Memories We Missed

Disclaimer: I'd like to take a trip to court, but going there without the guilty pleasure would only be half the fun.

Author's Note: It's toddler Harry! I know it's insane, doesn't make sense, and is slightly Auish------but come on! Reviews are welcome. Flames are in a sense are welcome. They will be used to light the candles in my room since my parents hid the matches.

** Due to financial difficulties the light at the end of the tunnel has been shut off. **

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Chapter I-------Girl's Night Out

" Love, you're so beautiful. Where have you been all my life?" Sirius paused for effect, " You're everything I ever wanted, ever dreamed for, could ever hope for! Now you're here. And you're all mine. Ah, I remember the first time I laid eyes on you, and look at us now. "

"Yes, Mr. Black. Look at you now. Pouring your heart out----to a motorcycle. " Sirius Black didn't tear his eyes from his new motorcycle, but he could almost picture the pretty redhead behind him; laughing. Which she was.

"It isn't funny."

"'Tis so. Harry thinks it's funny, don't you Harry? Yes Uncle Padfoot is a prat, like your father. Grow up to be like mummy. Or Remus. Mummy likes Daddy's friend Remus. So polite " Lily cooed to 9 month old Harry James Potter, who like Sirius's prediction, turned out to be a spitting image of his father, James.

"Why be polite when you can be like me? I'm everything a woman could ever ask for. The ladies fawn at my feet. You should have named him Sirius Potter." Came the crude retort.

Lily snorted, and was about to reply when James sauntered over wearing an apron and an oven mitt. Sirius tried to muffle his laughter but burst out when he noticed that the ends were singed. James + Cooking = Diaster.

"Good to see you too, mate, " James spoke loudly over Sirius, who by now was breathing in short gasps, "What are you lot doing in the street anyway? Come in and have some dinner. "

"He means what's left of dinner. Last time he burned the potatoes so badly, when you touched them they turned to crisp! "

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Dinner turned out to be quite pleasant, despite the fact that the cooking was horrible. Even James, who eats practically everything, couldn't stomach his own 'creation'.

Then all hell broke loose when she arrived………

Cimorene Brenner, Lily's good friend from Hogwarts, and Sirius's on and off girlfriend (They fought constantly over trivial matters ) rang the door at promptly 5:00 p.m., bringing terrible news with her………

"LILY!!!! YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME ALONE WITH THE BABY!!!! ARE YOU BLOODY MAD!??" shouted a dumbstruck James.

Lily pursed her lips "Perhaps. Darling, I planned this little trip ages ago. I just didn't tell you because you would try to stop me. I'm going to visit my parents and Cim and I will spend time in a nice little hotel. Do so shopping; hit some spas. It's only three days. Besides you have work off. " She scanned her suitcase to make sure she had everything and began the search for her cloak.

"YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME ALONE WITH THE BABY!! I DON'T KNOW A THING ABOUT BABIES EXCEPT HOW TO MAKE THEM!!!"

"You won't be alone, James. You'll have Sirius-----the sadistic bastard. Poor you. " Smirked the petite woman next to Lily. Her and Sirius were in some silly fight. Probably about Sirius's newfound toy----the bike.

"YOU CAN'T DRAG ME INTO THIS MADNESS! " Sirius yelled overdramatically.

"Yes, yes I can. I'm mad at you, so I hid the key to the house. " Cimorene tossed him a duffle bag, "there's a tooth brush and enough underwear to last until your apology. " The devastated young man's jaw couldn't drop any farther.

"Lily dear, I—I don't---I mean---I don't even know what to feed Harry…"

James hazel eyes pleaded with Lily's green ones. Meanwhile Harry was in his playpen sucking on a pacifier.

"Gah. This is what happens when I have a child with a child---y-y-you child! You feed babies milk James----not Butterbeer----not fire whiskey---milk!!!!" sputtered Lily. Cimorene rolled her eys and muttered 'men'.

"NOW, I'll see you on Saturday love, behave." The redhead got on her tippy-toes, kissed her husband good-bye, and smartly slammed the door.

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The sound rang throughout the house. The sound of that damned pacifier. Sirius and James were kneeled in front of little Harry, who sat facing them. His big, green, eyes never looked away from them, and that sucking sound. Just sucking, and sucking, and sucking, and sucking in the silence. Sucking, sucking, sucking, sucking, sucking, sucking………..

"AHHH!!!! I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE!!!!" Sirius leapt up, "TAKE THAT FREAKEN' NOOKIE FROM HIM!!!"

"Padfoot, I don't think we-----" Sirius gently wheedled the pacifier from the babies mouth. Who just stared and stared. Slowly, His big green eyes crinkled, and he began to wail. A bone-echoing sound.

"Nice going dipshit! You made my son cry! " snapped James, who was covering his ears.

"GAH! I'M SORRY HARRY, HAVE A GALLEON!!" The instant Sirius forfeited over the money, harry stopped, and began to play with the shiny new treasure.

"YOU MORON !!! YOU CAN'T GIVE A BABY MONEY!!! HE'LL CHOKE!!!! IT'LL BE ALL YOUR FAULT!!!! " James shrieked. Today was not his day, or the next three days for the matter. He was normally so level-headed.

"HE BIT ME!!!!!"

"STOP BEING THE BABY, AND GET THE BABY!!!"

"WHY DON'T YOU TRY, YOU'RE THE FATHER!!!"

"FINE!!!"

Now that James had the pacifier and the coin he had to decide which was worse. The crying, or the sucking.

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Outside of the Potter residence a muggle man was walking his dog. Even from the streets you could the wailing sound. It would be a long night for the whole neighborhood. Inside the house…

"Sing to him. "

"I can't sing. Just pray that he'll conk himself out. " Desperately, James Potter, Excellent seeker, Auror, Intellectual-----rocked his son back and forth. Bracing himself for hell.