Nascence
In the darkness of the still and endless night,
in those moments before dawn when everything seems hopeless,
you stare at me with those quiet, hurt, undemanding eyes
and I gaze right back unable to speak past my fear.
I know you are hurt by all the cruel things I say,
I can see the tears that fill your beautiful eyes.
And that strange something reminescent of lightning
that I cannot name passes in the air between us.
It is so strong that I fear it will consume me,
so instead of facing it and you, I turn away.
Watching the dark horizon, and waiting for the dawn to come,
I try to ignore the unignorable feel of your eyes on my back.
I wish I could destroy these things that fill me
when you look at me, and when I watch you;
this guilt and self-loathing that wrenches at my heart.
Yet there is that other feeling that I do not want to lose,
that exquisite pain more powerful than the guilt
and more beautiful than the stars in the midnight sky,
that slowly fills my veins and encompasses my heart.
I do not want to give up this amazing sensation,
and yet it scares me so I try desperately to fight it back.
I stare ahead at the horizon, trying to ignore your voice in my head,
and I watch as light ever so slowly spreads into the black sky.
The sun creeps from its bed and the dawn is born again.
And as I watch the dawn explode into being,
I realize that this feeling in me is born of the same strange mix
of dark and light that creates the palette of the morning air.
And this thing that is born in me, slowly coming into existence...
could it be that perfect painful ecstacy called love?
Author's Note: Nascence means coming into existence; growing and developing… in case you didn't know. I thought it made a cool title for the poem. Of course, this one is from Inuyasha to Kagome. Duh, right? Well, hope you liked it. I enjoyed writing it.