Someone was poking Harry softly in his shoulder. There was a voice, so close to his ear. It whispered: "Wake up, Harry." Harry didn't want to wake up. It was too early to get up. He rolled over, frowning, and mumbled, "Go away."
There was a quiet laughter and Harry frowned again, thinking he could recognise that voice. Who was it? "Lavender?" he whispered unsurely, not wanting to open his eyes. Another sound of laughter, a bit louder this time. Harry opened his eyes slowly. No one was there. He sat up slowly and balanced himself onto his elbows. Everyone else was up; all the other beds were empty. He looked over to the window. He could see through the curtains that it was getting light. He was going to be late for lessons if he didn't get up soon. Harry sighed and lay back down again. He was going crazy; no one was in his room. And yet that voice…it had sounded so real, so familiar…
"No Harry, you're not going crazy." Harry sat up again on his elbows and turned his head to the left of him. His mouth opened slowly in shock. What the… Hermione smiled at him kindly. "And no, you're not dreaming either. Trust me, this is real."
Harry frowned. "Hermione?" he whispered. She smiled softly, and everything Harry had once loved about his girlfriend came flooding back to him. Hermione's curly brown hair, her kind smile, her glistening eyes… the only change Harry noticed was how pale her cheeks were. He touched them with his hand and flinched back. They were ice cold. "But…you're…" he faltered, trying to find a different word for it. He couldn't really think of anything soothing enough. "You're dead," he said feebly.
Hermione laughed wryly. "Really? I didn't know that."
Harry couldn't get over how beautiful she looked when she smiled, and he couldn't believe he had forgotten that either. "Wh…what's going on? This can't be real…it's a dream…" He paused. "Are you a ghost?"
"No, not quite." Hermione frowned, wondering how she was going to explain. "Ghosts are dead people come back, to stay in the real world forever as a spirit. I'm not staying."
"Why not?" Harry sat up properly and swung his legs around to the edge of the bed. He reached for his glasses and put them on, Hermione coming all the more clear. "Why aren't you staying? And if you're not a ghost…this can't be happening…"
Hermione stood and sat next to Harry on the bed, reaching for his hand and clasping it into her own. She frowned, looking away from him. "I'm not really sure what I am." She looked up at him and smiled again. "I'm just Hermione."
Harry leaned forward and hugged her hard. "I missed you," he whispered softly into her neck.
"I missed you too."
Harry pulled away and held her hands. "So, if you're not staying, then there must be a reason why you're here."
Hermione nodded slowly. "Yes…there is." She paused. "Harry, I know about…things." Harry frowned.
"What things?" Harry began to get worried. "Hermione, you know I only ever think about you…"
"Harry, stop," Hermione said firmly. "That's exactly why I'm here." She hesitated, thinking over what to say. "Harry, I'm dead. I know I may look real enough, but the fact is, I am dead. And I'm not going to come back again." Harry looked away, knowing it was true but not wanting to believe it. He didn't want to have to say goodbye again. "I know about your plans with Dumbledore and the rest of them to go after Voldemort."
Harry looked back at her worriedly. He opened his mouth to speak, but shut it again. What to say? He knew Hermione had always warned him against going after Voldemort. Hermione smiled, as if she could read Harry's thoughts. "Harry, I'm not going to tell you not to do this. I want revenge on the bastard as much as you do. He's what drove us apart."
"Hermione…" Harry began to say what he had wanted to say to her since she had gone, but didn't think he'd ever be able to say to her. "I should've died. Not you. Voldemort's curse was meant for me…not you…"
"Harry, don't do this," Hermione said, bringing her face closer to his. She leaned her forehead on Harry's. "If Voldemort had sent a death curse my way, you would've jumped in front of me, wouldn't you." Harry nodded slowly. "I loved you too much…I love you too much, to have let you die. And anyway, you needed to live, to kill him. To stop all the hurt he's brought on everyone. On you. On us."
Harry closed his eyes and moved his mouth in to Hermione's. Before his lips had reached hers, she pushed forward and kissed him. "Hermione," Harry said, pulling away breathlessly. "Don't leave me again. Please, don't go…"
"I have to," she whispered. "I have to…"
"What's death like?" Harry asked, hugging her tightly, eyes closed.
"It's…peaceful," she answered simply. "Harry, you have to kill Voldemort. You have to do whatever you can to destroy him. It's the only way." Another pause. "But that's not going to be easy when you think you fancy his daughter." Harry's eyes widened in horror. He was glad that Hermione couldn't see his face, and instead of replying, he just hugged her more tightly.
"Harry, don't worry. I know you're going to fall in love with more people, for the rest of your life, there's going to be other people. And I don't mind, because I know in your heart you won't forget the good times we shared together. But Harry, I want you to think about this before you answer me, ok?" Hermione pulled away gently and looked deeply into Harry's eyes. Harry frowned and nodded. Hermione smiled. "Harry, you think that Cassandra's going to be easy to get over, don't you? Because she's Voldemort's daughter. If you had known from the beginning that Cassandra was Voldemort's daughter, that she was lying to you, do you think you would have fallen in love with her?"
Harry was thinking. He hesitated before saying: "No… No, I don't think I would have
"Harry, let me tell you something. You would have."
Harry frowned. "How do you know?"
Hermione laughed. "Because I know you! And surprisingly, I know Cassandra. I've been watching her, and you. I've seen her torment at being the daughter of a dark lord, seen her regret at meeting you, and agreeing with her father that she would lure you in for the kill. And I've seen you, ignoring all that."
Harry sighed. "It's hard. She's my friend, but…"
"But your plan is to kill her daddy. Does put a strain on the relationship, doesn't it?" Harry looked up into Hermione's eyes.
"What am I going to do?" he asked. "Help me, Hermione."
"I can't. I'm sorry. This is for you only. It's you who has to decide. Do you stay with the one you love, or do you kill her father? In other words, it's your pain, or the pain of the world."
Harry paused then started to laugh. "What's so funny?" Hermione asked, smiling.
"Oh, just something Ron said. He said I always had to be like a superhero…"
"Well you don't have to be you know."
Harry smiled. "That's what he said." Hermione grinned, remembering her old friend and imagining him lecturing Harry on being careful and looking after himself. "He said that I should do what I wanted for once. That I didn't always have to save the world."
Hermione shrugged grinning. "And he's right. But it's your decision, Harry." She gave him a quick kiss on the lips. "How is Ron by the way?"
"Oh he's fine, yeah. Really misses you though. He doesn't always show it, but you can tell."
Hermione smiled and looked down. Harry's smile faded. "You're going now aren't you."
"I have to."
"At least this time I get to say goodbye. And Hermione?"
"Yes?"
"Thank you. Thank you for saving my life."
Hermione laughed. "Any time!" she joked.
"Hermione, you're the best friend I ever had," Harry said quietly. "I love you. More than anyone else. More than anything else. I love you…"
"I love you too," Hermione whispered, tears running down her face.
Harry leaned in and kissed her again, softly, holding her hands. When he drew back and opened his eyes, she had gone. He looked down at his hands. They were holding air. He clenched them then opened them again, and looked back at where Hermione had been. Now that she was gone, Harry let the tears that had been waiting patiently in his eyes silently drop down. "Hermione," he whispered, lying down in the space where she had been sitting.
Harry sat down at the table not looking at anyone. He picked up his goblet and drank from it slowly. Then he put it back down on the table and got a bowl of cornflakes. He poured some milk over it and began spooning it into his mouth slowly. His friends had been watching throughout these slow movements and it was Ron who finally said, "Hello."
Harry looked up briefly. Ron tried not to say anything when he saw Harry's face. His friend's eyes were slightly redder than usual and he had bags under his eyes. He looked at his hand that held the spoon and it was shaking. "Hi," said Harry, before looking down at his cornflakes. He seemed intent on finishing his cornflakes and was doing so with a slow but determined lift of the hand. Ron glanced briefly around and saw that everyone else had noticed what a terrible state Harry was or seemed to be in.
Ron knew better than to ask Harry about it so instead he tried to get a conversation going with their friends. Everyone got the hint and began talking to each other again. "So the Quidditch game this Saturday," said Ron feebly.
"Yeah, it's gonna be good, right Harry?" asked Seamus. Harry continued to gaze at his food and Seamus raised an eyebrow. Harry didn't answer. He was so tired and felt so depressed, he didn't think he had the energy to even smile. There were several loud hoots and hundreds of owls swooped into the hall with the morning post. The Daily Prophet was dropped into Harry's bowl and he had to blink several times to realise what it was. Slowly, he picked it up and shook it out. He scanned the first page and his heart fell. "You-Know-Who Who-Knows-Where" read the headline. Harry leaned forward and rested his elbows onto the table. With both hands holding the paper still slightly shaky, he began to read:
Every Witch and Wizard remembers what it was like when Voldemort was trying to take over. It appears he is trying to do the same. After the not-so-secret encounter he had with Harry Potter last year, the not-so-secret news of his new rise to power has leaked out. When confronted, Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Albus Dumbledore, admits, "It is true. Voldemort has been getting stronger and stronger over the past two years and is now stronger than ever before."
Harry frowned in anger. Why would Dumbledore say something like that? And in the Daily Prophet as well – all that had done was cause more panic probably.
We ask that everyone be extra cautious with locking their windows and doors with powerful locking charms, see page 12 for details, and to keep family with them at all times.
Harry threw the paper down on the table angrily, making a few people jump. That's so stupid, he thought, and they know it. Voldemort can get past any pitiful locking charm, that's not going to stop him from killing anyone. The only thing that's going to stop him killing anyone… Harry faltered. The only thing that can stop him…
The only one who can stop him … is me.
"Harry, are you ok?" Harry looked up into Ron's worried gaze and then looked around to see everyone else staring at him intensely. Harry wiped his hand across his eyes, to stop any oncoming tears. "I gotta go," he said, standing up quickly and rushing from the hall.
Ron stood up and called after him. With one look at Seamus, Dean and Neville, the four rushed out of the hall after their emotionally dangerous friend. Keeping an ear out for his footsteps, they followed Harry to the Boys Bathroom. They walked inside and slowly peered round into an open cubicle just in time to see Harry throw up.
Shakily, Harry stood up. Having realised that he'd now been kneeling at the toilet for at least a good five minutes, he knew he was late for lessons. Turning around he saw Ron staring at him, while the other three seventh year Gryffindor boys exchanged looks. With a pale face and a not-so-even smile, Harry said in a small voice, "Come on, let's go." Ron placed a gentle but firm hand on Harry's shoulder.
"Where are you going?" asked Ron.
"Defence Against The Dark Arts," Harry said. "We have lessons, remember?"
Seamus came round. "Harry, do you really think we're going to let you go anywhere in this state?"
"What state?" asked Harry frowning.
Dean sighed. "Harry, you look terrible, you look like you've just been crying and you just threw up."
Harry frowned. "I'm fine, ok? I just don't think my breakfast quite agreed with me." He smiled lightly, trying to make a joke, but no one else thought it was funny.
"Harry, maybe you should go to the hospital wing for a bit…" started Ron.
"And have Madam Pomfrey do what?" Harry exploded angrily. "There's nothing wrong me with that Pomfrey can fix, ok! Just leave me alone." Harry barged past the others and walked firmly out of the bathroom.
In Defence Against the Dark Arts Harry had chosen a seat in a back corner of the classroom. When Ron and the others walked in, they moved to go sit next to him, but saw the death-threat in his still teary eyes that refused to look at them, and instead sent Ron to go see if he was ok while the rest sat near the front. Ron sat down next to Harry silently. He didn't need to ask.
Lupin walked into the classroom with a cheery look on his face. Everyone was still talking, and Lupin looked to the back of the class catching Ron's stare. Ron nodded almost unnoticeably towards Harry and Lupin's wide smile vanished completely as he looked at Harry. Lupin coughed and looked down at his desk. After a few moments he looked back up again and smiled a little less broadly at the class. Everyone shut up and waited in silence for Lupin to speak. "Well then," he said. A pause. "Um, today, today I thought we could…um…ok, to tell you the truth guys, I haven't exactly planned anything for today's lesson," he said, throwing his pile of papers he'd been carrying onto the floor. Everyone laughed. "It's been such a hectic week for me I thought today we could just do whatever you want to do. So, any suggestions?"
No one put their hands into the air at first. Everyone looked at each other as if expecting someone else to come up with a bright idea. At last someone slowly put their hand up. It was Seamus. Lupin nodded towards the hand. "Yes, Mr Finnigan?"
"Professor, I was…I was wondering if you could…tell us a little about…about…You-Know-Who." The class went completely silent and Ron noticed how tensed Harry's shoulders had become. Lupin's smile vanished and he went a little pale. "Well," he said, but it came out in a croak so he cleared his throat and tried again. "Well, I would love to Mr Finnigan, but I think that's more Professor Binns territory…" Professor Binns was the History of Magic professor and was definitely the most boring man alive (well, dead – he was a ghost).
"I know Professor," said Seamus, becoming more confident. "But there's been all this stuff in the news about him coming stronger and I'm sure we'd all feel much better if we knew more about it."
Lupin said nothing. He looked out of the window and sat there in complete silence for what must have been at least three minutes before he said, "Ok then. If you want a lesson on the most murderous and disgusting man ever to live, then that's what you'll get!" He smiled lightly and stood up, walking around to the front of his desk. He sat down onto it and clapped his hands together. "I wouldn't really call myself a History Professor but I do know the facts. Ok, so is there anything in particular you want to know about him?"
Harry sat there in silence, staring at the wall, while people asked general questions about the usually-forbidden topic. No one knew much, if anything, about Voldemort, as no one liked to talk about him. Harry urged the temptation to throw lightning bolts around with his hands. He clenched his fists together and tried hard to release his anger. He needed to save it up for when he met with Voldemort. If that ever happened. Harry looked over to see where Cassandra was. She was sitting at the back furthest away from Harry. She had a smile on her face, and didn't seem to have any problems with the lines of questioning at all; this really pissed Harry off.
Lupin smiled. "Any more questions?" Harry's hand shot up in the air and Lupin's face paled more. "Yes, Mr Potter?" he asked. Everyone in the class swivelled round to see what Harry's question would be. Ron gave Lupin a worried look but Lupin simply shook his head and looked at Harry.
"Did Voldemort ever have any children?" asked Harry pointedly, not bothering to call him You-Know-Who which he usually did in front of people. Everyone flinched when he said the name.
Lupin sighed and didn't take his eyes off of Harry. After a few moments he said, "No. No he didn't."
"Didn't think so," Harry said. "Any children he had would be horrid, monsterous people, wouldn't they? It would be too obvious to tell who they are. People who don't have a soul do tend to stand out like that, don't they."
Lupin gave Harry and angry glare, but Harry didn't care. "Yes, Harry. I suppose they would. But no, he didn't have any children." Lupin looked around the class. "Anyone else like to ask something?" Harry returned to staring at his wall.
"Harry that was stupid," Lupin said in a fierce whisper. The lesson had ended and Remus had kept Harry behind. "I know you're feeling angry, we all are, but don't you think that by doing that she'll guess what you're doing? She's Voldemort's daughter, she's not stupid!"
Harry frowned. "I don't care," he said.
"Yeah, well you can not care all you like, but in case you've forgotten, we still need to kill the bastard, and it's not going to be very easy to do if he finds out that we know about his little daughter."
Harry placed his hands on the desk behind him and leaned back onto it. "Fine," he said after a while. "I'm sorry, it was stupid. I just couldn't stand the way Cassandra could just sit there as if nothing affected her. As if she had no soul… Which she probably doesn't," Harry added. Then his mind quickly flashed back to Hermione's words in the dream he had had last night. "I know Cassandra. I've been watching her, and you. I've seen her torment at being the daughter of a dark lord, seen her regret at meeting you, and agreeing with her father that she would lure you in for the kill." Harry had been wondering all day whether the dream had been real or not, whether it meant anything. Maybe Cassandra did have a soul. Maybe she really did like Harry… No. Harry blocked out that thought. No. She was Voldemort's daughter. She couldn't possibly have any soul or any feelings at all to have come from someone so monsterous. Then Harry had a thought.
"Remus…" he started slowly, "Do we know who Cassandra's mother is?"
Lupin looked surprised at the question. "No," he said eventually, after much thought. "You know, it's never crossed my mind. I expect one of Voldemort's followers." Harry nodded. The thought wouldn't leave his mind that quickly, though. He wondered whether Cassandra's mother was evil or not. "Come on," said Lupin. "You're already late for your next lesson, and I have a free period to catch up on some sleep in." Lupin and Harry walked out of the classroom and from inside an other-wise empty cupboard, out stepped a pale-faced Draco Malfoy.
"Hello," said Harry as he sat down next to Seamus.
Seamus raised an eyebrow. "You sure are happy today," he commented.
Harry shrugged. "If you say so," he said, smiling widely. "So, anyone got the paper today?"
Ron widened his eyes and slowly passed it over the table. "Thanks," said Harry, taking the paper and opening it up. He read the first few headlines then put it down on the table and took some toast, fully aware that all of his friends were staring at him, and enjoying it immensely.
"Harry? Are you sure you're feeling ok?" asked Dean.
"Yeah…you haven't been this happy since…um…since…" Neville looked to Ron for help, but Ron just laughed and shrugged.
"Hey, if he's happy, don't bother him with questions, just celebrate!" he said laughing.
Harry grinned. Last night, he had had a sort of revelation, in which he realised that Cassandra had no soul and was of no importance to him, and that if he ever wanted to avenge his true love's death, he had to get over this little crush, stop being such a seventeen year old, and go save the world. He sighed heavily, laughing to himself, but thinking, always thinking, back to Hermione. He smiled again and looked over at the Slytherin table anxiously. He turned back round and finished his toast. After a while, when many Slytherins had left the hall to go to their lessons, Harry stood up and bravely walked over.
"Cassandra?" Cassandra looked round and smiled up at him. Harry sat down next to her and whispered something in her ear.
When he pulled back she looked even happier than she had when she first saw him. "Definitely," she answered. Harry grinned and stood up. He walked back to his table and pretended he didn't know that all of his friends were gaping at him. "Come on," he said, swigging down some orange juice before setting the goblet back down on the table. "We're going to be late for Herbology." Harry walked away, smiling secretly. His friends stood up slowly and followed Harry, leaving all their bursting questions for later.
I cannot believe that Potter didn't tell me. I can't believe he doesn't trust me enough to…
Wait, what am I saying? Of course he doesn't trust me, and I don't trust him either, at all. But still, I didn't think he'd really let me go down with this big plan, whatever it is.
…I cannot believe that Potter didn't tell me. The traitor. He just wanted me to get sucked into it all, and come out dead. Dead, or one of them. Potter just wanted to be proved right; that I really was going to become a Death Eater.
Just goes to show how little he knows about me, doesn't it?
I still can't believe it. I can't believe it. Cassandra - Voldemort's daughter? Cassandra Riddle…. Salazar, I can't believe I never guessed, never realised. I guess that explains why Snape keeps being really nice to her. Actually, no – it doesn't explain why Snape was being nice to her; I thought he'd given up the Death Eater role of life? That's what father told me anyway. He told me that if Snape doesn't return to them soon, they're going to kill him. I hate all this! I hate being Lucius Malfoy's son! I hate having to keep all these secrets of death and treachery! And I don't understand… Why didn't father tell me? Am I all just part of some big plan? Am I just a tool? Or did father want the same as Potter? To either have me dead, or for me to join him and Voldemort…
Well, I don't care what that bastard thinks. I will never join Voldemort. What my father doesn't seem to understand is that Voldemort doesn't need him anymore. He doesn't need him now he's got his strength back. He's just using him. Because he has ties with Potter. Because I'm his son, and I know Potter…
…Oh Salazar… I've just realised something…
Shit. This is exactly what I didn't want to happen. I've got to help Potter.
What other choice do I have? If I don't go along with whatever he's up to, assuming whatever he's up to doesn't include the death of me, then I'll just be playing along with my father's game, a pawn in Voldemort's scheme. And everyone will think I will become a Death Eater.
Well I am not going to be a pawn, and I'm certainly not going to be a Death Eater. Not after what happened to mum. I want Voldemort dead, just as much as the next guy. I'll have to talk to Potter. But what am I going to say to him? Potter, I know we've been rivals since we first met, and I know I have tried to kill you on several occasions, and you've tried to kill me, but I just thought you'd like to know that I'm not as evil as you've always thought and that I have no intention of joining Voldemort, and I would like to help you in whatever you're going to do to destroy him. Why don't you think about it and get back to me?
No. It's stupid. Potter would never believe me. I'm going to have to do something to prove that I'm not lying.
…
I've got it. I'll tell him about Narcissa. Ok, so maybe he doesn't realise that yes, I did love my mother (he probably thinks I'm heartless, which I guess now that my mother is gone and that Cassandra dumped me is partly true) but Potter's supposed to be a great guy, right? And if he's as great as everyone says he is, then he has to believe me, doesn't he?
Salazar Slytherin – listen to me. The whole line of Malfoys would be very disappointed with me right now. And it feels good! It feels good to at last be throwing away whatever the name Malfoy means, and to do what I know the other side of me knows it right; the side my mother made: Draco.
a/n: Hello. Hope you didn't think the chapter was too crap. I thought it was ok, but not as good as some of my other chapters. I think I'm going to use the fact that at the moment I'm writing four stories at the same time as an excuse! Please read them! There's this story, of course, there's "Secret Love" (lily/james, 20 chapters so far, romance), "Acerbitas" (draco, 2 chapters so far, angsty), and there's a non-Harry Potter story called "Terra" (2 chapters so far, big plans for a long story, fantasy). Thanks for all your reviews and any suggestions or critiscms are welcomed!! Just review! I'll try to put the next chapter up as soon as I can. ~rowanx