakin: What?
Kit: I don't seem to remember ever owning a droid.
Anakin: That's cause no dealer in their right mind would sell you one.
Kat: *is suddenly wearing one of Padmé's priddy gowns* Priddy! *dances around in the priddy gown*
Kit: *Is dressed up like Han Solo* YAY! TAKE THAT, REBEL SCUM!
*Kit and Kat look around at everyone.*
Kat: Aw, come on guys. You can't play Star Wars dressed like that!
*Kit and Kat spin rapidly, and everyone is dressed up in rather... unfitting outfits*
Legolas: *is wearing a storm trooper outfit* My hair! My hair! *rips off the helmet, only to find his perfect hair, as always, perfect*
Anakin: *looks in a mirror* Hey! MY hair! *is dressed up like Princess Leia in A New Hope* It looks so...
Boba: Tasty! *tries to take a bite out of Anakin's hair*
Anakin: Hey! Watch it! Or I might not give you Han Solo for your boss!
Kit: Thanks, Ani! You saved me!
Anakin: What? NOOO! *shoves Kit at Boba* Take her!
Kat: *still wearing one of Padmé's priddy orangy yellow gowns* This is fun! *twirls around and her hair is suddenly like Padmé's hairstyle* Wowsers!
Boba: OH no, you wanted to keep her so bad, she's yours! Plus... *is dressed up like Darth Maul* I don't think Sith work for Hutts.
Mace: Uh...
Kit:: Macey! I'd forgotten about you!
Mace: Everyone does.
Kat: *laughs hysterically*
Mace: *teeth clenched* Its - not - funny! *is dressed up like Yoda, green construction paper ears taped to his head*
Legolas: *in corner, with his helmet on the ground, brushing his hair in front of a mirror* My hair...my precious hair....
Kat: *still twirling around in Padmé's gown*
*suddenly Padmé appears, in a pair of fuzzy pajama pants, a tank top and bunny slippers*
Padmé: I believe that is my gown.
Kat: I'm wearing it.
Padmé: Well I wanna!
Kat: You have 50 bizillion gowns, choose another one!
Padmé: Well I want that one!
Kat: You're not Queen anymore, girly! You can't boss ME around!
Padmé: Oh yeah?
Kat: YEAH!
Padmé: Yeah?
Kat: Yeah!
Padmé: Well... well... *starts to cry and runs out the door*
Kat: HA!
Anakin: Padmé! *tries to run after he but the door is suddenly crayon lines again* Son of a Sith!
Kit and Kat: *gasp*
Legolas: Watch your language around the ladies!
Anakin: Know what, Blondie? I don't care! I don't care if your hair is messed. I don't care if I swore at them. I DON'T CARE IF MACE SINGS AN IRISH DITTY! I WANT OUT OF HERE! I need to comfort my Padmé!
Mace: *sings* In Dublin's fair city, where girls are so pretty...
Kit: *is suddenly dressed like a leprechaun and starts dancing an Irish dance* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOT MOLLY MALONE! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! THAT SONG SCARES ME! YET I STILL DANCE TO IT! I'M SCARED OUT OF MY WHITS, YET I STILL DRESS UP LIKE A LEPRECHAUN AND SING! GO FIGURE! LALALA!
*the song goes on for awhile...*
Mace: *finishing up the song* And her ghost wheels the barrow through the streets broad and narrow cryin' cockles and mussels, alive, alive oh!
Kit: *screams and dances around the dome*
Anakin: *on the ground crying*
Legolas: *bobbing his head to the song*
Kat: *twirling in the dress* It looks so priddy!
*cut to Padmé's house where she is trying to find another dress to wear. cut back to Kit and Kat*
Legolas: *looks up from the corner* Sorry to interrupt, but isn't this supposed to be a talk show? I mean, aren't we supposed to be interviewing Boba?
Kit: You're right! We are! I guess we were having so much fun we plum forgot! Essie! Anything you wanna ask Boba?
*they look around and notice that Essie Aster is nowhere in sight*
Anakin: Wha... where'd she go?
*laughter is heard. They look out the transparent dome walls to see Essie Aster outside waving*
*Boba, Anakin and Legolas stand up, shocked*
Legolas: Wha...? HOW DID SHE GET OUT?! THERE'S NO DOOR!
*Essie turns to leave*
Boba: NOOOOO! *runs up to the non-existent door, slams up against it and sticks* YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE ME HERE! TAKE ME WITH YOU!! PLEASE!
Anakin: *curled up in a ball, muttering insanely* No escape... no escape... death... pain... insanity... PASTRIES!
Kit: Kat... maybe we shouldn't give readers cameos. I think it goes to our heads.
Kat: I think you're right *twirls around in the dress* Think we should let Boba go?
Kit: Are you kidding? We haven't finished interrogating him yet! And he looks SOOOOOO CUTE in that Darth Maul outfit!
Boba: I - AM - NOT - CUTE. I - AM - THE - MOST - DANGEROUS - MAN - IN - THE - GALAXY!
Anakin: Awwwwww.... Why couldn't I be the most dangerous man in the galaxy?
Boba: You're not all powerful.
Anakin: Well I should be. Some day I will be. I will even learn to stop people from dying!
Legolas: Whoa. someone's a little angst-y today
Anakin: *uses the Force to choke Legolas*
Kat: LEGOLAS! *uses the Force to throw Anakin backwards*
*Legolas falls down to the ground, gasping for breath. Kat runs to his side*
Kat: Legolas... My Legolas...
Legolas: It's too late... it's...
Kat: No!
Legolas: Kat, promise... promise me you'll train the boy...
Kat: Yes, Master.
Legolas: He is the Chosen One... he will bring balance... train him...
*Legolas falls back and lies still*
Kat: *whispers* No... Legolas... *cries*
Kit: *pokes Legolas* Chill, he's just asleep.
Kat: What?
Legolas: *snores*
Kat: Why, that little... *slaps Legolas round the face*
Legolas: *wakes up* OW! What was that for?!
Kat: For putting me through such trauma. I thought you were dead!
Legolas: Cool!
Kat: *glares*
Legolas: I... I mean, not cool. Very not cool. I'm sorry, Kat.. *hugs Kat*
Kat: YAY!
Legolas: So am I forgiven?
Kat: Yup!
Legolas: Great. So, can I go now?
Kat: *laughs hysterically* Nope, Legolas, you're stuck with me for a long time.
Legolas: *groans*
Kat: What was that?
Legolas: I said, uh, "yippee"?
Kat: That's better.
Boba: Can I pleeeeease leave?
Kit: Sure.
Boba: :-D YAY!
Kit: Right after we ask you a few either/or questions, since we don't have much time left.
Boba: Ask away!
Kit: Alright. We will give you two options, and I want you to pick the one you like the most. Okay?
Boba: Yeah, sure, go ahead.
Kit: Gruel or porridge?
Boba: Porridge.
Kat: Butterflies or ponies?
Boba: Butterflies.
Anakin: Blaster or lightsaber?
Boba: Blaster.
Kit: Cocoa or coffee?
Boba: Neither. I told you, I try not to drink stuff.
Kit: Oh yeah. Pink or purple?
Boba: Pink. Pink's priiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiddy.
Anakin: Boxers or briefs?
Boba: Um... that's a very personal question... I'd prefer not to answer it.
Anakin: No problem.
Legolas: Half ponytail or pig-tails?
Boba: Pig-tails.
Legolas: Okey-dokey! *takes out mirror and fiddles with his hair*
Kat: Okay, Kit, I think it's about time we let Bobbers go. We're almost out of time.
Kit: Awwww...
Boba: Yes!
Legolas: Please.
Anakin: *eyes shut tight* There's no place like home. There's no place like home. There's no place like home.
Kit: *pouts* Oh, okay. *stands motionless*
Legolas: I thought you were gonna let us leave!
Kit: Look around you, genius.
*they are back in the studio*
Anakin: FREEDOM!!!! *runs off set, yelling about a permanent vacation*
Boba: C'I go too?
Kat: Sure.
Boba: YES! *turns on his rocket pack and flies away*
Legolas: What about me?
Kat: I've got something... special in mind for you...
Legolas: *gulps*
*cuts to a shot of Legolas trying to teach Kat archery*
Legolas: OW!
Kat: SORRY!
Kit: OW!
Kat: SORRY!
Kit: *rubbing her arm* We should probably end the show before you hurt yourself.
Kat: OW!
Legolas: Too late.
Kit: I meant, we should leave before those medics come back.
Kat: Good idea. OW!
Kit: Well, here ends another episode of RITS.
Kat: Really Insane Talk Sh-- OW!
Kit: I'm Kit
Kat: And I'm K--
Legolas: AAAAA! *ducks*
Kit: Thanks for watching!
Kat: Bye!
*Show ends with a shot of Legolas crouched on the floor, Kit nursing her wounds, and Kat aiming another arrow. shot fades out*
Legolas: OW!
A/N - Kit: :-D 'nother chappie finished! If you have any questions for Padmé and her handmaidens and Dormé and Cordé, send 'em to KitandKat@proud2beafreak.zzn.com.
Kat: *jumps out and hands lemonade to each and every reviewer* Thank you for your kind words! Here, one for you and you and you...
Kit: Hi! I'm Kit!
Kat: And I'm Kat!
Kit: And you're watching RITS!
Kat: Really Insane Talk Show!
Kit: Now, today we have a rather special show, because our contest winner, Essie Aster, is going to be here, with her favourite character, Boba Fett!
*Crowd whoops and cheers, and a loud whistle is heard*
Kit: Okay, WHO DID THAT? FESS UP NOW, AND I JUST MIGHT SPARE YOUR LIFE!
Kat: Kit... calm...
Kit: I - CAN'T - TAKE - IT - ANY - MORE! I'M GETTING OUT!
*Kit runs off set with her hands over her ears, lalalalalaing loudly*
Kat: O...k... well, seeing as Kit has gone insane, I'll need a temporary host. *summons Legolas and seats him in Kit's chair*
Legolas: What... am... I... doing... here?
Kat: You're my co-host till Kit becomes uninsane.
Legolas: *pff* Like that'll ever happen.
Kat: *smacks Legolas over the head with his bow* She will become...less insane than she is now, then.
Legolas: *rubs head* Owwww....
Kat: OKAY! Time to get this show going. I now present to you... Essie Aster!
*a confused girl steps onto the set*
Legolas: Can I leave?
Kat: NO!
Essie Aster: What am I doing here?
Kat: You won our contest.
Essie Aster: Ohhh.... Cool!
Kat: So, Essie - I can call you Essie, right?
Essie Aster: Uh... I--
Kat: Good. So who's your favourite character?
Essie Aster: Boba Fett.
Legolas: What kind of a name is Boba Fett?
Essie Aster: What kind of a name is Legolas?
Legolas: *pulls out bow and sets an arrow to shoot*
Kat: Hey, hey, save it for later guys, this isn't Jerry Springer.
Legolas: Yeah, whatever. *draws arrow tighter*
Kat: Okay, NO SHOOTING THE GUESTS!
Legolas: Just one shot *puppy eyes* please.
Kat: Must...resist....cuteness!!!!!!!!! *covers her eyes*
Legolas: Kaaaaaattttt.....
Kat: Yes? *eyes still covered*
Legolas: Kaaaatttt....
Kat: WHAT!?!?!?!
Legolas: Can I please shoot her?
Kat: NO! That's final!
Legolas: Fine. *crosses his arms over his chest and pouts*
Kat: Aww, poor widdle Legsie...
Legolas: *Draws another arrow*
Kat: Okay, that's it. If you can't play nice, then I'm afraid I'll have to confiscate your little toy. *snatches bow and arrows from Legolas, and uses the Force to give then to a guy off set, who seals them in a barrel*
Legolas: HEY! MY BOW AND ARROW!!!!!
Kat: Sorry, but it had to be done. You might have hurt someone!
Legolas: THAT'S THE POINT!
Kat: As much as I'd love to continue this little chat with you, we really must be getting on with the show. So, heeeeeeere's Boba Fett!
*a dude in armour walks in, looking as dazed and confused as a guy can look when his face is hidden by a funky helmet*
Boba: What am I doing here?
Kat: You're the third person who's asked that so far. YOU'RE ON RITS, AND YOU'RE HERE TO BE TALKED AT.
Boba: Talked at? *pulls out a blaster* Nobody talks at Boba Fett!
Kat: *sighs* What is WITH you people today? All violent and aggressive. Sheesh. Whatever happened to a nice "Glad to be here"?
Legolas: Maybe we're NOT glad to be here.
Boba: Yeah, really.
Kat: Tough. If you're not glad to be here, why ARE you here?
Legolas: You won't let me leave.
Boba: And a herd of super-evil-hypnotic-plaid-scottish-cows-with-automatic-smoothie-making-machines-and-high-tech-propellors-strapped-to-their-backs are chasing me.
Kat: Super-evil-hypnotic-plaid-scottish-cows-with-automatic-smoothie-making-machines-and-high-tech-propellors-strapped-to-their-backs? That can only mean one thing!
Legolas: Six more weeks of winter?
Kat: Uh... that too. But, where there's super-evil-hypnotic-plaid-scottish-cows-with-automatic-smoothie-making-machines-and-high-tech-propellors-strapped-to-their-backs, there's usually...
Kit: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!! *waves furiously at everyone present, smiling a smile that makes your face hurt just to look at it.
Kat: KIT!
Kit: KAT!
Boba: FORCE, NOT HER!
Legolas: *rubs head (sorry, bit of an inside joke. Couldn't resist ^_^)* Oh no...
Kit: Legolas! HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! *hugs Legolas*
Kat: Hey! Remember the contract?
Kit: Oh yeah. But is hugging him against the contract? I'm happy to see him! Last time I saw him, he was unconscious in that purple dome in my head ^_^
Legolas: *shudders* I NEVER want to go there again.
Kit: BOBO!
Boba: It's BOBA. Say it right, its not that complicated.
Kit: Sure thing, Bo
Boba: It's BOBA
Kit: Yeah, whatever you say, Mr Fett.
Kat: Feeling better, Kit?
Kit: Yes, thank you, I'm a lot better. I had a can of lemonade ^_^
Kat: Oh no...
Kit: *hiccups* YUP! And, while I was lying in a giggling heap outside the apothecary--
Kat: There's an apothecary in town?
Kit: Yeah, you know. The place where they keep all the rabid squirrels until the government grants them better health care ^_^
Kat: Ugh... You sure you only had ONE can of lemonade? And what were you doing with the stuff anyway? You know what it does to you!
Kit: ^_^ I know! And I only had one can, honest!
Kat: Suuuuuuuuuure.
Kit: Yeah, whatever, Anywayz, I was lying there laughing, when I saw this brilliant flash of light--
Legolas: Was it your brain short-circuiting?
Kit: Close. When I could see again, I noticed that it was a tall dude with a highly polished head!
Kat: *gasp* You don't mean--
Kit: Yes...
Legolas: What?
Kit: *Runs off stage then runs back on, dragging a tall Jedi dude with a highly polished head* Say hi to Macey!
Boba: You!
Mace: Boba... I am your Father!
Boba: No, YOU KILLED MY DADDY! *starts to cry*
Kit: Aww, poor, poor Bobbers. *hugs Boba* Wanna come visit the purple dome in my head?
Boba: *sniff* Uh huh...
Legolas: NO! DON'T FOLLOW HER!!!
Kit: FIELD TRIP!!!!
Legolas: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Anakin: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Kat: Where'd you come from?
Kit: ANI! *huggles Ani*
Anakin: *is being crushed* Blonde guy! Help me!
Legolas: *looks at Anakin like he's crazy* You're gonna need the Jaws of Life to get her off you.
Kat: Kit... shouldn't we interview Boba now?*
Kit: Wha? Oh, yeah. The Bobmister.
Boba: IT'S BOBA!
Kit: I really couldn't care less, Booboo.
Boba: *mutters* It's Boba.
Kat: Sure, Bobo.
Legolas: Lighten up Bobbers.
Kit: ^_^
Anakin: Hey, I got a question for Bob, were you emotionally scarred for life when you saw your dad's head cut off? And why did you take his suit! Dude! That's wrong!
Boba: This isn't his suit. I duplicated it, cuz I liked the style. And yes, I've been scarred for life. *bursts into tears*
Kat: Poor Bobo.
Kit: Hey, whatever happened to the field trip?
Kit and Kat: TO THE FREAKMOBILE!
Legolas: This can't be good....
Kat: *grabs Legolas* Let's go!
*everyone piles into a large tie-dye painted bus, and it is flown to a place far away, but close by...*
Kat: WE'RE HERE!
Kit: WHEEEEEEEE! *runs around the purple dome in her head*
Legolas: It looks like....space.
Kit: Oh-- *claps hands*
*lights turn on and they can see the transparent purple dome, which they are within*
Everyone: Ooo...
Kit: ^_^
Kat: KIT! Watch this! *snaps fingers and two cases of lemonade and root beer appear*
Kit: YAY! *starts guzzling root beer and lemonade*
Kat: *whispers* Anakin, watch this. *snaps her fingers again and brings a mime into Kit's pop. the mime pops out of Kit's pop can, right in front of her face*
Kit: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!!! *scrambles backward and curls up in a ball, eyes screwed up in fear*
Kat: *snaps fingers and the mime turns into a little bug. Steps on the bug* I am sorry Kit.
Kit: OKAY! heeheeheeheeheehee...
Anakin: *laughing so hard he is crying*
Kat: *glares at Anakin*
Kit: Oh dear. We'd better get started on the questions before I go totally nutso.
Kat: Yeah. *pulls a slip of paper out of her pocket* Oh! yaebginn had a question for Boba. He wants to know if his suit has a place where he can pee.
Boba: No I do not have a place to pee, which is why I do not drink a lot. It takes a long time to take off the suit.
Kat: Someone's moody.....
Boba: Because I don't want to be here!
Anakin and Legolas: Join the club.
Kit: TO BAD! YOU'RE STUCK HERE! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!
Anakin, Boba and Legolas: O.o
Kat: Legolas, I thought you liked me?
Legolas: You're a freak!
Kat: THANK YOU! *hugs Legolas*
Kit: ^_^ Awww, it's a Kodak moment! *takes out camera and takes picture. flash blinds everyone present*
Anakin: My eyes! My poor eyes!
Kit: I can't seee!!!! A-WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! *spins rapidly and crashes into a wall* Ow... heeheehee...
Kat: *sits on her spinny computer chair and starts spinning rapidly* Wooo hooo!!!
Legolas, Anakin, Kit and Boba: *watch Kat spin, their heads following her* Whoa.....
Kit: FUNFUN!!! LEMME TRY!
Kat: NO WAY! GET YOUR OWN SPINNY COMPUTER CHAIR!
Kit: Well you don't have to be so rude about it. *crouches in the corner, muttering about "the precious"*
Kat: I'm sorry! *hands Kit a nice big cushy spinny chair*
Kit: YAY!
Kit and Kat: *spin around in their chairs* Wheee!
Legolas, Anakin and Boba: *run for the door*
Kit: HEY!
Kat: Come back!
*Legolas, Boba and Anakin try to force their way out the door, until they realize the door is just a bunch of lines crayoned on the wall.*
Legolas: There's no escape! *drops on his knees and sobs madly*
Kat: Awww poor Legolas. *hugs Legolas*
Legolas: *hugs Kat* maybe this isn't so bad....
Anakin: OH NO! They've brainwashed him!
Boba: We gotta get out of here!
Anakin: Help me, Boba Fett. You're my only hope.
Boba: O.o
Kit: ^_^ LETS ALL PLAY STAR WARS!
Anakin: What?
Kit: I don't seem to remember ever owning a droid.
Anakin: That's cause no dealer in their right mind would sell you one.
Kat: *is suddenly wearing one of Padmé's priddy gowns* Priddy! *dances around in the priddy gown*
Kit: *Is dressed up like Han Solo* YAY! TAKE THAT, REBEL SCUM!
*Kit and Kat look around at everyone.*
Kat: Aw, come on guys. You can't play Star Wars dressed like that!
*Kit and Kat spin rapidly, and everyone is dressed up in rather... unfitting outfits*
Legolas: *is wearing a storm trooper outfit* My hair! My hair! *rips off the helmet, only to find his perfect hair, as always, perfect*
Anakin: *looks in a mirror* Hey! MY hair! *is dressed up like Princess Leia in A New Hope* It looks so...
Boba: Tasty! *tries to take a bite out of Anakin's hair*
Anakin: Hey! Watch it! Or I might not give you Han Solo for your boss!
Kit: Thanks, Ani! You saved me!
Anakin: What? NOOO! *shoves Kit at Boba* Take her!
Kat: *still wearing one of Padmé's priddy orangy yellow gowns* This is fun! *twirls around and her hair is suddenly like Padmé's hairstyle* Wowsers!
Boba: OH no, you wanted to keep her so bad, she's yours! Plus... *is dressed up like Darth Maul* I don't think Sith work for Hutts.
Mace: Uh...
Kit:: Macey! I'd forgotten about you!
Mace: Everyone does.
Kat: *laughs hysterically*
Mace: *teeth clenched* Its - not - funny! *is dressed up like Yoda, green construction paper ears taped to his head*
Legolas: *in corner, with his helmet on the ground, brushing his hair in front of a mirror* My hair...my precious hair....
Kat: *still twirling around in Padmé's gown*
*suddenly Padmé appears, in a pair of fuzzy pajama pants, a tank top and bunny slippers*
Padmé: I believe that is my gown.
Kat: I'm wearing it.
Padmé: Well I wanna!
Kat: You have 50 bizillion gowns, choose another one!
Padmé: Well I want that one!
Kat: You're not Queen anymore, girly! You can't boss ME around!
Padmé: Oh yeah?
Kat: YEAH!
Padmé: Yeah?
Kat: Yeah!
Padmé: Well... well... *starts to cry and runs out the door*
Kat: HA!
Anakin: Padmé! *tries to run after he but the door is suddenly crayon lines again* Son of a Sith!
Kit and Kat: *gasp*
Legolas: Watch your language around the ladies!
Anakin: Know what, Blondie? I don't care! I don't care if your hair is messed. I don't care if I swore at them. I DON'T CARE IF MACE SINGS AN IRISH DITTY! I WANT OUT OF HERE! I need to comfort my Padmé!
Mace: *sings* In Dublin's fair city, where girls are so pretty...
Kit: *is suddenly dressed like a leprechaun and starts dancing an Irish dance* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOT MOLLY MALONE! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! THAT SONG SCARES ME! YET I STILL DANCE TO IT! I'M SCARED OUT OF MY WHITS, YET I STILL DRESS UP LIKE A LEPRECHAUN AND SING! GO FIGURE! LALALA!
*the song goes on for awhile...*
Mace: *finishing up the song* And her ghost wheels the barrow through the streets broad and narrow cryin' cockles and mussels, alive, alive oh!
Kit: *screams and dances around the dome*
Anakin: *on the ground crying*
Legolas: *bobbing his head to the song*
Kat: *twirling in the dress* It looks so priddy!
*cut to Padmé's house where she is trying to find another dress to wear. cut back to Kit and Kat*
Legolas: *looks up from the corner* Sorry to interrupt, but isn't this supposed to be a talk show? I mean, aren't we supposed to be interviewing Boba?
Kit: You're right! We are! I guess we were having so much fun we plum forgot! Essie! Anything you wanna ask Boba?
*they look around and notice that Essie Aster is nowhere in sight*
Anakin: Wha... where'd she go?
*laughter is heard. They look out the transparent dome walls to see Essie Aster outside waving*
*Boba, Anakin and Legolas stand up, shocked*
Legolas: Wha...? HOW DID SHE GET OUT?! THERE'S NO DOOR!
*Essie turns to leave*
Boba: NOOOOO! *runs up to the non-existent door, slams up against it and sticks* YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE ME HERE! TAKE ME WITH YOU!! PLEASE!
Anakin: *curled up in a ball, muttering insanely* No escape... no escape... death... pain... insanity... PASTRIES!
Kit: Kat... maybe we shouldn't give readers cameos. I think it goes to our heads.
Kat: I think you're right *twirls around in the dress* Think we should let Boba go?
Kit: Are you kidding? We haven't finished interrogating him yet! And he looks SOOOOOO CUTE in that Darth Maul outfit!
Boba: I - AM - NOT - CUTE. I - AM - THE - MOST - DANGEROUS - MAN - IN - THE - GALAXY!
Anakin: Awwwwww.... Why couldn't I be the most dangerous man in the galaxy?
Boba: You're not all powerful.
Anakin: Well I should be. Some day I will be. I will even learn to stop people from dying!
Legolas: Whoa. someone's a little angst-y today
Anakin: *uses the Force to choke Legolas*
Kat: LEGOLAS! *uses the Force to throw Anakin backwards*
*Legolas falls down to the ground, gasping for breath. Kat runs to his side*
Kat: Legolas... My Legolas...
Legolas: It's too late... it's...
Kat: No!
Legolas: Kat, promise... promise me you'll train the boy...
Kat: Yes, Master.
Legolas: He is the Chosen One... he will bring balance... train him...
*Legolas falls back and lies still*
Kat: *whispers* No... Legolas... *cries*
Kit: *pokes Legolas* Chill, he's just asleep.
Kat: What?
Legolas: *snores*
Kat: Why, that little... *slaps Legolas round the face*
Legolas: *wakes up* OW! What was that for?!
Kat: For putting me through such trauma. I thought you were dead!
Legolas: Cool!
Kat: *glares*
Legolas: I... I mean, not cool. Very not cool. I'm sorry, Kat.. *hugs Kat*
Kat: YAY!
Legolas: So am I forgiven?
Kat: Yup!
Legolas: Great. So, can I go now?
Kat: *laughs hysterically* Nope, Legolas, you're stuck with me for a long time.
Legolas: *groans*
Kat: What was that?
Legolas: I said, uh, "yippee"?
Kat: That's better.
Boba: Can I pleeeeease leave?
Kit: Sure.
Boba: :-D YAY!
Kit: Right after we ask you a few either/or questions, since we don't have much time left.
Boba: Ask away!
Kit: Alright. We will give you two options, and I want you to pick the one you like the most. Okay?
Boba: Yeah, sure, go ahead.
Kit: Gruel or porridge?
Boba: Porridge.
Kat: Butterflies or ponies?
Boba: Butterflies.
Anakin: Blaster or lightsaber?
Boba: Blaster.
Kit: Cocoa or coffee?
Boba: Neither. I told you, I try not to drink stuff.
Kit: Oh yeah. Pink or purple?
Boba: Pink. Pink's priiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiddy.
Anakin: Boxers or briefs?
Boba: Um... that's a very personal question... I'd prefer not to answer it.
Anakin: No problem.
Legolas: Half ponytail or pig-tails?
Boba: Pig-tails.
Legolas: Okey-dokey! *takes out mirror and fiddles with his hair*
Kat: Okay, Kit, I think it's about time we let Bobbers go. We're almost out of time.
Kit: Awwww...
Boba: Yes!
Legolas: Please.
Anakin: *eyes shut tight* There's no place like home. There's no place like home. There's no place like home.
Kit: *pouts* Oh, okay. *stands motionless*
Legolas: I thought you were gonna let us leave!
Kit: Look around you, genius.
*they are back in the studio*
Anakin: FREEDOM!!!! *runs off set, yelling about a permanent vacation*
Boba: C'I go too?
Kat: Sure.
Boba: YES! *turns on his rocket pack and flies away*
Legolas: What about me?
Kat: I've got something... special in mind for you...
Legolas: *gulps*
*cuts to a shot of Legolas trying to teach Kat archery*
Legolas: OW!
Kat: SORRY!
Kit: OW!
Kat: SORRY!
Kit: *rubbing her arm* We should probably end the show before you hurt yourself.
Kat: OW!
Legolas: Too late.
Kit: I meant, we should leave before those medics come back.
Kat: Good idea. OW!
Kit: Well, here ends another episode of RITS.
Kat: Really Insane Talk Sh-- OW!
Kit: I'm Kit
Kat: And I'm K--
Legolas: AAAAA! *ducks*
Kit: Thanks for watching!
Kat: Bye!
*Show ends with a shot of Legolas crouched on the floor, Kit nursing her wounds, and Kat aiming another arrow. shot fades out*
Legolas: OW!
A/N - Kit: :-D 'nother chappie finished! If you have any questions for Padmé and her handmaidens and Dormé and Cordé, send 'em to KitandKat@proud2beafreak.zzn.com.
Kat: *jumps out and hands lemonade to each and every reviewer* Thank you for your kind words! Here, one for you and you and you...