a/n: hope you like the chapter! Is anyone besides elfinchild, dream-catcher and molly still reading this? Ah well. Thanks, you three! Your reviews mean so much to me, when I get home from school and check fanfiction and there's a little review waiting for me :D cheers! If other people ARE still reading and reviewing this, then thank you too! This is longer than most of my chapters, so enjoy! ~rowanx
"Well? Were you successful?"
"Yes, master. Very successful," grinned Pettigrew nervously.
"Well?" Lord Voldemort leaned forward in his chair. "Did you get discovered?"
A man standing to the left of Lord Voldemort grinned cruelly, unnoticed by the servant.
"No, master. No one saw me. No one." Peter smiled broadly, glad to be able to please his masters.
Lord Voldemort's strange smile vanished. "What?" he said quietly and dangerously.
"I-I didn't get caught…" Peter said hesitantly. Why wasn't his master pleased? He had been gone a week now, he had lots of information, he hadn't been seen once, and his master looked very unhappy. What was going on?
Lord Voldemort dismissed Peter with a hand angrily. "But-but sir," Peter said bravely. "don't you want to know what I found out?"
"Later!" Lord Voldemort roared. "Now get out!" Peter scurried from the room, shutting the door of the vast library behind him. Lord Voldemort stood and turned to his companion.
"Strange," the man said. "I was sure he would be seen."
"So was I. And if not killed by whoever caught him, then surely I would have an excuse to be rid of him." Lord Voldemort paced around the room angrily.
"But, surely…" started his companion. "If the servant didn't get caught, then perhaps he is of some use to you after all." Lord Voldemort growled in his unhuman-like way.
Draco hurried around the corner, pale-faced, and bumped straight into someone, pushing them to the ground. "Hey!" shouted Seamus from down on the ground. He jumped up and saw Malfoy. "Look where you're going, will ya?"
Draco grabbed Seamus by the collar and held him up against a wall, despite angry cries of protest from his friends. "Get off me!" yelled Seamus, squirming against Draco's unusually strong grip.
"Where's Potter?" asked Draco quietly, sounding deadly.
"Well you should know!" said Seamus, frowning.
"Where is he?!" shouted Malfoy desperately.
Seamus frowned. "He's probably getting changed for the Quidditch game." Malfoy's eyes widened. He let go of him and ran off. Seamus turned to Dean and the others. "What the hell was that about?" Everyone shrugged in confusion, and continued on to the game.
Harry pulled on his Griffindor Quidditch robes and flattened down a crease over his shoulder. Elegantly, he turned round to face his team, and picked up his broomstick, smiling at it for a moment. He was very passionate about his broomstick. Turning back to his team, he gave his pre-Quidditch match words of support and advice. "This is the first game of the season. And, again, it's against Slytherin." His team grinned. They all knew that although they pretended they hated to play against Slytherin, they loved it really; it was a great chance to kick their rivals' asses. "Now, we know we're better than them," Harry continued. "The only times we've lost against them is when we've made a few mistakes or have had a lack of concentration." Everyone laughed again. Harry grinned, blushing. "Ok, so I know I'm usually the only one who loses concentration," he admitted, laughing. "But mistakes, you can deal with. Just the tiniest thing could lose us the match, so I want you to be aware of what's going on at all times; not just with what you're doing, but with what every single player out there is doing. Ok?"
The Quidditch team nodded, did their usual "Go, Go, Griffindor!" chant, then walked out to the wings of the pitch. Ron walked alongside Harry. "So, are we catching the snitch today, Potter?" he said, imitating Malfoy.
Harry laughed. "Oh yes. Malfoy is going down!" Ron grinned and mounted his broom, as their team were announced. They flew out onto the pitch, and the usual roars and screams entered their ears at an unusual pitch. Harry grinned at Ron then separated away from him, quickly warming up for the game.
Next, the Slytherin team were announced, and Harry saw seven green figures fly out from the opposite side of the pitch. Harry flew over to his usual spot in the sky and looked down to see what Madam Hooch was doing. Then Harry remembered, and flew back down to the grass and landed. He shook hands with the Slytherin team captain, Freddie Flint, then flew back up again, ready for the whistle to blow. Malfoy flew up to Harry looking angry.
"Why hello mal-" Harry started, before Malfoy deliberately crashed into him, and he spinned off, falling from his broom. Tactfully, Harry caught his broom with one hand and held on tightly. Malfoy flew slowly over to him. "Malfoy what the hell are you doing?" Harry asked, clutching onto his broom. He put his other hand up and caught his broom, pushing himself up onto it. Malfoy pushed him off again with one hand, and Harry fell, again holding onto his broomstick with just one hand.
"Why didn't you tell me?" asked Malfoy dangerously.
"Tell you? Tell you what…?" yelled Harry.
Ron came flying up. "What the hell is going on?" he asked, looking from Harry to Malfoy. He flew over to Harry and helped him back up onto his broomstick. Harry swung his leg over, and cradled his stretched arm painfully. He looked at Malfoy in suspicion. "Are you sure you're alright?" Ron asked. Harry nodded. Down below, Madam Hooch shouted, asking if everything was alright. The boys nodded, except for Malfoy, who wasn't taking his eyes off Harry for a second. Ron flew back to the ground, giving a last warning glare in Malfoy's direction.
Malfoy frowned at Harry and flew a little closer to him. Harry didn't back away, not wanting to give Malfoy that satisfaction. "Why didn't you tell me?" Malfoy whispered.
Harry frowned. "Malfoy I don't know what on earth you're on about!" he protested. Suddenly the whistle blew and the game began. It was a quick goal for Griffindor; Harry noticed they didn't make a single mistake. It was their concentration; it was good. The quaffle had been taken quickly by Ron, who flew over to the goal, pretended to shoot, but instead threw it to Lesley who scored quickly.
"And that's ten points to Griffindor!" came the overhead announcement. Seamus was the commentator. "And I've been told that we can confirm that the Slytherin goalkeeper is actually asleep at this moment in time." Hoards of laughter floated up from the crowd, and all the Slytherin goalkeeper could do was growl stupidly and look angry. Professor Mcgonagall who was sitting behind Seamus laughed without stopping herself, then put her hand to her mouth blushing. "S-Seamus!" she scolded quickly, remembering she was supposed to be telling him off every now and then for favouritism. Seamus just grinned and looked back at the game, quickly taking up his commentating once more.
"You just didn't want me to know did you," said Malfoy.
"Didn't want you to know what?" Harry shouted. A bludger flew past his ear and Malfoy ducked as it flew over his head.
"You know perfectly well what!"
"No I don't!" Harry yelled for the hundredth time. Suddenly, a glint of gold caught the corner of his eye, and he went diving after it. He heard Malfoy whizzing up behind him. Suddenly he knocked into him, Harry and his broom went flying sideways, and the snitch was lost. Harry looked around for it frantically, and then flew back to Malfoy. "What the hell was that for?"
"We're not ending this game until you explain something to me," Malfoy said.
Harry sighed. It was going to be a long game. Especially since he didn't have a clue what he was supposed to be explaining. He looked over at the scoreboard. Wow; the score was Griffindor 60-20 Slytherin. Ron looked over at him at that point, exasperatedly, and Harry knew what the look meant. It meant hurry up and catch the snitch. I'm trying, Harry mouthed to him, then Ron flew on, tailing the quaffle.
"Look, I'm getting bored here Malfoy, so why don't you just tell me what you want me to explain to you." Malfoy was quiet, and was still eyeing Harry dangerously. Harry sighed. "Fine, if you won't tell me, then I'm going after the snitch." Suddenly Harry looked down and dived, flying fast towards the ground. Sure enough, Malfoy followed close afterwards. Harry knew that Malfoy probably wasn't following him to get the snitch himself, but more likely he was following to stop Harry getting the snitch. Harry hadn't tried this for a while, he just hoped it would work.
"And it looks like Potter's finally seen the snitch!" Seamus shouted, getting the crowd excited. "But Malfoy's following close behind – I wonder if Potter will get it before Malfoy snatches it off him…"
"Seamus! I told you; no favouritism!"
"That's not favouritism, professor. Potter saw the snitch first, that's all I was saying!"
"Oh…well…ok then. Carry on."
Harry was really close to the ground now. He was about to hit it when he pulled his broom high up into the air and went whooshing skywards. Behind him, painfully, he heard his component smash into the crowd, and all around him, cries of protests and cries of excitement filled the stadium so loud that Harry thought his ears were going to burst.
"I don't believe it!" Seamus yelled, jumping out of his seat. "Potter pulled of the Wronski Feint, and it worked! And the Slytherin Seeker is out!! Boy is Malfoy going to feel that tomorrow!" Harry turned round on his broomstick to face Malfoy on the ground. Most activity was still going on around him, apart from the Slytherin team captain, who had gone down to attend to his injured seeker.
Harry sighed and flew back down to the ground. He landed and walked over to Malfoy, who was lying on the floor in pain. Malfoy looked up at him fiercely. "That'll teach you to stop me from playing Quidditch," Harry said simply, before re-mounting his broom and flying back into the air. The Slytherin team captain tried to call a re-match to Madam Hooch, complaining of unfairness, but Wronski Feints were definitely in the rules, and besides, before he had finished complaining, Harry had caught the snitch, and the game was over.
"Finally!" cried Ron as he flew over to Harry who was holding the golden snitch in his hand.
"Yeah, sorry it took so long." Harry nodded his head over to the ground where Malfoy was being taken away by Madam Hooch and Madam Pomfrey.
"What did he want?" Ron asked, looking over at their enemy.
"No idea."
They flew to the ground, as hoards of people ran on and flew around the pitch like headless chickens. Sirius and Remus came rushing from the stands and down to the ground. Sirius was actually crying, and hugged Harry so tightly that neither could breathe too well. "Ah, Harry, you're just as good as your dad was. No, you're better than James!" He drew away and Remus laughed.
"He gets a bit emotional when it comes to Quidditch," Remus explained, grinning.
Harry laughed. "Yeah, I noticed!"
"But seriously, that was still a great game. That Wronskei Feint was amazing, Harry! Where did you learn that?" Remus asked, marvelling at the brilliance of his former friend's son. Harry just shrugged, still grinning.
Sirius started burbling again. "Brilliant – it was brilliant…better than Vicktor Krum, I tell you… Hey, Harry – you ever thought of playing for England?" Harry just laughed and walked away, wanting to end the conversation about his future before it happened.
Once again, Harry and Ron and the others were walking to Potions. Snape was continually talking about their NEWTS that were coming up. The last ever exams they would ever take at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
Just as Harry was about to enter the classroom, someone pulled him back. Harry turned round angrily to see who had stopped him. It was Lavender. His face softened a bit. He hadn't talked to her for a week now. Since the ball. "Hey, Lavender," he said hesitantly. "How are you?"
"I'm fine thank you," said the obviously not-so-fine Lavender. She seemed angry about something.
"What's wrong?"
Lavender frowned. "Harry, I know this has absolutely nothing to do with me. I'm just "a friend"; just like Seamus, Dean, Neville, Parvati… just like everyone else. I know I'm nothing particularly special to you," Harry flinched at the coldness in her voice, "so I don't know why I'm even saying this to you right now, but…" She paused and sighed. "Tell me – what is going on?"
Harry blinked. "A-bout-what?"
Lavender sighed again. "Harry don't lie to me. I know something's going on. I know about your…that…that thing you can do, with your mind. Please, just tell me. I'm worried about you. I want to help."
Harry frowned. Could he tell Lavender? More overly, should he tell Lavender? He wasn't sure. He did care for her, of course he did. He didn't want her worrying or anything. "Look, Lavender, can I talk to you later? We're already late enough for potions as it is."
Lavender breathed out crossly. "Fine. If you think potions is more important than whatever it is you're keeping from me, then fine." She barged on past him into the dungeon. Harry followed her at a distance.
"You're late, Potter."
"Sorry, professor."
"Five points from Griffindor."
"Yes, professor."
"See me at the end."
"Ok, professor."
"Now stop dawdling and go take your seat before I change my mind and make it ten points."
"Yes, professor, thank you professor." Harry walked over to his seat next to Ron without even a little change in his attitude. He went through this practically every single time he had potions now. But he wasn't usually asked to stay behind. Oh well. Just another chance for Snape to shout at him about time-wasting.
Harry looked around for Cassandra. She was sitting near the front, far away from Malfoy. She caught Harry's eye and blew a kiss over. Harry struggled, but managed to grin back at her before turning to his Griffindors. "So, big date this weekend?" Seamus teased as they got their books out.
"Yep," Harry said with no emotion at all.
"…You excited?"
"I guess."
"…Well…um…good." Seamus was confused. "Um…Harry? Can I ask you something?"
"Sure."
"Why?"
Harry looked up properly this time. "Why what?"
Seamus breathed out and prepared himself. "Why are you going out with her?" Harry looked puzzled. "Why, when you said she was a horrible bitch just the other day, and you refused to go out with her when she asked you at the ball?"
"Oh, I – I just changed my mind, that's all."
Seamus leaned back in his chair, once again unsatisfied by his friend's reply. Seamus wasn't dumb; he knew that something was going on as well as Lavender. And Dean and Neville and Parvati. Despite what Harry thought of them, they were worried about him. None of them wanted to lose their friend, even if that friend didn't appear to trust them all that much.
The lesson was incredibly boring; even from most of the Slytherins' points of view. All they did was look over some notes for a test next week to "prepare" them for the NEWTs. But regardless of how bored Harry was, he was still surprised when the end of the lesson came, and he was being called up to Snape's desk. "You know, I think out of the entire school, you must be the one who's been kept behind the most," Ron whispered in Harry ear, grinning. Harry shoved him away smiling, then walked over to Snape's desk.
Harry was actually quite glad he'd been called to stay behind, because there was something that had been bugging him; that he had been wanting to talk to Snape about. Harry didn't say anything though. Always let the enemy talk first.
"Harry, I didn't just call you behind because you were late today," Snape started. "Professor Dumbledore is a busy man, so he wanted me to talk to you."
"About what, sir?"
"How are things with Ca-Cassandra?"
Harry frowned in wonder at the stutter, but moved quickly past it. For now. "Fine. It's going great."
"Plan working ok?"
"As far as I know, yes." Snape nodded in satisfaction. "…Professor, can I ask you something?" asked Harry
Snape frowned in suspicion. "Well…what is it?"
"Why are you really nice to Cassandra?"
Snape's eyes widened. "Well..she…she's a Slytherin, isn't she…"
"And why do you stutter whenever you talk about her?"
"About-about cas-cassandra? I…I don't know what you're…"
"And why do you get really nervous whenever we talk about this 'plan' of ours?"
To this, Snape made no reply. He said nothing, and looked away from Harry's glance for what seemed like an eternity. But Harry was patient. He could wait for the long-awaited explanation. Finally, Snape brought his head back up and looked into Harry's eyes. "Potter, you need to believe me – I am no longer a Death Eater…"
"How do I know that?" Harry asked. Snape looked troubled. "What other explanation could there be of being nice to your master's daughter?"
Snape stood up dangerously. "Harry Potter how dare you even make that accusation! Do you think, that if there was even an ounce of doubt that I wasn't true and faithful to the good in this world, that Albus would have even hired me to teach here?"
Harry was quite a bit taller than he used be, when he used to be afraid of Snape, small and fragile under his tall, darkened form. They were roughly the same height now. Harry walked forward a bit, so that only the desk came between the two. "Harry, we need to trust each other here. This is serious. It isn't silly little hero games you and your friends used to play with the Dark Lord. This is real. This time, we're going to kill him. Destroy him. And we cannot do that if you think I'm some sort of a spy!"
Harry frowned. "Fine. But then only way I can trust you, Snape," (Harry thought that using his name would create the effect he needed – it did.), "Is if you tell me exactly why you're not a Death Eater anymore, and why you're so nice to Cassandra and yet so afraid of her?"
Snape stood still, then slowly sat down. Harry sat on the edge of one of the desks in the front row. "Ok," Snape said quietly. "I did used to be a Death Eater, you know that much. And Voldemort still thinks I am. Or at least, that's what he was supposed to think."
"What do you mean?"
"Albus told me I should go and spy on Voldemort, pretend I'm still loyal to him. To get you information on where he is, what his plans are, things like that. But I was too afraid."
"Why?"
Snape wryly laughed a quick harsh laugh. "Why do you think, Potter? I was too afraid that I would want to go back. Not just as a spy." Snape paused. "Too afraid that even just being near Voldemort would corrupt me, make me power-hungry. 'Absolute power corrupts absolutely.' Heard that somewhere. Can't remember where. Doesn't matter. But the point is, I'm not a Death Eater. Not even pretending to be one. Because I do not want to be that kind of man, Potter. I do not want to destroy. You have to believe that." Harry didn't say anything. He was still thinking about all this, still taking it all in and chewing it in his brain, figuring it all out. With a sigh, Snape went on. "The reason why I…get nervous, around Cassandra, why something makes me act nice to her all the time, is that I knew from the beginning that she was Voldemort's daughter. Of course I did. I was a Death Eater a long time, Potter. I thought she was here to try and trick me into going back to Voldemort. And tell him what was happening. It's like the mafia, Potter. If you're not nice to one of them, you get beaten by the rest of them."
"Is that why you didn't tell us sooner?" Harry said, outraged. "Because you were worried about yourself?"
Snape sighed. "Partly. Anyway, Cassandra asked me again and again to think about returning to her dad, and each time, I said, 'Soon, soon, I just have to get ready to leave Hogwarts'. I never once thought of actually returning. That was just to buy me time."
Harry leaned back. "You were afraid," he said quietly. Snape looked up sharply. "Can't blame you for being afraid. At least you did tell us eventually, or I expect we'd all be near-death right now."
Snape nodded slowly. But there was still one thing Harry wanted to know. "Professor, what made you want to become a Death Eater in the first place?"
Snape stood, looking very menacing against the dark walls of the dim-lighted dungeon. "Why else? Revenge." Snape turned and walked out of the dungeon. Harry sat for a while, feeling confused, and angry that Snape wasn't going to tell him anything else, before finally he stood and left, deciding not to push the fragile teacher now on his side. Snape was afraid of power, of being corrupt and evil like he once was – who could blame him? Harry's fear was much worse: he was afraid he wouldn't be able to go through with it all, afraid he'd be too scared to stand up to Voldemort when the time came. He was afraid of fear.