Disclaimer: Come to think of I take a lot of things that I don't own. Harry Potter, Fanfiction.net, Lord of the Rings, My brother's money, My parent's money, My friend's money…hell! This computer isn't even mine!!!
Author's Note: I'm back, and I brought my little friends with me--- 76 itchy bug bites. Ugh. Actually, I've been back for a while, but I was just to lazy to update and I kinda had a writers block-----so Buddha forgive me!! Woo-hoo! Thank you to my 30 reviewers and flamers. I love all of you. That's why I'll do personalized thanks even for people who only read the 1st chappie, maybe I'll start doing it on a daily basis------right now.
Britany- sure I'll e-mail you. I gave up making people cry for New Years Eve, so I'm sorry. Glad you like it so much. Don't worry, I'll finish
Adriana Chan- Ah, thank you! It was late at night and I couldn't think of Apparate at the so evaporate would have to do.
Moony391- Thanks, I will. Keep reviewing.
UnCoNtRoLaBle: Hey! I love your username! ( hard to type though, ) I Love Prongs and Padfoot too! I'll try to update ASAP!
Summergirl63088: Yes, that's what I wanted to do, make something that could possibly never happen---exaggerate characters---ya know, take a break from angsty stories.
Eye-changling- ah. It's you again. I thought I had a restraining order on you and your cracked up ways! Talking to yourself again and making fun of my accent!! THE HORRID SHAME!!!!!!!. Now that that's finished. How's your LotR story, lover?
Kantomon- I'll try to as fast as I can. Might slow down a bit when school starts.
Emerald girl- I'm defiantly more into angst too----this is my first humor fic!
Slytherin's Snake- Ah! Yay! You reviewed again----you were one of my first reviewers! **applause**
Americangirl3489- No you didn't Ethel, I shan't say sorry for not telling you either. Ciao, darling. P.S., I like your baby story---especially the baby's name----keep going or I shall come over and make you!
Mronimusha- er……..**Doesn't know what to say**
BellatrixDIED- sure I'll alert you, glad it tickles your fancy.
Trinity Day- Ah, my flamer! I read some of your stories and they're really good! I can tell just by your writing why you wouldn't like my out of this world stuff. Sorry, but I'm going to finish my story anyway.
Angel()- HAAAA!!!!!!!! SNAPE!!!! I LOVE THE IDEA!!! Lemme think about it. If I use it, I'll dedicate the chappie to you!
Snuffles- Yes, my heart goes out to them…especially James!
Alyx- Yay! Another constant reviewer person! I'm fixing Trouble in Paradise now, so look for it under another name!
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!~ Parents can tell but never teach, unless they practice what they preach~!
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Chapter IV------Day 2----Callings and Werewolves
He was waltzing in the street. With Peter. Lily was smoking a pipe and pacing back and forth. She looked different-----older. Sirius was having an interesting conversation with Harry-------WITH HARRY?! Er….yes with Harry.
James untangled himself from Peter----Peter in drag----and walked closer to Harry. Harry mouthed the words 'typical of him' and faced Sirius again.
This irked James. He turned to Lily who smiled coyly and blew a smoke ring in his face. 'Sleeping this late? Are you ignoring me James?' she threw him a kiss.
James was about to point out that he was indeed not ignoring her when he was pulled roughly from behind. He turned around to face this……Moony?
It was surely his friend Remus Lupin. His hair was completely gray now, and he had a long beard. He was shouting 'GET UP!!! GET UP!!! YOU'RE SO LAZY!!!' in a terrifying manner. Oddly, he reminded James of a character from a muggle book he read not long ago. Hmm……what was his name……
Wait.
Wait!!
"GANDALF!!!! WAIT!!!! WE NEED TO MILK THE HORSES AND RACE THE COWS!!!! I—I………" James rubbed his sweaty forehead.
Now he most defiantly was incurably insane.
" JAMES!!!! DARLING, ARE YOU AWAKE YET? "
He felt to his side. No Sirius ( Ahh…the little joys in life. ) In fact, James clearly noted the distinct sound of teeth being brushed.
James groggily opened his eyes. No Lily, but of yes, that was Lily's voice calling to him.
Like some freakish muggle horror movie.
" JAMMMMEEEEEESS!!! WAKE-UP SLEEPY HEAD!!! C'MON JAMES I KNOW YOU HEAR ME. WAKE-UP!!!!!!!" the latter was a barking command. James put on his glasses, and obeyed.
Ah. The morning was getting the better of him. He knew now. James stretched his lanky frame and sauntered into the living room.
"Hello love, " he crouched down by the hearth of the fireplace, "sorry that took a bit. " To prove his point, he yawned loudly. Lily smiled.
" Glad you slept well. How are things James? Don't get used to being this lazy, you go back to work the day after tomorrow, and that same day we have a gathering of the O----you-know-what. Dumbledore wants to talk to us personally about you know," she and James exchanged grim smiles," and----" She stopped in mid rant, "Forget all of that. " James snorted.
"Done." He said simply with the wave of his hand.
"Just tell how Harry is, dear. He's okay, not sick or injured?" James immediately became defensive. His mind raced angrily; blinded:
'Like her to think I'd screw everything up! It's like she still thinks I'm the boy I was back in school!'
'But the boy she met back in school was the boy she married…'
'She must've of been crazy then…'
'eh..heh heh heh….You frighten me! Don't talk! '
'Silence!'
"Silence!!..oh er…." James flushed. Mornings were not good times for his mental state. Lily quirked an eyebrow quizzically.
"Honey, are you sure you're all right…? I can come home, or---" No. He would not be responsible for ruining Lily's vacation. Though he wanted her home, he knew how much she deserved it. Needed it, more like it.
"No don't do that!! I'm fine!!! Harry's fine." Like an omen, dear little Harry decided to wake up. And take James' eardrums with him.
"Is that Harry!???EVERYTHING'S OKAY, RIGHT!!??" Lily became frantic.
"NO! NO. no….no. That's……..Sirius. He's….er, he's upset. " James fumbled over the words. 'Where is that git now, I wonder?'
"Upset!? " Lily exclaimed; bewildered.
"Yes, horribly upset. I really love you dear, but I must go…console him." James rushed; he had to go take care of Harry. He really didn't know why he made up that inane excuse anyway. Lily's sighed, and seconds later her head disappeared from the fire.
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"Men can be so infuriating. " Lily commented to her friend, Cimorene, who was filing her nails and reading a magazine on her hotel bed.
"Mmmhmmm…" Cimorene answered, never once looking up.
"I mean, honestly, he thinks I'll believe that it was Sirius who balling his eyes out, " At this Cimorene looked up, " when it was obviously Harry, probably just waking up. I don't know why it wounded him so to speak of it." Suddenly disinterested, Cimorene returned to her nails.
"Lily, don't fret. It was just James' pride at stake. He wants you to know he can take care of matters. He has a huge ego. Remember that day in seventh year when he had a hickie? " Cimorene continued, dryly, " He told everyone who commented about it that he burned himself with a curling iron. Then when that wasn't manly enough; a fire spell casted by Snape. "
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Coffee. He needed coffee.
James paraded into the kitchen, baby in hand, ready for almost anything. Except for a pleasant surprise; which is what he got.
Remus Lupin was seated at his kitchen table reading the Daily Prophet, looking as beaten and tired as usual.
"Moony, mate!!! It's been a month since I saw you!! I didn't know you were coming here! " James secured Harry in his highchair and took a seat next to his friend. Lupin smiled and continued reading the paper.
" I was in the neighborhood, so I dropped by. Just lost my latest job, so…I had time for a visit. "
"……..Sorry mate…." James really didn't know what to say to the fact that Remus lost his job because of what he was. A Werewolf.
"BREAKFAST IS READY !!!!!!!! " the lingering silence was broken by Sirius; fully equipped with a frying pan and spatula. He hastily served Remus, but stopped in front of James.
"Oh. It's you. Don't you need to console me? " He slipped in slyly as he served James.
"What more did you hear, you prat!? " James demanded suspiciously. Sirius took his merry time to seat and serve himself before facing James again; not holding back a big, dopey, grin that dominated his features.
"Honestly Prongs, I never knew you swung that way………GANDALF!! OH, GANDALF!! WAIT!!!!! " Sirius cried dramatically. Remus chuckled and Harry gurgled at all the excitement. James unsuccessfully tried to rip out his hair.
Damn the man, for he hears far too much.
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It was lovely outside; the wind was blowing away the stuffy heat and the sun was half-captured by some fluffy clouds, An ideal day for a stroll in the park.
James pushed the stroller expertly in front of him; having small chat with Remus while Sirius ran ahead in Animagus form sniffing up women's skirts.
They talked about Hogwart days, how they've been, and irksome things. Basically anything with a light mood. Sirius got impatient with them and tried in vain to pull James by his sleeve. A young yuppie out for a late morning jog noted this and commented.
"Quite an aggressive male dog I'd say. Have you ever thought of getting him neutered? " She stopped and wiped her brow with a towel. James and Remus exchanged glances before bursting into uncontrollable laughter that even the confused woman joined in half-heartedly. Harry cooed.
"I………….ca…….can't……………breath…………" James gasped. It was just too much for Remus, who was shaking with silent laughter, " Sirius neutered…can you imagine? " James sputtered as he collected himself.
"Sirius? Such an odd name for a dog? Is he a mutt? No? Use him for breeding do you? " The woman prodded. If it is possible to imagine, the large bear-like dog's face wore an expression of pure horror. James smiled sardonically.
" Yes. Breeding seems to be the only thing the poor guy's good for these days. " He exchanged a smirk with Remus, " afraid we might have to put him down. His ability to hear things he isn't supposed to has gotten him into trouble." The woman nodded wordlessly as she knelt down to pat Padfoot's head, who gave a long warning, growl. Apparently he had heard quite well.
Point taken.
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To his surprise and pleasure, it had been a quick day.
James stretched his lanky form across his bed and delicately removed his glasses. Harry slept soundlessly across the hall and Sirius slept half-willingly on the couch. As much as he insisted Moony stay, his friend had boarded the Knight Bus three hours ago.
James chuckled to himself at how Sirius went ballistic when the nice girl (Who's name was Connie and was working her way through muggle college) was out of earshot. Then he went a little farther off the edge when he realized he was out of fresh underwear. ('SHE LIED!!! THERE ISN'T ENOUGH TO LAST ME TO A GODDAMNED APOLOGY!!!!!!')
Lily was coming home tomorrow, and as the last light went out on the street it dawned on James.
He was going to have a hard time sleeping tonight.
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A/N: Hope you liked it; This chappie is long!!! (21 pages typed!!) I'm planning on having two or three more chapters, then an epilogue-----so stay tuned!!
Oh, to eye-changling; the little tidbit where James is having a mental battle with himself----that is dedicated and inspired by you-----despite the jackshit queer you are-----going in on MY username and submitting a review to MY story! Scratch that---- A FRICKIN' FLAME----what drug are you not on? When I see you face-to-face next time I'm gonna…oh wait. Too late for that.
Americangirl3489: I'm 100% positive you recognized one little thingy James said when he woke up from his dream. Thank your sister and campouts-----and horrible, vicious rain. E-mail me.