Lord of the rings gone wrong #4
What they saw was Strider squatting behind the tree but that wasn't what terrified them. It was what he was doing behind the tree that made them run. The splerting, squeaking, rumbling noise was explained. The explanation was simple but horrible. The explanation was Strider pooing behind the tree. The noise he that he created was bad, but the smell was worse. Rotting eggs would have smelt better. Strider was shocked, he hadn't intended on his friends seeing him like this. He wiped his forehead. It was very hard work. He knew he shouldn't have eaten that sue-shi for lunch. He looked around for a leaf or something to wipe his butt with. But was interrupted. "What's this, a ranger caught off his guard?" Strider sat still, he felt something sharp pocking into his back. "Ohh my god! I'm truly sorry. I didn't realise..." Strider turned around to face the person talking to him and moved the tree branch that pocked him in the back. It was Arwen, his crush. "Shit! Dam it! Don't look!" He yelled as his cheeks grew bright red. Arwen quickly turned and walked to the other side of the tree, where she saw Boromir huddled in the tent, with his hands over his ears and shaking back and forth. "I can't find anything to wipe with?" She heard Strider call from behind the tree. She looked around for something and spotted a light grey cloak, lying beside the tent entrance. She picked it up and threw it in Striders direction. "I can't reach it." He yelled back as he stretched out his arm to reach for it. But whilst doing this he lost balance and feel on to his side, with his pants around his ankles and his un-wiped bare bum, showing for the whole world to see. Arwen screamed and ran to her horse, then galloped off. Strider lay on the ground for a few minutes, taking in what had just happened. He heard voices coming towards him. It sounded like a female. More than one female. He got up and wiped his bum but before he could pull up his pants the shrubs around him shivered and two figures stepped out.
"Uh, oh, geez!" Liz yelled as she stepped out from the shrub. She and Tad had changed directions and turned back to come get the tent that had gone missing. Tad seeing this site fainted on the spot and Liz ran to the other side of the tree. She saw her tent and in the rush to just get out and away from this awkward situation, she ran and jumped on her tent. "Ooow!" She heard a voice moan as she landed hard on the tent. She ignored it and started to bundle the tent to pack it away. She stopped suddenly when she found a body under the tent. It was Boromir. He lay limp and not moving on the ground.
Meanwhile, Strider had pulled up his pants and ran away, trying to find his friends and tell them that Liz and Tad were back.
Liz slapped Boromir's cheeks but there was no response. She felt for a pulse but there was none. She stood up and quickly finished packing away her tent. Tad had woken to a horrible stink and quickly found Liz on the other side of the tree, standing beside Boromir's body. "Hello Boromir" Tad smiled as she helped Liz but the tent into her pack. Liz had propped Boromir's body up against the tree as if he was sitting. "Uh... he is sleeping." Liz lied as she pulled Tad away. "Hey look!" Tad said as she picked up Legolas's bow. She set an arrow and pulled back on the string. "Hurry!" Liz yelled at her friend, in a rush to get away. Tad, who got a fright from the yell, let go off the string and arrow, letting it flies hard through the air and into Boromir's already dead chest. "Tad! Oh no, look you killed him!" Liz lied as she pulled her friend away and went back to their mission.
"So where are they?" Frodo asked Strider as they walked back into the camping area. Strider looked around and said. "They must have left. Look they took the tent." "Where is Boromir?" Frodo asked. He lent up against the tree. "Look at this, there are blood splatters on the ground." He turned and looked at the tree. "And on the tree!" Legolas picked up his bow. "Still warm" He commented. He then sniffed the string. "Smells like orc" He lied. He didn't want the others to know about his plastic surgery and how he can't smell things because of it. "Orc?" Strider repeated.
Will Tad ever find out about the true death of Boromir? Will the fellowship ever find out about Legolas's plastic nose? Will Arwen ever be able to look strider in the eye again?
Find out next time on lord of the rings gone wrong.
What they saw was Strider squatting behind the tree but that wasn't what terrified them. It was what he was doing behind the tree that made them run. The splerting, squeaking, rumbling noise was explained. The explanation was simple but horrible. The explanation was Strider pooing behind the tree. The noise he that he created was bad, but the smell was worse. Rotting eggs would have smelt better. Strider was shocked, he hadn't intended on his friends seeing him like this. He wiped his forehead. It was very hard work. He knew he shouldn't have eaten that sue-shi for lunch. He looked around for a leaf or something to wipe his butt with. But was interrupted. "What's this, a ranger caught off his guard?" Strider sat still, he felt something sharp pocking into his back. "Ohh my god! I'm truly sorry. I didn't realise..." Strider turned around to face the person talking to him and moved the tree branch that pocked him in the back. It was Arwen, his crush. "Shit! Dam it! Don't look!" He yelled as his cheeks grew bright red. Arwen quickly turned and walked to the other side of the tree, where she saw Boromir huddled in the tent, with his hands over his ears and shaking back and forth. "I can't find anything to wipe with?" She heard Strider call from behind the tree. She looked around for something and spotted a light grey cloak, lying beside the tent entrance. She picked it up and threw it in Striders direction. "I can't reach it." He yelled back as he stretched out his arm to reach for it. But whilst doing this he lost balance and feel on to his side, with his pants around his ankles and his un-wiped bare bum, showing for the whole world to see. Arwen screamed and ran to her horse, then galloped off. Strider lay on the ground for a few minutes, taking in what had just happened. He heard voices coming towards him. It sounded like a female. More than one female. He got up and wiped his bum but before he could pull up his pants the shrubs around him shivered and two figures stepped out.
"Uh, oh, geez!" Liz yelled as she stepped out from the shrub. She and Tad had changed directions and turned back to come get the tent that had gone missing. Tad seeing this site fainted on the spot and Liz ran to the other side of the tree. She saw her tent and in the rush to just get out and away from this awkward situation, she ran and jumped on her tent. "Ooow!" She heard a voice moan as she landed hard on the tent. She ignored it and started to bundle the tent to pack it away. She stopped suddenly when she found a body under the tent. It was Boromir. He lay limp and not moving on the ground.
Meanwhile, Strider had pulled up his pants and ran away, trying to find his friends and tell them that Liz and Tad were back.
Liz slapped Boromir's cheeks but there was no response. She felt for a pulse but there was none. She stood up and quickly finished packing away her tent. Tad had woken to a horrible stink and quickly found Liz on the other side of the tree, standing beside Boromir's body. "Hello Boromir" Tad smiled as she helped Liz but the tent into her pack. Liz had propped Boromir's body up against the tree as if he was sitting. "Uh... he is sleeping." Liz lied as she pulled Tad away. "Hey look!" Tad said as she picked up Legolas's bow. She set an arrow and pulled back on the string. "Hurry!" Liz yelled at her friend, in a rush to get away. Tad, who got a fright from the yell, let go off the string and arrow, letting it flies hard through the air and into Boromir's already dead chest. "Tad! Oh no, look you killed him!" Liz lied as she pulled her friend away and went back to their mission.
"So where are they?" Frodo asked Strider as they walked back into the camping area. Strider looked around and said. "They must have left. Look they took the tent." "Where is Boromir?" Frodo asked. He lent up against the tree. "Look at this, there are blood splatters on the ground." He turned and looked at the tree. "And on the tree!" Legolas picked up his bow. "Still warm" He commented. He then sniffed the string. "Smells like orc" He lied. He didn't want the others to know about his plastic surgery and how he can't smell things because of it. "Orc?" Strider repeated.
Will Tad ever find out about the true death of Boromir? Will the fellowship ever find out about Legolas's plastic nose? Will Arwen ever be able to look strider in the eye again?
Find out next time on lord of the rings gone wrong.