Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter…mmmm….I'd destroy it, wouldn't I?

Author's Note: Hmm…yeah, school just started----those who share my pain already know. So between summer reading assignments and trying to find my freakin' locker I've found no time for this little data-drainer. Also, I've decided not to do personalized R&R anymore because they just take too long----so thank you for flaming and reviewing. I just have one thing to say---You must all remember this is a AU borderline parody, 'kay?

THIS CHAPPIE IS DEDICATED TO ANGEL() FOR HER MOMENT OF BRILLIANCE----YOU CAN THANK OR KILL HER FOR THIS EXTRA CHAPTER!!!!

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~~~Most people need to walk into the closet to come out of it~~~

Chapter X---Day 3---Midnight Rendezvous, Supermarkets, and a Foe

James sighed and rolled over. Judging by Sirius' snores and the way the stars were

Starting to fade into the sky it had to be around four-thirty, and he refused to sit here any longer and pretend to sleep.

Quietly, and oh so carefully, he tiptoed into the kitchen to made himself a cup of tea. The Daily Prophet would be here in about an hour, and until then he would just have to do…well a lot of nothing. Maybe he should go do some grocery shopping. His tea tasted bloody horrible without any cream. Or maybe he should go back to bed.

Oh yeah.

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"ssssshit" James hissed almost inaudibly, as he stubbed his toe on a end table that normally was located right by the coathanger, not in the middle of the hallway. Hmmm…

Sirius had moved the furniture around again.

He silently laughed as he stepped over Padfoot, tangled in his sheets on the floor. The couch was way too small for his lengthy body. Prongs delicately moved the pillow under his friend's head and stared at his sleeping face. Slowly, Padfoot's mouth twitched into a large grin. James smiled back.

"Eh. Did you get any sleep at all? " Staring down at the cocky, but nonetheless tired, face looking back up at him.

" Yes, I did. Until someone stubbed their toe, used a broken kettle that sounds like a train wreck to make himself some tea, and then, for no reason but pure apathy, decides to move the poor sleeping body of his dear friend around. "

"Well, excuse a foolish bloke for thinking his friend might be more comfortable with a pillow; unless you like sleeping on the floor? I could just take this away…" James made a grab for the pillow, jokingly, of course.

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"Oww. You didn't have to flip me over the couch."

"I didn't mean to."

"It's just a pillow. "

"I was very cozy, and you were taking that all away from me. "

" It was a joke. "

"It was a reflex."

"What were you thinking?!"

"I'm wasn't thinking. It's four in the morning. " James and Sirius sat facing each other in Harry's room. Sirius looked extremely sheepish as James gave Harry his bottle.

The baby had been arisen by a loud thud in the Front room.

James burped Harry, and stood to move the squirming baby onto the changing table. Sirius gazed out the window.

"Do you think I'll make a good father? " James asked quietly, his back to Sirius as he made sure Harry's fresh diaper was on securely. He didn't turn around to look at Sirius, and anticipated his silence as a bad thing, though it really only was shock at such an affronted question. He rushed on with something he had obviously been wondering about for quite some time.

" I know I really am to begin with too young to be a father, I've never been a father or had one for that matter. How am I not supposed to mess up? There are times when I can be as immature as the eleven year-old that entered Hogwarts his first year. I'm twenty-two years old. How can I raise a child? " James was finally facing Sirius; desperate pleading in his eyes. Harry broke the silence by cooing and kicking his legs against his father's chest. Sirius relaxed a little.

" Being a father isn't about knowing what's right. It's doing what's right. Sure, you're young and inexperienced, but that doesn't mean a thing. It's paternal feelings and instincts and love, too. Look at Lily, she's never been a mother before, but again, she is a great one. " The silence was heavy in the room for a while, as James seriously contemplated his friend's response. It didn't last long of course. Sirius' stomach rumbled loud enough for people to believe that he had ate some enormous purring cat; or had been fasting for five years.

"Err…I'm hungry. "

"I can tell. "

"I'll just go in the kitchen and make some eggs, toast, hash browns…perhaps some OJ too. "

"Don't bother unless you know how to make eggs without eggs, toast without bread, Hash without potatoes, and if you want orange juice, you can squeeze it from some old bananas. " James stated, smiling by now.

" Well I can transfigure…"

"Nah, let's just go shopping. "

And so they went, at 4:30 in the morning.

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" Umm…James, where do we start? " Sirius stood at the entrance of the nearest muggle grocery store. The closer he got to the doors, the more he disliked the idea of shopping in the place. It was big and bright, with once white walls going yellow. There only appeared to be five or so people in the asylum-like confinement, not including the acne covered teenager with multiple piercing at the checkout. The other creeps crawled about the place too, weaving their carts through the aisles.

No, regardless of what world you were raised in, Muggle or Wizard, if you stalked the shopping lanes at this time, you were indeed a weirdo.

Sirius stopped himself from falling over backwards when the automatic doors opened, which was a good thing because he was carrying baby Harry. 'Even muggles use magic in their everyday lives!!' he shouted with delight over his shoulder to James, who had already been to the muggle supermarket with Lily numerous times. Sirius, on the other hand, never had as Cimorene or whoever he momentarily was shacking up with, did the shopping for him.

They located a cart and started in the dairy section, Sirius picking out things that appeased his appetite at the moment; yogurt, 'ice cream, lot's of ice cream!', strawberry milk---whatever that was about, different flavors of chips, varieties of soda, ('Uh, padfoot? Is any of this really necessary' inquired a dumbfound James staring at his suddenly full chart, so to an extent, that there was barely any room for Harry. )

"Well, not really. But I'll be staying with you and Lily for a---"

"What do you mean?!"

"Cim's mad at me, I've been kicked out until an apology, remember?"

"That's simple! Apologize!! " James said as if it was the easiest thing in the world. To be truthful to himself, he realized he had issues with apologizing like it was nothing, too. He could be a little proud sometimes.

Sirius gaped openly; in a fish like manner, flopping his arms about, "But that vixen wants my motorbike liquefied! "

"Is it really worth all that !? Make a compromise or something…" James continued lecturing Sirius as he pushed their cart towards the checkout. Detouring through the frozen foods section while muttering sternly, James almost didn't see a tall thin figure stooped into the freezer, stretching his long thin arms to reach some strawberry ice cream way in the back.

Sometimes *almost* is a little too late.

"WHY DON'T YOU WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING!! You muggles with your dirty blood and your impossibly meaningless consumer driven lives. " The figured on the floor snarled out at James and Sirius who were too stupefied to make one and one two. Slowly it registered.

Muggles. It mentioned, though in furious rant, muggles in a lower term.

The abnormally large, hooked, nose.

Dirty blood. That was a big pointer.

The disgusting grease hair.

The weird statement about 'meaningless consumer driven lives'

Snape.

Gah! IT WAS SNAPE!!!!

Now Professor Severus Snape was a man of high intellect, and little patience. While stopping his ice cream from rolling away, he eyed the two men and child above him in a loathsome limelight. Potter, Black, Little Potter. Eck. How sickly. Their conversation would have to be kept barely civil. He could hardly curse them and run, like he would do in old school days, in front of a bunch of mudbloods in a supermarket.

"POTTER.." Snape drawled evilly, " You and your wife," he locked eyes with Black, "shopping for little junior here? To celebrate his first word or something? To create him into an egotistical testosterone based moron that you both are. A trait I believe you were born with." He sneered; it couldn't be helped. James face tightened and Sirius stared at their archenemy with fire in his eyes.

So much for civil.

Sirius, a rival and an opposite of the crazed man with strawberry ice cream just picking himself up off the ground, worked on impulse.

In an instant he had the thin infuriating man in a headlock and was attempting to shove him into the freezer, shouting through Snapes wild and shrill screams, and random kicks, curses worthy of a sailor.

"GET…GET IN…SNIVERUS….YOU….UTTER….I'LL GET YOU…IN THE…" Sirius furious pants as he tried to shove Snape into the exact same freezer where the man's beloved strawberry ice cream came from. Severus, resisting in a wild manner, braced himself by placing his legs on either side of the door.

" YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!! YOU CAN'T!!! YOU JUST WAIT!! I'LL COME BACK AND CASTRATE YOU WITH YOUR OWN WAND!!!! " Snape's loud shrill screams carried over to the pimply teenager, who was obviously in charge. From a distance, the pair must've looked ridiculous:

One tall black haired man, shouting at the top of his lungs while trying to force an even taller and thinner black haired male into one of the store's freezers. The 'victim' was imposing loud inane threats, while the other male present was calming a baby and yelling subduing words at the attacker.

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Warily, James trudged into the kitchen at dawn, followed by a worn-out Sirius, forced to carry all the grocery bags and push the baby stroller with a very grumpy and mildly disturbed baby as his punishment.

Strained, " I can't believe you just jumped Snape. You can't do that anymore, especially in public. I'm surprised they didn't throw us out. " James took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes and neck.

Having already been drilled with this 'old' argument, Sirius ignored his friend until he finished cracking an egg. " Heh. Lack of control in the morning, though he really pushed it that time. Normally we provoke him," His eyes lightened a little, as they did when he was speaking of a joke, " It was all worth it in the to have them haul Snape out, still screaming and kicking with rage, demanding his rights for his ice cream and saying he would come back and curse them all. That image will be forever burned in my mind. " Sirius laughed out loud now, probably reliving the memory at the exact moment.

"Do you think the ministry will have to come and clear things up? "

Great. The last thing James need was a nice chat with the ministry, maybe even his boss would hear about it. Er…

"No, they'll just all assume he's a loon. Which he is. Lily's coming home today. " Padfoot changed the subject as he scrambled the eggs. A multi-talented man.

"Hmm… I know. Hey, let's do something special for the girls when they get back. " The two men exchanged mischievous glances and nodded. Oh, yes. A surprise would suit the women well.

Grinning, James pushed the plate full of food that Sirius just served him, away. Sirius quirked an eyebrow.

" You know what, Padfoot my friend? "

"What Prongs? "

"I'm kinda tired. "

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A/N: There. That chapter had no point whatsoever. Two more to go. Well, more like one and an epilogue.